The next morning, Jason played hide-and-seek with Sasha; more of the children, the ones who weren't too traumatized, joined in. It was good to see them all playing, doing normal things.
Later, Sasha requested that he teach her as much as he could about being an agent. She sat on the cinderblock, rapt, chin in her hands, as he taught her some basics. Then he taught her some basic self-defense moves. He doubted it would help her here… but a child who fought back could take the guards by surprise….
The children were all forced back into their cells; about half the adults were taken out. There was no rhyme or reason to the pattern that Jason could figure out yet.
Jason rushed back to his room to get the pencil and paper Ali had sent down last night. He also snatched up The Odyssey to show the others. Ali had remembered that was the book Jason had been reading in his bedroom.
By the time he got back to the center, Kiran was wandering aimlessly about the room.
"Are you alright?" Jason asked.
Kiran nodded, looking a little startled. "They just… haven't given me anything to eat lately. I get low blood sugar…."
"I have a cake in my room. I was going to wait until lunch to share it with Sasha, but—"
Kiran shook his head. "I can wait. Just… mind gets garbled… can't think right… stories don't work."
"I've got something for you." Jason handed him the pencil and notebook.
Kiran took them, looking at them in wonder. "Thank you! Where did you get these?"
"Don't worry, I didn't have to do anything special to get them."
"I will try to use them when I can think again. What's that?" He gestured to the book in Jason's left hand.
Jason lifted it.
"The Odyssey!"
"You can read it if you want."
"No—I couldn't. You keep it."
"Maybe we could start a book club. Pass the book around and discuss the chapters?"
"That would be cool. Probably help me get my words back..."
"I'll lend it to you so you can catch up. Then you can lend it to anyone else who wants to read it."
Jason handed the book to Kiran, who took it carefully. Jason tried to ignore the sorrow he felt parting with it.
"Why don't you take the pencil and paper for now. Till I can write again." He handed the items back to Jason.
"Could you lend me your rock?"
"Sure." He slid his hand into his pocket and handed it to Jason.
Jason invited Kiran to Sasha's birthday party, then Kiran went over to the side to read his book. Jason felt a little bereft; it wasn't just that reading would engage his mind—it was that its very name meant something precious to him.
Odyssey.
The word struck a sharp chord through his heart.
Jason invited Lucia and Quinn to the party, then he went in search of Serhii. The cell door was open, but Serhii was still in his room. On his bunk, he was leaning over, arms wrapped around his legs.
"Are you alright?" said Jason, concerned. "How are your injuries?"
Serhii unfolded himself and sat back against the wall. "I'm okay," he said.
"I can get you some painkiller."
"Sure." His voice was hoarse, rather breathless.
"Have they fed you?"
He shook his head. "Not since yesterday. I've been locked in since after you left."
"I'll get you some."
"They gave you some food?"
"Well… just cake."
"Cake?" He slid off the bed.
"You don't have to get up."
"I need to. Or I'll ossify here." He rose with a gasp and walked stiffly toward him, arm around his stomach. "It's hitting me more today… sometimes muscle injuries do that…"
He followed Jason to his room.
"Wow, you weren't kidding," said Serhii, hands on his hips, looking at the cake.
The three-tiered chocolate cake stood in the center of the table. It was frosted with daisies and roses.
"They didn't give you this for Sasha's birthday, did they?"
Jason shook his head. "Elena sent it down after I didn't finish dinner with her yesterday. I felt like smashing it—then I thought it'd be better to repurpose it."
"Good idea." His eyes shadowed. "You… didn't have to do anything for it…?"
"No. Well. She made it clear it's a…reward. For what, I'm not sure—I was pretty contentious during the dinner."
"Good."
Jason felt a small smile lift his lips; it was good to be back down in the company of normal people. He went over to the dresser and took the painkiller and restorative from the top drawer. Then he handed them to Serhii.
"What's that?" said Serhii, spilling the pills into his hand.
"What?"
"On the dresser."
"Oh." The wine bottle sat to the side; for some reason, Jason hadn't hidden it in the bottom drawer like he'd intended. "She gave me that too."
"Do you want it?"
"Not really."
"We could…repurpose it together later. If we have something to celebrate."
"I don't know if I can repurpose that. It… reminds me too much of her… of what she's been trying to do—" Pressure built in his chest. "It might be a temptation if…."
"I'll take it off your hands."
"Thanks." His stomach churned; there was a certain longing along with the relief, too disturbing to contemplate. What if it was the only escape… Well, there are still the mushrooms…
After taking the pills, drinking long and deeply, Serhii sat down on the wooden bench along the wall, leaning his head in his hand. Jason walked cautiously over to him.
