Light Shines Anew
Chapter 3: The Easy Route
Yuma barely dodged Shun's Scorpion. He felt the sword slash through his cheek, saw the black Trion pouring out of it from the corner of his eyes, and then saw the way Shun's eyes narrowed at him.
Shun jumped away from Yuma and landed on a different building, eyes never leaving his friend. "What are you doing? You're not focused at all, Yuma-senpai." And the annoying thing was that even while he was distracted with thoughts that clearly weren't about the fight, Yuma was still winning the ten rounds. It was a sloppy win, but still a win.
Yuma knew that. The whole point of coming to the solo rank wars today was to distract him. He wanted something to take all his focus so he wouldn't have to think about the future. He wanted something that could bring him a thrill and unknowingly put a smile onto his face.
He only had a month left and he was determined to enjoy it as much as he could.
"You've run out of time, Yuma."
"It's twenty percent."
"Jin wanted me to show you something."
"I'd say it's 80-20, but the future isn't determined yet. I'll bet on Yuma's victory."
"You're doing it again!"
Yuma's eyes snapped up at Shun's shout.
"You're not focused at all!" Shun accused.
Yuma stared at Shun. Stared at the annoyance and concern in those green eyes.
"This isn't like you at all."
Yuma stared as Shun's lips twitched into a frown of worry for his friend that was losing focus in a fight. Something that never happened. The only time Yuma had ever let himself lose focus like this was back during the Mimics incident.
"If you get distracted like this, Yuma-senpai, you have no hope of beating Kageura squad in the first round." Shun said. "Come on, Yuma-senpai, focus. I want you to join me in A-Rank already."
Yuma's eyes flickered off to the side, breaking eye contact first. Perhaps it would indicate a problem since Yuma very rarely was the one to break eye contact. He usually intimidated people with his eyes to get them to look away first.
A-Rank.
B-Rank.
S-Rank.
Those titles meant nothing to Yuma, but it had been so fun just fighting to climb through the ranks. He was aiming for A-Rank simply because it was very fun, but truthfully the title didn't mean anything to him. Everything Yuma did was based on how much fun he thought it would be which was why Yuma decided his goal for this B-Rank War season would be to stay at the top so his team could challenge an A-Rank team and take their spot.
But...
Shun was eager for Yuma's team to reach A-rank. Once his team did, they would get to join the A-Rank Wars. There would be a lot of fun to be had, but...
Yuma wasn't ever going to join them.
Shun wouldn't get his fight with Yuma in A-Rank.
Shun didn't have to face death head on.
Shun would get to keep living and have so much fun.
Sorry, Shun.
Yuma couldn't give him what he wanted.
*L*S*A*
It was reminiscent of the first time Shun and Yuma fought. Shun won at the beginning, but then stopped winning. It was 7-3 in Yuma's favor. It was like Yuma wasn't paying any attention in the first three rounds. By round four, he was moving again to win, but the attacks weren't at all sharp like they were supposed to be. It was more like Yuma was simply going through the motions.
"He's distracted." Murakami said as they stared at the final score of the ten-round match.
"What did that damn Tachikawa-san do?" Kageura grumbled. Yuma was fine before Tachikawa dragged him off to go watch some damn video logs.
Murakami sipped at his water as he waved towards Yuma and Shun as they exited their booths. It wasn't at all surprising that neither one of them looked happy. It didn't need said aloud that they weren't happy with how the match turned out.
"Kuga! What the hell was that pitiful display?!" Kageura demanded.
Murakami sighed. He just knew Kageura wouldn't let it go.
"My bad. I guess my heart just isn't in it. I must not be in the mood for training." Yuma replied, forcing an apologetic smile on his face. "Sorry about that, Shun. I think I'll just skip on any more matches right now and go get lunch." He rubbed the back of his head as he looked away from his friends.
Kageura glared at that head of white hair. Yuma was allowed to have an off day. He was allowed to not be happy. It happened to everyone occasionally. It was just, despite the fact that he was dying, Yuma very rarely had off days. "The food here sucks." Kageura decided to say instead of saying any of that though.
Yuma turned his head slightly to look at him from the corner of his eye, pupils black. "What a stupid lie."
"Shut up, Kuga." Kageura snapped, snatching him up by the collar of his jacket to start dragging him with him. "I'm just not in the mood for the crappy food here. Let's go."
