Chapter 4

Christian

I'm awake before her, but there's no way I'm getting up. These moments are all too rare. She's sleeping soundly half on top of me, one arm draped lazily across me, her head nestled into my shoulder. Normally, she returns to her own apartment on weekdays, even though we always spend the evening together, but just this once, for her birthday, she agreed to stay.

After we agreed that I would join them on their camping trip, Ana touched base with her parents. It turns out that the place they've chosen is over four hours away, so I somehow convinced her – and me – to take a half-day of work today. I'll take her in and pick her up, and then we'll grab our things and be off. Another set of luxuries.

I wish it wasn't a special occasion that brought all this on. I wish it was just normal.

It almost feels like she tries to keep her life separate from mine. Compared to when we were friends, the time we spend together is not all that different. Yes, the physical side of things and how we pass the time together is different, but we're not… a unit. We're very much Ana and Christian. We see each other often, and it's wonderful, but we don't share a life.

Is that normal?

I know we haven't been together that long, but it doesn't matter. I want her in every facet of my life. I'm just not sure that she feels the same. She and that piece of shit who had her before barely seemed to see each other, living separately, even after they were together five years. Maybe this isn't the best comparison, but is that how she prefers it? Is that how we'll be in five years?

No. Not once her office moves.

I feel myself relax slightly. At least I have that. Besides, for whatever fucked-up, idiotic reason, he wasn't interested in seeing more of her. That's the only kind of relationship she knows. Once she gets comfortable with the fact that I am, it'll be different. It has to be.

Unless she sees through me…

She makes a soft little sighing sound and starts to stir, squeezing me to her a little tighter. I chuckle, pushing these unpleasant thoughts aside, moving my body so that I'm hovering over her, so she'll see me when she opens her eyes. What matters now is this moment with this sweet creature next to me. She smiles, blinking them open. "Good morning, beautiful," I tell her, brushing her hair out of her face.

She smiles wider, her sleepy eyes crinkling a bit. "Good morning, you, beautiful."

"Twenty-four years of you, my love. Happy birthday."

"The happiest, so far." She reaches up and gently pulls my face down, finding no resistance from me. Even her morning breath is sweet to me. She parts her legs, moaning softly when my morning wood nudges against her through our underwear. "Can we just stay here?"

I rub against her again. "Can I consider this a call-off?"

She giggles. "Would it count?"

"For you, it would. I'd rather no one else go straight to me, but you, always."

"I have to get ready," she whines.

"Mmm," I breathe, trailing kisses down her chest, stopping at a nipple. "Just give me five minutes."

"Five minutes?"

"Five minutes for my birthday girl. I need to give her her first present before we part ways until later."

"First?"

"Yes." I continue the journey with my mouth down to her panty line, hooking my thumbs into the sides and slipping them down. "This is what I want you to think about until I see you again." I feel myself get harder at the sound of her breathy moans when my tongue laps at her most sensitive spot. "Can you do that for me, baby?"

"Yes. Yes, easily," she pants. "Oh, God, Christian."

I smile against her skin and continue my first course of breakfast. Five minutes… maybe ten.

"Sir, I picked up the supplies you require. Is there anywhere else we need to stop before collecting her?"

"No. And you can have the weekend off. Maybe you can see your daughter?" The truth is, there's no way I'm bringing an extra man for protection in front of Ray Steele, not when there's no outside threat. He needs to see that I can and would protect Ana without anyone else's help. If I'm there to keep an eye on her, security is optional. Plus, realistically, maybe I'm the optional one. Her father would never let anything happen to her.

He's uncharacteristically quiet for a moment. "Thank you, sir. Will you be driving yourself, then?"

"Yes. Have the bags in the R8."

"Yes, sir."

Thank God the drive to Ana's office isn't long. Well, it's too long, because I'd rather it were an elevator ride away, but let's get through this weekend first. While we're at a light, I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket, and I'm surprised to see that it's Grace. "Mother. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Oh, you silly boy. I'd call you every day if I were allowed. But I'm calling now because Mia told me that it's Ana's birthday?"

"Yes, it is."

"How wonderful! Are you two doing anything special?"

