Friends and Lovers
Ssj_hotaru
Chapter Five
Sora turned her face away and hoped the shadows hid her expression as well as they hid his. Despite his warmth pressing down on her she shuddered with the force of her humiliation. The sobs she stifled escaped in a high pitched keen as she strived not to break down completely. She twisted as much as she could, burying herself in the detritus of the forest floor in the futile hope of hiding her shame.
He cursed and she cringed away from the sudden harshness of his voice.
Why had he come after her in the first place- did he enjoy humiliating her? Did he really hate her so much?
Her chest constricted with the pain her thoughts inflicted, but with the pain came resentment, and resentment brought the soothing heat of anger. Smoldering, her crying slowed to sniffles as she regained a tenuous hold on her emotions.
Why was he even here? Why couldn't he just leave her alone?
"Jesus Sora," He said, "Calm down."
Calm down? Her eyes popped open and rage -hot and quick- shot through her like a flash of lightning, burning every meek, self-pitying thought inside her. What right did he have to tell her to calm down! She turned her head to sear him with her narrowed gaze.
"What's your problem?" He snapped at her, his own eyes narrowing as they met hers.
Her problem..! Fury gave her fierce desperation where panic had failed her and she fought with renewed energy. She bucked her hips and twisted beneath him, even tried to bite at him, sinking her teeth hard into his shoulder. His startled yelp was her only victory as nothing succeeded in moving him and she collapsed back, gasping and unable to take a complete breath with his weight bearing down on her.
Denied her escape, she settled on glaring her impotent rage and this time she hoped he had a good clear view of her expression. She was so mad she could spit... which gave her a great idea. She hauled back and wrinkled her nose in preparation.
He seemed to read her intention as soon as it occurred to her and quickly transferred her two hands to one grip above her head to cover her mouth with his newly freed hand. Foiled, she practically vibrated with rage as she was forced to swallow her attack and she glared furiously into his smug face.
She suddenly remembered a strategy she'd used as a child and opened her mouth, tracing her tongue along the lines of his palm. The sensation was different than she expected and the salty taste of his skin sent a guilty thrill coursing through her. He snatched his hand away from her face as if he'd been burned.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He repeated, genuinely bewildered.
"You!" She spat the answer at him without hesitation.
His eyebrows rose in surprise, but he nodded thoughtfully. "Fair enough."
He braced himself with his free hand and eased up onto an elbow, relieving some of the weight crushing her into the ground. She forgot to glare as she gratefully sucked in deep lung fulls of air.
"Are you going to get off me?" she asked, after she caught her breath, her voice dripping with disgust as she lay perfectly still beneath him. He cocked his head to the side and even in the shadows she could sense his sardonic smirk.
"That depends, are you going to run half naked into the woods if I do?"
When he said it like that it made her feel ridiculous. She shot him what she hoped was a withering look to hide the embarrassment which threatened to consume her. "Why would I do something that stupid?" Her acerbic response got her a chuckle.
"Why indeed." He agreed, grinning.
Slowly he leaned back onto his knees before he released her and quickly brought his hands up, fingers splayed beside his face. A sign of peace or just ready to subdue her again if she attacked? Probably a little of both she figured, eyeing his crooked smile suspiciously.
She considered trying to bolt again as soon as she was sure of her freedom, but now that he had pointed it out she was reminded of her clothing, or rather lack of it. He'd probably just tackle her again anyways, she reasoned. Resentfully she remained on the ground, but she sat up and pulled her knees to her chest for warmth. She refused to admit how chilly the night suddenly felt.
"What do you care what I do anyway?" She spat. Humiliated and cold she was unwilling to relinquish the anger which had sustained her. Lurking beneath her temper was all the hurt she just wasn't ready to deal with.
"I don't," he said and she was surprised to hear the bitterness return to his voice. "But everyone would blame me. They always do."
