"I think you lost some weight."
"Oh?"
Misato had her reservations about Kaji. She always had reservations about Kaji. It was a given any meeting with him would draw out awkward, ugly feelings with the way they've drawn and repelled each other like magnets. Overall though, she was rather happy to see him again after everything that happened the past couple of months. Ritsuko was her best friend, but didn't always click with her. Kaji did.
"You're in love, but it will end in tears."
"Really? And just how do you know that?"
"Because people with a mole along where tears flow are doomed to a life full of them."
Of course, she forgot a very important thing. Kaji was an insufferable prick, who became more insufferable when other women were in his line of sight. Ritsuko indulged this bad habit by allowing his arms to hug her close to him, his hand to rub over the aforementioned mole under her eye. Ritsuko was smirking the whole time, experetly playing a game meant to annoy the shit out of her.
"Is this your opening seduction move?" Ritsuko glanced at her. "I wouldn't do it. There's a mean old lady looking right at us."
It was working. Misato wasn't quite slamming her hands into the window in jealousy, but oh boy was it working. She was pissed enough without her morning beer- they ran out and Section-2 was going to have to fetch them later. She hated their display, she knew they knew this, and that was why they did it.
"Fuck you," was all Misato could say. "I don't have time for this crap."
She stormed off in a huff, ignoring the laughter from her friends. They thought they were so funny. She would tell them to kiss her ass, but Kaji would take that as an offer and she wasn't in the mood for that.
Kaji loved pissing her off, his way of teasing people. Even when they were dating, she was never quite into it as he was. The remarks made her feel like a child, something she had been trying to move past for a long time.
Funny. She was a full grown adult now, now she was desperately trying to avoid being old. Neither a child nor a crone, Misato was trapped in the malaise of being a young adult. The freedom she has now will be erased in a year's time.
She didn't want to be alone. Chances are neither did Kaji for that matter. Could she settle down with him, being as old as she was going to be? It would be easy, stable…
"But he annoys me so much." Misato spat out. "I can't live with someone like that."
She tried him twice, neither ended well. What made her think a third time was going to work out? Wishful thinking? Then again, it wasn't like she was teeming with options. Hyuuga was the only other viable candidate on the base, his incredibly obvious crush on her being cute and all, but she wasn't interested.
Nothing wrong with him exactly, Misato just wasn't into him. He was a nice man who'd probably make a good boyfriend to a girl. She wished she had someone who wouldn't push her buttons the way Kaji did.
She sighed.
"I wonder where my little Shinji-kun is… probably hanging out with Asuka."
The new intruder in their lives. She caught them in the cafeteria a couple of times, going over the instruction manual on the Angels. Shinji apparently forgot he had one and didn't bring it from the apartment. Sometimes, her boy could be an idiot.
"My idiot though." Misato giggled. "Asuka's better behaved since she's met Shinji. Maybe they can balance each other out?"
Her initial presumption was that they wouldn't, figuring their personalities matched about as well as water and oil. However, when she spied on their interactions, Misato was almost disappointed to find them getting along swimmingly. Shinji was relaxed around Asuka, smiling and snarking back at her jabs. For her part, Asuka kept her confidence but didn't condescend to him. She was as likely to give him an affection smile as she was to slap Shinji's back over a mistake.
They were a boy and a girl. Neither were going to school. A hook up was very possible under these circumstances.
Misato had reasons to oppose such a thing. As pilots, any intermingling could cause disruptions to their teamwork and ability take orders. She didn't need Shinji to suicidally charge after an Angel to protect Asuka, nor she need Asuka to do the same for him. She wanted them to stay alive.
She'd rather have her Shinji intact than leave her alone again.
The room turned red. Alarms started blaring left and right. It could only mean one thing.
"Another Angel." Misato cursed. "All hands to battle stations!"
In her estimation, the battle was a complete disaster.
The Angel- Misato knew it had a name, she didn't care- had come from the Kii peninsula. Misato ordered the Evas to attack it together. They had advantage, nothing had to be fair in war.
Despite orders, Asuka charged in first. She used her spear to cleave the Angel in half. After a moment, the Angel split in two, and they soundly beat the Evas. The military had to delay the Angel using an N2 mine, which destroyed 28% of its original body.