"We're about to leave to go camping with her parents for the weekend."

"You mean tonight?" She sounds confused.

"I mean in about an hour."

She's quiet for a beat too long. "You're leaving work early?"

"Yes."

"And you're going with Ana and her parents?"

"I'm certain that I already said all of that, Mom."

"I'm sorry, sweetie, it's just… my goodness, this girl really is rocking your world, isn't she?" I stifle a laugh. She has no idea. "I mean, she really is different?"

"She's different. She's everything." I think I catch a gasp on the other end. "I have to go, Mom, I'm about to pick her up from work."

"Wait! Honey, would you ask her to come to dinner on Sunday? Both of you. And her parents, too, if they can make it. I'd love to meet them."

Now it's my turn to pause. "I don't know about that."

"What? Why not?"

Because the last time we were at one of your events, all of this almost didn't happen. "Everything is still new. I don't want to overwhelm her."

"Can't you just ask her? We just want to see more of both of you, darling, and it would be a lovely step to get to know her family, too. I've never known you to be happy like this."

"I'll think about it," I sigh.

"Well, let me know what you decide."

"I will." The car comes to a stop now, and I see that we're here. "I have to go. I'm at her office."

"Okay, sweetie. Have a good time this weekend. And please consider joining us on Sunday."

"Goodbye, Mom." I'm pretty sure that I'll be itching for alone time with Ana by the end of this weekend. You can only spend so much time behaving for the parents, but sure, I'll think about it.

I text Ana that I'm outside, and within about thirty seconds, she's hurrying out the door carrying a gift bag and a balloon. I again try not to laugh as she wrestles to get the balloon into the car. "From your coworkers?" I ask.

"Just from one Maya."

"What did she get you?"

"A little humidifier for my apartment. It gets so dry in the winter in there, and I keep forgetting to buy one." I'm hit with an uncomfortable sensation at the inference that she'll still have her own apartment come winter. Will I last that long with us being apart all the time? "Where first? My place?"

"For what?"

"Well, I have to pack."

"I had everything we'll need already picked up for us. It's all waiting at Escala."

"Oh… wow. I can't imagine how much that cost. It took me years to build up my supply of outdoorsy things."

"It's your birthday, Ana." And I would have done it anyway. It's nothing to me.

"My first present was mind-blowing enough, really," she says in a low voice.

This. This is why it would be fine by me to see less of the parents. "And I love to spoil you."

She smiles after a moment. "Okay. Thank you. It's my birthday, I know, I just don't want you to feel like you have to… I don't know, support me."

I choose my words carefully. "I don't feel like I have to, but would it be so wrong if I wanted to?"

Surprise registers on her face, and she stares at me for a moment. "Christian, I don't need that."

"I know you don't. But I love you. That means I want to do whatever I can to make life as easy and enjoyable as possible for you. I happen to have a lot of resources to do that. So, you can't expect me to not use them on the person that means the most to me."

Her eyes look a bit glassy, tears surfacing. "I love you. I try not to be difficult about it, but really, it feels like everything I want, I have. Mainly, you."

"You'll always have that." I pause to kiss her deeply, somewhat buttering her up for what I'm about to say next. "But don't expect some things to help us survive in the wild to be the last of what I have in store for you."

"I—"

She starts to protest, but I cut her off with another kiss. "Birthday, Ana." And every other day, the excuse will be 'love of my life.'

She laughs ruefully. "Okay. Fine. I surrender for today."

"Good." I kiss her once more just as we park at Escala. I lead her by the hand to the elevator. "Let's you and I change while Taylor and Mrs. Jones get our things ready."

"Is Taylor driving?"

"No. I am. Taylor has the weekend off."

"Oh. I didn't know he got time off."

"Well, I'm starting to appreciate my time off of work, so I'm just now realizing that other people probably do, too."

We get changed out of our work attire, Mrs. Jones makes a fuss over Ana and wishes her a happy birthday while she packs car snacks, and then we're ready to be off. Ana's jaw practically unhinges when we get to the car. "This is what you drive?"

"One of the things I drive." My favorite one.

"This is… oh, baby."

"You like it?"

"It's got style."

