Thanks, as always, to you Jess for your reviews! I wonder if the identity of Kit's visitor - and the outcome will come as a surprise! Anyway, this turned out much longer than I intended, but I really couldn't be bothered to break it up, so here's an extra long chapter for you!
"Your man in there, he needs help. He's choking."
It took a minute for the words to register with the ongoing emergency and the blaring alarm for the harried nurse, but when it did and she realised to which patient was being referred to, her eyes widened and she ran into Kit's room. Angus stared after her. It had been tempting, really temping, to walk on by and say nothing, but he knew a death of that nature would lead to an investigation and he wouldn't let anyone face any disciplinary action or worse, lose their careers over desire for revenge. As a doctor himself, he knew how important their careers would be to them. He'd just have to be content with the savage pleasure he felt, seeing Kit's fear. Maybe now he'd have just an idea of how terrorised Andrea had felt. And maybe now he'd suffer a fate worse than death. He'd just have to wait and see. Angus walked into Andrea's room, making her jump, but she relaxed on seeing him. To his surprise, she was alone and wearing tartan pyjamas, rather than the gown he'd last seen her in.
"What's happening?" she asked, gesturing to outside.
"Crash call," he said. "Not sure what. Though they nearly missed another, over all that noise."
From his tone, she guessed.
"Kit?"
"Yes. I just wanted to see the evil face of the man who killed my brother when he couldn't ram a car into me. I didn't even want an explanation or an apology, not that I would have gotten one. He was doing his usual taunting, then he started choking."
She stared at him, wondering why Kit couldn't clear his own airway and Angus; eyebrow crinkled.
"Didn't anyone tell you? He has a fracture in his neck. He couldn't sit up by himself to clear it, any movement and he could risk paralysis or even death."
He'd deserve it too. Andrea battled with herself, thinking again about all the damage and destruction left in Kit's wake. Angus shook his head.
"I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about just leaving him to choke and die, but you've said it and so has everyone else. It's not justice. He shouldn't get the easy way out. He needs to rot in jail. It's the only way we can find some measure of peace. I think seeing Bruce today…"
Angus dropped his head as the tears burned his eyes. Andrea put a tentative hand on his and he clasped it. He then pulled his hands away abruptly, staring at his hands in horror.
"What?" Andrea said, alarmed.
"My ring," he said. "I mean, Bruce's ring. They gave it to me today with his stuff; it's gone."
"Are you sure you didn't leave it at home!"
"I wish I did!" he said, then looked regretful at his tone. "Sorry. I don't mean to get so irate, but I was definitely wearing it when I came here, I was looking at it in the lift."
"Then it can't have gone too far," she said reasonably. "There aren't very many places it could have fallen off. Did you go anywhere else apart from Kit's room?"
Angus shook his head, remembering then how Kit had grabbed his hand in desperation when he was choking, but he'd hardly noticed at the time with the savage pleasure he felt at seeing Kit's pain. He made to rise but had barely done so before the Tony came in.
"Oh," he said, looking at Angus in surprise. "They managed to stabilise Mr Maynard, I should have been there, but I went to assist with the crash, so thanks. Your quick action saved his life."
Angus nodded stiffly, and said; "I'm a doctor myself. I couldn't let a patient die. Even if they happened to be the one who killed my brother."
"Yeah," Tony said. "I wondered who the nurse was on about when she said Andrea's brother told them about him. You shouldn't have really been…"
"I know. I'm sorry. I won't go back in. I hope I haven't gotten you in any trouble."
"No," he said. "Don't worry. Is this yours? It was on the floor in his room."
He held out his hand, and in it sat the ring Andrea recognised as the one she'd never seen Bruce without. Angus' face broke in relief.
"Thank you. Thanks so much. I thought I'd lost it. It was Bruce's."
"I guessed from the initials," Tony said. "I'm really sorry about what happened to your brother. I was first on the scene with my colleague when it was called in."
"And I'm sure you did all you could for him," Angus said. "Thank you."
Tony nodded, then his eyes flicked to Andrea and he said; "they said they're stepping you down from here."
She nodded, relieved. "Yes. I'd rather be out of here altogether, but…"
"You'll stay until you're well enough to leave," he said in the stern fatherly tone she'd rarely heard him use and put a hand on her shoulder. "I'd better get back. Look after yourself."
"Thanks Tony," she said as he left, then glanced at Angus. He was staring at the ring, a mix of emotion on his face and tentatively held out her hand. "Can I?"
"Yes, of course," he said and put the ring in her hand. She ran her finger over the smooth silver. "I never saw him without this. I remember he used to twist it around and around if he was agitated or anxious about something. He didn't show it outwardly but if you knew what to look for…"
"What, like this?" Angus said, and demonstrated the way she remembered Bruce fiddling with his ring. She nodded and he smiled. "Yeah. I do that too. Everyone knows when I do that in a briefing or ward rounds or whatnot, it means I'm edgy."
