"Ow… augh…"
"Sorry, Shinji."
"I-it's okay it's just… ah, it still hurts."
"Just take a breath. Sit down here."
At Misato's behest, Shinji sat down on the bench. He grabbed his leg and groaned in frustration.
"I know, I know." Misato shook her head. "We just have the one test today and we'll get lunch. Nothing's going to happen."
"Thanks, I'm just um…" Shinji sighed. "Give me a moment."
He rubbed the sizable bandage atop his knee. The doctors managed to remove the bullet, but even patched up he could barely walk without a crutch. Or Misato. As a result of last week's encounter, Misato made it a point to escort him around the base. Shinji thought he would be fine with the attention, until she started entering the changing room with him.
"I know, but we have to do the test now." Misato said. "It's been a while, so I'll help you."
"Do you have to look, Misato? I can change by myself, you know."
It was embarrassing having to put on the plugsuit while She was in the room. Misato sheepishly grinned in understanding.
"I've seen plenty of you before, don't worry! I won't take a peak."
The wink at the end only made Shinji flush further. "J-Just quit teasing me! I'm serious!"
"Fiiiiine, my pwecious lil' bean." Her laugh filled the room. "I'll stare at this nice boring wall, quietly in the corner, waiting. If you need help your nurse will be here for your service!"
"Cut it out!"
Misato continued laughing even as she turned around to end Shinji his privacy. He was grateful for the little reprieve, not quite in the mood for teasing.
"A-Alright then…"
Shinji began by taking his red shirt off, leaving his pale chest and skinny stomach visible to the room. He undid the button on his shorts, sliding them down to the floor. So far so good. Shinji reached for the plugsuit next to him, putting his unharmed left leg over first. When he tried to move his right leg forward, however, it began to hurt.
"Hmph! Ow…"
"Need some help?" Misato's tone was worried. Shinji didn't like it. "You don't sound too good."
"No! No it's fine I'm-"
The bandage got in the way. Any time Shinji tried to pull his leg over the suit, he found himself holding back a groan. As such, he unable to fully stick his leg in.
"Ugh, I can't! Just move, move I-"
A sharp breath escaped him as he felt soft hands gently touch his leg. Shinji felt goosebumps as he looked up to find Misato concentrating on the task.
"Sorry. You weren't doing so fine on your own, so… let me help you. Please."
The way she spoke gave Shinji pause. He panicked over Misato being able to see him almost naked- even though she'd already seen him, he remembered with distaste- but she sounded so tired and sad. He didn't want to hear it from her any further, so as per usual Shinji allowed her to do what she wanted.
"Okay, just hurry it up please."
Misato nodded. She carefully grabbed his leg, and pulled it over the sleeve of the plugsuit. With both legs strapped inside, it wasn't difficult for Misato to slide the suit over Shinji's waist, until her hand covered his chest. She gently rubbed it.
"There we go…" Misato said with a smile. "I can zip you from behind."
Shinji didn't get a say. He placed his arms inside the suit, feeling the metallic zipper rub along his back. Her hand grabbed his wrist, pressing the button that compressed the suit to his skin. She slapped his back with ease.
"There. That wasn't so bad, was it Shinji?"
"N-No I guess not…"
He grabbed the crutch on the bench. He tried to pull himself up, only a little proud of himself for not immediately wobbling over and falling. He barely managed to keep himself steady. Misato stood in front of him.
"You're getting better, Shinji. I remember having to sweep you off your feet every time you keeled over."
"Hahaha," Shinji weakly grinned. "I guess you're always saving me. Sorry."
"None of that. I'll always be here for you."
She rubbed her hand over his cheek, flashing him a confident smile. Even with his discomfort Shinji couldn't help but feel entranced by her.
"Thanks. I think."
Misato said nothing. For an uncertain amount of time, they just stood there and stared at each other. Awkward as they felt over their encounter at the onsen, the black out, everything, Shinji trusted Misato and she did him. Misato looked over her Shinji, noticing how he looked especially vulnerable today.
She leaned in, her lips about to graze his cheek. He pulled away before contact could be established.
