Chapter 22: Nifty's Day On

The room was immaculate. Nary a trace of dust nor speck of dirt could be found within, not if you were to look with a microscope. As was to be expected of the Hazbin Hotel's unhinged housekeeper. After all, her passion for cleanliness was eclipsed only by her obsession with men.

In the first week alone she had disinfected the bedspread, scoured the bathroom, shampooed and steam cleaned the carpet, cleaned and scented the dressers, polished the fixtures, and cleaned and pressed her entire wardrobe in addition to her regular duties as the housekeeper.

She lie in her bed still and calm arrayed in her classic silk nightgown. The only sound the gentle rise and fall of her breath. Slumber was just about the only time the miniature maid was actually peaceful, her fractured psyche and obsessive nature driving her to frenzy whenever she was awake. Alas this peaceful sleep was not to last, as before long,

*R-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-N-G!*

The twin bells of an alarm resounded as Nifty's classic bedside clock sounded the start of a new day. Her sole eye opened and blinked for a second before focusing and giving the nimble nymph a view of her surroundings. A short stretch, a little yawn, and she threw back the covers before darting into her washroom to perform her morning ablutions.

Some time later she stepped out already dressed in her uniform. Zipping to her bedspread the sheets and blankets were straitened within seconds. As to be expected with her decades of practice and phenomenal speed. With her room squared away it was time for breakfast.

Meals at the Hazbin Hotel were mostly self service. While occasionally someone took the initiative to cook for all of them most days everyone just cooked for themselves, the hotel's resident couple being the sole exception. This would need to change if the Hotel ever started to get popular, but for now it wasn't a problem.

Wasting no time, Nifty brought her plate and glass to the table and tuckered right in to her morning meal. Eating and sleeping were just about the only two things Nifty took her time with, as her rapid pace took more out of her than she would admit. That and she had learned to chew after choking to death one time too many.

One by one the others eventually filed in and sat down after fixing their own respective meals. While they all greeted or acknowledged the small woman none except Charlie really attempted conversation with the disquieting domestic. They had learned better after the first few days.

"So Nifty, did you sleep well? Any big plans for today?"

Hope sprang eternal with the positive perky princess. Though this latest attempt to converse with her somewhat sectionable staff was likely to be as ill fated as the last, she still made the attempt to reach the small woman.

"BUGS! There's ALWAYS more bugs to kill around here! Then of course there's the washing, and scrubbing, and dusting, and scenting, and waxing, and-"

It was about here that Charlie stopped listening as Nifty rambled on about the things she usually did throughout the day. Even a princess with rainbows in her soul could only listen to this so many times before she started tuning out. But this time, if she had listened all the way through, she might've heard something different at the end.

Soon enough breakfast was over and the others left their dishes for Nifty. Not that she paid them any mind, and just set to her work voraciously washing with dangerous enthusiasm. With the morning routine complete the day's real work could begin.

It was on to cleaning the Hotel, top to bottom. An expression the manic maid took quite literally. Starting at the top floors she worked her way through each individual room and the hallways connecting them. While given the size of the building this was most definitely a time consuming task, it actually wasn't as big a part of her day as you may think. Thanks to her immense speed, seemingly boundless energy, and the fact that the new building was, well new, this job never took more than a few hours.

When her feet touched the lobby again she unsheathed her knife with an unsettling giggle. Where a small woman like her kept such a large steak knife no one wanted to know. But in any case it was time for an activity that, for her, was more passion than work. Not wasting a second she came upon her first destination within moments.

These days Nifty was half hunter half trapper thanks to some creatively crafted snares supplied by a certain maintenance man. They weren't fancy but they almost always worked to perfection, saving one occasion where a misplaced trap led to an unfortunate altercation with Angel Dust's toes. But this was not one of those hilariously luckless moments, as Nifty gazed at the dead insect in the jaws of the trap.

Gathering it up she quickly moved to the others scattered throughout the upper floors and basement, taking a few more prizes with her knife along the way. Rounding back to the lobby she slung a sack over her shoulder and looked upon the day's haul. It was good but not as good as she would've liked. But then again it never was.

"Aah Nifty! Why do you always bring that sack of dead roaches around here?! Your lucky this place doesn't have any guests, cause that's just disgusting!"

Complained Husk from behind the bar. Nifty paid the bar cat no heed, continuing to sift through her take before a soft sound caught her attention. Her single eye bobbed up as she heard it, a small sound, faint and shifty. She could just make out an oh-so quiet-

-scuttling.