That caught her off guard and she gaped at him. Their friends blamed him? She didn't understand, she'd been so careful to avoid talking about him or appearing too interested when others did... And then it clicked. Her stomach sank as the realization settled in and her heart began to pound wildly. She tried to remember the last time anyone had mentioned anything involving Matt and she drew a blank. It had been too long- possibly even... years? She'd been too careful, inadvertently giving herself away. Everyone knew, or at least suspected, he was somehow the reason she'd left.
Now she knew why he hated her. To have his friends look at him with accusation every time she declined a reunion or holiday invite... every empty seat they'd saved for her must have been an unwelcome reminder that he had done something so unforgivable she was still running away. They must have wondered what could possibly be so horrible.
Unrequited love didn't seem so awful as all that, and yet, even now as she looked at his silhouette framed in the moonlight she felt herself breaking apart.
Had they guessed? Her hands started to shake and she hugged her knees tighter. Did they know?
"Hey, you're not going to lose it again are you?" He asked wearily. Sora stiffened at his tone and resumed her glare, practically growling as her anger, momentarily forgotten, returned in full force. He chuckled. "That's more like it."
He stood and arched his back in a quick stretch, his shadowy form towering over her where she huddled on the ground. He reached toward her, but instead of offering his hand for her to reject he grasped her arm above the elbow and hauled her stumbling to her feet. His strong fingers burned like a brand, searing against her skin and setting her nerves to tingling. He pulled her against him, her body bumping up against his. She shivered involuntarily at the contact.
"You're cold." He said, surprised. It was a statement, not a question and without hesitating he grabbed the neck of his shirt and pulled it over his head, exposing his bare chest.
Her cheeks heated as she quickly dropped her eyes. She was once again grateful to the moon for it's pale glow as she struggled to calm her frantic pulse. Warmth radiated from his skin and she was so close she could wrap her arms around him. The desire to do just that set her limbs to shaking again. To feel his skin pressed against hers... she could reach out and run her hands over his stomach, trace the line of the muscles up to his chest... Her breath hitched and her mouth went dry.
He pulled his shirt down over her head without warning, shocking her out of her runaway desires. She slipped her arms through the sleeves automatically and frowned at him. "You don't have to dress me like a child." She snapped, offended, but at the same time grateful he'd interrupted her thoughts before she made an even bigger fool of herself.
On her his shirt fell to mid-thigh and hung shapeless from her figure. Despite the butterflies fluttering around in her stomach she was immediately relieved to cover the too small-too revealing nightgown. The cloth was still warm from his body and smelled of him. Surreptitiously she inhaled deeply, savoring the scent. She peeked up at him shyly, afraid he could see how much she enjoyed wearing his shirt.
The stricken look on his face drove out all hint of self-consciousness. She reached out in alarm and placed a cool hand against his chest.
"Are you okay?" She asked, genuinely concerned. Had she managed to hurt him in their scuffle? She frowned, trying to remember. He hadn't acted like he'd been injured at the time.
He seemed to shake himself before grasping her hand where it touched him, giving it an unexpected squeeze.
"Come with me," he said, lacing his fingers through hers and pulling her back toward the trail. "Let's get you somewhere warm."
She followed willingly as he led them back toward the house and she walked behind him quietly, torn. On the one hand she was reluctant to leave herself open to more cruelty and rejection. She had already proven her self-control couldn't be trusted. But on the other hand was, well, his hand... His fingers were warm and strong between hers and she thrilled to his touch. She craved him like an addict, every cell in her body yearning for him. Her heart beat faster, pumping hot blood through her until the cold air was almost soothing.
If he led the way she would gladly follow him to purgatory.
A warm place where they could be alone? Her self-preservation didn't stand a chance.
They walked along the trail in silence as it wove in and out of the trees around the lake. Her hand felt very small grasped in his as he led them, the shining water to one side, the deep shadows of the forest on the other, and the moon riding high overhead. She fancied they could be the last people surviving in a world of eternal night and smiled. A lifetime alone with Matt? Yes please.
With every step it was becoming increasingly difficult to hang on to her anger, his fingers laced through hers threatened to lull her into a false sense of belonging, the little bubble of hope inside of her filling with warmth. She struggled to crush it, to hold on to her resentment.