"You have some similar mannerisms," Andrea said. "I'm really sorry you didn't get a chance to make up."
She gave the ring back, but jumped when he caught her arm, then paled as he pushed back her sleeve to reveal the huge bruise he'd glimpsed on her arm. Angus raised her eyes to her face.
"What happened?"
"They took out the cannula," she said, aiming for an air of nonchalance. "It was hurting. No prizes for guessing why."
"Andrea, please." he said. "Remember who you're talking to. I'm a doctor. Cannulas bruise but they don't often look like that."
She glanced towards the door, then back at him. "Look, you can't tell Smithy. Promise me. He'll flip."
"All right," he said slowly. "Though why that's unreasonable, I'm not sure."
"It's not," she said. "But he'll act and not think. I don't want him getting himself into trouble."
"Okay, I promise," he said and squeezed her hand. "So?"
"Remember the bawbag?"
"Yeah," he said, with a slight laugh, which died from his face almost as quickly as it appeared, replaced with an outraged look. "What, he did that?"
"He paid me a little visit today," Andrea said. "We never got on, even when I was at Sun Hill. It's a long story, really, but let's say we butted heads. Quite a lot. Anyway, I wasn't best pleased to see him and went for my buzzer. He grabbed me and…." She trailed off and shrugged. "I told Smithy that after Kit and Venezuela, I was a lot better at seeing crazy. I saw it in Gabriel the first time we met."
"Gabriel," Angus half muttered to himself. "There's a contradictory name if ever there was one. I prefer bawbag, personally."
"Yeah. Me too."
"So, why did he come in here? What did he want?"
"To give me a message. From Kit. That I was still his brown-eyed girl."
Andrea's voice shook on the last few words. Angus pulled her to him, feeling her trembling.
"You need to report him. You can't let him get away with that."
"No point," Andrea said. "He won't admit it and I can't see Kit doing so either. Any anyway, if I'm going to nail him, I'll do it for the worst he's done, not ferrying Kit's threats."
"The worst?"
"Let's just say in evil's stakes, he and Kit are competing for a place at the right hand side of a little guy with horns and a pitchfork."
"Andrea, I'm all for stopping people who do awful things, but don't you think one crazy person is enough?"
"Usually, yes," she said. "But when they're wearing a uniform, they have more power. Or they think they do. I won't explain it all, Angus, but he's dangerous. That's what I was trying to do before…before Bruce outed me. I was trying to bring him down. He needs to be stopped, before he hurts anyone else."
"And if that someone is you? Look what he did to you already," Angus said, picking up her wrist. "Look at that."
"And compared to the rest, its small fry," Andrea said and pushed back her hair. "I have to do something, Angus, or nobody will."
"Well you'll at least let the current war wounds recover, won't you?"
"Yeah," she said. "As soon as I'm fit to travel, I'm going back to Glendarroch to stay with mum and dad to do just that."
"Glendarroch, huh? Nice place."
"You know it? Most people, even the ones from Scotland, seem to think I'm making it up."
"Yes. That's where our mother was born. Moved to Glasgow when she met our dad. Didn't Bruce tell you that?"
Andrea shook her head. There was so much she'd never spoken to Bruce about, despite the things they had in common; where they came from, what they did for a living. She hadn't even noticed his interest in her – or so people had said. Maybe if she hadn't been so angry at him that day, wound him up so much, he wouldn't have followed her outside and Kit never would have seen him. Angus put a hand on hers.
"I'll be going up there myself," he said. "For the funeral. You'll still come?"
"Yeah," she said, wiping her eyes. "Of course."
"Good," he said. "And I'll be back for the trial. However long it takes."
"I'll be there, too," she said and they both turned as Smithy came in, holding a bulging carrier bag.
"To think it's nearly spring, it's freezing out there. Hi Angus," he said, putting the bag on the bedside table. "Tony said our friend had somewhat of an emergency, but you saved his life."
"I just alerted the right people, that's all," Angus said.
"You're a better man than me," Smithy said, sitting beside Andrea, then frowning as he caught sight of her arm. "What happened there?"
"They took the cannula out," she said, grateful for Angus' poker face. "It was hurting all day. Now I know why."
"Nasty," he said.
"Yeah," she said. "But I didn't need it. They're moving me out of here. I don't need ICU anymore."
"Good," he said. "And you'll be away from him."
"Small mercies," Andrea said, dragging her legs to her chest. "I'll feel better once I'm out of here."
"You'll stay until they think you're fit to leave," he said and Andrea rolled her eyes.