Nifty's red eye snapped around, her body whirling in all directions to take in the entire room. After only a second she found him. The biggest, meanest, crabbiest bug in the whole hotel! Black as a shadow like many of the others in the building, this little big menace looked a lot like a crustacean and possessed speed to rival Nifty's. That, along with mean streak a mile wide.

"Got you!"

*THUNK!*

Exclaimed the small woman as she embedded the tip of her knife into the wood beside the stairs. Had she been only a split second faster she would have skewered the crab like insect, but it saw her coming in the nick of time.

"Get back here you!"

*THUNK!* *THUNK!* *THUNK!*

Swiping from side to side the bug dodged three more strikes before taking off down the hallway.

"Hm, Hm, Hm, Hm, you know you can't escape!"

Maniacally giggled the maid as she sped after it.

*THUNK!* *THUNK-THUNK!* *THUNK!*

Right to left, to and fro, even up the walls. All the while evading the business end of the blade clutched in the psycho sprite's hand. The chase continued down the hallway passed the staff rooms. Occasionally the bug would run up the walls aiming for a vent, but Nifty would leap and block it's path with another strike. While she was nearly as fast as a famous blue hedgehog, Nifty had never quite gotten the hang of wall running, unlike her prey.

Moments later the insect took a sharp left, darting into an open door. It was then Nifty noticed she had left the door to the kitchen open. A mistake her quarry took full advantage of, and one she intended to correct right now. Plunging in after it Nifty spied the pest across the room right in front of a metal cabinet.

"Got you now!"

*CLANG!*

Nifty's body bounced off the shining steel surface of the cabinet door. She had done her polishing too well. Picking herself up from the tiles she looked past the metallic door, complete with a fresh dent, and saw her prey standing nearby, somehow laughing at her. Apparently bugs can do that in hell. With murder in her eye she began the chase anew, tailing the little pest around the kitchen islands for a few seconds before her prey climbed up the wall and onto the counter.

Shimmying up after it the pursuit continued with skips and hops across the tabletops. How Nifty would have loved to drown the little bugger in the sink, or roast it on the stove, but alas it was still just out of reach! Zipping around pots, jars, and a knife block or two Nifty slowly started to gain ground on her quarry. The little thing may have been small and fast, but so was she, and she knew this kitchen like the back of her hand.

Focusing her manic attention to a pinpoint as she closed in.

Just one … more … second.

*CLANG!*

Unfortunately the demented maid's laser focus was played against her, as she was checked again with her head colliding with a pan. With it's hunter momentarily stunned the bug took it's chance and made a quick escape from this kitchen of death. Coming to moments later, Nifty rapidly shook her head to clear the stars from her vision.

"Oh-ho-ho. Your not getting away that easy."

Two streaks sped through the halls of the hotel, rushing past rooms and sprinting up staircases. This chase continued floor after floor, the bug determined to make it's escape, and Nifty dead set on adding it to her collection. Up and up and up the chase continued, across floor after floor after floor. Eventually the two ran out of building as they reached the roof access.

The bug, desperate for escape, crashed through the vent as Nifty practically did the same with the door.

"He he he he he he he he! Finally got you!"

The bug shuffled left to right, all the while backing away from the maid and her blade. A soft wind blew across the roof as Nifty made her way towards her prey, savoring every moment before she finally skewered the object of her frustration. Step by step she closed in on the carcinised insect until, inexorably, they reached the edge.

With a mix of violent and disturbing emotions running through her she raised her knife to strike. However before she could plunge the blade into it's carapace the small creature threw itself from the ledge. Moving to the edge and casting her gaze downwards she expected to be greeted with the satisfying sight of it splatting on the pavement.

Instead of that gratification however she was only met with disappointment as the insect unfolded previously unseen wings and flew off to places unknown.

"NO-HO-HO-OOO! NO FAIR!"

Nifty shouted as she threw her knife end over end in one last futile attempt to kill it. All her emotions drained away as the regret of her failure sank in. She sat there on the edge of the roof and stewed in her dejection for a good long while. Eventually she picked herself up and slowly started making her way back to the lobby. After this she was in no hurry to get on with her day.

Padding her way back to the lobby she arrives just in time to see Husk about to throw her sack of bugs in the trash.

"HUSK!"

"What?! It's a sack of filthy bugs! You fill one of these every day, so what if I throw one out?"

