Please look at the changed book cover for a moment. This beautiful fan art was created by one of my readers for this story. She's an amazing artist! I used it as the book cover since I love it so much!

"Eiji, are you even listening to me? What's wrong with you today?"

This morning, Eiji had met Ibe at his studio to work on a project with him. Eiji had also asked him for some tips to improve his skills in photography. He had finally saved enough money to buy himself a Nikon DSLR camera, yet hadn't tried out all the new features yet.

He hoped that Ibe would find the time to explain some of his new camera's elements that were new to him. Ibe had also promised to take him on a walk through New York and show him some great photo motives and places that offered a great view of the city. Eiji had looked forward to that because he admired Ibe since he had visited him in Izumo and had won that photo competition with his pole vaulting photos. He was like an older brother to him, so he had immediately agreed when Ibe had asked him to accompany him to New York after his pole vaulting injury.

Now that he had moved into his little apartment on campus and had enrolled at college, he had started working part-time for Ibe to be able to pay for his living expenses himself. Eiji preferred to earn his own money. Ibe had offered that he could stay with him in his apartment or above his studio, but he had politely declined, telling him he didn't want to be a freeloader and that he wanted to live on his own and earn his own money. He enjoyed the freedom and the independence here, especially since no one knew him here. It was a new start for him, a second chance.

Since New York was one of the world's most expensive cities, Ibe had offered Eiji to work part-time for him. It was a win-win situation since he could also use the practical experience for his college degree. The college required the students to do an apprenticeship or a part-time job for half a year to learn about everyday life and the daily routine. He had asked his tutor at college about it and had learned that his job at Ibe's studio was accepted as an apprenticeship. So, his work with Ibe helped him to improve his practical skills and to get credits for his college degree.

That's why he felt awful that he wasn't in top form right now. To say that he had a bad day was an understatement. He wasn't able to focus on the task at hand. He had noted that he had a hard time concentrating, and his thoughts were often somewhere else, drifting off to the talk with Ash from last night.

After talking to Ash yesterday, it had been past midnight when he had finally arrived home. Shorter had offered that he could stay overnight, but Eiji would have an early appointment with Ibe at his studio the following morning, so he had preferred to return home. Ash had given him a ride on his motorcycle, explaining that this area wasn't safe at night.

After that eventful evening, Eiji hadn't gotten any sleep. Ash's memories that he had accidentally seen had still haunted him, and he couldn't stop reflecting on Ash's harsh life and all the horror and suffering he had gone through. He had enjoyed his time with him but had been shocked to learn that Ash's life had only been dominated by violence, pain and fear.

Of course, he had suspected that he had led a much tougher life than he had done, having always felt his excruciating pain and immense fear. Still, he had always imagined that such a living hell as he had seen in his memories didn't exist in real life. He had realized with a start that he came from a completely different world where such nasty and gruesome occurrences were only part of your favorite crime series. So, he might be naive and innocent, but he was sure that what Ash had told him had only been the tip of the iceberg, just the censored version...

'Oh, looks like you're busy, and I'm distracting you.'

He had just talked with Ash telepathically for a while and had paid more attention to him than Ibe trying to explain his latest project to him.

Usually, he was really good at controlling the bond, blending Ash out with the main focus on the real-life conversation he was having. He'd never block the bond to Ash; it was more about control, To focus on one conversation while the other continued in the back of his mind like a quiet melody. Like a radio playing in the background. Your primary attention wasn't on the radio, but you still noticed which song was being played.

"Yes, I just can't focus on you right now.", Eiji replied quietly. Sorry."

"Excuse me?" Ibe asked, irritation resonating in his voice.

Eiji slapped a hand across his face, then sighed. He had accidentally said that out loud, instead of transferring his thoughts to Ash, as he had intended to. Just great! Now Ibe would think he'd lost his mind if he didn't explain the situation to him.

'You always say things aloud if you're nervous or exhausted. Are you fine?' A trace of worry reached him from Ash's side.

'I'm just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night.'

'Sorry, that's probably my fault. I just wanted to cheer you up. You seem a bit down today. Usually, you're much better than me at finding a balance between real and telepathic conversations. I'll talk to you later. I have to take care of some important matters anyway.'

'I'm sorry, Ash. Please don't blame yourself, ok? This isn't your fault. Don't forget about tonight, ok?.', Eiji answered, unable to hide his smile.

'I look forward to seeing you again.' Eiji felt a hint of happiness coming from Ash's side before his presence got fainter.

Now, Eiji had a guilty conscience because Ash had just wanted to help him. Ash was right, he was usually really good at focusing on two conversations at once, but today his concentration was non-existent, probably because his mind constantly wandered back to the conversation with Ash. Being so close to him and seeing him in person, he had felt his utter loneliness, self-loathing, internal suffering and pain resonating through their bond, the intensity varying. Thinking back to Ash's panic, the fear in his eyes and how he had flinched at his touch, tears welled up in his eyes again. Ash didn't deserve any of this...

