Chapter Eighteen: All Better

28th August 2005

Harry's POV

I looked to the sound of the loud pop of apparition nearby, expecting it for the last hour. Ky's hair whipped in the wind, so dark it camouflaged with my black cloak she had taken without permission, and I couldn't even be angry at her about that, afterall, I'd rather she didn't prance around in just my shirt.

I was however, surprised by her redhead companion. We were just hours away from the wedding, and I thought Ron was meant to be working on his vows.

I heard footsteps to my right, but didn't panic, recognising the custom made cologne.

"Well, I'm glad to find that it's not just my instructions you ignore completely." Roger's blue eyes were staring deep into the side of my head, but I didn't take my eyes off Ky and Ron.

"If I recall she said not to worry, and that you shouldn't say where she was going, technically, she didn't ask me to stay away." I knew this was a strawman argument, Ky clearly implied that she needed space, and at any other time, I'd have given just that to her, but…my fist tightened over the folder in my hand, and I traced calming patterns about my wrist.

Roger sighed, but remained silent, and I was grateful for that. I didn't want common sense right now, I don't really know what I wanted, feeling frustrated and confused and tired of it all…

The folder fluttered as my hands shook, my body processing anger that my mind did not want to comprehend. We had just gotten to a good place, and now, once again, I felt a niggling sense of betrayal… of deceit.

I took a deep breath, restraining myself from charging forward, knowing as justifiably angry I was…if I got close to her right now, my fury will fold, and I'd go all in on comfort, because how could I not, standing where we were?

So I remained still, choosing anger.

With a snap, Ron disapparated, and Ky stood alone, her arms folded about herself, staring up at the large house in front of her.

Hogsmeade village was quiet for a Sunday, I suppose a lot of their inhabitants were off doing school shopping, which worked in our favour since Ky was very much exposed, standing alone in the middle of the street.

Fifteen minutes went by, and she hadn't moved a muscle, and with each second my anger dissipated.

I walked forward, stopping when I was just behind her.

People had taken to calling it Thornton House, even though it was public knowledge they had changed their last names to Dumbledore the very night they were murdered, on Ky's birthday no less. Hermione said the name had to do with the vines of roses that ensnared the walls of the three story building, and covered every inch of the large circular garden that surrounded the house, the back of it opening into the forest that framed the village itself.

The floral artwork wasn't my doing, current Hogwarts students, and villagers had done this in honour of the sacrifices the Dumbledores' had made.

"She loved roses." I edged closer, sensing the tremble in Ky's voice, "She made a joke once, that if they had a daughter, she'd name her Rose, because it would be funny. Rose Thornton."

I hadn't known that about Agnes Dumbledore, and wondered if Ky's claim that her alias had been chosen purely on the basis of keeping a low profile may have been a half-truth. Afterall, Linus had been more father than brother to Ky, and I witnessed firsthand Agnes' maternal love for her.

"I've stood in this exact spot before. Twice actually. Before I left… The last time I was here, I imagined I could see Nessie cooking in the kitchen, and Len playing the piano and Linus gardening. You know he liked gardening, he didn't get to do it much but he could spend hours trimming hedges, he even learnt how to do fancy shapes."

I stepped closer to her, and she did the same, "What were you doing?"

"Nessie has me doing some chore, picking lemons for fresh lemonade or something just as ridiculous, and I whinge a lot, pretending to hate doing it, but I love being outside with Linus, and listening to Len play. I make faces at him through the window. And the lemons…they remind me of Nonno."

"Sherbet lemons." I mutter.

She nods, "He had six robes that featured lemons. And the one hat." She swallowed, her face surprisingly dry despite the delicate nature of her voice, "So when I walk in there, they're going to be more dead than they ever have been. Which I know, is dumb, there's no levels to death, you're either dead, or not, and they're dead. I know that. They're dead."

My hand found hers, not trying to rationalise her thoughts right now, but wanting to comfort her. She clutched my hand, pulling it up to hold to her chest almost like a child cuddling a stuffed animal and I adjusted my position to allow her this, my other hand finding her left shoulder, enclosing her in my arms from behind.

Without letting go of my hand at her chest, she walked forward, entering the home she never got to live in.