"It's not just the pain," said Serhii, just above a whisper. "I can deal with that. But this place… it's darkness and despair… it's impossible weight bearing down on you… it's raw cruelty… you can barely escape into your mind because there's nothing to focus on…"
"Maybe… I can give you something."
"What?"
"They want you to be an agent. Maybe you should just give in so you can be one. I can't see you tortured anymore."
His eyes flashed. "Become a traitor!" He spat out some Ukrainian curses.
"You could be an agent with me then."
His eyes narrowed. "You're giving in?"
"Not after a long, long fight."
"How can you expect me to?"
Jason signed with the remnant of code he hadn't given away; what he'd thought he could reasonably hold out from them.
Pretend to Break.
Serhii signed 'yes' subtly. He didn't acknowledge it otherwise.
Perhaps this fragment of code would be enough to communicate…
It might be safer to start from scratch though. This could make do until then.
"I'm holding out as long as I can. But… who knows. It's already affecting me… and if they… do what they're threatening… At least Zakhar isn't Beneath yet. I'll do everything I can to keep him out of this…. He's not trained to withstand the pain that I am. And his gentle soul has already been damaged too much… if only I could get him from Michelle!"
"Since…. I've been going Above… I'll see if there's something I can do for him."
"That would be—wonderful. Please don't… put yourself in harm's way, though."
"I probably will just try to influence them in some way…." He wasn't sure if he would have the leverage… but he hated the idea of leaving the others to constant abuse. "I might be able to see him soon."
"Really?"
Jason nodded. Maybe I am going to the baby shower after all…
"Could you see if he's okay?"
"Yes. I'll distract them from him if I can."
"Just don't make any deals."
"Deals?"
"They might not honor them or honor them in a twisted way… Elena is the queen of the twisted bargain. Watch out."
"I will."
A few moments later, a guard forced Serhii out of the room and locked Jason in his. The call for lunch sounded. Jason longed to eat… but all he had was the cake, and he refused to eat that. He wasn't even sure if he would eat it for the party. It meant nothing to the others, but accepting it meant accepting Elena's 'gift'… accepting whatever she imagined was the trade for it. Being 'willingly' at the dinner, perhaps. Or 'pleasing' her there in some way.
Although perhaps it'd be transformed by Sasha's birthday…
While he waited, he drew a calendar on the wall with the jagged rock, starting with today, the twenty-seventh of September.
When his door opened, he went to gather the others for the party. Thankfully, the children had been let out again and Sasha was playing with some other kids.
She dashed into the Mush Room and brought him a piece of bread. It was rye and an even more generous portion than she'd given him before.
"It's your birthday," said Jason. "You should eat as much as you want."
"I did. This is for you." She held it out.
"I don't want you to go hungry!"
"They gave me more than usual. 'Sides, I don't like those seed things."
"Rye."
"Yeah." She made a face.
He couldn't help but laugh.
Lucia, Quinn, Kiran, Serhii, a few other adults, and about ten kids joined them; Sasha led the procession to his room.
As soon as she got there and saw the cake, her eyes lit up. She spun in a circle, flinging out her arms. "It's a better surprise than I imagined! It's like a miracle!" She hugged him. "I feel like Sarah!"
"Sarah?"
She spun away, holding his hand, walking to the table.
"Sarah Crewe. In that movie."
"A Little Princess."
She nodded. Grasped the edge of the table, looking at the cake.
"I…don't have candles," said Jason.
"I'll close my eyes and make a wish." She closed her eyes; it was almost as if the room dimmed, as if there were candles flickering on the cake—twelve of them.
She blew softly. The imaginary candles went out.
Then Jason took the knife.
"Don't!"
"Don't you want some?"
"It's so pretty… I don't want it to get chopped up."
"Well…you can't have your cake and eat it too."
She laughed, looking at him strangely. "I don't get it."
He chuckled. "I didn't get that expression for a long time, either."
Sasha looked around the room. "Everyone wants some. Oh, well. Might as well cut it."
Jason cut the cake into even pieces; it was so large there was still a generous, rather precarious stack left.
He handed her a large piece with a lot of flowers. She bit off a rose and closed her eyes in bliss. Then she took a bite of the chocolate. "This is amazing!"
He longed to give her another surprise—a much more astonishing miracle. Much more valuable than a piece of cake. Freedom. But he was still at a loss about how to get it. If only he could figure it out today… everyone would be free…
In the end, he took a piece himself and was glad he did. It tasted delicious and it was free of Elena's influence, purified by Sasha's joy.
They had just started playing a game of charades when his guards pushed their way into his room.
"Let's go," said Kent.
"Can't you see we're in the middle of a party?" said Jason.
"Do I have to ask… nicely?" said Kent, waving his shockrod.
Jason sighed. He stepped over to Sasha and crouched down. "Happy Birthday! In case I don't come back till late."
