Disclaimer: I own no parodies of 'The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' theme.

The Land of Pharaohs . . .and Man Eating Crocodiles

The entire trip was anything but a day of exciting camping at a state park or trekking a forest since Altaїr absolutely refused to make any detours that would allow Vivian any scenic overviews. He'd declared it quite bluntly on the first day when she wanted to soak her feet in a gentle river where cows drank just to bask in what 12th century life was like for everyday people (present company excluded). She'd wanted to see the grazing cows of caramel brown and black onyx march with their owners and had asked him with the kindest believable voice, her heart soaring with hope when his lips gave the tiniest uplift of a smile but the assassin merely crushed her hopes with, "Since it means so much to you. . .no. And don't you dare ask about anything else or I'll blindfold you."

Obviously, she asked him for nothing after that and stuck to Malik like glue since he didn't hesitate to help her with his calm manner of speaking. She didn't understand the assassin's cold personality, he'd been the one who offered her refuge in his group rather than have her exploring Masyaf alone! She wasn't a Templar and she'd yet to show him otherwise since most of the time, she used a stick for protection (which was not the most reliable against stray animals) and pocket sand to blind bothersome individuals that ventured too close.

So far, day one had brought her a crap load of sun and Altaїr found it hilarious as he watched her try to find a shady spot in an open desert land with absolutely no tree coverage. The second day had her groaning in pain from the long horse ride numbing her backside and trying to hide the pink cheeks the sun had painted on her face from overexposure. The third day brought on the painful sunburns as she woke to greet the sun with a face full of red blotchy skin and inwardly cried at the lack of sun block and future appearance of sun spots. By the afternoon, she was hiding in her robes like a frightened bat to avoid sun exposure as they crossed Syria's border to head into the land of Israel. She didn't blame children for pointing at her tomato colored face but when men began to comment, Malik and Altaїr had to hold her back from causing an incident with her handy pocket sand.

By the fourth day, Altaїr himself was wincing when her skin began peeling off in similarity to the delicate layers of an onion and finally relented to giving her a few hours of shade during their stops. . .but made up his lapse in cruelty by nagging that she was delaying their trip. The fifth day was worse than the fourth as the assassins watched in mortification as her dead skin fell off like a snake's during shedding season and almost gagged when they saw a few flakes fall into her hen soup during lunch. They were kind enough to lead her astray when she asked what was wrong and left her blissfully unaware to what she was truly eating; ignorance was bliss, right? Day six brought relief to Vivian as they stopped to eat breakfast at a small home establishment and her yogurt meal served as a moisturizing mask for her parched skin, leading Malik to inform people that there was nothing wrong with her as she plastered it on and it was a beauty trick she'd picked up in a foreign land (in which Vivian had cheerfully added in, 'the Indo-Iranians'). Day seven unleashed a maelstrom when her stomach couldn't handle the sudden changes to the outside environment and she would've traded her right hand for a bottle of pepto bismol. Vivian was certain she had set a historic record for being the first with violent diarrhea as she used every outhouse during their stops; of course, she didn't tell the men that for risk of mortification.

Altaїr's patience was tested greatly throughout the entire trip from her allergic sneezes to dirt, her refusal to eat a crow, her pickiness over drinking water from pools, and the straw that broke the camel's back came when she accidentally fell into his hammock during the middle of the night- completely caving in the tent on top of him and almost causing suffocation! Of course, the damnable woman was able to sleep comfortably in hers after he finished yelling at her (his patience was not completely diplomatic in her company) while he had to share Malik's tent and bear his random stretching throughout the night. Vivian could've written steamy fan fiction about the two from thoughts alone of what went on in there but she wouldn't do that to sweet Malik. Altaїr, definitely, but not her gentle friend. By the time they crossed into the Gaza strip, he was tired, cranky, and sporting a beard despite he'd shaved everything but his chin that very morning.

Thankfully, the Assassin's Order had a bureau near the entry point into Egypt and Altaїr had used his new rank of Grandmaster to gain lodgings in separate rooms for at least two nights to relax from the journey. Of course, the climb onto a rooftop was practically impossible for Vivian since she lacked Spiderman qualities and she'd almost fainted from humiliation when Malik pointed out there was a wooden ladder hidden nearby for use whenever an assassin was injured and couldn't make the climb. This brought the first laugh from Altaїr's lips as he'd watched her stop scratching at the wall with her fingernails and scamper off to find it with her head hung down.

Vivian had been nothing short of a curious cat around the village and just as the saying went about said cat, she'd almost fallen into a newly dug well as she explored the land but Malik managed to save her in time. With Malik's loss of an arm, his stability on maintaining balance needed work as he interacted in public settings where danger constantly loomed and it fell on Altaїr's shoulders to come to both of their rescues. Needless to say, he kept Vivian with a rope wrapped around her waist to make sure she didn't do anything stupid under his watch since she tended to be quite the chatty woman and could accidentally slip out something she wasn't supposed to. It was humiliating to be led around like a dog on a leash and she'd stolen one of his hidden knives while he napped inside the bureau but when she attempted to escape, she'd been pinned against the adjacent wall within seconds by another blade that he'd thrown into her skirt as he smirked superiorly. Their short stop allowed him to learn recent information about Templar activity in the land of the old pharaohs and gained an advantage at knowing a regiment was established near their target area and moving closer to the city of Cairo.

They had left their faithful steeds with the Gaza liaison since their journey into new lands could prove perilous for the animals and all three had grown fond of their horses so they wouldn't risk any danger to them. The two stallions and Shadowfax would be returned to Masyaf during a trade caravan between the Order branches while the three companions would travel on foot until reaching the nearest Egyptian village to find an inn since Order bureaus were nonexistent in the new land. This was a problem that Altaїr aimed to remedy with his new role to keep the world secure against the Templar threat and spreading sects throughout different lands would ensure security and increase their ranks to carry out successful assassinations.

However, as their adventure continued onwards, they found themselves trekking through rocky and desert terrain that bothered their raw blisters and dry eyes as they sought for a sign of the Nile River to guide them south. The arid desert land had to eventually fade into the rich riverbanks littered with the dark deposits of fertile soil that aided Egyptian agriculture in this era but until then, the trio would march on. The early morning proved to be adequate with its cloud cover of puffy cotton clouds and a light breeze that brought brief relief to their hot skin as they traveled and the two men spoke amongst themselves while Vivian occupied herself by replaying TV shows in her mind. With nothing but the wind whispering in her ear and cooling her warm scalp, she decided to entertain herself with her own creativity and Altaїr's brown eyes widened into horror when her off-key voice began,

"Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute so sit down, Malik
And I'll tell you how I became the Lost Girl In the Crusades

In West America, born and raised
In the library is where I spent most of my days
Reading history that was worthwhile
Or playing some PS3 games from a pile
When an Assassin cutout who was up to no good
Starting making trouble and bonked me on the head

I got in one unfair fight and the gaming gods got scared
So they said, "You're moving in with
Altaїr and the Brotherhood in 1190 AD."
I wound up in Syria and things were less clear
Like I could be called 'infidel' for simply talking here
If anything, I could say that this place is scary
But I thought 'nah, forget it, let's go do something legendary!'

