Answers to reviews:

zarmag: The pairing isn't changing. It's staying Alex x Thalia. And who says Thalia will join the Hunters?

SpringTrapLord: He most likely will.

06302004jward: Alright then.

Guest: Of course he will.

boogbryant98 phs2016: Thanks.

mredman1105: It's okay.

AkariStrife: Maybe one day.

Disclaimer: I do not own Devil May Cry or Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I only own the OC Alexander Redgrave.


They stood in the shadows of Valencia Boulevard, looking up at gold letters etched in black marble: DOA RECORDING STUDIOS.

Underneath, stencilled on the glass doors: NO SOLICITORS. NO LOITERING. NO LIVING.

It was almost midnight, but the lobby was brightly lit and full of people. Behind the security desk sat a tough-looking guard with sunglasses and an earpiece. All he needed was a donut.

Percy turned to the group. "Okay. You remember the plan."

"The plan," Grover gulped. "Yeah, I love the plan."

"What happens if the plan doesn't work?" Annabeth asked, worry in her tone.

"Don't think negative," Alex suggested.

"Right," she said. "We're entering the Land of the Dead, and I shouldn't think negative."

Percy took the pearls out of his pocket.

Annabeth put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Percy. You're right, we'll make it. It'll be fine."

She gave Grover a nudge.

"Oh, right!" he chimed in. "We got this far. We'll find the master bolt and save your mum. No problem."

Percy smiled at all of them, her friends. Who have had his back since the start of the quest. They have been through a lot since they left Camp Half-Blood. The Furies, Medusa, Echidna, Lamia, Ares, the Lotus Hotel, Annabeth and Grover nearly ended up stretched to death, and now they were going to confront Hades himself.

She put the pearls back into her pocket. "Let's do this. Let's whoop some Underworld butt."

"Woah, woah, woah." Alex chuckled, stopping them from going any further. "That's your motivational speech? C-Come here, leave the speech to me because I'll do it ten times better."

Percy huffed. "It's not a competition."

"We need a good speech to go on with, and yours was mediocre." Alex smirked at Percy's look. "Truth hurts. Now, come here. Huddle up"

They did, Alex putting his arms around Percy and Annabeth's shoulders.

"Now, we are about to enter the Underworld, the Land of the Dead, to confront Hades, the big guy of the Underworld. And all we have are our wits, our skills, and our guts. The situation may seem dire, but together, we can succeed! We can be victorious! We can conquer! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! We will not go quietly into the night! So say it with me!" Here Alex broke the group huddle and stood in front of the door, foot raised up. "So join me, brothers and sister-in-arms! This may be madness, but nay. This. Is. SPARTA!"

Alex kicked the door, making it snap open, almost breaking it off its hinges. After that 'inspiring' speech, Alex stepped forward, leaving the group behind him.

The others watched him, befuddled. And then they burst into laughter at the whole thing, breaking the tense atmosphere.

"W-well," Grover said, still chuckling. "At least he knows how to make an entrance."

"That he does," Annabeth said, giggling.

Percy had a huge grin on his face. Leave it to Alex to make them feel more better about entering the Underworld after such an inspiring speech.

They walked inside the DOA lobby.

Muzak played softly on hidden speakers. The carpet and the walls were steel grey. Pencil cactuses grew in the corners like skeleton hands. The furniture was black leather, and every seat was taken. There were people sitting on couches, people standing up, people staring out the windows. or waiting for the elevator. Nobody moved, or talked, or did much of anything.

The security guard's desk was a raised podium, so they had to look up at him.

He was tall and elegant, with chocolate-coloured skin and bleached-blonde hair shaved military style. He wore tortoiseshell shades and a silk Italian suit that matched his hair. A black rose was pinned to his lapel under a silver name tag.

Percy read the name tag, then looked at him in bewilderment, "You're name is Chiron?"

Alex facepalmed. "Not even five seconds," he muttered to himself.

The man leaned across the desk. You couldn't see anything in his glasses except your own reflection, but his smile was sweet and cold, like a python's, right before it eats you.

"What a precious young lad." He had a strange accent – British, maybe, though it sounded like English was his second language. "Tell me, mate, do I look like a centaur?"

"N-no."

"Sir," he added smoothly.

"Sir," Percy said.

He pinched the name tag and ran his finger under the letters. "Can you read this, mate? It says C-H-A-R-O-N. Say it with me: CARE-ON."

"Charon."