Kent tapped Jason's shoulder with the rod. "This is me asking nice."
Jason stood. "I'm coming." He strode toward the door, the guards scrambling to catch up with him.
Above, the guards didn't lead him toward the training room; his heart raced. Could he be bound for another date with Elena?
The guards led him to the greenhouse. Mist and heat billowed out into the hallway before the glass door shut. The guards left him, to his relief.
It smelled like damp earth and heat on stone and vegetation and compost and flowers. Light filtered down through the glass above. It seemed so similar to sunlight he almost thought it was… but it couldn't be, could it? He walked down the stone pathway, trees arching over it. Flowers gleaming like gems. Birds flitting from one branch to the next. He inhaled deeply; the air was spiced with the faint fragrance of citrus.
He found the orange grove he'd visited before Zar's party and grabbed an orange, then he sat down on the bench beneath it. He peeled the orange and gobbled up each section.
Warmth and comfort enveloped him. He was just about to lie down on the bench when a figure appeared, silhouetted against the light.
"Hello, Jason," said Tamara. "How's your hand?"
"Fine."
"You can come back later, if you like. I want to show you something. Since you're an agent, you're going to have access to all the perks that Admins enjoy."
"Is that… now, or only if I join you?"
"Now; otherwise, you wouldn't believe us. This way, you'll experience everything in a tangible way, so you know just what you'll be getting. In fact—why don't I give you this now." She slid her hand into her pocket and handed him a blue card with a white swoosh on it. "I've got you on the Basic plan for now. Later, once you progress, you'll have more privileges added."
"What can I do with this?"
"Get snacks. Go to restaurants—"
"There's more than one?"
"The other one's fast food. We also have a cafeteria, though we don't often go there. And there's a store. You can also access the theaters, library, museums—"
"You have all that here?"
"I'll show you." She gestured for him to follow, and he did, rather reluctantly. He hoped he could come back to the greenhouse… although today he had to get back down to celebrate the rest of Sasha's birthday. Perhaps he could get her something up here…
He slid the credit card into his pocket.
"You can also use the elevator to go Above on your own," she said as she strode toward the door, her heels clicking on the floor.
"Really?" He wasn't sure if he'd heard right.
"The System will probably usually demand an escort. But theoretically, you should be able to access everything up here, within reason."
"Within reason?"
She led him down an unfamiliar hallway. The wall glittered with stars and dramatic galaxies of purple and blue. "Anywhere that's not a sensitive area."
"Where's that?"
She laughed lightly. "Nowhere you need to know about."
The hallway opened onto a large, rounded glass space in the wall; it showed a generous cross-section of the menagerie. On this end, deer peacefully grazed in a pasture. It looked so much like the Outside he was struck with an unexpected longing. Tears sprang to his eyes. He turned away, trying to not let Tamara see.
"You can go in there if you want," she said. "Even the predators are quite tame. You never know a hundred percent with them, though. Best to stay clear of the bears, in any case." She led him further down where more glass interrupted the wall.
Large silvery fish, tinged with green, floated serenely; several feet below the hallway floor was a replica of an ocean floor, teeming with life. Corals, crabs, starfish… A small yellow seahorse floated past him. He reached out for it, imagining the gentle pressure of its curled tail around his finger.
"We have every amenity here," said Tamara. "Things people on the Outside couldn't even dream of."
The hallway darkened until it ended with a red carpet and two sets of velvet-covered doors. Tamara opened the first one; inside were luxurious reclining chairs on an incline and a massive movie screen.
She indicated a slot in the door. "Slide your card here, and it'll count your visit." She demonstrated with his card; the door pinged pleasantly. She handed it back to him. "As you can see, our world is the most advanced and efficient possible. What the rest of the world should be by now."
He stepped forward, his heart feeling like it was being squeezed. "Couldn't we bring the kids up here? Just for today?"
"What for?"
"They don't deserve to be slaves. Elena said she might uproot slavery of children."
"Really?"
He nodded. Not sure if he believed Elena would ever actually follow through, for any price.
"I…haven't heard that. I'll have to ask to confirm."
"Even if they're slaves… couldn't you let them have some relief for a day?"
"I can check… If the kids are bound for the harem, they'll be able to have some movie privileges. As long as they're sequestered from the general population."
"So… do you know who will be going to the harem?" He hoped it was all of them; at least it would buy him time so he could find a way to rescue them.
"I'll have to look at the lists…"
"Could you do that?"
"I'll let you know later."
"By the end of the day."
She nodded curtly.
Tamara showed him the theater next door; this one was for plays. "We don't often have them, to be honest," she said. "A few of us might have the time to practice a short skit…. Or sometimes we have a concert. Or our kids put together a talent show."
"Your kids?"