I found Altaїr about seven or eight
and I yelled, 'You're imaginary!'
Fell into a building and was smacked into reality
to where I now ride a horse in the Crusades."

She broke into a peppy hum of 'nah-nah-nah' while both men stared with bewilderment to the strangest of rhyming songs that flowed from her mouth. It's not that they were breathtaking in lyrical talent or voice- far from it- it was the fact that she seemed to create them out of thin air with a peculiar but catchy tune. . .which of course, irked the master assassin. He'd brought her along for the knowledge she claimed to have about his world and to keep her from becoming lost but he did not assign her the role of a singing bard. His brow furrowed as sweat clung to his eyebrows from the heat gathering under his white hood and he barked acidly in her direction, "Would you stop singing about everything we do?"

"You didn't complain when I sang about you cleaning your socks!" she shot back matter-of-factly to a tune she'd done the previous afternoon at a small river where they had washed their clothing in seclusion. Malik and Vivian had no trouble cleaning their clothes- mostly because they rarely wore white in public- but Altaїr had been a whole different matter with his color matching clothes. With the nonexistence of bleach, Vivian was at a loss as to how the man kept his clothes a pristine white (seriously, didn't blood splatter cling to clothes?) and had actually watched him through the process to see how many washes it actually took since washboards were also absent before the 1800s. As a peace offering, she had sewn him a pair of white cotton socks (it took her many days to find cheap cotton fabric as they traveled but her bartering skills were improving with Malik's help) so the obsolete version of his linen/leather contraption wouldn't blister his feet. She'd never forget the boggled look on his face when he believed they were fabric containers for their dried meat and proceeded to stop him from ruining the pair as she explained the purpose. The downside had been getting the cloth to retain its pristine white color since the man was rather obstinate about keeping everything to his expectations. To Vivian, it screamed the beginnings of obsession compulsive disorder or anal retentiveness.

Either way, the two had been forced to wait as he scrubbed the cotton socks on a rock slab as he lathered them while scrubbing them with a wooden brush made of rough bristles. It had reminded Vivian of the ancestor of Cinderella's floor scrub brush as she watched his face wrinkle with concentration as he used the strength in his toned arms to clean the hell out of it. As a woman who did her own laundry back home, it was a very good turn on to see a man so determined to clean a stubborn stain and watching him rock back-and-forth didn't help either. Malik had decided to count the clouds passing by overhead as he was given a moment of peace from the chaotic life in the Order while Vivian decided to chew on a blade of grass as she relaxed on the ground with the carefree smile of Huckleberry Finn except in her case, that title went to Altaїr. Really, the man had quite a mouth on him on one occasion when Vivian took hay to make the inside of her clothes warm between layers during the cold desert nights- which meant less toilet paper when a certain someone had needed to dart off into the woods to take care of business.

"That was different- it was about socks, not you!" he snarled curtly since the song had been rather catchy as he washed bothersome stains (oh, how he hated them) and being guests at the bureau put a damper on his diplomatic persona because blowing up on her would have gossip spreading on trading routes faster than fire on oil. He had allowed her to indulge then as his demeanor as a leader slipped and in hindsight, his focus should've been on both his washing and shutting her up.

She raised her chin defiantly as her posture straightened in confrontation mode and Malik knew the peace from sunrise would no longer continue as she stated airily, "All right then, socks it shall be!"

"This is the way we wash our socks,
Rub-a-dub-dub, rub-a-dub-dub;
See them getting clean and white,
Rub-a-dub-dub, rub-a-dub-dub
This is the way- ow!"

The last screechy note signaled the end of her tune as Altaїr used the hilt of one of his throwing knives on the back of her head to knock her unconscious in one calculated blow. Vivian's body slumped to the ground like a sack of potatoes a second later and the assassin nodded to himself with satisfaction to his actions, uncaring to the prone form laying by his feet. Malik, however, stared at the unconscious woman with pity in his eyes since singing was the only crime done and he glanced at his friend to state dryly, "This is the fifth time you've done that. Eventually, you may end up damaging her skull."

"I don't think there's much of a brain in there and I used the hilt" Altaїr dismissed nonchalantly as he pocketed the knife in a leather bag tied to his waist and patted it with a small smirk to his weapon's good job performance. He shot Malik a devil may care grin as he regretted nothing of what he'd just done and pointed out smugly, "Trust me, if I wanted to do worse, the blade would've broken inside her skull the second I stabbed it in there."

The dai could only shake his head in disbelief to his words as Altaїr grabbed the woman by the waist to fling her over one shoulder without trouble. After the last four times he'd done this, he'd mastered how to shift her weight onto one shoulder alone and with her shorter stature and weight, it was pretty easy for him to carry her on their journey. She was basically another piece of luggage to him since she no longer tried to take a bite out of his back as she had during their first meeting and part of him had a nagging suspicion that she allowed him to continue walking when she woke up by feigning unconsciousness. Malik watched the woman's head dangle over his friend's back as her black hair contrasted brightly against his friend's white robes and he sighed with a flat voice, "Well, at least you behaved yourself back there. There were moments when I believed we would reenact the events at Masyaf."

"My new status requires refined patience and insight to diplomacy but rest assured that nobody will mar my honor, especially her" Altaїr stated simply because wherever he traveled now, he carried the Assassin's Order on his shoulders as leader and represented them in every aspect. His path had not been easy as it was carved in blood and there were times in the dead of night where he almost yearned that everything that occurred since Solomon's Temple never happened but his eyes had been forcefully opened. He handed Vivian's pack to his partner in crime since time was precious when it came to finding the Nile to begin the crossing and a small smirk touched his lips as he told his companion, "Have confidence, Malik."

He laughed to the playful tone in his friend's voice and sarcastically stated with a wagging index finger, "I think that is the perfect ingredient to someone's undoing when it has abounded to the right amount."

The old Altaїr would've scoffed to such a claim with cynicism as he'd believed his viewpoint was best but the recent obstacles had brought new wisdom to the man and he nodded quietly with agreement, "So do I, brother."

