All extracurricular clubs wrapped up in May before the final exam period, so Severus chose the weekend before the final quidditch match of the year to host the end-of-year dueling tournament. It was also, conveniently, the weekend after Slytherin's final quidditch match against Hufflepuff (Gwenog had led the team to a comfortable victory), and he was not above taking advantage of the schedule to ever-so-slightly disadvantage the Gryffindor quidditch team, all of whom were too competitive to pass up the dueling tournament. It was better for Slytherin if Ravenclaw secured the snitch at the final game.

The tournament would be an exhausting all-day affair, but after some conferring with the prefects, he had a plan that should work. The tournament was organized by year and open only to club members, and participation was optional. Even though only a handful of fifth years and seventh years opted to participate in the face of their upcoming exams, still close to half the student body signed up. Fortunately, Filius and Rolanda agreed to assist in moderating the tournament after he brought it up during the April staff meeting. Professor Slinkhard also offered, but Severus refused him. Mostly, he refused because he despised the man, but he came up with the reasonable-sounding excuse that since the Defense position was cursed, it would be tempting fate for Slinkhard to stand too close to a student duel so late in the year. Probably end up transfigured into a flamingo or something and have to spend the next few months at St. Mungo's. This proved the final offense in a year of passive-aggressive faculty interactions so far as Slinkhard was concerned; the Defense professor announced the next morning that he could not work in such an "unsupportive" environment and promptly resigned. Apparently, he thought hunting for a nundu in famine-stricken Ethiopia would offer better work culture. Severus thought the man's devotion to theory over practicality would lead him to disaster in the African bush, but didn't tell him that.

The day of the tournament dawned. Severus went up to breakfast early and reviewed the tournament schedule with Filius, Rolanda, and Poppy while they ate. Normally, weekend breakfasts ran a little later, but not today. Promptly at 8:30, the food vanished. Severus stood up and tapped his throat for a Sonorus charm. "Your attention. The Great Hall is booked today for the Dueling Club tournament. Participants will please assemble by year and House. Everyone else, please leave. If you desire to observe the tournament, the doors will reopen at nine, at which point you may take a seat near the wall. The approximate schedule for the day is posted in the entrance hall. Now stand up, or fall down when we vanish the benches." Quietus. All the students hastily scrambled out of their seats. The tables and benches vanished, only to reappear stacked along the edges of the hall, reforming themselves into raised bleachers. The usual dueling mats popped up out of the floor. With a little excited murmuring, the students split into two groups, half drifting to the center of the room, half filing out of the hall.

Severus was about to head down to meet the students, when Albus' cheery voice accosted him from behind. "Really, Severus, you make this sound like a government function. A little fun doesn't hurt." The words were followed by a pulse of magic, and decorations spewed all over the hall. The bleachers were now painted in the four house colors, and the Hogwarts crest was woven into every previously plain dueling rug. Multicolored streamers adorned the walls, and a new table appeared in the corner nearest the doors laden with popcorn, caramel apples, handheld flags, pompoms, party horns, and wooden hand-clappers. A few students gasped in delight.

Severus hastily waved his wand at the noisemakers before any students could reach them, transfiguring them into a pile of dirt. He turned to glare at Albus. "No, absolutely not," he said firmly.

"What about penny whistles?"

"No."

"Tambourines?"

"No."

"Maracas! Everyone likes maracas."

Severus sighed. "Fine, on the condition that we give license to duelists to aim hexes at particularly loud and disruptive members of the audience."

"What kind of hexes?"

"Any kind of hexes."

"...Done."

"I really hate you, sometimes," he hissed.

"Of course you do," Albus said with an indulgent smile. He pointed his wand at the offending table, and the pile of dirt transfigured into a large collection of brightly colored maracas.

Severus snarled at him briefly, then schooled his expression to go talk to the students. He descended from the staff dais with deliberate calm. The club members had finished organizing themselves and were waiting for him patiently, first years in front, seventh years in the back. Rolanda was efficiently pairing them off, names reordering themselves on the list floating next to her. Severus pulled up short when he noticed Chiara seemed to have attached herself to the clump of Slytherin first years rather than her own housemates, but she stopped giggling with Elizabeth once she noticed him looming behind her and rejoined the Hufflepuff contingent. He mentally shrugged.

"Everyone is here that's supposed to be, and none that aren't," Rolanda told him easily.

