A/N: Hey guys! Thank you for your wonderful reviews. I meant to update sooner, but I guess fanfiction was having some glitch and I did not receive any updates or mails. It kinda took away my motivation that no one would get any alerts if I updated. But now that it's back up, let's move on!
CHAPTER - 8
"Fizzby!" Snape called out as he put on his cloak.
"Yes, Master Snape," replied the house-elf, appearing with a pop.
"Keep an eye on Elle, I need to leave urgently." He said as he opened the office door. Without looking back, he ran out, looking for the bane of his existence, Harry bloody Potter.
The Gryffindor Common Room was empty, its usual lively atmosphere replaced by an eerie stillness. Snape searched around the Black Lake, his sharp eyes scanning the area for any sign of the boy. It was raining though, Severus doubted whether Potter would sit out there in cold getting drenched. The library, typically a refuge for Potter these days, yielded no results. The Owlery and Astronomy Tower were similarly devoid of any traces.
Frustration mounting, Snape's mind raced with possibilities. Had Potter gone to Hogsmeade? The thought worried him—what if he got his hands on alcohol there? But surely Madame Rosmerta would not serve alcohol to a minor.
No, Potter was too distraught to leave the castle. He had to be here somewhere. Severus stalked the corridors, looking into every classroom and hidden nook. Each empty space amplified his concern and irritation. Where did the blasted boy go?
Damn it! With Albus gone, Severus was supposed to look after him and he lost him on the first day itself.
Severus hadn't realised that the boy would set off like that. He hadn't meant to come off so harsh. He had trusted the boy with the revelation of his daughter. The most important thing in his life. What else did he want? Sure, Severus had never hidden his animosity towards Potter, but the in past few days, he had started seeing the boy in a new light. He knew he was wrong about his pre conceptions, but he wasn't going to let them all go just in a week.
He huffed angrily as yet another portrait denied seeing Potter go anywhere. He rounded back to the fat lady's portrait after half an hour.
"Is he here, yet?" He asked her roughly.
"No." The Fat Lady said. "As I said before Severus, he left a while ago. He had his infamnous invisibility cloak on, mind you."
"When he returns, tell him to find me immediately." He said, anger seething through his teeth.
Severus tightened his fist as he made his way back to his quarters. It wasn't like him to be concerned about Potter. But the boy was distraught and Severus had no idea what he would do or where he would go.
"Elle!" Snape called as he entered his quarters, the anxiety in his voice softened by the familiar surroundings. He took a few calming breaths before going to her room.
Elle was asleep on the floor, surrounded by her toys, looking like she had gotten tired of playing and simply dozed off. Severus sighed as exhaustion and relief washed over him. Carefully, he picked her up, her small frame fitting snugly against his chest.
Now that Potter knew, he didn't need to keep her inside all day. He could finally take her out without the constant fear of exposure. Instead of putting her to bed, Severus carried her to the kitchen. He needed this moment, needed to be with her. Elle always gave him a sense of peace that he rarely found elsewhere. He rubbed her back soothingly as he prepared a small lunch for them with her on his hip.
Cooking had always been a solace for him. It was very much like brewing potions, requiring precision and patience, and it gave his mind some time to think. As he chopped vegetables and stirred a pot on the stove, he felt the tension of the day slowly melt away.
Elle stirred slightly, waking up and rubbing her eyes. "Daddy?" she mumbled sleepily.
"Yes," Snape replied softly and looked at her, kissing her forehead gently. "I'm here. Did you have a good nap?"
Elle nodded, resting her head on his shoulder as she watched him cook. "What are we making?"
"A simple lunch," he said, smiling at her curiosity. "How about some soup?"
She nodded again, more awake now and looking around the kitchen. Snape continued to prepare the meal, feeling a rare sense of contentment. For a while, the world outside didn't matter. It was just him and Elle, sharing a quiet moment together.
As they sat down to eat, Elle chattered about her day, the colors she had used in her drawings, and the stories she had imagined. Snape listened, his thoughts occasionally drifting back to Potter and the secret they now shared. It was a strange feeling, knowing that Harry Potter, of all people, knew about Elle. Yet, despite his initial anger and frustration, there was a small part of him that felt a sense of relief. He constantly kept an ear on the small alarm he had set up to know when someone knocked on his office.
"Daddy, can we go to the Quidditch pitch today?" Elle asked, breaking into his thoughts.
Severus looked at her, her bright eyes full of hope. "Yes, Elle. I think we can."
Her face lit up with a smile, and Snape felt a warmth spread through him.
After lunch, Severus had dressed Elle in warm clothes, her small yellow raincoat, and her green gumboots. He had instructed Fizzby to tell him immediately if Potter returned to his office. With his thick long black coat on and a black umbrella in hand, Severus now stood looking at the vast expanse of the Hogwarts grounds as Elle happily ran in the rain, her small boots splashing in the puddles. He smiled as her giggles reached his ears. He longed for such moments. A small part of him was still anxiously waiting for Potter to show up.
He was surprised when Potter hadn't asked if he could meet Elle. Maybe he understood that Severus would introduce her when he was comfortable.
"Dad, look!" Elle's excited voice broke through his thoughts.
Severus watched with amusement and disgust as Elle held up a frog in her small hands, her eyes wide with delight. She brought it over to him as if to give it to him.