The trio eventually found the Nile river, it was hard not to see it with its grand size obscuring the horizon as the riverbank across was barely visible, and they began to work on buying a canoe to cross it from the cheapest salesman they could find. They hoped to eat a quick snack to keep their stomachs light and buy food to cook on the other side of the river since the crossing would be time and energy consuming for them. Vivian had warned the men to be careful in their spending because as the saying went 'you get what you pay for' but Altaїr sent her away to restock their water supply from the vendors while threatening her not to make a scene with her quirky dramatics.

As always, the words fell deaf on her ears and Vivian returned to the bargaining men with a lot more weight than they'd last seen her with. She was no actress but when she'd stuffed a ball full of clothes under her robes and used her leather belt to hold it up in the perfect 'pregnant woman ready to burst' look, both men and the trader stared at the woman who had one hand on her back and the other on her fake belly to emphasize her motherly look.

"Greetings, my dear husband and I need to cross the Nile by tonight" Vivian began cheerfully as she wedged herself between the two assassins, whom were still in shock to her disguise with matching agape mouths. Lying didn't make her feel good but to survive an adventure, it meant a little lying would get you far. She had no survival skills to add into the large pile of what the men already held, except for her knowledge, but since she'd been crafting small little lies since her arrival. . .why not develop them further to help her companions?

The small store that bordered the riverbank brought much needed cool air to her dampened sweaty hair and she tried to ignore the buzzing insects that wanted a taste of it. Like all the stores in this era, cured wood decorated the place and a roof had been added on top to add shade for both the owner and clients as a fishing net hung over the entrance to symbolize it as a store for fishing wares. Patting her belly, she placed a charming smile on her sun parched face and requested sweetly, "We traveled to visit my sister in Damietta but it seems our stay was longer than expected and I need to reach home soon before our little one breaks into the world. Now, I'm sure a man as reputable as yourself wouldn't say no to an expectant mother and with your prices being affordable than most traders we've talked to so far, I know we can find a good canoe to finish our trip."

Altaїr had to admit she was pretty convincing as she stood there with an honest smile despite the sweat trickling down her brow. He was almost tempted to let her barter the entire way with her disguise but she was still learning about his world.

A little bat of her lashes took the trader from the cheapest (and poorly made) canoe that laid propped up against a wooden bench to an adequate one located in the center of its wooden companions. A pregnant woman couldn't be refused so callously and she knew using herself as bait would warrant a deal they both needed sealed today for profit's sake, which brought her triumph when the man in green robes declared pleasantly, "Why, of course! If I'd known precious cargo would be onboard, I wouldn't have argued with your husband on the price."

The man wagged a finger at Malik, who stiffened immediately at being pinpointed as her significant other, and Vivian choked back a laugh as her friend placed a fake smile full of friendliness on his olive toned face. The stocky trader smiled that trademark smile she'd come to interpret as 'good for you' as it transcended through time for all men and he playfully chided with humor, "You are one lucky man."

Vivian added a delightful giggle to play the 'coy housewife of the 12th century' role to the max of her abilities but Altaїr butted in to poke her lies in with an invisible flaming hot branding rod. His white robes fluttered in the gentle breeze from the river behind them as he stepped in between the happy couple linking arms and demanded with a sardonic tone, "Why do you automatically assume it's him?"

"The man is dressed in humble clothing and is quite amicable, a stark comparison to one who matches a monk rather than the traveling carpet seller he claims to be" the trader remarked sarcastically to the lie Altaїr had used to keep himself hidden. Vivian knew the assassin had to keep himself covert whenever she played the game by using his 'magic hand touch' skill as she liked to call it (mostly because it gave her sister a bad case of the giggles) to part crowds or having him scaling rooftops like Spiderman but really, the man was absolutely terrible at lying in real life. Vivian could only blame it on his direct persona since assassins were meant to be obscured by the shadows but they were in lands that would contain less architecture for him to climb and knew she'd have to teach him more believable job descriptions. His last job had been a water collector and she'd almost slapped her cheek in dismay because his clean white clothes had depicted anything but that.

Vivian patted the bristling assassin's back as she laughed heartily to wipe away what he'd said from the conversation, "Oh, is that what he said? My brother makes up the worst lies to gain attention," with a hushed whisper, she leaned forward to tell the man secretly, "Between you and me, the women of our village prefer a truthful monk rather than a cranky one who spins wild tales but what can I say? He's all I have left after our parents perished in a fire at our corn farm right before harvest season."

"Oh, you poor woman" the man sympathized with a ruminating 'tsk' on his lips while Altaїr rolled his eyes underneath his hood to being minimized in his role as leader.

My poor stomach, he thought sarcastically to her fake woes in life as the diplomatic part of him objected that she was getting the job done for them while his pride kept jabbing his mind to take control out of her hands. Ultimately, logic won over since they needed to get their journey underway and if Vivian could do the job without a problem, he would entrust it to her.

She nodded quietly to the kind sentiments, grabbing Malik by the forearm to push him forward with a bright smile plastered on her face, "Go on, dear, buy the boat so we can go home."

Malik listened to her silent order and followed the chatty man, which allowed Vivian to lean closer to Altaїr to add in her next set of orders with a soft whisper, "Make sure he doesn't try to push extra items except for the boat and paddles. Let Malik chat him up but if he tries to sell you a better item that's costlier, insult the canoe until it's near our original price range. You're the deadly viper in our gang of tame water snakes so I trust you won't let me down?"

A smirk touched his lips, emphasizing the scar on the right side and he stated calmly with subdued amusement hidden in his voice, "Vivian, I was bred for this kind of thing."

And buy the canoe, they did. . .at full price when Altaїr managed to get himself snagged in a fishing net hanging over the store's ceiling and had fallen into the showcase table displaying fishing rods for purchase. The ensuing argument about it being a safety hazard to prospective clients had embarrassed Vivian more than the reason as to how she landed in the strange dimension. Needless to say, they grabbed their purchase with hasty hands as they restrained Altaїr from uttering more complaints and left the place with the lightning speed of Roadrunner.

The trio began to cross the Nile before the sun was highest in the sky (noon for those had the luxury of a watch unlike poor Vivian) as the three alternated between paddling as a pair but both Malik and Vivian noticed just how fast Altaїr was moving the paddles to get them to shore. Nobody dared to make a joke about his true swimming skills after the murderous glare he gave them when he'd left the store with brown splinters all over his white robes. They didn't want him to tire out his muscles halfway through the trip since it would be many hours but both were hesitant to speak up about his hurry as they watched the paddles loudly splash out of the water and barely caught a steady glimpse before they went back in again under the blue water.