I followed quietly in her wake, watching as she crossed the entrance hall, the enchanted chandelier dancing about above our heads, weaving different structures picked from our very imagination itself.

She glanced about the large room, her eyes landing on the portrait above the mantelpiece, of her and her family, taken on Linus and Agnes' wedding day at Grimauld Place.

She tore her eyes from the picture, and made for the stairs, taking them quickly, and entering her bedroom. It had been just as it was eight years ago, I hadn't changed a thing, and she crossed the room, entering the balcony, looking out at Hogwarts in the distance.

"How come it's all so clean?"

"Dobby visits every two weeks. It's the only job he does that he refuses payment for. He said he does it for Dumbledore."

"Oh." Was all she said, as she continued staring at the castle. She let go of my hand, and I didn't make to touch her again, sensing she needed space, and I walked over to the other door of the balcony, and entered what was meant to be my bedroom.

I had only visited the house the one time after the Dumbledores' funeral, and had many requests to purchase it over the years, The Weasleys' being the latest one, but I couldn't do it, and I didn't really know why. I knew I couldn't ever live here, but the thought of someone else doing so felt just as wrong, and it was incredibly wasteful and supremely selfish…

I took in the quidditch posters and the defence against the dark arts books and not for the first time did I wonder why Linus had a room for me. He wasn't the type of person who would promote his baby sister sharing a bathroom with her boyfriend when they were just teenagers, but perhaps I misjudged him. I suppose Ky and I were both coming off age that summer, and this was his way of acknowledging that we were adults?

As perfectly put together his affairs were following his death, it would have been nice to have had a letter from Linus, or Len, just explaining some of their decision-making. Like, why did Linus not go to Ky the night the death eaters attacked Hogwarts? He adored her, and if there was anywhere he'd need to be it was defending her, and if he had, then maybe he and Len wouldn't have died, because he wouldn't be on Astronomy Tower that night, and with the both of them there they could have restrained her from leaving the dungeons altogether…

Hermione thought that it was beautiful that he hadn't, that it showed how much he trusted Len to protect Ky, and how much he grew to love Dumbledore…that he had gone up there to save him.

I absentmindedly opened the folder in my hands, and stared at the photograph. It was old, at least ten years now, and we were both practically unrecognisable in it, Ky with blonde hair and green eyes, and me, scarless with light brown hair and hazel eyes, somehow looking even more like my dad, if possible. We were at a village fair, celebrating my fifteenth birthday, I recall Ky having a camera at some point, but never saw the photo before.

"Do you ever consider that our first date?"

I continued staring at the photo, reminding myself of what a delicate situation she was in, here, in a house she was visiting the first time, surrounded my memories of her dead family.

"I think a better question is why was this hanging up on your wall in Brooklyn, Kyrianna?" This was the photo in the background of the picture of Padfoot, the one that made Ginny angry, and how could I blame her for that.

Why did Ky have pictures like this on her wall, now? Even if we weren't officially dating at the time, it was clear how much I adored her in the photo, her looking straight at the camera, and me…gazing at her. I suspect the fact you could only see my profile, and the physical alterations we made that day, was why most people didn't recognise it to be me in the photo and assumed it was Ky's new boyfriend. But of course Ron would recognise me, nobody knew me better, and so would Ginny.

"You're angry." She walked into the room, leaving the balcony door open behind her, the sun setting in the distance.

"Wouldn't you be? It's emotional whiplash, and I don't know how much more of the lies I can take."

She was silent for a moment, her face expressionless, and hard, "I don't think I would be. I'd be surprised of course, but not angry. And I don't understand your confusion."

I gaped at her, "Kyrianna, why would you have photos of me on your wall? You left me."

She closed her eyes, "I left. I didn't leave you."

I jumped to my feet, "It's the same fucking thing!"

"It is not!" The volume in her voice surprised me as much as the sudden ire did, "I made vows, and I have kept them!"

I took a step back, stung, not expecting her to bring this up now, when she hadn't all weekend.

31st July, 1998

I kissed her bare shoulder, and slipped her dress back on, still catching my breath as I pulled her to my chest and cuddled her from behind.

"I like this, by the way." I fingered the strappy sleeve and she laughed and I could feel it against my heart.

