Hermione fought ferociously with her bed sheets that evening as she struggled to fall asleep. Her mind simply refused to let her rest. She checked the time;
Just past five in the morning.
She let out a huff of frustration and shoved her sheets off her body before hopping off her bed. Throwing on her jumper and a pair of loose jeans, she grabbed her trainers to slip on as she silently made her way through the Gryffindor common room. For once, she was grateful it was Saturday.
The sky was overcast and dark as it was just shy of being daybreak. The air was cool and the courtyard mostly empty save for herself and a few select professors wandering about the grounds. She crossed her arms around her chest, tucking her hands in her armpits and kept eyes on the ground as she made her way towards the Great Lake.
She walked the familiar path to the spot she liked to read and study at near the lake. The path to the clearing at the lake's edge was covered by tall grass and brush. She first sought refuge here in the middle of their third year after Malfoy had made it a part of his daily routine to torment her. The effects of his continuous teasing and taunting had accumulated and one day it became too much. She broke, running off to an unknown area away from Hogwarts. She pushed through the thick grass as her tears streamed and kept on until she tripped on a large rock mid-step. Her sobs diminished when she looked up and noticed a glimmer in between the large, green blades. Curious, she maneuvered forward a few more meters until she reached open space.
It was an area that no one found themselves desiring to wander off to due to the steep cliff side and it being a fair walk from the castle. This meant foot traffic was nonexistent and there would be stillness in the surroundings aside from natural ambiance. These qualities made it the ideal place for her to be alone with her thoughts. Her spot of choice included a small open patch of low cut grass and was cupped with several large, flat rocks placed snugly among precariously placed ones along the edge. The lake's shore was a good twenty meter drop below. It provided a perfect viewpoint of the lake and the mountains that embraced the sides, completing the background. This location easily became her peace in the midst of all the madness; her safe haven.
She settled herself on the largest rock in the center and stared at the landscape, taking in the view. Sighing, she willingly opened her mental floodgates and finally let her pent up thoughts run free.
An orange-red haze began to appear at the horizon when she heard someone walking through the brush behind her. Her posture remained unchanged when they came to take a place beside her. There were only two people who knew to find her here. Instinctively, she reached for the other person's arm to hold. She leaned into the soft fabric of his jumper, his warmth welcome in the chilly weather.
"Couldn't sleep, either?" He asked gently.
She shook her head.
It was a rare occurrence for him to find a decent night of sleep nowadays. Since the lines between his and Voldemort's mind became blurred, it was difficult for him to cope and adjust to these changes. As his ambitious and naturally curious friend, she occasionally attempted to understand what it was like but always fell short. There simply wasn't anything she had experienced thus far to compare it to. She felt helpless in the times when there was nothing she could do besides watching him suffer from the sidelines and support him in the aftermath.
While she didn't know how it felt per say, she certainly knew how it felt to have someone close to you hurting. In this particular case, she and Ron knew better than anyone; which was why his next words of choice shocked her.
"I wanted to apologize," he said quietly, guilt-ridden.
Hermione whipped her head to the side to face him.
"Whatever for?" She prompted, shock evident in her tone.
Harry kept his attention forward as he spoke, taking in the serene sight before him. "I know I have been more difficult lately. It's just...these visions, these parts of him that I can see, parts that I can feel. They make me sick, Hermione. I hate that I can see what he sees and feel what he feels." He paused as he considered his next words.
Over the years, she learned to give him as much time to talk as he needed without interruption for he usually had more to say. He always did after being deprived of the privilege of speaking freely for so long growing up.
"It wasn't my intention to get on you yesterday. And I apologize. But Voldemort...he's a mad and dangerous person and the fact that someone that we know could be one of his followers. This is someone we go to class with on a daily basis. Granted, he is an arse most of the time and despite how much I can't fucking stand him, we're still on the verge of war. We're on opposite ends of a full blown war and the worst part of it all is that—" he paused, unsure of which part he should choose to proceed with.
"He is still a child...just like us." She finished for him. Clearly that thought had crossed her mind as well.
She watched his brow furrow as he considered his next words. He turned his head to face her.
"You managed to get him to talk yesterday, didn't you?" He asked.
Her eyes widened slightly and he frowned knowingly. "We've been best friends for years, Hermione. I didn't say anything because honestly, I was more shocked at the fact that you lied without batting an eye."
She huffed a humorless laugh. Of course he knew. But he would have never guessed what actually occurred in the bathroom. As much as her mind tried to fight and deny the fact, there was a place within her that felt more than pity for Malfoy. For a brief second in time, she connected with him. She saw a side of him that no one else saw before he shut her out completely. A small portion of her felt guilty for lying but the majority of her felt oddly defensive.
Almost...protective.
Hermione wanted to mentally slap herself for feeling such a way. She reminded herself she had stopped Harry in his place to prevent both him and Malfoy from certain harm.
"Harry, I'm not sorry for what I did—"
"But you didn't want to upset me because everything I suspected about him was true." He clarified in a calm manner.
She averted her gaze from him to an owl equipped with a package in the distance as it flew over them towards the castle, letting it disappear in her peripheral vision as she resumed, "Yes. I didn't search his arm for the mark," she inhaled shakily while he watched her expectantly. "But I'm positive."
