Chapter Four: The Vermilion Phoenix
A month of travel. The three masters had gradually left the deep gorges of their native Li River Valley, and started to enter central China through Sichuan in the direction of the Qin Mountains. Crossing the Yangtze had provided its own unique challenges, but they'd been lucky enough to find a ferry to take them across. Every day the foliage around them became progressively thinner, the morning air becoming less humid and instead somewhat brisk.
The two males had hated the tight schedule they were keeping, but they had to admit it was the only way to get to Xiangyang that didn't involve months of slow-moving caravan routes. Tigress, of course, had known this from the outset; she was a leader, all-too aware of her duty to make the unpopular decisions and keep them moving, just as she always had with the Five.
Crane was fine with the breakneck pace, since he could just fly over any difficult terrain, but he could only assume how hard the journey would be for Po at this speed. For the first few days, the panda was resolute, doing his best to not show any sign of fatigue or hunger. But it was soon apparent that his anatomy just wasn't suited for such non-stop travel as he was lagging constantly. Despite his humble protests, the avian took pity on him and began flying him over anything that involved going uphill. In retrospect, he had done it just as much to keep Tigress off their asses as it had been for pity.
As far as the social interaction was concerned, it was about what the avian had expected. He ended up having Po talking to him most of the time, and that had its ups and downs like anything else. While the panda had an annoying fascination with what it had been like when Crane was a "Jombie," he spent just as much time gushing about how much respect he had for the bird's skill, his unique redirecting style of Kung Fu, and his artistic savvy.
Tigress, on the other hand, was just as distant physically as she was socially. She was often quietly trekking well ahead of them, never for an instant growing complacent in her search for threats. Could they really fault her though? She was, after all, carrying something like a hundred-thousand wén in valuables strapped to her back; the immense payment Master Shifu had granted them to purchase the relic. Still, most of the time the tiger made it seem like she wasn't even there.
One night amidst their makeshift camp after a particularly boring day of travel, Crane gave in to Po's ceaseless curiosity.
"It wasn't a great experience, as you can imagine. Ever had the nightmare where you can't move your limbs, helpless to stop something terrible?"
"Yeah. Those are like… the worst ones."
Nearby, Tigress rolled over in her sleep with a grunt, annoyed that they were going to start talking again; her tail even flicked at them in a primitive "shut up" motion.
"Well, that's what it was like. You still feel the world around you, see through your own eyes… but you can't control your body at all. Everything you do is what they want you to do and everything you see they see too; that is, whoever is controlling you. They can dictate your every move before you can even think to fight against it. It feels like every bone in your body has turned to ice… you can even feel their presence in your head from time to time."
"Eww. Creepy." Po shuddered.
"Oh, and by the way, while we're on the subject…" The bird scratched at his chest with the talons of his feet, averting his gaze to the surrounding treeline. "Did you have two of your panda friends crush me in midair as part of your plan to defeat Kai?"
Po smiled guiltily. "Heh… maybe?"
"Yeah, just so you know, that hurt like a bitch."
"Hey, I said I was sorry!" Po said, laughing; his remorse was short lived as he recalled the event in question. "But I gotta say, that was pretty hilarious!"
The bird couldn't ever stay upset at the panda for long, and he sighed, flashing a grin.
"The view of me stuck in the ground beak-first like a chopstick must've been pretty priceless, huh?" And he proceeded to do his best stiff statue act, earning a hearty laugh from the Dragon Warrior. "I should make it my next painting."
Their fun was cut short as Tigress interrupted them. Eyes still closed, she spoke in her typical indifferent fashion and didn't even bother to turn over towards them.
"If you two aren't too busy alerting every bandit in the province to our position, you might want to get some sleep." The two males eyed each other but did not speak. "If we keep a good pace tomorrow, we could be in Xiangyang by the afternoon."
Crane was especially bothered by the feline's intrusion, but his better judgement prevented his thoughts about the tiger from leaving his beak.
The first thing the three masters noticed about Xiangyang was that it was huge, much larger than they anticipated. It was evident that tracking down the owner of the relic might prove harder than Po had made it seem like. The second thing they noticed was the city was ancient. Some of the buildings in the town center looked like they hadn't been the architectural norm for about twelve hundred years.