Nifty responds by speeding up and snatching the bag out of his hand and walking out the front doors. On exiting the building she starts to walk around the side to the back. She was still a little glum from not catching her trophy bug earlier, and she was definitely miffed at the old bar cat for almost throwing out the day's take. But she had something for him. After what he nearly did, it was the perfect day to use it.

As she continued around the side of the building she came across the planting beds used by the others. Charlie let all the staff at the Hotel have their own little planting bed outside the building. Charlie's plot, to no ones surprise, was packed with the most vibrant and colorful strains of flowers in hell. She didn't have much time to tend it, so weeds could be seen popping up here and there, but she did see to the plants whenever she remembered.

Vagatha's plot was next to hers, being occupied mostly with a variety of vegetables and fruits to try and supplement her diet. However there were one or two flowers that Charlie had given her from her seed stocks.

Husk and Angel Dust's plots went completely unused by the men, who allowed them to be taken by whoever wanted them. An offer immediately snapped up by the hotel's manager and handyman. Speaking of which, Tafford's plot was occupied entirely by vegetable plants spaced as efficiently as possible. This was designed to wring the most use out of every inch of space. If one didn't know better they might've assumed he was a farmer in his past life.

Finally Nifty came to her plot located behind the building. When she revealed what kind of plants she intended to lay in her garden the others kindly asked that she locate her plot far away from theirs. A request she obliged. A selection of vicious and savage looking carnivorous plants arrayed themselves before the woman, some of them as large as herself. If plants could salivate they would be licking their chops in anticipation of what came next.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late. I'm just kinda down today."

She began as she threw her first handful of bugs to the ferocious foliage. The various floral maws snapping and jockeying for their share of the bounty.

"Scuttler slipped through my fingers again! I tried my hardest, I chased him all around the hotel! I chased him all through the kitchen then up, and up, and up, and up to the roof! Then I had him, I had him right where I wanted him! He was cornered, but that little bug CHEATED, CHEATED, CHEATED!"

Cried Nifty throwing fistfuls to the plants with every screech.

"HE WAS RIGHT THERE, I had him. I had him right under my knife, but then, he had WINGS! THAT'S CHEATING!"

Bellowed the small woman her words able to be heard from blocks away, her demon form presenting itself, if only for a second. Even her predatory plants momentarily paused their feast. She seethed like this for a few minutes before composing herself and throwing her plants another handful. With her anger expended disappointment set in, taking her from a barley contained ball of speed and sharp to a little bundle of sulk.

"Ohh. Why'd he have to get away?"

She wasn't exactly sad, though that was part of the cocktail of thoughts and emotions. Yes she was down about missing her chance to get the bug she had hunted for weeks, but it was far from the first time she was met with disappointment. It was hell after all. How many times had she felt this? Too many to remember, but no matter how many times she felt this she never entirely got used to it.

She just sat there, watching her 'friends' tear into their meal and occasionally each other. She wondered on what to do now. Did she even want to do anything with the rest of today? As she emptied the rest of the bag and threw it to her plants a thought tugged at Nifty's mind. There was something she wanted to do today, or was it somewhere she wanted to go? What was it... what was it?

OH! She remembered! Tonight was that night! How could she forget one of her most favorite days of the year!

"Oh my gosh! I almost forgot! Thanks for listening everyone but I gotta run! Hope you enjoy your meal."

Cried the sprite as she sped away leaving the freakish flytraps to crunch the last of their shells and feelers. Taking a side entrance she made her way to her room as quick as she could. Before she could however she was noticed by Vaggie who stopped her in the hall.

"Nifty!"

"Yes miss Vaggie?"

"Did you knock over all these paintings?"

"Well yeah, but I was chasing this bug-"

"Agh! Nifty! I don't care about some bug you were chasing, you knocked over a ton of paintings while you were running around. Go set them back up now!"

"But I have plans today! I have a thing uptown and it starts in like an hour!"

"Then you'd better get a move on. I know how fast you are, you can get it done in plenty of time."

Nifty groaned in frustration before taking off at top speed. To save time she decided to start at the top floor and work her way downwards. The ascent back up the building took time, but not as much as if she had decided to take the elevator. It wasn't long before she reached the end of her trail. Impatience and excitement overwhelmed any lingering melancholy and soon she was working her way down the building.

Pictures straightened, scuffs were buffed out, and it wasn't long before the hallways returned to an orderly state. Finishing in the lobby Nifty took a momentary breather as she surveyed her handiwork. Spotless as always, thanks to her. In fact the only thing out of place she could detect was loud snoring coming from the check in desk. *Sigh* Of course Husk was asleep.