"Elle, that is utterly dreadful," Severus said, his face scrunching up in distaste. "Let him go, at once."
"But you don't have a problem cutting up frogs for potions, Daddy," she shot back, giving him a mischievous look.
He gave her a small glare. "Because they are dead, you cheeky brat. Not alive and—Elle, he's struggling. Release him this instant," he said firmly.
Elle giggled but obediently let the frog go. "Bye bye, Mr. Froggy!"
Severus shook his head in amusement. The rain wasn't letting up. Scotland had its fair share of persistent rain, and today was no exception. He watched Elle dance around in the rain, her laughter a comforting sound against the backdrop of the storm. He conjured up a few paper boats for her to put in puddles and chuckled as she sunk a few of them and laughed.
Potter's outburst in his office had been unexpected and intense. For the first time, Snape saw beyond the image of James Potter's son, seeing instead a young man burdened with responsibilities and fears. Snape wondered where Potter had gone and if he was alright. Despite their differences, Snape couldn't help but feel a pang of concern.
"Professor."
Severus turned sharply at the voice. To his surprise, he saw Potter. He was standing a few feet behind Severus, soaked from the rain, his expression unreadable. His hands were buried in his pocket and irritation flooded through Severus as he realized the boy was just wearing a thin shirt and jeans, setting himself up for a nasty cold.
"Potter." Severus said, his earlier anger now making its way. He saw as Elle stopped playing and looked at both of them. "Keep playing, I'm right here." He told her. With a small hesitation in her actions, Elle continued her frolicking.
"You asked to see me?" Harry said as the rain pelted down on him.
"Potter, for god's sake you could have at least gotten an umbrella." Severus said as he pulled the boy towards him and covered him under his huge black one.
"I don't own one."
"You are a wizard with a wand. Conjure one." Severus said. "And where the hell were you, Potter?"
"I-I needed to clear my head." Harry answered. The cold wind blew and he shuddered. Severus quickly put a warming spell on the boy. He did not need an angsty and sick Potter on his hands.
Harry nodded a small thanks to him.
"I did not ask why you ran away, I asked where the hell were you?" Severus repeated, his one eye on Elle who had fallen down but got up without a hitch.
"Is that Elara?" Harry expertly dodged the man's question as he watched the small girl play. He couldn't see her face as she was wearing a big raincoat and they both were standing a little away from her.
"Yes." Severus said, begrudgingly letting his question go.
"She's cute," Harry said weakly, watching Elle with a faint smile. Severus looked at the boy, his eyes softening just slightly.
"Elle! Come here," he called, his voice firm yet gentle. The little girl was digging something in the ground with a stick she had found. She quickly got up and trotted over to her father and Harry.
"Elle, this is Mr. Potter." He introduced him. "He is a student of mine. He shall be staying in the castle for the summer."
Elle's eyes lit up as she looked at Harry. She threw her stick down and pushed her small hand forward.
"I'm Elara or Elle." She said with a sweet smile. Harry, forgetting all his feelings of sadness, crouched down to her level. She was like a mini copy of Snape but with the sweetest smile Harry had ever seen. It was really like a dream, or a nightmare, to meet his professor's child.
"Hi Elara," Harry said as he shook her small hand. "I am Harry. Nice to meet you."
"You are wet, Harry. Daddy will scold you if you get a cold." She said with a small frown.
Harry chuckled as Snape glared at the girl. "Well, he does scold people a lot, doesn't he?"
"Potter." Snape warned as Elle giggled at Harry. "Come, let's go in. The weather is getting worse. I don't think anyone here wants to get sick."
Harry nodded and stood up. Harry watched as Snape carefully opened a small umbrella for Elle and promptly gave Harry a look which stopped him from venturing out of Snape's bigger black one. As the three of them started walking towards the castle, Harry was surprised when Elle all but put her small hand in his and skipped.
He smiled at the top of her umbrella, not noticing the sudden warmth spreading through him. The tension and heaviness that had weighed on him seemed to lighten as he walked alongside Elle, the rain drumming steadily on their umbrellas.
Elara, or Elle as she introduced herself, chattered happily about the different creatures she had seen on the grounds earlier that day, occasionally asking Harry questions about himself as if he were an old friend. Harry found himself answering her with genuine interest, the child's innocence and curiosity infectious.
Snape walked beside them, with an undecipherable expression on his face. He wanted to grill Potter about where he was for the past 2 hours. Unbeknownst to him, he had shown a few feelings of concern between all the rage and anger.
They reached the castle entrance, and soon near Snape's office. Snape ushered Elle inside quickly. Elle immediately scampered off towards her father's desk, opening all his drawers and rummaging through them to find something which would appeal to her. That left Harry and Snape alone in the hallway. Harry shuddered as another wave of cold ran through him. He needed to change into some dry clothes.
"Thank you," Harry said sincerely, breaking the silence between them. "For introducing me and letting me spend time with her. She's... she's really something."
Snape nodded, his expression guarded but not unappreciative. "She has her moments."
There was a pause, awkward yet filled with unspoken understanding. Snape seemed to be at odds with himself, caught between his usual aloofness and a flicker of something softer.
"Professor, I'm really sorry for my outburst earlier." Harry said guardedly. Severus could see the swollen red eyes and he knew something had happened. "I shouldn't have yelled at you that way, nor should I have stormed out."