"Some people keep their kids here; this is their permanent home. It actually makes sense—keeps the Admins under the radar and keeps their kids in the safest possible environment."
It was such an irony that the Admins' kids were safe, while the others were locked in suffering…
"Do you have kids?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I probably wouldn't unless I had a partner… and that's… out of the question."
"Why?"
She looked startled, as if she hadn't expected the question. "Well, because…" She sighed and shook her head. "Because I love someone who can never return it."
"Elena."
"You noticed."
"It's hard not to."
"I try to hide it… it's such a weakness. And a strength…. It's her that I spend my waking hours for. As second in command… that's as much as I can ever have. I have to be content…." She turned away, as if she wasn't comfortable talking about this.
Across the hall from the theaters, she showed him a microcosm of a school; kids were walking down the hallways carrying books, laughing. They glanced at him but hardly paid him any attention. A pleasant bell rang, and the kids skipped to class.
"Kids here are actually eager to learn," said Tamara. "Our teachers are the best in the world; they teach an innovative, dynamic curriculum."
"Are they here willingly?"
Tamara hesitated. "For the most part."
"What does that mean."
"We… offer them whatever price they name. Sometimes they need… additional incentives."
After stepping through an empty classroom, Tamara opened the door to a large room with a stained-glass window in the cathedral ceiling. It shed broken yellow and orange light down onto shelves filled with books. Tables were scattered around the room; some had books on them, opened.
"You can use your card just like a library card here. If you take a book out, it's due back in a week."
"Can't we take them out for longer?"
"You can request them through the System—oh, right. You're not connected—you can't be until… after."
"What's the System?"
"It's like monitors, only it works both ways. Its network includes our phones. One reason why you can't access the phones at this point."
"I had one before."
"Those are basic… mostly for calls. Elena doesn't want you to be able to call anyone anymore, since you and Ali were abusing those privileges." She led him through the center of the library; the floor was marble, a subtle gold, green striating through it.
"We have some unique books here." Tamara gestured to the top shelves. Ladders were built into the sides of the shelves and could apparently slide out. "Those you aren't allowed to check out. But you can read them here."
He longed to bring the books Beneath for the others. He would try to get them some later; he didn't want to push his luck by asking if he could order books for other people. "How many can you check out at once?"
"Three," she said.
He wondered if The Odyssey was here. He could get several copies for the book club. Then they'd be able to discuss it sooner.
Next was a museum with ancient items and antiques. Tamara showed him Egyptian jars and medieval swords. There was a tiered display of fossils and gemstones. Ali probably comes here quite a bit, he thought.
Tamara stopped in the misty sunbeam filtering down from the green skylight. "So, what do you think?" She looked at him with a fervent intensity in her blue eyes.
"It's… There's a lot more here than I expected."
She smiled. "Everything you could ever need—and so much more."
He might pass the time up here when he needed a refuge… but he didn't want to abandon the others for long. Mainly he'd see if he could bring things down for them, brighten the dismal space.
She leaned on the table nearest her. "Eventually… could you see yourself living here?"
"I don't see how you can think I could ever leave everything and everyone I care about." He sat against the table opposite her. "I can visit things like this Outside whenever I want to. Besides, material things mean nothing compared to what really matters. Just because it's interesting and a little unusual—you think I'd abandon everyone I love? You're totally deluded— you have no idea who I really am."
"What if I told you you could bring your family here?"
"They'd never agree to it!"
"We could make it… worth their while."
"You can't transplant Odyssey here. They're not going to leave it for a place that traffics kids." He stood, glaring at her.
She gazed back, eyebrow raised impassively. "What you think we are… isn't all we are. It's just a small fraction. You can do much more good here than you could anywhere else. You'll see that eventually. Elena has created something beautiful. It's just in its latent form. It'll eventually blossom into something incredible—"
"It's built on the blood of innocent people. Nothing you do can brainwash me into supporting that. I can't think of anything worse than working for you."
Normally, being complacent about temptation could be a blind spot, but he was secure in knowing he would never want to be a human trafficker or work for anyone who was, even if they had altruistic goals or did positive things that weren't directly related to it. Only the evil alternate universe version of him might consider it… although he doubted any version of himself could be so evil.
"You'll eventually see everything we have to offer," said Tamara. "But we won't be able to show you the specifics of our operations until you're on our side. Perhaps I should show you some of our more positive departments, sections you could join eventually. I can introduce you to some of our agency heads, and they can show you some of what they do. Most of us work in areas unrelated to human trafficking."
She opened a glass door and took a diagonal shortcut through another vast greenhouse, this one mostly filled with flowers and a section for vegetables. Purple flowers spread into the distance, disappearing into the mist. He barely had time to look at them, but their light, sweet scent lingered as Tamara led him through the training room to show him the store, which was packed with snacks, necessities, games, toys….
