Friends and Lovers
Ssj_hotaru
Chapter Six
"What are you doing?" She practically squealed, her voice embarrassingly shrill. Instinctively she flung her arms around his neck to steady herself as he cradled her against his chest.
His very bare chest.
Her skin grew painfully hot at the realization and she knew she must be glowing red even by moonlight. All too aware of the branding heat of his hand on the underside of her bare thigh, she could barely control her panicked struggling. "Put me down!"
"I thought you were done being ridiculous?" His eyes as they met hers danced with humor and his arms tightened around her. His face was so close his breath set the fine hairs to tickling her cheek and caused her own breath to come in frantic bursts. Her heart beat rapidly, increasing in tempo until it felt as though it would break free of her chest.
"You're the one being ridiculous." She said, striving to keep the hysteria from her voice as he began to walk. "Put me down!"
"You can barely stand." He pointed out reasonably, his eyes sweeping down her bare legs for emphasis before returning to meet hers. "And you're not even wearing shoes... or much else." Her cheeks burned and she looked away, unable to hold his gaze.
"But I can walk." She mumbled for the sake of protest. Her new found euphoria had swept away the defenses she'd built with resentment and anger and more than anything she wanted to melt into his strength. She tightened her hold on his neck, clinging to him despite her objections, savoring the feel of his arms around her.
He snorted and kept walking.
With guilty pleasure Sora admitted defeat, giving in to the temptation to melt into him and lay her cheek against his shoulder. Just for this moment, after all her foot really did hurt...
Even so her pride still stung at her easy surrender. She really should put up more of a fight- insist on limping along behind him instead of torturing herself this way, but his warmth and her own desire to touch him seduced her. Logic demanded she break free. Indulging her unrequited infatuation could only lead to heartache and sorrow. How much self loathing would she endure before she exercised this demon?
Much much more. She determined. His scent surrounded her and she closed her eyes, inhaling deeply, savoring it as she oh-so-naturally curled her fingers through the long hairs at his nape. She was amazed to discover how much she missed the smell of him. It settled inside her, easing an ache so chronic the relief brought it's own kind of pain.
Memories of their youth came back to her- brief flashes of moments like this lost in time. Moments when she could have just reached out and pulled him to her. How different their lives could have been if she'd simply been bold enough to go after what she wanted. Instead she always held back- afraid of destroying what little of him she already had.
Maybe he could have loved her if she'd given him the chance.
Maybe if she'd bared her soul to his rejection all those years ago she could have moved on.
Maybe this moment wouldn't be a double edged blade- stabbing at her heart with such sweet agony...
So lost in thought was she that she was startled and genuinely disappointed when he climbed the steps to the back deck. Their moment together was coming to an end.
They slipped into the dark house, seeing through the shadows only by the pale glow of the moon streaming through the windows. His footsteps echoed shockingly loud on the hard wooden floor as he crossed the room.
He bent to deposit her gently on the couch and her heart ached in protest.
Reluctantly she released her hold around his neck and the cold rushed in to fill the void when he stepped back. She wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the sudden chill of his absence and settled into the corner of the sectional. Feeling more than a little bereft, she looked up at him standing over her, his eyes shining in the moonlight.
"Cold?" He asked, making her aware of how tightly she was hugging herself. She nodded, suddenly shy.
Her eyes followed him as he turned away from her and disappeared down the hall towards the entry way.
Why is he being so nice? She wondered, her good sense reasserting itself now that he was no longer in the room to distract her. She idly scanned the shadows, her ears straining for the sound of his footsteps returning while she tried to make sense of the nights events.
When he'd tackled her she'd been devastated by his cruelty. She remembered her invitation and shuddered in mortification. He'd been utterly disgusted by her. He hadn't had a kind word for her since she slipped off her car and into his arms. He had, in fact, made it clear she was completely unwelcome.
So why was he being nice now?
It was easy to see he resented her. Sora pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin, careful of her injured heel. She'd been stupid to assume the others wouldn't make the connection. Just thinking about it she realized it was painfully obvious to anyone paying attention that she was avoiding Matt. There was only the one conclusion they could have drawn and it logically cast him as the villain.
So why the sudden change of heart?
Or had it changed?
She didn't know. Was he really being nice to her or was she just clouded by her hopeless infatuation- making too much of a few flashes of humor that didn't mean anything.
His footsteps grew louder and she watched his shadowy form warily as he reentered the room.
"Here," he said, dropping a folded throw on to the couch beside her. "I found this in the office."
She reached for it gratefully, eager to have something more substantial to cover herself with than his shirt and her sheer nightgown, but froze when he clicked on a lamp beside the couch.
