After the hectic day they had, the hot springs were a welcome distraction.
Misato brought them to the resort about an hour ago. The resort had few customers this time of year, so it didn't take long for the tiny group of three to grab dinner and get settled into their rooms. Misato sent Shinji to pick up a box from the mail. Since he was planning to go into the springs immediately afterward, Shinji went shirtless with only his swim trunks. His upper body was still tinged red from the brief dive he took earlier.
"I wonder what Mr. Kaji sent…"
Shinji found the box by the counter. He saw it shake by itself.
"Hm?"
Taking hesitant steps, Shinji opened the box. Pen-Pen immediately jumped out, shaking his head and feathers in a cry for freedom. Shinji couldn't help but smile.
"Right. You are a hot springs penguin, after all. I should probably thank Mr. Kaji later."
He still wasn't sure what to make of the man. By all accounts, Kaji was handsome, charming, someone Shinji couldn't help but admire and wish to be like. There wasn't anything wrong with him, except there was and Shinji was left confused.
In the weeks since Asuka arrived, Shinji saw Kaji tease Misato, making lewd remarks or getting in close to her space. She never seemed to enjoy his flirtations, grumbling insults at him or zoning out of a conversation while he was around. She swore up and down that whatever relationship they had was dead in the water, and for a while Shinji believed that. He stayed out of it mostly because what else could he do? He was just a child after all.
All of that was thrown out the window the night before Israfel, when he came across Kaji and Misato having sex in her room. Shinji knew it wasn't his place to judge, but something didn't sit right with that encounter. Misato swore up and down that she hated his guts, yet she was willing to let him into her bed like that?
'Like you're so different.' A thought came to him. 'You argue with Asuka, but you had no problems watching her body.'
Shinji blushed at the memory of Asuka's sleeping face. Was this what it was like between men and women? Heated, bitter words thrown at each other, but still willing to offer themselves up for pleasure? Or to relieve their own loneliness? Did Misato feel lonely, even willing to take Kaji with her to satiate herself? Why was he hung up on this himself?
Adults were confusing, his own feelings confusing. He thought of the kiss he shared as a child. He wanted to get closer to someone, a girl, but was harshly rejected. He was wary of kissing Asuka, knowing he shouldn't take her first, but actually asking her for it seemed out of the question. He was lonely but Asuka wasn't, what was there to share?
His thoughts turned to Misato. Misato. The kisses she gave him were on the cheek, meant to be motherly affection toward him, yet they left him stiffened. He liked them, he enjoyed them, but was that all he wanted? Shinji tried to not think of his guardian in a sexual light, not daring to sully her image by bringing him to his level. She was his commanding officer, someone he had to take orders from to fight the Angels, and the closest to a mother he ever had. It was sacrilege to treat her any differently.
Yet every so often, Shinji felt the intrusive thoughts sneak in. Moments of Misato in scantily clad tank tops, in towels, holding him against her, those images of Kaji taking her in bed, they all coalesced in his mind and sent him spiraling. What did he want from her exactly?
He didn't want an answer to that. He shook his head, knowing two things for sure. He was glad Kaji didn't come, as he felt too awkward to hang around the man. He was also didn't want Misato to be around Kaji either.
Shinji took Pen Pen by the waist. He tried to ignore the animal's shaking between his hands as he walked them over to the boy's side of the springs. On his way, he turned his thoughts away from Misato to today's battle.
The operation against Sandalphon, the Eighth Angel, was another epic disaster. Asuka's Unit 02 was equipped with the B-Type equipment and lowered into the volcano in an attempt to capture Sandalphon for research. However, the Angel broke through the trap and attacked Asuka, nearly ending her life. While Asuka was able to kill it, she would have sunken to her death if he hadn't taken a dive into the lava to save her.
"Idiot…"
Shinji thought he heard fondness in Asuka's voice. He chalked that up to the desperate situation more than anything else.
Soon, he made it to the springs. Shinji dropped his trunks and the towel around his shoulder to the floor, before letting Pen-Pen hop into the springs. As Shinji let himself sink into the water, figured it would just be him and the bird. Asuka and Misato would presumably join him on the other side of the bamboo walls, the girl's side of the springs. They'd probably be there, naked as he was…
Shinji shook his head. "Stop! Don't think like that!"
