"Eiji! Eiji! Wake up! Please!"

Ash knelt next to Eiji as panic surged through him, wondering what he had done to Eiji.

He shook his shoulders to wake him up, get him back to consciousness, but it was no use. Eiji didn't move or stirred but stayed unconscious.

He took his hand, trying to feel their bond which was far stronger when they touched, but it had disappeared completely. That had never happened before. He usually felt a faint humming sound in the back of his mind, like a quiet melody ringing in the background. He had always felt it for as long as he could remember. It had never disappeared before. Now their bond was gone. It felt as if a part of him had vanished. He had never felt so alone, so lost. He had destroyed their unique connection to each other. Maybe he had even destroyed Eiji…

What have I done to you? I've hurt the only person who's always been by my side and never gave up on me… I knew I shouldn't have met you. I don't deserve someone like you. I only bring you destruction and lead to your downfall. I should have known better, but I really wanted to meet you.

Tears pricked his eyes while he stared at Eiji, wondering what to do…He had to save him. But how? And was it even possible?

Suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder. Ash flinched and instinctively slapped the hand away, but Shorter had expected that and stopped his hand midair. Shorter's look burned into him; all humor had vanished out of his eyes. He had never seen such a serious expression on his face before. That wasn't a good sign...

Still, Shorter was the only one who could give him advice. He was the only one he knew who had a soulmate that lived close, so he knew more about bonds and telepathy than anyone else he knew. In the US, most soulmates lived too far apart to communicate telepathically, so most people had only a basic knowledge about soulmates and how bonds worked precisely.

"Ash, what the fuck happened? Just a moment ago, you were laughing together, and everything seemed to work out perfectly well for you." Shorter's gaze was so intense; he had to look away from him. He still hadn't grasped what had led to all of this, either...

When he didn't reply but kept staring at Eiji's unconscious form, Shorter firmly gripped both of his shoulders, shaking him.

"Ash! Answer me, goddammit! What the hell did you do? This is serious, you know? Eiji could be in danger!" Fear surged through him as he heard those words, and his hands clenched into fists as he tried to control his frustration at the situation in front of him.

"Fuck, I don't know!" Ash exclaimed furiously, glaring at Shorter. "I – I have no clue what happened, ok?"

Shorter had seen the confusion in his eyes because he calmed down again and motioned him to sit at the table where he had sat with Eiji before. Then, he checked Eiji's pulse and sighed in relief. "He's just unconscious. Let's get him upstairs. He needs to rest."

He carefully picked Eiji up and went to the apartment he shared with his sister. He placed Eiji on a couch in their living room, put a pillow under his head, and covered him with a blanket.

"He'll be ok.", he assured him, seeing how Ash kept staring at Eiji's unconscious form. "Now, tell me what happened. Everything, Ash!"

Ash sat down on the floor, leaning on the couch Eiji was resting on. He had pulled his knees up, his arms hugging his knees, avoiding Shorter's penetrating gaze.

"I – I really don't know, Shorter. It all started when Eiji showed me his camera and asked me if he could take a photo of me. When I saw the camera I – I panicked, ok? Suddenly my vision blacked out, and I was back in that room with all those monsters forcing themselves on me. All those horrible memories slammed into me, along with the immense feeling of pain and their evil laughter. You know why." Ash looked down at his lap while his hands around his knees clenched and started shaking uncontrollably.

Shorter sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulder. "Yes, of course, I understand. Please calm down, ok?", he replied in a softer tone.

Shorter knew everything about his past. He was his best friend and the only person he truly trusted. At one point, when he had spent the night at Shorter's and Nadia's apartment, Shorter had witnessed one of his terrifying nightmares and had woken him up. That's when Ash had finally broken down and had told him the truth. He had assumed that Shorter would abandon him, too, like everyone else.

Yet, he quickly realized that he had underestimated Shorter and their friendship. Shorter seemed carefree, cheerful and a bit crazy at times, but at the same time, he was also a highly-respected gang leader with street-smarts and a dangerous reputation. He had always known what Ash had gone through or had at least suspected. But he had never approached the topic but had waited for Ash to do so.

Instead of abandoning him, he had put an arm around his shoulder, comforting him, and had talked about everything with Ash for the rest of the night. It had been the first time he had talked about his past with anyone. When he had started talking, all his emotion he had suppressed for so long had come pouring out of him, and the tears had finally started falling. He had realized with a start that he had felt better after talking about it with someone who really listened to him.