Utterly fucking unfair. Humans only got one chance after all, why do Angels get to try again?
Commander Ikari was away on a mission, so it was just the Sub-Commander reading Shinji and Asuka the riot act over their failure. She provided a presentation with flashy pictures and expertly worded walls of text describing just what a shitshow the operation was and how badly NERV's image had been mangled due to the pilots' collective stupidity.
The worst part for Misato wasn't knowing she'd have to sort out the paperwork after the meeting, the most hated aspect of her job. It wasn't the fact this could go into her performance review and make it harder to lead the charge against the Angels, her only goal in life.
No, the worst part was watching her Shinji and Asuka arguing about who screwed up the most.
"Your fault!" Shinji yelled. "If you hadn't gone in there like a rookie everything would have been fine!"
"I was doing fine on my own!" Asuka snarled. "I didn't need your help before and I don't need it now, Third!"
"Clearly, since you did such a great job taking the Angel!"
"Boohoo, I didn't see you doing anything to help you idiot!"
"W- Wait, you just said you didn't need my-"
"The point is you're whiny and pathetic! I don't need anyone's help!"
They arguing like… well, like children. Misato wished she had a drink to get her through this moment. No one else in the room was in the mood for their antics. Makoto tried to focus on a tablet he was holding, Aoba plugged his ears, while Maya cringed in her seat. Ritsuko patted Maya's shoulder mostly out of pity.
No one was happy.
"If you hadn't rushed in, we would have gone home safely!"
"If you hadn't been such a wimp we wouldn't have trashed NERV's reputation!"
"No no, don't pin this on me!"
"I am pinning it on you, you ape!"
"Bullcrap!"
"Total nitwit!"
"Hotheaded moron-!"
"Stupid fucking-!"
An air horn blasted through the room. Shinji and Asuka blushed, sheepishly looking back to the Sub-Commander. Mary Iscariot tapped the airhorn with an annoyed smirk.
"Glad to have your attention." Mary Iscariot. "Both of you embarrassed us in the eyes of the military and public. You will need to work together to avenge our image. This is not a request by the way. We're a quarter daycare center and a 75% Angel-killer organization. Shut up."
Just as Misato expected, Shinji backed down immediately. He grumbled in acceptance. Asuka, however, didn't take it lying down.
"I'm not going to work together with this monkey! He was completely useless to me out in the battlefield! Give me another cleaver and I can finish it off."
Shinji raised his hand at that. "What if, let's say you do that, what if… you sliced the Angel and it split into three? Maybe four, five, six? We don't have six Evas. What do you do about... that...?"
He fought not to wilt immediately against Asuka's furious glare. He was vaguely proud of himself for only turning his eyes down just a smidge to the floor.
"Better that than nothing! I don't see you coming up with ideas!"
"Sorry to say, he's got a point." Mary pointed it out. "We tried cleaving it, didn't work. We determined have two weeks to come up with a plan to kill the Angel. Any ideas?"
"I got one."
Kaji finally spoke. He marched on over to the projector, a trained grin etched on his face. Asuka swooned over this instantly.
"Olalala, Kaji comes in with a plan of his own! What a hero!"
"How odd." Shinji questioned. "Misato usually handles this sort of thing doesn't she?"
"I do." Misato frowned. "What's the meaning of this, Kaji?"
Kaji laughed at her, like he always did when she spoke too soon. She didn't like it.
"I'm not as good as you, Misa-chan. But this'll do for our purposes."
He turned on the projection again. This time, it showed a picture of Israfel's core just before Asuka tried to attack it with her weapon. Then, the picture changed to the split Angel, now wielding half a core.
"As you can see, the Angel split itself along with the core. The MAGI determined they would need to be hit at once if you want to kill it."
"Great!" Shinji blinked. "So, um, how are we going to do it?"
Kaji laughed again. Shinji did not appreciate this bit of candor.
"Now see, that's the fun part. We need two pilots to deliver a synchronized attack against the Angel. Therefore-"
He pulled out a disk, moving it from side to side.
"- We will use the song on this disk as part of a synchronized dance routine! Shinji and Asuka must use this for a proper double-sided kill."
