DISCLAIMER:
This is a work of fanfiction using characters from The Vampire Diaries TV series developed by Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec which is based on the book series written by L. J. Smith.
I do not claim any ownership over any of the characters or recognizable situations.
This story is for entertainment only and is not part of the official story lines. I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story.
The first thing Bonnie wanted to do when she returned home, back from the prison world, was seek out Kai and break his nose. In truth, she wanted to kill him, rip his heart out and dig her fingers into his eyes.
But this, at least not yet, wasn't feasible.
She may have been consumed by anger and a lingering hurt over the way her life had turned out, but she wasn't stupid enough to believe she could go up against him without some sort of planning.
So, once she whooshed back from the unchanging year of 1994, by sheer will might she add, her mind was lasered in on one thing, and one thing only.
Punching the trademark smug look off of Kai's face.
To her surprise, she didn't even have to go looking for the psycho. No, he was already there, in the Salvatore boarding house.
She had stumbled back to the present in the forest at dusk. It was cold and the leaves were starting to turn to shades of red and orange. This is how Bonnie immediately knew she was home. Or at least out.
She was finally free.
Her devastating relief at this revelation was quickly overpowered by the all consuming rage she felt hot within her bones. The otherwise silent forest came to life with the force of her anger, the force of her magic that had finally come back to life, awoken from its dormant slumber.
She felt whole again, the energy thrumming within her, tingling at the surface of her finger tips. It was simultaneously comforting and crushing to have her magic back.
Her magic that bound itself in the purest forms of energy, the current that fizzed through the world as fire and water and wind and earth. These four beings from which all powers came to life.
Over time she had learned to really feel her magic. To feel it feeding on the earth, craving the strength only the whispers of the wind and the heat of fire could provide it with, provide her with.
While she felt like she was once again herself, her magic was wild and unconstrained. It was itching to bend to the will of her emotions, to ride alongside her anger, to push and pull until the two entities became one.
So she tries to collect herself, taking deep breaths in and out. She forces the magic thrumming beneath her skin to settle, to make its home again. Stretch and take root inside her. Lurking but never attacking. She forces control. Forces her emotions and magic to soothe both at once, to bend under her will.
While they might be one, the two sides of the same coin, it is her who has control.
And then, once sated, she marches off through the darkening forest towards the Salvatore residence.
While her one true desire might be to hurt Kai, the loyalty so deeply ingrained in her, the truth that she must be level headed, must not be selfish, tells her to take care of the more pressing matters first:
Inform the others of her arrival.
This plan of action had her breath catching in her throat, her lulling anger slips to the hollows of her mind as her questions and worries seep in.
How much time had passed? What were they all doing? Did they miss her at all?
She pushes the doubts out of her mind as she comes upon the grand house. Taking another deep breath and shaking her head she attempts a happy face, a warm demeanor.
She could do this. She would do this.
And do it she did.
They were happy to see her, well the people - vampires, who were present. All shocked faces and smiles, welcoming hugs and disbelieving laughs.
Her welcome back train doesn't last that long though as she catches sight of the man she wishes to hurt, to kill, to destroy.
He's standing behind Elena, smug cheerful smile on his face.
"Bonnie" he greets.
Warm calm demeanor forgotten she hones in on her target and starts to stalk towards him but before she gets far, Stefan's in front of her.
"Bonnie," he warns and grabs her arms, all deep voice and watchful eyes. She resists the overwhelming urge to rip him off her, to bring him to his knees and break his bones into dust.
Damon lazily leans himself off the wall he'd taken residence on, "don't panic witchy, he's helping us" he drawls with a dramatic roll of his eyes as he takes a swig of his bourbon.
"Helping you?" she spits out, not nearly as calm and happy as she wishes she would sound. Instead of ripping Stefan off, she rips herself from his grasp and takes a step back, trying to rein in her stormy thoughts.
Elena appears in front of her and her face twists in worry and hurt as Kai smiles that stupid smug smile from behind.
"Bonnie," her voice breaks, face full of desperation, "please, you have to understand!"
Understand?
She feels that same undeniable rage build up in her bones. Of course. Of fucking course.
She channels all her energy into calming down, into quenching the burning anger that had consumed her. She forces herself to soothe the raging anger in her eyes, to step back from her hazy red focus on Kai. She makes herself hear past the ringing in her ears, to listen to the buzzing noise she can hear beyond.
She comes back into herself, into looking at a pleading Elena, a passive Damon and a cautious Stefan.
What she wants to do is scream what about me? What about me? What about what I want? What I went through?
She wants to rage and scream and burn the house down, feel the fire in her veins, the heat on her skin. She wants destruction and the breaking of bones. She wants pain and power all rolled into one, she wants torment and agony as her loyal companions.
But she doesn't do this. She doesn't burn or hurt or scream, because she's Bonnie Bennett, the disposable helpful witch who will fight and fight and give and give until she's nothing but dust and torn flesh.
She does not harm. Instead, she places a soft smile on her face and grabs Elena's hands in her own.
"Of course, Elena." she speaks softly, warmly. Nothing compared to the spitting fire burning deep within. This is nothing but a mere lick of warmth, contained and controlled. Domesticated, tilted to be happy.
Elena's pleading, pitiful face morphs into a small smile, into gentle victory.
Bonnie wants to scratch it off her. To dig her nails into soft skin and rip and pull.
But again, she doesn't. Instead she addresses the room and says, "I'm going to head home now," she makes sure to keep her voice soothing and calm, pull a bittersweet smile on her face, quiver slightly as though she was some damsel in distress, on the edge of falling over, "I'll catch up with you guys later? I'm really tired." she rubs her eyes for the effect.
Elena smiles more fully now before nodding, "of course Bonnie. We'll fill you in on the plan tomorrow."
Stefan nods from behind her.
"Sure judgey." Damon smirks.
Kai says nothing, but his eyes have honed in on her, looking, calculating.
She doesn't stick around to see what he finishes up with. Instead, she nods once more with a smile, squeezes Elena's hands before letting go and turns around to leave.
She walks home, considering she has no car available or friend willing to offer a ride.
No one seems to give much consideration to her predicament. She still doesn't even know how much time has passed, what has happened in her absence, where anyone else is or what became of her prolonged vacancy. How did they explain it? What did they say? Do? Did they worry? Did anyone?
She hadn't yet asked and they hadn't yet offered.
She realizes, however, that she doesn't really care.
She was a witch without a coven. A child without a family. She had no ties here. She knew that the burned ancestors of hers, the same ones that had abandoned her, would remain with her no matter where she went if she so wished to drag them from their hate.
She would create her own place, her own ties, her own objects with intrinsic value. She would create.
And destroy.
They had Kai now and he was, begrudgingly, a more powerful warlock than her. Yes, he had to siphon for his powers but she was sure they'd figured some way around that.
Not her problem.
When she reaches her house, she contemplates. She's not really all that tired, so does she stay a night and ultimately get drawn into their plans tomorrow? Or does she leave now and not look back?
But what about Caroline? What about Matt and Jeremy - the rest of her life here?
...But what about her?
With her mind made up she grabs her stuff, gets in her car and drives.
A/N: I got this idea while in the midst of taking a break from writing another story idea of mine and binge-reading TVD stories. I decided to go with it, write it, and post it without fussing over it too much. I'd love to hear any criticism you have!
Hope everyone is keeping happy and healthy x
(this story is also posted in AO3 under the same username)