TRIGGER WARNING: Pregnancy loss (Minor character)

A pre-Annie fic which could be considered canon or AU.

When Grace's good friend from college struggles with pregnancy loss, it brings about inner wonderings in Grace over her own ability to carry a child, and whether she wants to become a Mother. As Grace eventually realizes, love doesn't always come the way you expect it to.

Grace/Oliver (and eventually Annie) centric.

I'm taking inspiration from the 2019 UK Tour iteration of "Annie" as their Grace and Oliver tend to display a particular closeness.

The premise of the story is also somewhat inspired by the movie "Firelight", starring Sophie Marceau and Stephen Dillane. It's an asbolutely beautiful film which I love very much.

DISCLAIMER: (I haven't actually done one of these for a while - oops!) No, I don't own these characters, but playing with them has become my absolute favorite pastime.

…

February 1933

Grace Farrell shivered as she darted into the door of the cozy corner cafe in the middle of Manhattan. She shook the remnants of snow off her coat and hat and looked around the room searchingly, smiling a great big smile when her eyes fell upon the person she was looking for.

"Gracie!" The well-dressed woman stood from her table and reached out her arms for Grace who approached her quickly and enthusiastically, wrapping her in a hug.

Grace Farrell and Gloria Sinclair had attended university together where they became fast friends and very close. Both had similar career ambitions and had each gone on to become secretaries for very successful companies.

Ten years after graduating, they still kept in touch and made a point of seeing each other when both were able to make time in their busy schedules.

"Oh, Gloria, it's so wonderful to see you."

"How are you, my dear?" Her friend asked Grace as she sat down again.

"Oh, I'm quite well. How are you?"

"I'm…trying to be well." Gloria sighed. "I had another miscarriage last month. My third one."

Grace's face fell, her heart seizing in pain for her friend. "Oh my goodness, Gloria. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how awful that must be for you and Fred."

Gloria smiled sadly. "For so long I was so narrowly focused on my career, my sole ambition was to make more of myself than what was expected of me, to achieve what our Mothers were never allowed to", she cast her eyes downwards, solemnly. "I guess we women are only meant to be one or the other."

Grace's brow furrowed in concern at Gloria's words. She herself had been a very career focused woman for most of her life. She had lost the only family she really loved when she was quite young and all the family she had left had been nothing but a disappointment to her.

The idea of family was one that she'd abandoned a long time ago, and she was fortunate enough to have a career that she found incredibly fulfilling.

Gloria's situation however, was serving as something of a wake up call for her.

How would she feel if the idea of having children of her own was completely off the cards?

Despite the fact that she was very content with the path her life had taken and had found success in many other areas of her life, Grace couldn't deny the maternal instinct she felt as a woman, the natural pull she felt towards motherhood.

Even if it hadn't been something she had been planning for beforehand, the idea that it might be denied to her was something Grace found very hard to take.

Despite a rather lengthy and otherwise very happy catch up with her friend, the unnerving and distracting feeling followed her home and into the evening.

It was her day off so thankfully it didn't didn't encroach on her work, but all through the night, the thought played on her, leaving her exhausted come morning time.

"Miss Farrell, did you get that?" Mr. Warbucks questioned her. She was meant to be dictating for him but he noticed she had stopped typing a few sentences ago, her mind seeming to be elsewhere.

"Uh, um…I'm sorry, Sir. What did you say after "Diminishment of federal and government tax?"

"What's going on with you this morning?" He asked, looking equally as concerned as he was perturbed.

After six years of her working for him, Oliver knew Grace pretty well and so he could easily tell when something was amiss with her.

"I'm sorry, I'm just feeling a little tired", she replied in half-truth.

He stared at her scrutinizingly for a moment. "Do you need to take a break?"

She raised her eyebrows at him in surprise. His tone was genuinely caring.

"That's kind of you, Sir, but no…thank you. I'm alright and I promise I'll be more focused from now on."

He wanted to ask her if she was sure. He opened his mouth to do so but then decided not to, not wanting to come across as if he knew what was best for Grace any more than she herself did. He knew very well how sensible and capable she was. In fact, she was usually the one taking care of him.