Naturally, such an outrageous proposition caused uproar in the room. No one not the Bridge Crew, not Ritsuko, definitely not the pilots, thought it was a good idea.
"What the hell?!" Asuka yelled. "Kajiiiii, this twig couldn't keep up with me! I'm the better pilot with reflexes and training, he's just a loser!"
"Says the girl who only killed one Angel!" Shinji scoffed. "I'd rather eat glass than get help from a rookie!"
"Rookie?! You're the upstart here!"
It started another argument between the two, which the adults had to tune out. Only two of them actually realized the potential in Kaji's plan. Mary Iscariot heartily laughed and clapped her hands.
"I love it, love it, love it. Very cool. I assume you passed this through the MAGI then, Mr. Kaji?"
"Yup. 34%, not the best but it's what we got."
The other one, Misato herself, was impressed with Kaji's quick thinking. Complete synchronization, it was a great plan all things considered, one she would have come up with herself. Maybe Asuka wasn't kidding when she said Kaji could have made it as an Operations Director.
Hm, maybe she could trick him into switching jobs? Yeah, he'd do the paperwork for and she could sit around her quarters all day. She needed to check if this was a viable option…
"Not a bad idea." She downplayed to not swell up his ego. "Of course, this means we're going to need to make preparations for Shinji and Asuka to… live together for the synchronized training."
Misato hated the idea, and evidently so did Shinji and Asuka. They stopped their argument to look at her in bewilderment.
"No way! I hate you!" Asuka shook her head. "No, I'd rather eat glass than live with you!"
"Your room is too cramped for the job." Kaji had to reassure her so as to not cause another bout of arguing. "We're only doing this for two weeks, then we can split up again. Understood?"
Asuka had no answer to that. She crossed her arms and crumbled on herself.
"I hate this so much."
No one was happy with this arrangement at all. Mary Iscariot was the only one actually enjoying herself, as she played with the airhorn in her hand.
"Well, let's get this show on the road! Dance like you mean it!"
Four days passed. Ritsuko Akagi was very, very tired.
Out of pity for her best friend, she offered to help Misato with the paperwork. She wished she hadn't. The bags under her eyes were more pronounced each passing night picking up Misato's slack, with only four hours of sleep and coffee to keep her going in her pathetic, miserable state.
"You okay, senpai?"
Maya's voice raised her spirit a bit. Ritsuko gave her a trained smile.
"Not really." She told her. "Honestly, I don't think the coffee hit right. Focus on the data rather than an old maid like me."
The tech opened her mouth, only to shut it. She kept her disagreement to herself, turning back to the computer with a blush. Ritsuko smirked. Maya was a cutie pie. Easy to read, easy to push away. A better sight than Rei's face on the computer screen. She looked rather peaceful with her eyes closed, her mind and body shut off from the world.
Ritsuko was more than glad to interrupt such serenity with the press of a button.
"Alright, Rei. We finished your sync test for today. I'll see you later."
Rei was annoyed to be woken up. The closest Ritsuko would get to revenge in this lifetime.
"Roger."
Shaking her head to keep herself conscious, Ritsuko watched as the entry plug ejected from Unit 00. Rei kept the same blank stare she always did while she left the plug, her plugsuit shimmering in the LCL's liquid. She gave nothing of herself to the world. Any feelings Rei had, she reserved them for the Commander alone. It suited Ritsuko just fine. She wouldn't know what to do if Rei treated her any different from before.
A minute later, Ritsuko approached Rei outside of the lockers. She had to relay orders to her, as Gendo was away on duty.
"Hey Rei. Misato is overseeing the exercise routine for the pilots. We're going to check in on them. Commander's orders."
Rei nodded again, like she always did. The dutiful soldier ready for duty.
More than hatred, Ritsuko envied her. Rei had none of her problems, like the fear of getting old or the shroud of secrecy in her relationships. More importantly, Rei possessed the one connection she sought after. Anyone with a pair of eyes could see the Commander's undivided attention toward the young girl. Ritsuko's heart broke day by day knowing with certainty she never had a chance from the start. The only reason she hadn't completely shut down was that she found out early enough to try anything with the Commander. That, and the fact she already sold her soul to his conspiracy long ago.