Unlike him, Ash usually hid or suppressed his true emotions, his hurt and his tears. Eiji had only caught a glimpse of his suffering and had only scratched on the surface. Ash's smile had been mostly fake, a mask hiding his true emotions. That mask had received little cracks when he had talked to him in person, but it hadn't been torn down yet. His beautiful green eyes were mesmerizing, yet dark shadows were still lingering in his eyes. All of that worried Eiji, and it had also been the reason he hadn't found much sleep the previous night.

Eiji wanted to stay by his side, prove to him that life was also full of hope, light, and beauty. Ash had probably been more truthful to him and had already shown him a side that no one else knew. It was the first step in the right direction.

This was only their beginning. He'd make sure that Ash learned to trust again, that his mask would fall, and he'd see his true self eventually and would be able to heal his shattered soul. He had to be patient and spend more time with him. He had seen his kind heart and his pure soul, but at the moment, both were shrouded in darkness. He would be the gentle breeze and the sunshine who would blow away the dark clouds and the raging storm holding them captive.

When he had wiped his tears away and looked up again, Ibe stared at him incredulously.

"Eiji, you're scaring me. You're not yourself today. Usually, you're focused, well-organized and meticulous when working with me. Today you're distracted all the time. Did something happen to you? You know you can talk to me, right?" Ibe's eyes reflected a mixture of worry and compassion as his intense look bored into him.

"I'm sorry, Ibe. That phrase just now wasn't directed at you. I - I've discovered that my soulmate lives here in New York. I can finally speak to him telepathically." Eiji couldn't hide his smile when he thought about Ash.

"Your soulmate lives here? That's great, Eiji. I'm so happy for you. You've always hoped to find him, right?" Eiji saw the relief in his warm eyes because he could relate to being apart from your soulmate. Eiji remembered that Ibe had once told him that his soulmate was American as well.

"Ibe, didn't you tell me once that you also have a soulmate that lived far away, right?"

"Yes, I didn't grow up with my soulmate, either, although I always felt his presence. So I know what you're going through. I've only met Max when I worked with Jessica on a project as a photographer. But soulmates always meet eventually. We live closer now since I moved to New York." Then, he looked at him intently.

"Being so close is a significant change at the beginning, but you'll get used to it. Just try to help each other out. If you have any questions about your bond, just ask me, ok?"

Eiji smiled at him. "Yes, thanks. I may come back to that."

"By the way, Eiji, have you met your soulmate yet?", Ibe asked him curiously.

"Yes, I did. I met him yesterday evening. He's great, although a bit stubborn, but he had a really traumatic and terrible childhood. He accidentally showed me some of his most terrifying memories. They were disgusting and vicious. That's why I didn't get much sleep last night. I couldn't stop thinking about his cruel life and what I could do to help him.", Eiji admitted sadly.

"I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have come. I'll just slow you down, but I needed a way to distract myself - "

"Of course, I understand that meeting your soulmate and learning how much he has suffered would be difficult, Eiji. Just be there for him as you have always been. That's enough.", Ibe suggested. "Believe in him and stay by his side."

"I'm relieved, to be honest. I was wondering what the reason could be that you're not focused today. So, you were talking to your soulmate and me simultaneously. Having two conversations to focus on is hard at the beginning. It requires much concentration. It can be exhausting if you do it for a longer time. Just be careful, ok?"

"I'm usually pretty good at it, but today I have trouble doing that. Probably because I'm so tired.", he admitted honestly.

Ibe scrutinized his face. "Eiji, I think that's an understatement. You look completely worn out. How about you get some rest while I finish the project? And then I show you some great places to try out your new camera."

"But - " Eiji interjected at once.

"It's fine. I have a couch in my office. Get some sleep. You're always hard-working and a great help to me. But in your current state, you can't help me. I think if you get some rest and some fresh air afterwards, you'll feel better."

"Thank you. Maybe you're right. Then I'll accept your offer."

After a few hours of sleep, Eiji felt better. Meanwhile, Ibe had finished his project and offered him a coffee when he appeared in his study.

"You look much better now. Are you ready to get some fresh air and take some photos?"

~ ~ ~

Eiji still couldn't believe he had really found his soulmate! In a world like Japan, where everybody had a soulmate that lived close, he had felt awfully alone and lost. He had never really belonged in this world because he hadn't been able to join any discussion about soulmate stuff. That was the reason why he had focused all of his attention on pole vaulting instead. In a sport, soulmate-related topics were meaningless, and it was the only time where he had felt normal. Here, only athletic skills mattered. Up in the air, he had felt weightless and had enjoyed pure freedom, even if it had just been for just a few seconds. It was the reason he had loved it and why he had excelled at it.

