Half an hour later, they changed trains. Ash had to admit that it wasn't as easy to find the platform as he had initially thought. The Shinkansen ran on another platform than the regular trains. Eiji explained that the Shinkansen had its own rail network where only the Shinkansen trains ran. The other trains, like the one they had used from Izumo Station, had a different rail network.
"That's why the Shinkansen never arrives late. If the Shinkansen ever arrives late, it means your watch or time itself stopped working. The Shinkansen is always on time down to the last second."
"If you say so." He was a bit distracted by reading all the markings on the floor and the signs on the platform and figuring out where they had to stand to enter the right compartment.
Just as Hana had explained, there were markings on the ground for each compartment. You just had to stand at the right spot and wait for the train to stop. Unlike in New York, people queued one after the other, standing there in a respectable and orderly manner and waiting for their turn.
When the train arrived, people on board the train exited in the same manner, so, as an American who was used to shoving and pushing his way in, he felt like a wild and uneducated barbarian.
It was the same with trash cans. In Japan, trash cans didn't exist, and people were expected to take their own trash home. And still, the station was clean as a whistle without any trash lying around. Japanese people respected those rules and took leftovers back home without polluting their environment or throwing waste on the floor.
Sometimes, he suspected he hadn't arrived in another country and continent but in another world, another universe.
On the platform, Japanese people had one queue for leaving and one for entering the train, and everyone just followed the markings on the ground and the rules. This would never work in New York, Ash thought with a smirk. It wasn't the first time seeing this, although it was the first time riding a Shinkansen, yet, he was still impressed by the organization, respect, and patience people displayed here.
After entering, Eiji looked for their seats, and they quickly put their luggage away and sat down. They had a compartment to themselves, three seats facing each other with a small table attached under the window, which you could fold up or down. You could also close the compartment door for more privacy. The train was pretty empty since it was a weekday and lunchtime, so they had the compartment to themselves.
"Now, let's talk about our plans for Tokyo," Hana suggested with a happy smile.
Eiji smiled back and unfolded a map of Tokyo on the table for all of them to see.
"Our hotel is here in Asakusa, close to the river. It's a charming historic district with many little shops and restaurants or food stalls and is close to the Sky Tree. The Sky Tree is just across the river. It should take 20 minutes to walk there." Ash and Hana nodded in understanding, then Ash looked up at Eiji again, wondering why it had never occurred to him to ask him about it.
"Eiji, I've never asked you that but have you been to Tokyo before?" he asked Eiji curiously, meeting his gaze
"Yes, I have, several times. But mostly for pole vaulting competitions, so I couldn't see much of the city. And once when I was younger with Ibe when he invited me because he won a prize in the photography competition he had entered with my pole vaulting pictures." Sadness overwhelmed Eiji's face again when he remembered Ibe's exhibition.
"It's too bad I can't show them to you. Regret overwhelmed his face, but then he heard Hana giggle and exchange glances with Ash, who grinned back at her.
"Hana, you're even worse than Eiji. You have absolutely no poker face. Come on, show him. I think we've tortured him long enough," he suggested, winking at her.
Hana pulled an envelope out of her backpack and grinned like a Cheshire Cat before handing it to Eiji.
Eiji opened it and pulled out three tickets for the photo exposition. The envelope included a note from Ibe.
Eiji,
sorry that I turned you down the other day regarding the tickets. Hana and Ash had the idea to surprise you, so I participated in their little conspiracy.
You know how convincing Ash can be, and I couldn't say no to your sister because she reminds me so much of you when you were younger.
I've been a bit busy lately, but I'd love to show you around the exhibition. Without meeting you and your incredible photos, I wouldn't be as successful as I am now, so I'm still grateful that your pole vaulting skills inspired me to contact you.
I'm looking forward to seeing you on Friday.
Ibe
"I knew it! That you two were up to something!" Eiji exclaimed, his eyes shooting daggers at them. Then, his eyes softened again. "Thank you! It was a nice surprise.
"Really? How did you come to the conclusion we were up to something?" Ash had assumed that Eiji hadn't noticed his little white lie. Yet, as so many times before, he had underestimated him. Eiji had always noticed every little detail about him, even if he tried to hide it. Even his poker face wasn't safe from Eiji's x-ray vision that could see into the deepest canyon of his soul.
"What gave us away?" he asked, his curiosity winning out.