He made a mental bookmark to come back here and get Sasha something for her birthday. And for the other kids.
Beyond the store was the fast-food restaurant. Most of it was automated (why not sell robots instead of slaves? he wondered. Especially if they're so advanced.). Then she led him back to the training room.
He was a little shaky; all he'd had since yesterday was a piece of chocolate cake. And an orange.
Tamara began with some light warmups, barely looking at him. He wondered if he'd offended her.
I shouldn't care what she feels or thinks at all.
All she is is a possible tool to escape.
Though she might be hard to influence…
The fact they didn't think he could escape, though… might be a weakness he could exploit. So many rooms... he could explore them for possible exits. Gather makeshift weapons… It seemed too good to be true. And probably was.
They did some light hand-to-hand combat; Tamara's eyes shone with approval. As they took a breather, she said, "You've broken through some of your mental barriers, I see."
He lifted his left hand. "I'm … starting to see it as an asset."
"That's the first step in making it one."
"I couldn't do the same with this one, though." He cradled his right hand. A warning shot of pain rippled through it.
"It's a limitation. And that forces you to see assets in other places. It's always good to break our preconceptions—and keep breaking them. In order to become the best possible agent."
"I—was going to ask you last time. About the others. Someone else might make a good agent."
"Who are you thinking of?"
"Sahara."
"I'd have to look at her profile."
"Thank you. Couldn't you let Serhii train with us, too?"
"I can look into it. It'll be more challenging to him, because he'll have to go through the Breaking program at the same time."
"It'll at least be a… break."
"I'll see what I can do."
As they resumed, grabbing fencing foils off the walls, Jason wondered if Gray and Elliot would join them, or if it'd be just the two of them from now on.
He adored this subtle, vivid dance. At least pretending he had a lethal weapon and could slash apart his enemies. Defend the helpless. Fight for justice, freedom…. And really make a difference.
He slashed at her; she kept retreating. Encouraged, he slammed the sword hard against her arm and she reeled sideways, caught off-balance, and caught herself on her knees. She lifted her mask, light brown hair spilling onto her shoulders. "I'm pretty sure that was illegal." She gave him a smile.
He grasped her hand and helped her to her feet.
Enthusiastic claps from along the edge. He took off his mask; he hadn't known he had an audience.
Elena strode toward them, her flowy yellow gown rippling behind her. "Beautiful! Just the sort of progress I was expecting."
"It was a rule violation," said Tamara.
"That doesn't matter! He's an agent—he doesn't have to fight fair. Besides, to watch someone so gorgeous—fighting with such elegance and speed—delicious." She pinched thumb and forefinger together.
Jason stood his ground, expecting her to beeline for him, but instead she walked over to Tamara.
"You've done such a good job with him that I've decided to reward you."
A look of hope filled Tamara's face, along with uncertainty.
Elena pressed one hand to Tamara's shoulder; she stiffened, took deep breaths. When Elena leaned over to whisper in her ear, she froze.
Elena spoke softly and swiftly— "The marvelous show—I couldn't stand it, I had to come down here."
"Have you been taking zyx?"
Elena nodded, stepping back a little. "You should try it sometime."
"I don't want my senses compromised."
"On the contrary, it enhances them. Yes, it's too much eventually…. But if I'm not doing anything I need a sharp mind for… if I'm taking it easy—which I basically am for two months… only way I can get through this!" She laughed. "Looking at the live feed…. I wanted to enhance everything. Maybe a bit too much when added to what he is already!"
"Elena—"
"I'm obsessing, I know. But look at him!" She flung her arm toward Jason, piercing him with her eyes. As if a shockwave shot through the air toward him, almost knocking him off balance. Then she turned the full force of her spotlight back at Tamara. "In such proximity to him… absorbing some of his essence… I could almost kiss you."
Elena leaned in, pressing subtly on the back of Tamara's neck. Tamara closed her eyes, quivering, her lips slightly parted. Elena's lips stopped a hairsbreadth from Tamara's and she drew back, laughing.
A hurt look crossed Tamara's eyes before she gathered her professional façade back together, which still hinted indignance mixed with longing. "You're not yourself."
"Maybe I am going a bit crazy. But how can I not, with him flaunting his attributes!" She gestured at Jason again. "And I'm practically on bedrest and it's not fair."
"Elena—"
"Don't worry." She swiveled to face Jason and swanned over to him. "I just need to let off some steam…. Or I will blow up and you'll be the one to pick up the pieces." She half-turned back toward Tamara, who was standing stiffly, like a wounded statue. "Besides—you have your reward. I've decided to give you Alelu."
"Really?" Tamara's eyes lit up.
"You can pick her up any time today if you want." She walked up to Jason, looked him up and down.
