Jeremy was nowhere to be found once Bonnie reached the parlor, and nor did it appear as if anyone else was around. She was grateful for that. With Kai fed and settled, she could head over to her house, grab some clothes, her grimoire, and get a head start on finding a way to protect herself and her friends from the heretics.
She headed for the garage, throwing open the white box that stored their car keys, and picked one or two at random. None of them had modern buttons, nothing she could merely push to make her selection easier. Typical. In some instances, the Salvatores were up-to-date and in others – they continued to live in the past.
"Need a ride, witch?" a voice said from out of nowhere amidst her struggle.
"No," she answered, snubbing the loquacious culprit behind her.
"Then is theft something you do when you're not collecting murderers?"
"Murderers? Don't you mean murderer. As in singular. And it's not theft, it's aloan."
"What, you're above asking?"
"Can I borrow one of your cars?" she asked, making sure not to look at him, knowing that if she did, she'd be angry all over again and reminded how she now had more than fifty other people's lives on her conscience.
"No," Damon answered, sounding familiarly proud of himself and agitated all at once. "And risk having you come back with the full-fledged assortment of archenemies? I can't trust your judgement."
She sighed with exasperation and stowed both keys into her palm, walking over to the brown Ford parked at the very end of the six-space garage. It didn't look like either Damon's or Stefan's taste, and strangely enough, it appeared rather clean on the outside – like it was regularly washed down or polished.
"Where are you going?"
"Home." She inserted the first set of keys to try and unlock the door, jiggling it around a bit before trying the second. "I need a 'you'-free shower and a couple changes of clothes."
"You don't have a home," Damon indicated as he appeared next to her, applying a steadfast vampire-type grip to the door handle. "Not until you get that cockroach out of my basement and into the nearest shallow grave."
"I told you," she concentrated on the cagy hand preventing her from leaving. Damon's eyes widened, his mouth falling open with a yelp as he jumped back from the car. "I'm not killing Kai."
He snarled.
"And nor am I looking to fight with you." She could. She could have nonchalantly mentioned Jeremy and reinforced the fact that Damon was a jackass and a hypocrite and that she didn't want to see him. But she didn't have the energy for it and nor did she think he would bother to give her space again – not with Elena out of the picture.
"What if he tries to escape while you're away?" Damon asked, shaking off his crumbling pride and irritation. "You've been out all morning, shouldn't you at least stay to make sure he doesn't do anything."
"He won't," she replied, hoping that to be true. "And I won't be gone that long. An hour tops. Less probably."
She climbed into the driver's seat of the Ford, recalling, as she peered around inside, that Zach Salvatore used to drive one. This was his car. Damon stood observing her as she slipped the key into the ignition, his eyes boring into her through the windshield as she pulled out of the garage and headed for her father's house.
Between Damon and Jeremy, she suspected she would have zero freedom or rest, and they'd be breathing down her neck until she kowtowed to their wishes.
A couple of hours passed since Bonnie had seen Jeremy or spoken to Damon when she reluctantly returned to chez Salvatore. Caroline brought her a takeout, a little something extra after Stefan had taken her to lunch, thinking that Jeremy and Bonnie needed to talk.
"So… how was it?"
"It wasn't," Bonnie said, knowing full well what the blonde was referring to and who.
"You mean there were no sparks and 'welcome home I haven't seen you in months' sex?"
Bonnie looked up at Caroline, arching her eyebrows as if to say, Really?
"Alright. No sex. But there was a spark, right?"
"No."
"Because of Elena?"
"Losing your sister to a sleeping beauty curse attached to your ex-dead girlfriend would put a damper on anyone's libido. But no, I don't think Elena has anything to do with it. He's moved on."
Caroline had the decency to look ashamed and then added: "He's only been gone a month!"
"A lot can change in a month," Bonnie answered, peeling the foil from the top of the pasta.
"So… what did he say exactly?"
"That Damon told him he needed a hand with Alaric."
"And you believed him?"
"Certainly. I wouldn't put it past Damon to try and complicate things for me."
"And are you squirming?" Caroline asked, studying her face, trying to gauge if she'd changed her mind.
"No. At least not where Damon is concerned."
Bonnie picked up the plastic fork and tucked into the spinach and feta pasta. "Besides," she added between bites, "Alaric could use more family around him."
"Then what's with all the witchy-woo research face?"
"Lily."
"As in long last 'allegedly died because of some eighteen-hundred disease' Mama Salvatore?"
"As in psychopath hell-bent on searching for her destructive family."
Caroline stared at her blankly, frowning as if she were missing some huge neon clue. Typical. Somewhere along the way Bonnie was the only one that thought of the repercussions.
"What are you—"
"Have you not been listening?" Bonnie enquired teasingly, seeing Caroline's cheeks redden with obvious embarrassment. "It's okay, I don't suppose there has been time to clue you in. It's been a madhouse."
"No, I mean… I know who they are… or at least I know Lily is looking for them."
"And she hasn't found them?"
"Not as far as I am aware. After things went down at the wedding, Enzo kidnapped Stefan and me to recruit our help. When we left she was running around some storage containers."
Bonnie's heart skipped a beat, her appetite all of a sudden dispersing, her grip loosening on the fork.
"Bonnie? Are you okay?"
"Yeah," she replied, forcing aside the transitional lightheadedness that came from her panic. "I just—I need some water." She pushed the food away, got off the bed, and walked toward the bathroom. "You should call Enzo," she said from her bent over position at the sink.
"I should?" Caroline echoed, sounding rather muddled, having missed how much trouble they were in and the fact that things went far beyond some mad woman seeking out a couple of beloved children.
"You should," Bonnie added, splashing water in her face, wishing she could slow her overactive imagination down and the all-consuming fear. Lily would not come for her—not unless she was still busy searching.
"And say what? Stefan and Lily didn't leave on good terms, in fact, she pretty much disowned him and ran off," Caroline explained, appearing in the bathroom doorway behind Bonnie.
Bonnie peered into the mirror, smiling. "Just tell him that Stefan is concerned about Lily and that you're doing your duty as a friend and potential lover to make sure that his mother is okay. Work your charm."
Caroline looked doubtful, as if she feared Enzo wouldn't believe her or as if she didn't believe Bonnie.
"Caroline. You've seen what Kai can do. What do you think will happen if there are six other people running around with the same potential?"
Caroline swallowed and dropped her gaze to the floor, her face having lost any and all innocence. Bonnie wished she could live in that pink-glasses bubble, too, at times. "And what if she found them?"
"Then I don't know," Bonnie admitted with a dry laugh, reaching for the towel, using it to dab at her face and neck. She didn't know what to do with Kai, she had no idea how to break Elena's spell, and she wouldn't know where to even start with the heretics. No one else has thought about it yet, not in the way that it should be approached, but Bonnie knew: once they did, they would come to her, that they'd come expecting more answers. And for right now, she had none.