"Amazing! Now Mr. Charon."

"Mr. Charon," Percy said with more certainty.

"Well done." He sat back. "I hate being confused with that old horse-man. And now, how may I help you little dead ones?"

His question caught Percy off-guard. He immediately turned to Alex for help.

Alex mentally sighed as he began his plan. "We would like to go to the Underworld, please," he said with a pleasant smile on his face.

Chiron's mouth twitched. "Well, that's refreshing."

"It is?" Annabeth asked.

"Straightforward and honest. No screaming. No 'There must be a mistake, Mr. Charon.'" He looked them over. "How did you die, then?"

"Got ran over by a bus," Alex told him casually, as if the idea was nice.

Charon nodded, as if he'd experienced the situation before. "Yeah, there are a lot of cases for you guys. 'Don't get run over,' I said. 'Why can't you die a decent death, ya know?' Honestly, you people won't shut up about it all."

He grimaced but eventually sighed and stared at them with boredom. "I don't suppose you have coins for passage. Normally, with adults, you see, I could charge your American Express, or add the ferry price t your last cable bill. But with children… alas, you never die prepared. Suppose you'll have to take a seat for a few centuries."

"Oh, but we have coins." Percy set three golden drachmas on the counter, which was part of the stash they'd found in Crusty's office desk.

"Well, now…" Charon moistened his lips. "Real drachmas. Real golden drachmas. I haven't seen these in…"

His fingers hovered greedily over the coins.

They were so close.

Then Charon looked at Percy. That cold stare behind his glasses seemed to bore a hole through his chest. "Here now," he said. "You couldn't read my name correctly. Are you dyslexic, lad?"

"No," Percy said. "I'm dead."

"You're about to be," Alex said, glaring at Percy.

Charon leaned forward and took a sniff. "You're not dead. I should've known. You're a godling."

"We have to get to the Underworld," Percy insisted.

Charon made a growling sound deep in his throat.

Immediately, all the people in the waiting room got up and started pacing, agitated, lighting cigarettes, running hands through their hair, or checking their wristwatches.

"Leave while you can," Charon told them. "I'll just take these and forgot I saw you."

He then started reaching for the coins, but Alex was a blur when he snatched them back.

"You won't get paid if you don't take us to the Underworld." He told him with a smirk. This just made Charon growl again, now a deep, blood curdling sound.

The spirits of the dead now started pounding on the elevator doors.

"It really is a shame, considering we had more to offer." Alex then sighed as he then held up both an entire bag of Procrustes' entire stash (which Percy snatched fwhen they ran into Crusty) and the drachmas he had at the start of the quest.

He grabbed a fistful of coins and let them spill through his fingers.

Charon's growl now changed into what sounded like a lion's purr. "Do you think I can be bought, godling? Eh… just out of curiosity, how much have you got there?"

"A lot." Alex said. "I'm sure that Hades doesn't pay enough for all this hard work."

"Oh, you don't know the half of it. How would you like to babysit these spirits all day? Always 'Please don't let me be dead' or 'Please let me across for free'. I haven't had a pay raise in three thousand years. Do you imagine suits like this come cheap?"

"Doubtful/ Nothing is cheap in this day and age." Alex nodded. "Your boss should show you a little appreciation once in a while. As well as some respect and good pay."

As he spoke, he stacked another gold coin on the counter.

Charon glanced down at his Italian jacket, like he was imagining himself in better clothes. "I must say, lad, you're making some sense. Just a little."

"I'm just being honest." Alex said as he added a few more coins. "We could even mention a pay raise when we're talking to Hades."

Charon sighed. "The boat's almost full, anyway. I might as well add you four and be off."

He then stood, scooped up the money and said "Come along."

They pushed their way through the crowd of waiting spirits, who all started grabbing at their clothes like the wind, their voices whispering things that they couldn't make out.

Charon shoved them out of the way, grumbling. "Freeloaders."

He escorted the four into the elevator, which was already crowded with souls of the dead, each holding a green boarding pass. Charon grabbed two of them that were trying to get on with us and pushed them back into the lobby.

"Right. Now, no one get any ideas while I'm gone." He announced to the whole waiting room. "And if anyone moves the dial off my easy listening station again, I'll make sure you're here for another thousand years. Understand?"

He then shut the doors, put a key card into a slot in the elevator panel and they started to descend.

"What happens to the spirits waiting in the lobby?" Annabeth asked.