Misato brought them into the hot springs an apology for today. Shinji wasn't sure what for. It wasn't like she was responsible for the Angel breaking out early, or Asuka's near death. Even the scolding he got for disobeying orders was clearly nothing more than a formality. Afterward, she slapped his butt and thanked him for saving Asuka.
He didn't hold anything against her. As far as he was concerned, there was nothing to forgive. Misato did what she was supposed to, but cared about both of them.
In a second, Shinji heard splashing from the other side. Strangely, he only heard a single pair of feet enter the water.
"Hey Shinji! You there?"
Asuka. But where was Misato. Shinji didn't waste time asking her:
"I am. Are you doing okay? Where's Misato?"
"I'm fine, full from dinner. Dunno where she is. Probably still in your room."
A pause. He heard minor bits of splashing.
"The shampoo isn't here. Mind if I borrow yours?"
"Yeah, just lemme find it…"
Shinji searched his area. Sure enough, he found the shampoo bottle on the steps of the walkway. He quickly grabbed the bottle and threw it over the other side. A yelp came from Asuka.
"Ow! You hit my pussy you ass!"
Flushing in embarrassment, Shinji waved his hands. "I'M SORRY! SORRY! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"
"Ow ow ow ow!" Asuka's voice lowered. "It hurts so much… maybe I should rub it to make myself feel warm…"
His ears picked up the sound of fingers scratching skin.
"Ha. haaaaaa… oh, that's so much better… aaaahhhh~"
Shinji frowned, trying to cover his growing erection. Thermal expansion, as Asuka put it during their meet up before the Volcano operation. Bad enough he was trying to resist thinking of Misato, Asuka was trying to tease him too?
"S-Stop it! I didn't need to hear that!"
"Hahaha, Misato's right! You're easy to fluster! Ohhhh, that hits the spot!"
"Quit teasing me!" Shinji sank further into the water. "You almost died, you know! Shouldn't you be having a panic attack or something?"
"Please, panic attacks? Unlike you, I actually have a thick skin."
A moment passed, and the two then found themselves in silence. Shinji sat with his back to the wall, trying to will his impure thoughts away. Asuka was strangely subdued. Aside from the earlier teasing, she didn't boast or argue like she usually would. It felt nice, Shinji decided. He wasn't in the mood for another argument.
"..."
"…"
"Thanks for saving me, by the way."
Shinji could hear the way Asuka's voice cracked from exhaustion. She must have hid more of herself than she thought.
"I really thought I was gonna die down there. You came in a pinch. I owe you one."
"You don't owe me anything." Shinji managed a smile. "I couldn't let you die like that. Life would be too easy for me otherwise."
"Ha. Somehow, I actually believe that when it comes from you."
He raised an eyebrow. "How come? Nobody wanted you to die."
"Kaji wouldn't. You wouldn't. Misato? Definitely. She hates me."
Immediately, Shinji began to frown. "Asuka."
"She doesn't give a shit, you have to see that! She was fine with me dipping into the lava and only screamed when you tried to save me!"
"Misato isn't like that! She was grateful I saved you."
"Because you're her shining golden boy! You can do no wrong in her eyes! Shinji the hero, Shinji the savior, her precious Shinji-kun! Meanwhile, I'm nothing more than dirty laundry for her to toss out when it's convenient!"
"There's no way you believe that." Shinji started to growl. "What did Misato ever do to you anyway? Not praise you enough?"
"She did nothing, and that's just it! Misato was just there. She watched over me, but never did anything for me! I was trash to her!"
Asuka steadied her breathing. She lost herself in her anger.
"I'm just a tool to her, you understand that right? She gave me that humiliating balloony plugsuit and ruined Unit 02 with that awful B-Type equipment. All she did, besides taunting me about being a kid, was get in between me and Kaji! He was mine before she sank her claws into him!"
This again? Shinji pinched the prick of his nose.
"They were together, Asuka. You can't seriously think you had a chance."
