Jess tossed and turned for what felt like hours. He tried to fall asleep; he really did, he didn't want to give Lorelai any reason to stop this sorta situation from ever happening again. Eventually, he called it the loss that it was and sat up. He wasn't sure how to feel right then, he was sleeping at his girlfriend's house, which was nothing to sneeze at, even if he was left on the couch, it was a step in the right direction. Then again, the only reason he was invited was because his mother was there; she was in Stars Hollow, asking for a second, err, thirty-seventh chance, and he didn't know what to do about it. If she had come to him at her lowest, it wouldn't have even been a question. No matter how she treated him, he loved his mom, so if she needed help, nothing was going to stop him from giving it to her, no matter what the personal cost. But she was fine; she just wanted to make the past up to him. So she said, anyway, though he had heard that before, but he couldn't help but think it was more like she wanted a chance to prove she was okay to someone who actually cared. Like she didn't want to be with him and make a better life; she just wanted someone to tell her she was doing great and that they were proud of her.

Well, there was no fucking way Jess was going to be that person for her again. No, he figured the best option for him was to stay as far away as possible from his mother, even if that meant leaving. He learned this town pretty well over the last few months, and he was pretty sure he could avoid her during the next day or two, but he had no idea how long she was planning on staying, so he wasn't sure if that'd work. No, maybe it'd be best to go with his original plan and hop on a bus and ride until he was out of money. No, he was so close to getting that goddamn car, he was sure he could work it out, especially because he was planning to have a month or two of insurance before buying, but now, fuck that, all he had to do was get out of town and go a few towns over before stopping and looking for an off the books job to make just enough money to move on to the next town. It wasn't like he wasn't ready for this; he'd been planning this since he was young enough to know his mom wasn't right, and there had been a few times in the past he was sure he should leave, but his love for his mom caused him to stay. This was different, though; he hadn't seen her, hadn't looked into her eyes that were full of need and affection yet, he could leave right now without feeling bad for her at all. Then again, he had recently, a few hours ago, before bed, looked into Rory's eyes, which were full of the same things his mom's had, just in different ways, different meanings, and he couldn't do that to her. He love—er—cared about her too much.

With one more overdramatic sigh, he threw the quilt that Lorelai gave him off of him and sat up, rubbing his hands over his face. Lorelai was right; there was no way this couch could be considered comfortable. Anyway, these thoughts had been going through his head for hours, and he was getting nowhere. He was cut in half, that part inside of him, the part he was sure came from his father, was telling him to run, while the other half of him knew if he did that, he'd ruin everything he worked for here over the last few months. And he couldn't do that. Sure, he liked to play it close to the vest and make everyone in town think he didn't care, but he did. Of course, he did, how could he turn down something like people caring for him when he'd never had it before? Especially Rory. No, he wanted to run; his body had been telling him to do it for months if he only had listened, but he couldn't now. No, if he was going to do that, he should have done it while Rory was still with Dean before he fucked up her perfect relationship, her perfect life.

He rolled his eyes, isn't that what he always did? Fucked up good things? Good people, people who tried to get close to him? He sighed, he needed a smoke; he was going in circles again, and it's been hours. Obviously, he wasn't going to sleep tonight. So he stood, and with one last forlorn look at the couch, he walked out onto the porch. He lit up his cigarette and took a long drag, the tension in his body leaving with the exhale. He leaned over the railing and looked out into the yard, lost in thought. So lost in thought, he didn't hear the front door opening or someone walking over to him. It wasn't until he felt Rory wrap her arms around his waist from behind that he realized he wasn't alone anymore. Just barely, he was able to stop his instinctual reaction to jump, turn around, and swing to defend himself. Thank god he was getting better at that; he could really hurt someone, most of all Rory.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"No. You too?"

"No. I was worried about you," she said, resting her head on his back, she sounded half asleep.

"Why?"

He could picture the incredulous quirk of her eyebrow as she replied, "You know why."

"Yeah, maybe I do, but it's nothing you need to worry about."

"Of course, I'm going to worry; you're my boyfriend. I lov—I really care about you."

Jess froze, and there she went, almost saying it again. Sure, for the second time, she was tired, but she almost said it. He couldn't ignore it this time, pretend he misheard her or she didn't mean it because she was mostly asleep. He dropped the cigarette in the cup that was left outside for him and turned in her arms, trying to make eye contact, but she was avoiding it, using her tiredness to lean on his chest. "Rory…"

"Hmm?" She said, not moving a muscle.