"Are you going to your family restaurant?" Shun piped up, racing after the two as Murakami trailer more slowly behind the group. "Can I come?" Ever since Yuma introduced him to the food at that restaurant, he was always eager for the chance to go there.
"You'll come even if I say no." Kageura snapped over his shoulder. "Damn puppy."
Shun laughed, too used to being referred to as a puppy by the older agents. They were just jealous of his energetic young self.
*L*S*A*
Shinoda sipped at his coffee. His delicious, freshly brewed coffee that he didn't get to enjoy for a long time since he didn't have access to coffee while on the away mission. He had to make up for lost time.
The defense commander paused in his walk and stared at his mug of coffee. With thoughts like that, he was beginning to think like Kido back when Border was stationed in Tamakoma and Kido and Mogami were constantly going to war over the coffee machine being broken. It was hilarious back then when he was a teenager, but now that he was in his thirties, he realized he was turning into them.
Shinoda stared down into the coffee for a moment longer before he started walking once more. Perhaps he should think about making sure he actually got more sleep at night.
Arriving at his office, Shinoda let the doors slide open for him and barely stepped into his office when he stopped to stare at the intruder.
"You have your own base, Rindo." Shinoda said before he was moving towards his desk to set his files and mug down.
"But your office so much more spacious." Rindo said, though Shinoda heard the tone of his voice. His heart wasn't in the jest.
It was never good when Rindo wasn't smiling at his jokes.
Shinoda settled down behind his desk and then gave Rindo his undivided attention. He had just seen Rindo two days ago and yet somehow in those two days, Rindo had developed a completely stressed expression. That wasn't normal. Since they had been in Border so long, Rindo and Shinoda have been through a lot of situations together. Very little could actually cause the two of them to get stressed out this quickly.
"What happened?" Shinoda demanded.
"You asked me before to keep you in the loop when something was going on with Yuma." Rindo said, holding eye contact with Shinoda. A promise that came into existence because of the problem with the Mimics months ago. They were both students of Kuga Yugo and they both promised to protect Yuma when he came to Border months ago. The problem was that the incident with the Mimics revealed just how much Rindo was keeping secret concerning Yuma. Shinoda demanded he be kept in the loop when it concerned their mentor's son and Rindo was making sure the promise did not fall through.
Shinoda did demand to always be kept in the loop about their mentor's son, but that didn't mean he liked it when Rindo came to him for that reason. If Rindo was coming to him, then it meant something was wrong with Yuma and considering the condition Yuma was in, it never meant anything good. "What happened?" He found himself asking.
Rindo blew out smoke from his mouth from his cigarette. He didn't reply immediately as he needed to take a moment to think about where to start. He had all the time in the world while waiting for Shinoda to make it back to his office to think about this, but instead of doing that, Rindo had been distracted.
"I just want to have fun."
Rindo could only stare at Yuma, stare at the pained, depressed expression on his face as he said that.
All that child wanted was to have fun. All Yugo wanted for his son was for him to be happy.
"I want Yuma to be happy." Rindo settled on, confusing Shinoda. "When he came to us, we promised to protect him to repay Kuga-san for everything that he did for us. I think the best way to fully repay Kuga-san would be to save Yuma's life."
Shinoda nodded, though he couldn't wipe the confused frown off his face. "Kinuta-san has been studying medical applications of Trion and Neighbor technology since he joined Border, but there is still a lot he doesn't know. He doesn't have a way to return Yuma-kun to his real body yet."
And Kinuta had been looking ever since they found out about Yuma's body. Kinuta had no love for Neighbors, but he did have his honor and pride. Yuma had helped Border so much as an agent and by giving them military information about Neighbor nations. While Shinoda and Rindo wanted to protect Yuma, Kinuta simply wanted to pay him back so he had been pushing the research for medical applications of Trion and Neighbor technology harder. Unfortunately, it had only been a few months since they found out about Yuma's body. He hadn't had nearly enough time to find an answer.
"We can't help Yuma and we've run out time to find a solution." Rindo said.
Run out of time?
Shinoda's head snapped up as he woke up from his thoughts. He stared at Rindo, at the grim smile he shot Shinoda's way. "We've—what?"
