I went to Professor Wheat's office the next day. I could've gone to any other counselor's office, but I wanted to talk to someone who knew Blake on a more personal level. I knocked on the door and she smiled at me before leading me inside her office. There was a small waiting room outside of whatever room she actually used to talk with students, and a ton of magazines decorating a coffee table. I noticed Schnee Magazine was on the top and I almost cracked a smile.

"Please watch your step," she warned me right before I'd almost tripped on the doorstep. It was a bit higher than the rest of the floor and just caught the tip of my boot. She held the door open for me and I walked inside. There were tons of paintings and sculptures adorning her walls and shelves. The room smelled like peppermint and baking bread and was warm and nicely lit. There were two comfortable looking suede couches facing each other. She gestured to one and I sighed softly as I sat down. I'd been planning this conversation all night, but now that I was sitting in the room, I couldn't remember the plan at all.

"Good afternoon, Miss Xiao Long. I'm Professor Wheat. I saw you'd requested an urgent meeting, is there any emergency I can help you with?" Her voice was so soothing- relaxed but pointed. I could tell she was great at her job.

"Yeah, I… um… you can call me Yang." I don't know why that had bothered me so much. I hadn't planned for anything that didn't directly involved talking about Blake, and here I was bothering about a name.

"Of course… Yang?" Her eyes lit up as she said my name, like she recognized me.

"Blake has probably told her all about me…"

"I, um…" I looked down at the ground. I'd been thinking about it all night. I definitely liked guys. I'd even hooked up with a couple back at Signal. I'd never even thought about girls romantically or sexually before. I just… I just wasn't attracted to girls. But I was attracted to Blake. As ridiculous as it sounds, I realized I was attracted to Blake and everything about her. Her laugh, her smile, her eyes, her ears, the sweet scent of her breath and the licorice smell that clung to her clothes…

"I have this teammate… I didn't think…" I felt a lump form in my throat. I tried to swallow it down, but it wouldn't go away. I didn't think this would be so hard. This wasn't what I'd planned for.

"Well… I like her… I didn't realize it until yesterday… I've been so stupid. She told me she-"

I was interrupted by a knock on the door and I almost jumped out of my seat.

"One moment, Yang." She walked out of the therapy room and into the waiting room. The door swung closed before I could see who was at the front door. I didn't even realize I was shaking.

"How can this be so hard?" I wasn't used to being so… emotional. I didn't even notice when Professor Wheat came back in and and took her seat across from me. I was off in my head, staring at the bouquet of blooming white roses on one of her shelves.

"Would you like to continue? Something happened yesterday?" I snapped out of my thoughts, but words were still struggling to come to me.

"She… I don't know… it just happened. It just kinda, clicked!" None of this was in the plan. I never made plans but now I couldn't just go with the flow like before. Nothing was working and I was stuck and I just couldn't piece anything together.

"Would you like to elaborate? I'll try to help you as well as I can." She sounded sweet and genuine. I wondered how many times she'd dealt with these kinds of problems before.

"Bla- the uh- the teammate. It just... clicked."

"Well, Yang, if you're looking for relationship advice-"

"It's not just that... it's not exactly a traditional relationship..." I meant relationships between teammates. That was just… it didn't feel right. It could cause a huge rift between the team if it ended badly. It could cause a rift between us.

"Ah… I see. Well, if you feel you're questioning your sexuality, I have these very helpful-"

"No! No… don't give me those pamphlets. I don't care about labels. It's not about that."

"Then what is it about, Yang? I don't think I'm following-"

"It's about Blake! It's about her, not girls! It's everything about her! I've never felt this way about anyone before! Yesterday... I realized that it's not just about girls or guys or genders... Life isn't about that! Life's too short for that! It's about an individual, y'know? Like, Blake… oh Dust... I looked her right in the eyes and said no. I actually said no! And it was a lie. It was a lie then and it's a lie now. I thought I couldn't be attracted to her because I wasn't attracted to girls, but I'm attracted to Blake. I only met her because I was dragging my sister to try and be more social, but she was pulling and begging me to stop and I would've! I totally would've stopped and left her alone but I saw the girl she was talking about. I saw her reading some book and... I think I kinda wanted her to look at me the way she was looking at that book." I don't know when I'd stood up during my little talk. My voice was cracking, my eyes were red… I crossed my arms over my chest and awkwardly sat back down on the couch.

