Conrad:
I burst through the doors of Finch University with a racing heart and flowers in my hand. I had done 80 all the way from Cousin's but lost time searching for a parking spot. I walk in right as the graduation ceremony begins and I settle for an open seat at the top.
I search for her in the sea of caps and gowns with no luck. I contemplated what I would say to her. It had been years since they had been in the same room. There was so much he wanted to say but he knew it wasn't the right place or time to rehash the past. "Good things come to those who wait, Connie" Susannah used to tap his nose and say. He would wait. She was worth it.
Hours pass and students line up to receive their diplomas. He waits for one name to be called and looks down at the flowers in his hand from Susannah's garden. He reads the small note and closes his eyes. It was times like this he desperately missed her. She always knew what to do, what to say, how to make everything right again.
Give me a sign, mom. I need you.
"Isabel Conklin."
The world stops and he opens his eyes, lifting his head.
And there she was. His girl. Isabel Susannah Conklin. Shining as bright as the moon and stars in a white dress under her Finch blue cap and gown.
Belly accepts her diploma with ease and poses for a photo with the Dean.
God, how long had it been since he'd seen that smile?
To this day, Belly had the prettiest smile he had ever seen. A smile that lit up every room. He felt a familiar pain in his chest as he watched her. It occurs to him that once again Belly had grown up when he wasn't looking. Gone were the days of her begging for a glass unicorn and mickey mouse pancakes on birthdays. Now she was a college graduate. A woman. He felt a strange mix of emotions as he watched her wave at Laurel and Steven who were cheering her on as she walked off the stage. She looked happy. Belly was happy.
Would it all fade when she saw him?
I'm a foot away from her and her back is to me. I take my time approaching her, letting her soak in one of the biggest days of her life. She looked so beautiful. It was unreal to be this close to her and I let out a breath as I slowly closed the distance between us.
Here goes nothing. Shoot your shot.
"Connie! You made it!"
Laurel spots me and walks past Belly with open arms. She hugs me then cups my face in her hands the way she had done since I was a baby. I smile at her warm welcome and greet her then look at Belly.
Belly is competely turned around in shock. Our eyes whisper 'hello' before our mouths do.
"Congratulations, graduate." I say to my girl.
"Conrad." She blinks in disbelief. "You made it."
"I couldn't miss another Conklin graduation." I smirk then hand her the flowers. "These are yours. From all of us."
Belly's hand brushes mine as she reaches for the flowers and it takes everything in me to move my hand away. She grins at them then at me.
"Thank you." She smiles and it melts me.
I'd forgotten other people were in the room with us when Laurel asks, "Are you alone?"
"Jere's coming down for the weekend." I nod. "Adam's on a flight to London."
"Conrad!" Steven grins, walking up. "It's about time you take a break from med school. You know you've really neglected me, man." We both laugh and pat each other's backs in a hug.
It felt good to be with the Conklins. Sometimes it felt like they were the only family he had left besides Jeremiah.
I catch up with Laurel and Steven, feeling her eyes on me the entire time. I sneak a few looks at her when she isn't looking. She looked all grown up. Different yet the same. She was finding her place in this big world and he wanted nothing more than to have that place be right next to him. He felt a familiar pain in his chest for her. The kind that never goes away no matter how much time has passed.
"Good things come to those who wait, Connie." his mother's words echoed in his mind.
It never truly hit me how magical our childhood summers had been until we lost the source of the magic: my mom. It was like the sunshine had been sucked out of holidays, parties, birthdays, all of it. It was as if the magic had died with her but today as I posed for a picture with Steven, Taylor, and Belly I felt the magic again. I wrapped my arms around Belly as if no time had passed and we smiled for the photo. When I looked down at her, I felt things I haven't felt in a long time and a thought crossed my mind.
Maybe the magic never left.
Maybe home wasn't a place but a person.
"Yo! We're throwing a wild graduation party tonight in Cousin's. It'll be just like old times. You in?!" Steven asks, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as we walk.
Jeremiah had mentioned something to Conrad about a party at the beach house but I had been too distracted by Belly's graduation announcements sitting on the counter.