"I thought you would. You like me in dresses."

"I do, but that has little to do with the patriarchy and a lot to do with how easily accesible everything is." She giggled as I easily slipped a hand into her dress, flicking at her left breast, grateful for her current happy disposition, she had been anything but an hour ago.

I glanced at the cause of her displeasure, sat innocently in the corner of the shed of the Burrow, which had been converted to a little bedroom for visiting Order members, and would soon be occupied by Silvestre Sabre once he got back. Ky and I had snuck in after my birthday party, that had been gatecrashed by none other than the Minister for Magic.

Ky followed my gaze, and then sighed, not wanting to look at the bottle of dragon's blood which had been the only thing Dumbledore had left to her in his Will. It was odd, seeing as Dumbledore defined the properties of Dragon's blood, so if it was useful in defeating horcruxes, he would have said.

I suppose a bottle of old, almost congealed blood seemed a dissapointing inheritance from one's grandparent, especially one as esteemed as he was, and I didn't blame Ky for feeling upset, though I was sure there must be more to it but she was not in the mood to discuss it.

"Harry?"

"Huh?"

"I said I'm sorry I couldn't get you a proper gift." She turned and stood on her tiptoes, kissing my jaw affectionately and I let out a satisfied moan.

"I much preferred unwrapping you than any gift you would have purchased for me, I promise." She laughed as I tilted my head down so that our lips met and we fell into a deep kiss that filled my body with little bubbles of desire.

"Well…" She teased her tongue across my neck, "If that's the case, then, as a birthday treat, if you rub this genie right she'll give you anything you want."

I laughed, enjoying her teasing, pulling her down on the little sofa and she easily straddled me, "Those are some big words. Anything I want?"

She nodded, kissing me, "Ask and it's yours."

I ran a hand up her back, pulling her away from my face and enjoying the annoyed look on hers at the loss of contact, relishing at how much she wanted me. She gazed down at me, her lips bruised from kissing and her eyes heavy with need. I smiled, slipping my hand into my right trouser pocket and pulling out the tiny object and slipping it onto her finger, and kissing the ring.

"Marry me."

Her eyes widened a fraction, her lips parting, and she froze. I knew how ridiculous this was, we were only seventeen, we had a dark lord hunting us both and she was grieving. I expected to have to convince her, but as I looked up at her large grey orbs that flickered from surprise to wonder to happiness, I realised… for once, Ky and I were completely on the same page.

She nodded her dark head furiously and I let out a surprised gasp as she pulled me into a rough kiss, and my heart soared as if I caught a thousand snitches. I smiled into her lips, knowing it didn't make for good kissing but couln't help myself, elated at her response.

"Where did you get the ring?" She whispered as she pulled away from me and we both caught our breath.

"Gringotts." She raised a brow, "It was my mother's." It was a simple gold ring, with a small ruby in the centre, and I had asked Bill to get it out of the vault with some of the gold he got for me at the start of summer, "I can get you another one, when life gets normal-"

"It's perfect, Harry. I love it so much. I love you so much." There was something almost childlike and honest in her words that I felt my eyes fill with tears.

I knew the reason I was inspired to propose to Ky was a tad macabre. The idea struck me at the Dumbledore funeral, watching as Agnes and Linus were laid to rest next to each other, sharing the same tombstone, and I imagined my mother and father also shared one, I was gripped with a fear that if I died, if Voldemort got me, and worse, if he got both of us, I wouldn't be able to have that with Ky.

Of course, it was more than just being buried next to her. I loved Ky in a way that made me feel complete. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and this was not a hard decision, in some ways it didn't even feel like a decision, just a natural next step.

"We can do it tonight, if you like?"

I glanced up, surprised, not knowing anything about magical weddings, "Yeah?"

She nodded, "Vez would know how."

"Okay!" I rose to my feet, Ky's thighs tightening around my waist so she wouldn't fall, and she laughed unreservedly, but suddenly stopped.

"What is it?" I was giddy with excitement, and didn't like the look on her face right now.

"It's Bill and Fleur's wedding in a few hours…"

"So? Do you think they'd mind?"