First of all, Hana, your facial expression and the way you always avoided eye contact or changed the subject gave you away." Hana's features turned bright red with embarrassment, then she just shrugged. She had expected that Eiji would see through her.
"And Ash, you were lying to me. In New York, you always did it to protect me, so I know your tells. You always talk more slowly and calmly if you're lying. And you always look straight into my eyes if you do."
"Why didn't you ask me? Confront me? Or Hana?" he wanted to know.
"You never lie to me unless you have a good reason. And Hana wouldn't act that suspiciously out of anywhere, either. So, I decided to trust both of you."
Ash smiled softly at him. He loved that even after all he had gone through, Eiji's unconditional trust in the people surrounding him had never wavered. It was one of his greatest strengths and an attitude he really admired in him. Even if Eiji caught him or his sister lying or hiding things from him, he didn't assume the worst, as he would have done, but instead decided to trust them.
"Thank you, you two. It was a great idea." Then, he looked at the date on the tickets again.
"So, the tickets are for Friday, so tomorrow," Eiji said thoughtfully. Ash saw how he reflected on organizing their trip to include the exhibition.
"Yes, Ibe told us that he'd have more time for us on that day," Hana clarified the specific date to Eiji.
"On Saturday, it will be more crowded so that Ibe would be busy, and he wanted to give us a tour himself. He wouldn't be able to do that on Saturday."
"I see. In that case, let's plan around it. I suggest that today after checking into our hotel, we'll visit the Sky Tree. It's close to our hotel, just across a bridge. And then, we could have dinner together. Asakusa is perfect for that. I'm sure we'll find something there pretty easily."
"Sounds like a good start." Ash nodded in approval.
"So, when do we go shopping? And Where? Harajuku?" Hana asked excitedly, her eyes sparkling at the mere thought.
"What about tomorrow? The ticket for Ibe's exhibition is in the morning, so in the afternoon we could go shopping," Eiji suggested happily.
"Harajuku would be right next to the exhibition, which is situated in Shinjuku. If we don't find anything there, we could still go to Shibuya."
"Yay! That will be so much fun!"Hana cheered happily, clapping her hands together in pure joy.
"Why do we go shopping? For books?" Ash asked, feeling a bit left behind.
Hana and Eiji burst out laughing at his remark, and he stared at them with a blank face, totally lost.
"No, dummy. For clothes. Hana needs some new ones because she's grown out of them, and we need some, too. Especially you, Ash," Eiji cleared up the misunderstanding.
"No, I don't! I'm fine with the clothes I have." Eiji looked at him as if he had just uttered the most ridiculous thing ever. He shook his head and gave him a look that held impatience and disappointment. Eiji's mom always looked at her kids that way when they said something completely absurd.
"Ash, don't be stupid. In case you haven't noticed, it's already fall. And you don't even have a jacket or a coat for winter. And you own three pairs of jeans, five t-shirts and some hoodies at most. With the winds in Izumo, you'll freeze to death. And you can't borrow mine all the time even if I love seeing you in them. They're too short for you," Eiji patiently reasoned with him, a hint of a scolding undertone in his voice.
Well, Eiji was right, of course. Winter in New York had been cold as well. Izumo, being in the north and close to the sea, would be the same. Now that he thought about it, he realized that all his clothes were suited for spring and summer because they had arrived here in early spring. So, he hadn't bothered to look for warm clothes until now. He had never liked shopping anyway.
At Dino's mansion, clothes had always been chosen for him to turn him into a doll and impress everyone with his beauty. He had been forced to use that beauty to get secret information out of people by seducing them.
That was why the clothes he chose as a gang leader were usually too big and only hung loosely on his body. It was to hide his looks that made him stand out too much and a target. And also because they were usually ruined pretty fast, he always bought clothes in cheap low quality stores or second-hand.
Those memories didn't motivate him to go shopping. That, and he really enjoyed borrowing Eiji's clothes, especially his hoodies... It felt cozy and like home, and he loved that they had Eiji's scent on them...
While he had been lost in thought, Eiji had continued talking to him, elaborating further on what they had to buy.
"... and that's why you need a winter coat and a scarf, warm sweaters or hoodies. And winter shoes. The winter in Izumo is cold, and the wind can get harsh, cutting through your skin like a blade. Of course, you can buy all those things in Izumo, too. Tokyo has more shops and a wider selection, though."
"Whatever," Ash said, sulking. That topic had put him in a bad mood. However, he knew deep down that Eiji was right, and he wouldn't back down when he saw the fierce look in his eyes, so he finally sighed in defeat.