Slowly a grin spread itself over the maid's face. Reaching into her pocket she pulled out a small paper packet and tore open the top. She had been waiting for an opportunity to pull this prank, and now her patience had been rewarded. Shaking a little of the leafy green substance in front of Husk's face she dropped the packet on the counter and backed off to watch the fun.

*Sniff* *Sniff-Sniff* *Sniff*

The drunken cat began to stir, nose twitching as his face started to scrunch. His eyes opened, bloodshot as always. Lurching forward he buried his nose in the loose leaves and his pupils began to dilate as he rubbed his head in the substance. He started to make little hums of pleasure, which progressed to sounds almost like moans before,

~Puuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~

Now this was a rarity, a true rarity. While all sinners took on a different form upon coming to hell, how much that affected their mannerisms varied. A few very much enjoyed their new forms and embraced the changes and urges that came with them, bestial or otherwise. Others rejected their twisted new appearance, and resorted to extensive cosmetics or even plastic surgery to regain some semblance of their former aspect, while not letting it affect them at all. But most simply accepted their new forms, along with the occasional behavioral "ticks" that came with them.

Husk was a man that, while not going to any particular trouble to change his appearance, never let his more cat like inclinations get to him. It took very specific circumstances for Husk to let his inner cat out of it's bag. Circumstances such as a catnip ambush.

Nifty stood back and giggled to herself as she watched Husk roll around on his counter, not asleep but not awake. Seeing a man sized cat roll around on a bar had to be the funniest thing she had seen all week. This chucklesome situation continued for a few minutes until Nifty glanced at a nearby wall clock. Damn, if she wanted to make her engagement she had to get ready now.

Sparing one more look she darted off to her room emerging a few minutes later changed out of her uniform and into a hooded purple shawl that was just her size. A purse that likewise matched her was draped over one shoulder. She quickly made her way to the lobby and out the front doors, taking in the amusing sight of Vagatha yelling at Husk in his intoxicated state.

"What do you think your doing?!"

"Ah, I can see sound, and hear colors!"

Giggling to herself she left the hotel behind as she began her journey. Moving quickly through the streets no one payed her any mind as she made her way deeper into the district. While not leaving uptown, the winding streets and back alley shortcuts eventually brought her to a moderately sized tea house.

The brasserie was made in the style of a corner store, one that had apparently seen better days. Green shingles served as the siding, near all of which were dirty, cracked, and faded with time. The roof wasn't much better, comprised of similar slats in a shade of dingy brown. The windows that weren't painted shut were covered by shutters in an attempt to keep out the debris and detritus from all the street fights and gang wars.

Turning the knob it was apparent that the building's shabby appearance didn't deter the establishment's regulars. A selection of patrons occupied the tables filling the room with quiet conversation and the gentle clinking of cups and saucers. The counter was tended by a seemingly gentle woman, with plain features and an unremarkable cream colored dress. Her eyeless sockets gave her away as one of the cannibals.

"Hm, oh! Nifty darling your right on time! They're all gathered downstairs, it should start soon."

"Thanks Ms. Thomas."

Greeted Nifty as she made her way across the room to the staircase. Recall that eating and sleeping were just about the only things Nifty took her time with, just about being the operative words. Out of the entire jumbled mess of activities that made up her life she always made time for this event. You see Nifty was a part of a very exclusive, club for lack of a better term.

Even in hell there were no shortage of social organizations, some devoted to the more infernal pursuits, others quite mundane. This however was a gathering that straddled the line of morality. For this, you see, was a collection of snapped stepford wives, horrific homemakers, and general bullying busybodies. This sewing circle of psychopaths, this coterie of crazies, this league of lunatics, met once every few months to discuss their interests and showcase their talents for their like minded peers.

The entire basement of the tea house was given over to this purpose, with a circular stage platform set up on one of the far walls, tables and chairs filling the hardwood floor, and one of the back areas set aside to allow the demonstrators to prepare their acts. The room resounded with the din of conversation as demons of all kinds caught up with one another and shared their latest exploits.

As Nifty reached the bottom and began to look for a seat she passed all manner of her fellow damned and infernal souls. There was another eyeless woman from cannibal colony dressed in a fine Victorian style dress, complete with floral accented hat sitting on her table nearby. There was a mantis like demon snacking on what appeared to be insect parts, though knowing what passed for snacks in perdition it easily could have been something else. Then there was a blue cat like demon with three eyes dressed in more modern attire. She must be new, Nifty hadn't seen her here before.

