The month of November had its ups and downs. The first week, Severus felt like he was making progress when Gewnog led the quidditch team to an easy victory against the Gryffindors in the first match of the season, and the whole House celebrated in the common room together. Even muggleborn Bryce Jones, which was a rare occurrence. Then he took his trip to Privet Drive and felt even better. Then things took a downturn when half the seventh year Slytherins ended up in the hospital wing due to an illicit bottle of wine laced with a long-acting soporific. He suspected Augusta, assuming this was indeed the vigilantism it looked like targeting the more refractory blood purist bullies. But he had no proof. It could also be Gwenog quietly taking Augusta's assignment for her own purposes, or it could be Erika with shear, wrathful protectiveness. Or anyone with a vendetta. On the bright side, by the time Poppy finally discharged Vivian a week later, the first years no longer seemed to be afraid of their own house mates. He assumed no one told them exactly why their enemies were in the hospital wing; they were all too cute and doe-eyed to endorse or conceal a plot like this.

Poison was not what he had in mind when he told Augusta to get the House in order, but he couldn't argue with the results. The Sorting Hat could, and did, very insistently. It strongly disapproved Severus' lack of concern in definitively identifying and punishing the poisoner. For his part, Severus truly didn't care if Augusta or one of the other prefects had orchestrated the poisoning. No lasting harm was done, and quite a lot of potential harm was averted. He was only interested in excluding candidates who might do such a thing again and more recklessly: namely Gryffindors and younger Slytherin students with real grudges against the victims. Fortunately, he found no reason to suspect Bryce nor any of the usual suspects.

At least someone had plotted something more grandiose than usual with enough subtlety to be interesting. He told the disgruntled parents their children should not have felt themselves entitled to drink on school premises, even if they were of age.

Helpful as the Hat had been in Severus' talks with his junior students, Slytherins and non-Slytherins alike, it was also stressful to have the constant reminder of his impossible quest to reform Slytherin House literally weighing down his head every day and tactlessly pointing out all the things he could be doing better. It was with relief that he handed over the Hat back to Albus to wear for the truncated month of December. He would take the Hat and all its associations back for another month after Christmas. Severus did not need the dratted thing muttering in his ear all through the end-of-fall-term tests. For the last two weeks of term, he just wanted to focus on academics. He was determined that no student would miss the potions theory questions this year, except perhaps the very stupidest ones in the first and second year classes.

December was overall calmer than November in Slytherin House. He was called to deal with fewer incidents, and Slytherin racked up enough House points to move into second place. Whether this was down to studiousness, festive cheer, Augusta, Gwenog, or some other prospective "Heir of Slytherin," he did not know.

It might even have been his own mood: for the first time he could remember, he was actually looking forward to the Christmas holidays. He was visiting Surrey on the very last day of term, and in his anticipation, he found himself ignoring certain annoying-but-not-strictly-harmful infractions like running in the corridors more than usual. The day came. The students left, and so did Severus. He met the Dursleys at their house and gave an excited Harry and Dudley firm hugs. Then the five of them drove to the local primary school for their Christmas play.

Severus remembered disliking the Christmas play when he was in primary school with Lily, but he allowed that was mostly because he had been an unpopular, unhappy, and bullied child. Being forced to perform on stage, where his poverty and/or facial bruises would be on full display, was not a comfortable position. Being forced to celebrate a holiday that mostly caused his family increased stress and abuse felt unfair. The fact that he spent every play as one of the undistinguished children's choir was not lost on the more outgoing and talented students, who found in his reservations and discomfort further ammunition for their derision. The one year he actually looked forward to the school Christmas play was, of course, the year Lily was selected to play Mary. She had been so happy, and her joy had rubbed off on him, just a little bit.

Harry and Dudley of course were too young to put on an impressive performance, but they were ecstatic about it nonetheless. Their enthusiasm, as told by Petunia in the Protean journal, is what had made Severus look forward to the whole thing, despite his misgivings. Their day school had joined forces with the local primary school. While the older children had the speaking roles and would no doubt carry the choir, the young children would sing some carols, and some would dress up as animals for the Nativity scene. Harry and Dudley were to be wooly lambs. They showed Severus the costumes Petunia had made them with pride, handmade out of old pillowcases and scrunched up tissue paper.