"God, you sound like Tony."
"You do," Angus said, with a laugh, getting to his feet. "Look, I have to be off. I have a few appointments about the house tomorrow, so I might not see you."
"That's okay," Andrea said. "Have a nice night."
When he departed, Smithy motioned to Andrea to budge up. She did and he sat on the bed. She curled up at his side, his arm around her.
I don't need you to sell
me on reasons to want you
I don't need you to search
for the proof that I should
You don't have to convince me
You don't have to be
scared you're not enough
'Cause what we've got going is good
"Part of me wishes he didn't get Kit help, Smithy. Is that terrible?"
"Maybe it should be," he said. "But no, not after all he did. We're only human, Andrea, even if we are police. Or were."
He felt her tense and could have broken his arm again for bringing it up, and felt her chest rise and fall in a deep sigh.
"I wish I still was."
"Yeah. Me as well." They both went quiet and he had to ask, what had been bothering him since she'd spoken to Shannon. "Andrea…we don't have to go into detail now, but when you were talking to Shannon, you told her he'd been violent more than once. Were there other times? Than the two I know about?"
She was quiet, tracing invisible patterns on his t-shirt and he was about to take her silence as a cue to shut up, when she spoke.
"I said I didn't remember a lot. And I didn't. Until I started to. It wasn't always…using his fists. And I know it doesn't make it right, now, but I thought, at the time…there were instances when he'd grab me. Push me. Once down some stairs."
At Smithy's intake of breath, she looked up at him.
"It wasn't a big flight of stairs. Maybe four."
"That doesn't make it…"
"I know, but he had his ways of making me feel it wasn't his fault. Kirsty and I were going out with some of the others from the voluntary programme. It was supposed to be a girls night, but he was insisting on coming. I told him no and he started with what they all say. 'You're meeting a man, that's why you don't want me there, blah, blah, blah.' Anyway, he got so angry with me telling him he wasn't coming, and told me to go and be a slut if that was what I wanted and pushed me. Like I said, it wasn't a big fall, but I twisted my ankle. So there was no girls night for me, just a night in with another ice pack and a sicking sweet Kit. Well, there were plenty anyway. Of the girls nights, that is. What was one missed?"
"Don't do that. Don't be blasé. He abused you. That's not a small thing."
"I know that. I wasn't trying to be blasé, not really. It's just I've never talked about this. I don't know how else to be."
"Hopefully seeing the therapist will help," he said. "What about…was he…did he hurt you in any other way?"
"He didn't hold me down and force himself on me if that's what you're asking," she said and felt him sag in relief. "But he could be…intense."
"Did you ever ask him to stop?"
She shook her head.
"Why?"
The word was out before he could stop it and he closed his eyes. You never asked a victim something like that.
"Don't know," she said. "I was so young at the time and he was the first…I guess I thought that was just how it was."
Which also might explain why she was so resistant to his persistence, Smithy thought guiltily then shook himself. He wouldn't make this about him.
"All right," he said softly. "We don't have to talk about it anymore."
The door eased open then, and the nurse came in with a porter pushing a wheelchair.
"Sorry to interrupt. The bed on the ward is ready. We can take you down."
"Oh, I…" Andrea said, looking at her half-packed bag.
"I'll do it," Smithy said, getting off the bed and helping Andrea into the wheelchair. "Just give me a few minutes."
I don't need more reminders
of all that's been broken
I don't need you to fix
what I'd rather forget
Clear the slate and start over
Try to quiet the noises in your head
We can't compete with all that
Thankfully, the stay on the general inpatient ward was only a matter of days. Andrea was grateful for those small mercies and breathed much easier when she was away from Kit, who, she was told was continuing his recovery under watchful police guard. Part of her hoped he'd fall flat on his face during the physiotherapy and snap his neck in half, rendering him quadriplegic. Short of being dead, that was one sure and certain way to make sure he couldn't hurt anyone else ever again, at least not physically. His foul little mind might be another matter, but at least being behind bars would prevent that. Did they even jail people who were paralysed so severely? Maybe it was just better he recovered, even if other people couldn't. She sat cross legged on her bed, waiting patiently for her parents to come and pick her up. She was going home today and had been sternly told that she was to rest, nothing more. She'd asked about going home to Scotland, and he'd advised she should be fine driving – as the passenger that was – but to stop and seek help immediately if she felt any dizziness, blurred vision or nausea. She smiled to herself. He'd met her mother; did he think there was any chance she wouldn't? Andrea lowered her legs to the floor and went to the window, staring out, rubbing her arm absently where it was still bruised. Her mother had given her that look when she'd told her it was from the cannula. She supposed that she, like Angus, knew cannula bruising when she saw it, but she hadn't persisted. She probably assumed it was Kit's handiwork. She had no intention of correcting her. At least that was one silver lining of going home, not that she resented it, but she'd be away from the likes of Gabriel and Kit. And from Smithy. That hurt. He looked at her with so much love and she knew he wasn't a monster like Kit or a cheater like Marc, but twice bitten…she wondered if she'd always struggle to let him in. he might eventually lose patience and look for someone else less scarred by the ghosts of their past. She wouldn't hold him back if so. The door opened behind her, Andrea turned, expecting her parents but was surprised by Gina Gold.