"Nothing." Charon replied.

"For how long?"

"Forever, or until I'm feeling generous."

"Oh. That's… fair."

Charon raised an eyebrow at that. "Whoever said death was fair, young miss? Wait until it's your turn. You'll die soon enough, where you're going."

"We'll get out alive." Percy told him.

"Ha."

Alex felt a sudden dizziness as they no longer went down, but forward. The air also started turning misty and the spirits around them started changing shape. Their modern clothes flickered and turned into grey hooded robes. The floor of the elevator then began to sway.

In the blink of an eye, Charon's creamy Italian suit was replaced with a long black robe. His tortoiseshell glasses were also gone. Where his eyes should be are just empty sockets, similar to Ares, but Charon's were completely dark, full of night, death and despair.

He noticed Alex and Percy looking at him. "Well?"

"Nothing." They shrugged.

"Seen scarier." Alex admitted.

The flesh of his face now became transparent, letting them see straight through to his skull.

The floor continued to sway.

"I think I'm getting seasick." Grover moaned.

In another blink of the eye, the elevator was no longer an elevator. They now stood in a wooden barge with Charon poling them across a dark, oily river that swirled with bones, dead fish and other things like plastic dolls, crushed carnations, soggy diplomas and gilt edges. Alex had seen polluted water, but this just took the cake.

"The River Styx." Annabeth murmured. "It's so…."

"Polluted." Charon said, saying exactly what Alex was thinking. "For thousands of years, you humans have been throwing in everything as you come across - hopes, dreams, wishes that never came true. Irresponsible waste management if you ask me."

Mist was curling off the filthy water and above them, almost lost in all the gloom, was a ceiling of stalactites. Ahead, the far shore glimmered with a greenish light, which was the colour of poison.

"This makes me want to sing a Halloween-themed song." Alex muttered under his breath, then saw a guitar in the river and snatched it up with a grin. "Fuck it, might as well make the most of it."

"Don't sing the Oogie Boogie man song, please!" Grover pleaded.

"I wasn't going to... would be funny though." Alex chuckled, then a thought popped in. "I got it."

He tapped his foot to the song in his head, smirking as his friends gave him looks.

"Here. We. Go." He muttered as he began to strum the guitar, and oddly enough it sounded like music was playing in the background.

"Boys and girls of every age

Wouldn't you like to see something strange?

Come with us and you will see

This, our town of Halloween"

Charon chuckled when the dead started to pay more attention to what was going on and begun to sing along, scaring the crap out of the son of Artemis' three friends.

"This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Pumpkins scream in the dead of night

This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright
It's our town, everybody scream
In this town of Halloween"

The trio saw the dead were flying about now and giving off random bouts of screams. When the next part came, it sounded like something under the boat was singing along.

"I am the one hiding under your bed
Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red

I am the one hiding under yours stairs
Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair

This is Halloween, this is Halloween

Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
In this town we call home
Everyone hail to the pumpkin song

In this town, don't we love it now?
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise"

A Coo Coo Clock's bird shot up out of the muck and made Annabeth scream.

"Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can
Something's waiting no to pounce, and how you'll...

Scream! This is Halloween
Red 'n' black, slimy green

Aren't you scared?

Well, that's just fine
Say it once, say it twice
Take a chance and roll the dice
Ride with the moon in the dead of night

Everybody scream, everybody scream

In our town of Halloween!"

His three friends where white as a sheet by this point as the ghosts were flying around screaming in good nature. Then three weird ghosts came up to the three. A clown for Grover and two robed ghost for Percy and Annabeth respectively.

"I am the clown with the tear-away face
Here in a flash and gone without a trace

I am the "who" when you call, "Who's there?"
I am the wind blowing through your hair

I am the shadow on the moon at night
Filling your dreams to the brim with fright

This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
Halloween! Halloween!"

Alex put an arm around Grover and smirked while singing the next part.

"Tender lumplings everywhere
Life's no fun without a good scare

That's our job, but we're not mean
In our town of Halloween

In this town

Don't we love it now?"

By this time, both Alex and the Dead were all singing.

"Everybody's waiting for the next surprise
Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back
And scream like a banshee
Make you jump out of your skin
This is Halloween, everybody scream
Wont' ya please make way for a very special guy

Our man jack is King of the Pumpkin patch
Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King, now!

This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!

In this town we call home
Everyone hail to the pumpkin song

La la-la la, Halloween! Halloween!"

