Chapter 5

Shadow

He was back with her.

They were watching another black and white movie in her room. The light was dim and cozy. A tarp covered them, giving them a makeshift fort. There were plenty of pillows and blankets for them to lay on. Shadow felt happiness wash over him like he hadn't felt in 50 years.

Shadow knew this was a dream, and he didn't care. He used to dream about Maria a lot when he was in stasis, but they were usually nightmares of what happened.

Shadow looked over at Maria's dream form. She was wearing her blue high-waisted pants and colorful striped shirt. A blue headband was in her blonde hair. What would she do if he said something to her?

"Maria?" he asked. His voice sounded almost like an echo in the dream world.

She turned her gaze from the TV and smiled at him. Her face looked exactly like he remembered, although it was muted. "What is it?"

He smiled sadly. "I miss you," he said almost too quietly to be heard.

She gave a tiny nod, a hundred emotions in her blue eyes. "I know. I miss you too."

He felt his eyes tear up. "I would do anything to see you again."

Maria sat up. "I would do anything for you to be happy," she countered.

Shadow choked. "I could've saved you."

He wholeheartedly believed that he could have saved her. Why hadn't he tried harder to stop GUN? He'd had the strength and speed all those years ago, but he hadn't been fully aware of his abilities. Still, why hadn't he tried to fight GUN instead of just retreating? He could have incapacitated each of the soldiers. He could have whisked Maria and Gerald away. Instead, he made the fatal error of retreating with them, and that was when one of them took his shot…

Maria shook her head and smiled lovingly. "You couldn't have known that the explosion would happen. Even you can't see the future, Shadow. You did what you thought was best."

He started crying, and he felt her embrace him. She stroked his quills.

"Shadow, listen to me. I want you to be happy," she said as his face was buried in her shoulder. "I want you to make new friends and live a full life."

He sniffled and looked up at her. "I don't know how. I feel like there's this endless abyss inside of me."

She put her hands on either side of his face. "Shadow, I don't want you to be miserable because of what happened to me," she said, emphasizing each word. "You're not leaving me behind by going forward."

"What should I do?" he asked.

She smiled again. "Give them a chance to be happy. Do it for me."

"What?" he asked, raising a brow. "What are you saying?"

"I never got the chance to say goodbye, but if I had, I would have asked for you to help people." She paused. "I would have asked for you to be happy, and to help people."

He frowned. "Maria, I wish you could be here to do it with me."

She nodded. "Me too, Shadow, but this life isn't forever, ya know. I'll see you again."

His eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"I'll see you on the other side, Shadow."

He looked at her, confused. All she did was wave goodbye, and the dream world blurred.

Shadow awoke with a start. He was sweating. His eyes were wide, and his heart was going faster than normal. He was in his cot in the Wachowski's attic. Shadow turned to see the clock. It was only two in the morning. The others were sound asleep—he could see their outlines in their beds.

Shadow threw off his blanket and ran down the stairs. He found himself alone in a dark living room, so he ran out the door and into the yard. He stared at the mess that GUN had made, and found that he needed to get farther away. He sprinted down the road and out of town. The pain didn't leave him. He felt like something was gripping his heart.

He had to escape.

Shadow ran through the quietness of the night for thirty minutes before ending up in a valley. His superior eyes saw hundreds of yellow wildflowers in the dark.

He tried to remember every detail of his dream. It had been the happiest he'd felt in decades, and now it was over, and he didn't know how to interpret it. Had that really been Maria, or had it simply been his subconscious? Simple logic said that it was his subconscious, but he didn't think so. And now she was gone again, and he hated it.

He wished it was morning so that he'd at least have someone to talk to. After another minute, he decided he couldn't stay here all night, so he headed back.

Shadow dragged himself through the front door of the Wachowski's house. To his surprise, the light was turned on.

Maddie was standing in the middle of the living room. She was wearing bright pink pajamas with animal prints, and she looked worried. "Where did you go?"

Shadow felt his face crinkle. He curled his fists. He would not cry.

For a moment, she waited. "Shadow, what's wrong?" she finally asked.

"I had a dream. About her," he managed to say. "I had to get out of the house."

"Oh, Shadow," she said, coming toward him. She took his hand and led him to the couch. He felt her pet his quills before putting her arms around him. "It's okay if you want to cry."

"No," he said, wiping his tears away.

"Shadow, look at me," she said, holding his face in her hands. "We've talked about this before, but I don't think I said the right things. I need you to know that even though it feels like nothing will ever be right again right now, you will be okay."

"How do you know?" he asked doubtfully.

"I know because we all eventually lose family. We remember our loved ones, but we proceed with life. In the meantime, we're all here to help you bear what you're going through."

Maddie's words made him feel a little better. For the sake of his sanity, Shadow had to believe that he'd be okay. And for the sake of Maria, he would honor her wish for him to help people.

"How are you feeling?" Maddie asked, handing him a cup of coffee. It was six in the morning now, and Shadow was tired from not sleeping the rest of the night.

"Just tired," he said, taking the cup. He was sitting in a chair in the living room.

It was early enough for the others to still be in bed, but Tom and Maddie had jobs to get ready for. Tom was making eggs in the kitchen, and the sound of sizzling filled the room.

Shadow brought the cup to his lips. "Hm, interesting. I think I like it."

"I know, right? It's great," Maddie said, happily walking back to the kitchen. He appreciated her amiable personality.

Shadow cleared his throat. "Maddie, I'm sorry about waking you last night. That wasn't my intention. How did you even know I was gone?"

She shrugged. "It was kinda weird, I just knew. I woke up randomly, and I thought something was wrong. A mother's intuition, I suppose."

Shadow's ears twitched with curiosity. Maddie was probably talking about how she learned to be motherly to the other three, but the implication was there. "You and Tom don't have your own children," he said.

Maddie moved some plates around on the counter. "Um, no we don't. We were never able to have children. We thought about adopting, but our careers were so demanding that we never had the time to go through the process. Then all our kids fell in our laps."

"What a strange order of events," Shadow commented.

Maddie and Tom brought over their breakfast to the living room, and Maddie handed Shadow a plate. Tom turned on the TV to the news, and the weather came up.

Shadow stared at his breakfast and wondered if he should ask them their opinion on what Maria said.

"Maddie?" Shadow asked.

"Yeah?"

"Do you believe in 'the other side?'"

"Hm, what do you mean?" she asked, taking a bite of her eggs.

He hesitated. "A life after this one."

Tom and Maddie shared a look. "Yeah, we do, Shadow, although we don't talk about it much," Maddie said. "I'm sure that Maria's there, if that's what you're asking."

"Yeah, I agree with Maddie, Shadow," Tom said. "I would be lost if I didn't think I'd see my mom again."

Shadow nodded slightly and continued staring at his food. He noted the death of Tom's mother. "She told me last night that I'd see her on the other side."

"Maddie said that you had a dream about her," Tom said. "Sometimes I still have dreams about my mom. Did she say anything else?"

"Yes. She said that I should make new friends and be happy. She also wanted me to help people."

They smiled. "I like that idea," Tom said. "I wish we could have met her."

"I do as well. But I don't even know where to begin with helping people."

Tom gave him a knowing look. "I'm sure we'll think of something."

I wish there were more scenes with Shadow and Maria on this site, so here's one for you guys!

I had some difficulties writing this chapter. Shadow was pretty emotional here, but that's because he never processed Maria's death, and then he relived it for 50 years. After he woke up from stasis, his fury numbed his pain, and now that his idea of revenge is gone, he has to deal with his trauma.

I really appreciate every review, and I'll try to write your requests!