Severus nodded at him. "Potter, I trusted you with the secret of my daughter for a reason." He said. "It wasn't just because you were in the castle. There was a lot of thought put into it."
"I wouldn't expect otherwise, Sir." Harry said. "You don't have to worry. Your secret's safe with me."
Severus looked at the boy and could see that he meant his words. Maybe there was hope for Potter after all.
"Right then," Harry sniffed. "I guess I'll leave you to it." He said turned around to leave.
"Make sure you be here after dinner, Potter." Severus said firmly from behind him.
"Sure, Professor." Harry drawled as he kept on walking with a small shake of his head.
/
The next day Harry groaned as he woke up. His head was killing him and his nose was stuffy. Snape was right, he should have taken an umbrella.
After taking a quick hot shower and drinking a steaming cup of tea, Harry put on a jumper and made his way towards the dungeons for his usual check ins.
He drudged himself down the stairs and stopped for a second near the Entrance Hall and the entrance of the castle. The dark clouds were still swirling dangerously in the sky above and Harry sneezed.
Ugh, he would need to get a pepper up from Snape.
He continued his trek down the stairs in the dungeons and finally reached Snape's office. A small smile graced his lips as he heard Elle's voice coming from inside. He knocked softly and wondered if Snape would give him a cup of his coffee. His coffee was far better than the Hogwarts' one.
Harry grinned as Elle yelled 'Enter'.
He opened the door and saw Snape sitting in one of the chairs where usually the students sat while his own larger one was occupied by his little girl.
"Good morning, Professors Snape." He teased Elle who giggled as he gave a small nod to Snape who rolled his eyes.
"Good morning, Harry!" Elle chirped.
Snape was eyeing him critically as Harry came and stood beside the desk to take a look at what Elle was doing.
"Wow, Professor Elara, what do you got planned for us for next term?" He said lightly as he saw Elle draw various shapes on the papers.
Snape's eyes widened just a bit and he instantly leaned over to take a look at what Elle was going.
"Elle!" He scolded and snatched the papers from under her. "You are drawing on all my lesson plans. I gave you another notebook for all your scribbles."
Elle pouted as Snape muttered to himself and tried to see if his lesson plans could still be saved. Harry snickered as Elle looked at him with a mischievous grin. He envied her a little at that moment. There was not even a trace of fear on the girl's face as Snape scolded her lightly. Harry did not know Snape was capable of such gentleness.
He was also surprised at Snape. If it was some other student, or God forbid Harry, Snape would have gone mental and he would have been at the end of a very harsh verbal lashing and would probably be scrubbing cauldrons for the next 2 weeks. It felt surreal to watch him like this with his daughter.
Harry suddenly turned around and sneezed in his arm.
"Bless you, Harry!" Elle said as Snape looked at the boy with a grimace.
"You look terrible, Potter." He commented and watched as Harry sniffed and coughed a little.
"Yeah, I think it was the rain." He said, his voice a little stuffy.
"Of course it was the rain, Potter." Snape sneered as he got up and moved to his cabinets.
He took out a bottle of pink potion and roughly handed it to Harry. "Pepper-up."
Harry looked at him gratefully and chugged the whole thing down. He didn't grimace at the taste. It felt a lot like the cheap whiskey he and Jerome usually chugged down on weekends. He sighed and winced as steam emitted from his ears, a sign that the potion was working.
Elle laughed at him and Snape smirked. Harry rolled his eyes as he put the bottle down.
"Thanks, Professor." He said softly.
"Harry, do you like to draw?" Elle asked him.
Harry shrugged. "I was never really good at it, I suppose."
"I like it." She spoke. Harry could see that from the different colors of crayons that were scattered all over the desk. "You should color with me sometimes."
She was a very innocent and cute child and had an extremely infectious smile.
"I would like that very much." Harry nodded.
"Harry, you fly, right?" Elle asked him innocently. Snape narrowed his eyes at her, but let her talk as he continued working on his papers.
"I do."
"Are you any good?"
"I like to think I am." Harry said and shifted in his chair. Children can really ask weird questions sometimes.
Snape snorted at his answer.
"Dad says you do really stupid and death def-" Elle scrunched up her nose. "Defo…what was that word, Dad?"
"Defying." Snape supplied as Harry glared at the man. "And we do not say words like stupid, Elle."
"Yeah! Death defying stunts." She spoke and conveniently ignore latter part of Snape's sentence. "Do you?"
Harry blinked at her. "No, I don't. Professor Snape just thinks that because…I don't think he understands quidditch." He whispered the last part towards Elle with a hand put up against his mouth shielding it from Snape.
"I heard that, Potter." Snape said without looking up. "If you don't want to be scrubbing cauldrons for the rest of the holidays, I would suggest you stop talking."
Harry could feel there was no real threat in his words and grinned at the man before freezing for a second. Was he really joking with Severus Snape? He shook his head a little and cleared his throat.
"Anyways, will you teach me how to fly, Harry?" She looked at him with hopeful eyes, her bottom lip protruded out.
"Uh…" Harry looked at her. "I guess, if it's okay with your Da-with Professor Snape." He looked at the man who was looking at both of them with a blank expression before raising at eyebrow at Elle.
"It is absolutely not."
Elle groaned and put her head down on the table.
"Be aware, Potter. Those eyes and that little pout usually has malicious intentions behind them." Snape said as he watched Elle chuck a small crayon at him. "Elle, we do not throw things." He warned her lightly.