"Rory," He said, this time much more serious, with no question in his tone.

Slowly, Rory looked up at him sheepishly, flicking her eyes from him every few moments. Finally, it seems she takes a deep breath, and her back straightens as she looks at him and doesn't look away after, "Yeah?"

"Did you just… do you?" He shook his head, planning on dropping the question, it was silly anyway, as if someone as perfect as her would fall for someone like him. "Never mind."

Her hands, which were resting idly on his chest along with her head, slid up to his neck, his jaw, and finally to his face, angling it so he was looking right at her. She knew that look of his, and she couldn't let him think that she didn't love him when she did, she made sure to be looking deep into his eyes seriously, she was surprised to see uncertainty, maybe even a little bit of fear. Still, she took a deep breath and said what she needed to, "I love you."

The silence afterward was excruciating for Rory, every second that passed made her start to regret admitting that to him, she'd known it for a while, she figured it out with her mother, but saying it out loud to him was a completely different situation. She was knocked out of her spiraling thoughts when he stole her lips with his, if she thought he knew how to kiss before, she was just fooling herself. She knew they'd kissed passionately before, but something about this was so much more intense, so much more real. She felt herself sink into him, her hands that were holding his face wrapped around his neck, played with his hair, moved to his chest; she couldn't keep them still, she wanted to feel all of him.

It seemed Jess' head was in the same place because before she knew it, he was walking her backward until her back was up against the siding of her house, and his hands started roaming. First, his hands rested on her hips as his thumbs rubbed lazy circles, then they moved around her body to her ass. Rory was surprised at the sound of pleasure that left her when he squeezed her butt hard. Then they moved to her breasts, kneading them, bringing more sounds from Rory. It was the first time Jess's lips left hers, so he could travel to her ears, kissing and nipping every inch of her along the way.

"Shhh," He warned, reminding her that her mother was only a few feet away, but she was too lost to care.

"Bedroom," Rory said simply.

"Rory, what?" He asked, pulling away from her for the first time.

"Take me to my bedroom," She said as she grabbed his head to pull him back to her, " her lips moved to his chin, then his neck, "just be quiet."

Jess let out a visceral groan before lifting her up, Rory's legs automatically wrapped around him as he blindly made his way to the front door. Eventually, they made it inside, not without a few bumps and noises along the way. Rory was sure each of them would have a bruise or two, and That was why she unwrapped herself from him. She opened her eyes and saw fear and reaction on his face, instead of saying anything, she simply grabbed his hand and started walking over to her room, after a moment, he followed silently behind.

Though they were already working to keep quiet, Jess shut the door behind them, leaving them completely alone in her room. It sounded deathly quiet; he was sure they'd be able to hear a pin drop, no, a grain of sugar drop. It was clear Rory was nervous, fuck, if Jess were being honest, he was nervous too. He had no idea what Rory wanted, why she brought him in here. He wasn't going to risk being kicked out, so instead of asking anything, he closed the distance between them again, he was never any good at talking anyway. Jess started walking them to her bed, and when Rory's legs hit it, she allowed herself to bend her legs and fall back onto it, Jess followed with her, ending up on top of her, cupping her face.

They stayed just like that for a long time, kissing each other, even though Jess didn't tell her he loved her back, she felt it in the kiss. Plus, she learned not to push your partner into saying something they weren't ready for; she wasn't going to be like Dean and scream at him before breaking off their relationship. No, she could wait for a while until he was ready. Jess's mouth, moving to her neck, quickly kicked Dean and any other substantial thoughts out of her head. She wasn't sure how Jess was able to touch completely normal, insensitive parts of her and set her on fire.

She gasped when he started moving lower, even though he'd explored her once before, it felt like the first time all over again, especially when he took her breast in his mouth, the only thing between them was the flimsy teeshirt she used as pajamas. She let out a high-pitched sound and instinctively thrust her chest outwards, closer to him, needing more. Her hands ran up and down his back, and without thinking about it too much, the next time her hands went upwards towards his neck, she took his shirt with them.

His thumbs, still making little circles on her hips, slowly started moving south, running his thumb slightly under the waistband and underwear. For the first time since they made it into the room, he pulled his mouth off of her and pulled his face far enough away to make eye contact with her.

