Friends and Lovers
Chapter Nine
Sora blinked at the morning light where it fell in bright bars across the floor of the unfamiliar room. Out of habit she reached over, her fingers searching the empty surface of the nightstand before she remembered that she'd last seen her phone lying broken and useless inside her equally broken and useless car. She sighed and left her hand to dangle off the side of the bed.
She couldn't remember the last time she didn't have a cell phone. She couldn't remember the last time she'd greeted the day without the jarring sound of her alarm. Once the initial panic and confusion faded, she had to admit it was kind of nice. What time was it? She wondered, almost giddy at the luxury of an unstructured day, because it didn't matter, she had no where to be! She turned over and arched her back in a deep stretch, pushing the blankets down to savor the warmth of the sun on her skin.
Little by little the previous nights details filtered in like the details of a dream and warmth suffused her. In the bight light from the windows it seemed more fantasy than reality. She looked down and smiled. If it weren't for the fact she still wore his shirt it could all have been a dream. She pressed her fingers to her lips in disbelief even as she acknowledged the truth.
Matt had kissed her.
Her mouth stretched into a bigger smile behind her fingers and she couldn't help the uncharacteristic squeal that escaped. Matt had kissed her!
The kiss hadn't been earth shattering by any means. In fact if she wanted to compare it to the years of fantasies and daydreams she'd stockpiled she might even call it disappointing. Even so - butterflies still danced in her stomach. She laughed at herself. Her reaction must have been pure shock. Even though it hadn't lived up to her adolescent expectations she couldn't help the anticipation coursing through her veins at the thought of their next kiss.
She remembered the look in his eyes and her pulse quickened. There would definitely be a next kiss.
She dropped her hands and pressed them to her chest, willing her fluttering heart to settle. If she didn't think of something else she was in danger of becoming a starry-eyed mess of a human and it was just too damned early for that! She could hardly lay in bed mooning over him like a teenager all day.
With a resigned sigh she swung her legs over the side of the bed.
Pulling the shirt over her head she pressed it to her face, inhaling his scent one more time before tossing it back on the now empty bed. She'd have to worry about the logistics of returning the shirt later.
Crossing to the bathroom she opened the door, surprised to see a second door ajar on the opposite wall. Conscious of her sheer nightgown she moved to close it before anyone else might enter.
She'd meant only to push the door closed, but curiosity got the better of her when her eyes caught the edge of an unmade bed. She remembered what Taichi said during his impromptu tour and could have smacked herself upside her own head. Thankfully it didn't seem anyone was around. She pulled the door open a little wider and stepped partially into the room.
The first bed was vacant with the blankets tossed half on the floor as though the occupant had leapt from it with childish excitement. Taichi She thought smiling, no one else would wake up with that much enthusiasm.
Her eyes moved on and she stilled, the jolt of surprise punching her in the gut. The second bed was not vacant.
She spied the tousled mop of golden hair first and her heart tightened in her chest. He slept on his side with his back to her, the blanket twisted as though he'd tossed and turned in his sleep. Only a few steps separated them, Sora realized, and she immediately stopped herself from taking them.
Flustered, she stumbled backwards and closed the door a little too hard. All too aware of the slumbering presence on the other side she punched the button lock before she could do anything she might regret. Dear God she was in trouble! Sighing she turned and leaned back against the door.
This didn't make any sense she thought in desperate frustration. They were both completely different people now, she shouldn't feel like this!
They were very nearly strangers! She knew next to nothing about him. He had years of life experience she was not a part of- had in fact refused to be a part of. Yet here she was still obsessed with the teenager she saw inside the man he'd become.
She'd meant the thought to temper her chaotic emotions, but it only excited her more.
They'd been friends since they were kids and being so close was as much a curse to her as it had been a blessing. While he would never have noticed her otherwise, their relationship as friends was stablished long before she knew she wanted more.
If she hadn't left he never could have seen her as anything more. She smiled even as the memories tore at her heart. He'd said she was practically a sister to him.