Harry suddenly felt like he was intruding on the little family. He felt a little…out of place. However, there was a small part of him that longed to stay there. To watch Elle and Snape and be included with them. But he knew better than that. He never had a family, he had Sirius for a little while, but other than that, he knew he could never have one.
"Harry, you alright?" Elle's voice brought him to the present.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He said quickly and got up. "I guess I should go." He looked at Snape who was watching him with some kind of unreadable expression. "Thank you for the potion, Professor."
Snape nodded at him. "I'll give you another one after dinner. That should help you get rid of all the symptoms." He spoke.
"Why are you leaving so soon, Harry?" Elle complained, her small face scrunching up in disappointment.
"Elle, Mr. Potter has other responsibilities besides sitting and playing with you all day," Snape said, his voice stern but not unkind. "Additionally, he is sick and must rest for the whole day." He said the last part while looking towards Harry who just nodded his head.
Elle looked at Harry with sad eyes. "Alright."
Harry felt a pang of guilt at seeing her so disappointed. "I'll be back after dinner," he promised, hoping to cheer her up. "Maybe we can play then, okay?"
Elle's face lit up with a brilliant smile. "I'll show you my toys, Harry!"
"Make sure you clean them up later if you want to spread them all over the floor," Snape said firmly, though there was a hint of amusement in his tone.
"You're just saying that because you sat on my elephant," Elle pointed out with a mischievous grin.
Harry quickly covered up his laugh with a cough as Snape shot him a glare. "I'm looking forward to it, Elle," he said, smiling down at her. "And I promise to bring something fun we can do together."
"That sounds great!" Elle's eyes sparkled with excitement.
"Now, off you go, Potter," Snape said, his tone softening ever so slightly. "Do try not to get any sicker."
Harry nodded. "Yes, Professor. See you both after dinner."
As he left Snape's quarters, he could hear Elle's cheerful chatter to her father, and he couldn't help but smile. Despite the unexpected circumstances, he felt a warmth he hadn't realized he was missing. He headed back through the dimly lit corridors, his mind replaying the events of the past day.
The rain outside was relentless, drumming against the castle walls in a steady rhythm. Harry pulled his jumper tighter around himself as he walked, his thoughts drifting back to Elle and the surprising glimpse of Snape's softer side. He had never imagined Snape as a father, but seeing him with Elle had changed his perspective.
He reached the Gryffindor common room and made his way to his dormitory and collapsed onto his bed. As he lay there, listening to the rain and the distant thunder, he found himself looking forward to dinner and the promise he had made to Elle.
Despite his cold, he felt a small urge to smoke. He opened the window and lit a cigarette, enjoying the view from the tower.
/
Dumbledore's trip had been extended by a few days. It had been almost a week since Snape had told Harry about Elle. Harry promptly reached his office every day after breakfast and dinner. The visits were initially to tell Snape what he was going to do and where would be for the rest of the day, but they soon turned out to be little play dates for Harry and Elle. Harry often found the girl lounging in Snape's chair, playing, coloring, reading or simply watching Snape do his work.
After a week of knowing her and Snape, Harry was astounded by the man's patience and gentleness with his daughter. Well, it was natural, but Harry had never seen him like that. It was surreal to look at the man listening to his daughter's ramblings about hippogriff poop when he couldn't even listen to a student answer in his class with a slightly shaky voice.
Harry learned that during the holidays, Snape took the opportunity to educate Elle on all things magic. He taught her a little bit about history, he took walks with her and showed her different plants planted by Madame Sprout. He even got her a book about the different creatures which were found in the wizarding world and sat with her sometimes while she attempted to read it.
The girl was interested in books, and Severus was extremely pleased at that. He let her sit in sometimes while he brewed potions, educating her on different ingredients and even letting her stir sometimes.
She was a natural at potions, obviously. Severus would have been concerned if she wasn't. In a small part of his heart, he wished that she followed his footsteps and become a Potions Mistress. However not at Hogwarts, maybe somewhere else where her skills won't be wasted on inept dunderheads.
Currently, Severus was cutting up some ingredients and telling Elle about the different properties of monkshood while she sat on a small stool beside him. Her height was still small and she stretched her body fully to see what Severus was doing. He reached out a hand and stopped her from standing on the rickety stool she was currently occupying.
"I can't see!" She huffed as she sat back.
"I don't think you want to see me defiling flobberworms." Severus said with a look.
"Worms?" Elle's eyes widened. "Ew dad, do people really drink these?"
Severus raised an eyebrow at her. "There are many ingredients that people drink in potions which I don't think you need to know."
Elle scrunched up her small nose and dangled her legs.
A small knock sounded on the office door and Elle instantly leapt up and got off the stool.
"Enter." Snape called out.
Harry entered cautiously, his eyes falling on Elle first.
"Harry!" Elle said and ran to him and hugged his legs.
"Hey, Elara." Harry said with a grin as he patted her back. For the first time in weeks Harry felt something in him which gave him happiness. The girl was so excited to see him, she hugged him. When was the last time someone had hugged him in excitement and not in sympathy?
"Potter."
Harry looked up at the man and nodded in greeting as he took Elara's hand and walked up to his work station.
"Professor, what are you brewing?" Harry asked curiously.
"Skele-Gro," Snape replied, smirking as Harry grimaced.