So, he had been indescribably happy and thrilled when he had realized he had found his soulmate in New York. He loved that he could communicate with him now and felt less lonely in this huge city. He had just arrived a few weeks ago, so he hadn't made any friends yet. But he was sure that would change when college would start in a few days.

Ash was amazing. Apart from his handsome looks and his captivating emerald eyes, he was also super smart and kind. He had noticed that he had been tired and a bit sad after learning of his harsh life and seeing his most terrifying memories. He had reached out to him this morning and had tried to cheer him up. He couldn't wish for a better soulmate.

Usually, Eiji talked to him telepathically, telling him about his day, college or photography.

Ash just gave monosyllabic answers, yet Eiji felt that he enjoyed it because Ash was more at ease, and he felt how his mood became more cheerful. Ash wasn't trusting him completely and still put some distance between them. Such behavior was understandable; it was his protective shield. Eiji was convinced that after spending some time together, Ash would put his guard down and learn to trust him.

So, in the afternoon, after his photo tour with Ibe, he had bought a lot of Japanese ingredients, intending to cook a Japanese dinner for Ash when he came by later. He hoped that Ash liked his Japanese dishes. He loved cooking and wanted to create something special for Ash tonight to show him how much he meant to him.

Ash believed that he didn't deserve him as a soulmate and had only caused him pain and suffering. So, he wanted to show him that he was wrong, that Ash had helped him heal, too. Without him, he would never have gotten over his depression. Eiji just wanted to thank him and prove to him that he needed him, too. Ash was quite stubborn and too proud to admit his true feelings, but behind that attitude, he was kind, understanding and warm-hearted.

He really hoped that Ash would come as he had promised. He only reluctantly agreed to meet him, although Eiji saw in his eyes that we wanted to. He wondered what that was about? They had gotten along so well...

~ ~ ~

When Ash entered his apartment, Ash looked around its interest as if he wanted to learn more about him from inspecting his apartment. It was one of those small student apartments on college campus, so it was nothing special. It was small with simple furniture, a small bedroom and another part study, part living room, a tiny kitchen and an even tinier bathroom.

Still, he had decorated it with photos in frames or as posters. Some were about Japan, of his family, some of his friends and some of his hometown. On one was a temple, on another one a beach and a white lighthouse. Eiji curiously watched Ash as he looked around.

"Did you take all of those?", he asked while looking at them more closely. "They're incredible."

"Thank you." Eiji beamed at him.

Eiji explained all the photos to Ash, describing his hometown to him in more detail and telling him about his family.

"Your hometown looks nice. And your sister looks cute and like you. Do you miss them?"

"A little. But I'm happy I came here. Especially since I met you."

Ash's cheeks flushed red with embarrassment, and he stubbornly looked away.

Eiji grinned. He looked much younger like that. It was kind of cute.

Then he noticed that Ash was holding something in his hand and pointed at it.

"What is that you're holding?"

"Oh, sorry. It's a gift. Just some cakes from a café I know."

Eiji looked inside the box.

"Wow, they look so delicious. Thank you!"

"Come on, let's eat. Dinner is ready. He grabbed his hand and led him to the living room. There was a small table set for two, and there were several dishes on it. "You cooked something? I just thought we order pizza or something...

Eiji's brows furrowed, and he rolled his eyes at him.

"Don't be ridiculous, Ash. I invited you, so I wanted to cook something for you for dinner.

"What is all of this?" Ash took a closer look at all the dishes on the table.

"It's Japanese. Have you eaten Japanese before?"

"Does sushi count? I think that's the only Japanese food I've eaten so far."

"Yes, but there's more to Japanese food than sushi. This is dried horse mackerel and boiled spinach. Then, there's rice and miso soup. And that's over there is natto.

Ash smelled at it and wrinkled his nose. "It's gone bad. And it smells. What is that even made of?

"Natto is fermented soybeans. It's supposed to smell."

They sat down, and Ash continued staring at the natto. "How do you eat it?"

"To the natto, add soy sauce, mustard and green onions. Then mix till it's all sticky."

Ash tried it but didn't look convinced that you could eat that. The frown on his forehead and his tightened eyes betrayed him.

"Pour it over rice and then it's ready to eat. It's so delicious! Do you like it?", Eiji asked while digging into it.

Ash did as Eiji had instructed and tried it. He choked when tasting it. His face reflected pure disgust, and all color drained from his face.

"I think I'm going to throw up. How can you even eat that?"

Eiji burst out laughing. "Your face! Priceless!"

"I'm sorry, but - "

"It's fine. Natto isn't for everyone. Try the rest. I'm sure you'll like it."

Ash tried the miso soup next. "This is pretty good."

He tried the fish next. He carefully smelled it, wrinkling his nose again. "This stinks, too."