"Um, the test?"
Her face twisted into a grimace. Misato sighed, unable to hide the hurt.
"Right. The test. Let's go."
After a moment, Misato placed her hand on his back to push him. Shinji looked away from her, just letting her take the lead as she always did.
"Synchronization at 119%. You're doing great today, Shinji!"
He awkwardly smiled at the camera. Misato was in the center of the feed, Dr. Akagi and Ibuki visibly off to the sides. They were probably analyzing the data on their computers or something along those lines. Shinji was waiting to push the button to shut off the feed.
"Thanks, Misato."
Asuka's face popped into the feed, joining the conversation with her usual exuberance.
"Hey! My sync ratio raised too, why aren't you saying anything?"
"Sure, you're doing good too." Misato frowned. "197%, not too bad either."
"Not too bad? PUH-LEASE!" Asuka slammed the controls on her console. "I'm way ahead of him. You're just buttering up to that moron!"
"Nothing like that, Asuka." Misato rolled her eyes. "Trust me, if he surpasses you we'll let you know."
"Oh boy, I'm so looking forward to your excited cheering! Oh sure Asuka you won, anyway Shinji congrats on raising your points a measly five points."
"Just five?" Shinji couldn't help himself. "Keep your guard up Asuka, I might just catch up to you some day."
Asuka laughed at that. "Yeah right. In a pig's eye you'll ever be better than me!"
"We're tied for now." Shinji grinned. "You better not slip up."
"Hahahahahaha, in your dreams Third Child!"
Despite her words, Asuka's smile was unmistakable. She shut off the feed but Shinji could feel himself relax. He was grateful for a distraction.
"I'm glad she's okay. She doesn't seem bothered by what happened."
"She's just hiding it. We're all worried about you, you know."
Misato's voice disrupted his thought. Shinji couldn't help but notice an edge to her words he couldn't recognize.
"Focus." She told him. "We'll let you out in a few minutes."
Her feed shut off, leaving Shinji to his own devices at last. He decided to close his eyes and take a deep breath.
"…"
Shinji allowed his mind to slip away. Soon, it was just him and his thoughts…
The entry plug felt colder than usual. It was odd to say, as Shinji never found the plug to be a place of comfort. This was the place where he suffered as a pilot surrounded by a liquid that stank of blood. There was nothing to like about the Eva. Even so, during his time as a pilot there was an odd sense of warmth that Shinji couldn't explain that just simply wasn't there now. It alienated him from the Eva more than usual, making him wish he could leave immediately.
'Are you even alive?' Shinji asked no one. 'Sometimes I blank out and do something, but I don't remember. Did you really hurt Ayanami that time? What are you?'
No answers. What else did he expect from a machine?
His thoughts turned to Misato. They have always been about Misato to an extent, more than what's expected from a boy about his guardian Misato taking him in. Misato ordering him in the Eva. Misato drinking and laughing herself to a stupor. Misato defending him on TV. Misato helping him walk with a crutch. Misato killing those men with a gun.
Misato kissing him from above the water.
He had been avoiding her since that day, and he suspected she had been avoiding him too. To be honest, he was glad that it happened. He wanted time to really think about what happened, how he brazenly leaned into her kiss that shouldn't have even happened. It wasn't proper. She was his caretaker as it were. He shouldn't have done that, she shouldn't have let him off for that. She didn't hate him enough and he hated himself for not hating it enough.
Misato hadn't left his side since the black out incident. Not when she could help it, anyway. She tucked him into bed, took him with her to the offices, came to him even in the privacy of the changing room. And he found himself enjoyed her attention and resenting it at the same time. What was she thinking? Why won't she just leave him alone? Misato was supposed to be…
What was she to him? A mother perhaps, clearly a protector, but there was more to her that Shinji didn't know. That he didn't want to know, if he was honest with himself. Shinji saw Misato with Kaji, yet she pushed him away. She was using Kaji. Was she using him too? If so, what was Misato using him for?