"Oh," she said. "Hello."
"Hi," said the Inspector. "How're you feeling?"
"All right, thank you," she said tentatively. Despite Gina's kindness to her, she wasn't sure how much of it wasn't through a sense of duty. She motioned Andrea should sit down and she did, her heart sinking. Here they went. Leave Smithy alone now, he deserves better. Our duty to you is over.
"I thought you might like to know," Gina said, sitting down with her. "We've charged Kit. With kidnapping, false imprisonment and attempted murder in regards to you, with conspiracy to commit GBH in regards to Smithy and with the murders of Bruce Malcolm and Bill Carter."
Andrea blinked at her. "You got evidence? With Bruce and Bill?"
"Well, we had a more thorough search of the flat he'd been hiding out in and we found the set of keys, the ones you'd given Mr Carter. Sam identified them as the ones he'd provided her with, but if you could…"
She produced a photograph of the keys with the fish keyring. Andrea nodded. She provided a second picture of what looked like black string. Andrea gave her a confused look, then took the photograph, noting the tarnished silver clasps.
"The cord," she said. "The one the pendant was on."
"You're sure it's that one?"
"Well, it's really worn and old," Andrea said, giving the picture back. "But it looks like it."
"Forensics found traces of Kit's DNA on it as well as Mr Carter's. I think that's pretty conclusive."
Andrea nodded and Gina brought out a third picture.
"We showed this to Angus, but of course he and Bruce had little contact over the last few years. He couldn't tell us if it was Bruce's or not, but maybe you could…"
Andrea took the picture and made herself look at the image of the silver chain. Like the ring, she never saw Bruce without it. The clasp was broken, no doubt that had happened during Kit's ferocious attack on Bruce. She could see specks of blood on the silver.
"Yes. That's Bruce's. I mean, he had one identical, but I'm guessing the blood…"
"Yes. It's his," Gina said, taking the picture back. "It's a slam dunk, Andrea. He's going down. I'd be very surprised if it wasn't a whole life order."
"What about Kirsty?"
"The CPS doesn't think we can charge him in relation to her death," said the Inspector. "Or with the drugging, since she went there with the intent to drug him and he merely switched the glasses. But by all accounts, she ran at him on the roof. I'm sorry Andrea."
He wouldn't answer for her death and she wouldn't answer for what she did. Some might think it was poetic justice but it just left a bad taste in her mouth.
"I don't understand, Ma'am. What was his endgame? He came here caused all…all this and kept evidence like that? He must have known he wasn't going to get away with it."
Gina was silent. Andrea looked at her, eyes huge and round.
"You know something else, don't you?"
"I think I've shared enough with you for now. Not because…," she added, "This isn't a trust thing, Andrea. I think we're over that bridge. Your recovery is more important. You will know, but I don't think it's a good idea now to drop everything on you. But let's just say I don't think Mr Maynard intended on getting out of this alive."
Then maybe Angus should have left him to choke. But of course, for a control freak like Kit, that would defeat the purpose. He wanted to go by his own hand, not someone else's. Gina read her thoughts and patted her hand.
"He'll get our justice, Andrea. His control stops now."
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Good girl. Smithy says you're going back to Scotland."
"Yeah, I'm not sure how long for, but…"
"It'll do you some good," she said. "Get away from all this. You need rest and recovery."
And it would get her away from Smithy and hopefully he'd forget all about her. She expected those to be the Inspector's next words, but they weren't.
"He'll miss you," Gina said. "He loves you. Anybody can see that. And I think you've been through enough, the both of you. So do me a favour?"
"What?" Andrea said tentatively, and Gina got to her feet.
"Make sure you come back."
So what if it's us?
What if it's us, and only us?
And what came before won't
Count anymore or matter?
Can we try that?
What if it's you, and what if it's me
And what if that's all that we need it to be
And the rest of the world falls away?
What do you say?