"Pleasant memories?" he drawled sarcastically.
"Oh yes, very. I loved the limp hand," Harry said, his tone equally sarcastic.
"Limp hand? What's a limp hand?" Elle asked from beside him.
Harry brought up his hand, folded it awkwardly, and let it go limp. He then waved it around in a comically exaggerated manner. Elle dissolved into fits of laughter, clutching her sides as she giggled uncontrollably.
"That's a limp hand." Harry told her and Snape rolled his eyes and concentrated on his potion. He didn't mind having Potter around his daughter. Elle was surprisingly very open with the boy and enjoyed his company, who was Severus to deny her of that?
"Daddy, can Harry sit with me for a while?" Elle asked him. Harry looked at man, not sure if he would say yes or no.
But Snape simply nodded at the girl. "You got your toys to show him." He reminded her.
Her eyes widened as she practically dragged Harry to Snape's desk in the office which had a plethora of animals – magical and non-magical, some building blocks, art supplies, wizarding chess set for kids and some puzzles.
"Wow Elara, those are a lot of toys." He spoke. He never really had any toys, seeing Elara's instantly made him a little sad as he looked at them wistfully. If only he had someone in his childhood who actually cared for him.
"Yeah, and I got lots more." Elle said as she climbed on Snape's chair. Harry took his usual seat and watched as the girl introduced him to all her animals.
He missed it when Snape looked up from his Potion and almost smiled at the scene. The man was happy for Elle. She finally had someone to talk to, someone to play with, and surprisingly, Potter was handling her very well.
Snape watched as Harry interacted with Elle, helping her pronounce a few names she got wrong. Harry took a genuine interest in her talks and her toys. Snape knew that most boys Harry's age would likely sneer at little kids or only tolerate them for the sake of a professor. But Harry—somewhere, Snape deciphered the look of longing on his face when he looked at the girl.
For half an hour, Elle chattered on about her toys, even making a tower with her blocks alongside Harry. She was now sitting on his lap as he read a Muggle bedtime story to her. Snape had gone to the ingredients' cabinet about ten minutes ago and had yet to return. The man seemed comfortable enough to leave Elle alone with Harry. Plus, he wasn't that far away, so Harry guessed it was fine. But whatever it was, Harry felt a strange warm sensation in his stomach—the knowledge that his professor trusted him enough to look after his daughter.
Harry stopped reading as he noticed Elle's eyes were closed, her head resting on his chest. He set the book aside and gently pulled her close. He was rewarded when the girl snaked her arms around his neck and sighed comfortably.
Harry froze in his seat as he held the girl. A rush of unfamiliar emotions washed over him. He had never experienced this kind of physical affection. The Dursleys had always made it clear he was unwanted, a burden. Hugs and comforting touches were foreign to him. But now, holding Elle as she slept, he felt an overwhelming sense of warmth and belonging.
This small act of trust and affection made him feel wanted. Elle's tiny arms wrapped around his neck conveyed more love and acceptance than he had ever known. Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes, and tried to blink them away, not wanting to disturb the peaceful moment.
As he sat there, cradling the sleeping girl, Harry realized that this was probably what family felt like. It was a simple, profound connection that made him feel safe and valued.
The office door opened slowly and Snape entered. He saw Harry cradling his daughter and stopped on spot. Potter was oblivious to his presence, and Severus watched as a tear slowly made its way down his cheek.
He moved closer cautiously and put a hesitant but gentle hand on the boy's shoulder.
"Potter." Harry didn't shift but slowly looked up.
Snape tightened his jaw as he saw the tears and the pain in those familiar green eyes. He watched as the boy gently held Elle as she slept peacefully, her hands around his neck.
"P-professor." Harry said shakily. He cursed himself for his vulnerability. He removed one hand from around Elle and wiped his eyes, well aware that Snape was watching his move. He sniffed before looked at the man again. "She…uh fell asleep while we were reading the book. I hope that's okay."
Snape nodded. "That's the whole purpose of a bed time story, Potter."
Harry gave the man a sheepish smile and stood up with the girl. Snape slowly reached out and gently plucked her from the boy.
Harry suddenly felt cold as the small body was taken away from him. In just a week's time, Elle had made him feel so many emotions that he never knew he was capable of feeling. She had shown him a love that he never knew existed.
"I-I should leave." Harry said as he again felt his eyes about to water.
"No, Potter." Snape said firmly as he gently patted Elle's back. "Come, follow me."
Harry looked at him sceptically as the man turned on his heels. He walked to the other side of his office to a narrow door which said 'Cleaning supplies.'
He opened the door and to Harry's surprise it led to a small passageway to his quarters.
"But-" he spluttered as he followed the man. "There were always cleaning supplies in that closet!" Harry knew that because he himself had opened it numerous times to get some rags or soap during detention.
"Magic, Potter." Snape said with a smirk. "Sit, I will be back."
Harry watched as the man disappeared down a small corridor and into a room, probably to put Elle to bed. Harry took the opportunity to look around Snape's quarters. Contrary to the cold, imposing image Snape usually projected, the living quarters had a surprisingly warm and cozy atmosphere.
Soft, enchanted lamps cast a gentle, warm glow over the room. The walls were lined with tall bookshelves, crammed with an eclectic mix of books—everything from advanced potion-making texts to Muggle literature and fairy tales. A well-worn armchair with a knitted throw draped over the back sat near a modest fireplace, which was currently not lit.