She caressed my neck, and then nodded, "I think it would be a bit of a shitty thing to do, to steal their thunder in that way. Also…" Our eyes met, and I grew concerned, her heart was practically at my lips and I could feel it racing.

"Love?"

"I don't want a wedding."

I blinked, I was confused, didn't she just say five minutes ago that she did? I let go of her thighs and her legs fell to the ground, and she slid down against me.

"No, Harry, I want to marry you. I do. I just don't want a wedding. I don't want anybody else there."

"Oh?" My heart sank a bit, "Not even Ron and Hermione?"

She bit her lip, shaking her head, "No fuss."

"It's just Ron and Hermione."

She glanced to the side and her hands folded about herself, "Please."

There was a smallness in her voice and she held herself tighter if possible, and then it hit me. I doubt Ky spent a lot of time dreaming of her wedding day, but I imagine she never expected Linus and Len to be absent from it.

"Of course." I pulled her to me, kissing her forehead, "Anything you want, love."

She hugged me back, and I carressed her hair, a profound sadness for her falling over me. There was another reason that I wanted to marry Ky. I wanted to be her family, officially. I wanted her to know that she wasn't alone.

The door opened, and I pulled away from her, imagining it was Mrs Weasley but thankfully it was just Silvestre Sabre, Ky's guardian. Ky didn't let go of me, laying her head on my chest and my eyes latched onto the golden orbs of the Palbei framed in the entrance.

"Sorry I had to rush off from the festivities earlier, you wanted to speak with me, Harry?"

"Oh, yes." I completely forgot that I had asked Silvestre for a word but then the Minister arrived and he thought it best he makes himself scarce, "Well, I wondered if there is a way for Ky and I to keep in touch whilst we're away from each other. Maybe know each other's location somehow?" She glanced up at me, "Not in some kind of stalker boyfriend way, but more in a… we're both going to be lying very low, but it would suck to just not see each other for who knows how long. Obviously I don't want to do anything unsafe, I just wondered if there was a way of mantaining the protective spells that we'll have to use, but have Ky as an exception?"

"They don't really work like that." He muttered, walking to the window and glancing out of it, "But, I suspect you have a two birds, one stone situation." We both looked at him in confusion, "I suppose congratulations are in order." He offered the slightest smile, and I was impressed that he even spotted the ring in the dimly lit room.

"Ah! So the marital vows allow for magical exceptions?" Ky looked up at him, curiously.

"They allow the possibility, you still have to be very specific with the spellwork, but being specific is something of a specialty of mine." He smirked, leaning against the tiny table in the corner of the room.

"Well, what a series of fortunate events that have occurred tonight, that almost never happens." She smiled up at me, and then turned to Silvestre, "I'm surprised I'm not getting some speech about being young and reckless."

"Well, as of today, you're both adults, and I respect your decision. Also," His smirk turned into a small smile, "It would be hypocritical of me, I too was once young, foolish and in love, and I'd much rather family married me, rather than some stranger. It's too late for me, not so much the case for you."

I stroked Ky's back, knowing Silvestre's declaration that she was his family would add to the already tumultous emotions of the day. "Thank you."

He nodded at me, and then glanced at his pocket watch, lifting it up so it was eye level and squinting at it, "Hmmm." He raised his brows, "It seems the stars are in your favour this night. According to my calculations, based on your birth charts and the celestial climate, after the day changes and before dawnbreak would be a very fortuitous time to wed."

I rasied my brows, "What?"

"I mean, I'm not a qualified astronomer, but I'm confident in the calculations."

"No, I don't doubt you." I hastened to say, "I just didn't know there was astronomy involved."

"It's more tradition than anything else, there's belief that there are 'good' times and 'bad' times to wed, all based on the stars, and if you wed at a bad time then the marriage is cursed…and I suspect if you're marrying Ky, you'll need all the luck you can get." I was surprised to find the man chuckling down as she playfully glared at him.

Her glare softened as it turned to me, "So, do you still want to do it? I know it's probably not how you imagined your wedding?"

I kissed her cheek, holding her face in my palms, "This is the only way I imagined my wedding. You."

She beamed up at me and I mirrored her smile.