She had nothing besides Gendo. In that sense, she really was no different from Rei. She hated having anything in common with that thing, even though she couldn't shake off the connection like she could anything else NERV did.
Finally, they reached Misato's quarters. Ritsuko knocked on it.
"Misaaaaato! You sleepy or are you too drunk off your ass to open for us?"
The door slid open. It was to Ritsuko's credit she kept her poker face at the rather hilarious sight in front of her.
"It's not what it looks like! It's just for training!"
Shinji and Asuka spoke in unison. They then looked at each other, their faces flushing at what they had done. Neither wanted this. Ritsuko did, because it was funny as shit.
"We know." She lightly chuckled. "Are you going to let us in?"
They did. Ritsuko noticed how the quarters were a bit of a mess. The floor had the occasional littering and spoiled juice, no doubt from Asuka and Misato's collective disregard for their roommate's efforts to clean after them.
At least the dance equipment was intact, an open mat with black and red circles with a CD player plugged into the wall. Kaji's plan was simple. The two participants would live together and copy each other's movements down to the microsecond. Eating, brushing teeth, sleeping in shared beds, anything short of showering had to be done. This way, it would make it easier for the pilots to practice their synchronized dance routine for the enemy.
"Do we really have to do this, Kaji?" Asuka whined. "What if this boy tries to take advantage of a beautiful girl like myself?"
"H-Hey!" Shinji shook his head. "You're not that pretty anyway."
"Ha, you don't even deny it!"
"That's not what I meant!"
"Pervert!"
"Lunatic!"
"Loser!"
The plan experienced a hiccup in the form of the pilots being a pair of spoiled brats, Asuka didn't like having share a space with a boy, and Shinji didn't like having to share his space with anyone period. Even Ritsuko could see how the arrangement was taking its toll on Misato, thoroughly annoyed and drinking to drown out the arguing.
"Ugh, be quiet…" Misato tried to keep her headache in check. "Just do the damn dance already. Let his be ooooveeeeerrrrrr…"
Kaji laughed by her side, a sound that worsened her headache.
"Supervising children getting to you?"
"Very." Misato crushed the beer can in her hand. "They just won't stooooop…"
"Asuka's like that." Kaji raised an eyebrow. "Surprised Shinji is this way too, I heard he was more timid in the reports."
She snorted. "Usually, but you'd be surprised. He gets fired up with the proper motivation."
"I can tell."
After two more minutes of arguing, the adults and Rei bared witness to a scene of Shinji and Asuka putting on their headsets to try the dance. As it did the last seven hundred times, they fell on themselves and failed miserably. Ritsuko shook her head in frustration.
"They're acting like children. The fate of the world is at stake here."
"You think this is bad? Try living with them." Misato grumbled. "My little Shinji-kun is trying, but Asuka's too high strung."
Come again? Ritsuko raised an eyebrow. "Your little Shinji-kun?"
"Yeah, her nickname for him." Kaji smiled. "It's cute. You can tell she really loves that kid."
Odd. Ritsuko remembered how Misato would talk about her Kaji back during her college days. She made sure not to say it to his face if only avoid raising his ego further, but one of Misato's most likably unbearable qualities was how attached she got once she got a boyfriend. As annoyed by Kaji as she had been, Misato would toss everything to the wayside if he called her to dinner, and when a woman glanced his way Misato was vengeful to an absurd degree. She had never seen Misato refer to anyone else as hers, not even herself.
Ritsuko decided to let it slide, figuring that having a ward brought out more of her maternal instinct. She was reaching that age after all.
"Love won't win us any battles." Ritsuko said. "We need them to work together."
As she said that, Shinji yelped as he fell to the floor again. Asuka got up and removed the headset.
"I can't do anything with this monkey! He's just too slow to be useful!"
Shinji glared at her. "You're too fast! I can't keep up with your tempo!"
"That's a you problem, not mine!"
They must enjoy their petty competition, Ritsuko thought with sarcasm. The week wasn't over and they hadn't even made it past the first step of the routine. What was going to convince them to focus?
"Enough!" Misato smirked, having apparently thought of that. "Asuka, you do need to slow down a little. You're going faster than what the program needed. You need to get on his level, something our fellow pilot over here can do no problem."
