Chapter 15: Stay With Me
Keith gasped, shooting upright so suddenly that his head spun. His father's voice reverberated in his head, the words 'wake up!' bouncing around repeatedly even as his dream faded.
Keith blinked the sleep out of his eyes and wiped a sheen of sweat from his face, trying to get his bearings. Being awake so suddenly was disorienting. He was groggy, hotter than he'd ever been in his life, and bone achingly tired… why on earth was he awake?
He desperately tried to decipher the sense of inexplicable dread and panic that he was feeling. What had happened in his dream? His father had been there, but he couldn't remember much of it except-
Oh. Right. He'd told his dad about Lance. Lance, who was in love with Allura. Lance, who Keith loved.
Lance, who'd broken his heart earlier.
Keith tried to slow his breathing, lying back down slowly. A horrible, sinking feeling settled in his stomach as he remembered his and the Red Paladin's conversation. That was the reason he felt so terrible. He willed his heart to slow as he closed his eyes once more. He was so tired. Why had he even woken up so suddenly?
…
Wait.
Keith's eyes shot open again, sitting up just as quickly as he had a few seconds ago.
"The McClain kid's in trouble."
Something clicked suddenly, the reason for his abrupt awakening and panic sliding into place as he vaguely remembered the tail end of his conversation with his father.
His head whipped around, searching for Lance's sleeping form in the dark. He knew he shouldn't be this panicked, knew it was irrational. Lance was fine, surely. Just because Keith had had a weird dream, that didn't mean-
He scrambled to stand anyways. The fire was still going, albeit low and slow. Keith picked his way across the circle, noticing his mother's absence. She was undoubtedly doing a perimeter check, he knew she'd be back in a matter of minutes…
As he made his way to Lance, the hair on his arms raised, despite the jungle's heat. A shiver ran through him as some sort of sixth sense told him that something was indeed very wrong.
As he made his way to Lance, the hair on his arms raised, despite the jungle's heat. A shiver ran through him as some sort of sixth sense told him that something was indeed very wrong.
"Lance?" Keith whispered through the darkness.
After the foreboding end of his dream, it came as no surprise that the other boy did not respond.
Keith was at Lance's side the instant his Galra hearing processed Lance's uneven breathing. The boy's breath was ragged, and he wheezed as if there was something lodged in his windpipe. Keith yelled for his mother, caution toward the creatures of the night forgotten in his panic and urgency.
As he waited for Krolia, Keith could do little more than crouch at Lance's side and watch, shaking hands fluttering uselessly over the other boy's body. Foam spurted from the Red Paladin's mouth as his body seized violently, and Keith knew that Lance was probably suffocating on the frothy saliva. Keith swore, loudly, and then yelled Lance's name as he held the boy's face in his hands, utterly terrified into inaction. He desperately tried to recall his first aid training from the Garrison, wracking his brain for what to do in the event of a seizure. For a moment, Keith merely held the other boy, willing him to stop shaking so that he could turn him onto his side.
The shaking finally stopped, and Lance immediately began to make horrid wheezing noises. He couldn't breathe. Keith's hands shook violently as he turned the Red Paladin onto his side, saliva and foam immediately dribbling out of his mouth and into his helmet. His breathing was still labored, but he at least seemed to be getting more air into his lungs now.
"KEITH! What happened?!" came a panicked voice.
His mother was suddenly by his side, hands flying to Lance's body as she examined him.
"I- I don't know!" Keith yelled, hysterical with panic. "I just woke up, a-and he was convulsing, and I don't think he can breathe properly-"
"Move," his mother growled, nearly shoving Keith out of the way as she continued her thorough examination. Keith kneeled next to her and sagged helplessly.
"Mom," he asked in a small voice, feeling broken. "What- what's happening to him?"
She growled, a noise of pure animalistic frustration, slamming her fists into the jungle floor and creating two indents in the ground. "I don't know." She waved her arms at Lance, agitated. "I can't properly examine him while his suit is on, and we can't take it off, for obvious- wait, Keith. Med kit, now!" she demanded, turning to him and thrusting a gesturing hand to the white and blue case.
Keith scrambled to their supplies, practically throwing himself to the other side of their campsite. His mother remained steadfast by Lance's side, murmuring soothing words as she waited for Keith. He doubted that Lance could hear her, but he was deeply moved by his mother's compassion all the same.
As soon as Keith passed her the med kit, Krolia's hands darted deftly around the box, wasting no time in finding what she needed: a syringe containing a neon green liquid that glowed slightly in the dark. She had removed Lance's chest plate as Keith retrieved the kit, leaving only the black flight suit exposed. The Black Paladin watched in horror as his mother plunged the thick needle through the suit's material, straight into Lance's chest over his heart. Lance and Keith both yelled; Lance out of pain, and Keith out of utter shock.
Krolia's hands shook as she drained the contents of the syringe into the Red Paladin's chest.