"So what were you doing out so late?" Sora asked when the silence and the persistent warmth of his hand threatened to undo her.
Matt glanced back at her, his eyebrows raised at her accusing tone.
"I could ask you the same thing." He pointed out, "Isn't it a little cold for a midnight swim?" Then he paused, as if an idea had just occurred to him, "Unless you were expecting someone to join you."
She gritted her teeth. Staying angry at him wasn't so hard after all, she mused, glowering at the back of his head. His fingers tightened on hers, continuing to pull her forward as the silhouette of the lake house loomed ahead of them, a shadow in the moonlight.
Before she could think of a clever response, pain -sharp and sudden- lanced through her foot and she stumbled. Crying out in surprise, her hand was yanked from his grip as she fell to her knees.
"What happened?" Matt was at her side instantly, his arm slipping around her waist and pulling her up against him. Her heart fluttered and her muscles turned to jelly as she leaned into his solid mass, balancing her weight on one foot. "What's wrong?"
"It's okay," She assured him. "I just stepped on something sharp." She tried to pull away, irritated with herself, but he kept his arm loosely around her while she tentatively returned her foot to the ground. As soon as she added weight pain shot up her heel and she grabbed his arm for balance.
"Let me see." He said and knelt before she could object. Released suddenly, she teetered and was forced to rest her hands on his bare shoulders to keep from falling backwards onto the trail as he cradled her ankle in his warm hands for inspection. Heat rushed through her and she tried in vain to tug her foot away.
"You don't have to do that." She started awkwardly, her voice strangely breathy. His fingers were firm as they gripped her ankle, wreaking havoc on her senses. His muscled shoulders shifted under her grip as he began to rub his thumb against the ball of her foot in a circular motion. Her breathing hitched at the unexpected sensation and she tried again to jerk free.
"Stop moving." He snapped. The pleasure of his hands on her drove out any thought of the pain he was searching for as a low pulse started to throb inside of her. She trembled with the effort to control her reaction as he continued to rub her foot, moving down to her arch and then lower, probing gently.
And then pain blossomed suddenly, driving out all thoughts of desire as his thumb pressed against her heel. She sucked in a quick breath and tried to remain still while he poked at the area before releasing her foot reluctantly. He stood; grabbing her arm when she was once again teetering off balance.
"Looks like whatever you stepped on is still in there." He said, looking down at her. "Why are you running around without shoes on anyways?"
She bristled at his tone.
"I didn't plan on running around." She snapped. She balanced her weight carefully on the ball of her injured foot and wrenched her arm from his grasp.
He released her without resistance and Sora stumbled backwards, surprised and overbalanced. Her arms flailed wildly before she sat down hard in the damp grass beside the trail. Dumbfounded, she watched as Matt casually slipped his hands into his pockets and stared down at her, expression cool as he cocked an eyebrow.
She felt something uncontrollable bubble up within her and her lips trembled as she fought a losing battle to hold it in. She bowed her head where she sat and her body shook with the force of her laughter. Her stomach ached and tears welled as she realized how very ridiculous her entire nigh -no her entire LIFE- was.
After the worst of her mirth had passed she straightened to see that Matt was still staring down at her, but his expression had warmed and a smile hovered at the corners of his mouth.
Still giggling, she wiped the moisture from her eyes and held out her hands. Wordlessly he took them in his and the warm bubble inside her swelled as he pulled her to her feet.
She felt cleansed. The laughter had purged her of her turmoil, if only temporarily. Anger. Despair. Shame. She'd been so battered and lost in a storm of emotions that she was nearly giddy at their absence. She simply stood before him, her hands clasped in his, smiling foolishly. Despite the depths of passion he stirred in her; the anguish of adolescent yearning, the agony of unrequited love, the miasma of mortification... it just felt right to touch him. As if her blood was singing with life. She felt alive.
"Are you done being ridiculous?" He asked, arching his eyebrows. She laughed.
"I think so- for now at least." He nodded, his hands tightening on hers.
"Good." He yanked her to him before she could resist and swept her up in his arms with one smooth motion.