"Nifty, there you are! I was worried you wouldn't make it! Come over here!"

Called a woman from one of the nearby tables. A snake like woman with an elongated body, Nifty took a seat across from her pink scaled companion.

"Nifty dear how are you? It's been too long! I was starting to worry when you missed the last gathering. What have you been up too?"

"Well you know about Alastor, I've told you about him. He's having me work at princess Charlie's new hotel! You probably heard about it on the news."

"THAT hotel? You mean the one that was attacked by Valentino and his goons and rebuilt in a day? THAT hotel?"

"Yep! Alastor called me in to work as the housekeeper. I've met lots of new people there! There's the princess who is super nice, there's Husk this grumpy cat who works the bar, there's Tafford this sergeant serious type who makes me bug traps, the porn star Angel Dust and her girlfriend Vaggie, and the new girl. I think her names Hightail but I'm not too sure. Her name's some kind of pun about running I remember that."

"Oh, it's good your meeting new people, but I want to talk about what was on the news. There was a huge battle with an overlord and his army of goons, and I think he even hired a private army at some point! Were you involved in that battle? What happened?"

"Oh that. Well Valentino wanted to take Angel back for something, I don't really know what, and Vaggie and the princess wouldn't let him go so there was this super big battle on the front lawn! There was guns, and bullets, and fire, and explosions, and Alastor duking it out with Valentino!"

She said getting exited as she remembered the details of that day.

"Well the end of it is we won. So how have you been? The last time I saw you you had a brand new boyfriend. Has he said those three special words yet?"

After a second to process what Nifty had said her companion picked up with,

"No, I've been working on him a few weeks now but he still hasn't learned to appreciate all I do for him. Hmm, but don't worry he will. After all, he has the rest of eternity for that~"

"Hopefully he won't turn out like the last one."

"*Sigh* Right. I despise starting anew but sometimes these things can't be helped. But I've got a good feeling about Benji. I think he might just be the one~. Well, for now at least."

"Hehehehehehe! You do have a way of wearing them out don't you?"

"You know it. So, now that Alastor has you working for the dear princess, you think her dream stands any chance of actually working?"

"Nope! I'm just glad to have steady work again after that bitch fired me. Is that Qwerty over there? Oh I gotta go say hi! It was nice catching up Linney, see you again after the show!"

With a wave Nifty departed for another table occupied by a TV headed demoness. Unlike the most famous example of TV headed demons, this one posses the head of an older model flat screen and a lime green dress that wouldn't look out of place on a librarian.

"Qwerty how are you! I haven't seen you in ages, how have you been?"

"Nifty! I was starting to think Alastor had finally eaten you, it's been so long! But in any case you came at a good time. I finally pulled the ends together on my scheme to hang Grazaelda! No one suspects a thing, and now she's out and I'm in! I already got a bigger apartment and if you see me here next month I should have that face lift I've been eyeing these passed few years!"

"That's so great for you! I know how much you wanted Grazaelda's job ever since you started working in her office, and now it's yours! Just be careful someone doesn't back stab you the same way."

"Not even a concern. I've already taken steps to ensure there's no chance of someone getting me like that, and I never trusted any of those harpies at the office. I never take my eye off any of them."

"Speaking of harpies do you know if shrike's here?"

"I'm not sure. I know I saw her at the last gathering but- oh! The show is starting!"

Said the TV headed woman as the lights flickered and then dimmed. All turned their attention to the stage as a well dressed projector headed demoness took the stage.

"Good afternoon everyone! We're so pleased you are all able to attend this gathering! Our fellow members have prepared an exceptional display of talent for us this evening. Some of our acts have been planning and rehearsing since our last convocation, personally I'm anxious to see them in action! So without further delay, Mysteria if you would."

The spotlight shifted focus stage right as a large wooden wheel materialized in the space in a cloud of mist, complete with a large male demon bound thereon. His form was that of a white fox demon of average height with a burly build. His arms and legs were chained to the platform but his eyes and mouth were left free, allowing him to see and speak on his surroundings.

"Wh-What? Where am I now?! Sheila you miserable cunt! Is this because I went on 'fucked your sister?' I swear when I get out of this you'll-"

"This fine specimen was kindly donated by one of our more disgruntled members. Our first event of this evening will be a little, target practice. Who would like to take the first swing at our lovely guest here?"

"OH, OH, OH-OH! ME, ME, ME-ME, ME!"

Said our heroine with an enthusiasm that mirrored a certain rosy cheeked blonde.