Misato took him in out of loneliness, but that kiss made Shinji wonder what else did she have in mind for him. Was there more to her desire for companionship? Was she just teasing him? What was happening?
She was all of these conflicting things, but yet they never fit in a way Shinji understood. Could he understand Misato? Did he even want to understand?
"I'm so confused." Shinji whispered. "What should I do?"
The Eva was simple, at least. Obey Misato, save humanity from aliens, live another day. He could focus on that and be on his way.
He cut himself a break from thinking, and slept.
….
...
…
….
….
.
Be with me.
…..
…
…
….
"SHINJI!"
The first thing Shinji felt was the LCL drain from the entry plug. He then noticed the hatch was open and Misato was panicking at the sight of him.
"Huh? What happened?"
Misato ran up to Shinji, catching his cheeks between her hands. She pressed her full weight onto him.
"Thank god, you're alright…" She took breaths. "Shit, shit shit…"
She was so anxious and scared that Shinji wondered what must have happened to make her react this way.
"Misato, why did you pull me out? Did I do anything wrong?"
"Not you… your sync ratio was…" Misato frowned. "Very high. Too high. We had to kick you out of the Eva to protect you."
Shinji didn't remember doing anything different in the Eva. However, he wasn't in a position to say no to Misato. She grabbed a hold of Shinji's arm, wrapping it around her shoulder.
"You've been excused, no question. I'm taking you down to the infirmary to get you treated. No one's allowed to ask questions."
Misato pulled Shinji out of the plug, not wasting any time to take him out of the plug. Not even the arrival of Asuka served as an impediment to them. She shook her head at the sight of the two.
"You just keep getting into trouble, don't you? It's like you keep throwing yourself at danger, you idiot."
Misato had no patience for Asuka today. Or any other day thanks to her incompetence. She turned her head and glared.
"No thanks to you, Asuka."
She pushed on, almost shoving Asuka out of the way. Asuka sobered up quickly.
"Hey, I didn't mean anything like that. I was joking."
"Save the jokes." Misato's voice became harsher. "He needs to be treated and you're in the way."
Asuka's eyes widened in fury. "He's not lame. He can walk fine on his own."
"Not for a few days. Wonder who caused that?"
"Are you fucking serious?!" She banged her hand against her chest. "I didn't want this idiot to get hurt, dumpkoff!"
"He did anyway. You didn't help."
"Where the hell were you? Just making out with Kaji in the elevator weren't you?"
"We got stuck because of the black out. Meanwhile, you went exploring."
"Both of us! We didn't think we'd actually run into trouble!"
"NERV shouldn't have had a black out. If you had any brains, you would have stayed indoors!"
"I'LL SHOW YOU BRAINS, YOU INSUFFERABLE LITTLE-!"
Shinji found himself unable to say anything, not in either one's defense. He was tired, he wanted to go back to his room to listen to his SDAT player or do whatever else to pass the time, but they just kept talking and talking… it wasn't going to end any time soon. He passively allowed this fight to happen just to get it over with.
As Misato and Asuka continued their argument in the cage, back in the testing room Ritsuko observed the data on the MAGI computer terminal. They were not in any way promising to her.
"This is worrying…"
"Huh?" Maya looked over it. "This is a higher sync ratio than we're used to. Shouldn't that be a good thing?"
"No, the results are rather similar to an old case. The Commander wouldn't want a repeat of it less we lose one of our pilots…"
Ritsuko pushed thoughts of jealousy aside.
"I will have to inform him. Triple check the results."
Five days passed. Shinji was beginning to lose his mind.
He rubbed his leg once more. The pain was beginning to lessen, the wound finally healing properly. Good, because he was tired of needing help. He would no longer need to walk anywhere with Misato. He refused to be a baby or a tool for her anymore.
"It's getting ridiculous." He said to no one. "She doesn't even get this way with Pen-Pen, why would she act this way with me?"
It was one thing when it was the first few days. He was grateful for her help then, since he couldn't do anything with his leg broken. He knew those precautions were just to help him and she didn't mean any harm. He tolerated Misato helping him with the plugsuit, with walking, watching him through the camera and even those petty arguments with Asuka, all because she was just helping him.