He folded his arms to put some distance between them without moving away.
She laughed, her head tilted, as if she understood the reason for his reaction. There was a strange gleam in her eye; he suspected it was the zyx, more than she probably should have used.
A vulnerability I could exploit… along with her pregnancy. Not hurt her… but I can easily push her away. Her fragility is an asset right now. I have to keep it in mind in case she tries something.
Her eyes narrowed as she searched his. "You've grown."
"I don't think so."
"Here." She grasped his bicep.
He froze for a flicker of a second, then a red thread sliced through his mind. He yanked his arm away, folded his hands behind his back.
She laughed. "And here." She reached for his head; he swerved away and stepped to the side. She took a nearly identical step and stood in front of him again. "You're honing your mind and body into a bright flame of a weapon. It still needs a lot of chiseling, but… Wow. You'll be even better than I expect when you're finished." She faced the wall and gestured to the elegant sword. "I saw you admiring this."
"You've been watching me?"
"I take deep interest in your progress. You're my project in all respects, even if I delegate to some extent. And you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen; I can barely keep my eyes off you. You deserve a reward for that."
"For what?"
"For all your work. For being such a treat to watch. You can have this." She gestured to the sword. "Of course, you can only use it up here. But I'd love to see you practice with it. And eventually, you'll be able to keep it."
"I don't want such a reward."
"Yes, you do. I know you even more now, since I've been observing you."
It creeped him out she'd been watching him. How long? How much had she seen? Did she watch him in the basement too? She had complete control over this place….
"I do like the sword," he admitted, "but it's not worth… doing anything for you."
"As you keep training, our purposes will merge. And we will eventually be in sync."
"If that ever happens, I won't be myself anymore. Will you want me if I'm not myself?"
"That's the thing. I've got to keep up this delicate balance… the risk is part of the fun. Whether you resist and collapse, or bend delightfully—just enough… ambivalent perhaps… but mine." She laid her hand on her heart. "That's where the adventure lies."
"You're crazy."
"I feel a bit crazy. You're the drug that drives me to take more… just remember that."
He was about to turn away, but he reminded himself he had to endure her presence. Not fight or flee… but maneuver subtly. She perhaps would notice less under the influence….
"Well—I've got to get going," said Elena. "I have a meeting to attend. But I'd also like to invite you to our third date. Third dates are traditionally significant."
"It's just a number. Doesn't mean anything in particular."
"Well—it's significant to me. I think we should take our relationship further physically."
"I'm not letting you touch me again."
She laughed softly. "That's your choice. Choice under pressure… that's how agents must always work." She turned away and strode toward the door a little unsteadily. Then she gazed back at him, half-turned, elegantly despite her pregnancy. "You look beautiful all sweaty like that… but I prefer you to be clean for our date. Please take a bath. I'll be off in a couple hours. I expect you to be prepared for me. Find something striking to wear. Get rid of those generic clothes." She turned away and disappeared through the door.
Jason was going to make it hard for her to get her way. He headed toward the elevator to go back down.
"Wait!" said Tamara. She strode after him and swiftly caught up. "You'd better do as she says."
"Just because you're her lapdog doesn't mean I have to be."
"If you don't… she'll punish you. She might punish me."
"I don't care."
"She might… go through people you care about."
He stopped. "She said that?"
"It's how she operates."
"You're hopeless if you defend someone like that."
"If you do the right thing… then nothing bad has to happen."
He shook his head. This place was like a mafia run by a cult leader. Or a crazy miniature country run by a tyrant who was able to get into everyone's heads. Elena was far from the perfect messiah she portrayed herself as. But everyone worshipped the ground she walked on…
Also the system was pretty effective and efficient, he had to admit.
But it had flaws. Everything did.
The question was… how much should he play along to find out what they were… and how much should he resist…
He didn't want to get others hurt, but he also didn't want to cooperate to the letter.
Elena would probably be disappointed if I did, he thought bitterly.
I'll comply in the way I want… and… resist in the way I want… she can't predict or use everything I do.
I'll improvise according to a bare skeleton of a plan. Mainly— finding anything useful. Especially a way out. Perhaps weapons. A way to neutralize monitors, avoid surveillance….
Without getting anyone else hurt or letting her claim me in any way.
Tamara headed to the elevator.
"Where are you going?" Jason asked.
"To get Alelu."
"I'll come with."
She held the door open for him, but as he stepped inside, his monitor zapped him. He stepped back and it stopped.
"I… don't think it'll let you Below," said Tamara. "Perhaps not even Beneath at the moment. Tell you what. I'll meet you in about half an hour at my suite. Then you can take a bath there, if you like, and I can order some clothes for you."
"Sure."