"Ah Nifty! I thought you would be first. No one can match your exuberance."

"Hehehehehehe! I love punishing bad boys~."

She sniggered picking up a set of five throwing knives. Taking a mark on the opposite end of the stage Niffty sized up the distance and prepared to throw.

"HEY! Hey you can't use me as part of your twisted game! Don't even think abou-"

*THUNKTHUNKTHUNKTHUNKTHUNK!*

All five of the bladed projectiles flew from Nifty's hands so fast that if you blinked you would miss it. Alas, while her speed was without equal, her accuracy left much to be desired.

"Aw, too bad Nifty. Better luck next time."

Consoled the hostess. The small woman pouted and huffed as she returned to her seat, allowing another to take her place. This next woman looked as if a potato had somehow been crossed with an ape. She was short & squat with long arms, scraggly red fur, and wore a dress that could've been a mu mu.

"Are you fucking serious?! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I don't even know what that is! It's like a hairball grew arms and dressed itself in whatever it found in the trash!"

Annoyance crossed the woman's features. She took more care with her aim, getting a feel for the blade before,

*THUNK!*

"Ha! If this is your best maybe I've been worried for nothing!"

*THUNK!*

Another miss, but nearer this time.

"That's what you get for sending a greasy hairy blob to try and put my lights out!"

The woman grumbled in annoyed frustration before taking her next throw.

*THUNK!*

"Almost felt the breeze on that one! Keep trying, I could use a fan!"

*THUNK!*

"Will not be the first time you struck out with a guy!"

With a groan of anger the stout ape swung her whole body into it and,

*SHICK!*

"OW! BITCH!"

Shouted the sinner as the knife buried it's head into his sternum.

"Hmph!"

Huffed the contender in satisfaction while sauntering back to her table. The next contestant rises from her seat without waiting to be picked, though when everyone saw who it was murmurs of excitement permeated the crowd.

Swaggering onto the stage came a tall, sleek, dark grey wolf demon in a stylish red and black leather riding ensemble. Taking the offered blades in her hands, she began to juggle one between her knuckles with a practiced ease.

"He-Hey. Now who's this? What's a smoke show biker chick doing with all these broken down old fossils?"

Huffed the fox, still smarting from his new injury.

"You really don't know where you are do you? Don't worry, I can help you get the point."

*THWACK!*

Force and precision came together in a union that split the bound man's pants right in the crotch, and grazed his sack for the trouble.

"Shit."

Stated the man realizing his goose was cooked.

*THWACK!*

The man was forced to shrink down as his hair was parted by sharpened steel, and forcing his split undercarriage painfully into the first blade.

"Aww, what's the matter tough guy? No snide remark about my form, or my figure?

The man was not eager to worsen his situation, and so his mouth clamped shut.

"No? Alright then."

*THWACK!*

The man gritted his teeth as one hand was pinned to the board. He tried his best not to cry out, but a few grunts of pain still escaped his muzzle.

*THWACK!*

Wasting no time, the wolf put the next knife into his left ear, severing it close to the base. Cheers and jeers rang out from the crowd, delighting in the man's suffering.

Knowing what came next he huffed a few final breaths, looked her straight in the eye, and said simply,

"Do it."

"Hmm, okay."

*SHICK!*

True to her word, her final blade granted his wish, but not in the way he wanted. Instead of finishing up with a strike to the forehead, the final knife found itself lodged in the man's throat leaving him to choke to death on his own blood. A fate that, for him, was as horrible as it was slow. He might've tried to gasp out a few final words, but these were consumed by both the blood filling his lungs and the steel that destroyed his voice box.

Applause filled the entire basement, cheering the death of the man and the woman who had brought it. Taking only a second to soak it in the wolf demoness swaggered back to her seat as the setup was poofed away. The sound died down as the hostess retook the stage.

"Remarkable display of strength and accuracy, thank you Scaff. And you too Agnes and Nifty. Now, Mysteria."

On that cue the spotlights grew a touch dimmer and a fog machine started up giving the display an air of mystery. A number of tables materialized on stage, each of them filled with covered platters. All shapes and sized were encompassed in this display, no two of the platters were alike. One was made of wood and had green leaves growing from the top of the lid. Another was shining silver, but the gleam from the spotlight seemed to cast no light. Yet another was glass and appeared to be filled with smoke.

"One more little game won't hurt anything will it? For this just come up and pick a tray. Who wants to go first? But be warned, not all of these surprises are pleasant."