"Okay. Follow me." Silvestre led us outside, into the large empty Orchard that we often played quidditch in. He walked to a very specific apple tree, and I glanced to Ky, looking for signs of hesitation and finding none. The moon was not full, but it seemed to shine brighter than ever, and I easily picked out Sirius among the stars above us, smiling at the thought that perhaps we did have family with us afterall.

"Take off your shoes." I looked at the man curiously, but we both did as we were told.

Silvestre had been marking runes into the ground, and asked us to stand upon them, reciting spells I never heard of before. Suddenly a small blue flame flickered to life and filled the grooves of the runes so they were marked with blue fire, but it didn't burn as it nipped at our feet, caressing rather than tickling.

"Before we begin, I think it important you both understand just what you're signing up for. Magical weddings are quite different to muggle ones, which I imagine you're both quite familiar with. Wizards do not marry for religious reasons, or for legal ones. We marry purely for love, and the vows we take are not mere words, but a binding magical contract. If you break these vows, there are no magical repercussions, it is not some arbitary spell to prevent infidelity, or some profound declaration of love. However, in some ways, the vows you will make are deeper than that, as it re-writes the very rules that govern magic in our world. Primarily, intent is the core principle that fuels our power, sometimes working at a level that our conscious selves do not even comprehend, it is why some of the darkest spells like the unforgivables, or trickiest spells like patronus charms, are challenging, as they are driven by very clear intent. The vows you make in marriage alters your intentions towards your partner, you will find it extremely difficult to duel them, as your magic will recognise your spouse always as a friend, and never as a foe, going forward. Defensive magic such as cloaking spells do not work well against your spouse, therefore they will find it easy to track you, even under protective charms. Like all things in life, with great compromise comes great gain, so whilst you allow yourself to become more vulnerable by allowing your partner so many exceptions, you also benefit from being able to cast more advanced magic with the help of your spouse, if you so wish. "

We both nodded, understanding the magnitude of his words. Marrying Ky was more than signing a document, marrying her meant I trusted her with my life, and I did.

He began muttering spells, "May I have your wand hands." We placed our palms into his hands as he gestured, hers below mine, palms facing up, and the blue flames from the runes on the floor snaked up our feet and around our hands, in a thin blue chain. I looked at Ky, her grey eyes soft, her face calm in a way I hadn't seen it in weeks. She looked up at me, and smiled and my heartbeat quickened.

Her lips conducted my body with such ease, and as her smile grew brighter I stepped forward, kissing her. She returned the kiss, which was soft, and lazy, the sort I imagined we'd have on Sunday mornings over breakfast. I smiled at the thought, enjoying imagining all the different kisses we'd have in our future - sleepy ones in the middle of the night, heated ones after spending days away from each other, loving ones over the head of a newborn…

"You need to drink this." Silvestre held a crystal goblet with a clear liquid in his hand. "It's to ensure there are no enchantments on either of you before you make your vows."

I nodded, drinking from the goblet quickly, and passing it to Ky, who wrinkled her nose at the bitter potion but drank it as well.

"Well," Silvestre flicked his wand and the goblet disappeared, "Good. I'm going to make the final charms that will be in effect once you make your vows." He muttered a few more spells and my hand that was on Ky's, not by its own volition, turned palm facing down, hovering over hers, the blue chain flames crawled into each other until it was just a single blue orb that floated in between both our palms, "If you wish to marry, close your hands over the orb."

I glanced down, Ky's eyes meeting mine, her pink lips parted but she didn't speak. Her eyes grew concerned at the look on my face and then she shook her head, "I'm not having second doubts, don't worry. I just, I guess want to do muggle vows as well, is that okay, Vez? Is there a time limit on this orb thing?"

Silvestre shook his head, and Ky turned back to me, clearing her throat, glancing up at the sky and then back to me.