A dark wooden coffee table, scarred with age and use, stood as the centrepiece of the room. It was covered with an assortment of items: a teapot with delicate cups, a small stack of parchment, and a half-completed crossword puzzle.
Heavy drapes were partially drawn over an enchanted window which probably projected the grounds of the castle. A small potted plant sat on the windowsill, its leaves a vibrant green, adding a touch of life to the room. Scattered around were a few framed photographs—a rare sight, Harry thought. One showed a young Severus in a white half sleeved t shirt and black pants holding a small baby which could only be Elle; Harry snorted as he noticed the man was glaring at the baby while Elle cried and pulled on his hair. Another, more recent, captured Elle smiling broadly, her eyes sparkling as she grinned, showing a missing tooth.
The girl's presence was evident in the room as well. A small, colorful blanket lay crumpled on the sofa, alongside a well-loved stuffed animal. A child's drawing, featuring a stick-figure family with "Daddy and Elle" written in wobbly letters, was proudly displayed on the mantelpiece. On the coffee table, next to Snape's crossword puzzle, were a few scattered building blocks and a half-finished puzzle.
The overall effect was one of understated comfort. It was clear that while Snape valued order and discipline, he also cherished his private space, making it a sanctuary from the outside world. Elle's things added a touch of warmth and liveliness, reflecting the bond between father and daughter.
As Harry took it all in, he felt a deeper sense of understanding for his enigmatic professor. This room, so different from the austere classrooms and dungeons, revealed a side of Snape that few ever saw. It was a place of refuge, filled with personal touches that spoke of a life beyond the stern Potions Master persona.
As Harry looked around Snape's quarters, he couldn't help but feel a pang of longing. The cozy, lived-in atmosphere spoke of a life filled with small comforts and familial warmth—something he had never known. The worn armchair, the puzzle and especially Elle's scattered toys and drawings, all pointed to a home where a child was loved and cherished.
Harry's gaze lingered on Elle's colorful blanket and the stuffed animals on the sofa. He thought about his own childhood, spent in the cramped cupboard under the stairs at the Dursleys'. There had been no soft blankets or toys for him—only the bare minimum needed to survive. He remembered the endless chores, the constant insults, and the ever-present feeling of not belonging.
The drawing on the mantelpiece made his heart ache. He had never drawn a picture like that, never had a reason to. His world had been one of neglect and isolation, not of love and security. He couldn't help but envy as well as be thankful for Elle, who had a father who cared enough to display her artwork proudly, even if that father was Snape.
As Harry moved around the room, he felt a lump form in his throat. He longed for the simple joys of childhood, the sense of safety. He wished he could have had someone to read him bedtime stories, to build block towers with him, to hold him when he felt scared or lonely. In this small, warm space, Harry saw the childhood he had always dreamed of but never received.
Snape re-entered the room, and Harry's thoughts were interrupted. He quickly masked his emotions, not wanting to reveal his inner turmoil. But as he glanced around the cozy quarters one last time, he couldn't shake the feeling of loss.
"Potter, take a seat." Snape said as he sat down on the armchair.
Harry pushed Elle's toys aside and sat on the sofa. He looked at Snape who was watching him with his legs crossed and hands steepled in front of him. This was the first time Harry was interacting with Snape alone after the day he had revealed about his daughter. Since then, Elle had always been around and Harry's attention was always on the girl.
He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. "Professor, why did you ask me here?" He asked finally.
"Something is not right, Potter." Snape said, his voice measuring and his gaze piercing.
Harry frowned. "What do you mean, sir?"
"There are things you're hiding," Snape replied, his tone sharp. "Things you think you can keep from everyone. But secrets have a way of revealing themselves, especially in this castle."
Harry stiffened, his heart racing. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Did Snape know he smoked? Sure, Harry had sneaked out of the castle at night once to go to Old Jack to get another box of cigarettes after he had finished with his earlier one. But that was almost at midnight and Harry knew Snape would not check on him at midnight, surely.
"Don't play coy with me, Potter," Snape snapped, leaning forward. "Your behavior—it's different. You're more withdrawn, more… guarded."
Harry clenched his fists, anger bubbling up. "Why do you care?" he retorted. "You've never cared before."
Snape's eyes flashed, but he maintained his composure. "I may not have shown it, Potter, but I am not as oblivious as you think. I know what it's like to hide pain, to bury it deep. It's not healthy, and it will only lead to more suffering."
Harry looked away, his jaw tight. "I'm fine," he said tersely.
"No, you're not," Snape countered, his voice softening slightly but still firm. "You're far from fine. And until you acknowledge whatever it is you're hiding; you'll never be able to move forward."
"Why does it matter to you?" Harry shot back. "Why now? Why does everyone want to suddenly care about me now?"
Snape exhaled slowly, his eyes never leaving Harry's. "Because I've seen what happens to those who let their demons fester. And I've seen the damage it causes—not just to themselves, but to those around them."
Harry gave a short laugh. "Well, I'm lucky I don't have anyone close to me or around me."
"Don't be dramatic, Potter. That's not true and you know it." Snape said as he leaned back in his chair. "You have Granger, Lupin and practically the whole Weasley clan."
Harry grabbed the stuffed dragon that was beside him and fidgeted with it.
"I know." He said, his anger calmed down. "But I don't want to burden them. They have their own families, Snape. I can't possibly drag them into all this more than they already are."