He resumed talking to her and she went back to her dictation.

That afternoon they had to attend a meeting downtown. Wall Street was busy and bustling as always. People moving about hurriedly trying to get places. Sometimes it amazed Grace how so many people could fit into such a small area.

It was mostly businessmen in suits who filled the streets, but there were some women and children too, on their way to the port to catch ferries to other boroughs of New York.

As she and Oliver stopped at a crossing, she looked down to see that a little girl of no more than two had just dropped her doll. Her busy mother who was pushing a baby in a pram and who had two other older children trailing behind, did not seem to notice, even when the little girl started crying.

Grace quickly picked up the doll and ran across the street behind the Mother and her children.

"Excuse me, excuse me!" She called after the Mom once they had all reached the other side of the street. "Your little girl dropped this."

"Oh my gosh, thank you so much", the frazzled woman said gratefully to Grace. "Say thank you to the kind lady, Nola", she instructed the small child who looked up at Grace with the sweetest, tear filled eyes and smiled shyly. "Fank-ooh."

Grace smiled back at her, giving the girl her doll.

Oliver meanwhile, had completely missed the interaction, too focused on getting to his meeting. He had only noticed that Grace wasn't there at his side and had doubled back to find her.

"Miss Farrell?" He took her by the elbow and led her on through the crowd. Grace was momentarily startled by his hand on her arm, but her thoughts were still lingering on adorable wee Nola and how she had felt her heart glow over the interaction with her.

…

That night, after their working day was done, Grace said goodnight to Mr. Warbucks before retiring to her room. After her little slip in the morning she had worked hard to be nothing but diligent all afternoon and evening, even after her brief interaction with the dear young child on the sidewalk had reinforced her thoughts about children and whether she could see it in her own life's plan to have any of her own.

There was so much to consider of course. Aside from the fact that she had no man in her life with which to make one, she was also incredibly committed to her job and knew how much Mr. Warbucks depended on her.

She had to stop and consider that Gloria may have been right when she said that a woman could not have a career and be a Mother at the same time, at least not a career that demanded so much of a woman's time as Grace's did.

It was only when Gloria met her husband Fred, who had expressed his wish to become a Father to her early on in their relationship, that Gloria had followed her heart and dutifully to him, reduced her hours at work to prepare for having a family.

Grace knew how intelligent and how good at her job Gloria had been, but she had also grown up with many younger siblings and loved children and so it wasn't really a surprise when Gloria had first told her that she and Fred were expecting.

Of course, sadly, they had lost their first baby while she was still in utero and had tragically gone on to lose two more.

That was another reservation Grace had. The pain of losing a child would be impossible to bear. She wasn't sure if she was strong enough for it. Of course, Grace knew of many other women who had carried and given birth to children successfully. She was painfully aware of the fact that her age put her at increased risk of developing complications during pregnancy, however.

If she was going to try to have a baby of her own, Grace knew it needed to be soon.

She sat on the edge of her bed, trying to weigh up the pros and cons of trying to have a baby. The hurdles, the risks, the potential disappointments and of course, the undeniable joy she knew she would feel at becoming a mother.

She also knew that Mr. Warbucks wasn't going to be happy about her wishing to reduce her hours in order to have more of an opportunity to socialize and meet a man, foster a relationship with him and eventually at least approach the idea of having a family with him.

There was another risk, of course. What was to say she could even find a man at her age? At 33, surely she didn't have as much appeal as a woman in her 20's.

Even if she was able to find someone she liked enough who was willing to marry her, would that man want to have children right away, just like her?

Grace sighed heavily as she lay back in her bed. She had to at least try, and the only way to do that was to ask Mr. Warbucks if she could at least have an evening or two off a week to go out and hopefully have the opportunity to meet someone.

She wasn't sure how he was going to take the request. She'd been so uncomplainingly loyal and hardworking - if she was honest with herself, overworking, for many years. Perhaps he would understand if she asked, or if she explained why…no, she thought to herself, it wouldn't be professional of her to share that kind of information with him, nor would he be interested in knowing, especially if it meant that she would eventually want to move out and either reduce her hours or stop working for him completely.

She closed her eyes, just praying that he would be understanding.