When he had finished, he had seen tears in Shorter's eyes, much to his surprise. No one had ever cried for his sake, so he had been rendered speechless and had just stared at Shorter open-mouthed.

Shorter had just told him they were friends. At the time, they had both realized that they could never go against Dino; he was too powerful and ruled New York. Still, Shorter offered him to stay here if he needed a safe place to spend the night. When Ash asked about Nadia, he had told him with a mischievous grin that she had already adopted him and saw him as a second little brother. That had made Ash smile. Nadia was strict and always chastised them both for their swearing and their rude behavior but had become like a big sister to him who always looked out for him.

The next morning, Shorter had cooked him a bad Chinese breakfast. Shorter's cooking was awful compared to Nadia's, but Ash still loved his Chinese cooking anyway. Shorter always cheered him up with his easygoing attitude, and the Chang Dai had become a home for him, one of the few places he felt safe. And their friendship only grew closer after that.

"It's only natural that you overreacted when seeing the camera, Ash. Even if Eiji meant no harm and, to him, it was just an innocent question. He couldn't have known what seeing a camera would trigger in you." Ash nodded in relief and calmed down when he realized Shorter understood the reason for his overreaction. So, he slowly calmed down again and stopped trembling when noticing that Shorter didn't blame or judge him but tried to listen to him patiently.

"What happened after that?"

"All those images danced in front of my mind. I didn't notice my surroundings anymore, and those awful memories overpowered everything. I just heard the clicking sound of that camera like an endless echo ringing in my ears. It was Eiji who pulled me back to reality by sending me a telepathic message asking if I were fine. I just thought meeting Eiji was a mistake and abruptly left without explaining anything to him."

"You're a stubborn idiot sometimes. And I bet Eiji didn't accept that so easily.", Shorter replied. "Am I right?" Ash nodded sadly.

"Yes. Eiji wanted to know what he had done wrong. I felt his confusion through the bond. When I ignored him and walked to the exit, he ran after me and grabbed my hand. I didn't expect that and didn't realize that it was him. Not at first… Those images were still flickering in front of my eyes, and I just wanted to escape from there. So, I panicked, slapped his hand away and screamed at him not to touch me. I couldn't breathe and was still trembling, so I had some difficulty focusing on Eiji again."

Ash paused for a moment, wondering if he should add something. "I was furious and scared and just wanted to get away. I needed far too long to realize that Eiji was the one standing in front of me.", he admitted while staring at Eiji again.

"After a moment, Eiji gripped his head, started screaming in pain and begged me to stop. But I had no idea what he meant by that. And how I would be able to stop it. Whatever it was."

He looked at Shorter sadly while tears ran down his cheeks. He wiped them away and looked at Eiji before looking sideways at Shorter again.

"Do you know what he meant by that? You have a soulmate that lives close, so you know much more about it than I do. I'm new to this bonding thing.", Ash admitted honestly. "I felt so powerless."

"Of course, it's understandable that you panicked or overreacted. But overwhelming or intense emotions like yours can affect your soulmate as well. Especially now that you live so close. Keep that in mind. If you lose control over your emotions, you can hurt your soulmate unintentionally."

"But back when we were kids, he never blacked out. Although my emotions were much more intense, and he felt my pain through the bond."

"A bond is easier to control if there's some distance between you. Eiji learned to control the bond because he wanted to help you. Emotions affect you much more if you're closer to each other, especially if they're overwhelming you and you lose control over them. ", Shorter explained patiently. "Your emotions were so powerful; they slammed into Eiji with so much force that he was defenseless against them." Ash flinched at that, casting a worried look at Eiji's unconscious state, and clenched his fists.

"Then, all of this is my fault? I knew I shouldn't have met him. I should just leave."

When Ash wanted to get up, Shorter put a hand on his shoulder, preventing him from doing so.

"You can't do that, Ash. Eiji's still hurting. He has probably seen some of your memories."

"He's seen my memories?", Ash gasped out in shock, eyes widening. "No wonder he collapsed."

"Yes, it's true that you've hurt him, even if it wasn't your fault and it was just an accident. But you're the only one who can wake him up, Ash."

"I can't! I've already tried.", Ash cried out in frustration. "His presence is completely gone. I've destroyed our bond." Ash put his arms around himself, trembling again. Tears were pricking in his eyes.

"You're an idiot." Shorter said bluntly. Irritated by that statement, he glared at Shorter. "You can't destroy a bond. A soulmate's bond is unbreakable and lasts forever.", he continued.

"But - "

"You can feel the bond when Eiji is sleeping, but when he's unconscious like that, it's impossible to feel it anymore. It's gone temporarily, but if he wakes up, it will reappear.