She glanced over at Rei, waving her hand over.
"Ready to take her place, Rei?"
Rei nodded. However, before she could make a move Shinji raised his hands in a panic.
"No, no! Absolutely not! I can go faster, it's not a problem!"
It was just as Misato expected him to react. Shinji got in position to try again. He synced his body to the music, only for his foot to trip on the mat and cause him to stumble all over himself. Asuka's laughter by his side only added to his embarrassment.
"Hahahahaha, so fast Idiot Shinji. What a perfect specimen you are."
He wanted to yell an insult, but decided to swallow it in haste. It wasn't like he was drowning himself with glory right now.
"Erm," Shinji pointed at the mat. "Why don't you show me how you do it first?"
Asuka rolled her eyes, but obliged his request. His reward for conceding defeat to the better pilot. She practiced her part of the routine, noticeably slower than before. Her body moved with a level of grace that Shinji impressed once she was done.
"Awesome."
"Yeah." She smirked at him. "What are you gonna do now, dumbass?"
He copied her position, ready to try once again. "Let's try again."
This time, Shinji was better equipped to keep up with her. The timing was off by a couple of seconds, but it was enough of an improvement in the eyes of the others in the room. By the end of the song, Ritsuko and Kaji clapped in approval while Shinji and Asuka stared at each other.
"Not bad, Third." Asuka told him. "You actually memorized this, unlike the manual you're supposed to be reading."
"Thanks." Shinji couldn't keep himself from needling her. "In my defense though, my teacher sends me mixed signals."
"I'll show you mixed signals, Third Child!"
There was no bite to their words, light teasing between friends. Misato's lip twitched a little.
"Very nice, very nice. You made it work you two."
"It seems I am not needed here." Rei stood up and bowed. "I will return to my quarters."
She left without haste. As the door slid shut, Asuka breathed a sigh of relief.
"What a freakazoid! Honestly, the way she was staring the whole time… she gives me the creeps."
"Tell me about it," Shinji nodded along with her disgust. "She hardly says or does anything. She reminds me of a doll more than a person."
The mere mention of the word sent her growling. "Great, now I know to avoid that lifeless husk calling herself a human being."
"Knock it off, you two." Misato admonished. "Rei's your fellow pilot. You do well to respect that."
"Yes ma'am."
They said in sync. They looked at each other, before chuckling over their shared moment.
"Freaky."
"Freaky indeed."
"Gah! I hate these fucking machines…"
The chocolate bar was juuuust on the tip of the container. It was set to fall any second now, if only it. got. unstuck. Misato had been waiting patiently for the goddamned chocolate bar, only for this travesty to happen. She wanted it now! Now! Not the next day when the Angel starts attacking and killing everyone!
A frustrated and selfish woman like herself needed relief. With that in mind, she threw all of her into a powerful kick. The machine trembled, the chocolate bar finally falling rather satisfyingly off to the floor. Misato took it and devoured the thing while, not caring about the chocolate staining her lips..
"Stupid, fucking… uuuughhhh… those two kids drive me nuts."
Shinji and Asuka hadn't been fighting. Quite the opposite, the two weeks were very peaceful. Too peaceful.
The pilots had settled into a comfortable, good rhythm. They synchronized their morning, afternoon and late night routines talking, eating and dancing in unison. They even partook in practice exams at the same time just to see who'd answer faster.
Misato took some delight that Shinji won, even if it was mostly because Asuka didn't understand the Kanji.
With how much the duo spent together, Misato felt she had nothing to contribute. They proceeded with their training unopposed, so she made it a point to leave the apartment for long hours. She either spent it doing the paperwork Ritsuko so selfishly dropped on her, or in the cafeteria or looking for the blasted vending machines to eat the chocolate bar that was rightfully hers dammit.
Misato knew why she was so angry. She knew her grumbling was exacerbating her frustration. The more she left Shinji and Asuka by themselves, the more she worried about that their shared time would stop. Her Shinji was getting along with Asuka, a good thing, but she didn't want to deal with the possibility of Asuka moving in with them. She managed to avoid getting into a one on one conversation with her, thank god, but she still didn't know how to approach her.
