"Hey Ollie- want to go with me to the dojo?" Tommy asked as he knocked on the teenager's door and peeked his head in. Ollie gave him a confused look, but scrambled out of his bed to get his dojo gear. He had spent a lot of time repairing things with his siblings, but he had been looking for opportunities to spend time with his dad as well. Tommy had been getting back to some semblance of normal when it came to his schedule, but he knew that Ollie desperately needed some one on one time that he had not been able to give him. "I've got to do some admin work, but I think we'll have time to spar if you want."
"You trust me with that?" Ollie asked as he stood in front of him and Tommy just smiled as he grabbed his bag. It would take more than an evil stint for Ollie to lose his trust. "But I…should I even do that anymore?"
"She would have used you no matter what skills you had, Ollie. Now, I want to help you learn to fight it, if she tries it again," Tommy said as he watched the fear go through Ollie. Ollie thought that this was over, but Tommy knew that there was always a chance that Hayley had laid other plans around how to use Ollie. He had lived that reality in what felt like another lifetime and he hoped that Ollie wouldn't repeat it.. "I don't want that to happen, but I still haven't been able to figure out exactly what she did to make you susceptible. I was able to make something that would break down the compound more quickly, but I don't know if she had plans for this happening."
"I don't want to hurt Mom or Opal or…" Ollie trailed off as Tommy put an arm around him as they walked out of the house. His mom was helping out until after Kim's second surgery and that meant he could take time to do things like this for his kids. Even though Kim had come home earlier this week, she was still struggling with more than they had told their children about and that added to his stress. It was something they were going to find out about, but they thought it was easier to wait it out and see what improved with the second surgery. "Dad- I know what I did and I never want to be a threat to them again."
"I know and we're going to do everything that we can to stop that from happening. I don't want you to stop doing all the things you love, if you need some time away or just want to hang out and not spar- that's fine," Tommy said as Ollie let out a sigh of relief and Tommy pulled him into a hug. "I've lived a lot of this Ollie and I prayed you would never have to live it. I will do everything in my power to keep you from adding to these sorts of memories."
"Crap," Kim muttered under her breath as she looked at the shattered glass around her. Her left hand had just gone out on her and with it went her lunch. "No, no, no. Stop Opal."
"Got ya," Landon said as he scooped her up and then looked at the mess at Kim's feet. "Nana! It's okay Mom, we all spill things sometimes."
Kim squeezed her eyes shut as she took in a shaky breath. She was working so hard, but it felt like nothing was changing. If anything, most days felt like she was getting worse. She had never been more appreciative of Tommy than she had been over the last week. While Janice was helping around the house, Tommy was, somehow, splitting his time between school, the dojo, the kids, and her. And while she appreciated that, she appreciated the last ten years more. They were raising amazing children who had empathy and understanding- even with them. It was the one thing that made it bearable that she was barely functioning in so many ways.
"You okay?" Janice asked as Kim nodded as she held her arm to her chest and she heard Janice ushering the kids out as she started cleaning. "It give out on you again?"
"Yeah. I should probably use some of Opal's sippy cups and plastic plates for a bit," Kim forced out as Janice grabbed her shoulder and she looked up at her. "How…how am I supposed to…"
"It takes time and you've still got one more surgery. How about you go easy on yourself until after that?" Janice suggested as Kim just shook her head. She hated being like this- she needed to be able to do things for her family. "I know you don't like this, but all they see is their mom and they'll remember how hard you worked to get back to yourself and you'll show them all of that, but right now- go easy on yourself."
"I'm not sure I know how to do that," Kim whispered as she heard the front door open and her boys laughter filled the room, probably from a joke Ollie had made. "It's good to hear them laughing."
"Hey beautiful," Tommy whispered as he pulled her back against his body and angled around the helmet to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Your hand being a pita again?"
"Yeah," Kim muttered as she let out a shaky breath as he moved around her and started making her another plate. "Tommy. I can do it."
"I know, but Ollie and I didn't grab anything while we were out- so I'm making myself a plate too," Tommy said as she glared at him and he held his hands up. "You make the plates- I carry?"
"Deal," Kim said as she looked over at Ollie and he gave her a tentative smile. "You have a good time?"
"Yeah, I was able to catch up with Braxton, Autumn, and Seth," Ollie said as she smiled at the names of some of his best friends. If he was going to get through this, he was going to have to lean into those friendships. "Autumn asked if I could come over for movie night."
"I don't have a problem with that," Kim said as she looked over at Tommy and saw that he was firmly concentrating on keeping his face neutral. So this was more than just the normal movie night. "You know the rules."
"Be home by 11, call if I'm going to be late," Ollie said as he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and then ran off to shower before heading back out. "Love you, Mom!"
"You up for the exercises you're supposed to work on?" Tommy asked as he wrapped his arms around her and settled her back against his chest. He felt her tense and he knew that she didn't want to do them, he knew that she was feeling as hopeless about them as he was, but they both knew she had to try them. "How about just a set?"
"I need something different, Tommy. After this can be gone- we're going to have to talk to them about other exercises because this isn't doing it," Kim said as she motioned to her helmet with her left hand and dropped the knife she had been holding. It clanged off the plate and landed on the floor as she ground her teeth together. "Damn it. I need to be able to…I need to feel like…I can't be a burden to you."
"Hey, you're not. Remember after each of the kids were born, how you felt then? When you spent the better part of six weeks just making sure our little human stayed alive and that you healed?" Tommy asked as he spun her around in his arms and she looked up at him. So much passed through them with that look, the hopelessness and frustration she felt, the depression at not being back to normal, the pain that she was a burden to him and he met her with compassion and love. The two things that she needed most at that very moment. "This is another of those times."
"It's always me though. It's never you…you always take care of…" Kim trailed off as he leaned down to kiss her and she felt something change in his demeanor. She could tell that he didn't know what exactly to say, but he was hoping the kiss would communicate it. "Babe?"
"You take care of me, of us- every day in so many ways that you don't even realize. I know you can't see it and I know if I tell you everything you do you'd just say it's your job, but it is so much more than that. God, I wish you could see what I see sometimes," Tommy whispered as he leaned down to give her another kiss and hoped that it would convey some of what he didn't have the words for.
"Ewwwwww! Daddy's kissing Mommy!" Sean yelled as Tommy gave her one more kiss and then reached around her to grab their food. Leave it to one of their kids to always call them out for any public displays of affection and bring some much needed levity to their lives.
"Daddy kissing Mommy is part of how you got here, bub," Tommy said as Sean pulled another grossed out face and then sprinted from the room. "I know I'm going to regret that later, but that face…"
"Oh that was 100% worth it," Kim said with a smile as they settled at the table and she took in another deep breath. "Thank you for pulling me out of that tailspin."
"Any time."
