"Eivor, it has been some time. How are you?" Valka greeted Eivor with her usual smile as she finished crushing herbs.

Her cabin was small and full to the brim with dried herbs, both hanging and jarred, that she used to help the people of Ravensthorpe in their spiritual paths. Sounds of nature and the smells of damp and Earth calmed Eivor as she settled. She had not understood at first why Valka wanted to set her cabin so far back and away from the people, but on days like these, she understood.

"I wish I could say that I am doing better, but it seems my condition has only worsened." She sat herself on the bed that she had familiarized herself with years ago. The Seer had helped Eivor define her paths when she was trying to find Sigurd and again when she became Jarl, helping to clear her head to make way for important decision making.

It was time again that she was honest with her now that her mental state seemed to be declining further. Valka knew that Eivor had not been herself these past few months, but she had been kept in the dark as to how severe it had gotten. Eivor preferred to keep her problems to herself for as long as possible, but even she was starting to regret waiting so long to seek counsel.

The Seer put her tools down as a frown took the place of her smile. "You seemed to be in good spirits yesterday with the newcomers in the settlement and your old friend. What has happened?"

Eivor sighed and avoided eye contact with her. "I have not been entirely honest with you, Seer. My shame has caused me much pain and I think it has begun to take its toll."

"We all make mistakes, Eivor. What is important is knowing when we made them and doing what we can to make it right."

"I fear there is no way to make amends for what I have done." Her gravelly voice grew quiet as she fought her mind. It was hard to tell someone this, but she had to.

"I see. What is it that has you feeling this way?"

"If this gets out, it will hurt more than just me. Can you promise me that this will not leave these walls?"

"You may speak to me in confidence."

Eivor took a moment to compose herself before speaking. It was not easy, but it had to be done. "I met someone in Ireland. I admired her." Her eyes stayed glued to the ground. Only Valka's calm, caring voice kept her from shutting down as she relived her memories.

"She was someone you admired?" She repeated what she said, questioning if that was what she truly meant.

"In a way. She was driven by her emotions and followed what her heart desired; it almost cost her her life."

"I see, you have suffered much loss. I can understand how this could be upsetting." She sat herself across from Eivor, who fidgeted with her hands.

"This is a different loss, one of passion that was not ready for death."

"She was a lover?" she was starting to understand Eivor's conundrum.

"Yes." Eivor could not bring herself to look at the Seer.

"And Randvi?"

"She does not know. I cannot bring myself to ruin all I have left over something that was so fleeting."

"Is the guilt what bothers you?"

Eivor's mind screamed at her to lie, but she needed to let it out. Her mind could not take much more. "I do feel guilt for what I have done to Randvi. While in Ireland, I did not give her a second thought, but it is not why I feel this way." It felt as though a brick had replaced her heart as she confessed. "I have not been able to rip her from my mind. I hear her songs, I feel her touch; I am going insane and I cannot stop it. I have never felt more helpless."

"I understand why this is upsetting for you. This is not an easy place to be."

"I chased her voice through the woods last night. It sounded as though I was close enough to touch her."

"Your mind is working through many things. Would a visit to Ireland quell any remaining feelings?"

Eivor shook her head. "No, she is gone. I let her walk away after she sacrificed a part of herself to save the people of Ireland. I could not ask her to stay when she had lost so much." Eivor remembered how helpless she felt as her lover begged her to take her life, how she had hoped the solution provided would save her and keep her around longer. "All I have left of her is a note and a song she wrote of our battle. I had wished to bring her back with me to Ravensthorpe, to save her from a fate that will surely get her killed."

"It sounds as though you suffered more than just a bout of passion, Eivor. You have lost someone you love, who you had started to plan a life with. Even if she did not know how you felt, you still are suffering the loss of a strong bond."

"I did not think there was enough time to develop such feelings."

"Your heart hurts when you think of her, does it not? It calls out for her. Your mind is telling you she is near when she is nowhere in sight. There is no time limit for such a bond to form."

"The way I feel when thinking of Ciara and when I think of Randvi are very different. I do not think it is love."

"Love can take on many forms. You and Randvi share a bond, but, if I may be as forward to say, it is not as strong."

"Are you saying I should not be with Randvi?" Her brow furrowed as her eyes finally gained the confidence to leave the wooden boards.

"I am saying that your heart is reaching out for something it does not have. It is up to you to decide if it is something you truly desire and, if so, what lengths you are willing to go to find it."

Eivor soaked in her words and nodded in acceptance. "I think I understand now."

"It may take your heart some time to heal. When the heart is damaged, the mind can do many things that we do not understand. The commotion of a busy day can wear down the mind and allow for us to experience things that are not there." She got up and dug through her drawers until she came across a bag of herbs. "Make this tea at night. It will help you relax."

"Thank you, Seer."

"My pleasure, Eivor."