Rory's breathing was rough; she was almost panting at this point, Jess couldn't help but think the words raw and needy when looking into her eyes. She nodded her head frantically; she didn't give him a chance to question her anymore because she grabbed his face and pulled him in for another kiss. After another second of hesitation, his hand slipped under the waistband and underwear, Rory spread her legs, making more room. She let out a gasp when she felt his hand touch her center. He was hot-blooded but still cooler than she was, and the temperature difference shocked her. It wasn't long before Jess was moving his hands in ways that made her turn her head into the pillow to muffle all the sounds she was making. A second later, Jess' free hand grabbed her chin and roughly turned it, making her face him, he brought his mouth down on hers, kissing her hungrily, eating every sound she made.

Rory couldn't really think straight with all the pleasure swirling around her lower half, the tension building, knowing she was getting close, but she was conscious enough to know she wanted more than this. Tentatively, she trailed her hand down his stomach, enjoying the hitch in his breath she more felt than heard when she reached under his belly button. She didn't stop her trail downward; she kept moving, and she kept exploring. Jess had no intention of stopping her, even if he wasn't so caught up in her, her kisses, the feel of her against his fingers, the sounds of pleasure she let out. But his eyes did open wide when he felt her cup him, clearly feeling up a part of him she never touched before. Before he could stop himself, instincts made him thrust forward to get more friction, more sensation, more anything, just more. Thankfully, it didn't slow Rory down; it was clear to him that she was just exploring, trying to take information out of this and learn. That was Rory, after all, but that didn't stop him from enjoying the pleasure she was bringing him.

Finally, Rory built up the guts to travel under his waistband, and when she wrapped her hand around him for the first time, Jess couldn't stop the moan that left his mouth or the pause in the rhyme his hand was making to bring her pleasure. His thumb circled her clit, and one then two fingers entered her, thrusting slowly before picking up speed. Rory seemed to copy him as his fingers pumped into her faster, her grip became harder as she picked up speed, running her hand up and down his member. She knew she was doing good by his moans and when his attention left her, messing up his pace and rhythm inside her.

It wasn't long before their mouths met again roughly, working hard to eat each other's sounds of pleasure. Rory had the absent thought that if her mother wasn't such a sound sleeper, they'd so be caught by now. Rory felt the pressure inside her building, felt Jess' thrusts into her hand losing rhythm, felt herself squeezing his fingers, both so close to falling over the edge, with one last hard squeeze from her and his thumb picking up speed, they both fell over the edge, cumming together, moaning into each other's mouths. The comedown was slow, neither ready to let go of each other yet. Finally, Jess pulled his hand out of her pants and rolled over, panting so they were both lying next to each other. It wasn't easy with such a small bed, but he had no problem with the easy excuse to cuddle up closer to Rory.

After one, two, three more deep breaths, he opened his mouth and finally got the words out. "I love you too."

He didn't have to look at Rory; he heard the smile in her voice, "You do?"

"Of course I do. Look at you; any man would be an idiot not to fall in love with you." He scrunched his face in a scowl, trying to ignore the supreme discomfort of sitting in the pants you've recently finished in.

She turned to look at him with a huge smile before leaning over and kissing him, this time much more chastely, clearly filled with love, he immediately forgot how uncomfortable he was. They broke the kiss, and she rested her head on his shoulder, it wasn't long before he heard her breath start to even out. With a sigh of regret, he decided to do the responsible thing, "I have to go."

Her head shot right up into the air, and he hated the insecurity in her tone when she said, "You do? Jess, it's past midnight! You can't leave!"

"I'm not going anywhere, Ror, just out to the living room. Lorelai could come down at any time."

"Oh, okay." She said forlornly, "Yeah, you're probably right."

"I do have to leave in the morning." He said, determined, "I have to go talk to my mom."

"You do?" She asked again, surprised, "I thought you didn't want to see her."

"I don't?" Neither were sure if he was asking or telling, "I have to. She is my mom, after all."

"Oh, yeah," She said, trying to sound cheery, but something about this situation made her feel nervous, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Come with me." He said, no doubt in his tone.

"What?" She asked, full of doubt and confusion.

"Yeah, just because I know I have to talk to her doesn't mean I want to." He was surprised he was opening up this much, even to Rory, his girlfriend, the person he was in love with. Wow, it felt good no longer trying to deny that fact. "Plus, you're not just going to be there to make this awkward situation less awkward for me, I want her to meet someone who's important to me. I've never introduced her to a girl before. Or, I guess, girlfriend. Two of my closest friends in New York are girls, so she's met them before, but that's different." He rambled on, trying to subside his nervousness. It wasn't as if he thought she'd say no, but it was still a first for him, and it was making him anxious.