They relinquished the boys to the care of their teacher and found seats near the middle of the small auditorium. Severus smothered a grin at the loud whispers behind the garish red stage curtain. It took a good ten minutes for the teachers to corral all the children into place. Someone played a few introductory chords on a tinny piano, and the curtain rose to the strains of Silent Night.

The singing was... pretty terrible. Some of the children were quite good and could carry the tender melody beautifully, but they were drowned out by the chorus of too loud, too nasal, and off-key singers. It got worse with Joy to the World, as the faster rhythm fell apart too. The mediocrity of the performance somehow lessened any tension Severus still felt connected to his own childhood memories of these things. The comedy of errors was too humorous to elicit his old resentment.

Severus made the terrible mistake of glancing towards Vernon who was sitting between him and Petunia; Vernon's nose was already turning a dangerous purple. Also, he was squinting more than usual. Petunia caught Severus looking, and her eyes narrowed dangerously, silently warning him not to laugh. Vernon must have noticed; his flush deepened and mustache twitched.

Severus carefully turned his attention back towards the stage and adopted an expression of perfect neutrality. He maintained it all through O Little Town of Bethlehem, Away in a Manger, and Jingle Bells. He lost it a little bit when all the younger children, Harry and Dudley included, blithely forgot the lyrics to the latter verses of The Twelve Days of Christmas: "Ten la-la-la-la, Nine la-la-la-la, Eight la-la-la-la, Seven la-la-la-la, Six la-la-la-la, FIIIIIVE GOLDEN RIIIIIIINGS!"

After that was a little interlude for the Nativity play, which consisted of a boy and girl of about nine reading off bland, vaguely archaic-sounding narration without sufficient inflection to lend the scene any gravity or mystery of any kind. ("A long time ago, a young woman named Mary lived in a village called Nazareth. One day, an angel of the Lord appeared unto her.") Other school-age children alternately mimed riding around the Middle East and speaking unconvincing dialogue. It was boring as tending a batch of stewing flobberworms until they finally got to the part about the shepherds, at which point Harry, Dudley and their friend Pierce crawled onto stage, trailing behind a handful of older children wearing bathrobes, carrying sticks, and with towels tied onto their heads. Harry's and Dudley's sheep costumes were clearly superior to Pierce's, which was really just a pillow case and a fuzzy hat. Stars of the show, really.

The play finished with all the characters assembled in the stable, and a smaller, more talented choir of just older students singing What Child is This. Severus joined in the polite applause, then got up and volunteered to fetch Harry and Dudley.

Technically, there was still more after an intermission, but Harry's and Dudley's participation was no longer required, and one look at Vernon confirmed neither of them were suited to sitting through a screechy youth orchestra performance. "Compliments only," Petunia said warningly, eyes darting between Severus and her husband.

"I wouldn't dream otherwise after such a stirring performance," Severus said drily. "Such powerful witness of divine mystery. I may be moved to convert."

"And I'm a hippopotamus," Vernon chuckled. "Go on, Sev. We'll meet you by the door."

Severus nodded and elbowed his way down the aisle to where the youngest children stood clustered around their teacher, a young, brown-haired woman who was perhaps overly effusive in her praise of her students' efforts.

Harry glimpsed Severus first and tugged Dudley towards the edge of the group. "Uncle Sev! Did you see us?"

"I did. The most magnificent sheep I have ever seen. For a moment there, I thought you had both, miraculously, mastered the art of ovine transformation. And all of you sang with the dulcet tones of seraphim. I was quite transported."

Harry giggled and turned back to his teacher. "My Uncle Sev knows the biggest words."

"Biggest words in the whole world!" Dudley agreed.

"I see that. He must be very smart." The young woman smiled and met his eyes briefly. She thrust out one hand for him to shake but at the same time looked away to snatch the collar of one of her other wandering charges with her other hand. "Alice Rutherford. Pleasure to meet the famous Uncle Sev. Harry talks a lot about you."

"Joseph Evans. The pleasure is mine," he said. "I won't keep you, though. You appear quite busy."

"They're a handful. Andrew, you stay right next to me until your Mum gets here, got it? I won't tell you again."