It felt weird being back home. Andrea wasn't sure she could even call it that any more, it felt ruined now; the flat she'd bought, decorated and made into a home felt tainted by Kit. The thought of staying here made her feel sick. Her mother said she shouldn't let him ruin it for her, but he'd invaded this home with his evil. She wasn't sure she could escape that. She sat on her armchair, covered with a blanket. She wasn't even cold, but her mother had insisted on it, with Hugo on her lap. He'd been returned to her and had gotten over her abandonment of him pretty quickly. It was almost as if he knew something bad had happened and he sat contentedly on her lap, purring. She wondered if she'd bring him with her back to Scotland or ask Smithy to look after him, as a sure sign she would come back. Part of her was still shocked that Gina had asked her to, she thought she'd never forgive her for what she'd done at Sun Hill, but as she'd said before she'd left her earlier, she knew good people when she saw them, and Andrea was far from not being one, no matter what. That had nearly brought her to tears. When she'd gotten home, she'd spoken to Kirsty's mother on the phone, and she had then bought her to tears. Kirsty's mother too, alternating between apologising for things she need not apologising for, to anger, at Kit, at Kirsty, at Marc. She'd ranted that he'd come to see Olly – who by now knew that his mother was dead – brought him a load of expensive presents, then floated off again.
"We probably won't see him for a while, if ever," Kirsty's mother had said resentfully. "Well, it's his loss. He'd only raise Olly to be a loser like him. We'll raise him better. He doesn't care, Andrea, practically bit our hands off when we said we'd have him. That we'd do better raising him with his mother's memory, than him to was so busy with work to devote the time Olly needed. Offered us money. I nearly spat in his face, but raising a child is expensive and Olly should have something from that wastrel. We'll put anything he gives us into a fund for Olly, so he can have the chance of a good start."
She took a breath in her rant to anxiously ask Andrea if she was coming to the funeral. They were to have it in their hometown of Glendarroch and were currently planning. They were just waiting for her body to be released for burial. Andrea assured her that she would indeed be going, that she was going back to Scotland herself.
"I'm glad you're okay, lass," Kirsty's mother had said sincerely. "And I'm sorry, that all this was brought to your door. If I'd known years ago, even just about what Kirsty had done, I would have insisted she tell you or tell you myself if she didn't."
"I know," Andrea said. "This isn't your fault. It's a chain reaction. There's no way she would have foreseen this coming."
At that point, Ailsa had taken over the call, seeing Andrea was becoming overwrought. Not that she'd said as such to Kirsty's mother, but had spoken to her, mother to mother, as only they could. Now, she sat cosy and warm with a cup of tea and her cat on her lap as her parents dutifully packed up Kirsty's belongings in the spare room. There was of course no point them paying out for a hotel when she had a perfectly good spare room. Lachlan emerged from the room and gave her a small smile.
"That's done, darling. We'll take it with us when we go back, give it to them when we see them at… Well. It's not much but it might be some measure of comfort."
"They have her house to clear out," Andrea said, thinking of Kirsty's modest little property. If only she'd known that when she'd left that night, the night she went to see her, she'd never go back. Maybe she would have packed differently, taken other sentimental items.
"I think they've sent the boys to do that," he said. "The landlord wants to let the property as soon as possible."
"Well, why should he let the small matter of a dead young woman stop that?" Andrea said with biting sarcasm. Lachlan sat on the arm of her chair, sliding his arm around her shoulders.
"If it was you I was doing that for," he said. "I don't know what I'd do. At least they have other children to help them through this. Your mother and I only have you. Every day, I wake up and thank God it's not you lying in that mortuary. It very nearly was."
"Me too," Andrea said and laid her head on her dad's lap. She hadn't done that in years. He smoothed back her hair.
"You don't have to keep things from us anymore, darling. You never did."
"I know. I'm sorry, dad."
"I don't want you to apologise," he said. "I want you to know that mum and I, we're always here for you. And we'll be here throughout your recovery. And through the trial. And whatever else comes with it. We'll face it together."
"Yeah, we will," Andrea said as Ailsa came out of the room, bed linen in her arms.
"I've changed the bed linen, Tiggy, I hope that's okay."
"Of course," Andrea said, watching Ailsa cram the load she was holding into the washing machine.
"Now, about dinner, darling, what do you want?"
"I don't mind," Andrea said, with a shrug.
"What about some nice fish and chips? I saw a lovely looking takeaway on the corner?"
"Yeah, nice," Andrea said and pointed to her bag. "Take the money from my purse though. Its Scottish sterling notes," she added as Ailsa opened her mouth, she was sure, to put her back in her place. "They're really funny around here about accepting it."
"Its legal tender!" Ailsa said, outraged.
"I know, but it's not worth the hassle," Andrea said. "Especially not when you're hungry."
Ailsa closed her mouth then, and did as Andrea said, but she noticed that she'd swapped her Scottish notes with Andrea's own money. She left and Lachlan laughed.
"Nicely played, darling."