"In the meantime, if you'd like to take advantage of some of our amenities, or buy something with your Swipe, you're welcome to it."
"Thank you."
She let go of the door and waved as the doors closed.
He headed to the snack room and tried his card on one of the vending machines. Sour cream and onion chips spilled into the slot. He set the bag on the table and tried some more—dried apples, apricots, cucumbers, pretzels, and a sandwich. A well-rounded lunch.
Needed a dessert though. He selected a chocolate bar—which reminded him of Connie in a bright flash of keen pain that almost collapsed him.
The chocolate wouldn't drop down though; apparently, he was at the card limit.
Expect to win me over with this?
At the store, he picked out some toys, including a secret agent game for Sasha. He expected the card to be declined, but it went through. He stuffed the items into a large bag himself, since the store was completely automated. He'd been hoping for some time to go to the greenhouse, but the half hour was up. Hopefully he'd have time afterwards.
He found the location of Tamara's suite after figuring out how to use one of the wallscreens, then headed to her room, excited to see Alelu.
Tamara's suite wasn't that far from the store; it was down the first residential hallway, across from the restaurant. Her door was plain, brown wood with a golden room number on it, unlike most of them, which must've been customized.
He knocked. No one answered. He knocked again then set down the shopping bag and leaned against the wall. She probably wasn't back yet.
Suddenly the door opened.
"Come in," said Tamara, sounding a little out of sorts.
He stepped inside. Tamara smiled absently and slid her hand into her hair, ruffling it. Her clothes were rumpled, and she looked distraught.
"What's wrong?"
"I lost her."
"What?"
"I just turned around for a second. I was going to make her some dinner. I thought that'd—help—
"But when I turned back around, she'd disappeared!"
He looked around the room. There weren't many places Alelu could hide; there was a kitchen with a fridge, stove, and small round table. Past the dividing wall was a living room of gray chairs and a white couch and loveseat; the walls were lined with bookshelves.
"I tried looking for her," said Tamara, "but I didn't want to be too obvious about it. She's scared of me enough as it is."
"How did you get her up here?"
"She ran away. I had to get some guards to—"
"You what!"
"Well… it's for her own good."
"You couldn't have just asked her what she wanted?"
"She might not have come. I had to get her away from there."
"I suppose your heart's in the right place, but you should've been more careful. You know what she's gone through."
"I wasn't taking her trauma into account like I should've… I just… don't usually have to think about that side of operations."
"Maybe you should. Then you'd face what's happening. What you've done to Alelu."
She looked indignant. "I haven't done anything—"
"You did rescue her… You just might have to undo some damage. She doesn't know you; she doesn't know why you brought her up here. There's no way for her to know you're not like Lila."
"I defended her."
Jason nodded. "That's a start. But it's… going to take a lot for her to trust you. For one thing—it's women she's more afraid of. Because of what Lila did to her." He walked over to the counter and leaned against it. "Maybe you should involve Elliot. Alelu trusts him most of all. He's almost like a father to her. He will be father to her half-brother…. And if you want him to become the best possible agent, he'll need some good things… space and time away from Elena."
She turned toward him. "He is good with her. It'll be hard to do this alone."
"Are you… going to keep her?"
Tamara nodded. "I think so."
"You'd better be sure. She doesn't need any more uncertainty." Hopefully eventually Alelu would escape… but in the meantime, she'd be safest with a guardian.
"I just don't know if it'll work out if she reacts like this…"
"Make sure she knows she's safe with you. That you'll protect her. That you will never, ever hurt her, especially… try to avoid doing anything that reminds her of… what happened, even if it's innocent. If something triggers a reaction… be patient. Let her know you care about her. Show her what real love means… not what… Elena has done, what others have done… make sure you always keep in mind what she wants. Put her needs above your own. That's what a real parent would do."
Tamara gave him a look of intense consideration. Then she nodded. "So… I should probably just wait for her to come out?"
"That's what I'd do. She trusts me too, so if she hears that I'm here, she might come out. You were making food?"
"I was just starting to…"
"She might not come out till later… make sure you let her know she can take the food she wants. She's learned to be self-sufficient…. So you might live side by side for a while… Let her know she can sleep wherever she's comfortable. And give her her own space." He looked around the room. "Is there another room?"
"Just my bedroom." Tamara gestured to the door beyond the kitchen.
"She probably won't want to sleep there." He looked at the doors on the other side of the room. "What are those?"
"My closet doors."
He headed over to look in them; there were clothes on racks, shelves with neatly stacked boxes—no sign of Alelu. "Maybe you could give her a space here…" He looked in the other section of closet, which was almost bare but spread back into the darkness. "What about this?"
Tamara peered over his shoulder. "I hardly use it… I'll fix it up for her."
"Let her make most of the choices for it."