"It's supposed to."

"Why? Do Japanese people only eat stinky food?"

"We don't say it smells; we say it has aroma. Healthy Japanese food is good for you. I bet you only eat meat like most Americans. Hotdogs and things like that."

Ash bit into the fish. Eiji just stared at him.

"Head first. Well, what did I expect from a cat?", he muttered to himself.

"Did you just call me a cat?", Ash growled at him while his eyes burned dangerously.

"Well, your nickname is Lynx, isn't it? That's basically a cat, although a wild and dangerous one. And you do eat fish like one.", he grinned.

"Eiji, where did you hear that name? And how much do you know?" Ash stopped eating and his eyes darkened while he watched him carefully.

"Ash, you're legendary around here. Everybody knows your name. And some gang fight you were suspected to be involved in was on the news, and the whole city talked about it. Is it really true you're a gang leader?"

Eiji had heard rumors around the city about the infamous and notorious Ash Lynx.

However, he had never been scared of Ash. The Ash he had talked to the other day hadn't been a gang leader but a still hurting teenager who had taken care of him and comforted him when he had broken down crying after seeing his worst memories. He had wiped his tears away and had patiently explained to him why he had overreacted. So, he wasn't a bad person.

There had to be more to the story and Ash Lynx than was evident at first glance.

"Yeah. I'm a gang leader, a criminal and a killer.", Ash answered bluntly while he avoided looking into his eyes. "You're probably disappointed, right? I'm sorry someone as genuinely good as you has such an awful soulmate. You deserve someone better than me..."

Ash abruptly got up, but Eiji quickly grabbed his hand, preventing him from doing so. He didn't overreact this time because Eiji was sitting opposite him, and he had seen it coming.

"Please stay. Tell me more about your life, Ash. I heard some rumors circulating around the city. There's usually a grain of truth to them, but most of it is hugely exaggerated or entirely made up. Please tell me the truth, Ash."

He emphasized his honest wish to learn more about him by sending his sincere emotions through the bond. Ash just stared at him in disbelief, then he relaxed again, and his features softened. He sat down again.

"I just became a gang leader to protect myself and some people close to me. I needed power and strength since I had some powerful enemies at the time. Even so, I'm not a saint, Eiji. I've killed people, and most people are terrified of me and call me a monster or a devil. That's who I am." Eiji shivered from the pain overwhelming Ash's eyes. At first glance, he seemed cold, yet his soul was crying and writhing in agony.

"That's not true. You're not a monster, Ash. I know because I saw your memories, and I can feel your self-hate, your loneliness and your pain. I can also see your pure soul and your kind heart."

When Ash gave him a sad smile but didn't seem to believe him, Eiji grabbed his hand.

"Ash, I don't care what others say about you. I have a unique connection to you; I can see that you suppressed your emotions, probably to protect yourself. Even so, the way you comforted me the previous evening proved to me that you're kind and warm-hearted, so I'm happy that I've finally found you. So, pushing me away won't work. I promised you to stay by your side, and I will.", Eiji insisted. Ash stared at him in utter disbelief, eyes widening. Then a single tear ran down his face.

"Answer me one question, Ash. Why do you kill people?"

"I have no other choice. People attack me all the time to take over my territory and get more power. I just fight back. I don't enjoy this, Eiji. I wish I could lead a normal life as you do.

However, I can't just quit being a gang leader. People would still hunt me down. Or the people I love. I just don't want to drag you into this. That's why I wanted to stay away from you. It was to protect you." He wiped his tear away and started at his food, avoiding eye contact.

"I understand that. And I thank you for trying to protect me. But I make my own choices and want to stay by your side." Ash looked up in surprise and Eiji smiled encouragingly at him.

"Thank you, Eiji. For believing me. For not abandoning me. I feel like a teenager when I'm with you. So, I enjoyed that evening with you as well. More than you probably realized.", he admitted sincerely, the first real smile crossing Ash's face.

"I'm happy to hear that. You are a teenager, and you deserve me as a soulmate. I need you, too, Ash. A soul bond always works both ways. You'll understand it better when I teach you some details about our bond later. Let's finish our meal, ok? Did you like the rest of the meal?"

"Yes, it was really delicious. You're a great cook." Then he smirked at him, his eyes lighting up with mischief. "You'll make a good wife one day."

Eiji glared at him, then turned away from him, pouting. Ash burst out laughing.

"You're cute when you're mad. I'll get the cakes for dessert."

~ ~ ~

"No alcohol tonight, Ash!"

Before they had sat down on the couch, Ash had asked Eiji for a beer but had immediately been chastised harshly by Eiji. Ash raised his brows at him.

"Don't tell me this is the moment where you'll point out next that I'm a minor and it's against the law or something.", Ash protested. "Have you even drunken alcohol before?"