"Mom!" Keith yelped, his voice breaking as it shot up an octave. "What the f-"
"Lance is suffering from a reaction to something." Krolia spoke quickly, her normally composed tone cracking around the edges. Keith's stomach turned. He'd never heard his mother sound so scared. "I don't know what it is," she continued, "But my best guess is that his body is most likely going into shock, maybe from a toxin overload that it can't handle."
Keith took a shuddering breath. "And that stuff you just injected him with-"
"It's an Altean serum extracted from the jaywaii flower, native to Altea. We're lucky that a few doses of the serum were stored in the Lions, otherwise he might already be-" she cut herself off, squeezing her eyes shut as she clasped Lance's hand in her own and cleared her throat. "To put it bluntly, I suspect Lance doesn't have very long."
"WHAT?!" Keith practically shrieked. The world around him felt like it was spinning, and he swayed dangerously, lowering his palms to the floor in an effort to steady himself. "But why-"
"The jaywaii serum is a suppressant, Keith. We don't know what Lance is reacting to, but if it's a toxin, the serum should help to slow the toxin's spread and to suppress its effects, at least for a little while. It'll keep him out of pain for a little bit, and now that you unclogged his airway, he's also no longer in danger of suffocating." She was still inspecting Lance, turning him over as she hurriedly examined his body. "The serum was supposed to buy me time to figure out what's wrong with him, so that I can get him an actual antidote, but I can't find anything- DURZAK!" Keith flinched as she swore, recognizing the Galran equivalent of 'quiznak.' His mother never swore like that.
She frantically moved down to Lance's legs, scanning for any maladies on the limbs. "Help me, Keith. Look for anything I might have missed. I'm looking for punctures in his suit, bite marks that could indicate that something pierced through. Remove his armor; look for tears in the flight suit."
Keith nodded, hurrying to remove all the armor from Lance's upper body. Lance lay unconscious on his back now, his breathing shallow and his eyebrows clenched in pain.
Keith's desperation turned to panic by the second as his search continued to yield no results. Lance's flight suit was in perfect condition. His mother seemed to be having just as little luck, judging by her angry hisses. "Come on," she snarled. "What did you do to yourself, you stupid human-" she trailed off into a long string of what Keith could only guess were Galran insults.
Keith was on the verge of breaking down and giving in to tears when he saw it.
He'd pushed himself onto his hands and knees to crawl over to his mother, and was just about to do so when something caught his eye. Keith squinted at a large swollen lump underneath Lance's jawbone, roughly the size of a quarter and half hidden by Lance's helmet. He almost cackled in triumph - he would never even have seen it if it weren't for his awkward angle.
He wasted no time in tugging Krolia over, watching her keenly as she tilted Lance's head up to inspect the lump. Her eyes widened suddenly, a look of sheer terror filling her face that had Keith's previously triumphant mood sink back down into utter dread.
"No. Lance- NO!"
"Mom?! What is it?" Keith asked, the tears he'd tried so hard to suppress finally breaking through. "What's going on? What's happening to him?" Keith asked, much more aggressively than he'd intended. He couldn't help himself. Panic was clouding his mind, rendering him unable to even think clearly, let alone remain calm.
"Give him to me," she commanded in a low voice. Keith instantly obliged, backing away slightly as Krolia shifted Lance into her lap, curling her fingers around the base of his helmet. "Don't panic, okay? I have to take this off to properly deal with the wound. I can explain while I treat him, but you have to trust me."
Keith nodded, wiping his eyes on his face as he watched his mother. She took a deep breath before slowly lifting the helmet off of Lance's head. Keith held his breath as he watched, praying that the toxic air wouldn't instantly kill the other boy. To his surprise, nothing happened as the helmet released with a small hiss. As Krolia sterilized her knife with the materials from the med kit, she began to explain, speaking quickly.
"It's okay to expose Lance to the air now because the toxin in his system is, ironically, an antidote to the poisonous fumes on Murichlora. He was bitten by a bug native to this planet called the Biting Vishprem. Most Murichloran residents are immune to their toxin. The bug is nearly microscopic in size, which allows it to burrow into the skin of other organisms. That explains how one was able to crawl underneath Lance's helmet. Once under the skin, they grow rapidly in size, feeding on the host's blood and ejecting a toxin as they grow. The bigger the bug gets, the more toxin its body generates, and the more it releases. The higher the dosage of toxin, the more lethal it is. I can't measure how much toxin is currently in Lance's system, but judging by the size of this vishprem, I'd say that it's been in his body for at least an hour. Not enough toxin that he's already dead, but definitely enough that he will die soon if we don't stop the bug from secreting toxin. I'm not sure exactly how much is in his system. He could die within the hour, or within the minute. It's anyone's guess."
Keith was going to be sick. "So how do we get it-"
His question was answered as Krolia, now done cleaning her knife, brought it down in a swift motion under Lance's jaw. Keith yelped as the swollen skin exploded into a bloody mess, spattering Lance's blood onto Keith's face. Krolia hunched over the incision, and Keith had to look away as she grunted with effort, trying to pry something out of Lance.