You'll see." Shorter smiled encouragingly at him.

Then, his smile faded away, and Shorter's intense look bored into him, suddenly very serious. "The first thing you have to do is calm down, Ash. I'm serious here. In your current state, you can't help Eiji. Get something to drink and some fresh air. Cool your head and think about how you're going to explain this mess to Eiji when he wakes up."

Ash nodded sadly. "He probably will stay away from me after that."

"If you think that your soulmate who has always been there for you in the darkest times of your life leaves you just because of a minor accident, you don't know Eiji at all. Someone who comforted you all this time would never be this shallow. Just explain things to him, and he'll forgive you."

"I hope you're right.", Ash replied, looking doubtfully at Eiji.

"Of course, I'm right. And Ash, don't even think about leaving. Eiji needs you. If you don't wake him up soon, there will be side effects."

~ ~ ~

After he had calmed down, he went upstairs. Shorter had already left, telling him a moment ago that he'd help his sister clean up the restaurant for the night.

He moved closer, sitting down next to Eiji, and took his hand. Eiji didn't react, so he slowly sent some soothing and comforting emotions through the bond. Yes, he couldn't feel Eiji's side of the bond right now. Still, if the bond was still there, as Shorter had told him, maybe Eiji would still notice his side of the bond. After some minutes of concentrating intensely on their connection, he saw how Eiji stirred, and his eyelids flickered a bit, although his eyes weren't open yet.

After a moment, he felt the familiar humming sound that was Eiji's presence again. He sighed in relief. He had never assumed that he could miss a little thing such as a silent melody in the back of his mind. It made him realize that he had grown up with this bond and had always taken it for granted. He had taken Eiji and his unconditional love for granted.

The lack of Eiji's presence had terrified him. It felt as if a part of his self, of his soul, of his reason to live, had been ripped out. It had always been a flickering flame of hope and a soothing lullaby whispering in the back of his mind, reminding him that he wasn't alone.

Only now that it was gone, he finally discovered that Eiji's presence was like a lifeline to him. Eiji freed him from a current, pulling him underwater into a sea of darkness. His side of the bond regularly reached out for his hand, pulling him back to the surface highlighted by golden rays of sunshine dancing on the ocean's sapphire blue waves. Eiji was his ray of hope and his liver lining.

He swore that from now on, he'd appreciate his soulmate more. He tried to transmit a message through the bond, desperately hoping it would reach Eiji.

'I'm so sorry, Eiji, this is all my fault. But I'm here and will explain everything to you if you wake up. I promise.'

Eiji's eyes flickered a bit; then, he blinked a few times before his eyes fully opened again. After a moment, he slowly looked around in confusion until his eyes found his own.

When Eiji saw him, he suddenly shot up and put his arms around his neck, practically clinging to him while he broke down crying. Endless tears streamed down his face, and his whole body was shaking uncontrollably. Ash was so stunned that he had frozen up for a moment. Then he slowly put his arms around him and hugged him back, trying to calm him down by rubbing small circles into his back.

'Everything's fine, Eiji. I'm really sorry. I lost control over my emotions. I didn't want to hurt you…'

After a few minutes, Eiji slowly calmed down, and the tears turned into sobs before his grip around him loosened, and he let go of him.

"Eiji, are you feeling better?" He reached for Eiji with his hand but stopped, suddenly remembering how he had slapped his hand away. How Eiji's eyes had reflected how hurt he had been by his reaction...

To his surprise, Eiji stopped his hand in midair, embraced his hand in both of his and smiled softly at him.

"Yes, I'm feeling better. Thank you."

He nodded at Eiji, not daring to look into his eyes, too afraid of what he'd find there.

"Ash, what happened? Where am I? How did I get here?" He looked around in confusion, his eyes scanning the room.

"Don't worry. It's the apartment of Nadia and Shorter above the restaurant." He hesitated for a moment. "You collapsed on the floor because I lost control over my emotions. So, Shorter suggested we'd bring you here to rest." He got up and handed him a glass of water.

"Drink this. You still look awfully pale."

Eiji quietly nodded, took the glass and finished it in one gulp before placing it on the table next to the couch.

"I remember now. When you slapped my hand away, your emotions were so strong that they struck me with so much force that I was incapable of controlling them any more. That's probably why I fainted. It felt as if my head would explode any minute."

"I'm so sorry, Eiji. I caused you so much pain. I understand if you don't want to see me again after what I've done to you."