Laurel chimes in, "Promise me you'll keep an eye on all of them. Especially this one." She gestures to Steven, looking at me.
Steven laughs and rolls his eyes, waving her off, "Love you, mommmm."
Taylor laughs at Steven and looks up at me from her phone, "You are invited Conrad. I mean, unless you have something better to do." She rolls her eyes, returning to her phone.
Steven nudges my shoulder with a laugh."Oh, he doesn't have anything better to do. Right, Conrad?"
I look at Belly and wait for her to say something but when she doesn't, I simply reply "I'll be there."
We say our goodbyes and walk to our cars.
On the drive back to Cousin's, I'm consumed by her. At a red light, I scroll through the photos Laurel sent us in a group chat and smile. They hadn't taken a photo together since the night of the party when they took the polaroid. A polaroid that was still safely tucked into his wallet.
Steven's text interrupts his scrolling: Thanks mom. Conrad and I will keep everyone in check. Right, Conrad? ;)
A car honks behind me and I look up to see the stoplight was green. I send a quick thumbs up emoji then set my phone down for the rest of the drive, trying to keep my eyes on the road and my mind off of her.
When I get to Cousin's, I prepare the house. I clean the counters. I prepare the beds. Afterwards, I decide to go on a drive and find myself at a surfing spot only locals know about. Surfing for Conrad was what swimming was to Belly. Surfing took him someplace else and that's what he loved most about it. He had gone surfing in California during college but it never quite felt the same. There was something in the water at Cousin's.
When he is heading back to his car an hour later, a young boy and girl almost run into him full-speed. He reacts quickly by twisting his surfboard in the opposite direction as they run past him.
Conrad watches the young boy and girl over his shoulder as they race to the ocean with orange and blue beach pails. The little girl crouches down to collect sea shells. The little boy spots a starfish in the sand and walks over to the little girl. He tucks it in her hair but it falls into the sand and she giggles. The little boy picks the starfish back up and offers it to her in the palm of his hand.
The little girl looks at the starfish then up at the boy and smiles, putting the starfish in her orange beach pail. The boy takes her hand and they run to the opposite side of the beach, giggling with no worries in the world.
Conrad smiles and walks back to his car.
I pull up to the beach house to find the driveway empty. I leave my surf board outside to dry then run up the steps, ready for a hot shower. When I open the front door, it hits something in its path. I step inside to find Belly falling from a ladder and quickly step in to catch her.
"Belly? Are you okay?" I ask, her face inches away from mine. She opens her eyes surprised to see me.
"Yep." She says then she moves and winces, "Nope."
"Here, sit down." I say, gently guiding her down to the floor. She rests her head on the wall and I kneel down to her level. "Are you alone? Where is everyone?" I ask, confused by the lack of cars in the driveway.
"Um, Steven and Taylor went on a last-minute party run. Everyone else is coming later." She winces, looking down at her legs.
"Oh." I nod then look down at her legs too, "Where does it hurt?"
She points to her knee and I stand up right away.
"Hold on, I think we have some medicine- '' I leave then swiftly return with Ibuprofen and bandaids. "For the pain." I nod, handing her a glass of water.
She washes down the pills and I turn my attention back to her knee. I felt oddly calm as I took care of her. It was second nature. I had always looked out for her since we were kids. I was the oldest, the one everyone counted on.
Belly always tried to keep up with the summer boys. Jeremiah and Steven always complained but secretly I never minded it. One summer we were climbing a massive tree and Belly fell down, hitting her knee hardI I immediately climbed down to help her out of instinct while Steven burst into laughter.
"What a cry baby!"
Belly hugged her knee to her chest and sat up with tears in her eyes. "Shut up, Steven!"
'I'm going to take Belly home. I'll be back." I said to them as I climbed down the rest of the way. I scooped her into my arms and started walking. We were only a few blocks from home.
