AN: Hello everyone! The last few months have been crazy with settling in after a move. My plan for the remainder of the year is to finish up Just Desserts and then I'll hop back to Generations Rise. Hope you enjoy!
"I get the weekend with Trini?" Kim asked as she stared at Tommy as he finished packing his bag for the weekend. He had just surprised her by letting her know that the kids were going to Janice and Allen's so that she could have some time with Trini. While she had looked forward to some time alone, she was glad that he knew it would be too much to be alone for this amount of time right now. Just yesterday she had nearly caught dinner on fire because she forgot where how to set a timer- which frustrated her to no end. "Tommy…thank you."
"Don't mention it," Tommy said as she crossed her arms and gave him a look. She could tell that he was still dealing with what had happened a few weeks ago and as much as she was trying, he was struggling. She hadn't seen him really struggle since she had woken up from surgery and it hit her that he must have been hiding it from her. He must have been hiding it because he wanted to protect her, like he always had. The shame washed over her as she let out a shaky breath. This was her Tommy- even with all the differences. She walked over to him and grabbed his hand, pulling his concentration to her.
"I'm mentioning it, because you didn't have to do this for me and you did," Kim emphasized as she saw something flash in his eyes that she couldn't read. "Is there anything I need to do?"
"Just rest and…and…" Tommy trailed off and she knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn't. She knew now how much he had hid from her of what he needed over the last few weeks and her heart ached as she wanted to make things better. Now that she felt like she had something to focus on, she could see him more clearly. She could see when he'd put on the mask for their children and how it never waivered; how it only slipped a tiny bit with her. She could guess that he wasn't used to doing this with her or even with their children this much.
"Get better?" Kim suggested and he gave a small nod as she wrapped her arms around him. She felt him squeeze her tighter and she realized where this felt familiar, it was how he held her whenever she was taken and came back to him whole. But she wasn't whole now and he desperately needed for something to change. "You hold me like this when I come back to you."
She pushed against him a bit and wiggled her hands up to where she could tilt his head down a bit to look at him better. Relief flooded his features and she ran her fingers through his hair. She watched as his eyes closed and she could see how much he enjoyed her touch. She didn't remember him showing how he felt this openly, but then she had a realization- she had barely touched him in, perhaps, months. She certainly knew that she hadn't touched him since she had come back from the hospital.
"How long has it been?" Kim whispered and he opened his eyes and gave her a confused look. Her cheeks flamed red as she realized she was going to have to explain what she meant and this had never been something they openly talked about from what she could remember. By his reaction, she could guess that they had also moved into a place where they spoke more openly about their sex life. "Since we…umm…"
"Oh baby, don't worry about…I'm good," Tommy said as she stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. She knew he was lying, but she also knew he was doing it because he could tell she was not ready to be with him again. She wasn't even sure she could let herself be naked around him again after everything she had seen. She had changed so much and she hated it.
"Hey Dad, I…" Ollie froze as Tommy held up a hand but Kim jumped away from him and he caught her in his arms. She heard Tommy chuckle as she saw the glint in his eyes before he looked up at Ollie. "I'm sorry- the door was open and…"
"It's okay, Ollie. We didn't shut the door," Tommy said as he locked eyes with Kim again and she closed her eyes as he ran his fingers through her hair. She felt her embarrassment that they'd been caught, but his actions let her know that this was somewhat normal around their house. "What's up?"
"I just wanted to say the car is packed and ask if I could go over to Autumn's. She asked me to come for family movie night…" Ollie said as Kim glanced back at him and saw him passing a bottle of water back and forth between his hands. He was nervous. Why was he so nervous?
"Yeah. You said anything…" Tommy trailed off and Ollie just shook his head. Kim looked between the two of them, feeling like this was something she'd normally help with, but she didn't know what to say to him now. In her timeline, she had just nuked their relationship to protect their unborn child. "You'll know when you should say something."
"Or she'll get tired of you waiting and make a move on her own," Kim added and she saw Tommy's smile, apparently she had done that a time or two in their renewed relationship. Ollie quickly headed out and she looked over at him, when she looked at the clock she realized it was nearly 8pm and she gave him a confused look. "This a normal time for family movie night?"
"With Autumn's family? Yeah. Her parents work some long hours, but movie night starts at 8:30 sharp every Friday night," Tommy supplied as he gathered his pajamas and started to make his way back towards the living room. She watched as he paused and she realized he was studying her. "You okay?"
"Stay. Please," Kim whispered as she closed the distance between them and took his pajamas out of his hands. She felt her nerves kick up, but she also wanted him here. She wanted to not be alone again tonight and it was the first time that she had really felt this way since they had been home.