"When I was five, I'd have this recurring nightmare that a shrub swallowed me. I was just walking passed it, and it's branches stretched out like arms and just grabbed me and pulled me into it. And for hours I'd just watch Linus and Len, go to school, come home, eat…and they never noticed I was missing. I used to think the worst thing in the world was to be so insignificant that nobody even notices when you're not there, and it's this tiny fear I've had, all my life. It's why I'm so loud. And why I try hard for people to like me even if I pretend like I'm not making any effort." She swallowed, sniffing, "When you look at me, Harry, I feel seen, in the best way, because I think you're looking at the ugly bits as well. The selfish bits. The dramatic ones. The stubborn pieces. And you love them all the same. And the thing is, your love doesn't make me feel fearless, I still have that fear, and, so many more now." Her eyes filled with tears and I stepped closer, "But you make me feel safe, a notion I thought I'd all but lost a month ago. Thank you for always noticing when shrubs swallow me up." I sniffed, letting out a chuckle at her metaphor, nodding, tears streaking my cheeks, composure a thing of the past. "But more so for being the kind of person, that when I want nothing more than a shrub to swallow me up and to just watch life from the sidelines, you coax me out by the sheer force of my love for you." She swallowed, taking a deep breath, "You make me want live, Harry. I want slow Sunday mornings eating pancakes in bed, and loud Saturday nights, crowded rooms and quiet spaces, quick kisses as we rush out the door for work, clandestine ones behind the children's backs, heated ones after an argument…I want it all. I want you." Her voice broke as she cried and I stepped closer, not able to hold her lest it mess up the spell, but hoping my body heat would comfort her.

I blinked, my glasses well passed misted over by my tears. I was overwhelmed by her words, in saying that when her worst fears came true, it was love for me that helped her get over it. I muttered a quick thank you and leaned down to give her a quick peck on the cheek but in my partially blind state ended up kissing her ear. We laughed, which helped stop me blubbering like a complete idiot. I sniffed, and I was grateful to Ky for wiping the tears from my face.

"I should have gone first, I don't know how I'm going to follow that." We both laughed at my words, Silvestre giving us an amused grin. I cleared my throat, "When Dudley used to fall down when we were kids, Aunt Petunia used to do this thing, where she'd kiss his bruise and go 'all better.' He'd be all fine afterwards, which was probably because he wasn't actually that hurt in the first place, but I've never wanted anything more than someone to do that for me, who had this secret magic kissing powers. So, everyday when I would go to bed I'd make a wish for someone who could do that. And, can you believe my astonishment, a good ten years late, but… wish granted - admittedly that very first time with that kick to the nads, the bruise was your doing, and I suppose it wouldn't be appropriate for you to have kissed it better -'

"Yet." She laughed, and I shook my head, glancing at Silvestre who actually let out an amused chuckle.

"But, you kiss better wounds that I don't even know I have. You make me feel whole, you're like the opposite of a horcrux." I laughed, "And truthfully," I stepped closer, "You're exactly what I wished for, even at just four. And I know it's going to be the same at forty, and four hundred. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Her face crumpled, and I could feel her fingers beneath mine flex, and I quickly closed my palm over the floating blue ball, her fingers back in my own, and comforting warmth spread through my body as the orb disappeared into us.

Without waiting for permission from Silvestre, we both crashed into each other, a kiss both desperate and powerful.

"Well, that's that." Silvestre nodded, "Congratulations." He cleared his throat, and pulled a ring off his finger, "Here."

"What? No, Silvestre, I couldn't-"

"Take it." He said authoratively, "You deserve shiny things too."

I raised my brows, surprised at his words, and Ky grinned.

"Mine's bigger than yours."

I rolled my eyes at her teasing, and hesitated, but Ky snatched the ring and slipped it on my finger, and then gave it a kiss, "There. All better."

My smiled widened and I pulled her into another kiss.

Silvestre cleared his throat, "I'll leave you two to your honeymoon, you can take my room for the night. Just for the night! And," He flicked his wand and my left hand rose, and so did Ky's, he tapped my ring and her ring, and they turned invisible,"Figured this would stop questions. Also." He tapped our rings again, "If you tap your wand to your ring, it will show your coordinates, even if you're under protective spells, and it will mirror that to the other ring, so you can always find each other. It'll only work while the rings are on your person, so keep them on. Give it a try, see if it works."

I did as he said and tapped my wand, the band turned visible and so did Ky's, and around the gold metal shone a few numbers… matching co-ordinates.

"That's brilliant, thank you so much Silvestre."

He nodded, a smirk climbing upon his lips, "My pleasure, Mr Dumbledore."