In the soft glow she was once again struck dumb by the sight of him. His golden hair tumbled in shaggy spikes around his face, obscuring eyes the color of a midnight sky and just as mysterious. She flushed as she took in the muscles of his bare chest, she couldn't help it. He looked as though he could have walked off the pages of an advertisement. His broad shoulders tapered in a perfect V to his narrow waist where his jeans hung low on his hips.
He joined her on the couch, putting an end to her tactless gawking and taking up far more space than she would have imagined possible. His muscular frame was surprisingly large as he trapped her against the corner of the sectional. His arm brushed her bare knees, sending shock waves of awareness that crackled along her skin and arced between them. Sora's heart began to pound wildly.
Why was he sitting so close?
"What-" are you doing? She was going to ask, but he reached to pull her legs across his lap and she choked on the rest of the question. Instinctively she jerked free of him and then cried out when she jarred her injured foot, earning herself a dramatic eye roll and an exasperated breath that blew the long blond spikes out of his eyes.
He waggled a first aid kit at her. She hadn't seen it at first, but obviously he'd acquired it at the same time as the throw. "Do you want my help or not?" He asked.
The answer should have been simple, but it was several moments before she reluctantly allowed him to reclaim her foot.
She was touched by his unexpected thoughtfulness, but still suspicious and she watched him surreptitiously through her lashes as she sat hugging the soft blanket to her chest.
She jumped a bit when he propped the cold plastic case on her shins and he rummaged through the contents until he came up with tweezers., She couldn't stand to watch and so instead she focused on him, noting the familiar tilt of his head while he gently lifted her foot to the light. She'd spent many a night secretly admiring him by lamplight while he concentrated, adoring every unconscious movement, no matter how subtle. It was an odd feeling now to see the boy she'd loved in the stranger he had become. The thought nearly broke her heart anew.
Is that what he saw when he looked at her? Was she a stranger with a friend's face...
"Ow!" The pain of his prodding shattered her thoughts and she nearly jerked away from him again. "That hurt." She accused. He offered an unapologetic half smile in response and held up his prize for inspection.
"Got it." He said, a note of smug triumph as the light glinted off a sliver of green glass seized in the tweezers, no bigger than her smallest finger nail. She shuddered and made to pull away.
"Not so fast." He said when she tried to bend her knees back. He placed a hand on her thigh to hold her in place and she nearly forgot to breathe. Her heart skipped a beat as she forced her lungs to draw a shaky breath.
Dear God he needed to stop touching her or her reaction to him would be her undoing.
"What now?" She snapped, her nerves giving her voice a sharper edge than she'd intended. She cringed inwardly. Damn it! she cursed as she saw his face tighten in response to her tone, he was only just starting to be nice to her.
"You're still bleeding." He pointed out. She looked and with a shock of horror realized she was indeed bleeding and his jeans were stained with rusty smears.
"Oh no." Her heart sank and she raised contrite eyes to meet his icy blue ones. "Oh Matt, I'm so sorry. I've ruined your pants."
A genuine smile flashed suddenly across his face, transforming it in a way that took her breath away; and he chuckled. "Just like a girl to worry about clothes." he said, shaking his head while he sifted through the kit to pull out wipes, ointment, and band-aids.
"I can still get it out before it sets." She assured him, thinking fast. "I just need to find meat tenderizer... or peroxide. I'm sure there's some in the bathroom." She sat up straighter to begin her search and he absently pushed her back down.
"Just sit still okay? It's fine."
"But-" She began to protest, but he cut her off.
"Want my pants off that bad huh?" He asked softly, slanting a look at her from beneath the mess of golden hair obscuring his eyes.
She froze, her body going first deathly cold. Did he know? Her mouth went dry with fear, and then heat sizzled along her skin, telling her she must be blushing furiously. Or actually on fire. It was hard to tell because the mental image he'd conjured set her blood to racing.
She held his look, her own eyes widening. Did he suspect how much she ached to touch him? To taste him? To claim every inch of him until he was hers. She began to tremble as the full force of her physical desire reared up within her and threatened to wrest control of her good sense.
They sat in silence as each second flowed into the next. Her pulse throbbed and the tension stretched between them until it was nearly unbearable. Surely this couldn't be one sided...
"Jesus Sora it was a joke." Matt said finally, dropping his eyes back to her foot as he unfolded an alcohol wipe. "You don't have to look so terrified okay? You're like the last person I'd take my pants off for."
His words stung more than the alcohol and cooled her rampant hormones faster than any bucket of ice water.