"Okay. I'll get a bed for her." She pulled the sliding doors further open, letting light in the dusty space. She coughed as dust flew, then the cough turned into a laugh. "I suppose I better clean this first…"
Jason dug in his bag for a stuffed animal. He thought there were probably extras; he'd just grabbed as many toys as he could. He drew out a little cat. "She loves the Cheshire cat… she'll probably love this."
"So she likes cats?" said Tamara, with curiosity. It heartened him to know she was taking an interest in Alelu's preferences.
"I'm still not entirely sure she knows cats are real… she was so disappointed when Elliot told her Alice in Wonderland wasn't real."
"Maybe I should get us a cat."
"You don't mean a tiger, do you?"
Tamara smiled. "No—a real cat. It's funny we don't have any here…"
A rustling noise. First a little hand appeared from under the loveseat. Then Alelu slid out carefully and looked up at Jason. Her eyes lit up when she saw him. "Cats are real?" she said under her breath.
Jason nodded. "Yes… cats are real."
Her eyes widened.
"Tamara might get you one."
Alelu darted over to him and hid in the shadows between him and the table.
"In the meantime, I've got you this." He handed her the gray cat and she hugged it close.
For several hours, he hung out with Alelu and she gradually became more comfortable. Tamara made supper—pasta with pesto and garlic bread. She was quite careful, making sure not to startle Alelu or get too close.
As they ate, they watched a movie with the lights dimmed. Alelu snuggled close to Jason.
But he felt a rising panic… soon Elena would send for him. It could be any moment now.
Perhaps he should just forego any of her instructions… but he did want to take any chance he could to take a shower Above rather than the showers in the dungeon. So he headed into Tamara's bedroom—it was also rather spare and utilitarian, except for a rather startling shrine to Elena against one wall. A smaller version of Elena's portrait that she had in her room, candles around it, little gems arranged next to it. There was also another bookshelf, but otherwise just a bed with a gray cover in the corner.
The bathroom was gray and white too, except the tiles, some of which were subtle blue. The towels were blue as well; a muted, sophisticated place, neat and tidy.
It'll be nice if Tamara can make her suite more kid friendly. She's going to have to be okay with some amount of mess too…
He stepped into the shower and turned it on—it was so pleasant to be in here. Totally his own space, no one invading it…
The water poured over his face like rain, and he immersed in the dream of an alternate present… he was walking with Connie at home, out by the stream where they'd found forget-me-nots…. But by mid-September, they were probably long gone… Goldenrods then. Glorifying the field. We're dancing in the field, and the rain is pouring down, and we're laughing, getting soaked, spinning among the gold and the purple asters… holding each other close…. His forehead against hers… eyes closed but so near he could feel the heat of her skin…
A knock on the door.
He jumped, pressing back against the wall, hugging himself.
He didn't want to leave. He could create a refuge here… they couldn't get to him—
Another knock, more insistent.
"I'm sorry," said Tamara. "They're insisting… it's time for you to go."
Outrage hit him. He couldn't even have this moment to himself. He considered staying in here until they dragged him out… but that would be a rather ignominious exit…
He grabbed the towel from the top edge of the shower stall. Dried himself off then wrapped the towel around his waist. He stepped out and looked for the clothes he'd been wearing, but they were gone.
He cracked the door open. "Tamara—do you have anything for me to wear?"
There were male voices coming from the other room. His heart drummed hard—he hoped they hadn't scared Alelu or hurt her.
Tamara appeared within his realm of vision. "They sent something in. It's on the bed for you." Then, looking rather sad, she slid back out, the bedroom door clicking behind her.
On the bed was a black streak of fabric. He picked it up; it was rather loose, flowy pants made out of silk, the sides etched with an abstract silvery design.
He looked around for a shirt.
There wasn't one.
Heat flashed down his skin. She was trying to take his human dignity, piece by piece…
He wouldn't let her.
Perhaps he should find a shirt… but he doubted Tamara had one for a man. And he wasn't going to wear a women's shirt… what Elena would have to say about that!
He straightened his shoulders, wrapping his own dignity around himself, and stepped out.
Gleb and Kent grabbed him roughly.
"Let's go," said Gleb.
Alelu was nowhere to be seen. She'd probably hidden as soon as she'd seen the door open.
He hardly had time to see Tamara's stricken face before he was rushed out the door and forced down the hallway, almost carried by the guards.
"It's urgent," said Gleb.
"She won't be kept waiting!" said Kent.
"What's so urgent?" said Jason.
"She doesn't like to be kept waiting!" said Kent, looking at him as if it were the stupidest question he'd ever heard.
They took a pathway between halls and passed Ali's room then another passage to the first hallway.
Elena's doorway, resplendent with its war and feast.
His heart collapsed as they shoved him inside.