Asuka wasn't much like Shinji, where they had common ground and a willingness to be open. Her boy needed someone strong to watch over him. Asuka wanted to be a grown up, utterly self sufficient, so Misato treated her that way during their time in Germany. It wasn't enough, Kaji knew it wasn't enough and he tried to warn her, but she didn't listen even when they talked in bed.
Her negligence led to Kaji turning away from her, to focus on Asuka. Her situation took up his time, so they stopped seeing each other even before Misato's transfer to Japan. Now, Asuka was with them and currently taking her Shinji's attention.
"Hmrmr…"
Her fault. It was her fault what happened not Asuka's. Misato had to remind herself of that every second as she pressed the button on the elevator.
"Come on, get down here…"
The elevator opened, much to her delight. Unfortunately, it was destroyed by the man who was inside.
"Hey beautiful." Kaji smiled at her. "Care to join me?"
Misato gasped as she felt hands grab her shoulders, pushing her to the wall. She turned around and saw Kaji.
"What are you doing you-?"
He silenced her with a kiss. Misato easily fell to his trap.
Kaji broke his promise, she remembered. He was being very pushy right now. He slipped his tongue into her, making calculated grabs of her breasts and ass. Misato was unable to resist, trying to grab onto his broad shoulders and muscular chest to no avail.
They separated, leaving her a panting, wet mess on the wall.
"You're so stressed." Kaji said as if that explained anything. "I think it's time, right?"
Misato flushed. Despite herself, she wanted the feel of a man right now and Kaji was willing. He always was. Even when she wasn't.
"Yeah…" She nodded. "My room."
Kaji whistled. "With the kids? You play a dangerous game, Misa-chan."
She shook her head with a frown.
"They'll be asleep by then, they're not going to peep in. It's fine."
She was going to have to spend another night trying to prove herself to this man, dirty herself to please him. She will do this, even though he never said the words she longed to hear nor did it make her happy after the fact.
She didn't care. At least he was company.
Misato grabbed his hand and took him to the room.
It was the last night before the fight against Israfel. Shinji was a touch frazzled.
"I can't sleep," he said to no one in the room. "I know it's not good for the mission but I can't do it."
He laid on top of the sheets, next to Asuka. Their sleeping arrangement was very much a Kaji suggestion, even though Asuka and Misato came together to reject it entirely out of hand.
"A man and a woman together, who knows what'll happen!"
"I won't sleep next to some creepy little boy!"
Misato made him promise not to take advantage of Asuka to appease her fears. Shinji obliged her, no prodding required. He wasn't into her, nor did he really feel comfortable being next to a girl his age anyway. Shinji was too busy boggling over the Angels having names to pay her any sort of attention.
He read and reread the manual like she told him to do, and it still left him dazed. The most he got out of it was hearing her words of praise for his clumsy effort to remember their names.
"Not bad, Third Child. You're not an idiot, just dumb."
He took it as a compliment rather than an insult.
The manual was useful until it wasn't. It listed names, designations and some characteristics, but whatever pool they were drawing this from wasn't particularly forthcoming about where they'd come from, what they'd look like or why they are even attacking. Sachiel, the first Angel he fought, was actually the Third Angel. The manual described it as being made of bones and it would arrive from the water, but nothing else on how it would attack. All of NERV's research and this was the best they could do?
Same went for Shamshel. The Fourth Angel was said to have a connection to lightning- which only fit if you count its electric whips. Ramiel, the Fifth Angel, could wipe anything without a trace, a fancy way of saying it had a death laser. Asuka killed Gaghiel on her own, now they were fighting the Seventh Angel who had a "divided heart." No guesses what power it had.
The First Angel recorded in the manual was Adam, the being that caused Second Impact. He, not a meteor like Shinji heard about, destroyed most of the world once it was awakened. Misato had to have known about this, Shinji thought. He wondered how she felt about such a revelation.
"I guess I can ask her in the morning." He shook his head. "No, maybe she hasn't said anything because it was private."
From Adam, sixteen Angels in total were born to take over the planet. They came with two important caveats uncovered by the research team responsible for putting this manual together. One was that the Angels acted independently of one another, so they could each appear in any order they so wished. NERV was lucky they rose by chronological order. He didn't want to imagine Israfel being the first Angel out of the gate.