"Apparently, Jin predicated Yuma has only got a month left." Rindo admitted. Something that Jin did not tell Rindo when he asked for his help with Galopoula. He didn't know why Jin wouldn't have told him that sooner and leave him to find out from a distressed Yuma.
Shinoda felt his heart drop to his stomach. He felt himself ease back into his seat and just slouch. They had known. He had known that Yuma was going to die much earlier than everyone else. After Yuma's final fight with Yuga, Shinoda had eventually watched the footage of the fight and he had seen Yuma's real body. With those kinds of injuries, when Yugo originally created the Black Trigger when Yuma was eleven and dying, Yuma had to have had only a few seconds left on his live. Maybe a minute or two if he was lucky. Considering that, even with the time of Yuma's real body slowed down inside the Black Trigger, Yuma wasn't going to be able to survive for a long time. It was disheartening, but not at all surprising that they were practically out of time.
"Sorry, that was the worst news. I wanted to get it out of the way first." Rindo stood up from the couch and approached Shinoda's desk to place a tablet on it face up. He scrolled through it until he found the file he wanted and opened it up. "This is the sort of good, sort of bad news."
Shinoda scooped the tablet up off his desk and looked at it, brows furrowing in confusion. "And what am I looking at it?"
Rindo bit down on his cigarette. He knew Shinoda wouldn't have a problem with this. It was the other higher ups that would be an issue. "After Galopoula attacked us, Tamakoma made contact with them."
"I'm aware." Shinoda bit out. The original purpose of Border was to make friends with Neighbors. Tamakoma still did that and everyone was aware of their stance on the issue so that wasn't the problem Shinoda had. The problem he had was that Rindo made an alliance with Galopoula behind his back and he didn't learn of it until he was already on the away mission.
"After the help we gave them that freed them from Aftokrator, we formed an alliance with them." Rindo explained.
"We also have a very tentative alliance with Aftokrator." Shinoda pointed out. "How does Galopoula and Aftokrator feel about us being allies with both of them?"
Rindo gave a strained smile. "Well, Border is between them. It is on us to keep the peace between the two nations."
Shinoda snorted and turned his attention back to the tablet. As long as Aftokrator didn't make a move against Border or Galopoula again, the peace would hopefully be easy to maintain. He would worry about that if something he ever went astray with this insane alliance Tamakoma managed to get them. For now, Galopoula having a way to help Yuma was more important in this moment.
"Anyway," Rindo coughed and returned to the originally conversation. He tapped the top of the tablet. "This here is from Galopoula. Galopoula has few Trigger users, but the ones they do have are immensely powerful. The reason they have so few Trigger uses when compared to somewhere like Aftokrator is because Galopoula has spent more time studying medical applications of Trion then they did with military applications. Of course they have both, but their medical field is much bigger."
Shinoda stared at the file, studying it more intently than he did before. A lot of it didn't make sense to him. Perhaps Kinuta would be a better person to be studying this than him. "Are you saying–"
"From the moment Jin met Yuma, he had foreseen Yuma helping us a lot, but he had also foreseen Yuma's death. Since Jin knew how much Yuma would help us in the future, he has been trying to find a way to save Yuma's life to repay him for that help. It wasn't until recently that Yuma even learned Jin was working on this." Rindo explained.
"You formed an alliance with Galopoula to save Yuma." Shinoda breathed out in shock.
Rindo smiled. "It wasn't the only reason. For the success of the away mission, we did need that alliance with Galopoula so it was something we would have needed to do regardless of Yuma's condition." He turned his back on Shinoda and leaned his hip against the desk, crossing his arms as he thought. "We formed an alliance with Galopoula. When they need help, we'll be there. When we need help, they'll help us in return. However, right now Galopoula feels indebted to us and want to return the favor. That document you're looking at is what they sent us when Jin and I asked them if they could help Yuma as way to return the help we gave to free them from Aftokrator. It's likely once they do this, they'll feel free of that debt and we'll be on equal ground."
Shinoda looked back at the file he was reading. "You told them about Yuma's condition?"
"We had to." Rindo said. "There is no saving Yuma if we keep quiet about his condition forever."
"Didn't bother you before to keep it a secret." Shinoda mumbled under his breath as he scrolled through the file until he found a diagram of a human body with certain parts highlighted. Certain parts highlighted that matched the injuries of Yuma's real body. Galopoula must have made this file based on the information Jin and Rindo gave them.