As they had passed under one of the massive gates in the city walls, Tigress remarked that this was one of the Song Dynasty's northernmost strongholds against the Mongolian puppet states of the Jin. The streets were muddied from recent rains, and there were great masses of people in all directions. Tigress took the lead as they weaved through the maze of wooden and stone buildings.
"This weapon being up for sale will be sure to attract all kinds of trouble. Keep your eyes open for anyone that looks like they don't belong: foreign mercenaries, black market traders, soldiers that aren't wearing the colors of Xiangyang. They'll be able to lead us to whoever the seller is." She kept determinedly cutting a path through the crowd as she spoke. "Crane, I want you to get a height advantage and scout the merchant district. Po, if you could- wait... Po?" She had just looked back and stopped in her tracks.
The panda was gone.
Naturally Po, who had been complaining about the scarcity of food for weeks, went directly into the first eatery he could find. Tigress had lost sight of him as soon as he had caught the scent of food. He was always about ten steps behind the agile tiger master, unless food was involved of course; in those cases, she couldn't hope to keep up with him even with a head start. The tiger set off immediately in the direction she had last seen the panda; Crane was close behind her, trying especially hard to avoid bumping into unsavory individuals. When she saw what building the Dragon Warrior had entered, she shook her head. It was a public house and fight club.
Po.
There was a decently long line to enter the place, and it felt like an hour before they reached the doorman, a massive rhino, at the entrance. Tigress glared at him, unimpressed.
"And just what are you supposed to be?" she asked him coldly.
The rhino acted as if she hadn't said a word.
"Welcome to The Vermilion Phoenix. How tough are you?"
"How tough am I?" Her features contorted in a volatile mix of anger and confusion. "Do you really want to find out?"
From behind Tigress, Crane could tell she was angry; after waiting in this stupid line for so long, she no longer had the patience to deal with this. In another instant he saw the rhino's eyes go wide and his once proud demeanor shrivel away. Whatever he had just seen in her face, Crane knew it had to have been utterly terrifying.
"Uh… that won't be necessary! Go right in." the doorman stammered out, stepping aside abruptly.
The nervous avian watched the tiger walk in confidently. With the view into the establishment unobscured for a brief moment, he could see that the entire place was just one big melee of inebriated disputes and prizefighting.
Po just had to eat at this place, didn't he? All the restaurants in town and he walks into a fight club.
Emerging from his thoughts, the bird now found himself facing the rhino.
"What about you, bird?"
Crane was close enough to smell the doorman's breath, and it was downright awful. He chuckled nervously.
"You know… on second thought, I think I'll just wait here."
Tigress was making her way through the crowded entryway when she heard someone call her name. After a moment of scanning the fracas around her, she spotted the source of the familiar voice. It was Po, sitting at a table downing oversized dumplings like they were nothing. She worked her way across the room through several drunken brawls over towards the panda.
"Po, just how long have you been in here?" He had to move his head a little to the side to avoid an oncoming piece of furniture that splintered against the wall behind him.
"I don't know, hour or so maybe. Have you seen the size of the dumplings here!?"
"What? No! How did you get past the line going out the front door?" She pointed back towards the army of people trying to get into the fight club.
"Oh, so that's the front. Guess that means I came in through the back." He shamelessly engulfed another pawful of the dumplings.
Tigress lowered her face into her palm with a frustrated exhale. An old crocodile with the hoarsest voice she had ever heard came over and spoke to the panda with surprising fondness.
"Another round for our new champion?"
"Hit me."
The croc placed another large bowl of dumplings before the bear. Tigress was still in shock from what the waiter had just said.
"New champion?" she asked, shocked by the implication that Po had picked a fight with someone.
"That's right! This panda has crushed all previous eating records!" the reptile boasted.
Of course he has.
"Po, this is no place for us; fighting for money and crowds is entirely dishon-" Before she could finish, a rather overweight boar had bumped into her from behind. In an instant reflex, she spun around and kicked him clear across the fight club and into the far wall, igniting a rowdy cheer from the entire clientele present. For whatever reason, their praise made her smile... just a little. She turned back to a smirking Dragon Warrior.