One woman quickly shoots up eager to claim the first of whatever was on the trays. She jogs up on stage and swiftly located a green glass tray she thought looked good. Lifting the lid,

"Oh? Oh-OH!"

In seconds she is completely petrified, turned to stone with the lid still locked in her grasp.

"Hmm, hmm, hmm hmm. She chose poorly. Who's next?"

At first no move came from the crowd, but after a minute or two another brave soul gets up and makes her way to the stage, more slowly than her predecessor. Cautiously she looks over the trays, avoiding the table her stony compatriot chose from. Finally she comes to a smaller enameled blue tray. Lifting the lid,

"Oh! Lucky day!"

she discovers a large stack of money sitting underneath.

"Ah ha! She chose wisely! Next?"

The next few women eagerly move to select their trays, ending in a variety of fortunes. The next woman's clothing is replaced by a stylish ensemble, another disappears in a cloud of smoke, yet another turns a bright shade of green. Humorously another is transformed into a blow up doll version of herself, while another's appearance magically regresses until she appears ten years younger.

Finally, when the last woman selects her platter,

*POP!*

a loud pop is heard as confetti rains down over the entire room, showering the gathering in colors and sparkles.

"Alright, I think that's enough. Mysteria if you please."

In a swirl of bluish mist the entire setup once again vanishes, along with the member turned statue.

"For our next performance Anastasia has graciously offer to show off her talent with animals for us. Let's all put our hands together for her and her little hound Boris."

The mist appeared once again, and when it cleared a straight backed cannibal woman in a sequined red leotard stood center stage. At her feet sat a beaten down looking dog thing, slightly trembling at it's mistress's feet. The both of them surrounded by three bright crimson circular platforms with hoops between them.

Wasting no time she raised the crop she held in her hand and gestured to the dog.

"Hup Hup!"

She commanded as the hound straightened itself.

"Hup Up!"

Ordered the woman pointing to the first platform. Obediently the dog jumped upon the dais.

"Hup-Hup! Up! Up! Up! Up! Up! Up!"

Pointing to the various platforms as she shouted the dog jumped from one platform to the next. After a few rounds of this she called it back down to the ground.

"As you can see, Boris here is quite spry. I could have him jump all over these platforms for days, but I think we can do better than that, can't we?"

With a twirl and a flourish Anastasia ignited the end of her crop against the ground and lit each of the rings in a single practiced motion. The hound looked up at her with pleading eyes, which she instantly countered with an intense predatory smile. With a whimper and a whine the poor creature readied itself to meet it's fate.

"Hup Hup! And, Hup Up! Up! Up! Up! Up! Up! Up!"

Once again the tyrannical trainer guided the hound through the now flaming rings, leaping around the platforms faster and faster. For all of it's fear let it never be said the hound didn't give a noble effort. It managed six full circuits around the platforms before, unfortunately, it couldn't leap quite high enough to clear one of the hoops.

*YIPE!* *YIPE!* *WHINE* *YIPE!*

With yells and whines it fell to the ground, it's coat ablaze as it writhed on the ground in agony.

"Worthless, stupid, idiotic creature! Embarrass me in front of everyone! You'll never do anything like that again!"

The bedazzled woman said as she ran over and began to beat the wretched creature the rest of the way to death with the still flaming crop. The audience however was spared having to witness much of the hound's suffering, as once again the mist closed in quickly and cleared the stage.

"Thank you Anastasia, that was quite the spectacle. And with that, fellow members, we have unfortunately arrived at the final event of the evening. But don't feel disappointed, as tonight we are all truly privileged. One of our eldest and wisest members has agreed to display her considerable abilities for us all to marvel. I am proud to present, Lady Malka of the ars goetia."

The mist that signified the beginning and end of the various acts did not return. In it's stead the lights of the place changed in brightness and hue, the spotlights dimming to nonexistence as gentle purple illumination came to permeate the room. The change in atmosphere didn't stop there either, with points of cosmic light and swirls of stellar tides appeared over the heads of the gathered women. Streaks of stardust and flares of celestial fire ignited wonder in every soul who bore witness, as before their very eyes, a galaxy took shape in the basement of the tea house.

*Tick, *Tick, *Tick, *Tick, *Tick*.

The audience was so enraptured by the beautiful display conjured overhead that the room fell completely silent. So silent the nearly noiseless footfalls of the svelte yet powerful form lady Malka could be heard as she made her way to the center of the room.