"It's the principle of the thing! God, she would make out with Kaji right where I can see him! She wore that damned perfume where I can smell them! One time, I was going through my first period and she told me to walk it off like nothing! She wanted me to suffer, she's crazy!"
"Obviously, you're exaggerating. Why would she want that anyway? She isn't that sort of person."
"Easy for you to say, you're her little Shinji-kun remember?"
"Stop it!"
"You know I'm right." Asuka laughed. "She's obsessed with you, by god. Even the slightest thing I say she's all over your sorry ass. I don't even think I've seen her look at Kaji once since we go here."
"Now I know you're joking. She was with Kaji-!"
Shinji stopped himself. He almost said too much about the other night. However, Asuka heard him.
"What?! When did that happen? Don't tell me she's stealing from me again! I thought Kaji was over her!"
"I, um…" Shinji scratched his chin. "I ran into them… making out… in the elevator…"
His excuse sounded feeble even to his own ears. Fortunately, it was just plausible enough that Asuka bought it without question.
"That cheating whore! She's taking Kaji from me again!"
"She's not a whore!" Shinji bit his lip. "She's not-"
A flash of memory. Her moans in bed.
… jiiiiiiiii…
He heard her voice clear as day. He tried to shake it as well as his expansion off.
"S-she's not anything like you say…"
"Heh. I see you're in denial." Asuka sighed. "Whatever. You'll find out soon enough."
"Can we talk about anything else? Seriously?"
Shinji's skin could feel how warm the water was. He clenched his teeth as Asuka responded.
"What else is there to talk about? It's not like we can go to school thanks the media circus around us. I can only go outside with bodyguards. Bah! I hate those Section-2 dorks. They're nothing but mannequins masquerading as human beings."
"They're not so bad." Shinji said with a whimper. "They saved my life once. One of them gave me a chocolate bar."
"One of them gave me a chocolate bar, wow such a pillar of human decency! That's how you sound, Third, starved for anything."
"Yeah? Well, I'm Asuka and I'm super ungrateful, I don't like security protecting me from weirdoes! That's how you sound."
"I do not!"
"You do too!"
"Shut up, you're crazy."
"No, you're crazy!"
"Mama's boy."
"Two-faced demon."
Their petty argument lasted for about forty minutes. After a bit, a calm Shinji collected his pants and towel.
"See you later, Asuka. Good night."
He left with Pen-Pen so they could return to his room. Well, his and Misato's room. Asuka stayed over in her own room as per usual. As he approached, Shinji thought of Misato again.
The most confusing about the other day wasn't even the sex between Kaji and Misato, but how little changed after that encounter. A week later, Misato ignored Kaji and actively told him off for flirting with her. She continued to spend whatever time she wasn't working staying with him back at the room, as if nothing happened. One time, she talked about putting on disguises so they could go outside again.
Much as Shinji liked the idea of going out with her, he wasn't sure what to make of her actions. Over the course of months, he accepted many things about her. She was lazy, a slob, a drunk and a tease who liked to make inappropriate remarks at him. Even with all that, he also knew she was a warm and caring person. It was why he found her attitude toward Kaji so odd. Not liking the ex is one thing, but using him for sex before throwing him aside?
Granted, Kaji took it in good sport and kept on trying but Shinji didn't know what he would do when faced with rejection like that. Especially from Misato. She cared about him in a way he hadn't felt in a long time. If all the time she spent with him is any indication, Shinji wondered if Asuka was right and maybe Misato cared too much.
Without a frame of reference beyond his teacher, Shinji let this thought slide. He wasn't going to get anywhere like this. Even if he wanted to ask her about Kaji, what she saw in him, Shinji knew he wouldn't get an answer.
"She'd say no." He mumbled to himself. "It is a personal question… and she'd wonder how I knew they had sex."
He wasn't sure why he dwelled on this matter. It was a relationship he had no business knowing. He didn't, no he shouldn't, be thinking strange things about his guardian, but still he was haunted…
Finally, Shinji approached the door to his room. Putting Pen-Pen down, he knocked on the wooden frame.
"Misato? Can I come in?"
