July 1866
When they arrived in New Orleans, they took a room for the newlyweds in the most expensive hotel in the city. Scarlett had never seen such luxury before. The room was even more ornate than the one they had spent the first night in.
They had been in New Orleans for almost a week, and for Scarlett, everything she saw around her was new. Atlanta was nothing like this city. Shops, people in bright clothes, balls, and champagne that flowed like a river. And especially the food. Scarlett saw and tasted dishes for the first time that she had never even heard of before.
Sometimes, food seemed more appealing than jewelry stores. The war was over and she had money. But Tara's hungry ghost still haunted her. The fear of returning to that time was always there for her, although Scarlett never told anyone.
During this time, Rhett introduced her to his friends. He always called them only his blockade companions. They didn't look like the people of Atlanta at all. Most of them were Northerners. Carpetbaggers, as they were called in the South. They all made money during the war. They believed it would buy them a place in society.
Their wives enthusiastically accepted Scarlett into their circle. These women invited her to dinners. They fluttered around her at the balls and parties she and Rhett attended. Scarlett was skeptical of her new acquaintances. These women were too noisy, wore too bright dresses, used blush, and some even had dyed hair, and the amount of jewelry they wore probably exceeded the number on store shelves.
When she shared her thoughts with Rhett, he just laughed and said that she didn't have to make friends with them, but it would be useful for her to talk to someone outside the Old Guard to better understand people. She didn't fully understand what he was talking about, but she didn't give it much importance.
On Tuesday evening, she and Rhett were invited to Mr. and Mrs. Talbot's party. A very extravagant couple for Scarlett's taste. Mary Talbot was too vulgar. Scarlett learned she once owned a brothel. In every conversation, she kept making vulgar jokes and hints. Sometimes, their meaning was unclear to her. In her presence, Mrs. Talbot and her friends tried to behave like ladies, but they were not very good at it.
That evening, the ladies gathered apart from the men. They were enjoying cigars and brandy. The ladies were playing whist at that moment. Scarlett wasn't a pro at playing cards, so it seemed boring enough to her. For that, the ladies liked to gossip. Mary Talbot, Sarah Prescott, and Susan Frost were pleased to discuss the love affairs of Amelia Davenport.
Scarlett took little part in such conversations, not only because she did not know the person in question, but also because she was too inexperienced in these matters.
"Can you imagine," Sarah whispered conspiratorially, "Amelia is with the baby again."
Scarlett gasps in surprise at the table.
"Really? This is the third time in the last few years," Mary remarked reproachfully.
"Aren't they using anything to prevent this? How does her husband feel about this?" Susan asked.
"He probably doesn't mind having another child. Although I would still use 'protection' in her place", Mary replied.
"What do you think, Scarlett?"
The women paid attention to her. If she had been silent, now they demanded she join the conversation.
Scarlett had no idea what they were talking about. It showed on her face. The women looked at each other and giggled.
"It seems our newly minted Mrs. Butler doesn't know what we're talking about," Mary said condescendingly. "Didn't Captain Butler tell you about such details of family life?"
Scarlett shook her head. The woman opposite gave her condescending glances. This angered her. It was as if she was a small child and they were adults who took pity on her to share something important.
"Darling, you southern ladies are so gentle and suspicious. Your husband just didn't want to hurt your tender soul," Susan sang sweetly." But of course, we are not like that and we will be happy to share all the secrets with you."
They laughed, tossed aside their cards, and pulled their chairs closer to Scarlett.
Scarlett wondered if there was something Rhett hadn't shared with her. She was so inexperienced in marital relations and could only rely on Rhett for her knowledge. And she was excited to learn something new from someone else.
"Dear..." Mary put hers on hers. "You know that you can sleep with your husband... or with any other man and at the same time not have a child, or get rid of him, if it so happened that you found out you were carrying a child?"
Scarlett sat in shock. It had never occurred to her that such a thing was possible. She knew that marriage to a man always produced children. She had never imagined that it could be otherwise.
She heard the general laughter again.
"So we were right and Butler didn't tell you anything. That bastard, like all men, decided to tie his wife to the house with a child," Sarah was indignant.
"Sarah!" said Mary indignantly. "Don't talk about Mr. Butler like that."
"Scarlett, there are certain things he can use to keep you from having a child..."