Two, there was a distinct possibility some Angels might not activate at all. Eggs had been discovered in different countries, with activity suggesting some might die out on their own due to underdeveloped bodies. Lilith, the Second Angel, was eliminated this way according to the manual. Shinji hoped all of them would die on their own, but he knew he wouldn't be that lucky.
Shinji shrugged, turning on his side to see Asuka. He watched the girl sleep, the way her breath made her chest rise and fall in slow beats, her face so peaceful compared to the fiery temper she displayed during the day. Shinji smiled down at her.
"She sure is pretty while asleep…"
He wondered what kissing her would feel like. He then lightly chuckled.
"Asuka wouldn't like it if I did like. She'd probably kill me."
He remembered an incident from his childhood. When he was little, Shinji was invigorated just enough by the pictures of his mother, proof that she did love him and he didn't have to be alone, to try and make friends on his own. To that end, he went over to the house of an acquaintance from school. He was then swiftly kicked out after he tried to kiss the sister of said acquaintance without her asking, leading his teacher to read him the riot act over the situation.
Shinji couldn't say he blamed the teacher for that. Mother probably wouldn't have liked that either. Still, just watching someone wasn't hurting them was it? He kept staring at Asuka's body, stealing glances from her chest to her face…
"Ma…"
His eyes widened.
"Ma… ma…. mama…"
He then quickly got up from the bed, scratching his own hair. A cold realization suddenly came to him.
"She's just a kid like me."
His sweat left a damp spot on his tank top. He took deep breaths to calm down, he needed to go the bathroom and wash his face, he needed to hurt himself, he needed to do anything other than look at Asuka for a second longer-
Shinji heard the door open. He turned his body and head off to the side, steadying his breathing to give off the impresson he was asleep.
"Looks like you were right. Where's...?"
"… That way… ready…?"
"Always ready, Misa-chan."
Mr. Kaji… and Misato… Shinji heard their voices along with their footsteps. He and Asuka were ignored entirely as the adults entered Misato's room. He was suddenly very much awake.
'Are they going to…?'
Curiosity overrode his sense of decency. Shinji slowly rose from the floor, careful to keep quiet around Asuka as he tip toed out of the bed. Misato didn't keep her door all the way shut, so Shinji managed to take a peep inside.
He wished he hadn't.
He saw Kaji… not kissing Misato, that didn't feel right to describe what he was doing. Shinji had never seen such ferocity in the way Kaji seemingly devoured her with hi slips. He grabbed onto Misato, tearing her clothes off her body in a controlled frenzy to find her flesh, and she let him, content to do as he pleased.
Shinji had never seen anything like this outside of the magazines he would find at the supermarket. This was real.
Kaji pushed Misato into the bed. She was panting, her eyes crazed in a mix of lust yet something else. She wasn't putting u a strong front like Shinji was used to. She wasn't his commanding officer, nor was she a mother hovering over him in the privacy of home.
No, in this moment she was letting her guard down around someone she knew for their shared pleasure.
"Misa-chan… you ready…?"
Kaji grabbed her chin, making her look at him. Misato was frozen in his gaze.
"You're drifting off. I know that look. Are you sure you'd give yourself up like that?"
She was uncertain, searching the room for answer she couldn't provide. In a frightening moment, her eyes glanced in Shinji's direction. He panicked and hid behind the doorframe.
'Did she see me…?'
He hoped she hadn't. He didn't want her to be disappointed in him, to hate him. Yet even as he thought that, Shinji heard a series of wet, slopping noises. He looked back in. Misato was now making out with Kaji with a hunger she hadn't displayed when she came in earlier. She wrapped her legs around Kaji.
"Be with me… please…"
It was all she had to say. Kaji plunged into her.
Shinji could hardly see anything of Misato right now. Just her legs, quick shallow breaths and moaning for Kaji's name. His confused emotions caused him to scowl at the couple.
'What is that… what…' he thought. 'Misato is… is…'
He was upset, but he didn't know why. Logically, he knew Misato was an adult. She said she had boyfriends and Kaji was one of them. Of course they would share a connection. An adult connection, one he wasn't privy to. He was violating that now just by watching.