"Of course, I have. And no, this is the moment where I tell you that alcohol numbs our bond, smartass. With your superior intelligence, you should have deduced that yourself."

"Oh. That makes sense, I guess. I didn't know the bond could be influenced by alcohol. What happens with the bond exactly when you drink too much?", Ash asked curiously.

"If you pass out drunk, the bond will completely disappear until you regain consciousness.", Like when I passed out the other day.", Eiji explained to him. "If you just have a few drinks and are a bit drunk, the bond will get blurry. It's like a dense fog surrounds it. You can only feel a tiny fracture of your soulmate's emotions, and you usually can't pinpoint your soulmate's location anymore."

"The bond can be used as a tracking device?", Ash asked in amazement.

"Only if you concentrate hard enough. And it requires experience that we don't have yet. So, don't worry, I don't know every step you take. Yet.", he smirked.

"So, where do we start?", Eiji wondered, looking at Ash. "Do you have anything you'd like to know?"

"Let me think about it for a moment." He frowned for a minute before his eyes lit up. "Maybe you can teach me to transfer emotions to you? How did you manage to show me your emotions and memories that last time?"

"Oh, that's a great way to start! You just have to picture the image, memory or the feeling attached to it in your mind. Then, close your eyes, concentrate on our connection, and send it towards my side of the bond. It's easier when there's a physical connection, like when our hands touch. If you have more experience, you can also send it without touching and with opened eyes and even over some greater distance."

When he didn't reply at once, lost in thought, Eiji grinned at him. "Do you want to try?"

"No! I – I can't do that. What if I lose control again?", Ash immediately replied, fear rushing through him. Eiji put an arm on his shoulder to put him at ease.

"Ash, calm down. You won't lose control. I know you have many horrible memories, but I'm sure you have some precious memories as well. About Shorter, maybe? Or something from your childhood?"

Ash thought about it for a moment, then nodded. He took Eiji's hand and closed his eyes, concentrating on the memory he wanted to show Eiji. Then he listened to their bond's humming sound and directed the image to Eiji's side in his mind. When he was finished, he opened his eyes and looked at Eiji, wondering if it had worked. Eiji's radiant smile said it all.

"You looked really cute as a kid. Who was the guy standing next to you? You kind of look alike."

He felt how a small smile dawned on his face when he thought back on that memory.

"That was my half-brother Griffin. He raised me. He is fifteen years older than me."

"He loves you very much. It was in the way he looked at you. Where is he now?"

Ash's smile faded away while he thought back to when his brother went to the Army, leaving him. That's when his happy childhood had ended.

"I – I don't know. He went to serve in the Army. After some time, he went missing. I've looked for him everywhere, but I couldn't find him. Even if I find him, he'd probably be disappointed in me. Of what I've become.", he added sadly while looking down at his hands.

"That's not true, Ash. Your brother loved you. He'd probably be sad that he couldn't protect you. But he'd be proud of you. Because you experienced horrible and disgusting things, but you didn't lose your kind heart. Many people would turn into monsters themselves after such traumatic experiences."

"I hope you're right. I'll find him one day. I haven't given up yet."

"That's the spirit! If I can help in any way, just tell me."

Ash smiled at him, grateful that Eiji hadn't told him to give up. Max had given up looking for Griffin after years of research and had told him to do the same. However, Max didn't understand that Griffin was the only person who had created a warm home for him and had loved him. If there were only the slightest chance to find him, he would keep looking for him.

"Ash, can I try something? It's a soulmate thing my friend told me about. I always wanted to try it when I'd meet my soulmate. We just have to intertwine our fingers."

"What do you want to do?"

"My friend told me that if we intertwine our fingers and concentrate on our bond, we can see the red thread of fate –

"Red thread of what?", Ash interrupted him suddenly. "What are you talking about?"

"You don't know? Well, it makes sense, I guess. The saying is Chinese, so everyone in Japan knows it, too. But in the US, not many people would know it. You can only see it if you live close. It connects our souls."

"What's it about?", Ash asked curiously.

It goes like this:

An invisible red thread connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle. But it will never break.

"The red thread of fate is said to be on the pinky finger of one person and the thumb of the other. But the saying is ancient, so that the details may vary. Only soulmates can see it. It's invisible to the rest of the world."

Ash frowned at him. "That sounds like a fairy tale. A children's story. Do you believe in stuff like that?" To his surprise, Eiji wasn't offended. Instead, his eyes it up, turning golden-brown before he smiled softly at him.

"I do. Don't you believe that it was fate that we met here?"

"No. I don't believe in fate.", Ash replied stubbornly.

"That's understandable after all those horrible things you've experienced."

Eiji tried to cover it up with a smile, but Ash still saw his disappointment and felt his sadness resonating through the bond.

"But", Ash added quietly, "I believe in you. Do you think that's enough?"