Keith stared at the ground, scrubbing at his face and willing himself not to throw up.
"Got it!" Krolia crowed. Keith turned to see his mother pinching a fat, round bug with at least a dozen squirming legs between her fingers. The thing was bright pink, and glowed slightly in the dark.
Keith almost puked for the second time that day. "That… that was underneath his skin?!"
"Yes," Krolia muttered, darkly. She spat something at the bug in Galran before snarling and crushing it in her fist, luminescent pink goo oozing out from between her fingers.
"That's for hurting my Lance," she hissed through gritted teeth. She locked eyes with Keith, who still felt sick to his stomach. His mother jerked her head towards Lance. "Patch him up, quickly. I'm putting the remains of this abomination into a sample container for Coran to look at later."
Keith hurried forward, hands flying to Lance's face as Krolia thrust the med kit to him. They'd practiced first aid on the space whale, but never had Keith's hands shook so hard.
He gritted his teeth and pushed through his panic, his fear. He could do this. For Lance.
He made quick work of sterilizing and patching up the wound, mumbling apologies to Lance everytime one of his touches elicited a twitch of pain from the unconscious boy.
After a second of silence, Krolia spoke as they both worked. "Keith," she started. She sounded almost hesitant, and Keith braced himself for more bad news. "The Altean serum should be wearing off soon, and I must warn you about the nature of the vishprem's bite before that happens."
Keith couldn't bring himself to do more than nod, jaw clenched tight as he concentrated on cleaning Lance's wound.
"When the serum wears of, Lance will be in the worst pain of his life. The amount of pain he experiences is of course relative to how much toxin is in his system, but even now that the bug is gone, the pain will worsen the longer Lance goes without an antidote. It will get worse and worse and reach a peak before he dies. The toxin will make every muscle feel as if it's on fire. He will most likely be coming in and out of consciousness due to the level of pain. I just- I needed to warn you about that." From the corner of his eye, Keith saw her glance at him before returning to her task. Her voice was quieter when she spoke again. "I know how much you care for him, and I know it- it will be… painful for you to witness. Until we get him to a cure, he will edge closer and closer to death. He hasn't quite reached the critical stage yet, so at least we still have time."
Keith blanched, stilling as he turned to look at his mother. "The critical stage? How do we know he's not already critical?"
Krolia met his eyes, screwing the lid of the sample container shut. "He'd be screaming. You'd know."
Keith ground his teeth together, hands shaking violently as they removed a bandage from the medical kit. "And the cure?"
Krolia didn't respond for a couple seconds, and Keith almost had to ask the question again.
She finally spoke, hesitation clear in her voice. "On some other planets, the vishprem is referred to as the Lover's Death. It- this will seem ridiculous, but… Keith, the cure is a kiss from whoever the victim loves the most. Romantically."
Keith's hands froze on top of the bandage he had just placed under Lance's jaw.
No. No.
She continued, oblivious to Keith's entire world dissolving around him. "We're lucky you're right here," she mumbled, busying herself with clearing their medical supplies. "Otherwise we may not have had time to save him. All you have to do is kiss him - on the lips, I believe - and he'll be-"
"Is this some kind of joke?" he interrupted, finally able to get his voice working. He met his mother's eyes with a hostile glare. In the recesses of his mind, he knew that this wasn't fair; that she didn't know. But at the present moment, he couldn't bring himself to care.
Krolia recoiled at the venom in his tone and shook her head, confusion clouding her expression. "I'm afraid it's not, Keith," she quietly responded. "But I thought- isn't- isn't it you?"
Once more, Keith couldn't help the animalistic sound that left his mouth, although this one was somewhere between a sob and a snarl. "Lance is in love with Allura!" he spat, angrily.
Krolia's eyes went wide with shock. "What!?" She slowly reached out a hand towards him. "Oh, Keith… but you two are so… I really thought-"
"Yeah, well, you thought wrong." Keith snapped, flinching away from her. He stood up sharply and dusted himself off, blinking back a fresh set of tears. "We need to get him to Allura," he commanded, avoiding his mother's gaze. "Now, Krolia."
A whimper caused Keith to turn back to his mother, who sat with her hands covering her mouth, head shaking as tears spilled from her eyes. "Keith, sweetheart, I'm so sorry, I- by the time we get him back to Allura… it's a miracle that he's even stayed alive this long! B-by all accounts he should already be dead-"
Keith cut his mother off with another snarl, this one reminding him of a sound that a lion might make. His mother flinched away from him so hard that she almost fell.
"I'll take him. I'm faster than you are, right? I'll scent Shiro, and track him to the Lions. I'll get Lance to Allura on time."
"Keith-"
"I won't fail, Krolia."