Caroline called Enzo once or twice but he didn't answer. She stayed with Bonnie for an hour, watching her page through her grimoire until the blonde got tired and excused herself to get some sleep.
It was near on nine o' clock when Bonnie emerged from her designated room again and decided to feed Kai. There was only so much time he could take down there alone—she didn't want him getting antsy—and she'd been avoiding him most the day. Along with the rest of the men in her life – save for Stefan.
She approached the stairwell and cursed to herself when she saw the slumped figure seated on the top stairs. He had a bottle clutched in one hand, his phone with a couple of images in another.
"He might as well have killed her," Jeremy mumbled, and for a second, Bonnie thought he was talking to himself. It was only as he turned back to look at her that she gathered otherwise. "I'll never see her again—not as long as…"
'As long as you're alive,' she concluded for him in her head. She suspected that was the thought on everyone's mind – aside from Caroline's. She'd been sad about Elena's dilemma, but she wasn't in mourning, convinced that once Bonnie had lived her life—and died a greying old lady on some equally rickety porch—she'd see her again. Neither Jeremy, Matt nor Bonnie had that kind of luxury. Not at this point in their lives and not unless they turned. But what if Bonnie was to become a vampire? Would Elena remain in status? Would the spell break? And most importantly, did she, Bonnie, want to? Not particularly. And in fact, the idea repulsed her.
She took a seat beside him on the stair and rested her hands in her lap.
"Damon said you were looking into a way to break the curse," Jeremy commented.
Bonnie scowled faintly, infuriated that Damon would feed him such lies and that he'd force her into this position. How was she supposed to tell Jeremy that she wasn't looking? That until she was sure they could protect themselves from the heretics, from Kai, she wouldn't be able to focus on the linking spell. How was she supposed to make him understand? "Damonhopesthat I will find a way to break it."
"That's not the way he worded it."
"You can't believe everything he says, Jer."
"I know. But I believe in you." Bonnie might have smiled if she didn't see a look of touchiness in his eye. "And you've done it before. You brought me back. You brought all ofusback!"
"This is different," she murmured.
"How?" he spat, looking starry-eyed and naïve, as if he hadn't witnessed her nearly killing herself every time.
"She isn't dead. Elena's just… she's sleeping."
"For fifty years?"
"You might not have to wait that long," she added bluntly, hating that there was a limit on her life, that from out of nowhere she accumulated an expiry date. "Given my luck I could die tomorrow and all this fuss will be over."
"What's gotten into you?" Jeremy asked as if she offended him with her attitude.
She chuckled softly to keep from crying, to keep from giving into the deep-rooted loneliness. She missed her Grams.
"I'm just tired, Jer," she replied, bringing her hands to her face, scrubbing them against her closed eyelids, and then stood. At twenty, it felt she was going on fifty.
"Where are you going?" he asked, a small frown on his drunken brow. That was the second time she was asked that tonight, and with the same condescendingly accusing tone – as if she were being monitored.
"Downstairs."
He trailed after her, practically slipping off the last stair. She winced and refrained from reaching out to grab a hold of his shoulder. She didn't think he'd accept her help, anyway.
"Where's Damon?" she asked as he followed her into the parlor. Bonnie needed to pour herself a drink, to work up a little Dutch courage and prepare for the next stipulation of her deal with Kai.
"With Alaric. With Stefan," he said, bringing the bottle to his lips, taking two large gulps. "Speaking of: does Alaric know Kai is here? That you're protecting his wife's murderer?"
"You didn't tell him, did you?" she asked, suddenly fearing he might have mentioned it and that things would escalate. Damon, she knew, was relying on the pressure – as always, he was trying to break her.
"I didn't know that he wasn't aware."
"Fuck." Bonnie poured herself a drink, downing it in one go.
Jeremy watched her with glassy interest. "He said you staked him. That he saw you do it."
Bonnie flushed and exhaled deeply, pouring herself a refill. "It was just an illusion."
"For whom?" Jeremy asked.
"You didn't see his face, Jer. He was broken. Absolutely lost. I wanted to give him a little peace… a break."
"A break from what? The death of his wife?"
"No… I mean, I just… I wanted to… I was trying to help him. I was trying to keep Alaric from getting himself killed or from hurting anyone else."
"Then maybe," Jeremy began, raising the bottle once more, kicking his legs up onto the couch cushion, "you should have actually killed Kai. The only thing that Alaric needs protection from is downstairs."
Bonnie closed her eyes and downed her second drink, hating that this conversation had been fed to him and implanted in his brain. It wasn't all Jeremy – it couldn't be. She set the glass aside.
"So how did he take it?" she asked instead, forging feeding into his lure.
"Damon and Stefan are with him."
"Right. Here? As in the Boardinghouse?"
"They decided it might be best to keep him at his place for now. Away from you. And away from the temptation of charging downstairs."
"Of course," she replied, wondering when that had happened and how soon after she'd seen Damon. Caroline hadn't said anything, so Bonnie assumed Stefan hadn't had time to fill her in yet. "Well… I'd better—" she gestured to the exit, drawing her eyes from his, hoping Jeremy would pick up on the mallet-sized hint and leave her in peace. At least for now.
She paused as she stepped into the foyer, making sure he wasn't following her, and then headed down into the basement again, her eyes instinctively taking in the salt border in the dim light.
She should have brought Kai a book or something, knowing that idle hands wouldn't make much for good.
Kai broke into a wide, jolly smile when Bonnie showed face at his cell's door. "Oh, hey, Bonnie! I almost thought you decided to get down to testing your battered luck and keep me waiting until the Judgment Day – which might come sooner than any of us suspect. I'm bored and almost starving – this combination is particularly explosive, I'll let you know. I hope you managed to get stuffed today because I really need a nice snack."
How did he maintain such a happy farce at every occasion? Bonnie guessed solitude could do that to you in most instances, but she also knew how quickly that could change. It made her wonder how long she had before his patience would wear out.
She assumed the vervain was still in her system so didn't bother to go to the second cell. She signed softly remembering the body within, a figure that had been all but forgotten by her for today. They were going to have to do something with her soon. Bonnie worried that Jo was hovering around, unable to find peace. She pushed that thought aside for now.
He sat up, legs swinging off the cot, and patted the mattress next to him. "C'mere and tell me all about how wonderful your day has been."
"Wonderful?" she echoed with an ironic yet weary sigh, a small smile twitching onto her lips. "Can you not hear what is happening upstairs?" It would be in her favor if he didn't – she knew that now, but what were the chances? She hadn't made provision for that and he wasn't a half-bad vampire. Bonnie guessed it didn't take much to start working on controlling your senses or getting used to them. At least he didn't appear to have that problem.