"You said this was good and bad news." Shinoda repeated Rindo's earlier words, looking up from the tablet to stare at his friend's back. "If Galopoula has a method to help Yuma-kun, then I'm not seeing the bad news."
"It's only twenty percent chance of success." Rindo sighed softly. "And Yuma doesn't want to take it."
"Twenty percent?!"
Rindo smiled sadly. "The worse the injuries, the less likely the operation will be a success."
Shinoda's hand tightened its grip on the tablet. "And Yuma-kun doesn't want to take the risk? He'll die if he doesn't."
"I suppose to Yuma, the chance of success isn't high enough for him to want to try it. If the operation fails, he'll die immediately." Rindo explained. "And for Yuma, whose life is already so short, he would rather spend what little time he has left just having fun. To Yuma, he sees the options as die or die." He looked over his shoulder at Shinoda, grim apprehension on his face. "We can't force Yuma to do the operation if he doesn't want it."
Shinoda stared at the diagram on his tablet. At the numbers flashing at him. At the words that spoke of what the operation did. Kinuta was nowhere close to a solution. Aftokrator couldn't help as they were a military nation. Galopoula was their only chance at saving Yuma's life.
"That said," Rindo pushed off the desk. "We have a month before Yuma dies. Preferably, I would like to change Yuma's mind as soon as possible. His chance of survival will only go down the closer his body is to death." Maybe Rindo didn't know how much time Yuma had left until an hour ago, but he had read the file from Galopoula thoroughly and then reread it and then read it again. He understood what was being said. "Kinuta-san might not agree with asking Galopoula for help, but I'll deal with that backlash if it comes. Can you show that file to Kinuta-san and see how he feels about it?"
"You don't trust want Galopoula has sent you?" Shinoda asked.
"I trust them." Rindo replied. "I was hoping Kinuta-san could read the file which could help him advance our own research, but also explain the process to Yuma. Maybe if Yuma got a full understanding of the operation, he would be more willing to listen."
"I see." Shinoda nodded. "Regardless of everything else, I'm sure Kinuta-san will be happy to have this information so hopefully he won't complain."
*L*S*A*
Yuma pulled himself free of Kageura's grip and jogged ahead a few steps before slowing to a walk. He was quite eager to get to Kageura's family restaurant. Good food and just a peaceful time to hang out with friends. He wasn't sure it would be enough to distract him from his thoughts, but he could try.
"Hey, Yuma-senpai!"
Yuma glanced over his should. "Hmm?"
"Your birthday is in a few days. Is there anything you want?" Shun asked eagerly.
"Oh, right. I almost forgot about that with the excitement of the B-Rank Wars starting up soon." Murakami replied. "You're going to be sixteen, right?"
"When is that again?" Kageura asked.
"Don't joke." Murakami shoved Kageura's side. "You know it's the day after the first round of the B-Rank Wars."
Yuma ignored though joking around as he glanced up at the sky, watching the clouds lazily drifting across it. "A fight?" He suggested.
Kageura shoved Murakami back and rolled his eyes. "We fight you all the time."
Yuma's brows furrowed in thought. "I don't know then. I never had many material possessions before." That was slowly changing. From the bike he bought out of curiosity to the stuffed animal Shiori and Konami bought him a few months ago to the tv and game system he purchased at the insistence of his friends. It still felt very minimal compared to everyone else though, but it was a start.
"How long?" Yuma asked.
"I would say a month, and that's if you're lucky." Jin admitted.
Yuma's eyes softened in sadness. "You don't need to get anything for me. It would just be a waste of money."
"Huh?" Shun frowned. "It's your birthday, Yuma-senpai! I have to get you a gift, especially since you haven't owned much in life cause you were constantly moving. You've settled down here so you need to fill your room at Tamakoma with stuff now!"
"Maybe some more games for you to play." Murakami suggested.
"Maybe start a movie collection." Shun suggested next.
Kageura scoffed. "I doubt this idiot could sit still long enough with his mind turned off to enjoy a movie."
"Why not? Yoneyan-senpai and I got him interested in anime." Shun argued.
Kageura rolled his eyes. "That's thirty minutes at a time. He could sit for that long without getting restless. He wouldn't survive a two-hour long movie."