But now, it was getting too much. Shinji couldn't even go the bathroom without Misato waiting outside the door. The night before, he woke up in the middle of the night to find her kneeling by his bedside, hand on his neck. Caught red handed, Misato blushed and said:
"Hey Shinji. I wanted to see how you were holding up."
Afterward, he turned to his side and ignored her. He tried to forget the pained intake of breath he heard. Shinji knew Misato was just worried about him, but he felt as if his space was invaded by her.
What was she doing that night…?
Ignoring his thoughts, Shinji climbed out of the bed and walked out the door. He was unfortunate enough to come across Misato in the living room, sprawled out on the floor with six bottles opened.
"Hey Shinji!"
Light blue shorts, jacket, and a black tank top that showed off her cleavage. Her legs were spread open, her eyes lighting up immediately upon seeing Shinji, who tried to move past her.
"I got a fun game we can try out. Truth or dare… dare ya to drink some of these!"
She opened another beer can, and swallowed its contents in one gulp. Misato burped and laughed, flushing.
"Oooooh, I'm feelin' so sexy right now! Come on, join me!"
"Erm, no…" Shinji politely nodded off. "I want to be alone today."
He meant to sound tough, but it came out as more of a petulant plea. Misato was not so nearly deterred, beckoning her finger to join her.
"But Shinjiiiiiii, I'm so bored and lonely here. I want you here with me! Come on, be with your mommy right now, I might give you a lil kiiiiiiiss~"
She made obnoxious smooching noises that only made Shinji feel more embarrassed. He adjusted his pants slightly, and tried to keep his voice steady.
"It's fine, Misato. You don't need me for anything."
"Need?" Misato glared at him. "Who said anything about need? I just want to spend time with you. Why can't you indulge me- hiccup, sorry! Just pleeeaaaase!"
Her whining awoke something in Shinji. Anger. Shame. Temptation. But mostly, indignation.
"Shut up! I said I want to be alone! I'm tired of you teasing and babying me all the time, just let me go!"
Misato's face fell at once. No longer a happy drunk, she just sourly stared at the empty beer can in her hand. Such a sight was enough to make Shinji snap out of his anger, realizing he had gone too dar.
"I'm sorry, Misa-"
"You said it. Fine. Be alone, leave poor old me by my lonesome. I worry about you, I want to keep you safe, this is how you see me? Fine! See if I care!"
She put the can down, replacing it with another. Shinji watched her drink the can in a slower, hurt gulp, before she turned back to him.
"…"
"Well, what are you still waiting for?" Misato glared at him. "Go!"
He didn't need to hear it twice. Shinji left their shared quarters, refusing to say a word. It hurt to see her like that, yet what else could he say to her? He got what he wanted but he didn't feel any better for doing so. He wondered if she instinctively knew he was running away from her and felt offended.
"Shows what she knows." Shinji said to himself. "I needed be away from her. She wouldn't let me have a moment's peace."
He took advantage of the situation and just walked. Or as much as Shinji was capable of doing while on a crutch. As always, the hallways of NERV were a quiet and depressing affair to navigate. Just wall after wall of metal that crushed whatever spirit lingered too much around the given area. An invasion could happen and there would be no telling if you run into a friend or foe around a corner. Thankfully for Shinji, there was no one around.
"I wonder if Asuka is in her room… hm…"
He didn't feel like visiting her either. Just as many times Asuka acted her usual self were times where she turned away the instant he tried to talk to her. Did she still feel guilty over the bullet wound? He wished she would just talk to him. He preferred being called an idiot over being treated like glass.
Just at that moment, Shinji felt light shine on him. He looked out to find a window.
"Whoah." He stared at the sight below. "It's the Geo-Front."
Even with how horrible NERV and Evas can be, the Geo-Front was a sight to behold. A fully ingrown, man-made biosphere within the metal fortress of Tokyo-3. Natural grass, trees and plants that were all the product of scientific advancements Shinji could not and never wound understand. He didn't know such things was possible yet NERV made it possible.