"You're right, of course. I just don't particularly like shopping, that's all."
The fierce look in Eiji's eyes disappeared and was replaced by a soft smile.
"That's because you never chose your clothes yourself, did you? Have you ever gone shopping just for fun?" Eiji asked him, his eyes openly curious. Yet, there was a hint of darkness in them, as if he knew the answer already and realized he wouldn't like it.
"Never. Spending money on clothes that will be ruined a few days later is a waste of money," Ash replied honestly.
"It's ironic that you have a great sense of fashion, Ash. When I think about that cashmere coat, you were wearing once. I bet you'd have great taste if you were more interested in fashion or clothes."
"Fine feathers make fine birds." When Eiji stared at him with a blank face, he smiled. "It means appearances matter, Eiji. You just have to wear the right clothes for the right occasion, and you can fool anyone that you're a law-abiding citizen and a respectable member of society."
Eiji's eyes darkened while pure compassion flooded his eyes when he looked at him. Ash immediately regretted his reaction, looking down, avoiding his gaze. Eiji lifted his chin again, then removed some of his blonde strands from his face while his intense gaze bored into him.
"Ash, that's all in the past. This time, we'll go shopping for fun. And because it will get colder soon. But both concepts aren't mutually exclusive. Even if you need to find some clothes for the winter, it can still be a lot of fun. Believe me, the winter winds of Izumo can be harsh. You'll enjoy going shopping with us, you'll see. And this time, you can choose whatever you like yourself. I'll help you choose something! You'll look even more stunning."
Choose something I like?
He had never chosen clothes because he liked them. He picked clothes to play a role, mislead people, or play with people's feelings. So, he had always selected them for practical reasons; they always served a purpose. It was a necessary tool, nothing more. But shopping for fun? He'd never done that before. He had never understood why shopping would make people happy. But judging by Hana's sparkling eyes and Eiji's sunny smile, it was something they enjoyed doing. Hana pulled him out of his thoughts when she giggled happily.
"Ash always looks stunning. It's so not fair. He could wear rags and would make it look like the latest fashion statement."
Eiji grinned at her and nodded in agreement. "That's true."
Then, he glanced sideways at Ash.
"I also wanted to buy some running shoes. Since we wanted to go shopping anyway, we should grasp the chance to buy everything we need.
"Fine, I guess you're right." Then he remembered what Eiji had just said and looked at him in confusion.
"Since when do you go running?"
"You're kidding, right?" When Ash shook his head and stared at him with what he assumed was a dumbfounded expression, Eiji burst out laughing.
"Ash, I've gone running for the last three months or so. I usually do so early in the morning, so you probably haven't noticed, my little sleepyhead," he chuckled and gently ruffled his blonde hair.
"How haven't I noticed that? I used to sleep with one eye open, always noticing everything around me... I didn't even hear you opening or closing the front door..." Ash wondered aloud, more talking to himself.
"That's because you sleep more soundly here, Ash. It's a sign you feel safe and that you are on your way to recovering. It's a good thing. I've always left you a note so you knew what I was doing and wouldn't be worried. When you were still sleeping after I returned, I usually removed the note, showered, and made breakfast."
Ash nodded but was still worried, wondering about Eiji's pole vaulting injury. "What about your ankle? Doesn't it hurt? Can you go running with it? What if...?"
"Oh, don't worry, Ash, it's fine. I consulted with my doctor about it, and he told me that it's ok as long as I don't run a marathon. I appreciate your concern, but you worry too much, Ash."
Ash scrutinized his face for a moment, but Eiji's eyes reflected honesty, not even a tiny trace of pain. Relief rushed through him when he realized that. He guessed it was fine if Eiji enjoyed it. He was an athlete, after all. He probably missed keeping in shape...
"Don't worry, Ash; we could go shopping for books before or after Ibe's exhibition. Ibe's exhibition in Shinjuku, we can drop by a Kinokuniya bookstore there. It's pretty close," Hana added with a grin, trying to cheer him up.
"Kino - what?" Hana chuckled at his confusion. He had never heard that name before.
"Kinokuniya. It's a huge bookstore chain. They specialize in multilingual books and have a great selection in English, too.
"You should know that, Ash," Eiji added with a scolding undertone. "There's a Kinokuniya store in NYC opposite the Public Library. It's just across Bryant Park. I've even dragged you there once."