"I don't hear you offering any ideas." Shun retorted.
There was a clock on the other side of the street as they approached an intersection. Yuma's eyes got drawn it.
Tick tock. Tick tock.
Time never stopped moving.
He could hear his friends arguing behind him about what a suitable birthday gift would be.
Tick tock.
Murakami's voice joined in on the argument.
Yuma sighed as he stepped into the road to walk across.
He wished Jin didn't tell him how much time he had left.
"Oi! Kuga!"
This last month he had left would be full of so much fun if he didn't suddenly see this clock ticking down in front of him. It was so distracting.
"Yuma-senpai!"
Yuma only had a second to blink as he processed Kageura and Shun's voices before he felt something slam into him and he went flying across the road.
Shun felt all the air leave his lungs as he watched the car slam into Yuma and send him flying through the air until he hit the ground and rolled a few times until he came to a stop.
All at once everything hit him. Kageura and Murakami rushed forward to get to Yuma and Shun was just a step behind them.
Before they could even reach Yuma, the short agent was already pushing himself up to his hands and knees. Murakami dropped into a crouch by Yuma, hands hovering over his friend as he examined the cracks on his hands and arms. Yuma turned his face slightly towards them to reveal his wrecked face.
"You dumbass." Kageura snarled. "What the hell are you doing? You don't walk on red!"
Yuma's hand came up to his face to cover the cracks that were distorting his vision. "I know that."
"Then why the hell did you walk into the street on red?" Kageura demanded.
Shun dropped onto the ground next to Yuma's side. He knew that Yuma couldn't be killed by getting hit by a car because of his Trion body, but that didn't mean he wanted to watch his friend actually get hit by a car and go flying through the air. He had enough fears about Yuma dying because of his injured body. He didn't need more images of him possibly getting killed to haunt his dreams.
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! We need to call an ambulance!"
Kageura snarled at the voice behind them. Obviously, it was the driver of the car and he was pissing off Kageura in more than one way right now. Before he could turn around and go off on the driver, Murakami put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. He gave a small shove to push him towards Yuma before Murakami rose to his feet and turned to the driver. Kageura's temper was not needed here.
"Sir, please calm down. Our friend is perfectly fine. There's no need to call for an ambulance." Murakami said as he approached the driver and began to talk to him in an attempt to calm him down and keep him from seeing Yuma's body.
While Murakami kept the driver distracted, Kageura crouched down by Yuma and shifted his body slightly to shield Yuma from being seen by the driver. "You're such an idiot." He grumbled under his breathe, eyes locked on the cracks on Yuma's body with a frown. It wasn't often they saw Yuma's non-combat Trion body get hurt, but it did happen a few times. He watched as the cracks slowly began to fuse shut, but it was strange. "Your body normally doesn't take this long to heal. It's usually pretty fast."
Yuma gritted his teeth. He pulled his hand from his face and stared at the cracks that were slowly healing shut. It seemed the smaller cracks were sealing shut faster than the bigger ones. Usually when he damaged this body, the damage healed instantaneously. Damn, if he didn't need more confirmation that Jin's prediction was true, this would have been a good sign that something was wrong.
"Yuma-senpai," Shun said worriedly, hands hovering over Yuma's arm, but not touching.
"I'm fine." Yuma promised, shoving Shun's hand away from him.
"The hell you are." Kageura snapped.
"I just want to have lunch." Yuma said.
"That doesn't mean you walk into fucking traffic." Kageura snarled. This damn shrimp was trying to give them all heart attacks. He was turning sixteen in a few days. He shouldn't need a damn babysitter to make sure he didn't walk into traffic!
Shun didn't care that Yuma pushed him away. He learned that his friend pushed people away when he was distressed back during the Mimic incident. So, instead, he let his head fall onto Yuma's shoulder. "Yuma-senpai. How does Mikumo-senpai not perpetually have a heart attack with you on his team?" He knew Yuma stressed Osamu out sometimes. Shun had gotten stories of how Yuma and Osamu met. Those stories left Shun feeling incredulous at the stuff Yuma got up to but he also wanted to laugh at them. Whenever Osamu was around when Yuma was telling one of those stories, he would get a pained look on his face so there was also some pity Shun felt for him.
"Osamu worries too much."