"Then let's take it for a four-and-a-half-hour spin."

"Top down?" she asks, an undercurrent of excitement in her voice.

I laugh. "Sure, baby."

She plugs the directions in the GPS and then is relatively quiet until we get out of Seattle. I think being out with me in the city might still make her feel on edge. The paparazzi had their eyes on us when we weren't together, and now that we are, it's only gotten worse. Once we're out of city limits, I try to engage her in conversation. "So, what kind of amenities can we expect at this campground?" I know she said something about no indoor plumbing, but I'm at least hoping for drinking water.

She glances at me with a strange look. "Um… none. It's dispersed camping. My dad doesn't like to camp with other people." She quickly continues when she sees the look on my face. "They're really good at it, don't worry. They have everything figured out. Water purifiers, portable toilets, down sleeping bags, and Marty is great at cooking over a fire. It's not like Naked and Afraid."

"Not like what?"

"You've never seen that show?"

"No." But naked and afraid is what I'll be if Ray catches us in the tent after hours.

"Well, anyway, I promise it won't be so bad. And if you hate it, I don't mind it if you'd rather go back to Seattle early. I'd understand."

"Like fucking hell that's happening."

She giggles at my expletives. "Well then… don't worry. We'll get through it, you and me."

The things you do for love.

We finally emerge from the trees to the sound of high-pitched squealing. Marty hurls herself at Ana, engulfs her in a hug, and starts jumping up and down. "There's my birthday girl!" She steps back and looks at her, then looks at me over her shoulder. "And Christian! I'm so glad you could make it. It's great to see you again. Gosh, let me take those bags from you."

We had to hike for about half an hour to make it to these coordinates. Cell phone reception is a distant memory, and I'm not sure my R8 will be there when we get back, but at the moment, I'm just ready to fucking sit.

Ray stands up from his crouched position setting up one of the tents and eyes the luggage in her hands. "That's an awfully big bag you're carrying, Annie."

"Not really. Christian took the heaviest things," she says dismissively.

"I tried to take everything, but she wasn't having it," I subtly defend myself.

Marty pats my shoulder. "Of course you did. But that's Ana for you."

Ray walks forward and gives Ana a hug, rubbing her back paternally. "Happy birthday, honey. Can't believe you're almost in your mid-twenties now. Jeez, I'm getting old."

"You're still dancing, Dad."

He finally gives me a look in the eyes. "Christian. Nice to see you again, son."

"You as well, sir."

He nods and turns away again. The last time we met, he told me to call him Ray. That was noticeably absent… "You ever been camping before?"

"It's been a few years, but I used to go with my dad and my brother growing up."

He grunts in acknowledgement. "Then maybe you can help your girlfriend set a tent up before it gets dark."

I turn my head and see Ana on the ground, already starting to pitch the tent. Fuck. Do I remember how to pitch a tent? That was usually Elliot's job, as punishment for whatever dumb shit he said in the car on the way there. Well, I'm about to fucking figure it out. I hurry over to her. "Ana, let me do that."

She smiles at me. "I can do it. You must be tired from all those bags."

"Ana, have you ever set one up alone? I thought Caleb always took the lead," Marty comments. Her tone is innocent enough, but I flinch at the mention of that name.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Ana, I'm helping."

"Okay, if you want."

It turns out that setting up a tent is harder than I remember. I'm starting to feel like I should have mouthed off more as a kid so I wouldn't look like such a pansy in front of my girlfriend's family now. My side keeps collapsing, and then I get my finger caught between two of the pieces snapping together and it starts bleeding. Just fucking perfect.

"Hey! First aid kit is over there, help yourself," Marty calls as she jogs over. I quickly clean and bandage it so I can get back over there and help, but by the time I'm done, Marty has already finished. "There! Done," she sighs after giving it a shake to make sure it's secure. "I'm surprised you still want to spend your birthday like this."

Ana shrugs. "I like traditions." She catches my eye and walks over to me, wrapping her arms around me. "How's your finger?"

"It's fine," I mutter. My bleeding pride, however, hasn't clotted yet.

She picks up my hand and kisses the injured finger. "I'm sorry. I got the ornery one."