His father made it possible. Shinji frowned, despising the idea of attributing anything good to Father. He made the Evangelions, Rei and this cold, miserable place where he suffered. It wouldn't surprise Shinji if Father was somehow responsible for the Angels attacking the city. Father had derailed his life ruined the very moment he stepped into Tokyo-3. Shinji couldn't put into words how much he despised his father, yet he tried anyway.
"Father is horrible… even this nature is soiled from his influence…"
"Kind of disagree with that. It's an everyone effort, you know."
Shinji yelped. He turned to find a face he never expected to meet in person.
"Um, the… Sub Commander?"
Mary Iscariot gave him a mock salute, speaking in a deep, mocking voice:
"Private Ikari, here's Sub-Commander Iscariot, reporting for duty!"
She rolled her eyes, letting out a laugh.
"Why don't we drop the formalities? It's either Mary or Iscariot to you, Mr. Ikari. No in-betweens."
"R-right." Shinji waved her hi. "Hello?"
"Hi. Pleased to meet you."
She moved to shake his hand. Her grip was surprisingly tight, leaving Shinji having to check his wrist to see if she broke it by accident.
"You were exactly the person I was hoping to see!" Mary continued to speak. "Heard you had an incident the other day with Unit 01. Was wondering if you were alright."
"I'm fine." Shinji shrugged. "To be honest, I don't remember anything about what happened."
"Truly? Katsuragi was rather adamant not to let us interview you."
"Really?"
"Trauma and potential brain damage, yadda yadda." Mary leaned in, grinning. "None of the doctors said anything we didn't know, so I wanted to hear the truth from your lips."
Shinji moved back, accidentally banging against the window. "Sorry but I really don't remember anything. I was awake one moment and then I wasn't."
Iscariot gave him a brief look of disappointment, but regained her composure quickly. She kept her smile, whistling to him.
"You've gotten much older since I last saw you."
"Huh?" Shinji pointed at himself. "Me? You know me?"
"Absolutely. I was friends with your parents back in college, so I was there when you were born. What a cute little baby you were, coochie coochie cooooo~"
"Hahaha…" That made Shinji laugh in relief. However, he immediately seized on a particular point. "Wait, so you knew my mother?"
"Knew her! Kid, we were best friends, buddies, gal pals, thick as thieves!"
Mary bit her lip in anticipation of… something. Shinji wasn't sure what.
"Why don't we head to my office? I've got time to kill, surely we can spend some time reminiscing. That is, if you don't mind indulging an old lady like me."
She pouted her lis and swatted her eyes at Shinji. He sighed.
"Sure?"
"Splendid!" Mary clapped her hands. "You won't regret it!"
Iscariot's office was as homey as Shinji came to expect from her.
Compared to the sterile environments he was used to, her place felt busy and lively. A comfortable fluffy set of chairs, a stitched green carpet, walls surrounded by pictures of Mary's probable friends and loved ones. Smaller than his father's office, the one time he went there. Shinji took his seat in front of the desk.
"Very comfortable…"
"You think so?" Mary licked her lips. "I have to spend a lot of nights working my ass off. If I'm going to spend hours to days filing paperwork, I'd rather have the office be something I actually like to sleep in. You and Asuka gave us a ton of shit to sit through back with the twin Angels."
"Sorry."
"You made up for that by kicking its ass. Bravo to you, kiddo."
Mary picked out a picture from the wall. She dusted it off, smiling fondly at it.
"Hey. This pic is from when you were born."
She showed it to Shinji. Sure enough, he saw his mother holding him as a baby, with Mary pushing Gendo to the side as they smiled. He giggled at the sight of his father being in pain.
"Mother was so happy here…"
"She was. Your very existence changed everything for her, you see."
Shinji sat down. He gazed longingly at his mother, rubbing his fingers over her face. He had seen her face hundreds of times before. He wished she was here now, so he could get answers on what to do with Misato and his conflicting feelings.
"Mom…"
"What a woman, right? I truly do hope you enjoyed the pictures I sent you."