Kai wanted to respond, but then didn't, caught with observation of how her air of self-assuredness started to melt once she went for the seat he patted. She was nervous and it tickled his fancy in just the right way. He liked to see her display power, but a shy Bonnie was a no less precious sight. And a rich, fruitful soil to plant some crops.
She walked into the small room without any of her earlier hesitation, her heart abruptly skipping a furtive beat as an image of him feeding from her neck sprung to mind.I didn't need that.
'It's fine. Don't think about it,' she chided herself internally. 'Don't give it more thought than it deserves. It's feeding. You're Food. You're a vamp takeout. No more than that bloody pasta you didn't finish.' Fucking Damon and Caroline. Couldn't they have kept their mouths shut?
She sat down beside him, feeling awkward and like some inexperienced virgin unsure of where to position herself or what to do. Did they jump right into it?
"Don't suppose you want to take a nibble at my wrist again?" she asked, allowing a lighthearted smile to play onto her lips, one that held some real seriousness behind it as she raised her arm.
Not much hope in there, but she felt the need to try. Her arm was raised towards him in invitation, but in her eyes Kai saw she resigned herself to the neck bite – the demand he gave in advance.
Bonnie broadened the smile, praying he'd be less of himself and take pity on her. She deserved it, didn't she? She was having a hard enough time as it was. She didn't need complications. She didn't need to second-guess her actions or reasoning. She didn't need for this to get weird or any more awkward than the three of them had already made it. Bonnie almost wished she'd provoked him to attack her.
He glanced at her outstretched offering, faking a second's consideration, then wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her onto his lap with dexterity of a performing magician. He held her to him, her back against his front, brushing her hair back from the right side of her face with his free hand.
She opened her mouth to ask him what the hell he thought he was doing and to command he release her or face the wrath of nine hells. Not that she was sure how to accomplish that when the overpowered bastard appeared to have a physical comeback for everything she did. He ingested vervain and nothing—it didn't even slow him down—not even a little. From what she could remember of their earlier feeding, he hadn't even sweat. It was as if Kai had eaten a little curry and was unfazed.
She tried — and unsuccessfully — to brush aside the shiver that raced through her as his fingertips skimmed the nape of her neck.
"Don't ask questions you know the answers to – that answer I gave you earlier and see no need to recite."
She snuck a look at the arm around her waist, all too aware of his chest molded against her back and the fact that she wasn't finding it all that unpleasant. She guessed it was different when she believed he was trying to be malicious.
Oh, oh. She could feel her pulse start to race again. She stiffened in response, unable to force herself to relax.
Kai could feel her need to squirm, her anxiety coiled around her like something palpable, spurring her pulse into a quicker trot. Each response her body gave stimulated him to try and elicit more, to reach deeper and make her feel things she wouldn't be able to deny nor forget. Kai wanted to install sensations that would haunt her while he was out of sight, the imprint with his name on it that would be hot against the skin of her very soul.
"Maybe we should stand again," she blurted out before she could stop her brain from saying something so stupid. Bonnie didn't need him deliberately trying to turn things around on her as opposed to unintentionally. "This doesn't—can you even get a good grip? I mean… maybe I should, like, be on my knees—"
Definitely not where she wanted that to go. Bonnie heaved a sigh, brushing that off to correct her statement.
"Or not. You know what, just go. I mean… like, tuck in. Enjoy. Don't take too much."
Kai congratulated himself on refraining from laughing out loud. However, the images her unguarded words inspired were nowhere near laughable. They were outright hot, and he felt his body respond, shedding the restraint he was trying to maintain.
Kai touched his forehead to her temple, nuzzling against her skin behind the earlobe, bathing in her scent and his anticipation that fed arousal and more blood to the evidence of it she was sitting against. "Don't worry. It won't be anything like what the heretics dealt me. But I believe you already know as much."
Stroking his free hand down her arm to join his other around her waist, Kai teased her with a few light kisses against the pulsating vein, gratified at her hitching breaths and jumping heartbeat. He sucked at her skin, massaging it with his tongue to prepare for the bite. And when his fangs did sink in, she merely shuddered with a soft sigh.
Bonnie was loath to admit that he methodically soothed her fears when it came to feeding. At least where he was concerned. She worried about the other senses, the other parts of herself that revolted against sanity and didn't appear to dislike the nearness of his body or the prominent hardness nudging her ass quite as much as it did the day before. She could even close her eyes and pretend that it was someone else's fingertips travelling down her arm to secure itself around her waist, someone else's lips, tongue, and mouth tending to her shoulder and that thrashing pulse with deliberate care. And someone else's soft breathless sigh of unerring anticipation as his teeth broke through flesh. She didn't. She couldn't.
Unwittingly pulling her closer, as if possessively, he let the taste fill his awareness and eradicate everything else for a little moment. An uncontrolled quiet moan vibrated against the side of her neck as he drew swallow after swallow, ignoring the burn of vervain still guarding her blood from thieves like him. It was like a scalding liquid spice, too strong and flaying his throat as he drank, but Kai was able to detach it from the actual taste that sent his nerves into electric shimmering.
Consciously Bonnie should have been repulsed as his arm tightened around her, drinking deeper and with far more confidence than she remembered the first time. As if he were trying to possess her. She gasped softly, feeling the vibration of his hungry moan and the increasing evidence of such pleasure. Growing proof that made it impossible to remain passive for too long and in due course broke the spell.
She shifted subtly on his lap, making Kai shiver at the unexpected pleasant friction he was craving, and at the same time awakened him to reality.
He withdrew, licking his lips, and lingered there, his breath fanning hotly against the exposed crook of her neck while he battled his need for more. More than this, more than just her blood and restrained ability to touch her and make her react in spite of her intentions. The blood was still oozing from the bite, and Kai couldn't help but pick some up with a swipe of his tongue.
Bonnie blinked as if coming out of a shallow daze as he slid his teeth from her throat, his hot breath fanning the achy flesh. A sensation that she was getting accustomed to far quicker than she'd imagined or ever cared to think about. Bonnie was humming, as she had before, and all over. A peculiar liking that took seconds to shift to guilt.
Then Kai bit his wrist and brought it half an inch short of her lips. "Help yourself, witchling. Fair's fair."
She drew back the little that she could and turned her head away from his wrist, squelching the desire burning upon her tongue and reaching up to politely discard his offer.
She wanted it, he saw: her body wanted his blood, and it fueled his pleasure.