Belly cried the entire way home in my arms. Her tears soaked through my shirt and as a young kid all I knew was I couldn't bear to see her in so much pain. My mom had given me 10 dollars to spend at the arcade with Steven and Jere but I wanted to spend it on her. I told her we were going to stop for some water at the gas station and I'll never forget the smile on her face when I walked out with her favorite slurpee and sour patch kids. I don't know exactly when or how it happened but in that moment even as a kid I knew I would do anything to keep that smile on her face. Forever.
Belly suddenly crosses her arms in discomfort and I'm brought back to reality.
"Do your arms hurt too?" I ask with concern and she shakes her head 'no'.
"There. That should take care of it." I gently pat her knee, letting her know the worst was over. "Do you think you can stand up?"
"I'm fine." She mutters and I help her to her feet anyways. She mutters a small "thanks" then lets go of me.
To my surprise, she turns right back to the ladder as if she is about to get back on it.
"You're not getting back on that thing, Belly."
"Sure I am." She replies, harshly.
I fight a smile. Same old Belly.
"You're lucky you didn't hit your head." I scoff at her.
"It's my graduation party, remember?" She replies, walking into the kitchen.
I follow her, open the fridge, and slide a water bottle across the counter to her. Knowing her, she probably hasn't had water all day. She was the only person I knew who could live off of sugar.
"Sorry. Doctor's orders. No more ladders." I smirk playfully.
She glares at me then at the water bottle. Eventually, she gives in and takes a huge swig of the water. I try to hide my amusement as I watch her. I find myself fixated on her mouth and turn away.
"So what's next?" I ask, distracting myself by grabbing a water.
"What?"
"What else do you need to do for the party?" I ask, taking a sip of water and noting Susannah's flowers set up on the counter.
"Wow. Conrad Fisher wants to help set up a party?" She teases, tilting her head at me in the most adorable way. "Where is the Conrad I know and where did you take him?"
I roll my eyes and laugh. She may look different but she was the same Belly deep down. There was comfort in that. He had missed their banter.
He had missed her. For days, weeks, months, years.
Belly shrugs at him after a few moments, "It's pretty much done-"
"Belly." I gave her a look. "Let me help."
Belly catches me off guard when she immediately asks, "Why?"
I quickly collect my thoughts and shrug her off.
"Because it's your graduation day. And the least I can do is help after nearly knocking you off a ladder."
Belly laughs and shakes her head before taking another sip of water. It had been so long since he had heard her genuine laugh. It was music to his ears.
"Besides" I tease, craving another laugh. "That's not the only time you've fallen in this house alone..." I trail off.
I watch the memory play in her mind as if it was yesterday. It was years ago when we ran into each other during Christmas Break and I found her after she had fallen on the floor. The way she looked at me that day I would never recover. Then just as suddenly, the memory is gone and she says, "Thanks. But I can handle it on my own from here."
Belly leaves the kitchen and I sigh, dropping my shoulders in defeat. This wasn't going to be easy.
The flowers catch his eye again and he touches the petals with sadness.
Wish you were here mom. You'd know what to do.
He waits for the door to close upstairs and exits the kitchen to head upstairs too. When he sees the ladder and scattered party decorations, an idea occurs to him. He looks at the portrait on the wall and mouths thanks mom. He decides to finish what Belly started and put together a grand entrance for the party. He had no idea what he was doing but he was having fun trying because it was for her. It was a small step in the right direction. His way of making things right with her again.
"Conrad? Wow, you haven't changed!" Clay laughs, walking up to me at the party later that night. He reeks of beer and I wonder who invited him. I nearly roll my eyes, not interested in the conversation but nod at him anyway.
Steven saves the day by coming up to Clay. "Dude! How long has it been?" Steven laughs, patting Clay's back and I take a swig of beer, scanning the room.
Our eyes meet for the first time tonight. It takes him back in time. She was looking at him the same way she had at Nicole's party years ago. I looked down to see the drink she was pouring was overflowing. She notices it too and turns away embarassed. I walk towards the kitchen, leaving Steven and Clay to talk.
"How much have you had to drink tonight?" I fight back a smile behind the counter as she turns around.
Belly replies "hey" in a small voice he knew well.