Shinji blinked in surprise. "Those were you?"
"Yup! The best I could get, considering Gendo threw out the rest."
"So it was true." He glared at his father in the picture. "He kept nothing of her."
"He likes to keep things close to the chest. Rei is his perfect replacement for her, you were just a reminder of his imperfection. Personally, if I grieve I'd like to have a friend who'd understand."
Mary brought out a bottle of bourbon and poured a drink. She raised a glass to him.
"Guess you really don't remember anything. Want one?"
Shinji shook his head. "I don't do that sort of thing."
"You live with Katsuragi. I heard she's a drunk."
"She is, I'm not like…her…"
"So judgmental of your guardian! Very Gendo of you."
Shinji bared his teeth at her. "I'm not like him."
"Don't be so ashamed." Mary pointed at herself. "We each have things from our parents, Shinji. I got my cute face from my mom, and my attitude from dad. Better to accept them and figure out who you want to be from there."
Mary sipped a bit of bourbon, letting out a delighted sigh.
"Got anything interesting to tell me? I hardly know about you aside from NERV reports."
"Not much to say." Shinji put the picture down. "No school is nice, even though I have work. Asuka is good, Misato is good. Nothing to say."
"Nothing at all? What a shame. One would think being an Eva pilot would be more interesting."
"Well… what about you?" Shinji narrowed his eyes. "How close are you and my father?"
"Not very much at all I'm afraid." Mary looked up, playing with her hair. "We shared your mom, nothing more. To tell you the truth, I only tolerate him 'cause we're out to save humanity. I couldn't care less about the guy."
"What?" Shinji was surprised she'd admit it so readily. "But you've known him for years, didn't you?"
"Yeah, still hate him. Just because you know someone doesn't mean you can live with them. Your mother saw things in him that no one did. Even the professor was baffled they got married."
"Professor?"
Mary poured herself another glass.
"Kozo Fuyutsuki. He was always skeptical of us, of what we could do and what we had planned. That's probably why we lost contact over the years."
She grinned, a small blush appearing over her face.
"Heh. Yui had too much faith in him. And in Gendo, to be honest. The Eva was her dream for a brighter future and he let us down in all the worst ways."
Eva. The monster he saw as a child. The robot he piloted. The demon that took Mother. She designed it? But that couldn't possibly be true. Such a thing couldn't be the product of her imagination. Shinji had to know, so he asked:
"Why did she make the Eva? How did such a thing come from her?"
Mary's grin became ever so wicked at his question.
"Your mother was patient, loving and kind. You know what else she was? Insatiable."
She put the glass down, turning her chair around to gaze at the pictures on the wall.
"Gendo could deny it all he wanted, but I saw it in her eyes. She was a hungry woman, who lusted for life. She didn't like being weighed down by rules or people's opinions. She wanted to see what lied beyond our pretty little planet, and didn't care who'd get left behind. Nothing was ever enough for her, not GEHRN, not your father, not me-"
Mary stopped herself. She turned back to Shinji, her smile down a couple of inches.
"Sorry. I got sidetracked. Your mother was complicated, Shinji. She loved humanity but hated people. That's probably what brought your parents together. Hell, I'm much the same. I'm hurting you by telling you about her like this."
"…"
Shinji said nothing. He tried to keep his fist invisible to her line of sight.
"Ha, well it's not like she's around to tell me off anyway. I remember this one time she got mad. You were like, two I think? You promised to marry me and I actually said yes to it. Your mom was so mad at such a dumb joke. Do you remember?"
"Huh?!" He shook his head. "No, I didn't think I'd do something like that."
"Hahahahaha, you did! You're still pretty charming as you are now, but you used to win a lot of hearts over with your delightful smiles. I'm much too old for you now, but you and I probably could have made it in another life."
"I don't know about that."
"Nothing is impossible! Grow up, learn and accept what you are! We're only here on this Earth once, Shinji Ikari. Imagine what you could do if you didn't clog yourself inside of your room. Like your dad. Or mom. Or me."