By the time they had reached the shoreline, Grover looked he was about to pass out from fear while Percy and Annabeth looked very pale and scared.

Charon chuckled. "Well, you sure now how to liven up the party, although, I think you scared your friends to death."

"Lighten up, guys." Alex rolled his eyes. "It's only a bit of fun."

"P-please don't do s-something like that a-again." Grover stammered out, to which the others just nodded to very quickly.

"Killjoys." Alex muttered.

Looking around as they got to land, they saw craggy rocks and black volcanic sand stretched inland about a hundred yards to the base of a high stone wall, which marched off in either direction as far as we could see. A sound came from somewhere nearby in the green gloom, echoing off the stones—the howl of a large animal.

"Old Three-Face is hungry," Charon said. His smile turned skeletal in the greenish light. "Bad luck for you, godlings."

The bottom of our boat slid onto the black sand. The dead began to disembark. A woman holding a little girl's hand. An old man and an old woman hobbling along arm in arm. A boy no older than Percy was, shuffling silently along in his gray robe.

Charon said, "I'd wish you luck, mate, but there isn't any down here. Mind you, don't forget to mention my pay raise." He counted the golden coins into his pouch, then took up his pole. He warbled something that sounded like a Barry Manilow song as he ferried the empty barge back across the river.

As they tracked along the beaten path with the other dead people, they wondered what was in store for them. They wonder what the true entrance would be like. The Pearly Gates or a big black portcullis, or something like that. But the entrance to the Underworld looked like a cross between airport security and the Jersey Turnpike.

There were three separate entrances under one huge black archway that said YOU ARE NOW ENTERING EREBUS. Each entrance had a pass-through metal detector with security cameras mounted on top. Beyond this were tollbooths manned by black-robed ghouls like Charon.

The howling of the hungry animal was really loud now, but they couldn't see where it was coming from. The three-headed dog, Cerberus, who was supposed to guard Hades's door, was nowhere to be seen.

The dead queued up in the three lines, two marked ATTENDANT ON DUTY, and one marked EZ DEATH. The EZ DEATH line was moving right along. The other two were crawling.

"Wow, even in death people want to take the easy and quick way." Alex commented, a bit surprised.

"Right." Percy replied before asking Annabeth, "so which kiosk do you think?"

"The fast line must go straight to the Asphodel Fields," she said. "No contest. They don't want to risk judgment from the court, because it might go against them."

"There's a court for dead people?" asked a surprised Percy.

"Yeah. Three judges. They switch around who sits on the bench. King Minos, Thomas Jefferson, Shakespeare—people like that. Sometimes they look at a life and decide that person needs a special reward—the Fields of Elysium. Sometimes they decide on punishment. But most people, well, they just lived. Nothing special, good or bad. So they go to the Asphodel Fields."

"And do what?"

Grover said, "Imagine standing in a wheat field in Kansas. Forever."

"Harsh," Percy said.

"Yeah, but talk about a crash course in the family business." Alex muttered.

"But not as harsh as that," Grover muttered. "Look."

A couple of black-robbed ghouls had pulled aside one spirit and were frisking him at the security desk. The face of the dead man looked vaguely familiar.

"He's that preacher who made the news, remember?" Grover asked.

"Oh, yeah." Percy did remember now. They had seen him on TV a couple of times at the Yancy Academy dorm. He was this annoying televangelist from upstate New York who'd raised millions of dollars for orphanages and then got caught spending the money on stuff for his mansion, like gold-plated toilet seats, and an indoor putt-putt golf course. He'd died in a police chase when his "Lamborghini for the Lord" went off a cliff.

Alex glared at the spirit. "Greedy Bastard."

"What're they doing to him?" Percy asked.

"Special punishment from Hades," Grover guessed. "The really bad people get his personal attention as soon as they arrive. The Fur—the Kindly Ones will set up an eternal torture for him."

Percy shuddered before he looked over at Alex, remembering when he mentioned that Hades was a fair god. This is just an example of that.

"But if he's a preacher and he believes in a different hell…."

Grover shrugged "Who says he's seeing this place the same way we're seeing it? Humans see what they want to see. You're very stubborn - er, persistent, that way."

They got closer to the gates and the howling was now so loud that it shook the ground at their feet.

Then, around fifty feet in front of them, the green mist shimmered. And standing just where the path split into three lanes was an enormous shadowy monster.