"This isn't how you're used to sleeping these days, huh, Christian?" Ray asks as he stokes the fire. "Pretty far from the penthouse now."

"Hey, remember Ana's twenty-first birthday? Caleb showed up before any of us, got the whole campsite set up, and had an ice bucket of champagne waiting for her for her first official drink. It can be fancy around here!" Marty says.

Great. So, not only can Ana's ex set up an entire campsite by himself while I can't even win a fight with a tent, he's also spent at least one birthday with her that I didn't get to and orchestrated a decent surprise for it. Is it possible that I'm so shit at this boyfriend thing that even Caleb had it figured out better than me?

"Did you bring a gun, son? There's bears out here from time to time."

Could he try asking a question that I have the right answer to? "I don't own any guns."

"Oh. Well, then you can take one of ours for your tent. You can shoot, right?"

"No. I've never been into guns." And as much as I loathe them, I almost wish I'd had my dad take me to the shooting range somewhere along the line.

"I can use it if we need it," Ana says quickly, ducking out of my arms to go retrieve the weapon from Ray.

Ray eyes me for a moment, then follows Ana back towards his tent. "Caleb always had a shotgun…" I hear him say.

"Well, he doesn't," Ana replies with exasperation. I'm getting the feeling that Caleb has a long history with her parents… and not all of it was bad.

And suddenly, I'm feeling like shit.

I sit on a log and wrack my brain for some way to redeem myself this evening, but I'm coming up empty. Marty and Ana start working on dinner, and I can't cook. Ray is setting up some other equipment that I couldn't even name, and after the tent incident, I'm too chickenshit to ask if he wants help. So, I guess I'll just let Ana take care of everything and shoot any wild animals that threaten us while I find some more ways to lose her father's respect. Sounds like a fucking plan.

Dinner is some freeze-dried meal in a packet that you add boiling water to. Is it good? Not really, but it's edible, and I'm not about to complain. Ana joins me on my makeshift seat and catches up with her parents. Marty tries to include me in the conversation, but her father simply sits and eats, only addressing her or his girlfriend when he speaks. I'm not sure when I fell out of favor, but I clearly did.

"Is it about bedtime? It's been a long day," Ana yawns.

"Not yet. Have you forgotten what day it is?" Marty scolds. She holds up one finger and then runs behind her tent. I hear the sound of a cooler opening and then she comes back around carrying a small cake. "There's a new bakery that I was dying to try, and I thought, no time like the present!" Ana smiles and my mood lifts a bit as we sing 'Happy Birthday' to her. "Make a wish, sweetheart."

She nods and closes her eyes for a moment, then opens them with a peaceful smile, blowing out the candles. I wonder what she wished for. I feel my spirits sink again. Why the fuck didn't I think of bringing a cake? Ana smuggled cake into the fucking nuthouse for me once. I couldn't figure out a fucking cooler?

We eat dessert and then Marty yawns exaggeratedly. "Ray, I'm tired. Shall we?"

"Sure," he grunts. "Ana?"

"I'm going to sleep in Christian's tent."

He sighs. "Well, someone has to shoot. Night, all. Happy birthday, Annie."

"Thanks, Dad. Goodnight."

He makes his way to the tent, but Marty hangs back a minute. "Don't pay any attention to him. He's just a crochety old man. See you kids in the morning? There's a nice hike up to some waterfalls and hidden little meadows that I thought might be nice."

"Sounds great. Night, Marty."

"Goodnight, sweetie. Love you to the moon…"

"And to Saturn," Ana answers with a smile.

She smiles an eye-crinkling smile and then turns to me. "Night, Christian. Keep her warm tonight… but not too warm, because her dad isn't deaf yet. Understand?"

Ana rolls her eyes and I gulp. "Goodnight, Marty." I'd like to keep my balls attached to my body for tonight.

As soon as Marty zips the tent closed, Ana turns to me. "Okay. What's happening?"

"What do you mean?"