Kageura lifted his hand to smack Yuma on the head, but his hand stalled as he took in the cracks still healing on Yuma's face. His hand shifted directions abruptly to grab Yuma's hood and yanked it up over his face. "I'm convinced he doesn't worry enough when it comes to your idiotic, reckless ass."
"So many insults."
"And all deserved." Shun grumbled.
"Alright, I've convinced the driver to not call the police." Murakami said as he returned to his friends with his phone in hand. "I did, however, have to take his contact information and inform him Border would compensate him for his car since Kuga did illegally cross the street."
Yuma groaned.
"Illegally or not, that asshole should have still been paying attention for dumb kids running into the street." Kageura snapped.
So many insults. Yuma grimaced, though he was happy as his vision healed as the cracks were closing. The insults were probably deserved. Yuma shouldn't have let himself get so distracted.
"Regardless of that fact, unless you want to deal with an ambulance or the police, this is what I settled on." Murakami said.
"Shinoda-san and Rindo-san are going to lecture me." Yuma groaned.
"And you're going to stand there and take it, Yuma-senpai." Shun scolded. "Just because it won't kill you, that doesn't mean you can do something so stupid."
Yuma looked down, tugging at his ripped sleeves of his hoodie. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry." He knew the harsh words from his friends were simply because they were all worried and Yuma just scared them. "I'll pay for lunch today, okay?"
"A free lunch isn't going to keep that sight out of my nightmares." Shun grumbled as he rose to his feet. He held out a hand towards Yuma who graciously took it and let himself be pulled to his feet.
"I don't think–"
"Don't even finish that sentence." Kageura snapped, shoving Yuma's back to get him walking to cross the street properly now.
"Ah," Yuma twisted around to where the wrecked car was. "I'm really sorry about your car, mister!" He started to dig around in his pocket. "Here, I can just–"
"Put it away, Kuga." Murakami said quickly, pushing Yuma's hand back into his pocket before he could pull out a stack of money that they constantly told him to not carry around. "Your boss can handle paying to get it fixed."
Yuma whined at the back of his throat. This was the third time he got hit by a car. If Osamu heard about this...Yuma couldn't deal with the look his captain would throw his way. Oh, no. What if Yuma's bad habit of walking into traffic became a story among his friends like Shinoda cutting Kido's car in half?
"I swear to everything..." Kageura started grumbling under his breath as he took the lead on the walk to his family's restaurant since Yuma clearly couldn't be trusted to handle this simple task.
As they went back to walking, Murakami glanced at his phone still in his hand. He poked Yuma's arm to get his attention and showed his phone to him.
Shinoda: Why did you send me contact information and pictures of a car wreck?
Yuma closed his eyes in defeat. He didn't want to see it. Murakami could be the responsible senior here and handle everything that came with Yuma being hit by a car.
"Are you sure we shouldn't have called the police and waited?" Shun asked, leaning over Murakami's arm to see the phone.
"Calling the police means filing the accident and having to deal insurance companies." Murakami replied.
"Which means it will be a complete hassle. It's much easier and faster to just have Border throw a check at them." Kageura threw over his shoulder.
"And considering Director Shinoda and Rindo-san are watching over Kuga as a way to return what they owe to Kuga-san, they can deal with it." Murakami added. He typed out a response to Shinoda which would surely give the man a heart attack before he slipped his phone in his pocket. "There is something else we need to discuss anyway." He glanced down at Yuma. "You've been acting off ever since you came back from being kidnapped by Tachikawa-san."
"Yeah, what did that asshole do?" Kageura demanded, turning his head slightly to glare at Yuma.
"He didn't do anything. I'm fine, really." Yuma shot a smile towards his friends to assure them of that fact.
The smile did nothing except to further enrage Kageura. "You can't expect me to buy that bullshit after you just walked into traffic!"
"I had a momentary lapse of judgement. It happens." Yuma protested.
"It can't happen if it puts you in danger. Pay attention to your surroundings!" Kageura griped. He dearly wished he and Murakami had driven their motorcycles to HQ earlier. Kageura and Murakami could have given the brats a ride to the restaurant and then this wouldn't have happened. They wouldn't be needing to have to beat some sense into Yuma's head. "What I should get you for your birthday is a damn child's leash apparently!"