"Okay. I'm going to check on the littles and then I'll be back," Tommy said as she grabbed his hand and pulled him back to her. She felt his body react to her and glanced at his hips then back up at his eyes. They darkened a bit as she gave him another kiss and she heard the groan bubble up from him. He reluctantly pulled away and she watched him turn to leave. She wasn't sure where her mind was at, but she felt that each time they connected like this, a little more of who she was, was coming back.
"Kim!" Trini called as she opened the front door and noticed the door was open leading onto the deck. She walked through the house and saw Kim curled up in one of the deck chairs with a book and a cup of coffee. "Kim?"
"Oh, hey, Trini. Sorry," Kim pulled the headphones out and then placed her things down to give her a hug. "It's good to see you."
"Tommy said something about…" Trini trailed off as Kim quickly looked away from her. She had no idea what Tommy would have told her, but she was still embarrassed about that night. "Did something happen?"
"Yeah. I…umm…can you please help me fill in some blanks?" Kim asked and Trini gave her a confused look. Why wasn't she asking Tommy? Tommy would be able to help her fill in the blanks better than anyone else. "I accused Tommy of cheating on me with Kat and although we talked about it, I just…I'm missing so much. And I don't feel like I can ask him to tell me and…"
"Have you looked at his letters to you? Or your journals?" Trini asked as Kim shook her head. She had journals and letters? "Do you remember having either of those?"
"Umm, no. I know I used to keep a journal, but I didn't know that I still did that," Kim said and Trini settled down next to her, she now understood why Tommy was so exhausted. This wasn't like a normal injury, this wasn't even like the injury she initially had. They had all thought he was exaggerating a bit when he said he just needed a weekend away, but she now saw why he would need this time. He was living with a stranger. "Trini…"
"C'mon, I know where you keep your journals and letters. I know Tommy keeps the letters you give him too, but I have no idea where he'd keep them and I'm not messing with his filing system to try to find them. I still want to be invited to family Christmas," Trini said as Kim carefully placed her things down and Trini took in what she was wearing. She recognized Tommy's old sweatshirt and would guess that the cardigan she was wearing over it was also Tommy's. It struck her how much Kim wanted him around, even if they were struggling. "Why didn't you go with him?"
"Trini, I…I really hurt him and…he just needed time to himself. I'm guessing by your reaction that he doesn't normally do stuff like this. That I don't normally do stuff like this either," Kim said and Trini walked into her closet and saw how empty it was. She looked back at Kim and then motioned to the shelves. What the hell had happened? "I thought I'd made him so mad that I just needed to leave. He went for a walk after I confronted him and I just…I…I'm working on believing him when he says something, even though I don't know this version of him. But I didn't feel like I should put it back together because I just…I keep messing things up."
"Oh Kim…" Trini trailed off as she pulled down the box and passed it over to her as she started pulling down the journals as well. "I get why he wanted some time to himself. He broke a lot of people for you and he loves you, but he regrets some of the decisions he made when he was in denial about who he wanted to be with. You're his person."
"His person?" Kim asked as they walked out the closet and placed the journals, letters, and some other things she didn't recognize on the bed. Kim started opening the books at random and Trini stilled her. "Where's the newest one?"
"I'd guess it's in your bedside table or maybe your office," Trini said and Kim gave her another confused look. "You know, downstairs, off the basement."
"We have a basement?" Kim asked and Trini felt the shock ripple through her. What had Kim done over the last couple of weeks? "I've spent a lot of time in here or with the kids. Tommy never mentioned a basement."
"What the hell is going on with you two?" Trini muttered and she saw the shock in Kim's eyes. She was normally the calm one, but she was having a really hard time processing all of the things that were wrong with Kim and Tommy at the moment. All of the rangers were having a hard time processing the struggles they were so openly having, it was like they had all lost the bit of stability that they were so used to having. "Kim, the two of you don't keep secrets or make accusations or generally do a lot of the things that you've been doing lately. I mean, I could see Tommy not thinking about showing you the layout of the house, but you weren't curious about where Ollie disappears to, to work out for lacrosse?"
"I didn't know that he plays lacrosse…can we just…where do you think I should start?" Kim asked as she motioned to everything in front of her and Trini let out a sigh. She took a moment to decide if Tommy would want her to see the history, but decided that it might be a good place to start. Especially since it had been updated over the years and there was so much in it that Kim was missing.
"Come with me," Trini said as Kim followed her and she weaved through their house and opened a door that Kim had thought was a pantry and they went down into the basement. Trini walked over to a bookshelf and pulled on several books before the shelf swung open and Kim stared over at her. "Tommy wanted it to be discreet, but accessible."
"We have a…holy shit," Kim whispered as she stared at the miniature Command Center and Trini gave her a wary look. "But Tommy got out, we got out."
"Tommy's still Tommy. He got out, but he's still our best so we've asked that he stay available for emergencies. Take a seat, this video is going to be pretty shocking."