"Keith-" Krolia started, but was abruptly cut off by an agonized scream that raised the hairs on Keith's arms. The Black Paladin immediately rushed to Lance's side, dropping to his knees and cradling the other boy's head to his chest. Lance convulsed in pain, breathing hard as the effects of the Altean serum wore off. He clutched at the ground for purchase, desperate for his pain to cease. "Keith!" he gasped, somehow managing to speak through the pain.
Keith tried desperately not to cry as he offered Lance a hand, which was squeezed in response. "Hey, Sharpshooter," the half-Galra replied wetly, giving a weak smile. "I'm here, bud."
Lance's response was a tormented moan, and his grip on Keith's hand tightened painfully. "Keith, please!" he sobbed, tears streaming down his face. "It hurts so b-bad, please make it s-stop, please-" He threw his head back, yelling as his body succumbed to pain once more. Keith ran a hand through Lance's hair, trying his best to somehow soothe the other boy.
"Keith? Listen, I n-need Allura. G-get me to… All- A- 'Lura. I- Allura! Please." Another spasm of pain wracked Lance's body, and this time he nearly broke Keith's hand with the force of his squeeze. He screamed Allura's name once more before his eyes rolled to the back of his head. Panic consumed Keith as Lance collapsed, unconscious, back into his arms.
The Black Paladin turned back to his mother, wide eyed and desperate. When he spoke, the sheer determination in his voice was replaced with fear. Keith knew that if there was even the slightest chance that getting Lance to Allura could save the paladin's life…
"Mom," he uttered weakly, voice cracking. "I can't - I can't lose him. I have to do this. I know you said it's probably too late but… I have to try."
She nodded somberly at him, resolute understanding written on her face. "Take him," she said, voice firm and low, "Take him and run. If you wait for me, he'll die. If you stop, he'll die." Keith heaved Lance into his arms, holding the other boy bridal style. "I'm serious, Keith," Krolia continued, "No matter how much he screams, you have to keep going. He will die soon, if not on the way. I'll bring his helmet and our supplies. Just go."
Keith nodded sharply, hugging Lance closer to himself. "Thank you, mom."
Krolia crossed over to him, removing the Black Paladin bayard from his belt. "Here. You think you can track Shiro with this? The scent is probably very faint, but-"
"But I don't have a choice," Keith finished, moving so that the bayard was directly below his nose. He inhaled once, eyebrows furrowing in frustration as he smelled his own scent, and Kosmo's…
"This is like the spakerlin yesterday, but a little harder. You have to smell past your own scent, as overwhelming as it probably is. Smell past it to Shiro - I know you haven't scented him yet, but he's your brother, so you'll know his smell as soon as-"
"I got it!" Keith yelled, as he narrowed in on a scent that wasn't his or Kosmo's. Shiro. It had to be. The scent filled his nose and brain, all at once new and familiar, so familiar that Keith was certain it belonged to his brother.
"I'll get you home," Keith whispered to the unconscious boy in his arms. He straightened up, eyes locking once again with his mother, who stepped forward. She cupped Lance's cheek in a hand, bringing her head down over his and briefly touching her forehead to his. "I hope that we meet again, Lance McClain," she whispered, voice breaking.
Keith's breath hitched in his throat as emotions surged in him. Fighting back another round of tears, he avoided eye contact with his mother, pivoting on the spot as he sniffed the air.
There.
It was faint, but Keith could detect a scent that matched the one on his bayard. He faced his body towards it, breathing in Shiro's scent on the air.
This time, there was no joy that came with the hunt, no hyperactive excitement. Keith was fully sober, lucid; aware that there was no room for distraction, no room to get off task. Instead, a steely determination unlike anything he'd ever felt before filled his being. With each inhale, all other smells fell away, until it was just Shiro's and Lance's overwhelming his senses. His focus narrowed, tunneling in on the only thing that currently mattered. Saving Lance. The tunnel vision enveloped Keith, and without so much as a goodbye to his mother, he was running.
...
Another branch whipped past Keith as he ran, the surrounding jungle a blur due to his inhuman pace. He barely had time to register how fast he was going, footfalls light and agile as his heightened reflexes allowed him to flawlessly navigate the uneven jungle floor. He didn't have time to register how long he'd been running - in reality it was probably only a few minutes, but it felt like hours at this point, because Lance needed Allura stat, and this stupid jungle was so big-
Keith gritted his teeth, continuing to plow through the foliage and trying not to stop when Lance screamed in agony. He couldn't even bring himself to look down at the boy in his arms; promised himself he wouldn't. He knew if he did, he wouldn't be able to continue. The more he let his mind wander to Lance, the more he panicked. The more he panicked, the more distracted he got, and the slower he ran. He was so tempted to stop; to lay the other paladin down and cradle him in his arms, to reassure the other boy that he'd be okay.
But Keith wasn't the one who could take away Lance's pain.