Severus grinned. "Happy Christmas, Miss Jones. Harry, Dudley, let's go. Petunia and Vernon are waiting for us in the back." He took Harry's and Dudley's small hands in his and led them away.

"Uncle Sev, who's Sara Finn?"

"Does she sing Christmas records?"

"What, not who. 'Seraphim' is the plural of 'seraph.' Think of seraphim like six-winged angels." There was much debate in the wizarding historical community as to whether seraphim and the other bizarre angelic figures of the Judaic tradition were real, and if so, what exactly they were, since no such creature or being existed in modern times. The leading candidate was a stray thunderbird, although what one of those would have been doing on the wrong continent twenty-six hundred years ago was anyone's guess. The next best option was an extinct relative of Greek Sirens called an Apkallu native to Assyria, with the body of a human but head and too many wings of an eagle.

"Cool. Wuz ovine?"

"The Latin word for 'relating to sheep.'"

"Wuz Latin?"

"Latin is the language of ancient Rome which came to dominate all kinds of scholarly activity in all parts of Europe throughout the Middle Ages through right of conquest, proselytization, and gatekeeping of literacy. It remains the dominant language base of scientific jargon."

"We live in Europe!"

"Sort of."

"Wuz Rome?"

"Wuz conquest?"

"Wuz prosey... that word?"

"Wuz litter sea?"

"Wuz jargon?"

Time to be a walking dictionary. Surprisingly, Severus didn't actually mind these endless questions much, probably because Harry and Dudley were actually interested in his answers and would never question him. He took a deep breath. "Rome is a city in Italy which was the foundation of a vast empire encompassing much of the Mediterranean and Europe a long time ago, reaching all the way South and East to Egypt and all the way North and West to England at its greatest extent."

"We live in England!"

"We do. Conquest is the acquisition of someone else's property by means of war."

"Isn't that stealing?"

"Usually, yes."

"Stealing is bad."

Usually, yes. "Proselytization is the act of spreading your own passionate beliefs to a group who doesn't share them with the intent to convince them to convert to your faith or opinion."

They drew level with the Dursleys. "Sev, what on earth are you teaching them?" Vernon asked.

"Vocabulary. They asked."

"Wuz vocabary?" Dudley helpfully interjected.

"See?"

Vernon chuckled. Petunia swooped down and kissed first Dudley's and then Harry's cheeks. "You were wonderful, darlings."

"Uncle Sev said we were ovine and Sarah Finn," Harry said proudly.

Vernon cocked an eyebrow and looked at Severus questioningly. "Sheep and angels," Severus said innocently.

"Right." Vernon nodded sagely, mustache twitching.

"Let's go, boys," Petunia said bracingly. "It will be your bedtime as soon as we get home."

"Can we stay for orca straw?"

"Nope."

"Awww..." The boys followed her obediently despite their protests. Harry grabbed Severus' hand again and tugged on it. "Wuz vocabary?" he asked as soon as Severus looked down at him.

Severus smiled, then bent down to pick the child up and carry him to the car. "A person's vocabulary is how many words they know."

"You have the biggest vocabary!"

"I do. And someday, you will too. Now, let's see, literacy is the ability to read. And jargon is a special kind of vocabulary that is used in someone's job but not in common speech. Your Uncle Vernon knows a lot of managerial and engineering jargon that I don't."

"Really?"

Severus grinned deviously. "Really. Vernon, tell us all an engineering term, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, Daddy!" Dudley enthused, jumping up and down a few times.

"Honestly," Petunia muttered under her breath. "You men will be the death of me." Severus chose to believe she meant it fondly.

"Fine, fine. Let me think of a good one," Vernon said, smiling at his wife's consternation. "How about 'torque adjustment'?"

"Wuz that?"

"It's the part of a power drill that controls how much force you're using."

"See, I didn't know that," Severus told Harry. Harry smiled and wrapped his arms around Severus' neck contentedly.

"I love you, Uncle Sev."

Severus' heart constricted in his breast. He lowered his voice a little as he answered, "I love you too, Harry."

Author's note: I realize I write a *lot* about Christmas in this story, but in my defense, there's just so much opportunity for cute and/or silly things! Next update will be Thursday, not Friday. Thanks for the reviews!