"You were saying?" Po mocked sardonically.
Damn.
"Never mind. Did you at least ask anyone here about who might be selling Kung Fu relics?"
The panda, his mouth full, just shook his head.
"Of course you didn't." she said, glaring at him.
Po knew this face well; Shifu would give him the exact same look when he'd done something especially stupid. Oddly enough, it was the intrusion of the crocodile waiter into their conversation that spared him a scolding.
"So you're here for a relic as well?" the croc, who Tigress honestly couldn't tell the gender of, spoke up after overhearing their discourse.
"Yes, do you know anything about who might be selling them?"
"I don't, but that big fella over there probably does. An annoying bastard he is - been going on all day about some relic, strutting around like he owns the place."
Perfect. Just the type of person I like to see brought low.
When Tigress turned around, she saw the crocodile had gestured across the room to the biggest water buffalo she had ever seen. The beast had just finished beating a much smaller desert jackal into a pulp and was roaring victoriously from the bottom of the fight pit. Without hesitation, she left the money she was carrying with Po.
"Wait here."
In response, the panda just shrugged and went back to stuffing his face with food. The tiger master headed back across the fight club and towards the massive warrior. Already well aware of how things were inevitably going to play out, she began loosening her muscles as she weaved between patrons.
"Hey you." she said, borderline tauntingly from above the pit, one leg resting casually on the guard ropes. "Know anything about a magic dagger?"
The colossus smashed the heads of two lightweights together before looking up at her with a smug curiosity.
"What's it to you, cat?" he answered, decking an oncoming attacker without even breaking eye contact.
"I'm looking to buy, same as you. I just want to know where it is." She somersaulted down into the pit with the brute, starting to slowly pace in circles around him. "I was thinking we could have a little wager. You could tell me who's selling - if I beat you in a fight."
The towering landmass stopped to ponder her proposition for a moment, but seemed to make up his mind when his lips widened to a grin.
"Fine. If you beat me, I tell you where to find the boom-boom magic dagger. But if I win... you become my slave."
Though the very thought made her want to puke, she knew this was her best chance to learn the weapon's whereabouts. Besides, she was Master Tigress after all; she wasn't exactly known to lose a fight.
"Deal."
The behemoth huffed proudly, his arrogance evident in the stomping of his hooves as he dug himself in for a fight he obviously expected to win. Tigress began to set her stance as well, ready to face down the monstrosity without any semblance of fear. As drunken onlookers gathered before the start of what was certain to be an epic duel, the water buffalo raised both of his fists towards the ceiling and roared:
"Temutai! Warrior-King of the Qi-Dan!"
Author's Notes:
- This fight club scene is an unusual situation, and each of the three has a different reaction to it: Po's occasional obliviousness comes out pretty strongly here, Tigress (while not in a great mood) might actually enjoy it for the briefest moment, and Crane's overtly nervous/cautious side means he just wants nothing to do with it
- The interaction between the fight club's doorman and Tigress, and the Vermilion Phoenix establishment in general, are a reference to the SpongeBob episode "No Weenies Allowed" (S:3 E:48a); it's one of my personal favorites and I just couldn't resist putting in a reference (roast me if you must lol)
- I arrived at the travel time of four weeks from the part of China where the Valley of Peace is to Xiangyang, by taking the rough distance (~650 miles) and supposing that the three of them average ~25 miles a day = 26 days
- The fact that Po does something stupid that ends up getting them exactly where they need to be to advance the mission... it just seems right to me
- So I finally decided to bring a Legends character into the story; it made sense to me because as the leader of a warrior clan, Temutai would represent one of many parties interested in buying a superweapon
- Last chapter, a reviewer pointed out that Tigress having "weak points" was a bit silly (and I agree completely); it was worded vaguely, so to be clear: I wasn't implying that hitting these spots would drop her instantly like in the show, but instead I was trying to indicate that these are about the only places where she might actually feel a hit
- Thanks for your continued interest! I'm planning for the next chapter to cover quite a lot...