She smiled at him, "Well then, I'll be there, all the moral support you could need."

He smiled at her and leaned in for one more kiss before standing up with a groan and adjusting his clothes, trying to make it look like they weren't just fooling around, with one more look at her and a small smile, he opened her bedroom door just enough to make sure the coast was clear. He started to leave but stopped and said his goodbyes before making his way back to the couch, "Night, Ror."

"Night, Jess," She said as the door closed behind him. She smiled widely, not believing what she had just let happen with her mom right above her, she felt a little guilty. The guilt went away when she remembered Jess loved her, somewhere deep down, she knew he did, but it meant something completely different hearing it. She fell asleep before she even realized she was tired, she was so relaxed. When Jess made it into the living room, he quickly changed into new pajama pants and laid down on the couch; it wasn't surprising to him that it was much easier to fall asleep this time around.

When he woke up the next morning, it was because the sun was shining into his eyes straight from the window with curtains so small they didn't cover a fifth of the window itself. It was fine; he felt fully rested, even when he looked at the clock and realized it was only seven, so he got four hours of sleep tops. He heard quiet chattering from the living room, signaling the Gilmore Girls were awake, so he sat up and rubbed his hands over his face before standing up and making his way to where he smelled the fresh coffee coming from.

"Morning, Jess! Coffee is on the counter!" Lorelai said, way too chipper for this early in the morning.

"Mhrgh," He said in some semblance of acknowledgment.

"Not a morning person, I see. Rory, what have I told you about picking cranky boyfriends?"

"That we're all jerks in the morning, it's how they act after they get the coffee in them that matters."

"That's my girl. If we were judged by how we were before caffeine, no one would ever come near us again."

"Amen, sister friend."

"Grrm," Jess growled in agreement before he sat down at the kitchen table with them. He took a long sip before feeling more like himself. "I hate mornings."

"Don't we all," Lorelai agreed. "Sorry about Sir Lumps A lot?"

"Sir Lumps A Lot?"

"Our couch, duh?" Lorelai said as if it was the clearest thing in the world.

"Ahh." He said, understanding, "It wasn't too bad. Well, after my late night star gazing."

"Late-night star gazing?" Lorelai didn't miss the quick look between the two kids. She really wished she had; she didn't like it's implications, not one bit.

"After hours of tossing and turning on Sir Lumps A Lot, I needed to stretch my muscles."

"Ahh, your filthy habit strikes again," Lorela said, sticking her tongue out in disgust.

"You caught me."

"Okay, Jess," Lorelai said, completely serious, dropping her pop tart on the plate with Ferver. "We have to talk. We're thinking about offering you an official invitation to the group. But there's one thing stopping us. And that is…" she drummed her hands on the table in a drum roll, "That's right, your filthy habit, smoking! You must quit smoking if you ever wanna be in the in crowd. Plus, you know, cancer, you should really take that into account."

Jess rolled his eyes but didn't say anything else to continue that line of conversation. The rest of 'breakfast' went on like that: lots of banter, some mild mean jokes that everyone knew meant no harm and laughs. By the time they got up from the kitchen table, Jess was still starving (pop tarts weren't his thing), but he was ready to go to Luke's and talk to his mom. It seemed like he didn't even have to say anything to Rory because she stood up when he did and told him she'd be ready in just a minute. That left Lorelai and him alone. Sure, they'd gotten to a better place after their fight, and it meant a lot to him that she didn't second-guess letting him stay there after his mom showed up in town, but it was still a little awkward.

Lorelai cleared her throat, "So, uhh, you're going to see your mom? And Rory's going with you?"

"Yup."

"Oh, that's good. It's a big change from last night, though, what happened?"

"Not sure, really, hours of tossing and turning will do that to you." He said, not missing a beat.

"Oh yeah, my couch, the spot of many epiphanies, that'll be $1000."

"Woah, steep price."

"Oh yeah, and it's worth every penny. You've seen the results."

"How about an IOU?"

She sighed dramatically, "I suppose, but interest adds on every day."

"I'll accept those consequences."

Lorelai opened her mouth to volly something back, but Rory came out of her room, "Ready to go?"

"Yup," He said, trying to sound unbothered and not nervous at all. He wasn't sure how he was doing, but going by the looks on the Gilmore Girl's face, he managed it.