"Uh, what's that?" Yuma asked confused.
Shun snickered. He wrapped his hand around Yuma's wrist and tugged at it. "He would wrap a leash around you like this and keep a hold of the other end so he can tug you back when you try to run into traffic."
Yuma blinked and looked at Shun's hand on his wrist. He tugged his arm, but Shun just tightened his grip for a second to give Yuma the idea before he released his hold, chuckling at Yuma's affronted look.
"It's just how Kage shows his concern, Kuga." Murakami said. "Don't worry about it. He's not actually going to get it. He's just frustrated right now."
This was somehow worse than when Osamu saw him get hit by a car. Yuma didn't think that was possible with how much of a caring demon Osamu was, but if he thought about it, Osamu was only one person. There were three here who were freaking out for no reason. A car could not kill Yuma.
"I don't see why it's a big deal. It's not like this is the first time I got hit by a car." Yuma said.
Kageura slowed to a stop and turned to glare at Yuma. "Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?"
Yuma pouted.
"You need to get it out of your system, Kuga." Murakami said. "When you get your real body back, you're not going to be able to bounce back from getting smacked around by a car."
Yuma blinked. When? "But I'm not going to get my real body back." He said confused. Did he want it back so he could go on living? Yes. The problem was there was no solid plan for that to happen. And no, Yuma did not count the Galopoula plan. Twenty percent chance of survival was too low.
Yuma took risks. Or, used to. After his dad died for him, Yuma was a lot more cautious since he would not throw his life away for anyone after Yugo gave up his life for Yuma. He had to protect this life Yugo gave him, but that changed when Yuma came to Japan and made friends and joined Border. He found something, someone, he wanted to protect. Yuma took risks to protect his friends and to protect Border.
He did not take risks for himself. The Galopoula plan was about Yuma. It was about saving Yuma. No one else had a stake in this. No one else had to give something up to do the plan. It was all on Yuma and Yuma would not risk his life for himself. He didn't want to die laying on an operating table. He wanted to die while on his feet and having as much fun as possible.
Fun.
That was all he wanted.
"Huh?!" Kageura growled. "The hell you mean you aren't getting it back?"
Oh, right. His friends were here.
Yuma snapped his head up to face three incredulous, betrayed faces. Why did they look like Yuma just killed their pet?
"Yuma-senpai, you're going to die if you don't get your real body back." Shun said desperately.
"Well, yeah." Yuma said slowly, feeling as if he was saying something wrong. Talking about his body wasn't something they usually did as they all tended to avoid the topic, but they still all knew about this so he didn't understand the pained expressions. Everything he said was just fact.
"And you're just okay with that?" Murakami asked softly. Ever since they had found out about Yuma's impending death, none of Yuma's friends were okay with it. They wanted Yuma to live. But maybe Yuma didn't feel the same way as them.
Yuma blinked again. He looked away from his friends to stare across the street as he thought. "It's not...it's not as easy as yes or no." He mumbled.
"The hell it's not." Kageura snapped angrily. "You either want to live or you don't."
Yuma scratched the back of his head viciously. It's not like they could understand when they've never been in his shoes.
"Come on," Murakami pushed them forward. "The restaurant's around the corner. Let's sit down while we talk."
*L*S*A*
As the group settled down at a booth in the corner for more privacy, Yuma tugged at the ripped edges of his hoodie sleeves. While his friends were dressed in short sleeves and shorts to combat the hot temperatures of summer, Yuma still dressed as he always did since he couldn't feel the difference in the weather. He glanced up through his bangs as Shun used his hand to fan himself as he basked in the restaurant's AC. He knew what it meant to be cold or hot, but Yuma hadn't actually felt a difference in years. He didn't remember what it felt like to be cold or hot.
Silence reigned over Yuma, Murakami, and Shun as they waited for Kageura to return with drinks and food. Somehow the stifling silence felt like Yuma's fault. The topic of his body seemed to just make people uncomfortable. It wasn't an easy topic. Yuma knew that much. Talking of killing people in rank wars was easy since no one was actually dying and leaving this world behind. Once Yuma's death hit, that was it. He wouldn't get a third chance after this.
Kageura practically slammed the tray on the table. It was amazing the glasses didn't tip over and spill all over the table. "I got your favorite, Kuga, so you're going to enjoy it and answer Kō's question."