And with that, he walked off. I turned, gaping to Ky, "No."

"I just changed my name. And why does the girl have to change their name anyway!"

"Harry Dumbledore sounds weird! Now, Kyrianna Potter…"

We continued the squabble right until we got back in the shed, and then immediately stopped.

Not another word was spoken that night.

"What does that mean? You're blaming me for breaking them? Ky, YOU PRETENDED TO BE DEAD!" I shouted, "YOU LIED TO ME! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! I didn't…" I straightened up, somehow on my feet, pacing the room, "You wanted me to…what? Never marry again? Be alone forever?"

"Of course not." She was suddenly so calm, and for some reason that angered me more, "I didn't expect you to be alone. I wanted you to be happy, Harry. I understand," She held her hand to her chest, "I left. I just don't understand, why you never told anyone that we got married. Not Ron, not Hermione. Nobody." She was staring at the red carpetted floor, "Did you regret-"

"No!" I snapped, "No!" I panted as if I was running, "Of course not!" I fell onto the bed, my forehead in my hands, "I…we said we were going to tell them after the war. I thought about doing it after…Shell Cottage, your burial, but…I couldn't. I couldn't do much at the time, and what little I could do had to go into convincing Griphook to help us." I glanced up at her, but she was still looking down at the floor, "After the war, when Fred died, I was with Selina, helping her with arrangements, when Mr Weasley came over and asked her if she wanted to be stripped of her Vows. I didn't understand what that meant, and he said that marriage isn't until death with us. You can choose to keep the vow on you, and some people believe it helps with afterlife stuff, but mostly it's just practicalities for the future, sharing a grave and protective charms or whatever. I don't know." I gesturend with my hands, "Most importantly, it's for marrying again. You will be able to, but it's unethical to not disclose that you've not been de-Vowed to a new spouse, it's fine if their okay with it, but I suppose who would be okay with that, clearly not over your first marriage." I muttered darkly, "Anyway, Mr Weasley was convincing Selina that she should go through with the de-Vowment because she's young, and Fred wouldn't want her to be alone for the rest of her life. And then it occurred to me," I glanced up and Ky was finally looking at me, "If I told them." And my voice broke, "They'd make me break it. They'd never let me be alone forever, Hermione would think I'm mad. And then," I buried my head in my hands, "I saw my parents in the afterlife, together, and we wouldn't have that. And I wouldn't be buried with you." I sobbed out, reliving the pain even though Ky was alive and there was no need for me to feel this agony.

I felt soft hands at my hair, and her chest at my forehead and I let Ky comfort me, much like she had this very morning. I pulled away from her, and looked down at her, kneeling before me, "I didn't regret it. I don't. I felt guilty, because I knew I'd have to tell Ginny, or have the vows broken if we were to marry, which is why I've been so conflicted about proposing."

She nodded in understanding, "I have the photo up, because…a version of you exists in my life in Brooklyn. They think Rose Williams was married to a James Black. I did an exchange in Scotland in my final year of high school, and we had a whirlwind romance, and decided to be crazy and get married really young. And we did long distance because first you were studying in Edinburgh and then you were working in London." She shrugged, and whispered, "I meant what I said. I didn't want to leave you. I had to leave."

"I don't understand, when did I stop being a safe place for you?" I referenced our vows and her grey orbs shook, tears falling fast from them now.

"Never." She whispered, brushing the hair off my forehead, kissing my scar, and I felt her body shake as she climbed into my lap, as her tears fell faster, and I held her as she clutched me tightly, her body overcome with sobs.

"Ky? Love, are you okay?"

She shook her head in the negative, "No."

And somehow, with that small word, something I had been trying to see all this time in Ky suddenly became visible. Something I could actually feel in the pit of my stomach.

Ky was deathly afraid.

I had to leave.

"You've been running away from something." I whispered.

"Or, someone." I shot up from the bed as I spotted the man at the door, stepping forward, in front of Ky. "It seems you really do have a death wish, Dumbledore."

A/N: A bit of a long chapter, so thank you so much for reading it! I had a think about the magical wedding - I hope it seems plausible - I'll appreciate feedback on that! Do let me know what you think of the story so far, your reviews are very appreciated!

Kalina