The river had been calm throughout their passage as they entered it during the off-peak season since they were rather close to the end of the Nile as the delta emptied into the Mediterranean and Altaїr informed them he'd picked this precise time of the year to leave in order to avoid drowning. They needed to travel south on the following day to the city of Cairo so they could gather information to see what would await them in Giza where the Piece of Eden had shown brightly in the Apple's map. Altaїr had privately told Vivian that their trip would take approximately two years, at the least (with partial sea travel), and she'd gasped at how long trips were during this time and why nobody did this during her time with the modern convenience of airfare. She'd spoken to him about his thoughts on expanding the Order by creating discreet guilds around the Old World rather than being cooped up in Masyaf and he'd been surprised to her agreement since being one huge target sign that read 'we're here, come get us' would blow them all out of the cliff the castle was built on.

With nobody from the Assassin's Order nearby, they were alone when they entered Egypt and had nobody to rely on but themselves which dampened her nerves because a) she was new in this place, b) there were templars roaming about, c) there were bandits on trade routes to rob wayward civilians, and d) wild animals could jump out at you while you slept; not a very safe environment for poor Vivian, who only carried a stick and sand for protection. She only had Altaїr's word to go on for her safety but would she find the answers she needed during that time? Or would she have to return to Masyaf to live the life of. . .she didn't even have an idea for it.

Being relatively close to the ocean, Vivian had no issues with water travel but remained on guard since Nile crocodiles and aggressive hippos could be lurking underneath and ready to topple them. Since it wasn't her turn to paddle, she kept a wary eye on the water as she played the role of a lifeguard for her companions. Hmm, she had more roles in this life than her real one already. As they reached the last miles of the river, their oldest companion began to groan softly from where he rowed and tried to hide his discomfort by coughing loudly but the other two caught it. Malik stared at him from the back of the canoe as he was the second man paddling (he still had one arm, damn it, and he would use it to the limit) and spoke up with concern as he tried to catch a glimpse of Altaїr's face, "Are you all right?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" the assassin replied gruffly but it a complete lie as nausea struck his entire body like the rolling waves of water underneath them and tried to imagine something else. Closing his eyes to hide the image plaguing his mind, he increased the rowing speed as he hoped to hit land soon before he vomited all the water he'd drank before the trip. The sun decided to be unrelenting this day with its scorching humidity, much to his aggravation, and he grit his teeth tightly to make sure nothing tried to claw its way up his throat.

"Well, you're groaning" Vivian pointed out with her own worry since hospitals were lacking in case it was something serious and he was trying to hide it by calling attention away from it. She wouldn't put it past him due to his reclusive nature or the 'lone wolf' persona as she more commonly called it.

"And swaying," Malik added in helpfully to jab the man since his friend was never one to admit an illness. The man was a stubborn mule ever since adolescence; he remembered a specific day when Altaїr had partaken in archery despite having a high fever and had to be led back to his sleeping quarters when he fell unconscious in the middle of his archer's stance just because he refused to quit.

"I'm perfectly- no, I'm not!" Altaїr tried to dissuade but when he turned to glare at them, the movement slammed his head full of sickening dizziness and his stomach rolled over from the awful sensation. Vivian knew it was sea sickness the second his hands flew up to cover his mouth. Dropping the wooden paddles into the boat, Altaїr proceeded to hurl over the right side of the canoe to empty his stomach and onto the clean water of the river. It wasn't a pretty sight in the slightest as the vomit trailed down towards Vivian and Malik over the water as if it were trying to present itself to them.

The other two stared in dismay to the scene that had just unfolded since Vivian would've never thought a man like him could be brought down by a little thing like sea sickness. In the game, he was nothing short but invincible with his high flying techniques, stamina, flexibility, strength, and not to mention, weapon handling. Then, again, maybe there was a reason he avoided water as if it were the black plague and it reinforced the concept that he was a real person just as she was. Malik, however, won the gold for the day's priceless quote when he sighed pitifully, "Those poor fish."

"Poor fish? Poor me!" Altaїr snapped sourly to being cast aside as he wiped his mouth clean with the back of his hand and coughed to make sure his throat was clear of any leftover liquid. He abhorred sea travel with a passion and always avoided it due to the horrible feeling it induced within him whenever he was on a boat for longer than ten minutes (he would learn the name of the culprit later on when Vivian explained what caused it). A gentle hand touched his shoulder and he was ready to unleash a barrage of defensive comments about his moment of weakness and their dismissive nature to his health when a spicy item touched his dry lips. His furious brown eyes met the green shade of Vivian's orbs and she didn't blink away from the man's intense glare as it bore down on her like an injured bear nursing its wounds.

"Ginger calms the stomach during sea travel" Vivian explained soothingly with a small smile and pressed the slice of ginger root she held between her fingers against his tight lips. From his side at the back of the canoe, Malik couldn't help but mentally laugh at the scene that reminded him of a mother feeding a fussy infant. Altaїr's eyes narrowed suspiciously since a little root like that could be poisonous but closer inspection told him that it was indeed the herb she claimed it to be. Vivian nudged it against his mouth again with a gentle poke and carefully added in to make sure he wasn't caught unaware, "It won't be tasty but it will help the feeling go away."

He was out of options in the river deathtrap and decided to trust the woman this time, parting his lips to accept the remedy as he used his tongue to draw in the root. Vivian smiled faintly that he'd accepted it rather than rejected her help but a second later, he wanted to spit it out. The taste overwhelmed his sense of nausea and his face wrinkled to the awful taste his taste buds were suffering under as Vivian tried to hide a laugh behind her hand, giving him a hearty pat on the back in sympathy. Malik muffled his own with a snort since they didn't want to enrage Altaїr further and suggested, "Vivian can take over while you lie down and rest. We'll tell you when we're there."

"I can handle a simple job like rowing-" he argued defiantly since he wasn't about to be seen as weak by those he was meant to lead. His fists clenched at the thought since their respect and lives depended upon his strength and if he was felled by a simple body of water, then what kind of leader was he?

"Altaїr, you don't have to be the hero all the time" Vivian stated sincerely as she grabbed the paddles away from his reach and took his position as the lead. The older man stared at her quizzically for the words and despite this era of the world saw him as a deadly assassin and the Order's leader while the rest of her realm worshipped him as the white death in the sky, she saw him as a regular human being that was prone to weaknesses. Pointing her chin in Malik's direction as she began to row, she stated wittily with a grin, "That's why we're here, to lend a helping hand and allow you to take the glory for us. Besides, unlike Malik, I'mnot under your jurisdiction so I can step in when you're way in over your head so relax."