"You have? I can't remember that…" Ash, however, had to admit that he sad selected vision when it came to books. He knew every bookstore in New York, but forgot all about stores specializing in manga or comics in a heartbeat, his mind rejecting them as irrelevant since he didn't consider such books literature.
"That's a great idea, Hana," Eiji praised her. "I didn't know they had a shop this close by. Hana beamed at him; then mischief lit up her eyes.
"You could also use some English books to improve your English," she said mockingly. Ash couldn't hide his grin fast enough, and Eiji cast him a dirty look.
"And the day after that, we'll go to Akihabara and the Tokyo Tower, and Hana will show you something she planned."
"Finally! I need to spend all my pocket money on the latest anime and merchandise. My friends made a list of what I should buy. They also brought back some DVDs last time, so I have to give them something as well."
"Good luck with finding all of them. What's your favorite series again? Bungou Stray Dogs? No, it was something else..."
"Eiji, do you live under a rock? Or maybe you've just gotten old. BSD was released ages ago. That's so 2018. We now watch Sk8 the Infinity. I asked you to watch it with me, but you said it sounded boring."
"Because it's about skateboarding. I'm not really into sports anime."
"But you said the exact same thing about Yuri on Ice, but in the end, you loved it. Besides, the two main characters of Sk8 remind me of you two. You're so similar to Reki and Langa. They even look a bit like you."
She showed them a trailer of the anime. He and Eiji watched it, glanced at each other, and then at Hana.
"They don't look like us at all!" they exclaimed in unison. "We don't even share the same hair color!" Eiji added.
"I never said you did. I just said they look a bit like you. I didn't mean your physical looks but your facial expressions," Hana waved it off.
"Their personalities remind me of you two. The stoic type who never shows emotions is Ash, and the one who's always enthusiastic and smiling happily is you, Eiji. Of course, your personalities aren't identical, but I think of you when watching it."
"She has a point, Eiji. Maybe you should give it another try."
"Fine, I promise that I'll watch it with you. Although none of us can skateboard."
"Please only speak for yourself." Ash attempted the most naughty smirk he could muster when meeting Eiji's eyes.
"You can skateboard?" Eiji exclaimed in amazement, his eyes widening at that remark.
Ash rolled his eyes at him. "Everyone growing up in NYC can skateboard or has at least tried it once in their lives."
"Then, can you teach me some tricks?" Hana asked excitedly, her eyes lighting up at once.
"No way! If you come home bruised all over and with scratches everywhere, Eiji and your mom will both kill me."
"Tsk, that's boring. And here I thought you were way cooler than Eiji."
"Nice try. But you have to do better than that," Ash smirked at her. "I bet the characters in Sk8 are always injured, too. It's a rite of passage when trying to learn skateboarding."
When Hana's eyes widened in surprise, Ash cast her a knowing glance, and Hana stubbornly looked away. Eiji finally burst out laughing.
"So, that's settled, for anime and manga, we'll go to Akihabara."
"The multimedia and electronic district? I've read that they have many stores for anime, manga, and video games. Is your camera shop there as well?"
"It is. I'm sure we all want to hit some book and anime stores, and later on, I can go to my photo shop to buy my camera equipment. And Ash can buy himself a tablet.
"I don't need a tablet," Ash stubbornly replied, frowning at him.
"Of course you do! You're always borrowing mine!" Eiji insisted as stubbornly.
"So?"
"I need that tablet for my photo projects when college starts again, Ash. And as much as I love sharing my belongings with you, you need your own. Your room still looks as if you are a guest, not as if you live there. You're not on vacation, Ash. You moved here and want to stay forever, right?" Eiji asked, winking at him.
Ash gave a slight nod, feeling how his cheeks were burning up before he stubbornly looked away.
~ ~ ~
Ash rubbed at his eyes and slowly yawned. Apparently, he had fallen asleep while the train slowly approached Tokyo. And he hadn't been the only one; he noticed when Eiji shifted a bit, his head resting next to the window on his hoodie that he used as a cushion. He was still soundly asleep and probably exhausted from the organization of this trip. He had been so busy looking up sights, buying tickets online for the subway and the Tokyo Tower and some other sights that he had barely slept these last few days.
He wanted this trip to be perfect, so he had invested a lot of time in it. He had helped Eiji, of course, yet Eiji had been so hyped that he had drained himself until Ash had kindly forced him to accept his help.
Now, Eiji was asleep next to him, some brown strands falling into his eyes while his head was buried half in his hoodie. Ash smiled. He looked so adorable like that.