Yuma watched on Kageura dropped the meat on the grill so it could start cooking. "It's like I said. It's not a simple yes or no. It's complicated."
"Then explain it." Murakami said. "It's not like any of us have anywhere to be anytime soon." He paused and glanced at Shun. "You don't, do you?"
Shun shook his head. "I'm free all day today. So, Yuma-senpai, talk!" He demanded, turning his full attention to his friend.
Yuma chuckled a bit. Shun tended to get aggressive when he was concerned. It was honestly a bit amusing since he tended to be more easy going. "It's just...when my father first saved me back when I was eleven, I fought to stay alive, but I only did so because I didn't want to waste the life my dad gave up his life for. I also..." His hand fell on the table, palm turned upwards as he stared at his ring. "I was hoping to somehow return my father's life to him. It would have killed me to do, but I was supposed to die anyway. He didn't have to forfeit his life for mine."
Murakami nodded. Most of that was stuff they found out when the Mimics attacked them.
"The thing was, I wasn't happy. I lived for my dad, but I resented the fact that I was alive and he wasn't. I will always live with that guilt." It didn't matter what happened with the Mimics or what he and Yugo talked about. Yuma's regret for disobeying his father back then would not go away no matter how much time passed. "I was simply going through the motions of living."
Yuma leaned back in his seat, knocking his head against it. He looked up to meet the attentive eyes of his friends and smiled. "I also knew my life was limited. I knew I would die earlier than everyone else and accepted this fact. I was fine with it." He chuckled softly. There was nothing funny about this, but well..."I realized a while back that fact changed. Something I decided was inevitable so I had no choice but to accept it now scares me." The admission, saying it out loud, burned Yuma's tongue. "Because when I came here, I met Osamu and Chika and Jin-san and began to learn what fun was again. Then I joined Border and met you all and each day became more and more fun. I realized that I'm now scared of dying so early and losing all of this."
"Then why–" Shun started.
Yuma smiled sadly, looking down at his ring. "The worst thing is, I can't change the fact that I'm dying. Trying to, trying to bring hope into my life that I don't have to die only makes it worse when I learn that it won't work and I have to accept my death again so it's just easier to not try." At the very least, he got these five years his father bought him. He only wished he had come to Japan sooner and gotten to spend more time with everyone.
"You're a damn moron." Yuma's head snapped up to meet Kageura's glare from across the table. "When have you ever taken the easy route? You go full throttle into every task, no matter how hard or dangerous it is."
Yuma went to open his mouth to retort that only happened in the ranks wars when there was no true risk excepts points that would help a team rise in rank, but the words never escaped his mouth because it would be a lie. While Yuma was strategic, when it came down to the wire, he chose strategic reckless maneuvers. It wasn't true of every fight, just the ones with powerful opponents that required more risky moves that would throw his enemies off and allow him to win.
"Why is trying to fight for your own life so hard?" Shun asked. "Do you still feel guilt and like you deserve to die for what happened?"
Murakami choked on his water at Shun's question. It was a question that needed asked, but Murakami was not expecting Shun to be the one to ask such a difficult, loaded question. Though to be fair to Shun, he knew this was going to be a heavy conversation and he didn't run from it. If he's going to listen to the conversation, then he best be ready to partake in the difficult parts of it and it seemed he was. He had certainly grown up a lot in the last few months.
Yuma shook his head. "That guilt is never going to go away, Shun, but I'm not going through the motions of life and just waiting for my death to arrive. I do want to live, but I had to accept my death a long time ago." He hesitated for a moment before glancing up at his friends. "I thought..."
"What? That we accepted it too?" Murakami asked.
Yuma shrugged.
"Why the hell would we have done that?" Kageura demanded.
Murakami held up a hand to silence Kageura and anything Shun was about to say. "That was on us as much as it was on Kuga." He gave the other two a sharp look when they looked like they were about to protest. "We never properly discussed this as we all just tended to avoid the topic of Kuga's impending death because of how difficult the topic is, so it's natural for Kuga to think we came to accept it."
Kageura scoffed. "It doesn't make him any less dumb. What kind of friends would accept that so easily?"
"It's not like you can do anything to change my situation so why wouldn't you?" Yuma retorted.
"Because I don't give up." Kageura snapped. "Since when do you?"