Rustling and a loud thump, along with a mumbled apology. Shinji wondered what Misato was doing as she opened the door.
She wore the loose pink tank-top she had this morning, her hair tied in a messy bun. She was haggard, like she came out of a nap or a hang over. Which was weird, as Shinji was sure Misato hadn't had a drink since the operation. Even with her odd state, Misato smiled at him.
"Heya Shinji! How you holdin' up?" She noticed Pen-Pen. "Oh, Kaji came through on this, didn't he?"
Shinji placed Pen-Pen on the floor. He touched his own chest, briefly surprised that it still stung.
"Ouch… I guess I'm okay. I still sting from the volcano."
"Like I told you, you did a brave thing. I'm proud of you." Misato's grin split further. "Come inside, Shinji. We're all alone together, you know~"
Teasing. She was just teasing, he reminded himself, as Shinji entered the room with her. Pen-Pen made himself comfortable on the carpet, as Misato sat on the bed and crossed her legs. Shinji couldn't help but notice her sheets were a mess even though they only arrived an hour ago. She noticed his staring.
"Sorry. Was trying to nap but, well…" Misato explained. "Couldn't keep it together. I was already scared of losing Asuka to the Angel but you too…" She chuckled, "you know how to make me worry."
"I didn't meant to. I had to do something." Shinji tried to reassure. He sat next to her on the bed. "Are you okay, Misato? You seemed a little… off at dinner. You were quiet, like Asuka."
She laughed.
"That obvious? Well, I do feel bad over what happened today. I almost let Asuka die…"
What she said made no sense to him. Shinji knew he had to say something.
"But you didn't do anything. We were going to capture the Angel, it wasn't like you planned for it to attack Asuka."
"That's not it." Misato shook her head. "I knew how risky the operation was going to be. The MAGI, Ritsuko, everyone warned me that the Angel could escape confinement and kill us all, but I wanted to get that thing… and for a moment, I risked Asuka's life and yours to get back at that Angel."
Shinji remembered the missiles and N2 mine set up up to kill them if the Angel escaped the volcano. He was glad it hadn't come to that at least.
"But, if we hadn't done anything it might have attacked the city. We stopped it before it could hurt others, isn't that a good thing?"
Misato bitterly smiled. "Yes, it is. But I was being selfish, putting you all in harm's way for my revenge… I made a promise not to treat you like tools, and I did here…"
She fell silent, contemplating her new words carefully. She sighed, frowning at revealing this to Shinji.
"You read through the manual, right? How the first Angel destroyed the world?"
He did. Adam was the one that triggered Second Impact and nearly wiped out the human race. Shinji nodded, letting her continue.
"I… was in a bad place when Second Impact happened. Completely catatonic, lost a lot of friends and people, all confused… Ritsuko joined NERV to follow her mom's research, and she told me about what really happened in Second Impact. Because of that, I applied to NERV to I could get my revenge on Adam and all those Angels."
She snarled at the image of Adam in her mind. A brilliant being of light that stretched to the heavens, its wings of light enveloping the sky in fury.
"I hate them, Shinji, I hate them so much. For what they did to me, for what they've done to the entire world… and I hate that I'm not the one risking my life out there instead of you two. Just piloting the Eva, you are way braver then you give yourself credit for. Never forget that, Shinji. You're your own person, don't let me use you like that."
Shinji wanted to say something, but stopped. Misato had made up her mind about this long ago, she was not in the mood to have her mind changed. Hesitant, he continued to speak:
"You don't use me… you protect me, and thank you for that. Really."
Even in her sorrow, Misato managed a smile at what he said. Seeing her cheer up let Shinji continued to
"Besides, what you're doing isn't so bad, is it? The Angels are trying to kill us all, and we need to do whatever it takes to stop them right?"
It immediately ended Misato's brief bout of cheer. She shook her head.
"Don't make excuses for me, Shinji. This was bad… worse given everything with Asuka… I failed her again…"
Again? Shinji seized on the opportunity. "Asuka told me you weren't there for her. What exactly did she mean by that?"