The last person... For a moment she felt hollowed out, as if a hole had opened up inside of her, hemorrhaging her soul. Then her temper sparked -catching fire- and where she'd trembled with need only moments before she now shook with rage. She'd gone and made a fool of herself once again and she desperately needed to escape before she lost all control and murdered him.
The last person... She was not a vain woman, but she had worked hard to leave the insecure little girl she'd been in the past. She knew with hard earned confidence that she was not unattractive. In fact, as a slim and athletic red head with large brown eyes and creamy unblemished skin she knew that she was definitely not unattractive.
The last person... So what the hell was that suppose to mean? Was he playing a game with her or did he really find her so repulsive? Anger and embarrassment and frustrated desire simmered inside her, building to an inferno. He ducked his head and avoided her burning gaze as he continued to tend to her injury.
She jerked away from him as soon as he smoothed the band-aid over her heel. "Are you done playing doctor?" She asked him acidly, swinging her legs off the couch to stand.
"Is that what you like?" He asked, his own voice cool and mocking as he stood beside her. "Playing doctor."
That was it.
She didn't understand what he was insinuating with his tone, but she understood the look of contempt as their eyes met and the fragile hold she had on her temper snapped like a twig. With a cry of fury she flew at him.
She saw the shock on his face as her fist connected with his jaw and in her rage she felt the pain of impact with satisfaction. It was short lived however as he caught her second punch by the wrist and hauled her into his arms, crushing her against his chest in a bear hug that lifted her onto her toes.
"Let me go!" she hissed at him, glaring into his face only inches from hers.
"But you just want to hit me again." He said and the humor in his voice caused her to see red.
"Yes!" She agreed, and then went for him with her teeth.
"Oh no you don't." He said, laughing. "I've had enough of your love bites." He dodged her attack easily enough, but she was able to free her hands from her sides and bring them to his chest.
"I hate you!" She spat and shoved at him, but she may as well have shoved a brick wall for the good it did. His expression softened as he looked into her eyes and his lips twitched into the crooked smile she couldn't help but love, even as she tried to do him harm.
"See that's the problem." He said quietly, "I don't hate you."
He bent his head and brushed his lips over hers.
Author's Note:
Sorry new chapters are taking longer than usual. Unfortunately I lost my home in the Erskine Creek fire which raged through my small community in Southern California. I was not home at the time so everything was lost.
I already take longer than most to update because I write out of sequence. Writing scenes or even most of chapters further in the story and then returning to earlier chapters once I know where it's going. Everything except what was posted here is lost.
It's just a set back though. Believe me I mourn the loss of my laptop and notebooks deeply, but new chapters will be coming after all the issues with insurance and being homeless are cleared up :)
Thank you everyone for your patience and I apologize for the set backs.
Updated Author's Note:
As many of you know from my last uploaded chapter, I became homeless in 2016 after my house and everything I owned was destroyed in a Southern California wild fire. I feel like whole towns being wiped out by California fires are old news these days, but it was pretty devastating to me.
So much has happened since the fire; that was only the beginning of a wave of disasters that rocked the foundations on which I was attempting to rebuild my life and even though it has been two years - TWO WHOLE YEARS where did the time go?!- I'm only just getting back on my feet. 2016-2017 Was just about keeping my head down and making it from one day to the next day until I finally realized nothing was ever going to get better where I was.
So I packed everything I owned and moved across the country.
I live in Western New York now! I've finally gotten myself a little laptop so I can start updating my stories again. I have been hoarding folded pages of scribbled on paper like a crazy human. I've been keeping it for just such a day when I can sit down and bring them all to life.
Writing again has been a struggle, for awhile every time I sat down to write all I could think of was what was lost. As is my MO I went back and edited the chapters I had already completed, but I'm well aware how much my lovely readers hate when I change things so I will not be uploading those changes. Keeping that in mind -Please forgive any continuity errors and just know they tie in to what I have rewritten and once the story is complete the edited version will be made available- but for now I will not be asking anyone to reread what they already know and love.
Now I also wanted to let you know that even though chapters to Friends and Lovers have been completed I will not be updating them because I received some excellent and much needed advice.
As creators we should not be sharing anything that hasn't been completed. Sharing unfinished projects gives the same rush and sense of accomplishment as having completed the project, which means there is no longer the drive to keep creating. I never thought of this, but I find it to be very true. So for now- I will continue writing, but the next chapters will not be posted until I have powered through to the end of the story. Then they will be posted as they are edited and proofread.
And don't worry, I now use a new writing program that backs everything up online and can be accessed from any device I download the program on to. Look at me learning!
Thank you all so much for your love, support, and as always your patience.
- my love. Ssj_hotaru