"I'm okay," she answered once she was able to find her voice, leaving no room for argument, simultaneously reaching down in attempt to remove his arm from her waist. All of a sudden feeling as though there was more to that offer, more to that 'fair's fair' hint. Bonnie needed the reminder on her neck, she needed the little ache of proof of what she was, what their association was, and didn't want him crawling any further under her skin than he already had – than they had already planted him. "Well, now that your hunger is at least sated," she began as a means of deflection, pressing a hand to the side of her neck to stave of the bleeding, glad to find that when her fingers touched the spot, it hurt, "I'll see what I can do about your entertainment."
She wanted to escape, and despite knowing that it was probably working as it should, it annoyed him. Her stupid need to resist him was irritating, more than Kai anticipated. Fed by renewed vitality of the blood intake, his emotions wanted to run free, and it took effort to tame them and lock behind a thick door of outward calm friendliness.
"Since no one really taught you much in magic department, let me enlighten you a bit about a certain cosmic law," he said. "It stipulates we should pay for what we take. Your neck is bleeding, Banzai, therefore I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I avoid breaking yet another law of sorts and pay you for your kindness. It's not in my best interest to have my donor harmed and feel less than perfect due to what I've done. I mean, where'd be logic in that? And if you prefer the earlier way to receive the payment – I can relate."
He bit into his tongue hard, gently turning her head to him by the chin, and kissed her. The act shocked her at first, and his tongue met no resistance as it touched hers and shared the blood.
Bonnie had a suspicion to what he was referring when he said 'earlier payment'. And she'd denied it, swept the thought under the rug, convinced that their dream kiss was an incitement created by her punishing friends. And she might have continued to believe it, too, if he hadn't gone right to it. It wasn't conventionally sweet or profoundly knee-numbing, but it did stir and make her feel out of sorts. Even when she was doing her utmost to safeguard herself, to keep herself grounded and detached – she was failing.
Kai didn't make it long and pulled back, before she could do anything rash like snapping her teeth down on him. Smiling boyishly, he let her go and held his arms spread for her to slip off his lap. "Thank you, Bonnie."
"Thanks," she parroted in a murmur, touching a hand to her neck to check the bite mark as she stood up. The wound was no longer there, not externally, and yet it felt engrained beneath the flesh like a stamp, or worse – a brand. Bonnie frowned at herself and lowered her arm to her side, glancing down at her clothes as if to check for any signs of what they had done, and feeling irritatingly bare.
Dammit! Why was she letting their words get to her so much? And why hadn't she fought him on what she wanted? Why hadn't she bitten that obtrusive tongue as soon as it sought to coat her own?
Am I that lonely?
"So…" she began, forcing herself to relax again, to compose a smile that matched his own cheerfulness. "About that entertainment. What can I get you?" A brief frown stole across her brow in thought. "And be reasonable," she added.
"If you could stay here with me, it's all entertainment I could dream of, and even more," he grinned shamelessly and lay down on the bunk on his side, propped on an elbow. "But frankly, I'd rather prefer to get out of here. Some nice hotel would do, with shower." He emphasized the last word with a wiggle of his eyebrows, eyeing her slyly. "I bet you could use an escape yourself by now, given how deep and troubled your frown is every time you come here." His grin slipped off to make space for an overly sympathetic mien.
And Bonnie could almost believe in his earnestness, she could almost trust that she accomplished something without really doing anything.
"Brace yourself, Banzai – it's only getting worse from here. The longer you keep me in the middle of their nest where they can't rip me to pieces and stomp each into the ground. As if that'd end their problems. If anything, it'd probably start a new spin of hell."
Worse than having her judgement called into question? Worse than losing one of her best friends? Worse than feeling like she had lost a part of herself and that she didn't know how to make things work anymore? Nothing was the same, not for Bonnie, and yet – everything was.
"You mean we aren't in hell and headed through already?" she jested, feeling in no way mollified. "In that case, I'll have to decline staying to keep you company." Not that she intended to stay. "And get back to work."
She whirled around, flashing him a grim smile, and unhurriedly made her way toward the stairs.
"Where is he?!" a high-pitched female voice demanded before Bonnie even exited the basement. She didn't need to stop and figure who that question belonged to – she already knew.
Lily. Lily Salvatore. The second monster to infiltrate her dreams.
Her heart hammered against her ribcage with unspoken fright when Bonnie recalled the lethal look in Lily's eyes. If not for Jo – she would have successfully killed Bonnie that night of the bachelorette's and everything Bonnie tried to reclaim would have been lost. Bonnie didn't like to think of the reason why or the loathing she progressively felt grow for Damon because of it. Nor did she like looking back to make sure Kai didn't follow her – in some way, she thought that he could.
Was he aware of the commotion upstairs? Was he in on it?
An acquainted battle cry pervaded the air to cut short her treacherous musings, followed by a shout of distress Bonnie acknowledged as Caroline's, and the sound of splintering furniture. Bonnie pushed away from the wall she had been involuntarily shrinking against, and made a mad, thoughtless dash for the foyer.
"Do you know what it's like to have the promise of your family in the palm of your hand, only to have them snatched away again and again?"
What Bonnie found angered her. Jeremy lay unconscious in front of the unlit fireplace and Caroline struggled at the end of a poker, like a fish caught on the end of a lethal spear.
"Motus!" Bonnie roared, magically whacking the Salvatore woman across the living area and away from Caroline. Her body thumped against the bookcase, taking a few of the hardcover titles with her as she fell to the floor with an aggrieved groan. Bonnie wasn't even going to try talking to her this time. Not by choice.
Caroline gasped, her mouth open, her eyes filled with tears while her bloodied hands tried to pull the poker from her stomach. Bonnie ran toward her, keeping one eye on where the woman had flown to, the other on Jeremy.
"Ah, Miss Bennett," Lily said, appearing in front of her, cutting short the rescue mission, her face ashen from either exhaustion or a day's worth of hunger. Her blue eyes livid in a way that reminded Bonnie of someone wild and homicidal. "How unfortunate to see you well. I was guaranteed by that charming boy that when he finished with you – you'd be a wreck."
"Sorry to disappoint," Bonnie played back, glad her voice hadn't cracked.
Lily sneered. A look that reminded one hundred percent of her formerly murderous eldest son and as if she could hear Bonnie's racing heart.
"You haven't disappointed me, dear. Not at all," she remarked in a misleadingly sweet tone, one Bonnie now knew was meant to lure her into a false sense of security. "I would rather the pleasure of doing so myself."
When she lunged, Bonnie reacted, knocking her back, sending her tumbling over the nearest couch with no more than a sharp jerk of a hand. Lily grunted as she hit the floor, a sound of pain that eerily eased into a manic laugh.
"So brave. So unwise," Lily remarked, her eyes flashing in warning. "Did you overlook our last altercation?" Bonnie stared at her with what she hoped was a straight-faced expression, unhindered by Lily's words. "Where is he?"