"She hasn't told you? Well…" Misato frowned. "It's a long story. I was on and off training in Germany, and during my time there I was frequently placed as Asuka's guardian. I never had a problem with that honestly, she was a real cutie pie eager for a fight. Then, two years ago, Asuka changed."
She stopped. "Or maybe I did? In hindsight, I don't think I understood as much as I could have. The moment Kaji came back to my life, Asuka got a crush on him and we started fighting over him. Honestly, Kaji and I didn't take her all that seriously and did our own thing. Asuka was playing at being a grown up, and she had to break out of her bubble some time.
A pause. Misato gathered herself.
"Well, she did… after I screwed up."
Shinji's eyes widened in shock. He hadn't expected such an admission of guilt from her. Misato cringed, not wanting him to hear about this side of her but knowing she couldn't stop now.
"We were having another fight. Kaji this, Kaji that, whatever it was… she told me she was better than a drunk whore loser like me since she was a mature adult. She deserved Kaji, not me."
A twitch in Misato's eye.
"I was having a bad day already, and wasn't in the mood to be peaceful with her. I wanted to show her she was wrong about being an adult. So I brought out a can of beer and told her to drink it up."
Oh no. Misato could see where he was thinking, and assuaged his fears.
"It wasn't anything big. Just a sip and that was it. After Asuka spat out that drink, I told her that she couldn't be an adult until she could drink it without hurling. I locked the beer inside the cabinet and went to nap not too long after… howeer, when I woke up, Kaji was calling me. Asuka got into an accident and was in the hospital."
"Somehow, Asuka managed to break the lock on the fridge and take the beer. She drank about four or six to prove herself, before she waddled out of the apartment drunk off her rocker. While I was sleeping in bed, she was nearly killed by a gang before Section-2 managed to save her. I won't forget when I rushed to the hospital, she yelled at me, telling me about these white blobs trying tear her apart… and I just did nothing. I felt disgusted with myself afterwards."
Shinji said nothing.
"Naturally, I was deemed unfit to raise Asuka and transferred out of Germany as soon as I was promoted. To be honest, because of that incident I didn't expect the Commander to approve my request to be your guardian."
Shinji didn't need to guess. "He didn't want me around. It was easier to dump me with you. Maybe he thought you'd just watch me and nothing else."
He reached out for her hand, only to lose his nerve. He put it back on the bed.
"For what it's worth," Shinji said. "You're not the same as back then. I'd like it if you cleaned more but I don't think you've let me down yet. You're amazing."
At this, Misato smile grew again. She wrapped her right around her boy, bringing his cheek in contact with her chest.
"Oh, Shin-chan! Is there any way you're not perfect?"
"Um, I dunno Misato… help…"
The body contact brought out his imagination. He desperately hoped Misato hadn't noticed anything while she kept his head locked. She then separated from him.
"Sorry for not coming to the springs earlier. Wanna have a night to ourselves?"
Shinji blinked. "Ourselves? Where?"
"There's a unisex bath. We can go in there and have fun, no Asuka or anyone to interrupt us. Just you and me. What do you say?"
Even with the uncertainty around his feelings, Shinji didn't have it in him to say no.
"I'd love to."
Sunset turned to night, as the two left the room.
While Shinji kept to his swim trunks, Misato wore a white robe covering her body. She brushed some of the bangs from her face as they met up with a man behind the counter. His thick mustache hid the way his lips curved at the sight of them.
"Hi. You probably want to reserve one of the springs?"
Misato flashed one of her dazzling smiles at him. "Yup! A unisex bath. Anyone filling it in or…?"
"No one." The man said all too readily. "There's one empty right now. The largest one, actually. Perfect for you and your son!"
Shinji couldn't help but flush and look away as Misato nodded.
"Thanks a ton!"
The man led Misato and Shinji into the unisex bath. He hadn't lied when he said he reserved the largest one. Compared to the compact space Shinji was in before, this one was almost an arena. There were sharp rocks and an ever-flowing waterfall, all completed by a wide, thick fence giving them a view of the forest.
"Enjoy your stay!" The man said. "All expenses have been paid for by your organization. Small prize for our protectors!"