It wasn't noticeable beforehand because it was half transparent, like the dead. Until it moved, it simply blended with whatever was behind it. Only the eyes and teeth looked solid and it was staring right at them, Alex, in particular.

He was actually surprised upon seeing Cerberus and his surprise was expressed by Percy, who said "He's a Rottweiler."

"Huh... I expected something similar to what dad told me. More... wolf-like." Alex muttered, remembering when his dad told him that he faced a Cerberus at the Temen-Ni-Gru tower.

The dead walked right up to him—no fear at all. The ATTENDANT ON DUTY lines parted on either side of him. The EZ DEATH spirits walked right between his front paws and under his belly, which they could do without even crouching.

"I'm starting to see him better," Percy muttered. "Why is that?"

"I think ..." Annabeth moistened her lips. "I'm afraid it's because we're getting closer to being dead."

The dog's middle head craned toward them. It sniffed the air and growled.

"It can smell the living," Percy said.

"But that's okay," Grover said, trembling next to Percy. "Because we have a plan."

"Right," Annabeth said. Alex had never heard her voice sound quite so small. "A plan."

They moved toward the monster.

The middle head snarled at them, then barked so loud Alex felt his bones rattle. Demigods... food.

"Big boy, big bark with a bite to back it up." Alex commented.

"Can you understand it?" Percy asked Alex and Grover.

"Yep." Alex nodded.

"What's it saying?"

"He's hungry." Alex said, then smacked his hands together and walked ahead, getting Cerberus' attention. "Hey, big boy."

All three heads were staring at him now, their nostrils inhaling the air around them deeply. Are you food? The left head asked.

We are so hungry. The right head almost whined.

"We're not food." Alex shook his head, stopping a few feet away. "We're just here to have a chat with your master, Hades. It's very important and you would be doing us a favour by letting us pass. Here." He pulled out a red rubber ball from his backup, having seen one at the Lotus Hotel and figured it might come in handy if they did encounter Cerberus. "Want to play?"

Ooh, a ball. The middle head said, staring intently at the ball. In fact all three heads were staring at it.

"That's right." Alex smirked. "Want a belly rub and you get the ball?"

YES, PLEASE! All three heads said, panting like an excited dog.

Alex tossed the ball to the middle head and Cerberus laid on his side, allowing Alex to quickly give him a belly rub while scratching the left head's chin.

"Good boy, who's a good boy?" Alex praised with a grin. Dammit, now he wanted a dog.

He then scratched the chin of the other heads while they played with the rubber ball.

Master doesn't do this anymore. The left head whined.

Alex smiled sadly. Poor Cerberus, he was a big puppy when he wanted affection. Hades must've been too busy governing the Underworld to play with him. "Well, I can speak to Hades about giving you more play time." he suggested, while gesturing for Percy, Annabeth and Grover to get moving.

"Oh, who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? That's right, you are." He said, giving him praise and Cerberus ended up slamming one of his hind legs to the ground as the other three proceeded down the line.

Upon seeing that his friends made it to the metal detector, now was the time to get going.

"I'm sorry to say this, but I'm gonna have to go now, buddy." He told Cerberus, stopping the belly rubs and all three heads looked at him sadly, whining as well.

Really? Why? All three heads asked him.

"Like I said, me and my friends have to talk to Hades. It is super important that we do so. But I do promise that, no matter how long it takes, I'll come back with treats and some toys. And I do promise to tell Hades to give you the affection you clearly deserve, okay?" He told the large monster.

Okay. Goodbye, demigod. And good luck. Cerberus said, all three heads nuzzling him.

With a wave goodbye, Alex joined back up with his friends.

"I was worried he might eat you." Annabeth said, sounding incredibly relieved.

"Nah, turns out he just needed some affection and love." Alex shrugged.

With that now over and done with, they crossed the metal detector to the EZ DEATH line, which instantly screamed and set off flashing red lights.

"Unauthorised possessions! Magic detected!"

They continued on, bursting through the EZ DEATH line gate, which had even more alarms blaring, and they raced into the Underworld.

A few minutes later, the four were hiding, most of them out of breath, in the rotten trunk of an immense black tree as security ghouls scuttled past, yelling for the Furies to provide backup.

As they waited for the ghouls to pass, Alex had to endure the rather heartbreaking and mournful keening of Cerberus in the distance, who was already missing his new friend.


And that's it for this chapter. Don't worry, this isn't gonna be a musical, I just figured it would be funny to add in a song.