"Good evening everyone. I hope everyone has been enjoying the entertainment thus far. It is undeniable our members are quite talented and do their best to keep us all invested. However I think it's fair to say that we haven't witnessed something truly exceptional in, well, in a long while. So I, in my generosity, will use my prodigious power and vast experience to bring us all an event that is truly extraordinary. For this evening I will use these stellar bodies and constellations to discern the future of every member present here."

The gathering responded with a cacophony of 'ohhs' and 'ahhs', and even those who didn't believe in "fortune telling" could appreciate the spectacular of celestial bodies unfolding in front of them. Those reading these words will more than likely be aware of another goetian demon whose job it was to discern the future from the stars. But the nobility and royalty of the inferno always liked to hedge their bets, especially amongst their own. And given the seriousness with which that more famous goetia held his job, they were absolutely right to do so.

The falcon form of this lady of the goetia went up to the closest member and took her hand, turning her gaze skyward to the stars above. Purple eyes glowed as the mysteries of time and space revealed themselves to her.

"Hmm, yes. You have been working hard, and have shown passion for your goal. Thanks to your efforts the stars have aligned, and you shall receive it."

"Eeeeeeeeeeee!"

Cheered the seal demon, clapping like the animal she was modeled after. Next the elegant purple robes approached the serpentine demon our hyperactive maid spoke to upon joining the gathering. Grasping the offered palm her eyes once again shone with purple light.

"Take heart young lover, he is closer to breaking than you think."

"I knew it, I knew it, I fucking knew it! No one's lasted as long as him before, I knew he was just playing hard to get! Mhmm soon he'll be mine forever!"

Leaving the crazed constrictor to her delusions, the lady next approached a demoness that had a camera for a head, ignoring the eye roll as she took her hand.

"Enjoy the next three days."

Said Lady Malka after only a minute's delay. The camera headed demon stared with a blank expression for a second before regaining her composure and appearing unfazed. Moving on she came to a younger looking demoness with pale skin that wouldn't look amiss crawling out of a well.

"I do not know why you would want this outcome, but you cannot achieve it through your current path. If you do not change your course you are doomed to fail time and again."

This series continues for some time with each member of the gathering seeing the lady Malka and receiving their fortune. Eventually after an hour or so she arrives at the woman who brought us here.

"He he he he-he he he he! Tell me if there's a bad boy in my future! Or if I'll ever catch scuttler! OH, OH, or if that BITCH ever gets what's coming to her?"

Merely taking her small hand in her palm lady Malka turned her gaze upwards while inviting the cosmos to speak to her with the small woman's fortune.

A second into her reverie her features took on a more interested expression. After thirty seconds her eyes narrow with concern, and after a minute they went wide. But never lost their purple shine. After a full minute more she finally returned and stared at Nifty with a gaze that conveyed confusion and shock.

"Now this, this is a very special destiny. While specifics details were clouded from my vision, I can tell you the time is coming soon where everything you know will change. We stand on the edge of a great shifting, and you little one, you will bear it witness with your own eye. On this, I will say no more."

"Aww, but what about the bad boys?! Are you sure you didn't see anything else?"

"Quite."

Came the simple reply. The proud goetian would never admit it, but that last fortune took more out of her than she cared to admit. She felt drained in a way she hadn't been in a long time.

"How exhilarating! Thank you so very much lady Malka for all of your wondrous fortunes! With that, fellow members, I am sorry to say the entertainment portion of this evening is over. But don't reach for your bags just yet! After all, the night is still young. Hit it!"

With that the celestial bodies faded and the lighting returned to normal. Just as it did a jazz quartet was transported to the stage and began to play, setting the tone for the rest of the evening. As the assembled women begin to stand and mill about, the good lady makes a point to get the attention of the psychotic sprite that drew an unexpected amount of her attention.

"Excuse me, Nifty is it?"

"Yes lady fortune?"

Replied Nifty already forgetting her name.

"Before you go on with your night you must know the significance of your future. The destiny I read in those stars is unlike anything I have witnessed in centuries of divining the cosmos. You should feel blessed, as no matter how these events come to pass, you shall bear witness to events that may very well shape the universe we all live in!"

"Great story fortune lady. Could've used more men though."

While Malka was annoyed at the sinner's lack of heed for her warning, she knew she couldn't really force the sinner to heed her words. Not without an amount of effort that she couldn't justify at any rate. So with a sigh of exasperation she turned to get herself a drink, or three.

Paying the goetia no mind, Nifty turned her back and got on with her evening. As she laughed and socialized the goetia's warning slipped further and further from her mind. A decision she may come to regret. That is, if she even remembered this moment.