Malik watched the two closely as his friend slumped against the side of the canoe in defeat and hoped this was the breakthrough to get the two on amicable terms. It was best it happened now than see and hear them argue throughout the entire journey because then, he might have to join a trade caravan and walk back to Masyaf to find glorious peace. He leaned forward expectantly as Altaїr glanced at the woman with his piercing stare and Malik strained his hearing until he heard the sarcastic but nonpoisonous words, "You're not going to sing about this, are you? If so, I will barf and it won'tbe in the river."

So much for a truce.

By the time they reached shore, Altaїr was half asleep as he laid down on the uncomfortable firm floorboards of the canoe on his back while Vivian's arms were on fire and sorely aching as her first time canoeing was anything but joyful. She vowed herself to condition her body as she traveled because stamina would be very important for survival in the Crusade era and threw the whole rule about calorie counting out the window because there was no resting her body until nighttime. The view of the muddy shoreline as gnarled twigs poked up from between the dirt was a welcome sight for all of them as it signaled arrival and Malik sighed toward the blue sky with relief, "We're here."

Sturdy land, I could kiss you. . .but I won't, Altaїr thought gratefully as the slippery mud flooded him with much needed relief and sat up slowly to reacquaint himself with gravity. Inhaling deeply to take away the sense of nausea, the smell of fresh water and wet dirt that were usually found on a stray dog brought him tranquility as the journey completed for the day. Tomorrow would bring another river trip but he'd prepare for it. . .by stealing Vivian's ginger roots.

"I'll get out first to pull the boat in and you guys can follow" Vivian stated helpfully to be proactive as a companion and Altaїr frowned since he was the one giving orders (on land) but she placed a booted foot onto the bow of the canoe before he could correct her. Pushing her weight onto that right foot, she jumped off the boat with a strong kick and was proud of herself for not plummeting like a rock in water within one foot of her jump. Her pride soon turned to disappointment as she saw that she'd over calculated and cried out in midair when she realized she wasn't going to be hitting the water as a safety net. Instead, a gleeful smirk spread over Altaїr's lips when he heard the wet plop of mud striking flesh and he leaned over the side with a mischievous glint in his eyes to see Vivian covered in the riverbank's mud.

"Ack! Gross!"

She wiped the mud smeared all over her face while trying not to think what had trampled over it or what was in it as she heard the quietest sniggers from their Grandmaster companion. She shook her arms and legs to get rid of excess mud but knew she needed a really good bath to be truly clean and would have to bathe in the river eventually since she was covered head to toe in the gunk. Well, who else could say they took a nude swim in the Nile back home? Knowing her current problem couldn't be helped further, she moved towards the canoe to pull its weight onto the shore until it was firmly locked in the mud without budging. If they lost this boat, they were screwed for life since money and trading materials were scarce. Malik grabbed their travel packs in his hand and held them out for her to grab as she placed each on a dry patch of dirt since their clothes washing had been done a day prior. Holding out her hand, she motioned for him to take it and she helped him out the boat with little trouble as his honed flexibility helped his balance. Malik winced as his brown leather boots sunk into the wet fresh mud as it rose to his ankles and began the trek uphill to find decent campground.

Looking into the boat, she wiggled her fingers humorously to help the queasy assassin onto his feet but he stood up on shaky legs (which he tried to valiantly hide from her gaze) and stated sharply to protect his last shreds of pride, "I don't need help from a woman."

The sexist remark was one thing but after lending aid selflessly and having it chucked back at her face like a dirty rag, she was reaching the end of her rope and grit her teeth tightly to the point that her molars hurt. When was the jerk ever going to give her an olive branch of peace? Taking a page from Ezio's notebook of classic revenge, she narrowed her green eyes for comeuppance that had been denied since leaving Masyaf.

Vivian grabbed hold of the canoe on both sides at the bow and used all of her strength to tip it over, managing to crumble the assassin's weak stability and Altaїr's legs gave out from underneath him as he fell out of the boat. The splash in the water was pleasure to her muddy ears as she watched him flail his limbs in perfect imitation to his digital double in the game but this time, he resurfaced as he spit out water to unleash a yell laced with fury, "Who the hell do you think you are, you harpy? I ought to- ow!"

She watched in amusement as he ran out of the water at top speed, his right hand reaching back to pull at the perpetrator and she burst into laughter when she saw what it was: a water snake. Altaїr was extremely lucky it wasn't a poisonous snake but he'd rather do without this one as well. The slithery greenish-brown reptile had decided to bite him right on his buttocks, the right one in particular, and she watched him rip it off and fling it back into the water with an angry growl. Frankly, she was surprised his teeth didn't transform into fangs and pitied the poor reptile that had merely defended himself against Altaїr's invading butt.

"Let's set up camp, shall we?" Malik spoke up calmly with a higher pitch in voice to settle the escalating tension as he lugged their items to a dry portion north of the shore. The other two followed quietly and helped their friend with their packs since their long trip called for a decent amount of belongings. Vivian mentally cursed Ubisoft for never showing Altaїr carrying his travel pack whenever he went horse riding to Damascus, Jerusalem, or Acre because her respect would've soared while her enthusiasm would've dropped at seeing what she had to bring with her. She also blamed Bioware's Dragon Age and Bestheda's Fallout for securing that lie in the RPG realm.

After setting up camp in the similar fashion for more than a week, the trio had perfected any mistakes and kept besting their time at each new site. Altaїr took care of setting up the tents while Malik and Vivian were in charge of a cozy fire and cooking. If they were in modern times, Vivian could've popped in BTO's song 'Taking Care of Business' in her mp3 player and they could've danced away the remainder of the time left over since they brought their A game to the campsite.

By the time they did finish, the sun was beginning to set over the blue-orange horizon as Vivian finished cutting fresh vegetables she'd bought on route to the river. Never in her life did she think she'd be seeing the sun set over the Egyptian river as its calm waters brought tranquility to the end of their day and assured them they were on the right path to their location. If she ever returned home, she would send a query to Ubisoft about having this in their next game in case they explored the Altaїr storyline again. However, she doubted it since the masses seemed more akin to Ezio, the handsome stallion of a man, rather than Altaїr, the broody man with discipline.

"I have a question" Vivian spoke up curiously as she stirred handmade chicken soup broth in a brown copper pot over their makeshift fire.

"This should be good" Altaїr mumbled dryly as he opened a loaf of bread from its paper packaging to accompany their stew and received the remnants of a carrot to his face. He would've threatened her with his hidden blade but her expression was serious so he let it slide for now since she didn't show disrespect when he was the same. He didn't like her but that didn't mean he wouldn't show respect since her growing craftiness was beginning to benefit their excursion.