He shut the door behind them. Shinji took a step into the water, only stopping when he didn't hear his partner joining him. He turned back to her. Misato clutched the knots of her robe, her eyes cast downward in fear. Her hands were shaking.
"Misato?"
"Oh? I'm…" Her voice shook. "I'm just… I don't know if I can do this…"
Shinji scratched the back of his head. "Did I do something?"
"No, nothing you did. I'm just… I don't know, I thought I was ready to show myself here but there's something I don't know if you're ready to see."
"W-well maybe you can, um sit there?" Shinji tried to appease her. "I don't mind, really. I can swim on my own... well, I can swim here. It's shallow, haha..."
He looked at her pleadingly, concerned for her. Misato was touched by this, so much that she resolved to help herself.
"Nah… no fun when it's just one person, my sweet Shinji-kun…"
She took off her robe before his eyes. Shinji gasped at the sight.
Not of her body. Misato was as beautiful as Shinji always knew her, maybe more so under the moon's light. He could not look away from her. Her chest was only barely covered by a white bikini that stuck to her body, her legs long and daintily, her skin shining like marble, not a blemish in sight.
All except for the scar across her abdomen.
He had never seen that before, not even in her most revealing outfits. A secret he hadn't been privy to before, and Misato was showing it to him. Her eyes were closed in resignation.
"Ugly isn't it? You can thank Second Impact for that. I don't like showing this to anyone."
Shinji looked on, curious and fearful. "My god…"
"It's my shame, a burden I carry. Every time I look in the mirror I see this and all I can think about is the Angels. I hate them for what they did to the world, to me and… all I can feel is how ugly I am. On the inside and out."
Misato sighed. "I don't expect you to understand, Shinji-"
An electric spark coursed through her. She let out a gasp, opening her eyes to see Shinji rubbing his fingers over her scar. His eyes stared at it, entranced by what the jagged curve carved into her body. After a moment, he looked away from her, blushing.
"You're not… ugly… you're not…"
As if her heart couldn't bear more. Misato flushed at this declaration. "Shinji…"
His name came out of her mouth breathlessly. Her face lit up in surprise, the most innocent Shinji had ever seen her be. He wondered not for the first time if he had offended her somehow, especially with the contact she wasn't expecting, before the look vanished in the blink of an eye. It was replaced by Misato's lips splitting into a cheshire grin.
"My, my… You'd make an amazing husband some day."
"M-Misato!"
His hand stopped touching her scar, instead he accidentally slipped into the water. His tumble splashed Misato on accident, getting her wet before she even stepped in.
"Um, I'm sorry! That's not what I-!"
She ignored his cries, running in after him. She splashed water in Shinji's direction.
"Live a little, Shin-chan! Let's have some fun!"
So they did. When Misato splashed him, Shinji made sure to return it her fire. They spent their time in the springs truly free, from NERV, Eva and their responsibilities. In the moment, the two were children dancing in the darkness of night away from prying eyes. No one to scold them, no one to see the love between them.
They were a boy and a girl hiding under the moon's white glare.
"Hahahaha, are you even trying Shinji? I can splash harder than that!"
"You're starting to sound like Asuka now!"
"Ohhhhh, you're pissing me off with that!"
Misato chased Shinji around the bath. They laughed like maniacs, truly at peace for the first time in a while. Shinji forgot his discomfort, only dimly aware of his surroundings. In his arrogance, he tripped on a rock, causing him to fall into the shallow water.
"Grgrgrhuuullllhhhh…"
Before he could pull himself up, Misato tackled him to the floor. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, chuckling at his clumsy attempts to get away from her. Their shared embrace led to the edge of the bath. Aside from his face, Shinji's body was completely submerged in the water. He had no defense against Misato towering over him.
"I won again, my dear Shinji-kun!"
"You did…" Shinji couldn't help but laugh. "Haha… you… did…"
Both realized the position they were in. Shinji flushed at the closeness he shared with her. Misato's arms and legs trapped him under her body, allowing her a full view of the boy's waist and blushing face.
"..."
"…"
There was nothing to say. Shinji couldn't help but gaze up at her. All of her. Her face, flushing from something he wasn't sure what from. Her hair was let down, glistening from the water she was submerged in not a moment ago. Everything about her sent a shiver down Shinji's body. He remembered his fantasies from before and couldn't help himself. He looked at Misato in awe of her.