A single tear escaped his eye and ran down his cheek. He had really enjoyed Eiji's company and the time they had spent together here. Too bad it had to end so soon. He had ruined everything! But it was probably better that way. Better for Eiji, at least. He'd only bring him trouble. None of this would have happened if they hadn't met…

"No, that's not what I want!", Eiji exclaimed angrily, glaring at him. Ash was so stunned by his outburst and his burning gaze, he was speechless for a minute, just staring at him in disbelief. Eiji took a deep breath, calming himself down, and then continued in a softer voice.

"Ash, that was an accident. I know you never intended to hurt me. I enjoyed the time here together with you. It was fun. And I really want to get to know you better. You were always there for me and lent me a helping hand when I needed it. So, I know you're a kind and caring person. You'd never ever hurt me on purpose."

"But what if I lose control again? I don't want to hurt you. It's better if you stay away from me."

When Ash still didn't look at him, his eyes downcast at his hands, Eiji slowly touched his chin and moved his head upwards, so they were at eye level again. Fear shot through him at the sudden touch that he didn't see coming. He instinctively pulled away as if he'd been burnt.

Eiji had also noticed his reaction and immediately let go of his chin and moved back a little to give him some space. At the same time, he sent him soothing and calm emotions through the bond.

'Ash, please calm down. I just wanted you to look at me, ok?'

Ash had felt through the bond that he had noticed his discomfort and had immediately backed away. Still, Eiji was confused by his reaction. He should explain things to him. Eiji would probably be afraid that he had done something wrong.

He looked at Eiji as he had wanted him to, and scrutinized his face, and tried to concentrate on their connection. He only felt a hint of worry as Eiji smiled at him encouragingly.

"I'm sorry, Eiji. I – ", he began, stumbling over the words. Fuck, he just didn't know how to begin.

'You can use telepathy', Eiji reminded him. 'Sometimes it's easier that way.' He smiled sadly at him, a bit embarrassed that Eiji had read him so easily.

'I don't like people touching me.'

Eiji smiled at him knowingly. "I think that's an understatement. I could feel raw fear coming from your side when I touched you. You were scared to death for a split second. Is that why you slapped my hand away when I didn't want you to leave?"

Ash nodded quietly.

'I associate touch with violence and pain. That's why I overreacted and slapped your hand away. Touch means immediate danger for me, and I instinctively protect myself.'

Ash carefully looked Into Eiji's eyes, expecting to find disappointment there but finding a different truth instead that caught him off guard. Pure compassion and warmth were reflected in Eiji's eyes as he bent a bit forward and reached for his hand. Then he abruptly stopped and pulled back.

"I'm sorry, Ash. You tell me that touch means something negative to you, and the next thing I do is touch you. You must think I'm either deaf or completely stupid. I just wanted to find a way to comfort you, to make sure that you see that I understand you."

Ash felt how the first small but genuine smile spread across his face while he grabbed his hand. "It's fine. I don't mind your touch. Your touch is gentle and soft. It feels good and warm. Safe."

"I'm glad to hear that." Then he frowned at him, his eyes darkening again.

"Ash, there's something I don't understand. When I touched you a few minutes ago, you were fine with touching me. I also hugged you, and you didn't seem to mind. Yet, when I touched you to prevent you from leaving and even now when I touched your face, I felt your immense fear. Please explain that to me? I don't want to hurt or scare you unintentionally."

Ash sat there with slumped shoulders but still met his eyes. Eiji had proved that he cared, his huge brown eyes reflecting pure honesty and kindness, so he deserved a sincere answer.

'It scares me when the touch comes out of nowhere without warning or if I don't see the person who's touching me. If you touch me, make sure that I can see you. Then I won't overreact. At least, I hope so.'

"I see, that makes sense. I'll remember that.", Eiji promised him, his eyes lighting up again.

"Can I ask you something?"

When Eiji nodded, he continued.

"When you began screaming, what exactly did you see?"

"At first, I just felt your emotions. Your panic, anger and fear, mostly. They flowed through the bond. But then your memories came rushing through the bond and hit me without warning. Together with your raw emotions, it felt as if my head split in two."

"So, Shorter was correct. You saw my memories. All of them?", Ash asked in pure horror, all color draining from his face.

"No, too many of your memories flowed through me at lightning-fast speed to see them all. Or make sense of them.", Eiji assured him. "But I saw enough to know the cause for that immense pain when we were younger. I saw how those men hurt you, how they forced yourself on you, and – Eiji choked on the next words while tears ran down his face again.