"I can tell that you're not okay. Is this really not your thing? You really didn't have to come, Christian—"

"Ana," I cut her off. "I was always going to come. I don't care what the hell we do, if it's with you, I'm there. I just wish I could remember how to pitch a fucking tent or that I had thought bring a cake or some goddamn champagne like even fucking Caleb could. I mean, that bastard can set it up by himself, and I—"

Now she cuts me off. "That's what this is about? That stupid comment from Marty?"

I get up and start pacing by the fire. "I've never been a boyfriend, Ana. I'm sorry. Sometimes shit that seems obvious just slips my mind. I'm just trying to think of everything, so then some things, I don't think of. This is you and me and we're finally having one of your birthdays together, and that should be blowing your twenty-first birthday with him out of the fucking water, but I just—"

"Christian!" She gets up and tugs on both of my wrists, signaling for me to stop. "Christian. On my twenty-first birthday, Caleb had just spent two weeks ignoring all my calls and texts and going to parties with God knows who instead. When I texted him that I wanted it to be over if he couldn't even be bothered to talk to me, he was suddenly all gung-ho about coming camping for my birthday, and then he did that little public display of affection for my parents' sake. He was in damage control mode. He knew I was about to leave him, and, I don't know, losing his longtime girlfriend because he'd rather get high would be bad for his image. It always came back to that. In front of my parents, he always turned up the boyfriend meter to the max, no matter what was really going on with us. When he and I went to sleep that night, I cried while he slept next to me because I wondered when it was all going to disappear again." She reaches up and strokes both of my cheeks. "This is already blowing that night out of the water, because I'm with the right person now. The one who'll actually drive there and sing in the car with me instead of showing up out of the blue because he has to. I'm going to fall asleep with you and wake up in love, just like always. It's you that gives me that. Not him. He never could. Don't be scared. You're easily the best boyfriend I've ever had."

She looks up at me with crystal clear, sincere eyes. I take in a ragged breath and pull her against me, cradling her against my chest. "I love you, Ana. I just want to give you the world. Be patient with me while I figure out how, please, baby."

"I'll wait as long as you need me to, but I have the world on a string as long as I have you. Believe me. I love you. No cake, champagne, or extravagance required." Overwhelmed with emotion, I kiss her somewhat roughly, then realize the setting, and how close that the man who raised her and his gun are. I throw her over my shoulder, getting a loud laugh out of her, and haul us both into our tent, zipping it shut behind us. "So… remember my present this morning?"

My cock twitches. "Vividly." Delicious.

"Well… I've been thinking about it all day. Could I have another five minutes now?"

I groan. "Baby, are you trying to kill me? I am not touching you while your dad is twenty feet away with a gun."

She pouts adorably as she strips off her hiking clothes, giving me an excellent show of her ass as she reaches into her bag for her pajamas. She slips them on and shivers, crawling into the sleeping bag. "Fine. But can we cuddle?"

"I have one more thing for you before we do that. Not the present you mentioned… you'll have to wait until we get home for that… but a present." She sits up, her interest piqued, and suddenly I'm nervous. I pull the small box out from the bottom of my overnight bag where I've had it stashed, handing it to her.

She tears the paper off of it and lifts the lid, her eyes widening as soon as she does. "Christian," she breathes. "It's… I mean, it's… I've never seen anything so perfect."

I swallow. "It's a Blue Nile diamond. They're also called grey diamonds. I wanted you to always be able to remember that you have my heart, everywhere you go."

Her eyes fill with tears and she hands me the box. "Help me?"

I place the heart-shaped diamond on its platinum chain around her neck, kissing the back of it as I do, then I tug my shirt off and quickly change into pajamas pants, sliding in next to her. "Now, can we cuddle? Is that really a question?" When it comes to holding Ana, I'm a cuddling machine. I pull her against my chest and she nestles into me, almost like she's trying to burrow.

She kisses my bare chest, right over my heart. "Goodnight, Christian. Your heart is the best birthday gift I'll ever get. I love you."

"I love you more. Oh, and, baby?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't tell anyone that I sing in the car. That's just for you."

She giggles. "Cross my heart."

And as she drifts off to sleep, the wheels in my head start turning. Before, she got nothing and had to live with it. Now… maybe she doesn't need more, but I'm sure as hell going to try to bring it to her anyway.

A/N: Thoughts? More camping next time. xo