The walk to Luke's was silent but completely comfortable, their hands firmly grasped in each other. Jess wasn't used to this, not that he'd admit it out loud, but he was leaning on someone, he had people who were supporting him, and he was letting them. It was messing with his head a little, if he was being honest. Yeah, sure, since he came to this wacky town, he'd seen people who really cared about each other, people who had no problem going out of their way to help their friends and neighbors, but it was weird realizing for the first time that he was actually a part of it now, not just a bystander. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, really.

They walked into Luke's it was just after the breakfast rush. Luke looked like he'd been put through the wringer, and that was when Jess remembered that he was supposed to work the morning shift that day and completely skipped it. He had a feeling Lorelai talked to Luke; knowing her, she wouldn't let Luke think Jess just disappeared if she knew differently. When Luke noticed him, his face visibly lightened like he'd been worrying. Jess took a surreptitious look around the room, but she wasn't there, she was probably still passed out upstairs, she was never a morning person.

"Jess, hey. How ya doing, kid?" Luke said as he walked from behind the counter over to him. He opened his arms as if to hug him, but then he thought better of it and awkwardly put his hands back down at his sides before lifting one back up and patting Jess' shoulders twice just as awkwardly.

"Fine."

"Oh, well, that's good," Luke said, fumbling with his hat, Jess knew that meant he was feeling supremely uncomfortable. It made Jess want to laugh, but he held it in.

"So, uh, where is she?"

"Upstairs, in the kitchen making breakfast."

Jess gave him an incredulous look, not just because she was right on top of a diner but because she'd never cooked a day in her life before. "Are you checking in, making sure she doesn't burn down the place?"

Luke chuckled, "Every five minutes." The three stood there silently, not sure what else to say; there was a big elephant in the room that hadn't yet been addressed. Luke eventually cleared his throat, "So, uh, did you two eat? Pancakes? Eggs?"

Rory perked up, "Yes, please, I'm starving."

Jess looked at her incredulously, "You just finished eating two packs of pop tarts."

"Have you ever heard of pre-breakfast? What, were you born in a barn? Pre-breakfast is a staple of the American lifestyle. That was pre-breakfast, now it's time for breakfast-breakfast."

"Silly me, how could I have forgotten," he said dryly.

"Jess? Hungry?" Luke said with a small smile after watching the two young lovebirds. He'd never say this out loud, but they were a cute couple, and he was happy for them and thought they were good for each other.

"Uh, yeah," Jess said, his eyes flicking to the stairs for the thousandth time since he walked in. Luke and Rory noticed.

"Good, uh, why don't you two sit down? I'll bring it right out."

"I'm working today, right?"

"Oh yeah, don't worry about it today, I've got it handled. You've got more important things to worry about."

Jess took a deep breath, and he let it out as a sigh, "Right. I should probably get to it then."

Jess took a step towards the stairs, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him, he turned to look and saw it was Luke, who almost looked as uncomfortable as Jess felt, "Uh, listen, go easy on her, okay? I know that's not a fair thing to ask you, but she's your mom, and even though it's no excuse, some of the problems she had aren't all her fault, you know, there's, um, genetics, right? I think that's what I read, and did you know addiction is a disease? I know I sure didn't, but apparently it is."

"Luke, I don't think whatever self-help books you're reading are going to do us any good here."

"Yeah, yeah, you're probably right," He said, taking off his hat this time before putting it back on, "Just go easy, okay?"

Jess worked hard not to let his aggravation show. He knew Liz was Luke's sister, but Luke promised he'd have Jess' back no matter what, and right now, it seemed like he was more worried about Liz being happy and comfortable. He knew it was stupid to trust what Luke said, at least he could take comfort in the fact that he was right. So he replied shortly, "Right."

Jess turned to take a step toward the stairs when he was stopped again, this time, the hand on his shoulder was much more dainty; he turned and saw Rory looking at him worriedly, "Uh, I guess I'll wait down here? Unless you want me to come up with you?"

His lips quirked up, and some of the tension eased from him at her words, "You can wait here. Hopefully, this won't take too long."

"Okay, I'll stay here and make sure no one takes your breakfast."

"Thanks. Kirk has been eyeing it, and you know I don't trust him."

"Anyone who does is a fool."

He rested his hand on her hip for a second and squeezed before finally turning and walking up the stairs with no more interruptions. He just wanted to get this over with, hear whatever bull shit his mother was spewing this time, and send her on her way. Though he doubted it'd be that easy, with his mother, it never was.