Keith's only job was to get Lance to Allura. Allura, whom Lance loved. Allura, who may or may not return his affection. That single thought was almost enough to send Keith tripping through the underbrush. He realized he should have asked his mother several more questions about the effects of the poison coursing through Lance's body; about the specific details of the cure he needed. It occurred to him that Coran would know what to do, but it didn't stop Keith from worrying that he didn't know. What would happen to Lance if Allura didn't return his feelings? Would her kiss work? Did the romantic feelings have to travel both ways? And if it did work, how embarrassed would Lance be, knowing that his feelings were out there in the open, not to be returned?
The Black Paladin distantly wondered if the Princess had ever cared for Lance in that way at all. She had rejected all his flirtation, rolled her eyes at his attempts at flattery with his not-so-subtle advances. A nasty, ugly part of Keith took solace in the fact that Allura had never shown the slightest romantic interest in Lance, and that any such interest would seem completely bizarre. Keith knew this would break Lance's heart, which was the last thing he wanted, but… some selfish part of the Black Paladin hoped desperately that Allura would not return the boy's affections. He knew it was wrong; knew that, as Lance's friend, his best friend, it was his duty to hope for the Red Paladin's happiness. And he did. He wanted Lance to be happy, so badly, he just…
He wanted Lance to be happy with him.
He wanted Allura to reject Lance; for Lance to shrug it off and move on. He wanted to get close to Lance, to woo him more and more until the other boy could do nothing else but fall, just as Keith had been falling for years…
And yet… There was something about Lance that was just irresistible.
Despite Keith's constant crush on the other boy, he and Lance had had a rocky relationship long before they'd become the paladins of Voltron. Keith couldn't even remember how it had started, but he knew that at one point, back when they barely knew one another, Lance had taken it upon himself to hate Keith with every fiber of his being. Because Keith had been so… what was the word that Lance had used earlier? Unapproachable. Right. He'd still been so angry then, cold, temperamental; hardly interested in connecting with anyone other than Shiro and Adam.
Yet despite their rough start, despite the fact that Lance seemed determined that Keith was his enemy… Keith had fallen. He hadn't been able to help himself, or to ignore the evidence that Lance McClain wasn't always what he seemed. He couldn't ignore the multiple times he had accidentally stumbled upon precious, secret moments in Lance's life, even back in their Garrison days. Moments that had given Keith a peek through Lance's carefully constructed mask and a glimpse at his true nature.
The time he'd spied Lance consoling a crying Hunk in the hallway, voice soft and so unbelievably kind that Keith remembered clutching a hand to his heart, unable to leave the scene even after he'd ducked back behind the corner. Or the time that Lance's sister had been promoted, rendering Lance unfocused and practically vibrating from excitement the entire day, utterly useless in their team exercises. The time that Lance and Keith had found themselves together in the mailroom, and Lance had opened a package from his family, a tiny sob escaping him before he tore out of the room. Then, in their training exercise the morning after that Lance had shown up disheveled, eyes red and puffy and looking like he hadn't had a wink of sleep.
The very first time Keith had ever seen Lance laugh, he was absolutely captivated. The boy leaning forward to clutch at a cadet's arm as his eyes wrinkled, a grin tearing across his face, as his gasps of laughter brightened the entire room; and somewhere at the back of Keith's mind, he'd for the first time in his life entertained the possibility of love at first sight…
Yeah. As hard as he'd tried, Keith had never been able to resist Lance. The way Keith saw it, falling in love with him had just been… inevitable. As simple and easy and necessary as breathing.
So why wouldn't Allura feel the same way? Even though she had hardly been able to stand him at first, Lance would pull her in just like he'd done with Keith, giving her no other choice but to fall, deeper and deeper and deeper until… Until the inevitable happened. The unlikely. Just as it had with Keith.
She would fall. She would be the receiver of that gorgeous smile, the one that made his eyes crinkle with mirth. She would get to make him laugh, make him happy; hold him, kiss him, tell him how much she loves him -
Because who in the universe could resist Lance McClain? Who would want to, once they got to know the real Lance? Not the pompous, jealous, arrogant facade that he used to cover his insecurities and to shield his real self from the outside world; no, the Lance with the shy smiles, stupid jokes, tentative but comforting touches, honest advice, and boundless compassion. The Lance who took everything in stride, who tried his best to make his teammates feel loved and appreciated and happy; who would nervously watch his friends' faces after he'd made a joke - who wouldn't be satisfied until they'd cracked a smile.
The Lance who would do anything for his team, who was so determined to never let them down, and to protect that he spent significantly more time than most of his teammates in the training room. The Lance who would die for his team without a second's hesitation. The Lance who, light years away from his home, would cry just because he missed the rain.
There was no arguing that the boy was magnetic. There was no way Allura wouldn't want him.