"And you best tell her, love," Enzo put in nonchalantly, revealing himself. Where the hell had he been hiding? Bonnie could only assume he'd been checking the rest of the house. "She's been at it all night."
"Damon and Stefan aren't here," Bonnie contested, deliberately playing dumb. Enzo looked unconvinced.
"I'm not speaking of my self-regarding sons." Funny coming from a woman who had gone out of her way to shun her real family for an adopted version of one. She didn't see anyone else's pain.
"I killed him," Bonnie answered. Lily stared at the young witch, stunned, her face awash with a range of different emotions that soon fused into one: shock.
"Then he must be back," she challenged in a tone that bordered begging. "He must have risen and is with them."
"Because you gave him your blood? Because you helped him come up with a distraction to link Elena and I?"
Lily looked unmoved.
"Well, he did rise again as you say. But he was bitten by a werewolf—"
Her face shifted to that of measured realization, her hands balling into fists as though she craved to strangle the Bennett witch. Enzo, too, realized that things were on the verge of spiraling, and took a step forward to provide comfort.
"—a fight ensued and fortunately for me, I was able to stake—"
Lily closed the distance before Bonnie even finished her fabricated story, a hand wrapped around her throat, slamming her back against the wall once or twice as if Lily were trying to knock sense into her.
"Then you shall take his place and mend that which you have broken!"
She gave a yelp, her eyes widened with angry astonishment as she peered down at her side, the poker she'd initially lodged in Caroline's stomach jutting from it, feisty blonde attachment in tow.
"Octox," Bonnie hissed, watching as agony swept over Lily's face, her body crumbling beneath her as magic snapped her knee, followed by another.
Enzo dashed across the room in a protective fury, yanking Jeremy off the floor.
"Motus," Bonnie shoved the vampire woman one last time, pushing her toward the front door, away from Caroline and her. She wasn't sure how long she would last with her powers if Lily kept pushing her like this.
"Stop!" Enzo commanded, drawing Jeremy close, baring his fangs against the unconscious boy's neck. Bonnie regarded him, her heart leaping into her throat with trepidation. The last time Enzo touched Jeremy—that she knew of—he killed him, or at least he would have – if not for Stefan and their would-be Elenatherine.
There was no pleading in Bonnie's manner, no begging to have either see reason. "I suggest you put him down and the two of you leave."
She glared at the both of them, making sure Damon's oldest-newest buddy knew that if he even thought to puncture Jeremy's skin, she would flay him alive.
"Haurire," she murmured, the poker sailing from out of Lily's side, ripping a startled cry from her. Enzo released Jeremy, unmindful of how he fell, and dashed toward Lily. Caroline reacted as quickly, catching the younger Gilbert before he could bang his head on the wood. Carefully bringing him back to Bonnie's side.
"Leave? Leave my home?" Lily countered through gritted teeth, groaning as Enzo helped force her limbs into position, gradually taking his aid as she pushed herself off the polished floor for the third time.
"This place isn't your home. And from what I hear, that was your decision."
Caroline seconded that with no more than an uncharacteristic rumble. Lily stood casting a purposeful glance at Jeremy who had been placed upon the floor at their feet.
"Touch him again and I'll make sure your struggle to find your family is at a permanent end," said Bonnie.
Lily grinned and met the witch's eyes again, dusting at her attire, uselessly nursing her former wounds.
"You're hasty to make threats, Miss Bennett. Is that wise?"
"Probably not. But after what you've done to me, to my friends—"
"What have I done to you?!" Lily countered, cutting short her speech, that wild look reflecting in her eyes once more, like a button Bonnie had flicked. "You took that which I most value and destroyed it!"
Bonnie didn't even feel bad about that. She couldn't. She wouldn't. Not after what had come to pass. She hadn't counted on the heretics, she hadn't envisioned the bigger mess she'd make or be a part of, but what's done is done. If they weren't around, if Lily hadn't found them yet, then maybe Kai hadn't been able to bring them with him and had merely used Lily to gain her blood in order to turn and exact his revenge on his family. Maybe what he said to Bonnie before had been a lie, maybe he had been purposely trying to scare her.
"I had my reasons," Bonnie added, trying to sound detached, trying to present an emotionless front.
"You are a despicable and heartless woman, Miss Bennett."
Bonnie darted a look at Caroline, who was uncharacteristically quiet, and then at Jeremy at her feet.
"As are you, Mrs. Salvatore. Now I suggest you take the chance to leave while you still can and while I still deem your sons my friends. Or I might temporarily forget."
Lily stared at the Bennett girl long and hard, her eyes speaking volumes of her intention and what was to come. They weren't done. Not by a long shot. And then, they were gone.
Bonnie stood rooted to the spot for a long time, taking a few moments to catch her breath, feeling her legs wanting to give beneath her weight now that the immediate threat had been removed and she knew they were safe-ish.
"Shit!" she heard Caroline curse and snap her from her trance. "Thank God for whatever mystical force came up with hunter healing." Bonnie darted a look to where she was crouched over Jeremy, checking his bruised temple. "He'll be fine."
Bonne breathed a sigh of relief and dropped the poker, walking over toward the two of them, wordlessly easing to the floor on her knees beside them. They sat in silence side by side for a while, waiting for Jeremy to wake up, processing.
"What happened?" Bonnie asked, taking in the trivial carnage that struck the living room.
"I was upstairs and then there she was. I guess Lily was looking for Kai, and when she couldn't find him, she started in on the inquiries."
"Right. Are you okay?"
"Lily didn't do much damage. Not to me. She was going on and on about her family and—well, you know." Caroline glanced down at the unconscious figure. Jeremy must have set her off. He wasn't very good at controlling his impulses, especially when drunk or provoked. "I should call Stefan."
"You'd better." Bonnie eased onto her butt, leaning back against the couch for support.
"Are you okay?" Caroline asked, peering at her guiltily. "That must have taken a bit out of you."
"I'm fine." Bonnie smiled softly to put her at ease.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course."
She looked down at her witch friend a moment as if doubtful. "Then why would you lie?"
Bonnie could tell immediately to what she was referring and that the blonde thought it was because Bonnie was protecting Kai.
And was she? Maybe.
"Because she'd want to kill us," Bonnie answered after a second's thought. To her mind, it seemed the most logical and even the most honest answer. "And Enzo would have let her."
"Right," Caroline exhaled deeply, flashing her a smile as she jumped to her feet. "I'll find my phone and be right back."
"No hurry," Bonnie said, knowing the blonde hadn't heard her as she disappeared upstairs, leaving Bonnie to safeguard and patiently wait for Jeremy to wake up.