Eiji beamed at him, cheering up from one second to the other. "I'm sure it is. Let's try."

"Why is that so important to you?", he wanted to know.

"I grew up with that saying, and all the people told me they could see it. The red thread, I mean. Since I didn't have a soulmate that lived close, I've always dreamed of seeing that thread, too. It's proof that we're soulmates and kind of an initiation ritual, maybe? It can also intensify the bond between us."

"I guess it was hard growing up like that. Ok, let's try. What do I have to do?"

"We just intertwine our fingers, close our eyes and concentrate on the bond. If we open our eyes, we should see it."

They tried it, and suddenly, he felt it. There was a soft little breeze surrounding them that felt warm and comfortable. Ash couldn't really describe the feeling, but when they touched hands, he felt something that he had never felt before. Something new and perfect. It was the first time that touch felt good. He had found something he didn't even know he had been missing. Their souls were bound from the beginning, but now they were connected. As if both their souls had become one and entangled in one another. They were connected forever. At least, that's what it felt like.

Ash opened his eyes, and his eyes met Eiji's. When Eiji's eyes shifted to their hands, he followed Eiji's gaze. He saw in Eiji's shining eyes that he had seen something. Only he hadn't seen anything.

He abruptly let go of Eiji's hand and crossed his arms. "This is stupid. I told you it's just a fucking fairy tale, a myth. It's not real. It's scientifically impossible to see a red thread. Things like that don't exist.", Ash insisted stubbornly.

"You haven't seen it.", Eiji stated the obvious. "But I have."

"Then, we're not soulmates. We can't be."

"Ash, do you really believe that? You have felt it, too, right? How our souls intertwined and connected on a deeper level? The soft breeze surrounding us?"

Ash wanted to get up and leave but stopped in his tracks when he saw the sadness and hurt displayed in Eiji's eyes. He reluctantly sat back down and shook his head. "No, I don't. I'm sorry, Eiji. I've hurt you by saying that. But why can't I see it? I feel so stupid."

"When you were talking to Nadia, Shorter told me you're a genius. Is that true, or was he just mocking me?"

"I wish everybody would stop saying that. I'm not a genius. How can I ever have a normal life if everybody puts a genius label on me?" Ash ran a hand through his hair and looked away from him.

"Ok, I promise I won't call you that again. But you are smarter than most people, right? Then it does make sense that you can't see the thread." When Ash's eyes burnt in irritation, Eiji elaborated further.

"Ash, you don't believe in the bond. You lost your faith which is understandable after going through so many hardships. You only believe in solid proof, evidence and facts. Because facts are undeniable and never let you down, they give you certainty. So, you can't believe in abstract matters anymore. Like fate, religion or soulmates. You're afraid to feel."

"What's wrong with relying on logic and reason? Academics?"

"Nothing, of course. But you can't explain everything with science, Ash. Some things don't have a logical explanation but an emotional or spiritual one."

"What do you mean?" He looked at Eiji in confusion, wondering what he was getting at.

"Take you and me, for example. Why are we soulmates? Looking at it from a logical angle and only at first glance, we have nothing in common. You're smart, handsome, physically strong, a natural leader, according to Shorter, and you think logically. In comparison, I'm ordinary. I have ordinary intelligence, looks and I'm physically weak. I don't think logically at all but rely on my emotions and my instinct first. My feelings and my artistic and creative senses are my tools as a photographer.

Ash agreed but still wondered what Eiji's conclusion would be. He was right; they were polar opposites. But what did that mean? And why did they get along so well even if they possessed contrasting personalities?", he quietly wondered.

"So, only on the surface, we have nothing in common.", Eiji continued. "We're like black and white, exact opposites. To top it off, we come from different countries, backgrounds, cultures and ethnicities. We don't even speak the same language. And yet, we're soulmates.

Why? If you rely on reason, it makes no sense." Eiji looked at him intently, waiting for his reaction.

Ash shrugged and returned his gaze. "It doesn't.", he finally admitted. "So why are we soulmates? You must have an idea."

"It's because we complete each other, Ash. We teach each other what the other one is lacking. I teach you that emotions are necessary and that not everything you do has to be rational and thought through. That sometimes, doing stupid and spontaneous things is just fun. And it's fun because you just live in the moment and enjoy it. Without thinking about possible consequences."

"You sound like Shorter. He always gets me in trouble with his crazy ideas."

"But you did enjoy most of them, right? Because he's your best friend and you like hanging out with him. Such feelings are essential, and it takes courage to admit them.", Eiji explained to him patiently.

Ash thought about it, then nodded. "So what do you learn from me?"

"You teach me that I shouldn't always rely on my emotions, that it's better to think a decision through before regretting it. I'm a bit naive at times and always believe in the good in people even if they have ulterior motives. It's probably because I grew up in a small town where people always help each other out.", he elaborated in more detail.