Severus looked as the boy played with the dragon, squeezing its tail and petting its head. The signs pointed to a lot of things which Severus refused to acknowledge. But he had to.
"Why did you send me that letter, Potter?" He asked suddenly. The boy looked at him abruptly and shrugged, his eyes not meeting his.
"You have a mouth, use it." Severus said tightly.
"I don't know why. I just…" Harry licked his lips. God, he wanted a smoke right now. "I felt that I had wronged you and I needed to apologise."
"In your inebriated state?" Severus raised an eyebrow.
Harry cleared his throat. "Well, yeah. I'm sure you know that alcohol makes you make bad decision."
Severus narrowed his eyes. "Were you really drunk, Potter?"
Harry narrowed his eyes. What was Snape playing at?
"Of course I was. I admitted it. Why else, in my right mind, would I send that letter?" Harry defended himself.
"So, you were only sorry because you were drunk?"
"I-" Harry frowned. "You're playing with words, sir. If not that letter, I would have apologised to you personally after the school started."
Snape snorted. "I don't believe that."
Harry rolled his eyes. "Well, believe what you want." He muttered darkly, not wanting to get into a debate.
"Have you had a drink since you came to Hogwarts?" Snape was directly going for it now.
"No!" Harry said instantly as some anger seeped into his words. He hadn't, that was true. "I am not an addict!"
Snape sighed and relaxed a little. He was glad with Potter's reaction. The boy's reactions gave away the truth always. And currently, Severus was sure he was telling the truth about the alcohol. But there was something else…and Severus couldn't point what it was.
"Potter…" He started before closing his eyes. "Harry."
Harry's eyes snapped at him and widened. This was the first time in his life that he had heard Snape address him by his first name. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.
"I know there is more to you than you show." Snape continued. "I know your life hasn't been the easiest."
Harry's heart was beating faster and faster in his chest.
"However, I hope you will make better decisions than most." Snape stopped. "Than me." He added softly.
Harry looked at him, baffled.
"Than you?" He asked slowly.
"Potter, my bad decision is always with me ingrained on my left forearm." Severus said and subconsciously rubbed his Dark Mark.
Then it struck Harry. Like a lightening.
"You think…just because I suffered a little at the hands of the Dursley's, I'm going to go to the bad side?" He asked the man.
"No, Potter." Severus shook his head. "I fear you will lose yourself so much that you will forget that there is a good and a bad side."
Harry looked at him and gulped. He put the dragon aside and put his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward.
"We've all got light and dark inside us." He said suddenly, parroting Sirius' words from a few months ago. "It's the part that we choose to act on. That's who we are."
Snape didn't react but waited as he watched the boy.
"Sirius said that to me." Harry said and rubbed a hand over his face.
"Wise words coming from him." Snape muttered.
Harry gave a short laugh. "Yeah…they were. Surprised me too."
They sat in silence for a minute before Harry spoke up.
"Sir, can I ask you something? I don't wish to beat around the bush or just listen to what the rumours say."
Snape frowned. "What, Potter?"
"I don't want to hear things from Dumbledore. I want to hear it from you." Harry took a deep breath. "Forgive me if I go too far, but…are you still loyal to Voldemort?"
Snape didn't react to the question as Harry thought he would. He had expected glares, sneers, and angry words. However, the man just rubbed a hand over his face.
"Potter, what do you think?"
Harry scrunched up his face. What did he think? He shook his head. "Well, a month ago I would have called you a few colorful names and would have sworn over every inch of my life and say that you are still loyal to him. However, the way I have seen you over the past few weeks, I think you are not."
"I have a daughter; do you think I would want to raise her forever like this? In the shadows?" Snape said as he looked at Harry with a look of determination. "There is a lot you don't know, Potter, and it might be for the best."
"Well, last year I was kept in the dark and that cost me Sirius." Harry said angrily. "I don't want to a repeat of that."
Snape shook his head. "Whilst I agree with you over what happened last year was not right, I do not believe you should be privy to all and everything, Potter. You too, are after all, a child."
Harry suppressed his rage and tightened his fist.
"I deserve to know the truth, Snape." He gritted out.
"You must rest assured that you know everything that concerns you." Harry did not believe the man for even a second. He didn't want to get into an argument though and hence, kept quiet.
"What if I don't?"
"The headmaster and I are there if any such situation arises."
Harry nodded. "So, no one knows about this, do they? You spying?"
Snape shook his head. "No one needs to know. My life and Elle's life hangs in the balance. Only the headmaster and now you."
"The Order-"
"The Order does not trust me, and that's exactly how it should be for the Dark Lord to trust me."
Harry let out a shuddered breath. Snape outrightly admitted that he was a spy and only 3 people on this whole planet knew about it, including himself. That was a little too heavy of a burden to bear.
"It's a dangerous game you play, Snape." Harry said, not realizing that he kept calling the man Snape. The man too, did not seem to mind under the current circumstances.
"Well, such is life." Snape said with a short shrug. In that moment, Harry realized that Snape too was pretty young. He was his parents' age and he was already handling so much. He had a daughter, he held 1000 secrets and he was a spy. From all angles, the man was absolutely and positively fucked. People his age usually had friends, had a social life, but Snape had other worries, far more dangerous than others.
"Why?" Harry asked in a soft voice.