The next twenty minutes literally turned Scarlett's world upside down. She found out about things that no Southern lady seemed to know about. If her mother found out about what they were discussing, she would be speechless. Did Rhett use these "little things," as they called it with his Watling and with the other horrible women he slept with? Why didn't he tell her about it? And why didn't you use it with her? Did he want a child? Rhett didn't look like the kind of man who would be crazy about hanging out with kids. However, he used to play with Bo a lot when he was at Aunt Pitty's.
Scarlett suddenly thought that she might already be pregnant. She blushed, remembering how many times they had made love in the last week. Rhett was restrained on their first morning and on the train, too. But, as soon as they arrived in New Orleans, he went crazy. He didn't stop touching her and kissing her.
Every morning, he woke her with a passionate kiss. It distracted her from what his hands were doing. When Scarlett came to, she was moaning under him, feeling him move between her thighs. Sometimes at night, he'd wake her after she fell asleep, overwhelmed by their earlier lovemaking. He'd take her again, often roughly and quickly. This would reignite her passion but then quickly throw her off her peak of pleasure. And not once during this time he didn't use or even offer to use the thing that her new friends had told her about.
All of this was such a revelation to Scarlett that she needed time to process it all in her head. But these women didn't stop talking, switching from her to other equally shocking topics that Scarlett didn't want to hear about. Citing the fact that she had a headache, she went to look for Rhett.
Her new friends decided it was time to join their husbands and escort her into the living room.
"Darling, are you all right? " Rhett gave her a little hug as she returned to the common room with the other women.
She was excited about everything she heard and tried not to show it, but it was impossible to hide anything from Rhett. She heard a giggle behind her, and Rhett looked in that direction and frowned, studying her face intently.
"No, Rhett, it's okay. I think we should go back to our room, I have a little headache."
Scarlett thought he didn't believe her, but he nodded anyway.
"Of course, dear"
They said goodbye to the guests and headed for their carriage. Once inside, Scarlett felt relief. She had finally lost those obsessive women. But she could see Rhett, who was sitting across from her, watching her intently. He didn't say anything, but his eyes burned into her, which made Scarlett squirm under his gaze.
Upon reaching the room, Scarlett went to the dressing room. She tried to undress. It took her too long, but she was able to manage somehow. She didn't want to ask Rhett for help, and it was too late for the maid. Scarlett was nervous because she wanted to ask Rhett about what she had learned that day, but she was afraid that he might make fun of her or get angry.
After changing into her nightgown, she climbed into bed, waiting for Rhett. All this time he had stayed in the living room and did not try to help her or find out what was wrong with her. Scarlett was lying with her eyes closed, pretending to be asleep, when she heard Rhett enter the bedroom. She could hear the rustle of clothes and after a few minutes, the mattress gave way under her and Rhett slid into bed.
Scarlett was surprised that he didn't try to hug her or kiss her. This was usually how each of their nights started, but not today. After a while, she opened her eyes, the room was dark. She tried to listen to Rhett's breathing, maybe he had fallen asleep.
"I'm not sleeping, Scarlett," Rhett's firm voice came from behind her, which made her flinch.
She turned hesitantly and saw that he was lying staring at the ceiling. In the dark, she couldn't see him clearly. But, she could tell from the contours of his face that his jaw was tightly clenched.
"Is something wrong, Rhett?" she asked.
"Why did you decide that?" he answered the question with a question.
Scarlett didn't know how to explain to him or how to start a conversation at all.
"Well, you're acting weird..." she began, and heard him burst out laughing.
"Am I acting weird? I can say the same about you, my dear wife. It seems that something happened at the party that excited you. Or maybe your new friends gave you some stupid idea..."
Scarlett grimaced, once again making sure that this man had an amazing ability to know what she was hiding from him.
"Your silence suggests that I'm right..." Rhett's words snapped her out of her thoughts. "So what was it? Did they offer you some kind of adventure?" He turned around and lit a candle.
The warm light lit the room. It was not bright enough to illuminate it well, but it let them see each other. Scarlett heard Rhett laughing again as he looked at her.
"Darling, tell me what you were talking about. Your look of a scared kitten speaks for itself."
Scarlett sat up in bed, trying to get as far away from him as possible. She felt uncomfortable and didn't want to tell him everything at all.
"No, there's nothing to tell, just gossip and nothing more." She tried to dodge his questions.
"If it was just gossip, you would have told me right away instead of acting so weird the rest of the evening. Come on, Scarlett. It must be something scandalous... They advised you to take a lover. Your new friends are famous for their own... impermanence. "
He was amused by this situation and turned to face her, leaning on his arm and looking at her curiously. Rhett was enjoying her discomfort and wasn't going to give her a chance to hide.