Keith hiccuped back a sob, stumbling slightly over his own two feet as he ran. He was distantly becoming aware of how exhausted he was. Although he knew he hadn't really been running very long, it felt like he'd run a marathon. He was still drained from fighting the spakern, and was now asking a very human body to push itself to insanely inhuman speeds, backed by only two hours of sleep. At the pace he was going, the handful of miles they had walked in the jungle was going to feel like fifty…
Lance's body stiffened as it was once more overcome with pain. He arched his back and let out another tormented cry. The Black Paladin swore loudly through his tears, grinding his teeth together and attempting to pick up the pace. Somewhere in the back of his brain, he registered that Lance's breaths sounded far more ragged than they had before, that the beating of his heart was considerably more faint. Keith was also beginning to be overwhelmed by a sickly smell emanating off of Lance. It had been growing in potency as they ran, corrupting and overwhelming Lance's natural scent to the point where it was nearly unrecognizable. Keith shuddered as he inhaled, struggling to keep Shiro's scent over the stink that penetrated his nostrils. Rationally, he knew what it was even though his mother wasn't around to tell him. Every instinct screamed at him, every piece of evidence pointed towards it.
The rapidly fading and inconsistent heartbeat.
The stench of death.
He needed to go faster.
Keith yelled, exhaustion and pain ripping through him as he forced himself to go faster, watching the speed indicator in his helmet increase slightly to reach the Altean equivalent of about 40 miles an hour. He knew he should be terrified that he was able to run this fast, knew that at any minute the limitations of his human body would give in to exhaustion and he wouldn't be able to run any further. But he couldn't stop, wouldn't rest. He could barely even let himself acknowledge how tired he was. Lance was nearly dead, and he knew that if he stopped now, he wouldn't have a prayer of starting again.
Keith grunted as the sour odor of death assaulted his senses on his next inhale. Gagging, but unable to resist, he made the mistake of looking down at Lance, and cried out in alarm.
Lance looked like exactly like a corpse. His skin was pale and grey, stretched too tightly across gaunt features. His cheeks and eyes were dark and sunken in, revealing the defined bone structure beneath his flesh.
And worst of all, that stench. When Keith looked at Lance, the rot was suddenly overwhelming, completely taking over his brain, his sense of smell, blocking all other scents from his brain…
Until suddenly, Keith lost Shiro completely.
He yelled in agonized frustration, feeling another one of his body's physical features change in response to his emotional outburst. He had no idea what it was, and vaguely wondered if, in addition to his Galra eyes and teeth, he now also had pointed ears, or purple skin… The thought was so unimportant in his current predicament that Keith barely even registered it, unable to even think through sheer panic and grief. Everything was Lance, Lance was everything-
Keith was forced to rip his gaze away from the boy in his arms. He wanted to stop so badly; to just make the most of what Keith knew in his heart were Lance's last moments. He had slowed to a jog at this point, whipping around wildly as he desperately tried to sniff out his brother. Nothing… nothing, just Lance, death, Lance, death. Lance. Death.
Keith stopped all together, a tormented cry ripping out of him as he dropped to his knees, tears streaming down his face. He couldn't do this; couldn't run any more. He didn't have the strength; he wasn't as strong as everyone thought he was. He was going to let Lance down, let the universe down. It would be his fault. He would be responsible for killing the person he was in love with. It was all his fault. Not only was he completely and pathetically unable to get Lance help, but the other boy wouldn't even be in this position if it weren't for Keith. If it weren't for Keith suggesting that Lance accompany their mission, selfishly desiring to keep the Cuban boy close to him. If it weren't for Keith's stupid Galra genes and his stupid helmet and the stupid spakerlin and Keith's stupid crush…
He gingerly lowered Lance to the ground, wiping hair away from the other boy's face as he whispered apology after apology, choking the words out through hysterical tears. He cupped Lance's cheek as the unconscious boy wheezed for air. Keith then noticed that his own hands looked strange. His eyes widened as he abruptly brought his hands towards his face to examine his nails, elongated and sharp, and looking for all the world like… No.
He was staring at claws.
Keith let out a terrified sob, crossing his arms and tucking his hands underneath his armpits as he rocked back and forth on his knees.
I guess that's what changed when I yelled.
He was pathetic. Here he was, a blubbering mess, so terrified of his own body that he couldn't even use it to comfort Lance as he took his dying breaths. Of course, if Lance was awake, if he was fine, he'd do exactly what he'd done yesterday; make Keith feel okay, make everything okay…
"Please don't leave me," Keith whispered through his tears, still rocking back and forth. "Please. I need you. We all need you. But I- I need you. Please don't leave, Lance. Stay with me."
The Red Paladin could only respond with weak wheezes as air squeezed through his constricted throat.
Keith almost wanted to laugh at the sick irony of his words. He was acting so unbelievably selfish. Here Lance was, dying, and Keith was thinking about himself. He wanted to throw up. He was pathetic. Weak. He was no Galran soldier… he was no paladin of Voltron.
He was just a scared little boy, a long, long way from home.
Lance's breath hitched in his throat, causing a wheeze that sounded like sawing wood. Keith let loose another whimper, shifting on his knees to get as close as he could to the other boy. The Red Paladin chose that moment to let out a sharp cry, bringing him back to a semi-conscious state. His back once again arched in pain as he clawed desperately at the ground. Grateful for the closeness, Keith's hands shot out to grab Lance's, his claws immediately forgotten. They just didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered except Lance.
