Friends and Lovers

Ssj_hotaru

Prologue

The sun was just beginning to sink below the horizon when she approached the large building at the back of campus. Glancing nervously over her shoulder she saw the windows of the now empty classrooms reflecting back fiery hues of the setting sun, painting the school with a golden palette. It looked like she was alone for now, but she was running late and people would be arriving soon.

"You can do this Sora" She said, holding the package to her chest with shaking hands. She stared at the door ahead of her, the knot of anxiety twisting in her stomach until she could barely breathe. Her palms were sweaty and she wiped her hands on her skirt one at a time, taking care to keep the package steady. It was just an ordinary school door, painted off white with BACK STAGE printed across the top in bold black letters, and yet to her the door felt like a barrier that, once breached, would alter the fate of the world- her world at least.

The last day of senior year was coming to an end. Tomorrow they would no longer be high school students, but graduates going away to college to start their lives as adults. This could be her last chance and all she needed to do was walk through that door and deliver her package.

She took a deep breath and leaned against the wall beside the door while she gathered her courage. "You can do this."

The breeze ruffled her hair and she reached up to brush her bangs aside before she remembered that she'd clipped them back. She sighed and dropped her hand. She had excused herself early from school so she could prepare for this night. She agonized over her appearance for several hours- a stereotypical dilemma, but a new experience for her. Her wardrobe was seriously lacking and she had finally been forced to settle on a knee length uniform skirt she rarely wore. Rolled it up at the waist it fell at a more fashionable mid-thigh and she just left the button down shirt untucked to hide the trick. The real struggle had been hair and makeup. She never bothered with either and it showed. She'd taken two showers to start over before she was dangerously out of time and she'd been forced to abandon any hope of looking sexy with her obvious lack of skill. She'd only had time to dry her hair and swipe mascara over her lashes, and even then she was still running late.

She figured her appearance, paired with knee high white socks and Mary Jane shoes meant she must look like any other school girl- definitely NOT the look she'd been going for. Sadly, she wasn't going to wow any man with her outfit, but despite the depressingly average attire she felt vulnerable. If anyone she knew saw her they would know immediately what was up. Sora Takenouchi did not wear short skirts and makeup.

Shame and self-disgust roiled in her stomach. I'm going to be sick she mused, shaking her head. She had thought she was better than this, but here she was all dressed up and agonizing over whether or not she would be noticed by some boy.

But not just any boy she reminded herself, The Boy. The only boy she'd ever wanted. She'd loved him ever since that fateful summer years ago. They had shared something special in the cave- something she was sure had bonded them for life. The memory had kept her from losing all hope as he continued to overlook her pitiful attempts to get his attention in favor of short skirts and pretty faces.

Her pride kept her from competing with the other girls. She wasn't going to parade around in tiny clothes and makeup like a doll begging to be played with. They had something special and one day... well one day he would see that she was the one he belonged with- not those pretty empty headed dolls.

And yet here she was- finally, desperately, she had given in. It was their last day of high school and it was now or never. She started shaking again. There was so much she could gain... but so much to lose too.

The two of them were close friends and had been for years. High school had only brought them closer as the rest of their group began to split up- going to different activity clubs and eventually even different schools. Through it all Sora had made sure to stay with him, to be there for him until it felt like it was the two of them against the world. She couldn't play the game of seduction, but she felt confident her steady companionship would eventually win his love; she just had to wait for him to see that she was better than those other girls.

Last night forced her to realize that would never happen. When her phone rang he asked for her and she had gone to him, just as she always did.

She'd sat with her legs crossed on his bed watching him pace like a caged animal, angry and hurt by the exploits of his newest ex-girlfriend. He hated games and he was adamant that he would not play them. Sora knew all about his childhood growing up in a broken home with parents who couldn't stop hurting each other even after moving into separate homes. It was hard for him to open up to another person and she knew that he shut down fast when girls started to play with his emotions. She felt smug, as she always did, when other girls tried to manipulate him and crashed full speed into that wall.

"I just don't understand!" he declared with exasperation and collapsed backwards into the bed beside her, glaring at the ceiling. "Why does every girl have to act like this?"

Sora sighed and leaned back on her hands. She couldn't answer the way she desperately wanted to answer. To tell him that SHE would never play games and manipulate him. Her eyes wandered to the ceiling as well, and she answered as honestly as she could. "I don't know."

She felt him shift on the bed and looked down to see he had propped himself up on his side and was eyeing her intently. Her heart started to pound so hard she was sure he could hear it. Was this it? Was this the night he understood that they belonged together? Finally, after several long moments in which Sora forgot to breathe, he looked away.

"Why can't other girls be more like you?" He wondered.

The breath she'd been holding escaped in a whoosh as his words hit her like a punch in the gut. Why can't they be like me? Angry tears pricked her eyes and her heart constricted so painfully she couldn't even think of replying. He'll never see me, she realized; he'll never look through those other girls and see ME.

"Not possible I guess." She forced herself to say. She was feeling so many things that she couldn't even begin to contain and her chin was started to tremble. She needed to escape before she lost it completely. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood.

"Yeah, guess a girl can't be cool and hot," he said lightly as he pushed himself off the bed as well, "it would probably cause the end of the universe or something."

Just shut up! She wanted to shout; surely he couldn't be so incredibly clueless. Before he could say anything else she made an excuse and escaped his house.

She realized with awful clarity that he was never going to notice her as anything more than a friend unless something changed- and that something needed to start with her. Alone and safe in her room with her face buried in her tear soaked pillow she knew that she needed to make those changes. She couldn't stay his friend and love him like she did- the pain was just too much.