"Thank you, Madam Hooch. And thanks to both you and Professor Flitwick for your assistance today. Now, we shall review the rules again," he said. "The morning will consist of the sudden elimination rounds. You will be dueling your own housemates. The duel ends with first to disarm or first to land three hits. The winners of these duels will continue to compete until one representative from each year is selected from each House. Any charm, jinx, or hex is permissible in these rounds. Defensive transfiguration is allowed. Curses and transfiguration attacks are not. We will, of course, begin with the first years and progress sequentially. Competitors are not required to remain in attendance all day, however if you miss your start time, you will forfeit your match, so please consult the schedule and don't cut it too close if you step out for any reason. The afternoon session will be to disarm or disable and will follow standard Competitive Dueling rules. Non-human transfigurations will be allowed in the afternoon. Curses from the approved list will also be allowed. Each year winner will receive twenty points, second place ten points, third place five points, fourth place one point. Additional House points are at the discretion of the judges for exceptional demonstrations of dueling skill and spellwork." He smirked and lowered his voice. "Also, I have secured the Headmaster's permission for you to hex the audience should they become too disruptive, which includes both excessive noise and excessive heckling. Do not abuse that privilege."

Both Rolanda and Filius raised their eyebrows at that, but they were tactful enough not to argue with him in front of the students. He doubted many would bother going after audience members, no matter how annoying Albus' maracas got, simply because taking the time to find and hex someone in the stands would leave them open to attack. It was the thought that was important.

"As always: safety is prioritized. If an adult tells you to stop, then you stop. You are permitted to forfeit your match at any time by saying loudly and clearly, 'I yield,' after which point your opponent must stop their attacks within five seconds. If you fail to obey the staff or continue spellcasting after your opponent has yielded, you will be disqualified. Use of banned curses will also earn immediate disqualification. Madam Pomphrey will be on hand if needed. Any questions?"

A single hand shot up, belonging to the only Ravenclaw seventh year in attendance.

"Yes?"

"Sir, at the very end of the day, could you and Professor Flitwick do one last demonstration duel for us?"

Severus hesitated. He had not planned on that. Hadn't even thought about such a thing. But from the looks of hope and excitement gracing almost all the students' faces, the Ravenclaw girl was speaking for everyone. His gaze flicked to Filius... whose expression was almost identical to the students'. "If we have time... Filius, what do you think?"

"I'd be delighted! I'm sure Madam Hooch would moderate for us."

"Of course," Rolanda said instantly.

"Very well." The seventh years immediately broke out in whispers, no doubt laying bets. He chose to ignore them. "Well, then. First years, stay here. Madam Hooch will sort you lot out to your rings. Everyone else, clear the floor. Gwenog, open the doors, please. Professor Flitwick, with me."

He led Filius over to the side wall, where the Charms professor conjured two large blackboards on which to construct the elimination brackets. Even though Slytherin was the smallest House, it remained the best represented of the four, followed by Gryffindor, then Hufflepuff. The first year was the only group in which not only had everyone joined the Dueling Club, but all twenty-three had also signed up for the tournament.

Few of the Ravenclaw upper years had signed up for the tournament due to their imminent exams, and not even one Ravenclaw fifth year. They went ahead and entered the Ravenclaw seventh year name into the afternoon session. Filius sighed at the empty Ravenclaw fifth year slot before scratching it out. "I tried and I tried to get someone to sign up, Severus, but they just won't leave the library, not even Mr. Davies."

"Their loss," Severus said philosophically. Felix would be in the library by now too. Such was fifth year.

"Shall we place any restrictions on our duel this afternoon?" Filius asked.

"If you wish. I wasn't planning on using Dark curses on you, despite what the seventh years might think."

Filius chuckled. "No, I didn't imagine you were. Aim to disable, then, and anything goes other than Dark Arts?"

"Anything?"

"Even whatever potion you're thinking of," Filius confirmed happily. "I might ask Albus to lift the anti-apparition ward too, just in our ring, you know."

Severus nodded. "It would be more fun, wouldn't it?"

"It would! Oh, this is going to be good."

"Just try to leave my dignity intact," Severus drawled.

Filius chuckled. "As if you need help maintaining your dignity. I wouldn't mind losing to you, Severus."

"Nor I to you."

"Galleon says I'll win, though."

"Throw in a week of hall-monitoring duty, and you're on."

"Done."