"What? Rhett! How can you say that, they told me about some things..." She saw his eyes light up when she said too much.
Scarlett tried to get out of bed and hide in the closet, but Rhett was faster and grabbed her arm.
"No, you can't hide," he tried to speak as gently as possible, but his sweet speech could not deceive her." Come on, darling, come on, tell me..."
Scarlett sighed.
"If I tell you, will you stop torturing me?" he nodded, settling himself more comfortably on the pillow.
"So..."
If Scarlett hadn't felt like a fish in a pan at that moment, she would have been amused by Rhett's enthusiasm. But she was too nervous.
"Good...if you want to know, they told me there are things that you can use so that I don't have a child..." she looked at Rhett defiantly, but her words didn't seem to surprise him at all.
"Ah, so that's it. I think I need to change my mind about whether you should spend time with them," he replied calmly.
"Is that all you can say?" she was indignant. "And if I'm not mistaken, until recently it was you who insisted that I make new friends. And now they don't suit you."
"They fill your sweet head with unnecessary things." He rolled over and lit a cigar from the bedside table. "These are not the things a good wife should know."
Anger flared up inside Scarlett. And he was telling her about a good wife, that he even knew about. A man who had spent the last few years in a brothel.
"Since when did you become a champion of morality, Rhett? Or does it only apply to me, and you can do whatever you want? You've been using this, haven't you? " Anger gave her the determination to look him straight in the eye and ask uncomfortable questions.
"Yes," he replied without a trace of embarrassment. "But I won't use it with you because you're my wife, not a whore from a brothel."
His words should have made her understand his true attitude towards her, but Scarlett was so angry that she didn't even think for a moment about what meaning he put into what he said.
"If I say that I don't want children from you!" she screamed.
At that moment, she regretted saying those words because his face contorted with anger for a second, and she thought he might even hit her, but the next moment, his face took on that detached expression that was there most of the time.
"Well, I'm glad we've figured it out now, Mrs. Butler. In that case, I should go in search of our new "little friends," who from now on will be our constant companions in bed," she blushed at his remark but said nothing.
This conversation was getting more and more awkward, and Scarlett had long regretted starting it at all. Rhett got out of bed and started getting dressed.
"Rhett, where are you going? It's night" She couldn't figure out what had happened and, most importantly, where he was going.
"Didn't I tell you that earlier, dear? I'm going to a place that works at night and where I can find what I need. Or are you planning to abstain from performing marital duties altogether? Then I'll find solace in that place too." Scarlett couldn't recover from the shock his words brought.
He was going to a brothel and didn't even hide it. How did it all get so bad?
"Rhett, you can't go there." She knelt on the bed, watching as he continued to dress.
"Why?" He stopped and raised an eyebrow. "Come on, Mrs. Butler, tell me why I shouldn't go there?"
"Because..." Scarlett didn't know what to say to her or how to convince him to stay. "Because I'm your wife..."
He burst out laughing.
"How wonderful that you remembered this, my pet."
"Don't call me that!" she screamed again.
She hated it when he called her that. But he didn't even seem to notice her outrage.
"Rhett, please... I didn't mean what I said."
"Really? It seems that you have clearly voiced your desires and I, as a devoted husband, ready to do everything to fulfill them."
These were beautiful words. But, they were so venomous that Scarlett wanted to scream at him to leave and not return.
"I was angry because you didn't tell me about it earlier. I felt like an idiot when they laughed at me," she said resentfully. "Stupid geese, they want to be ladies, but they talk about such obscenities."
It seemed this statement softened Rhett, and he laughed softly, sitting down on the bed.
"But you were interested in it. Otherwise, you wouldn't have asked," he smiled slyly. Scarlett relaxed a little since he was no longer angry.
"Just because they mentioned that you also used these with..." she trailed off. "But don't use it with me."
"Come here..." he pulled her onto his lap and buried his face in her hair. "Do you not want children?"
His voice was low and muffled, and she had to strain her ears to hear what he was asking her. Scarlett thought for a while.
"I don't want to give birth to a child a year and become like a hippo..." she stubbornly replied and heard his laughter.
He cupped her face in his hands and left a small kiss on the tip of her nose.
"You will never look like a hippo. You've never even seen them."
"I saw the pictures in the book; they are huge. I don't want to become like that. But I won't mind one child..." she kissed him on the cheek, trying to smooth out the situation that had arisen between them.
"Well, dear wife, it seems we are coming to a certain compromise." He smiled.