Which happened ten minutes later. Groaning, he pressed a hand to his aching and slightly bruised temple. "Bonnie?" he murmured when he saw her, blinking up at her in considerable shock. "Where am I?"
"The parlor," she replied softly.
He eased himself onto his elbows, appearing confused for a second and then in pain as he sat up.
"You okay?" she asked with concern, moving forward and onto her knees to help him sit up.
"Yeah, I— What happened?"
"You picked a battle with the wrong woman."
"Mama Salvatore," he grumbled as it came back to him, sounding like he needed aspirin.
"What were you thinking?" she asked, unable to keep the accusation from her tone.
"I wasn't," he admitted. "She said something and I reacted." Bonnie could see from the look of concentration on his brow he couldn't remember what.
"You can't keep doing that, Jer," she continued, feeling as though she needed to make herself clear, and saw a look of irritation mar his features. "You're going to get yourself, or possibly someone else killed."
"I don't need the lecture," he grumbled, pressing a hand to the side of his temple, wincing as it grazed the enflamed bump.
"I'm not trying to—"
"I already have a sister," he snapped, pushing off the floor, making her cringe as he made to hobble over to the home bar. She watched him take off his shirt and place some ice cubes into the bottom half, twisting the material to make himself an improvised icepack.
Bonnie stood, fraught with hurt as she made her way back to the basement. She charged down the stairs before she even knew why, appearing in the entranceway to his makeshift cell again. He didn't look at all shaken by what he might have heard upstairs or all that surprised to see her again.
"Where are they?" she demanded before even beginning to contemplate the idea of him denying her or the fact that he may not have heard what happened upstairs. He hadn't confirmed it before."Where's her family?"
Lily's boisterous visit to the Boardinghouse had entertained Kai quite a bit, but he never showed how much. Wearing the habitual lazy smile, he opened his eyes to peer at the young witch, lacing his hands under his head. "Not where she's looking, I dare assume."
Bonnie hardly thought to stay beyond the border anymore, unable to contain her fury as both Lily and Jeremy had gotten under her skin respectively. "And whereshouldshe be looking?" she queried, rather irked that he appeared so unsurprised and at ease. He must have been able to hear what was going on, he must have known that she was here. "Where are they?" she repeated, suddenly in need of an answer. How close? How far? How much more trouble was she in?
Her heart was picking up speed with every passing second, indicating the growth of her frustration and ire, and Kai wondered when she would start screaming and throwing spells at him to gain intel.
He propped himself on an elbow, regarding her with a condescending amusement. "You're having memory trouble again, Bonsy. Haven't I told you I wasn't here to make it easier for you? To help you ward off the danger and save your friends while they keep pouring shit upon your head and bitch at you when you slip in the pools of it?"
This wasn't about her friends anymore. This was about her. About protecting herself. Bonnie was over the idea of martyring herself and done taking chances with her life. She wanted to tackle the problems before they came to collect her head, like they just did. Hadn't he realized that even he was a raging example of that?
"If you wanna know something you don't and think I do – I'm not just handing it over. Now you will have to fight for it, work for it, win it. And don't wait for me to tell you how. You were smart enough to come up with a perfect vengeance plan when you left me in nineteen-o-three. This one should be a child's game to you."
"And here I thought we were making some headway," she replied, magically hauling him off the thin mattress, shoving the cot aside with the other hand, immobilizing him against the wall for better inspection as she neared. Bonnie hated his smug attitude. She hated how much pleasure he was getting out of tormenting her.
She stayed this way for another minute, making no move to choke or hurt him, purely securing him in place. She was angry and doing her best to contain the desire she had to make him give her the answers.
And boy, was she angry. Kai sensed it coming off her in waves, like faint electricity in the air before a summer thunderstorm. She was eyeing him acutely, and he regarded her with the same lighthearted demeanor he had greeted her with. If there was anything Kai could read in her stare, it was struggling to refrain from torture. She wanted to do what he expected she would consider sooner or later: she itched to beat the answers out of him.
"I'm already giving you my blood," she reasoned. "What more do you want? Your freedom? I'm sure if you wanted that, you'd have taken it."
"You're so quick to belittle yourself, Banzai. What if it's your significant power and spells that keep me here?"
Bonnie liked to think she was finally being realistic. She had taken every precaution when she stationed him here and he had broken each one. The only reason Kai was here—and she believed that now wholeheartedly—was because he chose to be. Bonnie might be naïve to some extent, blinded by certain things and people, but she liked to think that she was steadily taking the blinkers off and allowing herself to see the truth.
"But it's beside the point. I have to remind you yet again of a thing I've already told you earlier – honestly, I really believe you gotta take notes or something. Here goes: there's nothing I want. I'm beyond wanting anything. Aside from blood, obviously, which I guess I hardly can function well without. Or who knows…" Kai looked at her pensively, then with an amusement of genuine wonder. "I actually have no idea if I can or not."
"I guess I should make things a fraction more uncomfortable then," Bonnie announced, summoning him to her as if he were a motionless puppet on a string. She centered him in the middle of the room so she could walk around him, careful not to give him leeway, knowing he'd retaliate. She wasn't prepared to duke it out just yet – not the second time.
The soles of his boots scrapped against the floor as she pulled him in place. She circled him like a hungry wild cat would a trapped antelope. Her fingers tucked into the collar of his denim jacket, sending goosebumps down his back, and pulled it off. She tossed it aside like a useless rag and stood before him, scrutinizing.
"I've been rather hospitable and accommodating to your requests," she said. "And frankly – as bad as I feel about what happened to your family and what I did to you – there is only so much I can do to make it up to you." Her eyes scanned his tee-shirt, and she touched her hand to his chest, fingers skimming the material where the hole from Caroline's fist should have been. Was he that vain that he had used magic to repair it? Or was she missing something?
She chose to brush aside the mystery and put on a deceptively friendly smile. "Not that I'll quit trying. Customarily, when I put my mind to something, I'm all in. And I amallin. But for right now and for this to work, I'm going to need you to loosen up, stop being so indifferent and throw me a bone. Because, like you, I, too, want to find some semblance of a normal life, and I can't do that with Mama Salvatore hovering in the background trying to conjure up new ways to kill me."
Her tone was calm and calculated, and Kai smelled an ultimatum looming just over the hill in her speech. He welcomed it with elated curiosity.
"So if that means I have to take a small break from my attempt to make amends in order to drain you ofmyblood, then that's what I'm going to have to do, right?"
Her fingers were toying with the rim of his shirt, and that calculated frivolity of her tone told Kai loud and clear she begged him not to make her do it. There was also her body language, letting him in on how unstable and possibly scared she was. And she had all reasons to be.