Hadn't she said any relationship between her and Kaji was over? Why were they doing this now? The Angel was due tomorrow! Why was he watching when the Angel was due tomorrow?
Perhaps it was because in that moment, Shinji became painfully aware Misato was a woman.
She was with a man before his very eyes and… and…
".. jiiiiiiiii..."
Her voice came out a loud moan. Shinji felt his pants becoming tighter, making him uncomfortable. He looked down in shame, and headed toward the bathroom.
'I need to take care of this before the morning…'
Thankfully for Shinji, the Angel suffered a swift defeat.
He and Asuka managed a perfect synchronization, destroying Israfel without embarrassing NERV in the process. The victory celebration came and went, with Mary Iscariot applauding their efforts. Even the Commander temporarily chimed in to congratulate everyone. Shinji didn't care.
Ritsuko in particular was impressed with the results of their sync training. She called him and others to her office to discuss this fact.
"The synchronization readings are off the charts! We need to keep these two together. Misato, I highly suggest-"
"Negative" Misato said. "This was always a temporary situation. Asuka has no interest, and they argue way too much to stay together for long."
"Damn right." Asuka flipped her hair. "I can live perfectly well on my own."
"Are you sure?" Shinji asked. "I mean, I wouldn't want to sleep next to you, but doesn't it get lonely for you?"
"Not at all. Not everyone of us is a desperate baby like you."
However, Asuka gave Shinji a confident smile.
"I'll say this, Third. You're not so bad after all."
Shinji couldn't help but smile back.
After the meeting was adjourned, Asuka marched back to his quarters to collect her things. This left him alone with Misato. She lightly tapped Shinji's shoulder, letting out a little laugh.
"Looks like it's just us again, my little Shinji-kun. Like it's supposed to be. Lunch?"
Thinking about what he saw last night, Shinji felt wary about her words.
"Yeah… lunch…"
Author's Notes:
Any piece of Evangelion media has to upgrade Shinji at least a little to make him a viable love interest. Here's this fic's upgrade, he no longer assaults women while they're unconscious, but he does peep into other people's wacky sex times like a creepy weirdo.
More seriously, in the equivalent episode Shinji's aborted kiss to a sleeping Asuka acted as sort of a first glimpse into his own burgeoning (and destructive) sexuality. I wanted to keep that idea here with Shinji watching Misato have sex with Kaji, especially since both depictions of Instrumentality had him being forced to watch them go at it like rabbits in their college years. Shinji got to witness a side of her he hadn't noticed due to boxing her as a mother figure, a side she didn't want him to see due to her own issues.
Well, Anime!Misato didn't want him to see it. I wonder what this Misato is thinking…
Do you think this version of Shinji has been written consistently so far? Let me know.
Reviews:
engel17white: Gonna respond this in two parts,
1) Very possible, actually. She's just a troubled person. Asuka's change is due to a combo of my personal philosophy and the needs of the story. I already dislike fics bashing every character besides Shinji, if he's going to be upgraded into more of a good guy compared to the anime I don't see a reason to keep Asuka the same. With the horrible crap she suffers regardless of the continuity, I feel Asuka should be allowed to be somewhat happy (preferably not with Shinji if I had my way). Jocasta already cut off most of Shinji's support, I decided it would fit better to have Asuka be his friend so she was adjusted accordingly.
2) In the show, SEELE probably wanted to keep as many people in the dark as they could. Misato didn't even know about Lilith being used as bait to lure the Angels in, so that was probably them playing it safe.
Traitor of all Traitors: Yui is debatable, but End of Eva showed that Gendo did feel guilty over the way he treated Shinji. Sometimes, people do terrible things and push past the guilt because they feel they have no choice or the end result is worth it. Gendo realized his folly too late and died. Later, Shinji killed the human race for the comfort of Instrumentality only to realize he was wrong and allowed people to return if they wanted to. Also, XD You do realize this is a tragedy right?
QUICKM33MZ2005: The show didn't draw too much attention to it, but there were times where the MAGI detected Angels you could see their names spelled out on the screen. My thinking was that if SEELE felt comfortable providing that information, chances are it wouldn't be crazy to do a universe where they were more forthcoming with other data even if everything else was kept secret.