"Compromise?" She didn't understand what he was talking about.
"We can return to this issue after the first child, whenever he appears. In the meantime, we will forget about the existence of those 'things.' She nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Good. Anyway, Mary said I could get rid of the baby if I didn't want it".
Rhett's face darkened abruptly, and he grabbed her shoulders painfully.
"What did you say?" He seemed to have lost his usual composure.
"That I can get rid of the baby..." she swallowed. "Rhett what?.."
"What did she say to you, Scarlett?" he shook her, which brought tears to her eyes.
"Nothing special, just that it can be done and that she can help if I want to… Rhett, you're hurting me." His grip loosened a little, but he still didn't let go.
"Of course, the brothel owner knows about such things. I'll twist her neck for daring to tell you this," he said through clenched teeth.
"But Rhett, I don't understand why you're reacting like that."
"Because your new friend, damn her, probably didn't tell you that you could die..." Scarlett turned pale.
"No, she didn't say that; she said that it was possible to get rid of the baby." She felt tears running down her cheeks.
"Once, many years ago, I saw this happen to a woman… She was dying in terrible agony… Scarlett, promise me you'll never do that. Whatever happened..." he didn't seem angry anymore; he seemed worried, and that hurt Scarlett.
She nodded, snuggling closer to him now. Rhett pulled her closer, rocking her like a small child.
"I promise, Rhett, just please don't get mad," she whispered.
"I'm not mad at you. I don't want to see that woman around you anymore. And when we get back to Atlanta, don't you dare invite them into our house."
She nodded again, Scarlett didn't want to discuss the subject anymore.
"Rhett... won't you leave?" She looked at him hopefully and got his crooked smile in return.
"No, dear, I'm not going anywhere. It's time for us to go to bed."
He put her to bed and then undressed and lay down next to her, wrapping her in his arms. Scarlett breathed a sigh of relief, glad that their quarrel was over and peace had returned. Unfortunately, she should have known that this was the beginning.
That evening, they sat in a restaurant. Scarlett ordered her third cake after a two-course dinner. Rhett looked at her skeptically.
"Honey, can you eat this? Be careful, or you'll get fat like Mammy, and I'll divorce you."
He laughed, but Scarlett, who had already raised her fork to her mouth, stopped and looked at him. Nausea rose in her throat, and she pushed the plate away from her. He was obviously trying to make a joke, but it sounded insulting to Scarlett. Moreover, it reminded her why Rhett married her. The main condition was that he wanted her. If she stopped looking the way he likes her, the deal is broken.
"Scarlett, finish eating your cake," but she didn't want to listen to him.
"I'm not hungry anymore, could we go back to the hotel, Rhett?"
She saw him frown, but she didn't want to explain anything. Scarlett just left the table and headed out of the restaurant. She didn't even look back, knowing that Rhett would join her in a minute.
There was silence in the carriage, and Scarlett sat as far away from him as possible. She also silently went to their room. It was only there that she spoke for the first time.
"Rhett, please call the maid, I want to change my clothes," and went into the bedroom, closing the door.
Less than a minute later, the door opened and Scarlett turned around, wondering how the maid could come so quickly, but Rhett was standing on the threshold and his face expressed extreme irritation.
"Did you call the maid?"
"I'll do it myself. Turn around."
He quickly began to unbutton her dress and take off the rest of her clothes.
"Scarlett, I don't understand what upset you so much, it was just a joke. I admire your ability to eat so many dishes at dinner and feel good afterward."
But his words had no effect on Scarlett, she wanted Rhett to apologize for it. Even as a joke, she didn't want to hear something like that from him. She turned to him when he finished undressing her, and she was left in her chemise.
"I'll listen to your wishes, Captain Butler." She stared at him stubbornly.
Rhett sighed in exasperation.
"Scarlett, this is ridiculous..."
"I don't see anything funny about it. Moreover, thanks for reminding me about the terms of our deal, I admit the events of the last few days have made me forget about it. But I will correct this mistake and remember that my main task is to be attractive to you in bed!"
As soon as the words left her lips, Rhett's face contorted with anger.
"Well, Mrs. Butler, it's really good that you remembered this, I advise you not to forget about it in the future and follow it. I want to see a beautiful wife by my side, not a fat cow that is being prepared for slaughter."
Scarlett felt like she had been hit, she wanted to cry. This was the first time they had mentioned this fact at all. This week of their honeymoon made Scarlett believe they could be happy. Rhett was gentle and attentive, never trying to prick her or be rude. They danced had fun, and Rhett introduced her to his business partners who were in town at the time. She never remembered that Rhett had told her he didn't love her and married her to get her body. She felt like a whore now, no better than Watling.