They looked at each other and laughed, then Lachlan rose as the doorbell rang. He went to answer it and opened the door to Smithy, looking like a whipped puppy.
"You just run into my missus, lad?"
"Yeah," Smithy said. "Does she always like to feed people like that?"
"Oh yes," he said. "You don't leave our house without being fed and watered. I'd better go after her, Tiggy, she might try and start a fight about Scottish sterling, knowing her."
"Scottish sterling?" Smithy said, taking Lachlan's place on the arm of the chair as he left. Andrea rolled her eyes.
"My mother is outraged that shops around here don't like taking Scottish money, even though its legal tender. I hope you're not overly hungry. If she picks a fight, we'll be waiting a while."
"I can wait," he said, and kissed her head. "Happy to be home?"
"Well, I'm happier than I was in St Hugh's. At least I don't have Kit as a next door neighbour anymore. And he won't be going anywhere."
"Gina said she'd been to see you," he said. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."
"It's fine," she said. "You need to take a breather every now and then too."
Maybe true, but he still should have been there. He stroked her neck, and said, "Why do they call you Tiggy?"
"Apparently when I was a kid, I was always leaping around like Tigger. Tigger became Tiggy." She shrugged. "I'm surprised they didn't legally change it, they call me that more than my name."
He laughed, then said, "Angus called me earlier. He's going back to Scotland tomorrow, to see some family. He asked if he could stop in before he left."
"Of course he can," she said, bewildered. "He doesn't need to ask."
"I think he just didn't want to overwhelm you," he said and she looked up at him.
"Did she tell you anything else, Smithy? About what they found in Kit's flat?"
"No," he said. "I think she knew I'd struggle to keep it from you, and it wouldn't be fair. I think for the time being, it's better not to know. He can't hurt you again, that's the main thing. And soon, you'll be far out of his reach. Need me to look after Hugo?"
"Do you mind?"
"Of course not," he said. "I'd be happy to."
"Thanks," she said, wishing he'd be in Scotland with her.
I never thought there'd be someone
like you who would want me
So I give you ten thousand
reasons to not let me go
But if you really see me
If you like me for me and nothing else
Well, that's all that I've wanted for
longer that you could possibly know
Smithy had stayed the night, it had been the first time in weeks Andrea had felt safe, and with his arms wrapped around her she'd had the first peaceful sleep in weeks. He was still asleep when she woke and she looked at his relaxed face, then leant up to kiss his cheek. His face twitched, but he slept on. She'd leave him. He needed the sleep. She slipped from the bed and put her dressing down on, going out to the living area where Lachlan was awake, reading the newspaper. He smiled widely at his daughter.
"Your mum's taken the car," he said. "Gone to do a shop to make us breakfast."
"She doesn't have to go to so much trouble."
"She wants to look after you, Tiggy. Let her, hm? It makes her happy." His eyebrow twitched. "And gives me some peace."
"Well when you put it like that," Andrea said and her dad laughed, getting up.
"Tea?"
"Thanks," she said.
"Nice to see you're sticking to the Scottish tea," he said. "This harsh water, though…"
"Yeah, I know. That's something else I can look forward to, fresh water."
"There are the perks," he said, then glanced to her bedroom. "That's a lovely young man."
"Yeah, he is," she said, and coming from her dad, it was high praise. Like most dads, it took time for him to like his daughter's boyfriends. Not that she'd had many, but he'd thought he'd liked Marc, and he'd really let her down. She was pleased he'd taken to Smithy so quickly, but then thought about how in a few short days, she'd be miles away from him. Lachlan put a tea in front of her and gave her cheek a loving stroke.
"He's welcome, darling, anytime to come and stay."
"He'll be pleased," she said, trying to be upbeat. "How's Mrs Mack these days?"
"Same as always," Lachlan said, rolling his eyes. "She never changes, Tiggy. The new girl in Glendarroch happens to like other girls. She's scandalised."
"Jesus," Andrea muttered. "Get with the 21st century already."
"She's stuck in the Victorian era," Lachlan said wisely. "She'll never change. I think most people have learnt to ignore her. She hasn't got a sniff of any of this. We'll make sure she won't, and if by any small chance, she does…your mother and I will deal with it."
"Thanks, dad," she said. "The last thing I need now is her judgements and bible bashing."
"Is this that mad old woman?" Smithy asked, emerging from the bedroom. "She sounds like a character."
"That's one word for her, I have more, none of which I'll say out loud," Lachlan said. "Tea, lad?"
"Thanks," Smithy said, sitting beside Andrea, planting a kiss on her cheek.
"I was saying to Tiggy. You must come and stay sometime; you've be very welcome. I could pick you up from the airport or train station or whatever."