"And Katie?" He inquired further.
"I did not state any specifications or accusations to him but we both know what we saw yesterday. There was never any doubt." She declared strongly.
If the turmoil was not apparent before, it was clear now. It pleased her that Harry was actively processing the information with reason and logic rather than with blind emotion and rage. Now they could discuss these matters with clear thoughts. With this method, it was almost as if they found themselves trying to give Malfoy the benefit of the doubt but they both knew what was inevitable; they both knew what the conclusion would be. Harry was mindful of the various details he was certain Hermione chose to leave out purposefully but didn't pry for he had heard all he needed to hear.
He had apparently let a pause drone on too long because he heard her speak again, "Harry, I won't let you try to confront him on your own—"
"No no, I agree with you." He quickly interjected. "He won't talk to us and he's already taken the mark — wait, how exactly are you positive? Did you outright ask him if he was a death eater?" He asked almost hysterically.
She wrinkled her nose at him. "Of course I didn't outright ask him, Harry. I'm not an idiot. And no matter how much you tell yourself otherwise, he isn't one, either. He figured it out himself."
He grimaced apologetically, "Right. Of course you wouldn't blatantly ask him that. You're brilliant and you know better and I'm sorry. But we are fairly certain he is a death eater now which means he's dangerous. We can't approach him again," he warned.
Hermione wanted to argue that he hadn't harmed her yesterday, momentarily forgetting that she disarmed him when he was clearly about to hex her. Clearly, there was more she needed to contemplate on so she refrained herself from speaking and watched him curiously for a moment. "What are you thinking, Harry?"
He thought for a moment before responding, "We can't let this change anything. We'll have to continue to do as we always have. We will continue to fight. He clearly made his choice. As did we." her breath hitched at his words.
His choice.
"Right." She exhaled softly under her breath.
They let a comfortable silence blanket them as they watched the sky gradually become lighter, still grey with the overcast skies and lack of direct sunlight. The surrounding areas to the school was sure to be riddled with students roaming about the grounds but no voices were heard. Hermione thrived in the tranquil that came with this place.
After a few moments, Harry broke their silence. "So how are things with Ron?"
He bit his lip to keep himself from laughing at her dramatic shift in dynamic. She still demonstrated annoyance but somehow appeared years younger. It was as if discussing adolescent problems reverted them back to being their current age. Like they weren't on the verge of facing a life-altering event.
She growled frustratingly as she dropped her head into her hands, "Honestly, I have never seen someone so overtly oblivious and obtuse!"
"Really? I've always thought him to be a fairly bright bloke—" he let out the laugh he held back as she swiftly smacked him in the chest.
"Don't you dare joke, Harry Potter." She tried to maintain a serious tone but failed miserably, the beginnings of a smile etching its way onto her face. "That is not even remotely funny." she said, fully giggling now.
"Oh, I think it's a little funny," he grinned. "He's my best friend but he's also about as clueless as they come when it comes to emotions. You, Hermione, would choose to fall for someone while knowing that fact."
"Perhaps I like him because of the challenge," she shrugged. "And who are you to talk? You're not exactly a lady's man yourself despite witches throwing themselves at you from all sides!"
"I'd like to think myself a slight improvement, thank you," he replied smugly.
"Is that so? And what of you and Ginny? I heard she helped you hide the book somewhere?" She smirked mischievously as he blushed, but smiled nonetheless.
"She kissed me. In the Room of Requirement." he shyly revealed. Her smirk turned into a genuine expression of adoration.
She quickly pulled him in for a kind embrace which he easily returned.
"That's wonderful, Harry. Merlin knows you deserve to have some happiness in all this," she mumbled into his shoulder.
"Thank you. She does make me happy. I suppose that is what I need now, isn't it?" They pulled apart to meet each other's gaze. She nodded in agreement.
"Now more than ever, I think," she confirmed.
They shifted to resume their original position with her head on his shoulder and arm linked with his, carrying on to let the silence envelop them once more.
A fragment of time passed before Harry spoke up, "Things are about to change again, aren't they?"
Things had shifted drastically after their fourth year in that time of awkwardness and growth. Feelings more than friendship started to get involved made everything overly complicated. Despite the obstacles thrown to tear them apart, they came out stronger in the end. But it was different this time. Harry has found happiness in something as well as gained a new motivation to see to the end of the rising conflict.
The curly haired witch had been aware of it as well but for different reasons. She felt something shift yesterday when she confronted Malfoy in the lavatory. No, before that; when she made the decision to stop Harry from going after him. There were still many questions she wanted answers to. But to his current question, she could answer vaguely.
Her hand found his to intertwine their fingers, finding comfort in the action. She valued their friendship and the fact that they could maintain their closeness without any complications. Perhaps that was why she could not find herself comfortably being as affectionate with Ron.
The mostly-still image in front of them changed when the eagle owl, now empty-handed, passed over them once more. Hermione subconsciously watched its retreating figure fade with the distance when she heard herself speaking seconds later.
"Yes...yes, I think they are..."