Snape raised an eyebrow. "Have you lost your ability to communicate clearly?"
"I meant- Why do you do this?" Harry asked. "Why not just take your kid and run away to some remote corner of the world. Just be safe and keep her safe. You don't owe anyone anything. Why continue doing this?"
"It is not as easy as it seems, Potter." Snape said after a while and Harry swore that he saw a ghost of a sad smile on the man's face. "There are many things…many words and many promises to keep. While what you suggested has crossed my mind numerous times and still does, I cannot follow through with it. It is not ideal for me to run away…like a-"
"Coward?" Harry finished for him. "I think I understand that."
Snape sighed. If the boy understood even half of the things Snape was saying, the man would keel over in shock. He knew Potter had seen more than any boy his age should, however revealing all of his story especially with Lily was not something Severus thought Potter should know.
"It's hard for me." Harry spoke roughly after a minute.
"Excuse me?"
"It's hard for me." Harry repeated. "To see you like this."
"Like what?" Snape asked, unbothered.
"To see you as a…father." Harry whispered the last part. "It just never crossed my mind that you can be so gentle. When I see you with her, I can't believe it."
Snape nodded. "There is a saying that I've heard Muggles use. Fatherhood changes a person."
Harry snorted as Snape smirked.
"Sir…can I ask you for a favour?"
"Am I going to regret it?"
Harry thought for a second. "I don't know."
"Let's hear it, then."
"When the term starts…can I still meet Elara?"
Harry knew it was almost a month before Hogwarts started again, but he just needed a reassurance.
Snape watched the boy fidget. "I don't think even I am capable enough to deny her what she wants, Potter."
A small smile played on Harry lips.
"Let me warn you, once Elle gets attached to someone, she doesn't let them go so easily." He spoke. "And she seems to have taken … quite a liking to you."
Harry grinned. "She's wonderful."
"She has that effect on people." Snape said.
They sat in silence for a while before Snape broke it.
"I see you have been reading about defence and training yourself." It was a statement, so Harry wasn't sure how to respond.
"Yes." He said nonchalantly. "I figured that the war is inevitable. I need to be stronger than I am to pitch a fight against him."
Snape nodded slowly, his face contemplating.
"You need practical lessons." He spoke. Again, it was a statement.
"Yeah, well, maybe 6th year Defence classes would help." Harry shrugged.
"Potter, are you being daft intentionally?" Severus rolled his eyes. "I know 6th year defence. It is nothing compared to what you should be learning."
Harry bit his lip. He wasn't sure what the man was getting at. Who else would train him? Unless-
"You're asking if you can train me?" He asked, shocked.
Snape leaned forward. His eyes serious.
"If you want, I can spare some of my time, Potter."
"Why?" Harry asked, genuinely confused.
"If you keep on questioning everything I do, we will never get anywhere, boy." Snape huffed. "But, however, to indulge you, because Potter you have actually shown some interest and are putting efforts into learning. I can never deny a good student."
Harry watched the man carefully, trying to gauge if this was a trick. Snape was skilled, no doubt in that. The man had been after the Defence Position since years and being on both the Light and Dark side meant that the man knew the fighting style of both. He was the best person who could train Harry.
"Did Dumbledore put you up to this?" He asked cautiously.
Snape exhaled irritably. "He would be…ecstatic when he finds out, but currently, no. This is just me…obliging." He offered.
Harry didn't know whether to laugh or run out of the door. What was next? Snape wearing a 'Kiss the chef' apron and flipping burgers for Harry?
Unable to form any words, Harry just nodded.
"I take that as a yes." Snape said.
"Why are you helping me, Professor?" Harry asked quiet after a while.
"Must we go through this again, Potter." Snape said exasperatedly. "I told you, if you keep on questioning my actions, we will get nowhere."
"You've hated me from the start." Harry continued as if Snape hadn't spoken. "You hated me so much that I in turn started hating you."
Severus felt a pang of guilt at the boy's words. He wasn't lying. If Severus had been a little bit good with the boy, maybe things would have been different.
"What, are expecting an apology?" He said gruffly.
Harry stared at him. He suddenly wanted to tell him everything. He wanted to empty his whole pot of emotions right there in front of the man. He wanted to tell him about the smoking, drinking, about the thoughts he had had some nights when he just wanted to be…non-existent. Just disappear. Or maybe die.
But he didn't.
He kept quiet. He wasn't sure if he was ready to let it all go. To tell someone else how he felt. It was personal. It was Harry's.
Instead, he got up. "I-I should leave." He said suddenly.
Snape sighed. Whenever things got intense, Potter had acquired this new habit of suddenly leaving.
Even though he wanted to rattle the boy and pry it out of him whatever he was hiding, Severus knew it was impossible. He too got up and nodded.
"Take the floo." He said simply and Potter moved towards the grate.
Before he could throw in the floo powder, Harry turned around, the powder falling from his fist slightly.
"You know, I really hope I kill Voldemort."
"We all do, Mr. Potter." Severus said, not really understanding where Harry was going with this.
"No." Harry shook his head. "Not like that. I hope I do it for Elara's sake…and for you." He said and smiled as he said the next words. "I think I like you better as her father than as Professor Snape."
And with that, Harry quickly threw in the powder and vanished in the grate, leaving behind a frozen Severus Snape.
A/N: Leave a review if you like it or have any ideas or comments!