"Thanks Mr…Lachlan," Smithy said, hastily correcting herself. "That's really kind of you."
Andrea's dad gave him a smile as he gave him his tea. Then he picked up his and said; "I'll finish this in the garden if that's okay. Get a look at what work I can do out there before we go."
He went outside, shutting the door behind him. Andrea laid her head on Smithy's shoulder.
"You'll come, won't you?" she said. "I know you won't be off work much longer, but…"
"Of course," he said. "I have lots of time owing and annual leave, as Gina keeps reminding me. As soon as I can sort it out with her, I'll make the arrangements."
"I don't want to leave you behind, Smithy," she said. "I love you. I'm sorry I didn't say it before. But I love you. I do."
He put his arms around her in relief, and said; "you have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that."
It was when Ailsa was back, happily in her prime frying bacon, eggs and sausages for breakfast when the doorbell rang.
"That'll be Angus," Smithy said, and made to rise but Lachlan waved him down and went to answer it.
"Hi, lad, come on in," he said, stepping back.
"Thanks," Angus said, stepping over the threshold.
"Breakfast, Angus?" Ailsa said, smiling. "There's plenty."
"That's kind of you, but I really can't stay long. I have a flight I need to catch. Hi Smithy."
"Hey," Smithy said, untangling his arm from Andrea's shoulders. "You okay?"
Angus nodded wearily, his eyes dark and baggy. "Yeah, fine," he said. I think it's just all catching up with me. Andrea, could I have a minute? Alone? Do you mind?"
"No," Andrea said, getting up. "That's fine. Shall we go out here?"
She indicated the garden and led him over when he nodded, stepping outside and showing him over to the bench.
"Gina came to see me last night," he said. "Told me that they've charged him with Bruce's murder."
"Yeah," she said softly. "I know. At least we have that to be thankful for, Angus, when the evidence was found, it was easy to find. Though, something she said gave me the impression that wasn't entirely unintentional."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, she implied that they thought Kit intended to leave through his own means. That's the impression I got anyway."
"Then I'm glad I got him help," Angus said coldly. "Now I know that. He shouldn't get the easy way out."
"No," she said and put a hand on his arm. "You're too good a man to let anyone die like that anyway."
"I nearly wasn't. But then I realised it would make me no different to him." Angus reached into his coat pocket. "Look, Andrea…I want you to have something to remember my brother by. Like I said, I can't take everything back to Oz and I'm at my luggage limit already. It's not much, but I'd like you to have it. Please."
He took out a small thin box and held it out. Andrea took the box and opened it, staring at the familiar calligraphy pen she'd seen Bruce use often. She swallowed.
"He loved this pen," she said. "Always called it his lucky pen. He said when he used it, he was onto something good."
"Really?" Angus said, pleased. "I gave him that when he graduated from university. I'm glad he didn't just let it tarnish away in some cupboard. Will you accept it?"
"Yeah," she said. "I will. Thank you."
"No Andrea, thank you," he said. "I wouldn't have gotten through this without you and Smithy. And you'd be very welcome to come out to me in Melbourne, whenever you like. The both of you. I have plenty of space."
"Thanks Angus," Andrea said sincerely. "I'll hold you to that,"
"I'll look forward to it," he said and looked at his watch. "I should go."
"Let me know when you get to Glasgow," Andrea said as they walked to the house. "Is someone meeting you?"
"Yeah, my favourite cousin," he said opening the door. "I mentioned him before."
He let her in first, then followed her in, and was immediately ambushed by Ailsa, shoving a bacon roll in his direction.
"Breakfast to go," she said. "You can't be travelling on an empty stomach, even if it's only a short journey."
"Make your life easier," Andrea muttered to him. "Just take it."
"Wise advice," Lachlan said, glancing up from his crossword. "I'd take it, lad. The advice and the bacon roll."
Angus laughed, a real deep laugh, a sound Andrea hadn't heard from him and accepted the food.
"Thank you. That's really kind. I'll see myself out. Andrea, I'll see you soon."
"Bye," she said, watching as he left and the door closed
"Everything okay?" Smithy said as she sat by his side.
"Yeah," she said. "He just wanted me to have something to remember Bruce by."
She handed him the box wordlessly. He opened it and his eyes widened.
"That's nice," he said. "Looks expensive."
"Yeah. He used to use it a lot," she said and he put an arm around her shoulders.
"Hey," he said. "I know it's not all over yet, but we're nearly there. Bruce, Bill and Kirsty, they'll all get their justice. I know it's not necessarily peace, but it's something, isn't it?"
"Yeah," she said. "Of course. We couldn't have gotten a better outcome from what was made."
Ailsa bought two plates over to the sofa, surprising Andrea. She didn't often let people eat on the sofa, except for when they were poorly. She supposed this counted as poorly.