They sat like that for a few seconds while Keith waited for this pain spell to subside, as Lance squeezed the life out of Keith's hands, writhing in agony. Keith's heart hammered painfully in his ribcage as he waited for the boy to fall back into senselessness. He wasn't sure how much longer he could take the screaming.
Keith whispered consoling sentiments and apologies as Lance yelled, Allura's name occasionally slipping out into the night air. For a minute, he screamed his throat raw, before his eyes finally rolled back into his head, his body going limp as he slipped back into unconsciousness. Keith let go of the hand closest to him instead opting to run it soothingly through Lance's hair; gingerly running his fingers across his cheek, careful not to accidentally hurt the human boy with his sharp claws. Turning his hand backwards, he stroked it gently down Lance's cheek.
"Lance," he choked out, unsure how he was even managing to speak as his throat constricted with excruciating sobs. "I am so sorry. I'm SO sorry Lance. I'm sorry I couldn't save you, I'm sorry I was too weak, I'm not - I'm not the guy you think I am." Keith's head sagged as he continued, unable to continue to look at Lance's face. "I'm not as strong as you think. I'm selfish, and a coward, and I can't even save you because I'm so pathetic. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry; I can't do this, I can't run any further, I can't get you to Allura, I just can't- I'm SO SORRY. I'm so sorry I never told you how I feel, I should have told you a long time ago, I should have - I should never have left you, Lance. I'm sorry I never told you that I love you-"
Keith would have babbled on forever, if he hadn't reached a point where he quite literally was unable to formulate words. All he could do was cry, and cry, and cry-
"Keith?"
The Black Paladin's head snapped up to meet the source of the weak voice. Lance's eyes were open and nearly unrecognizable, their normally stunning blue faded to a clouded greyish white. They searched Keith's face as Lance's eyebrows slowly furrowed, as if the boy was confused. The Red Paladin shook with effort as he tried to raise his head slightly to see Keith better.
"Lance! Hey, t-take it easy-" Keith gasped, voice wet. He quickly placed his hand underneath Lance's head, raising it gently and cradling the other paladin in his arms. With a sick twist in his gut, Keith was reminded of the first bonding moment the two of them had ever had.
Ha, ha. Good one, universe.
Lance spoke again, voice tattered from screaming. "Keith… why… why are you crying?" he croaked, eyebrows knitted together in concern. The only response that Keith was capable of was a humorless laugh and a shake of his head as tears flowed down his face with renewed vigor. Lance weakly reached a hand out, cupping Keith's cheek and ever so gently trying to thumb away his tears.
"Hey! Keith… hey, querido, please don't cry. I don't… I don't like seeing you cry."
Keith's hand shot up, clamping over Lance's and securing it in place. He could barely hear Lance's heartbeat now, which had been getting progressively weaker and slower, and had now almost faded completely.
"I'm so sorry, Lance. This is - this is all my fault."
The corners of Lance's mouth lifted into one of those soft smiles that only ever seemed to be for Keith. He rubbed a gentle thumb along Keith's cheekbone, the intimacy behind the touch causing Keith to shudder.
"You've done nothing wrong, Keith," Lance whispered, voice incredibly gentle.
Keith squeezed his eyes shut as a sob overwhelmed him.
"Hey… shhhh. It's okay. It's all gonna be okay. You're gonna be… o…"
Lance's head went limp in Keith's arms.
"...Lance?!" Keith exclaimed, panic beginning to consume him. He shook the other boy slightly. "LANCE?!" The boy lay limply in his arms. Breath no longer moved past his lips and his heartbeat ceased. "No, no no no nononono NO! W-wait, no, stay with me! Please don't go! Lance, please come back, please come back, don't go, please!"
No response. Keith set the boy down flat on the jungle floor with shaking hands. No. He couldn't be… he couldn't be… be…
Keith's own heart froze in his chest as he listened desperately for Lance's heartbeat.
Seconds ticked by. Five seconds… fifteen... thirty… forty… a minute…
Nothing.
"NO!" Keith growled. He gave Lance's body a slight, desperate shake. This couldn't be happening. "You can't be gone, not now! Please, Lance, you can't-" he cut himself off, snarling as he thrust his head down, ear pressed against Lance's chest. Listening. Waiting.
"Don't you die on me, McClain!" Keith refused the possibility, as he faced what his instincts were screaming at him.
He recalled his CPR training, panic propelling him into action. He positioned Lance's head, whispering, "Lance please…" Sitting up, he placed his hands in the middle of Lance's chest and began. "Please come back, come back. Come back, Lance." With each word, he pumped his palms down on Lance's chest, making sure to keep steady beat and count. After thirty palpitations, he put his head near Lance's mouth...
Nothing.
Again! He did as before...
Still nothing.