Bonnie wasn't sure she would go through with it, that she was capable of torturing someone – not like Damon, and yet, there was a part of her that was so scared of death and what she had experienced, that she would do anything to keep from repeating it. Anything. And that frightened her more.
Kai felt like a fisherman who's been sitting at a pond for hours staring at his float on the undisturbed surface and now has noticed the tiniest jerk. He was straining his eyes for any faint rings on the water to confirm it had been real and not his wishful thinking.
He clicked his tongue and canted his head, peering at her humorously. "You miss again, Bons."
It made her stomach drop, promptly turning her blood to ice. Bonnie missed the days of his cooperation, of that helpful smile she believed to be fake. This was like pulling teeth.
"For me, there's no semblance of a normal life I could want. I mean," he chuckled, "I don't even know what's normal, anymore, if anything is, at all. Let alone, if I want it. Probably not. Norm is something from science fiction to me."
She felt for Kai. She truly did. She was suffering the same problem. Bonnie convinced herself that once this was over, once Kai, Lily and the Heretics were all respectively dealt with, things would find some semblance of amity. Life and picking up the pieces thereafter would be easy and she would have the answers needed to slow her down. And yet—with Elena's life tied to her own so indefinitely—Bonnie now felt as if her existence had dribbled down into nothing and that taking things day by day wasn't allowed anymore. Bonnie needed to prove she deserved to be here.
She hated feeling like that and she hated questioning her worth for even a second.
He donated a mock deploring expression to her. "From the notes you should've been taking, I quote: I'm not throwing any bones unless you win them. End quote."
"Then we'll have to take a look at desiccation."
Bonnie ignored the end of his shirt, having intended to slice at his stomach a little in reminder of the stunt he pulled with Damon, hoping he'd be disinclined to push her any further. But somehow, she knew that wouldn't be the case, that with the mindset he was in he would push and push and push until his guts, too, were hanging on the floor. Bonnie didn't want to go that far.
She took a hold of his right wrist, feeling the light strains of magic start to take their toll. She wasn't accustomed to doing lengthy bouts of spells like this anymore and knew from experience that she wasn't built to go the extra mile, like some. There were limitations on her, on what she could do, and how much power she could use – there always had been, no matter the source.
Kai sensed magic seep in through the skin and crawl around like disturbed electrons, and looked at her with genuine curios anticipation that shot a bout of shivers up his spine. The float jerked again, and this time it sent ripples across the pond's surface. It was real. Her heart was starting to race nervously, but there was resolution in her eyes.
Bonnie drew her thumb along the length of his wrist, murmuring: "Manere aperta."
The flesh parted like a layered curtain but did not heal – and it wouldn't. Blood trickled down; Kai heard each drop hit the floor at his feet, plop-plop-plop. She repeated it with the other wrist, and neither wound healed. They were deep enough to have severed the veins and provided a steady flow of blood. It was going to take time, but not too long. He stood in two pools of his blood that were gradually expanding and soon would link into one.
"I know you're new to the ways of being a vampire so you're probably unaware of the next step," she said, taking a step back, mindful of the blood starting to pool at their feet and his gasp of pain. She didn't like what she was doing, she didn't take pleasure in it, and she sure as hell hadn't wanted to do it, but what other choice was there? What other means did she have that she could trust would get her quick answers? "But it's called desiccation. Your veins dry up, things become harsher and louder and you'll be desperate to sate your hunger, but unable… unable to move, to feed, and at the end of the day you'll be a dried up old husk of who you used to be. Not a man, not a vampire, merely a piece of decorative and deadly furniture."
Her eyes scrutinized him almost hungrily, eyeing her own float and hoping for a ripple. Wondering if his vanity or his imprisonment would allow him to succumb to something like that. She hopednot.
"And I won't be able to help you as I wouldn't be able to give you my undivided attention. It's not fair to either of us."
Kai glanced down at the widening lake of red under his boots, wiggling his fingers lightly; they were starting to go cold at the tips. "Ugh, so bloodthirsty, Banzai. I'm shivering to the core."
Bloodthirsty? Was that what she had become in wake of loneliness? Wasn't that what changed him? Bonnie, too, shivered, but for another reason, one that made her feel sickened by their more noticeable similarities.
He met her eyes and smiled a little. "Since you're up for some education, tell me, what's next? You bleed me dry, I lose my strength… and you still get no answers, and your town still meets its gruesome fate. So, what's the point?"
"There isn't one," she said, eyeing the blood flowing from his wrists in grisly rivulets. "I'm desperate." Giving no emphasis to the statement, feeling she could admit that without feeling any kind of shame. "I don't want to die for the sake of Damon's poor judgement. So if that means I have no choice but to make a run for it as far from here as possible, then I'm more willing to do that." She had already fought one battle and lost this night. She wasn't sure she was prepared for an entire war. "But there are no more in-betweens for me, no more taking unnecessary risks, no more leaving the hard hits to come to me or underestimating anyone. I'm done screwing around. I'm done negotiating." She had offered him leniency, given Kai the room needed to make up for what she did, but that was as far as Bonnie was willing to go, as far as she was looking to extent her arm—or neck. "Deal's off."
She released Kai, noticing him become a bit paler. He wasn't too weak but he was getting to a point.
Kai wavered where he stood, starting to feel weary from the blood loss. She walked away into the corridor and he lowered on the cot, closing his eyes for a moment to concentrate. A feeble warmth of power caressed the cuts. When he looked down at them, they skinned over sluggishly.
Bonnie walked over to the salt barrier, stretching to swat aside a few bloody grains when Caroline abruptly appeared in front of her.
"What the hell are you doing?" the blonde asked, staring at her friend and the blood all around. She reached down, hauling Bonnie away from the salt barrier and back out. "What's with the blood?"
"We're talking."
"Talking?" Incredulous, she peered inside again. "Are you kidding me?"
"What's going on, Caroline?"
She said nothing, raising a black shirt on her crooked index finger.
"And?"
"It's his," she said, confirming Bonnie's earlier suspicions. They both turned to look at him attentively.
"I liked your resolution, Bonnie," Kai said, ignoring the shirt matter altogether. "Time for negotiations or screwing around is running out quicker than any of you think. Sure, you can run, try to hide, but there's nothing to ever stand between the heretics and your family." He looked at her with a small shrewd smile. "You do have some left, don't you."
Bonnie swallowed hard at the thought of her mother getting caught in the crossfire the second time. Or even Lucy, for that matter – not that she was around or in Bonnie's life, but Bonnie knew Damon managed to contact her and that he'd even taken her blood for the spell they used to get to Bonnie in nineteen-ninety-four. Bonnie hadn't even been aware he knew Lucy or how to contact her. She herself didn't know how to reach her cousin—still didn't.