Meanwhile she stared curiously down at him. Her face tilted to the side, looking into Shinji's eyes in search of something she wasn't sure about. His wounded blue eyes stared back in longing, one she felt herself.
She felt a stirring beneath her chest, a longing she couldn't ignore.
"Heh heh, you're so cute my Shinji-kun…"
Misato drew closer, Shinji went to back away.
"M-Misato, wait…"
His voice stopped as their noses touched. Misato's smile was heavenly to Shinji, as it always was, but even he couldn't help but see something in her eyes that threw him off balance. A fondness he had seen before. The first night, when she approached his bed and comforted him in his loneliness. When she revealed why she took him in and held his face. After the Jet Alone, when she held him in a tight hug. Those days once they moved into NERV HQ.
Her eyes danced with the same emotion right now. Shinji didn't know what it was, only that it made him dirtier for seeing her in a lewd light like before, bringing her down to his level. Yet as he kept staring into her eyes to see her, he felt himself become alive.
"Misato..."
"I'm so glad you're alive, Shinji." She said. "You've really been a blessing to me… If only I could keep you safe…"
His face gained a blush. "I- It's nothing… Honestly, you helped me more than I helped you…"
"None of that now. When you're with me, I don't feel alone."
Her lips touched Shinji's.
It was chaste, no more than a brush. However, it sent Shinji spiraling. His body froze to her touch, his eyes closing shut in surrender to her affection. Not being able to help himself, he kissed Misato back, trying to take like she did. Misato allowed it, continuing to kiss him, allowing their bodies to collide in their search for comfort…
Seconds later, the haze in their minds cleared. Misato was the first to snap out of it, moving away from Shinji to touch her lips. For his part, Shinji was left stunned, even more when he realized he was missing the contact that was only just beginning.
"What… what was that…?"
"Erm… sorry…" Misato blushed. "Got a little carried away there."
"No! No, I'm sorry I…" Shinji gulped. "I shouldn't have done that. I wish I hadn't-"
Misato dismissed his fears with yet a shaky laugh. "Why don't we just call this your reward for saving us and call it a night? It was just a kiss, Shinji. That's all."
Trying to swallow the surprise disappointment, Shinji nodded in agreement.
The mood was completely ruined now, though. Not even minutes later they left the hot springs, confused and bothered by what transpired. Misato would sleep on the bed, wishing Shinji good night while he kept to a sleeping bag on the floor. As Misato went to sleep right away, Shinji's thoughts kept him awake.
'She kissed me. I don't… I… what is happening to us? To me? What am I feeling?'
He didn't even try to control himself. He kissed her back like it was nothing. What was he trying to do? He was just a kid. Not even a man like Kaji, yet he tried to take her kiss just like that. Why did he give in so easily? Why did Misato kiss him? Was she lonely before? Was he trying to be an adult like Asuka? What is wrong with him?
The growing anxiety kept him from sleeping the whole night. Shinji wondered when an event like this would happen again.
Author's Notes:
I just found out that Coward by Tormentor488 was deleted and I'm upset. It was another inspiration for this story and a favorite of mine. It hasn't been saved up in the Wayback Machine either, anyone managed to snag a copy?
To be honest, now that I made it this far I'm a little stumped. My plan right now is to skip Matarael (though the black out will be kept) and Ireul, while having a chapter involving Mary Iscariot. Maybe you'd like to see a character get focused on? If so, who? Let me know.
Reviews:
engel17white: Well, this chapter is going to give Shinji more ammo for those impure thoughts.
DragonMack: Negative on that one, this isn't that kind of story.
Nerv987: I completely get it, and I understand if you want to drop the story because of what happened. I didn't set out to create an NTR scenario, nor was I trying to imply that Misato set out to manipulate Shinji. I went back to change some of the words to make that clearer. I hope you find this chapter good enough to keep you engaged at least.
(For the record, I do occasionally go back to change stuff in previous chapters. Mostly to fix mistakes, but that means you better reread just in case!)