"Here. Allow me." I say. I walk around the counter to take the rag from her and clean up the mess for her. I feel her eyes on me and smile.
"So… how's- how's medical school?" She asks.
Her question surprises me. I decide to make her a new drink and smirk at her attempt to make small talk.
"It's… medical school." I laugh as I make the drink.
"Right." She replies, looking away at the crowd.
"Here. It's extra sugary. Just the way you like it." I say, handing her the new drink. Belly takes it and tests it. She takes another sip then another. She didn't have to say anything, I knew she loved it.
After a few moments, I look around and take a sip of my beer, "So… you know all these people?"
"Not really. Taylor invited most of them." She says and I smile. Some things never change.
"Hey, um, thanks for earlier." Belly suddenly says, referring to the decorations I had set up. I wasn't expecting her to thank me so I nod in return.
"How's your knee?"
"Much better. Yeah, it's good." She replies, pursing her lips.
"That's good." I say. I feel the tension between us and want nothing more than to talk like we used to. Like we had done our whole lives.
Shoot your shot.
"Belly, can we-" I start but Taylor's voice interrupts.
"Belly! I've been looking for you!" Taylor says, looking at Belly. Steven is next to her and takes a sip of his drink. If his eyes could talk they would say: did we interrupt something?
I look at Belly and she downs the rest of her drink and says, "Duty calls!" before walking away with Taylor. I watch them leave then look down at my beer with a sigh.
"Sooo" Steven says, opening the fridge after they are gone. I shoot him a knowing look.
"Oh, come on. You guys aren't fooling anyone." Steven laughs, turning back around to refill his drink. "Taylor's convinced you guys have been talking behind her back."
I laugh, shaking my head. "No, it's not like that. Belly and I haven't… 'She didn't know I was coming. I didn't even know if I was coming today…" I trailed off.
"Well, I'm glad you did." Steven smiles and Conrad turns to look at him. Conrad smiles at Steven. Sometimes Steven felt more of a brother to Conrad than Jeremiah.
"And listen…I know my sister." Steven says, looking out the window at Taylor and Belly talking to some girls outside. "We're all glad you're here. All of us."
Conrad laughs, "I don't know about all of us. Taylor isn't my biggest fan." Steven laughs with him then watches Conrad watch Belly. Steven knows that look because it's the same way Steven looks at Taylor.
After a few moments, Steven says, "There's something still there, isn't there?" Conrad looks at Steven, unsure what to say and Steven just laughs, patting him on the back.
Conrad and Belly's eyes meet once again as he takes a swig of his beer. There would always be something between Belly and Conrad. Their conversations on Cousin's beach were living proof of that.
Cousin's Beach at night was his favorite place in the world. There were so many memories tied to this beach: late night bonfires, fireworks, and moments with her. He had fallen asleep to the sounds of these waves since he was a baby. He nursed his third beer in his hands and closed his eyes, enjoying the sound of the waves drowning out the party behind him. He was home.
Suddenly someone walks past him in a drunk, swaying motion. He knew that hair and gingham beach dress from a mile away. It was the one she wore when she got drunk off pomegranate margaritas for the first time and told him his wet hair was romantic. He smiled at the memory then at her standing in front of him. It all seemed so silly now.
Belly sits in the sand, clearly too drunk to notice him and looks out at the waves. I admire her then stand up, knocking over my beer in the process. She turns around then stands up to leave in a hurry, swiping sand off her dress.
"Belly… wait. Can we talk?"
"Whatever you have to say…" Belly shakes her head at me. "It doesn't matter."
"Of course it matters." I say, removing the daggers she was throwing at my heart.
She was all that mattered.
"Conrad, it was a long time ago…"
Maybe it was wrong to do this on the night of her graduation but when would they be alone like this again? It felt right to finally say the words that had been eating away at him for years. She deserved to hear them. It was now or never.
Shoot your shot.
"I'm sorry."
Belly freezes at my words and slowly turns around to look at me. I take a step forward towards her.
"I've replayed it over and over again in my head for years trying to find the right words to say to you." I shake my head, maintaining eye contact. "I get it. It's too little too late but for what it's worth. I'm sorry, Belly."