"Raped me?", he finished Eiji's sentence. Eiji nodded, wiping his tears away. Then he slowly moved closer to Ash, so he saw it coming, and hugged him.

"I'm so sorry, Ash. Seeing that was horrible and disgusting. I can't even begin to imagine how much you have suffered. I wish I could have been there to help you. I felt so powerless."

Tears pricked at Ash's eyes again, but this time, it wasn't because of his dark memories. It was because Eiji was still here. He hadn't run away, abandoned him, or been disgusted when learning of his dark past and his history of abuse. Quite the contrary, in fact, after the embrace, his eyes still reflected pure warmth and empathy. And his eyes brimmed with unshed tears while the rest streamed down his face. Eiji didn't hide them at all. He wasn't embarrassed but displayed them openly.

Ash had always been taught that emotions were a sign of weakness. And yet, Eiji wasn't weak, he radiated pure honesty and compassion, and his tears were proof of that. His empathy and his sincere emotions were his greatest strength and offered him comfort and warmth he had never felt before.

Of course, he had always felt them through the bond but being so close to him and actually seeing his face and tears, Eiji's feelings hit differently.

Realizing that, he decided to do something that he would usually never do. He moved closer and put an arm around Eiji, a tentative attempt to see if that was allowed. He usually avoided touching people. Still, he wanted to comfort Eiji, too, when he was hurting—seeing all his memories had been hard on Eiji. He felt the sadness and horror through their connection.

Eiji's touch didn't hurt him but helped him. Even saved him. So, he could do it, too, right? When Eiji relaxed and leaned towards him, all the tension fell off him, and he pulled him closer. Eiji immediately returned his embrace and started sobbing into his chest. He gently stroked the back of Eiji's head.

'I'm sorry you had to see that. I wanted to protect you from that side of my life. You have been there for me, Eiji. Always. And you have helped me. More than you've ever realized.'

For a moment, they sat there in comfortable silence. However, Ash felt that Eiji wanted to ask something else but was still hesitating. He nodded at him.

'Ask me. It's fine.'

Relief shot through Eiji, and he relaxed, gratitude lighting up his brown eyes.

'What about the camera? You completely panicked when you saw it. Why? ', he asked him quietly.

Ash felt his uncertainty and concern. He always used telepathy if he was unsure how Ash would react or if the question would make him uncomfortable.

It did make him uncomfortable, yet, after causing Eiji so much pain, he deserved to know the reason behind it. It was the least he could do...

'One of my abusers took photos while raping me. It was a professional camera that looked similar to the one you own. When I saw it, all those memories came rushing back to me, and I was in that room again... All I could hear was that clicking sound of the camera... I couldn't breathe and... just wanted to escape... Sorry...'

Tears streamed down his face, and he stubbornly looked away from him. He realized that Eiji would never look down on him, but he felt so pathetic that such a simple everyday item as a camera could have such a lasting effect on him... could still provoke a full-fledged panic attack in him. He hated that those memories still controlled him...

'I'm so sorry, Ash. I didn't know. Please look at me, ok?'

Ash felt his worry through the bond, but he didn't want Eiji to see him like that...

Then, Eiji carefully touched his hand while simultaneously sending calming emotions through the bond, so he knew Eiji was the one touching him. Eiji had taken into consideration that his touch would be coming out of nowhere for him since his vision was all blurry.

'You're not alone, Ash. I'm here. Share your pain with me. Don't push me away. Please. I'd do anything for you!'

That last one made Ash look up at him in surprise. Eiji smiled softly at him and then slowly moved towards him, never stopping to look into his eyes. Then his hand moved towards him, and he gently wiped his tears away.

That kind gesture made his resolve finally shatter, and he couldn't stop his tears from falling any longer. His whole body began trembling as he broke down crying, setting free all the emotions he had suppressed for so long. Eiji slowly bent closer and hugged him, sending him soothing messages through the bond and staying like this until he had calmed down again.

'Ash, I'm really sorry that you have so many horrible and disgusting memories. I just saw some images through the bond.'

'Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't want them to send them to you. I lost control again. I...'

'It's fine. Our bond exists to share good and bad memories, happiness and pain, with each other. Because shared pain lessens the burden on our souls, but shared happiness heals our souls.'

Ash pulled out of the hug. Thank you, Eiji. I'm glad I've finally met you in person. That you're here now." Eiji pulled out of the hug and gave him one of his radiant smiles.

"Yes, I'm happy I met you, too. And you won't get rid of me anytime soon. Even if the world turns on you, I'll always be on your side."