The lists prepared, rules agreed on, and bets placed, the two of them turned and walked back to their respective dueling circles. Severus was pleased Rolanda had given him all the Slytherins, as well as three Hufflepuffs to start. Hufflepuff was the only House with an uneven number of first years. He was not entirely surprised Chiara had wormed her way into his ring. "Ms. Tonks, you are the odd one out. We'll start with Ms. Lobosca and Ms. Haywood, and then have you duel the winner."

"Yessir." Five first-years trotted out of the ring, and two took up dueling position.

"Wait a moment." He looked around to check Rolanda and Filius were both ready in their rings. He noticed almost all the staff it appeared had never left, although Minerva had acquired a pile of parchment she was clearly grading. And the stands had a respectable number of students settling in to watch. The clock showed two minutes after nine. He nodded to Rolanda and Filius to get started...

"And let the games begin!" Albus announced for him, to the cheers of the spectators. Severus rolled his eyes and scowled in the headmaster's general direction. Albus responded by lifting up a pair of red and gold maracas and shaking them at him, dancing a little in his chair. Severus' scowl deepened.

All seven first years giggled at his displeasure. Ismelda, standing closest to him, tugged on his sleeve. "Want me to hex him for being disruptive when it's my turn, Professor?" she whispered.

"What are you, a Gryffindor?" he snarked back. She giggled again, louder. He shook his head and patted her hair three times. "Encouraging accountability of authority figures is always a good thing in my book."

"Yes, Professor!"

He caught young Tonks staring at them in astonishment, and his scowl finally morphed back to a smirk. He nodded to Chiara and Penny. "Ready? Then bow to your partners. And... begin."

Penny Haywood's approach to dueling was stereotypical of those first years who had grown proficient with the disarming charm: given the option, she ran around casting Expelliarmus and pretty much nothing else. He mostly saw creative spell use amongst the first years only in the sparring matches where Expelliarmus was prohibited. Chiara was more than adept at dodging the bright red spell, as it happened. She cast a few disarming charms of her own, then switched it up.

"Verdemilly!" A cloud of green sparks erupted from her wand. Severus smiled approvingly. She was employing one of the combinations he had drilled the first and second years in. The sparks were harmless, but they were the closest thing to a shield charm a first year could cast, as simple spells with narrow fields like Expelliarmus could deflect off of them. "Fumos!" As soon as the smoke screen was up, Chiara started creeping around it in order to get the drop on Penny, who was now trying to clear the smokescreen rather ineffectually. Penny gave up just a little too early for Chiara's ploy to work, taking a deep breath and holding it before charging directly into the smoke towards where she had last seen Chiara. Chiara frowned and shouted "Flipendo!" The knockback jinx had a wider field than stinging hexes or disarming charms, and it clearly connected. Penny yelped and started coughing. Chiara kept casting the knockback jinx in the general direction of the coughing. She missed the first one, connected again, missed twice more, then landed her final spell.

"Three hits. Ms. Lobosca wins. Evanesco." The smoke cleared, revealing Penny sitting on her rear with watery eyes.

Chiara rushed to her. "Are you okay, Penny?"

"Fine. Really, I am." She coughed again. "Pretty dumb of me to run into the smoke, wasn't it? I got flustered."

"It wasn't dumb, it would have worked great if I hadn't hit you halfway through and made you breathe it in..."

"It is always a risk to put yourself in an intrinsically vulnerable position, even if you think to use it to outmaneuver your opponent," Severus corrected. "Up you get, now. If you keep coughing, go see Madam Pomphrey. Mr. Lee and Ms. Snyde, you're next."

His Slytherins were a little different from the other first years. They preferred the stinging hex over the disarming charm, their favorite ever since his little conference with them in November. It was a faster spell to cast than Expelliarmus, and they were very good with it.

"Aculeo!" both shouted. Both hexes connected, even though Merula sidestepped while casting. Barnaby had compensated with his aim, but not quite enough. While Merula's hex hit Barnaby's right thumb, Barnaby's hex hit Merula's forearm. Barnaby's right hand immediately started to swell, and he managed to switch his wand to his other hand before he dropped it. Unfortunately for him, Merula took the chance to hit his left hand with another stinging hex. Then she clutched her right arm to her chest, tears streaming down her face while she waited for Barnaby to drop his wand. It didn't take long.

"...Ms. Snyde wins. You can both stop crying and go see Madam Pomphrey. Ms. Murk and Ms. Tuttle, your turn."