Hana had plugged some earphones in her ears and watched something on her tablet. When she realized he was awake and stared at the screen, she gave him one of the earbuds, asking him if he wanted to join her. Ash looked at his watch. They'd only arrive in 90 minutes. He quietly moved away from Eiji, careful not to wake him up, and sat next to Hana, accepting the earbud from her.
"Is that from your favorite anime?" Ash asked, looking at the tablet screen with interest.
She nodded, and Ash watched one episode with her, then she showed him some of her favorite scenes and explained the story to him.
"It's a great anime, right?"
"It really is. The guy is a fantastic skater."
"Right? I wish I could do that. That's so cool!" she exclaimed in admiration.
"I'm glad you can't pull that off. Skating like that is dangerous," Ash warned her.
"I know that! Don't worry; I'd be too scared even to try. I'll never be that brave."
"Hana, that's not brave. That's reckless and suicidal. For a normal person, I mean. You'd have to be a pro to survive those jumps. You're smart, kind, and fun to hang around. You don't need to do dangerous stunts to prove that."
When Ash looked at her intensely, trying to prove how serious he was, she blushed and looked away.
"You're cute when you're turning red," he chuckled.
Hana hit him in his chest with her fist. There wasn't much force behind it, though. "Don't make fun of me!"
"Ouch!" he exclaimed, yet still smiling. "I'm not! I meant that." Ash looked at her for a moment to prove his point, and Hana finally nodded.
"And I get why the characters remind you of us. Their personalities are not the same as ours, but I see the similarities. The poker face that doesn't reveal any emotions and the warm, radiant smile and joy of life of the other character."
"Right? They're different, but you share some similar traits." Hana beamed at him, overjoyed that he understood why the series'main characters reminded her of him and Eiji.
"I like their dynamic. Langa is bad at expressing himself and communicating with others. He's blunt and doesn't understand social cues. He's lonely at first and sad and still grieving his dad's death. Reki is always cheerful, overexcited, and full of energy," Ash summarized their bond.
"Yes, exactly! Yet, Reki's emotions are always intense, whether positive or negative and overwhelm him sometimes. When he sees Langa's talent, he feels inferior and insignificant compared to him and his skating skills, so he avoids him," she continued happily, encouraged by Ash's analysis.
"However, in the end, Reki remembers what really matters to him, mainly that he doesn't skate to become a pro or the world's best skater but because he truly enjoys the feelings attached to it, and it makes him happy. That's why he gets over his inferiority complex and can mend his relationship with Langa," Ash finished their analysis, and Hana's eyes sparkled, enjoying herself, glad that Ash understood why that series was so important to her. He'd convince Eiji to watch it with her, too.
"I knew you'd understand it. And Langa makes it clear that, for him, Reki does have many skills that Reki isn't aware of. And that he doesn't enjoy skating itself; for him, it's more important who he skates with and that Reki is the key to his happiness." Ash just nodded at her in understanding, encouraging her to go on.
"It's the same with you two. Eiji thinks you're the most incredible person on this planet, and he loves you unconditionally. And you feel the same. But you still wonder why Eiji loves you. You don't see the qualities and good personality traits you possess, either. Even so, you can finish each other's sentences and communicate without words. It's so cute!"
"Langa and Reki balance each other out. Reki is passionate like fire and radiates joy of life, while Langa is like ice, always calm and mysterious thanks to his poker face. They're polar opposites but perfectly balance each other out."
"Yea, I can see the similarities," Ash admitted slowly, thinking about Hana's words for an instant. He realized with a start that Hana was pretty observant, and maybe she could teach him some things as well, even if she was younger.
"They're exactly like Eiji and you. Reki is always cheerful and smiling and infects everyone around him. That's how Eiji was before - before his depression and his pole vaulting accident, I mean. And before my dad was hospitalized."
Hana's features darkened at the memory. Ash nodded in understanding. He had seen photos of a younger Eiji and his pole vaulting career. He had clearly loved that sport with all his heart. He always wore a beaming smile in those photos, and even today, he was still close to tears when it was mentioned.
"I still think Ibe's idea to take Eiji to New York was a great one."
"Why? Eiji was severely injured," Ash reminded her. He had always wondered why Hana didn't blame Ibe or him when Eiji came home injured and still looked pale at the beginning.
