Anna's POV

When the door opened, noise appeared to attack her all at once. The sound of rowdy guests laced with too much alcohol and too many drugs; music played by tired musicians, but most of all, the sound of reality.

"Tommy, the guests…" Lizzie Stark's voice filled the room. her words halted midway through a breath, however.

"Of fucking course!" She said after a very brief pause and, before Anna could turn to look, the sound of a slammed door took the echo of her hurt away.

"Fuck, I'm sorry…" Anna began the process of detangling herself from the man before her, but he didn't let her go all the way. Just enough so that he could look her in the eyes.

"Don't." He stopped her next attempt at speech. "Stay here." He said and left her for the second time that night. At least he wasn't going to plan an assassination this time. And even if he was, there was a hint of... promise to his voice that made her actually want to obey.

Of course, as soon as Anna was alone, her thoughts had full freedom to press down upon her. And they did. Timelines, rules, and overheard conversations swirled around in the whirlpool of guilt that was her mind. It wasn't a Collision this time, there was no physical reaction. Nothing beyond a mild grinding of teeth. And yet, she didn't regret it either. She had just ordered Joseph Goebbels's death and she would've done it again without thinking twice about it.

What the hell was Anna supposed to do with that information?

Had she always been capable of this? Or had she just crossed the invisible line into "monster" territory? Could she cross it back?

No! The answer assaulted her mind immediately. Not yet anyway. Deeper lines would need to be crossed before she was done.

It is a horrible thing to find out who you really are.

The door opened again and the sound of Tommy's steps surprised her out of her thoughts. She dried a rogue tear running down her left cheek and turned to face him.

Tommy, still in his formal attire, came in with a tray of appetizers this time. Her stomach rumbled at the smell of salmon puffs bathed in garlic, a mild part of her mind trying to decide if it was immoral to eat at a time like this. The water suddenly flooding her mouth made it easy for Anna to drown her mind out though.

He said nothing, just locked the door behind him, and came to sit at the sofa, placing the tray on the coffee table between the two sofas. Only then did Anna notice that she was still standing close to the desk where he had left her. She moved to sit in front of him.

"You should set Lizzie free," Anna said a few delicious salmon puffs later.

"I should eh?" His monotone voice replied a beat later. "I'm not keeping her hostage"

"Please, don't pretend like you don't know the power of those pretty blue eyes Tommy" She snorted and reached for another piece.

Tommy didn't respond.

"Why keep stringing her along when it's so obvious you will never love her?" Anna quirked her head at him, analyzing his carefully expressionless face.

"Why not stop the first Great War and choose the second instead?" he asked, still as stone, but the lines around his eyes denounced distress.

Oh… that.

"I was wondering when you were going to ask." Anna looked down, a cold fist wrapping tight around her stomach. "An answer for an answer?" She looked up again.

"Ladies first." He popped another appetizer in his mouth and leaned back on the sofa.

"Honestly?" His face didn't even acknowledge the question. Anna took a deep breath and let it go all at once while keeping her eyes on him. "It wasn't my specialty," she shrugged apologetically.

Tommy looked back at her with his steal stare, which would look vacant on anyone else, but on him, appeared to be better than most lie detectors. Anna didn't feel like breaking through, so she let silence stretch between them to an uncomfortable level.

And uncomfortable it was. The echoes of the party became more audible and Anna found herself looking at the immaculate bookshelf on the wall behind Tommy. Who thought it was a great idea to get him a copy of the constitution anyway? Even worse: who decided the constitution should go on the same shelf as Alice in Wonderland?

"At this point, we're just having a staring contest!" Anna ruffed out, throwing her hands in the air. And ignoring the fact that technically, no they weren't because she had run away from his eyes as soon as her pride would allow it.

Tommy did nothing but blink.

"What?" An awkward chuckle trying to mix with her voice.

"I'm waiting for you to finish." The man had the audacity to sound polite!

"Oh, so the king of monosyllabic answers and cryptic stares wants a complete response?" Anna snorted and popped another appetizer in her mouth. "Sorry buddy, I'm into this friendship we're building here and all, but… we ain't there yet!" She finished, mouth still half full of buttery bliss.

His silence after that was, dare she say, mildly amused..? He still didn't look willing to continue the conversation without prompting, so she said: "Your turn!"

"Children need a mother," Tommy rearranged the silver cufflinks around his wrists.

"Bull-shit!" Anna enunciated every syllable, leaning back.

"You tell me why, then!" Tommy said. His voice was forceful, but not defiant exactly. It had a note of… expectancy to it.

The sneaky bastard!

Maybe he didn't even notice what he was doing... though, it was hard to believe that Tommy Shelby was that clueless.

"You're a big boy Thomas," Anna smiled and resisted the urge to pat his hand. There was no need to be that patronizing. "I'm not gonna do your job for you."

Probably not the wisest choice of words Anna had ever made. Tommy's muscles went rigid slowly. It seemed slow anyway. To her, the tightening of his jaw happened in slow motion followed by the deliberate raise of his shoulders and fisting of hands. Anna choked her own apology down. Tried to smooth her expression into neutral defiance.

They didn't speak for a while, Tommy barely moved and Anna sorely missed the ability to scroll Instagram into oblivion. It was so convenient to not have to endure the awkward silence after an uncomfortable conversation. In the absence of distraction, her mind ran away from itself in another way.

"Can I ask you something though?" He only nodded his agreement. A very noncommital nod that didn't promise an answer, but a nod nonetheless.

After confirmation, her stomach overflowed in anxiety. Her breathing became quicker and she was startled by how quick tears manifested at the bottom of her eyes. She was able to keep them at bay, but not while looking at him, so she focused on the Constitution behind his head and Tommy became a blurry figure in her line of sight.

"Is this how it hap-" she halted to take control of her shuddering breath and tried again. "Is this how it happens?"

"Will I feel this bad about causing someone's death every time I have to do it or… will it get easier someday..?" Two droplets escaped the corners of her eyes and she gave up on holding them back and allowed Tommy to be in focus again. "God, I don't know which is worse!" a humorless chuckle escaped her.

Tommy still took a long time to answer but it didn't feel like torture that time. It also wasn't embarrassing to cry about an assassination she wasn't even sure had already gone down yet. Because Tommy looked at her with such infinite sadness that she could almost see the broken boy behind the gangster. He knew the price of innocence.

Anna couldn't say how long his reflection had lasted, but the sign that it was over was as clear as the whiskey glass he still had in his hand. His posture quickly changed through minute adjustments of shoulders and regulation of breath.

"I hope it does get easier for you, never did for me." Before her eyes, the gangster became the soldier and there was even some...affection? in his eyes when he continued, "you can tell me tomorrow"

It felt like time to get up. So they did, but after that, she was standing there, just… looking at him for a few seconds.

"Your room is in the west week." Tommy reached for yet another cigarette and turned his back on her towards the door.

Anna was left alone but for the first time in the 20th century, she didn't feel lonely.