She threw in the cut pieces of vegetables into the pot to let them soften and began, "You expect to travel to many lands on this trip but how will we communicate with others who can't speak our language? Well, your language because I've no idea how I can speak it even now. Arabic will last us until the middle of the African continent since the south is barely entering trade with Bantu tribes and if you want to head elsewhere towards Asia or Europe in the future, you will be lost once you hit China or Italy."

So far, the plan was for her to travel with them until they reached Morocco where she would head to Spain via the Canary Islands since it was the closest of a homeland to her seeing as America wasn't even discovered by the East. Even by Ezio's time, the ships were barely being prepared for the dangerous voyage and she doubted she had more than 60 years in her life left- given that a coyote didn't maul her to death by then. Vivian wasn't certain of her concocted half-ass plan but if she found answers on their travels, she wouldn't execute it. Altaїr, however, wanted to find the pieces of Eden and store them somewhere safe under the Order's watch where no Templar could reach them. She hoped he had a fortified place like Superman's Fortress of Solitude because the Templars wouldn't hesitate to scorch a building to the ground or blow it up to find their target.

Malik decided to answer her query and he explained, "Business and information is done in trading bazaars where people from all lands gather. Sometimes, we can find a trustworthy translator to aid us in a search. Our Order has yet to travel this far but certain skilled assassins always leave notes for our brethren to follow as future reference," his lips thinned into a small frown as he added in, "Unfortunately, we are the first to venture here and will remain so the rest of the way. Also, we will be traveling the path of the Silk Road so it is bound to come in handy for us. My chameleon and information gathering skills will take care of all that while Altaїr will explore from the rooftops and you. . ."

His face creased with embarrassment at not having an answer for her job description and Vivian joked lightly, "I know, try not to get killed or jailed for indecency."

"You will shine with your insight about the Old and New World" he assured her with a friendly smile since their trip over the Nile had gained him new knowledge about the river as she rambled on about what she knew. Altaїr had grumbled 'make her stop' but the dai had kindly listened with intrigue and he stated honestly to keep her spirit lifted, "Besides, you seem to have a knack for lying."

"Do I?" she chuckled nervously since she never expected to be good at it in any way nor that it was a good quality to have. Giving their dinner a stir with a wooden spoon, she tilted her head to the side as she considered that new aspect in her life, "To be honest, I've never lied so much like I have here. I was always cautious because I worried about being discovered and dear me, what would people think of it? But know that I'm in a land where nobody knows me. . .it is quite liberating."

"I think we will all be learning something on this journey, for good or ill" Altaїr stated simply from his spot as he bit into a piece of the sliced bread with a small lift of his brow and they had to reluctantly agree to his solemn comment.

After a decent dinner that filled their empty stomachs, the fire roared brightly against the dark riverbank but Vivian had warned to keep an eye on the reeds and riverbed during watch since crocodiles could wash up to find refuge during the night. She'd taken the first watch as she wanted to savor her first stay in Egypt since the trek across the peninsula had been tiresome, given her foot blisters, and allowed no time for sightseeing. Glittering diamonds filled the dark veil of night as the current of the river flowed steadily towards the south. The chirps of frogs and other wildlife offered her companionship for the three hour watch and she tried to hide her laughter when Malik's moose-like snore struck the quiet atmosphere to tell her he was in deep slumber. As a woman who'd grown up inside a female household under her father's parenting, she found the two men holding uncanny similarities to her family as the distrust over her foreign arrival had faded away.

Malik was helpful and understanding to guiding her new life in similarity to her father but unlike him, the dai didn't treat her like precious glass. She missed her father's protectiveness since being the oldest, she took it upon herself to care over her siblings in a role that should've been her mother's. And her mother. . .Vivian missed her like any child who'd unexpectedly lost a parent, such wounds would never heal and a part of her believed the same for her father since he never remarried. She clashed heavily with Altaїr since he partly reminded her of Natalya with his indomitable attitude and a small smirk formed on her lips at the idea of having her sister in her place; she and Altaїr would have destroyed themselves in seconds. One, because they tended to use physical violence and words to defend themselves and two, well, Natalya was an Ezio lover and nobody could best him in her eyes. Unlike her sister, however, Altaїr accepted none of her aid when she tried to reach out to him.

Maybe I should've ended there, at least an appreciative smack on the butt would've satiated Ezio while Altaїr turns into a man eating tiger just for talking, she thought dryly to the stark differences between both men but what could she do?

And how am I going to get home? I'm learning nothing except for lying, cheating, and. . .well, I haven't stolen yet but with Altaїr, it's inevitable!, she thought frantically to the things she'd done so far since arriving and sighed aloud to what her life had become. AC fans would probably be rejoicing or having multiple heart attacks but danger was a true problem in the 1190s and she had to keep her senses on their toes. I have nothing to start from to get home so unless I'm in a comic like Marvel that lets me time or realm travel, I'm screwed. Not to mention the lack of decent medicine and a shorter lifespan will kill me eventually in this place.

"Oh god, I could end up being a sheep herder for life" she grieved to the limited lives women led in these times (where was Maria when she needed a pep talk on how to kick somebody's ass and break free of gender roles?) and groaned miserably to her fate. Poking the fire with a wooden twig to keep it lit, she mumbled pathetically under her breath, "Damn you, Ubisoft, and your Assassin creations! You could've at least given me Mary Sue powers to become an assassin like in fanfiction. . .although Altaїr would've skewered me on his sword like shishkebab for such heinous manipulation. I'm as useless as Dogmeat in Fallout 3!"

The innocent chirps of frogs brought her back to reality, slumping her tightened shoulders and she grumbled miserably at the dirt, "And now I'm talking to myself. Way to avoid a mental breakdown, Viv."

"When don't you talk to yourself?"

The new voice frightened her and she exclaimed hysterically, "Jumping Ezio on a rooftop, don't spear me!"

Altaїr stared at the alarmed woman with a deadpan stare as she crossed her arms in front of her body as a shield- as if that would help- and he withheld from smacking her arms down to show her obvious weak strength. Instead, he shifted the weight on his feet as he stood upright as the imposing Grandmaster he was, jabbing his index finger at her to scold sharply, "Nobody is killing you."