This match took significantly longer. They were using a mixture of disarming charms and stinging hexes, and they both kept just missing. He was frankly rather irritated by the time they reached the four-minute mark. A match in one of the other rings finished up, probably one of the Gryffindors based on the obnoxious cheering and rattling of maracas. Just then, Ismelda subtly inclined her head. Elizabeth suddenly switched up her approach, casting first green sparks and a smokescreen, then quickly laying two lines of softening charms across the ring, effectively trapping Ismelda on her side of the ring. "Have fun aiming through that, Izzy!"

"I'll get you, Lizzy! Expelliarmus!"

"Missed! Too far left!" Actually, it was too far to the right, but Ismelda apparently took Elizabeth's word for it and corrected left with her next stinging hex. "A little more!" Elizabeth called. Another hex. His eyes narrowed, watching them both. They were no longer dueling, he decided. "Almost there..." The next hex flew wider still. "I'm not that short!" The stinging hex was more powerful this time. Rather than fizzling out, it flew straight and true over the heads of all the other students in the room and up to the staff table. Albus just managed to duck under it, though he lost his hat. Severus stifled a grin. It was a transparent ploy, but well-executed. Elizabeth launched a knockback jinx into the haze, presumably the pre-arranged signal for Ismelda to resume legitimate dueling. Still blinded by the smokescreen, Ismelda started firing off a hail of her own knockback jinxes.

"Diffindo! Diffindo!" Elizabeth rent a great split in the rug, then quietly jumped to a new position and crouched. Ismelda paused in surprise, clearly unsure where her friend was going with this, then she shrugged and continued her own assault. Not unreasonable, since Severus also had no idea yet what Elizabeth was planning. "Engorgio!" The fabric thickened and redoubled along the tear. "Wingardium Leviosa!" A large segment of the rug lifted up. Ismelda squealed and jogged away from it, continuing to cast blind jinxes through the smoke. Elizabeth followed her voice and dropped the rug on top of her. When she heard Ismelda squeal again, now muffled by the rug, she smiled. "Reparo!" Since the frayed ends of the rug were so heavily modified with engorgement charms, she ended up with a kind of lumpy bag, completely trapping Ismelda inside. It was clever. Severus had never been so proud of a first year.

Ismelda struggled inside the bag for a bit, swearing intermittently. Elizabeth patiently walked around the edge of the smokescreen, careful to hop over the parts of the rug she had previously booby trapped with softening charms. "Do you yield, Izzy?" she asked sweetly when she reached Ismelda's bag.

The bag stilled. "I yield," Ismelda grumbled.

"Match to Ms. Tuttle," Severus said. "Now hold still while I get you out of there, Ms. Murk."

The second Hufflepuff match was interesting mostly because young Nymphadora was a metamorphmagus. Chiara copied the Slytherins' stinging hex-to-the-wand hand strategy and indeed struck Nymphadora's wand hand on the first try. The difference was that while Nymphadora was clearly in pain, she used her innate ability to prevent her hand from swelling and blistering to unusability. She dodged spell after spell mostly by tripping out of their way, but her unpredictable movements actually seemed more difficult for Chiara to counter than smooth dodging might have. Chiara's downfall came when she decided to try the sparks and smokescreen trick again. Nymphadora had clearly been studying ahead and mastered the general counterspell that Filius usually taught in second year. She dispersed the sparks and hit Chiara with an Expelliarmus just as the tip of her wand had started to smoke.

The second Slytherin match was a repeat of the first. Merula won again. He tsked and sent both students back to Madam Pomphrey, then snagged the other Hufflepuff from Rolanda's ring to pair him off against Ms. Tonks.

All the first year matches wrapped up by the half hour mark, right on schedule, with Merula Snyde, Nymphadora Tonks, Thorin Abbott, and Rowan Khanna progressing to the afternoon session. There were no surprises in the second year matches either, with Kirley Duke progressing to represent Slytherin in the finals. Bill Weasley was the standout amongst the third years, making impressive use of several fifth year spells to earn his place in the finals. There was no chance in hell that Slytherin Alexis Pucey would beat him.

The fourth years caused a bit of trouble, mostly because half the audience was booing and raining verbal abuse on Yolanda Yaxley, whose father had been (correctly) accused of being a Death Eater but was acquitted on the Imperius defense. When a group of Gryffindor boys actually started chanting crude rhymes about "Death Eater spawn," Yolanda and her opponent Tegan Cadwalader joined forces by mutual assent to set upon the bullies with a flurry of bat-bogey hexes. There was a pause in the tournament as Minerva descended from the staff table to cancel the hexes and haul the offending students out by their ears to shout at them in the Entrance Hall. Once order was restored and the bullies kicked out, Tegan won the duel, as well as the next two, taking the right to represent Slytherin that afternoon.