Rhett didn't say anything else, and stormed out of the room, slamming the door. Scarlett expected to hear the room door slam and for him to go somewhere far away from her, but nothing happened. He chose to stay in the living room, but Scarlett didn't care. She turned off the light and went to bed, trying to fall asleep. But sleep did not come. Instead, her thoughts swirled. They made her burst into tears.
She cried, remembering a hungry time in Tara. She woke up and fell asleep thinking about where to find food for everyone. She had to kill a Yankee, and the money she found on him saved them from starvation. And also that he married a man who didn't love her in the hope that... she didn't know what, at that moment it seemed right, but now she wasn't so sure about it.
At some point, she fell asleep and found herself back in her nightmare. Only this dream was not like the previous one.
Scarlett found herself in the hall where their wedding had recently taken place. But instead of a beautifully decorated room, she saw bare walls and broken furniture. There was a man standing at the end of the room, but she couldn't see his face. She thought it was Rhett, but as she got closer, she realized it was Ashley. His face was angry, and his eyes were burning with a strange fire. When she approached him, he spoke.
"See, Scarlett, I told you that you shouldn't have married him. He's a scoundrel, he'll make a mockery of you in front of all the people of Atlanta. But it's your own fault, and now you're going to live with this shame."
He started laughing, louder and louder, so that Scarlett had to cover her ears with her hands. She saw the door and ran there, finding herself on the street. People were crowding around her, shouting at her and pushing her. She ran and ran, hearing the taunts and screams. Suddenly, someone grabbed her arm, and she saw Belle Watling.
"See Scarlett, you're no better than me... Do you think he thinks you're a lady? He thinks you're a whore he bought. Just like he bought me and the other girls."
"No..." Scarlett screamed. "No... it's not true, it's not true… Rhett! Rhett!..."
She needed to find him, she needed to talk to him so that he would say that it wasn't true. She knew she had to run to find him. But the crowd was closing in. They were getting closer, and their screams grew louder.
"Rhett!" that's all she could shout.
Someone suddenly shook her, calling her by her name.
"Scarlett, wake up," Rhett shook her by the shoulders until she opened her eyes.
"Rhett, you're here..." she continued to cry, still not fully understanding where she was.
"You had a nightmare, it's okay, honey, don't cry." He hugged her, pulling her to him and leaving light kisses in her hair.
"Oh Rhett, it was so scary, they were all laughing at me and trying to grab me, and I was running and running... and I couldn't find you." She clutched at his shirt as hard as she could, afraid to let go.
"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Are these the same nightmares you told me about earlier?" he asked solicitously.
"No, this dream was different. In ordinary nightmares, I'm always cold and hungry. Oh, Rhett, it's so scary when you're hungry all the time and I don't know where to find food. In Tara, I woke up and fell asleep every day thinking about where we could get food to feed everyone. I even had to..." Here she stopped, Scarlett almost gave away her worst secret.
"What did you do, Scarlett? Tell me," Rhett asked, stroking her hair.
Scarlett tensed and tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let her do it. She looked into his eyes, and Rhett looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue.
"I had to kill a Yankee..." she said quickly.
Scarlett was afraid Rhett would push her away, start screaming, or even walk away from her. But he looked completely calm, and it seemed that this confession did not shock him at all.
"If he threatened your life, you did the right thing," he replied. "Tell me what happened."
She sighed with relief. The words poured out of her. This was the first time she could freely tell someone about it. For some reason, she was sure that Rhett would not condemn her after hearing the details.
"He was a deserter, everyone was in the field. There was only me and Melanie in the house, who did not get out of bed. He wanted to take my mother's earrings… It was her last thing… "She started crying again, remembering those events. "I took the revolver you left me and shot him in the face. No one ever found out what happened except...Melanie. She helped me bury him in the garden by an old tree..."
Here he looked really surprised.
"Did Miss Melly help you?" he asked.
Scarlett nodded.
"And until that moment, no one but the two of us knew what had happened."
"I repeat again that you did the right thing, dear. You're so brave. Always remember that." He kissed her cheek. "I will never leave you again. And every time you have another nightmare, you have to tell yourself that as long as I'm around, you won't need anything."
Scarlett nodded, hugging him tighter. They had not discussed what had happened between them a few hours before. But in the morning, there were two huge cakes on her breakfast tray.