After tomorrow they would pack up all their belongings and drive hours away to move into a tiny two bedroom apartment they had agreed to share, in a town where they would both be attending the same college. At the time they'd made their plans Sora had wanted to dance she'd been so excited. Living together meant that she would have the best opportunity to make him realize they were soulmates. It would have been just like their time spent in the cave again.

Only now it was painfully obvious that it was just a fantasy. In reality she would just be living with the man she loved while he paraded a stream of beautiful girls through his bedroom and whined that they should be more like her.

The revelation filled her with horror. She couldn't do it... she just couldn't. Until then she had always thought she had time for him to come to her on his own, but now she knew that drastic action had to be taken.

So here she was, taking drastic action.

Sora sighed again and straightened away from the wall. He was on the other side of that door. The remaining gang had agreed to help set up the equipment for the concert tonight- a final farewell to the students who would wake up tomorrow as adults. It was now or never. Her pivotal moment had arrived and it was time to walk through that door and take destiny into her own hands.

Screwing up her courage, she adjusted her grip on the package and very deliberately reached for the door. All her insecurities were battering away at her self-confidence and she could see her hand shaking as her fingers closed around the cool metal handle. Through sheer determination she stamped down the fear that threatened to undo her and turned the knob.

Before she could pull it open, the heavy door swung out towards her, sending her stumbling backwards- surprised and unbalanced.

"Sora?" A familiar voice asked, "What are you doing?" Taichi's face framed with wild brown hair poked out from behind the door and he looked her over curiously. "And what are you wearing?"

She felt her face grow hot and knew she was blushing. Silently cursing her complexion she tried to think of an explanation, but Taichi ignored her stuttering attempts as he continued to look her over. His eyes fell on the package in her hands.

"What's that?" He asked in a soft voice. Sora didn't need the rush of heat to tell her she was glowing red. She hugged the packed protectively against herself.

"Cake," She answered barely above a whisper. She couldn't meet his eyes and so she stared at the toes of her shiny black shoes. Please don't let him guess she thought desperately, but she knew she wouldn't be so lucky.

"For Matt," He said, a statement- not a question "It's about time!"

Her head jerked up at his tone and her startled eyes met his. He opened the door the rest of the way and stepped closer.

"Wh-What?" She stuttered, surely he didn't suspect...?

"Come on Sora," he chided gently. He reached out his hand and brushed his knuckles against her hot cheek. "I've known you longer than anyone else; you think I don't know?"

"I hoped you didn't." She said honestly, irritated and ashamed. Her stomach sank, "does everyone know?" Had everyone been laughing at her all this time?

"I don't think so," he said and then he smiled ruefully, "I only know because I was watching."

Sora sighed with relief, but it was short lived as his words sank in. She frowned at him. "What do you mean?" she demanded, "Watching?"

He flashed another smile tinged with regret and just a hint of self-loathing. "Let's just say there was a time I hoped you would bring me cake." Then he winked at her and stepped out of the doorway, clearing her path inside. "Now get in there- I've been waiting a long time for you to take some action."

"Taichi..." She started, but he cut her off.

"Go on- I'll be fine." She smiled at him and tried to convey all the sympathy and regret she felt. If only she had loved him instead, how different things could have been. As she walked by him into the auditorium she went up on her toes and pressed her lips to his cheek.

"Thank you." She whispered, her voice full of emotions she couldn't have put into words if she tried, then she hurried inside before he could respond. Her heart was aching, but even so she felt lighter than she'd felt in a long time. Maybe she actually had a chance with this... Maybe Matt, like Taichi, had just been waiting for her to finally make her move. She couldn't help the ear to ear grin that broke across her face, but she did resist the urge to skip down the hallway.

Voices echoed from an open room near the end of the corridor and her stomach fluttered at his familiar deep tones. This is it she thought and swallowed nervously. As she drew closer another voice reached her ears and she paused, because she knew that voice as well.

The new ex-girlfriend.

Her stomach twisted in a sickening way and she wanted to turn back, but she forced herself to put one foot in front of the other. The voices grew more distinct as she approached and she was able to catch the words "jealous" and "clingy" until finally she stood just outside the door.

"-with that girl." She heard the ex finish.

"She is my friend." Matt's tone clearly discouraged any argument. It seemed they might be talking about her and Sora's heart warmed at his defense. She put her back against the wall and leaned closer.

"She's always around you." The ex-girlfriend sounded defensive as she explained herself. "It's obvious she has a thing for you."

"Don't be ridiculous," He said, his tone amused "she's practically family." As quickly as her heart had warmed it grew cold. Practically family...

"I don't know about that," the ex said, "And the idea of you living together- it makes me a little crazy."

"There's nothing to get crazy about." He assured her, his voice low and soothing. Sora imagined he had stepped closer- possibly even taken his ex in his arms. Tears burned her eyes and she didn't even fight to hold them back. Could it be that she was too late after all?

"Are you sure?" the girl asked in a small voice, as if she barely dared to hope. "Can you swear I have nothing to worry about?"

"With Sora?" his voice was comically incredulous. "Are you kidding?!"

She could feel the blood drain from her face, leaving her hollow. Was she so repulsive- so impossible to love? A thunderous rushing filled her ears like waves crashing, drowning out anything else they may have said.

Her breath caught on a sob and she dropped the package, watching in a daze as the box opened and the cake rolled out onto the floor. It landed face up at her feet, the words "I love you" written painstakingly in red icing mocked her pathetic delusions.

Her eyes blinded by tears she kicked the cake away from her and fled. She ran pass her friends as they emerged into the hall and heard Taichi's startled voice call her name. She fled from the shame that sat like a rock in her gut. She fled from Matt.

Desperately, thoughtlessly... she fled.