"Yes, I imagine it would be a great change from a small town to a big city like this."

"You also give me the confidence to believe in myself and my skills as a photographer.

Like when you praised my pictures. It gives me motivation and courage. And it means much more when it comes from you, especially because photos are evil and vicious for you. That's why I asked you if you'd be ok with me sending you pictures."

Ash noticed how a little smile spread across his face. "When seeing your photos, I realized that pictures in themselves aren't evil, that it depends on the person looking through the camera. You have a unique and fascinating way to see the world. Your photos often focus on little details that most people would overlook. And there's a brilliance and warmth to your photos that makes them special and exceptionally captivating. I'm sure you'll become a great photographer one day."

Eiji's cheeks flushed red with embarrassment before he beamed at him with that radiant smile that made his eyes sparkle in a golden-brown. "Thank you, Ash!"

Ash secretly hoped that he'd see Eiji's smile more often now. For someone like him who was surrounded by darkness, his genuine smile looked as if the sun was rising and was illuminating everything in a brighter glow . Even if it was raining outside like right now.

"I'm also here to prove to you that kindness and compassion still exist. You've given up believing in people, especially adults, because you grew up in a living hell surrounded by monsters, devils and murderers. So, you lost your faith in humanity." There it was again— Eiji's encouraging smile.

"Still, despite all of that, you have never lost your own humanity. Because there were still some good people around you. Like Nadia, Shorter and Max. You're amazing, Ash. Despite all your traumatic experiences, your kindness and care for people close to you never wavered."

"So, I'll show you that the world can be beautiful. Some people love you, Ash, care about you and worry about you. However, you are your own worst enemy. You push them away because you're convinced that you don't deserve such kindness after all the crimes you've committed."

"That's because I don't deserve it! I kill people for a living, Eiji! My hands are meant to kill. They can't heal or help people.", he stubbornly insisted. Eiji took his hands in his.

"You don't kill people. You protect people. There are always two sides to everything. A knife or a weapon can kill people but also save people. It's the same with your hands. When I broke down, your hands comforted and saved me.", Eiji insisted while his eyes pierced into his.

"But - "

"Ash, I can feel your emotions, ok? So I know best that you're kind, smart and strong. Yet, at the same time, I also feel your utter sadness, self-loathing and loneliness. And I'm here to help you see that you've done nothing wrong. You were the victim here. Those monsters abusing and hurting you are to blame. Not you! Never you. You just tried to protect yourself and the people you cared for. It probably wasn't the best way, but it was the only way you could think of at such a young age. You didn't deserve any of this, Ash." Eiji moved a bit closer and placed a soft kiss on his forehead, then put an arm around his shoulder.

Eiji's huge, brown eyes reflected so much warmth and compassion that he wanted to believe him. Maybe Eiji was right..? Without thinking, his head dropped on Eiji's shoulder. It just felt right. Eiji just leaned towards him as well.

"The way you see yourself is wrong. You have just been called a monster or a devil for so long that you started to believe it's the truth. It isn't! You're not a killer, you're a survivor, maybe even a hero. And I'll keep telling you that until you believe it yourself. You're not alone anymore."

"Thank you, Eiji. I'm glad I found you. I couldn't wish for a better soulmate. Please stay by my side. It doesn't have to be forever. Just for now."

"Of course, I'll stay forever, Ash. We're both lost souls, but together we fill up each other's emptiness and the void in our hearts. We need each other, Ash. To learn from each other and grow stronger together. A bond isn't about logic. It's about our emotions, wishes, hopes and dreams. It's about our true selves and sincere emotions we don't want anyone else to see. And about sharing negative feelings, our darkest secrets, and our most terrifying fears with someone to ease the pain and heal. It's all about finding a balance of good and evil in our lives. By sharing all of that, we find a balance, a way out of the darkness, and towards happiness and a bright future. We'll never be alone because we share everything. Our hearts and souls are intertwined forever, and we share the same fate."

Ash sat up again, so he could meet his gaze. "If you put it that way, it sounds incredible. I still don't believe in fate. Or God - "

"But?", Eiji gently interrupted him, smiling knowingly. Ash returned the smile.

"But now that I understand why we're soulmates, I believe steadfast in our bond. And especially in you. Do you think it could work now?"

"Let's try again and find out. And if it doesn't, we'll keep trying.", Eiji promised him.

They intertwined their hands again, and this time, Ash took it more seriously and concentrated on their bond with a burning determination. He didn't want to disappoint Eiji again, and he was curious how the red thread looked like. He still didn't believe in stories like that, but he believed in Eiji and his words.