Keith whimpered pathetically, body shaking with tears. He slumped forward, clutching the front of Lance's suit as he touched their foreheads together. He squeezed his eyes shut.
"I'm s-so sorry. This was all m-my f-fault. Please… please! Please come back." Keith picked his head up, forcing his eyes open. He took in Lance's sallow complexion, lifeless face.
It wasn't fair.
It wasn't fair to see Lance, who was always so full of life, completely drained of it.
It wasn't fair that Lance had sacrificed so much for the universe, and this was the thanks he got. Dying. Alone with Keith, on some alien planet.
It wasn't fair that Lance, who so desperately had wanted to go home, to see his family again, would never be able to. He would never be able to hug his mother, his siblings. Would never be able to see the ocean, or feel the rain. It wasn't fair that Lance would never get to be with Allura, that he'd never get to experience being in love. It wasn't fair that Lance would never know how much Keith loved him.
I want to tell you. It's too late, but… I just wanna say it to you. Once. Out loud.
I'm sorry I never told you while you were alive.
Keith smoothed a shaking hand over Lance's hairline, sweeping his bangs to the side and exposing his forehead. He desperately wished that Lance was just asleep, or that this was some sort of elaborate prank. He just wanted Lance back.
He gave the boy's hair a couple more strokes before holding both sides of his face and pressing their foreheads together once more. "I love you, Lance," he whispered, lips close enough that they brushed Lance's as he spoke. "I will always love you."
Keith pulled away again, long enough to place a tender kiss against Lance's forehead.
It felt like goodbye.
Keith was hit with a fresh wave of tears, and he slumped over Lance's middle, sobbing into his chest. As he cried, he was struck again by the lack of a heartbeat, and-
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait, waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait.
What. Is. THAT?
There had been no heartbeat. He'd been certain that there had been no heartbeat, at least for a couple minutes. So what was -
No. It couldn't have been. Keith was imagining things.
And yet…
THERE! There it was again!
Keith's head shot off of Lance's chest, an incredulous and wet laugh ripping out of him. He shouldn't be laughing, he knew that wasn't any sort of sane reaction to be having, but -
Lance's heart had stopped. It had definitely stopped. He had died.
But it was beating again. It was undeniably -
Keith placed his head against Lance's chest once more, listening, double checking.
Yeah. It was undeniably a heartbeat. Irregular and weak as it was.
Keith laughed again, raising his head as he called Lance's name, desperately trying to wake him, to keep Lance with him this time, to prevent him from leaving again. He knew that he should be bothered by why this miraculous event had occurred, but at that particular moment… he couldn't bring himself to care. He'd leave the science to Coran and Allura. After he brought Lance back to the others.
Lance stirred with a pained moan.
Keith practically threw himself over the other boy, picking Lance's shoulders off the ground in a hug. "Lance! You're okay! Thank quiznak; you were- I thought you were dead!" he yelled, relief coursing through his body.
"Allura?"
Keith blinked in surprise, placing Lance gingerly back on the ground. The Red Paladin's face was contorted in pain, blinking groggy and unfocused eyes.
Keith scooped up Lance's hands into his own. "No, Lance, it's me." He gave Lance a smile, relief leaving him in a wet chuckle. "It's Keith."
Lance's pale eyes snapped to Keith's face with an intensity so sudden that Keith shuddered under his gaze. For half a second, Keith thought the other boy was going to address him again; that he was somehow going to break through the side effect from the love bug's poison as he had done minutes previously. Keith's heart sank as he continued to search Lance's eyes, registering the lack of recognition currently being directed at Keith. It was like… like Lance didn't even know who he was.
"Allura," he spoke through gritted teeth. "Allura, please! I need Allura!" Another spasm of pain wracked Lance's body on the last word, causing his tormented yells to resume.
As Keith watched Lance writhe against the ground, the Black Paladin felt all previous defeat drain from his body, replaced instead with electricity. Somehow, Lance was alive. He had died, and now he was alive again! Alive, and in immeasurable pain. For how much longer, Keith had no idea. He had no idea how Lance had come back, or why. He had no idea if the next time Lance's heart stopped beating, it would be the last.
The only thing that Keith knew for certain was that he'd been given a second chance.
Determination coursed through his body as he gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, propelling his mind outwards as he sought out his Lion's consciousness. He had never tried to psychically connect with Black over this great a distance before; he hadn't been her paladin for long enough-
Come on, Black. I need you. Please. Give me your strength. Help me save him.
His eyes shot open as their consciousnesses collided, Black's rage for her hurt team member curling into Keith's mind with unbridled force. Keith felt a strength that was not his own consume him, coursing like fire through his bones as his Lion imbued him with its quintessence; saturated him with its very life force.
Keith gasped at the new power pulsing through his veins as he and Black became one.
With his newfound energy, he bent, once again scooping Lance's frail body into his arms. Black roared in Keith's mind, as if summoning her paladin to her.
I'm coming, Black. We'll save him. Guide me to you.
Keith set his jaw and ran.