Mary Iscariot threw a punch into the air, hitting absolutely nothing. It caused her chair to turn around for a minute. She brought out another drink.
"Cheers."
Shinji heard enough. He hastely stood up. "Is there anything else you want from me?"
"Huh? No. You can go. I think I got everything anyway."
He left the room as quickly as possible. He wasn't sure what to make of this, but he wanted out of the room. His mother couldn't have been like that. The Sub-Commander had to be lying somehow. Or maybe she wasn't but didn't understand. No one understood his mother. She wouldn't throw him away like that, she couldn't possibly have! She was a victim of his father, she didn't mean to leave him alone in the world. No one should be thrown away.
Shinji didn't understand anything about adults or why they'd sooner toss each other in the trash. Maybe he would some day. For now, he had someone he needed to face.
After making a quick stop, Shinji opened the door to his quarters.
Thankfully, he found Misato lying on the couch, nearly dozing off as the TV played in front of her. Shinji carefully approached her, sitting next to the woman. He ignored the amount of beer cans lying on the floor and the couch.
"Zzzzzzzzzzz…"
She looked so peaceful asleep. Shinji had sometimes seen Misato refusing to wake up in the morning, but rarely did he get to see her napping out in the open. He took a quicj glance at her body, before he touched her shoulder.
"Misato?"
"Huh?" Misato's eyes fluttered open. She frowned at seeing her companion. "Oh, hey Shinji. How was your little walk?"
"Fine. I had some time to think and…" Shinji reached into his pocket. "I got you something."
It wasn't much of a gift. A chocolate bard from one of the vending machines. Misato looked at it, and back at Shinji. He blushed and scratched the back of his head.
"I wanted to um… I want to say sorry. You were just helping me and I didn't see it."
Misato recognized the peace offering for what it was. Deciding to honor it, she took the bar off his hands, ripping the wrapping to eat it.
"Thanks, Shinji."
"No problem." Shinji turned to the TV. "What's playing?"
"Oh?" Misato smiled. "Dunno. A crappy anime or something."
They sat in tender silence. Misato raised her arm and wrapped it around his shoulder, pulling him closer to her. Shinji did not reject it, nor did he reject the peck on his cheek that she gave him. Misato was complicated, after all. He didn't understand, but he knew that he wanted to make her happy somehow.
The TV blared on in the background.
Author's Notes:
The main reason for switching out Fuyutsuki with Mary Iscariot. I couldn't see him having such a frank talk with Shinji about Yui.
Am I the only one who finds it weird that AsuShin seems to be the most popular Eva pairing? Like, Shinji masturbated to her comatose body and tried to kill her twice for rejecting him. By the end of the movie, Asuka straight up called him disgusting. Any relationship between them is effectively dead in the LCL. Somehow, these two manage to have a strong dedicated following to the point where it seems like the only popular Eva fanfics nowadays are either AsuShin fics or crossovers. You'll forgive me for being confused how that happened.
In either case, I don't care for it. At best, it's "quiet boy and tsundere girl" which is my least favorite ship ship dynamic in existence, at worst… well, you already know. As I understood EoE, part of Shinji's arc in that movie was about learning to accept people are different, will reject him, and he can't use them as a crutch to soothe his broken self. Misato is more than a mother, Rei is more than a passive tool, and Asuka is more than just a doll for him to lust over. If he actually succeeded at getting with Asuka, it would defeat the purpose entirely. A storyline where Shinji comes to understand Asuka doesn't mean they have to end up together. If anything, such an arc works especially well if they remain separate, or only friends like in Rebuild. These aren't destined lovers like fans romanticize.
Ha, I'm complaining about unhealthiness in a Misato x Shinji fanfic. Oh well. Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter.
Reviews:
artifactBC: Misato didn't tell Kaji about what happened in the onsen, just implied something happened. Kaji has no reason to suspect anything crazy. Yeah he's being obnoxious, but that's him playing a role. He is trying to sus out info from Misato to understand her better. YMMV on whether his tactics are any good though…
engel17white: Probably. I wonder if something like this happened in the Rebuild timeline too.