The few fifth year matches were aggressive but efficient. Severus was quietly delighted when dark horse Quentin Diablo mowed through the other Slytherins through the strategic use of summoning charms. He rather embarrassed poor Erica by summoning her hair a minute into the match and manually snatching her wand out of her hand as she ran into him in pursuit of her own scalp. He would be up against Jane Court and Angelica Cole in the final.

The sixth year bouts were the most competitive. The students made good use of silent casting, and he was pleased to see them relying on dodging and nimble footwork more than shield spells. His favorite match to watch was Bryce's, even though it was over quite quickly. The muggleborn was paired up with Amelia Carrow, one of the snottiest purebloods of the year. The first spell out of Bryce's mouth was Alarte Ascendere, tossing a surprised Amelia all the way up to the enchanted ceiling. He cut out a large square of the rug, levitated it up to her, and charmed it into a bag to catch her just as little Elizabeth had done, all while Amelia was still twenty feet up. He made the bag impervious to flame and cutting charms, not that Severus imagined Amelia was keen to break out since it meant she would keep falling earthwards. Bryce set the bag rapidly spinning in place and called up to her to yield, which she did after calling him several rather foul names. She looked distinctly nauseated when he returned her to the ground. Alas, Peredur Burke avenged the purebloods' honor, but at least Gwenog took the final victory. He wondered whether she'd won fair and square or bought Peredur off, since she had missed two of the last three weeks of the Dueling Club in favor of quidditch. He wished her luck against Melody Perkins in the final that afternoon; the affable Hufflepuff had proved a surprisingly competent duelist over the last few months, possibly because she was the best student he had ever seen at gracefully accepting constructive feedback.

The seventh year duels were practically boring by comparison: his prefect teaching assistants won Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, and Vivian Vandamme easily beat out George Orwell before managing to disqualify herself by using a melting curse on Elijah Calmet's shoes. Elijah had only made it so far by virtue of his seeker's reflexes, and with his feet covered in bandages and numbing cream, he forfeited his place. Runners-up George and Dirk battled it out, and, to Severus' surprise, Dirk Prentiss won.

And then it was lunch. Annoyingly, Albus leaned into his contrived fair-like atmosphere. Rather than returning the House tables to their usual places for the meal, there appeared dozens of smaller tables laden with finger foods. Severus eyed the nearest mound of fried chicken legs and sighed inwardly before returning to the staff table. He bent over Albus' chair. "If one of them actually vomits this afternoon after loading up on all this grease, I'm holding you responsible."

Albus chuckled at him. "You underestimate the durability of teenaged stomachs, Severus. Good luck in your match against Filius. I have a wager with Minerva."

Severus scowled and moved away to find a sandwich that wouldn't lie in his gut like lead.

Author's note: ickle firsties are so cute. And lo, the final evidence that Severus was right at the start of the year; Ismelda really should have been in Gryffindor lol.

Probably my Slinkhard doesn't necessarily match what most people would have imagined from TOotP, even as quite the peripheral character. I've been modeling him after a college acquaintance who tended to annoy new people with his insistent magical thinking and "give peace a chance" ways that totally ignored reality half the time - smart, nice kid but failed out anyway because he wouldn't do schoolwork while focusing on activism and his endless philosophical discussions in the student lounge. Think Emmanuel Kant. A lot of four-year colleges are just not set up for neurodiverse individuals to thrive, and neither is Hogwarts (cough Hagrid cough). Our dear Severus is not yet enlightened enough to realize/care that he's being a dick to someone whose social integration problems are not their fault. Of course, Severus is correct that Slinkhard is an awful Defense teacher, and Severus is socially inept himself when he's not artificially buttering people (Death Eaters and Marge) up. Plus, it's Dumbledore's and McGonnagall's jobs to manage working problems amongst the staff, and they didn't do a thing about it; at some point, the DADA curse will become a self-fulfilling prophesy. I am aware of the irony of having Umbridge inadvertently championing any kind of diversity in the future with this tweak to Slinkhard's character.

Thanks for the reviews, continue to look for updates on Sunday.