A thought occurred to her. Her original fantasy of showing Matt a new Sora he could never see as a sister… was it possible? In all her daydreaming she had never imagined he would change so much as well.
And so here they were with a rare opportunity to start over. A chance to get to know each other again as if for the first time. If she were to seized this second chance, and she very much wanted to, then she needed to let go of the obsession she'd clung to for years.
Easier said than done she thought, pushing away from the door.
She prepared the shower, her thoughts on the way he'd smiled at her last night. The mocking smirk and stirred her temper to the gentle upturn of his lips that softened his eyes and stirred… other emotions. She had a weakness for his smiles. She stepped under the onslaught of water only a hair cooler than scalding and remembered his hands pinning her down- remembered his weight crushing her to the ground. She remembered the very adult look in his eyes after their too brief kiss. She had a weakness for his touch as well.
A heavy warmth settled inside her that had nothing to do with the temperature of the water.
She assumed these reactions… these weaknesses… were left over from her infatuation. She hadn't seen him in years so what else could it be? Her feelings as a kid had been fueled almost entirely by daydreams of handholding and gentle kisses. She smiled at her innocence, even as a teenager she'd lacked the experience to long for more than a fairy tale kind of romance.
These feelings were undoubtedly enhanced by her longstanding crush on him, but they belonged entirely to adult Sora with her adult experience… and her fantasy this morning most definitely did not include the lanky teen she'd known.
She languished under the water until it ran cool, savoring the freedom to allow her mind to linger on Matt. She'd been forcing him out of her thoughts since the day she fled the school and it felt strangely wonderful to let them be. As if she'd been drowning and could finally gulp for air.
She suspected she'd been drowning for awhile now.
It began with Matt, but was quickly followed by her mother's death. The inherited responsibility for the flower shop with the various charities and organizations that came with it was a lot to handle on it's own, but on top of her day job as a personal trainer she also struggled with her own fledgling attempt at a career. There had really been no time to remember to breathe.
To be in the middle of nowhere without even a cell phone… the relief was a physical weight that washed from her.
The cooling water finally drove her from the shower and she wrapped a towel around herself before unlocking the bathroom door. She paused, hearing the unmistakable sounds of stirring on the other side. For a moment she was tempted, but she rejected the idea even as it came to her and she hurried to her borrowed bedroom in search of clothes.
Door securely closed behind her she emptied the contents of her packed bags onto the bed and cursed Past Sora There was not one article of practical clothing in the entire pile!
Save, perhaps, for the bikini she thought remembering her attempt at a midnight swim. It might be in her best interest to wear it proactively. Setting that aside she looked over the small mountain of clothes and finally chose a loose fitting dress that fell to her knees… the most casual article she'd managed to pack, but still more dressed up than she should be. Of course she'd packed everything with the idea of impressing her imaginary Matt, but everyone would know immediately she'd dressed for someone. The idea made her guts twist.
Short of wearing nothing however, she had no other choice but to live with the packing mistakes of Past Sora.
The real tragedy was shoes. Flinching, she surveyed the selection of heels scattered across the bed while consciously putting weight on her injured foot The pain was no longer a sharp bite, but it was there, a dull ache that bloomed when she stepped directly on it. It would hurt like hell no matter which shoes she chose. She shook her head and turned away. No reason to begin the torture earlier than absolutely necessary.
She heard the shower come on and glanced back at the bathroom door with humor. She hoped he would forgive her for using up all the hot water. The image of Matt stepping under the freezing water forced her to stifled a laugh as she left the relative comfort of her borrowed bedroom. She thought about her own steamy shower and after the events of last night it was probably best that one of them cooled down.
Damp hair brushing against her collar she descended the stairs one step at a time, careful to keep her weight balanced on the ball of her injured foot. She could hear their happy chatter from where they were all seated on the couch below and a feeling swelled up within her that she hadn't felt in a long time.
Home. She realized as Taichi spotted her from his seat beside Izzy and waved to her with both hands. These people felt like home.