Her green eyes blinked with surprise that she hadn't been nabbed by strangers in the dead of night and glanced at the master assassin from his booted feet, brown linen sleeping pants that thankfully didn't have weapons attached, half-open white tunic that would've had the inner fan girl in her drooling like Homer Simpson at doughnuts over his exposed bronze chest revealing itself to her, to his sharp face which lacked the daytime hood. The glow of the fire defined his features further from the stubble on his squared jaw, his perfectly chiseled nose that made hers inferior with its rhinoplasty quality, light brown eyes that hardened with the coldness of ice despite the fire's warmth giving the illusion of sweet honey, and short black hair that had been flattened by the constant use of a hood. Her voice struggled on leaving her voice box since one dangerous assassin over bandits wasn't exactly the idea of safety but she managed to squeak, "I thought you were a bandit."

"Bandits are louder in their steps so hopefully, your time among us will allow your hearing to improve" he replied simply with the tip as he sat down in front of the fire without another word, opening his codex book to begin writing since his shift was after hers. The silent night gave him time to meditate on his ponderings and he'd be lying if he said Vivian's insights weren't spot on to what he'd seen in the Apple or guided his recent entries.

"The Egyptians are probably the most exotic of cultures the world has known, their buildings remain a mystery even in my time and no culture has ever created a Book of the Dead as they have" she spoke up quietly as the images of pharaohs, mummies, anthromorphic gods, and oddly enough, kohl eyeliner, danced in her mind. History and archaeology students dreamed of traveling to one of the greatest extinct civilizations of Earth and she counted herself lucky for being in such a place during the Third Crusade occurring to the east. Glancing at her companion, who was hunched over his book as he wrote, she piped up with a hopeful smile, "Can we visit a pyramid-"

"No," was his blunt response as he scribbled into his book with a sharp wooden pencil coated in black soot from the fire (how he missed using ink but it was messy in the outdoors and he needed an efficient alternative). His brow furrowed with concentration while using the decent light of the fire but still felt the need to squint from time to time. There was so much he wanted to write into his Codex but to use the entire book to chronicle his life seemed too little of an amount in pages but Vivian had told him he'd only use one after future assassins discover random pages. Part of him had begun to wonder if he should break his Codex into volumes to include more information but at the same time, the Templar threat would always loom over his shoulder and could use it against the Assassin's Order. There was always a risk with opportunity.

Attis. Dionysus. Horus. Krishna. Mithra. Jesus. Similar stories color their lives. Too similar, I think. Divine birthright. Persecution. Disciples. Miraculous acts. Resurrection...
How is it possible?

Perhaps it isn't... Merely a single story told over the ages? Borrowed then changed to fit the times? Evolving as our tools and language do? Is this tale born of fact or fiction? A bit of both? Could these figures be the same person – their life extended and transformed by a Piece of Eden?

"You know, that's a very good question" Vivian's voice popped up from behind his right shoulder and he shut his book immediately as he snarled in her direction for the intrusion. The fire radiated the fury glowing in his brown eyes for the invasion of privacy, not to mention personal space, while Vivian merely smiled like the Cheshire cat as her own green orbs matched Burton's creation perfectly in hue.

"Have you no sense of privacy? And shouldn't you be asleep?" he hissed dangerously to her carefree smile, especially at that hour, and achieved in wiping it off her face with his harsh words.

Her brow furrowed as she narrowed her eyes since everything he'd written down, she'd already read off the game and the ever handy Assassin's Creed wiki. She pulled away and increased the distance between them as she sat in her spot, crossing her arms to defensively snap back, "You brought me along to help and that's what I'm trying to do, you ass."

"You make me question that decision every day" he sneered under his breath since her bold ways poked at him with sharp imaginary swords since arriving and didn't know how to resolve that problem. Vivian, of course, was oblivious to what the hell was going on with his attitude (or what stick went up the stick already in his butt) and scoffed in his direction, standing up to leave for her tent.

Arrogant idiot, I hope the apple sucks him into an alternate dimension, she thought scathingly to his atrocious attitude. . .but he did have a point on the eavesdropping thing. It's not that she wanted to intrude for mocking purposes, she only went in goodwill, but that didn't give him the reason to build up ammunition and fire it with his mouth before letting the other person talk. Whatever, it's not like he's writing an erotic novel in there!

"Erkjay!" she cursed aloud in pig Latin, knowing he wouldn't understand a single word of it as she disappeared into her tent for much needed sleep.

In the end, Altaїr received his much needed silence to finish writing and the peace surrounding their camp allowed him to relax under the stars (and gain a few mosquito bites). He decided to sleep next to the warm fire since Malik would come out for his shift eventually and with them being far from any village, doubted any human life wandered the area at those hours. Also, the ground was the softest he'd been on since all of his travels and decided to sleep like a newborn baby as he laid down on his stomach with his limbs sprawled all over the place. It wasn't the classic look of a Grandmaster but who was going to see him like this at the Nile?

When Malik did surface from his tent to take up his spot as the last watchman, before the sun began to clear the night sky, he was anything but relaxed to the sight awaiting him. Altaїr was lying down next to another form as he'd managed to roll away from the fire during his sleep and carelessly mumbled under his breath, "No. . . .no, Maria. . .I don't cuddle. . .must leave now. . .finding quickest exit."

Quietly, Malik frantically shook Vivian's tent to wake her up and the tired woman roused from her dreams of gloriously taking down an Archdemon as a Grey Warden in Bioware's RPG game. Uttering a pitiful whine for being robbed of it, she pulled apart her mosquito netting and crawled through the intricate veil to keep the insects out. She pulled apart the cloth of her tent's entrance and poked her head out from between the flaps as a curtain of black hair covered most of her face. Her green eyes widened as she fought down a frightened squeak and immediately leaned down to grab her most important belongings, which were thankfully still wrapped inside her pack. They had to get the hell out of there quickly!

Altaїr came to feel smothered in his sleep (not just from his mumbled dreams) and woke up abruptly because he was certain he wasn't running over rooftops to escape his issues with intimacy. His brown eyes opened to meet the green side of a Nile crocodile as it rested on the bank next to him, the left side of his limbs entangled over Altaїr's clothing as it lay on its fat stomach. Fear rarely struck him, only briefly when Al Mualim betrayed him after trusting the man for more than two decades and the second was that very second as he stared at the dangerous scaly green hide of the apex predator.

"Shi-i-i-i-i-i-i-t!," was the survival instinct screaming through and out of his lungs as he tried to break away but the creature had managed to snag a hand onto his shirt to keep him in place for a few seconds longer. This was all that it needed to react when it felt the man move and animal instinct took over as it defended itself by snapping its jaws toward Altaїr's face but the man managed to dodge out of harm's way by mere inches. Any less would've cost him an ear and part of his skull.

The growling of the beast unnerved him since animals had never been targets and he wasn't entirely sure that killing the animal to save himself was best. He was a killer, yes, but of vile human beings that deserved their just desserts- not animals that were simply defending themselves. He wasn't evil, he was fair. . .nonetheless, it didn't stop him from calling aloud for aid, "Malik! Vivian!"