"Your line of witches helped put them in a prison world for a century – and since I've taken care of my coven, they'll never stop until all of you meet your horrid ends."
For an instant Bonnie saw her grandmother die, saw her mother's neck get snapped and her father's throat cut. All the people she loved had been expendable in some way or another, and not for a second had she thought it to be different now. She needed to warn her, to let Lucy know she was alive again and somehow get a message sent.
"There will be no negotiation or screwing around, you got that right. They're like terminators, the newest models that can't be destroyed by any simple means. Your running won't even slow them down much. But you're free to try – I'll even wish you good luck. So, if you don't need me anymore, either kill me or let me go so I could resume my sacred vow to kill in your honor and share that pleasure with you for the rest of your mortal days." A falsely tender smile stretched his lips.
Bonnie thought with bitter irony how she had been moments from releasing Kai, seconds from opening that door and setting him free, stupidly thinking that his earlier threat to kill in her honor had blown over and that he'd had time to work through things.
"What is he talking about?" Caroline asked, intruding on her thoughts, tossing aside the bloodstained shirt.
"Does it matter?"
"Yes," she answered. "It matters. You're not alone in this anymore, remember?"
Bonnie nodded faintly, wishing they weren't having this conversation where Kai could prop, insert and stir. But there was no safe space upstairs. Not from Damon or Jeremy or anyone else that all of a sudden cared.
"Then tell me and don't try to cushion it," Caroline persuaded. "On a scale from one to ten… how screwed are we?"
"Terminators," Bonnie added. The blonde's nose wrinkled as she tried to wade through the reference. Bonnie arched a brow.
"What?" Caroline said with absolute innocence, reading her momentary exasperation. "I never watched the movies. I mean I did… but I slept mostly. You know they're not my scene."
"Twelve on the scale from one to ten," Bonnie mused in response, seeing her lips part in a light oh of displeasure.
"And there is nothing you can do?"
Bonnie shook her head faintly, ignoring the pang of irritation. Caroline meant well.
"But what about your research?"
"I have one pair of eyes, two hands, a lack of sleep issue, and a limited amount of time."
"I know… I just—I'm not sure if I can give up on this place just yet—"
"And how long is it going to take you to make that decision?" Bonnie interjected far more snippily than she intended. "Who is going to have to die next for you to see how fucked we are? Or are we going to stick with tradition and say: me?"
Caroline's eyes widening, her cheeks warming with obvious embarrassment. "Of course not—"
"Kai's right. They are going to come for me or… Abby. They always do!" Bonnie cast a look over her shoulder to see if any recognition dawned on him in light of her mother's name. How much did he know? How much had he told them?
"Then what can we do?"
"I don't know," Bonnie answered, glancing back at her wearily.
"And what about him?"
"I don't know," she repeated, feeling even more despondent.
Caroline fell silent, unsure of what to say, uncertain of what she could do to make this better or worse.
"Have you talked to Damon?" she asked, making Bonnie exhale wearily. "Maybe Stefan would be better. He could talk to his mother and try to tone down her crazy."
"You mean because that worked so well the first time?"
"Alright then," she said after a few minutes' consideration. "I guess we pack our bags and try to get as far from here as possible. Where should we go? Miami? Texas? Oh, maybe… Rome?"
Bonnie smiled, by no means possessing the heart to tell her that if she, Bonnie, were to leave, to make a run for it, she wouldn't be doing it with them. She would be alone and for safety sake wouldn't tell any of them where.
"You decide," was what she said.
Caroline smiled wider, putting on her best go-with-the-flow face. "I'll talk to Stefan. I mean… he should know of a half-decent place to set up shop. When should we look at—"
"As soon as possible," Bonnie interjected.
"I guess I'll go speak to him, then."
"Good plan." Bonnie made no move to follow as she started for the stairs again. "Oh, and Care… make sure Enzo doesn't catch wind of our intentions, okay?"
"Right. Got it. No Damon." A final nod and she was gone, forgetting why she'd come down here and why Bonnie stayed.
Kai had listened to their exchange with lazy interest, without interjecting. Their idea of just packing things and running amused him, and also let him in on the simple fact he had been almost certain of: none of them knew the true extent of the danger they were in, except for Bonnie who still doubted and fluctuated a lot in her assessments. She nodded and agreed when Caroline bubbled about places they could go and what had to be done before they did, but her heart was not in it, Kai could see.
Bonnie crouched down to pick up the shirt, inspecting it to take her mind off things. "So… tell me, were you being acerbic about spending the next however long at my side trying to make me miserable or have you really reached a stage in your life where you have nothing else to live for?"
Kai laughed. "Do you really deem my goals in life the most appropriate topic right now when you're that screwed? It's interesting, actually, how Caroline, for instance, acts like she has no fucking clue of what's coming, and she's been at the wedding. Amazing how your friends disregard any logic or facts when you're around. Know why? Because they know they don't have to overwork their asses or brains when you can pull your witchy juju and fix everything. Whatever the cost, they know they'll be fine anyhow, because you go out of your way every time to make sure of that." He chuckled. "Wasn't it cute how much disbelief there was in her tone when she kept asking you if there's really nothing you could do? Like she thought you were having her on saying there was no chance. Hilarious. It's like they're all blind in their arrogance, no matter how obvious the threat is."
Considering how much they had faced over the last few years and what they had defeated, Bonnie could understand Caroline's unwavering faith in her. But had she—they—forgotten the length Bonnie had gone to and suffered to achieve most those goals? None of them were easy and none came with a reliable price.
Kai squinted pensively, regarding her. "You remind me of Kassandra. Know that story? She was a clairvoyant woman in Troy who everybody deemed crazy, especially when she started running the streets and crying that Troy would burn and fall. Not one soul believed her! Because every citizen was arrogant enough to believe they were safe behind their walls. I think she died with the city. What a shame! Isn't it? She knew! Of all people, she did. Everyone mocked her, some threw stones telling her to shut up, but she kept warning them, and they kept laughing. I mean, if that were you – wouldn't you just leave them all to their fates and go? Save yourself to watch from the distance and gloat? Nah, she stayed and died with Troy she loved too much to abandon, even if there was fuck-all she could do about any of it. Died for nothing."
In the past – no, Bonnie would have stayed and fought, the same way she refused to run yesterday in spite of Matt's concern. She needed to finish this, she needed to put an end to what she had started, albeit unsuccessfully. Things were different now, far more out of control and deadlier than she cared to partake in and she didn't want to sacrifice herself – not anymore. Not for anyone. Not again. The days of her dying and watching her friends move on with their lives—forgetting about her—were over.
"And here's you, Bonnie of the ancient, powerful Bennett line. What are you gonna do about your Troy?"