"Conrad. We both hurt each other-" She says, shaking her head.
"And I don't ever want to hurt you like that again."
I meant every word. I would do everything in my power to make things right. Her eyes search mine for answers and I want to take her hand and give them all to her.
Belly finally whispers, "What do you want from me?"
I take a step closer, looking into her eyes.
"I want to be in each other's lives again, Belly."
She looks at the waves behind me and every second that passes by, it kills me inside but it wasn't just up to me. It had to be her decision. Belly had to want it too.
"I'm sorry too." She whispers.
"Belly, you don't have to-"
"No, I do. I never meant to come between you and Jere." She shakes her head, finally looking him in the eye. "And the way everything happened… It wasn't right. I'm sorry."
"Jeremiah and I will always be brothers, Belly. Jere's moved on. We all have. You need to give yourself permission to move on too."
"It's not that I haven't moved on." Belly whispers. "I just… don't know how to be in your life… after what I did."
"How about we start now?" I beg, standing in front of her.
"How?" She shakes her head. "We can't just pretend like nothing happened. It doesn't work like that."
"No, Belly. We can't start over. But we can start by being in each other's lives again."
"I don't know how." Her voice breaks, searching his eyes before turning away to leave for good.
It was all too familiar. He wasn't going to let her walk away again. He had learned from his mistakes.
"Don't leave it like this, Belly." He calls out to her and she continues to walk. Memories of prom, the party, and more flash his mind. He can't take it and calls out again, "Damnitt. Don't shut me out!"
She freezes then says "I'm not" before walking again.
"Isn't that what you said to me years ago? You said no more shutting each other out. That's exactly what you're doing to me right now and where has it gotten us?"
Belly stops walking but doesn't turn around.
"Yes, we have a past. Yes, we made mistakes. Life doesn't make sense sometimes." Conrad says and he crosses the sand to stand in front of her again. "But life makes a hell of a lot more sense when you're in my life, Belly. We can't keep doing this, shutting each other out."
Tears fall from her eyes and he wants nothing more than to take away all of her pain. He shakes his head.
"Don't cry. I just." He sucks in a deep breath then looks into her eyes. "If I'm wrong, then I will leave this beach right now but if there is any part of you that misses me too. Please say something, Belly."
Conrad looks at her, waiting for her to say something. Anything. And when she doesn't, he feels a familiar pain in his chest. He was going to cry in front of her.
"I've tried to live without you for years and I don't know how." He finally breaks and her expression changes.
And just like that, there was a sudden shift in the air. A change of heart. The waves on the beach go from crashing to still. There were no words left to say and nothing left to do but to surrender. They would rather be in each other's lives than be without each other.
Belly surrenders, "I've missed you too, Conrad Fisher."
Then just like in his dreams, she wraps her arms around him and they hug each other tight. Conrad closes his eyes, memorizing every detail. The softness of her hair. The warmth of her skin. The smell of her shampoo. He felt all the pain from the past wash away with the tide. He never wanted to let go of her. Everything made sense again and time stood still for the two of them.
When they finally let go of each other, Belly holds out a hand and smiles, "Friends?"
Conrad squeezes her hand and smirks, "Friends."
They both looked at each other in a familiar way, holding hands.
"Good things come to those who wait, Connie."
Eventually Belly drops his hand and turns to the beach house, pursing her lips. "We should get back before someone thinks you kidnapped me." She laughs.
Conrad looks down at her, "On one condition."
"What?"
"That you don't weep when I kick your ass in beer pong."
"Oh you're on!" Belly laughs, pushing him.
Belly and Conrad take their time walking back to the beach house. Two young hearts making up for lost time. And for the first time in a long time, he felt the magic again. He couldn't shake the feeling that this summer would be different.
Maybe the magic never left.
It would be the summer that changed everything.
Author's Note:
I hope you enjoyed reading Conrad's POV of Belly's big day as much as I had fun writing it! More coming soon! P.S. Follow @ teamconniebaby on Insta for updates!