Of course, as he wrestled with the heavy animal on the riverbank, he caught sight of both individuals leaving the camp in a hasty escape out of his peripheral vision. His eyes widened momentarily to the witnessed sight and Altaїr felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach to the possibility of having to fight the creature on his own.

Did they just leave me?, he thought frantically as he punched the reptile in the vulnerable underside of its neck in the hopes that its dangerous mouth would widen the distance between them.

He was about to curse his team all the way into the Egyptian afterlife for being abandoned at the hands of a crocodile of all creatures but a shout caught the animal's attention as it overlapped Altaїr's grunts. A second later, a broken branch crashed against the top of the animal's head and the reptile lashed out to tear into it with its jaws. Another pair of arms grabbed Altaїr by the shoulders to pull him away from the ferocious creature as Vivian yelled strongly to get him on his feet, "Get up! Kiss your croc girlfriend goodbye, we have to go!"

He didn't need to be told twice and his feet picked up dirt as Vivian helped him stand upright with her own strength, grunting as her muscles screamed for relief but he needed her. She yanked him by the side of his sleeping shirt when the strong tail lashed out at his feet and he dodged immediately out of reflex, bolting from the site with both his companions to leave the Nile crocodile to its wooden catch. Altaїr's heart beat loudly in his chest, despite the constant training and exposure to danger, as he fled the riverbank to a small hill the other two were running towards and hoped the thing wouldn't chase after them to finish what they started. When they were safely perched on top of the bank's incline, Altaїr hunched over to pant lightly as relief flooded him and he admitted breathlessly from the unscheduled stress, "I thought. . .that you left. . ."

"We needed a plan without alerting the animal and making things worse- a branch to the face works wonders" his friend stated with a smug grin to their success since he'd never have believed to take on a crocodile and save his friend. His confidence had indeed waned after losing his arm after the fiasco at Solomon's Temple but it was slowly rebuilding day-by-day as he journeyed with the two. His swordsmanship had been steadily increasing and his constant training alongside Altaїr for the last months nicked any mistakes in his agility and flexibility. He'd never be able to use a crossbow but a sword and dagger worked just as efficiently at killing an enemy. Rolling his shoulders to shake away the adrenaline rush, his lips puckered out in thought before they twisted into a witty smirk and he said casually, "I'm rather proud of myself."

"And although you annoy me like lice on a scalp, I'm not about to leave a man behind" Vivian finished with a haughty smirk that matched Malik's and pulled at a hole in Altaїr's sleeping shirt that the animal managed to rip into. Her tongue clicked in playful disapproval but knew the animal could've ripped him into shreds if given another minute and gently said, "We'll patch that up tomorrow. For now, let's find a new place to sleep."

He followed behind them with tired feet as he wiped away dirt from his back, sighing mentally for having to sleep in dirty clothes for whatever hours he had left before morning arrived. Regardless, he didn't hesitate to gratefully admit to both of them, "Thank you for helping me."

Malik simply nodded since brothers in arms wouldn't abandon each other during danger while Vivian merely grinned brightly, causing Altaїr to automatically frown to what he knew was either a sarcastic comment or a song about nothing. Despite it was the middle of the night and lethargy should've bitten her by now, she took the lead to find their new camping spot with a giddy step in her walk and declared zestfully, "We're explorers now and adventures are always legend- wait for it. . .," spreading her arms wide, she grinned, "dary!"

Altaїr managed a weak smile in his sleep deprived state and held no irritancy in his voice as he muttered flatly, "You're crazy, Vivian."

"So I've been told" she agreed humorously with a quick nod and the three companions treaded on to find a new campground that wasn't alluring to crocodiles.

A/N: A long chapter that I hope is worth the time that elapsed from the last one as we start the journey down Egypt which will trail all around the continent until they hit the Canary Islands. I'm sure Altaїr will either be driven insane by then or join Vivian's catchy tunes despite her voice will lure a wolf to howl along with her. The next chapter takes them to Cairo and Giza as they head to look for the piece of Eden, the trio has another river adventure, Vivian sings about gypsies to Templars, and Altaїr gets into a tangle with another Nile river inhabitant.

Thanks for the story alerts and for the last chapter reviews, my dear readers, I truly appreciate it!

Flyingcrispi: Thanks for thinking it's brilliant, I try my best!

Shinigami-Of-Love: Thanks for loving it.

IpiRayan: At this point, Vivian wishes she would've fallen into Ezio's bathtub rather than Altaїr's life. The team will hit Cairo and Giza before heading south to the present country of Uganda.

TheAnonReviewer: I'm glad you like it. Altaїr's nerves are just grinded easily by Vivian but two years of travel can change a person for good or worse.

Sort of proud: With Vivian loving the gaming world, she'll be bound to reference a lot of stuff to it. We already saw a bunch of games in this one along with Marvel comic books. Plus, Bioware does have that Order of Templars in Dragon Age.

Em: Malik's pretty mellow with a dash of sarcasm as he follows Altaїr while the latter needs a bit of tweaking in the anger department since he has to behave like a leader now (and we know Vivian will poke him with a toothpick to rile him).

NaruVamp: I hope the crocodile scene was great for you, I found it hilarious that he thought the others abandoned him. He'll be getting into a scuffle with another animal just before entering Cairo and since people will inhabit the area, you know they're going to find it intriguing.

DeathtoBella: Ha, anything Altaїr does can turn on a woman or repel them away indefinitely.

Cavea aurata: There is a romance scheduled between Altaїr and Vivian but it's not going to be similar to other stories that have them professing love within ten chapters. Far from it considering Altaїr's outlook in the romance department but two years is worth a lot of emotional development for the characters. There is a reason for Vivian being there that relates to the Piece of Eden so it's not that she's suddenly transported into a gaming world for absolutely no reason (not that being bonked on the head wasn't funny enough). And I totally thank Adventure Time for the idea because their adventures make me laugh, especially the suicidal balloons: 'Yay! To the Mesosphere. Finally, we can die!'

Kookie-douwh: Thank you for finding the fic humorous beyond meaning, I take a bow for it. There will be romance in it but it won't be the main focus, I want the story to be full of humor more than anything because an adventure's meant to be fun- not a romp around every country that would put Ezio's count to shame.

FrostyAngel84: Thanks, I bounce in my seat too when I'm writing it. There's so much that comes out of my brain and I either put it into the chapter or write it in my notes for future reference. Example: Vivian telling the Templars, 'If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can imagine.' 'Kill her.' 'Damn.'