To him, their mom's reaction made more sense. She had trusted Ibe to keep her son safe, and he had failed. Of course, Ibe wasn't responsible for Eiji's injury. However, blaming someone else for his own shortcomings was human.
When he had learned in jail that Max was Griff's best friend, he had blamed him for the state Griff was in. Even though he had no clue what had happened in their Army unit back then. Blaming someone else was often easier than facing the truth that you had failed to protect someone close to you.
"Yes, and I was really worried, of course. But I think the depression he suffered from before going to New York hurt him more than any gunshot wound. The people here pitied him, and Eiji hated that, and it only made everything worse, especially his mental health. So, a new scenery would help him. At least, that's what mom and dad hoped. And it worked. His letters, messages, and phone calls were more cheerful. He became more lively and sounded happy over the phone for the first time in months. I was relieved... and my parents felt the same." The sincerity of her words was reflected in Hana's eyes which sparkled the same golden brown as Eiji's when he was happy.
"Yes, Eiji made many friends in New York and learned to adapt to a big city rather quickly," Ash began, unsure what to say.
"And he met you. He talked about you all the time. He rarely spoke about anything or anyone else. My parents were relieved that he had found a best friend. They hoped finding a friend would help him to get back to his old self. But I've always wondered if there could be more between Eiji and you. Eiji's voice had a new undertone when he spoke of you, softer and a bit dreamy at times. When he spoke of Ibe or sights he had seen in New York, his sound of voice was different."
"He really talked about me? I didn't know that..."
Hana looked at him, amusement sparkling in her eyes, then grinning.
"Sometimes you're as adorable and innocent as Eiji. You're so clueless about Eiji's feelings sometimes. Are you sure you were a feared gang leader? It's hard to imagine when you make such an angelic face."
Tears suddenly welled up in his eyes. Ash was suddenly reminded of Shorter, who had told him once he looked like the angel on a Christmas card his sister had sent him to jail.
Before Hana could see the tears pricking at his eyes, he shoved the sunglasses dangling from the hem of his t-shirt over his eyes. Since the sun was shining through the window, wearing sunglasses wasn't unusual. The sunglasses had been Shorter's. After his death, he had found his body and had picked up the glasses lying on the floor after he had chased away Sing. He had kept them ever since and wore them to honor Shorter's memory and their friendship.
"Sometimes, New York feels like another lifetime. Eiji and my path should never have crossed under normal circumstances. We came from different worlds. Yet, I've always been drawn to him. It wasn't love at first sight, but we always had a special connection. We both felt it. Before I knew it, Eiji was filling the gaps and cracks in my heart," Ash said, more speaking to himself than Hana.
"What I didn't realize was that Eiji was lost, too, and I helped him to find his way, to give his life a direction, a purpose again. It took me forever to realize that Eiji's change to a lively and confident person was because of me. I didn't believe back then that someone like me who didn't feel anything could influence and change him as well—in a good way. Eiji always told me that, but I didn't believe him. Only when your mom said the same did I realize it was the truth."
"You really did. After he returned from New York, Eiji was different. He is more cheerful and smiling now, which I'm still grateful for. At first, I thought it was weird and assumed it was an act to reassure or protect me. He had been severely injured, after all, so I wondered why he would be so happy and optimistic. He was hyped to go to college again and looked to the future instead of dwelling in the past as he had done before. It was too good to be true as if my brother was his old cheerful self."
Ash listened intently but didn't say anything. He has a feeling he shouldn't interrupt Hana now. He shoved his sunglasses on the top of his head and nodded to signal her he was listening and to go on.
"Later, when I met you, Ash, I realized that it wasn't an act at all. When I saw the two of you together, it suddenly all made sense. Eiji was genuinely happy and enjoyed being back home. And the reason for his happiness was you. It was in every fiber of his being, every look he gave you, every gesture, every touch, his body language. You had to be blind not to see the close bond between you."
"I'm glad that you feel that way. I had some trouble adjusting to a peaceful life. It wasn't easy for Eiji, but he has never given up on me. He always assured me that I'd never be alone again. That we'd overcome everything together."
"Yes, I wondered why Eiji didn't visit us straight after his return. He paid short visits and called us often, but he never stayed long at the beginning," she admitted honestly while looking into his eyes.
"It must have been because of you. He was worried about leaving you alone. I thought Eiji was a bit overprotective, but now that you've told me about your past, I realize that Eiji wanted to be there for you and help you get used to normal life here."