When he opened his eyes this time, he saw it. He stared at it with wide eyes and let go of his hand, moved his hand farther away and then closer again. The thread adapted to the movement and stretched or shortened accordingly. Ash was relieved and felt slightly guilty at the same time. He had been scared because he couldn't see it before and had even doubted their bond for a fraction of a second. So, he was glad that he saw it now. All the tension left his body, and the first real smile escaped his lips as he beamed at Eiji.

"You should smile like that more often. It looks great on you and lights up your green eyes."

Then his gaze shifted to the thread between their hands.

"If you concentrate hard enough, you can always see it. But usually, its color fades away again after a moment, and it stays invisible. But the thread is essential, Ash. It's our lifeline. If one of us is in danger, the thread will tell the other one. It can also show you a way to save your soulmate. Or lead you to him. The thread is unbreakable. It can stretch, tangle, shorten, but it will always be there to guide us. So, if the thread becomes suddenly visible or you feel some movement coming from it, listen to it. It wants to tell you something important."

Ash nodded absentmindedly, thinking about all these strange explanations that Eiji had taught him. He touched the red thread as if it would break any second. There was no way this could be real. From an academic point of view, such a thing shouldn't exist. It belonged to the world of fiction, fairy tales and myths. Even so, the thread was visible, even touchable, so that Ash couldn't deny its existence any longer.

Maybe Eiji was right, and not everything could be explained by reason. Until now, he had never really believed in such a bond. Of course, he had felt it and had thought that he had a special connection to Eiji, but he hadn't believed in all that crap about fate, soulmates and shared destinies. But now that Eiji had shown him solid proof and he had seen it with his own eyes, he finally accepted the deeper meaning behind their bond.

"Thank you, Eiji. For explaining the meaning of our bond to me. And for not giving up on me when I was confused and questioned that we're soulmates."

"It's fine, Ash. I'm glad you believe now that we're soulmates.", Eiji yawned.

Ash checked his watch. " didn't realize so much time has passed. It's already midnight. I should go. You're an early riser, right? Unlike me." He got up from the couch and looked around for his jacket, wondering where he had left it.

"No, don't go!", Eiji suddenly called out, grabbing his sleeve. Ash stared at him in bewilderment, wondering why Eiji would suddenly overreact like that.

"Sorry. Look out of the window over there. It's raining heavily, and there's a storm raging outside. How did you get here?", he asked him, a hint of worry in his voice.

"By motorcycle. Why?"

"What do you mean why? Driving a motorcycle in such a weather is suicide. Please stay here. I'm sure the weather will be better in the morning.", he suggested.

However, something didn't feel right. Eiji wasn't looking at him, and he had tensed up.

When he looked more closely, he noticed that his hand grabbing his sleeve was trembling.

He closed his eyes for a moment and concentrated on the bond. That's when he realized it. Eiji wasn't worried. He was seriously scared. With a start, he remembered what he had told him this morning.

'I'm just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night.'

Fuck. His awful memories that Eiji had seen, had probably been the reason why he was so scared. He sat down again and looked at Eiji.

"Eiji, tell me the truth. The reason why you didn't sleep last night was because you suffered from nightmares, right?"

"No, that's not - ", Eiji began, then abruptly stopped.

"Don't lie to me!", he exclaimed a bit too harshly. He took a deep breath to calm himself down before continuing. "I felt it through our bond. At first I thought it was just worry but then when diving deeper into the bond, I realized you were scared. Scared to be alone."

When Eiji didn't reply, Ash scrutinized his face. He had paled considerably and droplets of sweat were running down his face while he avoided his gaze. Ash instinctively knew he was right. He moved closer and hugged him, his arms loosely around him, in case that wasn't allowed. Yet, Eiji returned the hug, clinging to him sobbing quietly into his chest.

"You told me that a bond works both ways and that I shouldn't push you away. Then, why are you pushing me away? I know I'm bad at comfort but I want to help you, too."

Eiji visibly flinched at that, then pulled out of the hug to look into his eyes.

"You're right. I'm sorry, Ash. I do have nightmares. I should have been honest with you. I just feel so pathetic compared to you."

"I have nightmares, too. Terrifying ones. I know how that feels.", he admitted as sincerely.

"Do you want me to stay? Nightmares are less terrifying if you're not alone and feel safe."

Eiji just smiled at him and nodded, relaxing at once.

After they had cleared the table and had done the dishes, Ash borrowed one of Eiji's pajamas and they went to bed. When Eiji had switched off the light, Ash put an arm around him and pulled him closer.

'You'll sleep better if you feel my presence. Don't worry, I won't overreact. Your touch has never hurt me. It always soothed me. Maybe I can do the same for you.'

'Thank you, Ash.'

Eiji snuggled closer to him, putting his head on his chest. Ash pulled the blanket a bit higher, then pulled his arm more tightly around him. He carefully watched Eiji for a while, waiting until he was sleeping soundly. Then he drifted to a deep sleep as well.

It was the first time in months that he slept through the night without any interruptions.