"Sorry," I said quickly. She nodded patiently and thought for a few seconds.

"How do you feel about your current interactions with her? After your talk?" Her voice and questions started to calm me down as she spoke. I didn't know if she was specifically trying to or not, but it was definitely working if she was.

"I feel terrible… we've been talking like everything's back to normal."

"Isn't it? Has there been a difference-"

"I don't want normal! I want… I want more. I want more from her, more from me… More from us." The feeling of wanting to punch something resurfaced for a quick second.

"More what?" She reached out and handed me a tissue. I hadn't even realized my eyes were tearing up. I was really out of whack with my emotions.

"I don't know… a relationship. Maybe? I've never had a real one… I mean, I've hooked up before, but… ugh..." It was so difficult to explain. My first few boyfriends had been the hottest guys in school, but they'd all been so… uneventful. They were nothing special. Just regular people with no shining qualities. But Blake? Everything about her was just so amazing… I touched my boot heels together, looking at the angle they made against the pattern of the hardwood floor.

"Maybe you should ask Miss Belladonna if she still feels the same way towards you?" She stopped trying to pretend she didn't know who I was talking about. I felt a lot more comfortable when she did.

"Hmm? How?" How could I just bring up that old conversation again? I didn't want to make her uncomfortable about a situation she already assumed was buried.

"Simply ask her if she still thinks of you as adamantly as you think of her." She made it sound so easy.

"So like… just ask her out?"

"If you so choose."

"What if she says no?" I'd never asked anyone out before. It sounded like the most unpleasant experience ever and I did not envy anyone who'd had to do it. But me asking Blake out? Just thinking about it made my throat dry.

"You did. Blake seems fine."

"I… don't think I can do that."

"Why not?"

"I'm not as strong as she is. She handled everything so well… I don't think I could even gather the courage to ask, let alone hear her say no…" I wanted to punch things. Work out all of my gross emotions on some unlucky sandbag. Professor Wheat waited a long time before asking her next question.

"Do you believe hearing a definitive answer could be as harmful to your emotional well being as this… uncertainty?" This time, I had to think for a while. Hearing Blake say no would suck, but… No way it could be worse than this. We'd get over it. We were teammates, after all, and at least with a definite answer I'd be able to go back to being her friend.

"No," I answered.

"Then I believe it might be best to ask…" It took a really long time before I was able to look up. Her eyes were a really soft brown color that made her face look genuine. I could read every emotion she was feeling through them, and she honestly seemed so concerned and hopeful for me.

"… thanks Professor. Have you… have you ever asked anyone out before? Is it hard?" Her eyes glanced over to the door behind me and I realized she'd probably agreed to talk to me during her lunch break. Her next appointment must be in the waiting room.

"Yang... I believe it's going to be a lot easier than you think."

That put the last fears I had about this to rest. I let out a deep sigh and shook them out like old cobwebs.

"I'm gonna ask her."

I was totally gonna ask Blake out. I was gonna track her down and find her and scream my heart out to her. I was gonna tell her just how much I wanted to hug her and hold her and kiss her and, Dust, even if I could just gaze into those intense, amber eyes some more I'd be happy. I stood up and shook Professor Wheat's hand, already walking towards the door.

"Where would she be right now? It's already after class. Maybe in the library-"

Bam!

I tripped over the stupid door-stop and landed face-first on the floor. I shook it off and looked up embarrassedly, expecting to meet the eyes of someone who was just as torn up as I was when I'd come in. Bright amber wasn't at all what I'd been expecting...

"Had a nice fall?" Blake reached out a hand and I took it.

I hugged her so tight before I dusted myself off.

"You should probably Leave the puns to me, Blakey," I suggested.

"No promises."