"Yes, getting used to normal life wasn't easy for me. I suffered from terrible nightmares at the beginning and woke up screaming and had panic attacks when someone touched me out of nowhere. I haven't fully recovered, but it's better now."
"Then why did you agree to go to Tokyo? Are you sure you're fine?"
"Don't worry; I'll be okay."
Ash played it down at once. He didn't want to worry Hana. She should enjoy the city and spend time with her brother and enjoy herself, not worrying about him. He saw in her eyes, however, that he couldn't fool her. So, he explained it in more detail to her.
"Eiji told me I should use my new freedom to see more of Japan. And he notices when I'm not feeling well. He was also worried, but I'm sure I'll be fine as long as I'm by his side. I've always wanted to see the city that I've seen from the plane's window. Especially the Sky Tree. It was the first sight I've noticed from the plane's window, so it's a sign of a new beginning for me." Relief flickered in Hana's eyes, and he was glad he had noticed her concern.
"You positively changed Eiji. It was as if he had found something he had been lacking all this time, which completed or fulfilled him. Or should I say, someone? He also acts more confident and has found his purpose in life. He is content and relaxed. So thank you, Ash. For giving me back my cheerful brother that always makes me smile."
"I'm glad that Eiji is happier now. I didn't do anything. It was you who arranged our meeting in New York, after all. You brought us together, Hana."
Hana stared at him, utterly lost and confused. A cute little frown appeared between her eyebrows while Ash could practically hear how the cogs and wheels in her head turning, trying to figure out the meaning behind his words. After a moment, she sighed heavily and gave up.
"Huh? What do you mean by that?"
"Eiji often talked about you in New York. I once saw him with a charm and asked him about it. He explained to me that it was a good luck charm you gave to him before going to New York."
"Oh, yes. The charm. I'm so glad it worked!"
Hana smiled wickedly at him. "Eiji probably thought I was clumsy and bought him the wrong one. But I did choose that charm on purpose. To push Eiji's luck in the right direction."
"Eiji complained several times to me that it was a good luck charm for love or marriage and called you an airhead." Ash chuckled when remembering that.
"That moron! He should be eternally grateful to me! I just wanted him to be happy. Eiji never dated or had a crush on anyone. He often seemed sad or lonely, so I hoped that he'd meet someone in New York that would make him happy. His better half or soulmate. And it worked! I'm a genius matchmaker! Well, fate helped a bit, I guess." Hana replied smugly, proud of herself.
"You guess?" Ash raised his eyebrows, then grinned. "Great work! Eiji is convinced that your love charm brought us together and that our meeting in New York was fate."
"That sounds like Eiji, still believing in the magic of charms. However, they do work at times. But if that is pure coincidence or fate, is up to you. Eiji has always steadfastly believed in them. He will never lose his childlike innocence. Most adults lose it, but I doubt Eiji ever will."
"I hope not. It's what I admire in him the most. He always sees miracles and magic everywhere he goes and can enjoy the simplest things most people would overlook or take for granted. That's what makes him such an incredible photographer. His photos reflect the unique way he sees the world. A world full of beauty, color, and love. He has seen the dark side firsthand, but his belief in the good in this world has never waivered. A German author once wrote: Only those who grow up but remain children are real human beings."
"That's true. His innocence is why everyone always thinks that Eiji's the younger sibling. I'm glad the charm worked. Even if you probably don't believe in charms and fate, it only matters that you did meet, not why. Eiji has never been this content before. Just look at him. Even in his sleep, he's still smiling. I didn't know he was such a sleepy head, though. Do you think he's fine? The last time he looked so pale..."
When Ash noticed that she started trembling, he put an arm around Hana's shoulder and hugged her. He saw how she froze up for a moment, caused by her initial surprise. Then, she hugged him back and sobbed quietly into his hoodie.
"Don't worry, Hana. Your brother will be fine. He's just lacking a bit of sleep, that's all."
He wiped away her tears and kissed her forehead as Eiji always did. It always soothed him.
"Maybe this is my fault as well... Sorry."
Hana wiped her remaining tears away and looked at him, a confused look in her eyes.
"If Eiji is obsessed with something, like this trip or one of his photo projects, he forgets everything around him. I'm the same when I write some articles for Max's newspaper or when I read books. Time stands still, and you don't notice anything around you anymore. You think if you stop, you destroy the flow of ideas or inspiration that you have right now and even forget to eat or drink something," he tried to explain to her.