"Thanks, Ailsa, this looks great," Smithy said, taking his.
"Always good to see a lad with a good appetite," she said pleased. "You're very welcome. And you'll come to visit us in Glendarroch, won't you? I can't make you an authentic Scottish breakfast, including haggis."
"I'll look forward to it," Smithy said, smiling widely as he met Andrea's eyes.
So it can be us
It can be us, and only us
And what came before won't
count anymore or matter
We can try that
It's not so impossible
Nobody else but the two of us here
'Cause you're saying it's possible
We can just watch the whole world disappear
Til you're the only one I still know how to see
Smithy had only been away from the station for a matter of weeks, but it felt more like months, and he still couldn't go back, not even on light duties. The doctor wouldn't clear him fit to work for another few weeks, so he wouldn't even have that to distract him from the ache of Andrea's absence. He sighed. She and her parents were leaving later that day for the drive back to Scotland; Ailsa and Lachlan had wanted to be sure she was fit for such a long journey before they made it. Now she'd been given the go ahead, they were heading back and he'd promised to see her off. he had to act like he was happy; and he was, for her, but for himself, not so much. Gina tapped her pen on the desk, surveying him.
"Smithy, what're you doing here?"
"I was trying to get you to let me back earlier, sod the doctor's orders…"
"Which you knew I wouldn't do," she said. "Even if I thought you were fit myself. What are you doing here? Why aren't you with Andrea?"
"I'm seeing her off later."
Gina sighed, drawing out some patience. Was he always this much of a prat, or was he really still just that concussed?
"Smithy, what are you doing here?" she said again. "She's waiting for you."
"She's going home, Gina, I'll be here when she comes back."
She sighed again and said; "and what, in the meantime, you're both miserable apart? Look. You have annual leave and time owing, a lot of it. So I'll ask you again, why are you here? Why aren't you with her?"
His head came up off his hand as if he was just getting her drift, his eyes narrowed. "What is this, Gina? I thought you hated the idea of us together."
"That was before I really knew her," she said. "And even if I did, you'd really let what me or anyone else thought stand in your way? You've been through too much, you both have, to let something good go. You have the time and you have the invitation, Smithy, so what are you waiting for? Go and get your girl."
"But…I'm supposed to be having the cat…"
"Give me strength," Gina said, with a roll of her eyes. "I'll look after the fleabag. He's actually quite good company, and he'll be a damn better sight than you and your long face."
He should have been offended, and got to his feet, shaking with excitement.
"Really? You mean it?"
"I mean it," she said. "Now go. Just drop the keys in to me before you go, so I can get the fleabag."
"I will," he said, and stumbled around the desk, grabbing her in a strangling hug. "Thanks, Gina. You're the best second mum ever."
"Away with you," she said, giving him a quick hug. "And let go before anyone sees."
"If they think you don't know already that you're soft…"
"Enough of that, thank you. These walls have ears and I like my fearsome reputation intact. Now get out of here. And send me a postcard. I'll sort out your leave."
She watched him rush from the room and smiled to herself. He was happy. That was all that really mattered.
Andrea stared at her large suitcase, biting her lip. She wasn't sure if she should be packing for summer, or if she would even be home that long. Her parents were out, getting a rare look around London before they had to go. Ailsa had been reluctant to leave her alone, but Lachlan had sensed Andrea's brimming frustration with her mother's fussing, so they'd left her alone 'just for a few hours.' The bell rang and Andrea sighed. The few hours was only one. But wait…they had keys. She went to answer it and blinked in surprise.
"Smithy?" I wasn't expecting you for…"
He silenced her with a kiss, backing her into the wall, sliding one hand down her back, the other cupping her neck. She pulled back for breath.
"Smithy, what…"
"I'm coming with you," he said, his look intense as he held her face, looking into her eyes. "Is that okay? Please say it is."
"But…work…"
"Forget work," he said. "I told you, I have annual leave and time owing. Enough for me to take an extended break. And I want to spend it with you. Gina said she'll look after the cat. All I need do is go home and pack. Please say yes."
A smile spread across her face and he matched it with his own as she slid her arms around his neck.
"I'd like you there. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving you behind. I love you, Smithy."
He put his arms around her, lifting her off her feet, swinging her from side to side, his face in her hair, happier than he'd ever been.
"I love you too."
It's just you and me
It'll be us, It'll be us
And only us
And what came before won't count anymore
We can try that, you and me
That's all that we need it to be
And the rest of the world falls away
And the rest of the world falls away
The world falls away
The world falls away
And it's only us
The song is Only Us also from the musical Dear Evan Hansen. The story isn't quite over yet, so I'll see you in the next chapter!