"Eiji likes to take care of everyone and forgets all about himself sometimes. He's only this exhausted because he put his heart into planning this trip. He wanted it to be perfect. And he was nervous because he was never on a trip alone with you before." Hana nodded at him, relaxing a little.
"However, this trip was special to him because you came with us. So, he insisted on doing most of the planning himself. Still, he overdid it a little. I tried to stop him and forced him to take a break now and then, but I should have tried harder. I'm not good at going against Eiji's will, but recently, I've learned that Eiji doesn't have a sense of self-care. So, I should have intervened sooner," Ash admitted sincerely.
"Eiji looking so pale just reminded me of his breakdown at home recently. That really scared me," she quietly admitted. Ash put an arm around her, and she leaned on his shoulder.
"Eiji didn't notice or react to me when I entered his room. However, he noticed you at once."
"No, Hana. You're wrong. Eiji didn't notice me at first, either." Hana lifted her head and stared at him in surprise.
"He didn't notice you, either? Really? But then, how did you get him to calm down? At the end, Eiji was still pale, but he looked better."
"I know how it feels to break down. Not to cry but to utterly panic because you bottled up some emotions far too long until they weigh on you and try to push to the surface with force beyond your control. In New York, I've always tried to suppress my emotions, and Eiji always helped me when I broke down like that."
Hana remained silent but waited patiently for him to go on.
"It's usually best not to say anything but show the person you're there. That they aren't alone. So, I've just put my arm around Eiji and pulled him closer. I didn't talk to him, but I knew he felt I was there. I patiently waited for him to calm down while soothingly stroking his back until his tears ebbed down." Ash looked at Hana, but he still saw doubt lingering in her eyes.
"If you had done that, Eiji would have reacted the same way. Yet, you didn't know how to handle such a situation because you've never experienced something like that. Except for Eiji's depression, which is far more complex. Depression can't be solved with a hug and some comforting words alone," Ash clarified calmly.
"Yes, I know. Eiji made a therapy before going to New York. Our parents only allowed Eiji to go under the condition that he'd make one before going. I just felt so powerless when seeing him. And it hurt that I couldn't help him. I wished I could have helped him. In both situations." Ash pulled her closer and patted her head to calm her down again.
"I understand that. And it's great that you love Eiji so much. But your presence alone helps your brother. Besides, you were ten years old when Eiji's depression started, right? You were too young to understand the concept of depression back then fully. It's also challenging to handle for most adults like your parents. So, please don't blame yourself, ok? Eiji loves you, too, and is thrilled that he can spend more time with you. That's enough. Besides, you should look forward to this trip. So please don't worry; if Eiji wakes up, he'll feel better." Hana still cast a glance at Eiji's sleeping form, then nodded.
"Eiji wanted you to enjoy this trip to the fullest and create beautiful moments with us. That's why this trip is memorable for him as well. A few days to enjoy himself and spend some carefree days before college starts. He needs some relaxing days the most. Let's make the most of our trip and help Eiji, ok? So, stop worrying and cheer up. We'll all have a great time in Tokyo."
"Yes, you're right. Thanks, Ash. Maybe I'll buy Eiji something to thank him for taking me on this trip."
"That's the spirit! Eiji would love that! And your smile has finally returned. Do you already have something in mind to give to Eiji?"
"Not really. But I'll figure something out in Tokyo. Maybe we can look for something together."
Ash smiled at that. "That would be great!"
Then, he looked at his watch. "We're almost in Tokyo. Grab your things. I'll put down our luggage."
He was about to get up when Eji finally stirred and slowly opened his eyes. He stretched his arm and started yawning, then blinked in a daze at them, not fully awake yet. His eyes were still unfocused and radiated sleepiness. There were sleep lines on the right side of his face from sleeping on his hoodie.
"Such a sleepyhead!" Hana teased him while she stuffed her headphones and tablet into her backpack again. Then, her smile faded away. She closed her bag and scrutinized Eiji's face.
"Eiji, are you fine? You looked really pale."
"You worried Hana. Tell her you're okay," Ash asked while he sat next to him and looked into his eyes for a moment. If he wasn't okay, Eiji's honest eyes always revealed the truth.
Eiji's cheeks flushed red with embarrassment before a guilty look crossed his features, turning to Ash, then to Hana.
"Sorry about that. I was just tired, that's all. I'm really fine, you two, don't worry. What did I miss?"
"Our final destination. Almost. Grab your bag, sleeping beauty; we'll arrive in Tokyo in five minutes."