Happy New Year, everyone! It's a bit belated, since we're already in February, but since this is the first update since last year, it felt right to say it all the same. Hope your 2025 is off to a great start! And if you had any New Year's resolutions (besides reading more Inuyasha fanfiction of course), I hope you've been able to keep to them. Thank you as always for your wonderful reviews: I wanted to do justice to the last chapter, since it was obviously such a significant one, and it means so much to know that you guys felt like it didn't disappoint.

A small note: I added a brief paragraph to the last chapter sometime after I updated it, nothing that changes the plot, but it's just a throwback to the memory when Kagome first saw Inuyasha in his hanyo form towards the end of Chapter 1, the vision of him standing at the moutt of the cave. I thought it would be fitting to have it there when she realized the truth :)

Without further ado, here's Chapter 11! Enjoy.


It had been a busy week for the villagers, as all of their efforts were going into rebuilding their lives.

The yokai attack had been the most savage they'd experienced by far. Many of the houses had been at least partially destroyed, and on top of that, their crops had been defiled by the slain demons' rotting flesh.

Still, the villagers did not complain, for the worst had not come to pass: not a single villager's life had been lost. They were all still alive, and no material damage could eclipse their relief over that. It was all due to their valiant miko, they said. The priestess who had protected them so fiercely, and against all odds, even after her mentor had fallen. The praise they lavished upon her knew no bounds, but the priestess herself barely heard any of it.

For Kagome had not left the shrine in all the time since the attack.

She remained in her quarters, unseen by anyone. Only twice, she had left her room to go and check on Kaede as she recovered in hers. The villagers were happy to take on the rest of the old priestess's care. They arrived bearing fresh herbs, food and and bandages. There was no real pressing need for them: Kagome's timely actions had ensured that Kaede was out of danger. But they came anyway. More than a few times, they timidly set down some food by Kagome's door as well. But most of it would go uneaten.

In her room, Kagome did little aside from sleep. But that was only what people thought. For she didn't do much sleeping, either. Most of the time, she lay awake. Plagued by her thoughts, and ravaged by the prospect of what she should do next.

She was on her futon, laying on her side, staring listlessly about her room. Her eyes fell on the beni, and she couldn't stop the tears from starting in them again.

To think that the first time she'd avoided wearing it before a fight, would be the time when she finally learned the truth. And ironically, she had only refused to wear it because she didn't want Inuyasha to think she had been thinking of someone else, when she wouldn't have been anyway! What a fool she was! No wonder he'd taken such an interest in it. Even the first time they'd seen each other, he'd mentioned the beni.

But that wasn't the first time, she had to remind herself yet again. The first time was-

She shut her eyes and let the tears roll out from under them. How could she not have realized sooner? All those things he'd said, about humans and demons, good and bad, feeling weak and lowly... all along, it was because he himself wasn't human, not all the time. No wonder he'd had so much wisdom about it all. Even the fact that there had been blood caked on his forearms and hands, but none under his fingernails, because those hadn't been the ones he'd fought with. That unusually long hair. The burnished, tan skin, the fine red robe he'd been wearing. Hadn't he even been barefoot? She didn't remember if she'd noted that or not. She couldn't be sure anymore of what she remembered, and what gaps her mind was filling in for her. He'd even talked like him, she thought. She still couldn't fully wrap her mind around the fact that that it had been him all along. That night in the cave, it was Inuyasha she'd met. None other than Inuyasha.

It all made so much sense if she just looked for the signs. Why he'd always been so interested in the man she met. How he'd known that she feared storms. Why those gestures and touches were so familiar. How he'd mistakenly said she'd always said his eyes were beautiful.

She'd been naive not to put everything together. But him? He'd known all along, and yet he'd deceived her so easily. What could he possibly hope to gain?

His words the other night came back to her, and she rolled over, facing away from the beni. She couldn't be confronted by them. Not just yet. Not when she was still grappling with the fact that he'd lied to her. He could have told her the truth about who he was, and he chose not to.

"You do, Kagome."

Her eyes snapped open just as her heart skipped a bit. Those words... a memory? Why else would they come back to her now? And then all of it returned: that last night she'd had with Tsuya, when he'd come to the shrine. "I don't even know your real name," she'd said. She'd fallen asleep before she could properly hear his answer. Or so she'd thought. It was only now that she remembered what he'd said. Could Inuyasha have been telling the truth, then? All along, had he been hoping she would figure it out on her own?

Then why not just tell me? she wanted to cry out. The last words she'd told Inuyasha still rang true. He didn't tell her because he was afraid of how she'd react. Of what she might do. Did he think that she, being a miko, would have hurt him? He didn't trust her. Maybe that would have made sense in the very beginning. But even after all they'd been through together. Even after they... they...

She lifted her hand to her lips, and had to stifle a sob. Why couldn't she stop thinking about the kiss?

It was Inuyasha she'd done all of those things with, wasn't it. She'd even done some of them in this very room. Not too long ago, thinking of them made her blush to no end. But after he'd kissed her that night, it was all she could think of. It was all she'd wanted to do again. And now, it was a memory that tormented her ceaselessly, because she didn't know if it was what she should want anymore.

Was she ever going to be able to reconcile that Inuyasha and Tsuya were the same person?

Her heart gave a spasm again. All she knew was that she couldn't bring herself to face him again just yet.

The first three days, Inuyasha had come to the village. He stood outside the shrine until one of the villagers went inside, timidly informed Kagome that he was there, only to come back outside to tell him that the priestess had turned him away. Every time this happened, Inuyasha had walked away, after saying that he would come back.

The last time had been a week ago. Ten days had now passed since the last moonless night. Inuyasha probably wouldn't come back until he saw her emerge from the shrine herself now. And she still wasn't even sure she would anytime soon.

From her window, she could see that the sun was going down. The villagers were still rebuilding their homes. Taking in a long, shuddering sigh, Kagome sat up heavily, her head hanging. Gingerly, she padded off the futon, got to her feet, swaying slightly as she straightened up, and made her way to Kaede's room.


Rikichi and a few other villagers were sitting by her futon when Kagome walked in. Seeing her, they leapt to their feet.

"Kagome-sama", Rikichi murmured, bowing his head at her as he led the other villagers out of the room. He was observant enough to know that she was not one for idle words today.

They all left one by one, leaving Kagome and Kaede alone.

Silently, Kagome knelt by Kaede's side, her hands on her knees. She surveyed her old mentor. Aside from the cloth that was wrapped securely around her left eye and secured at the back of her head, she did look much better than the night of the attack. The color in her face had stabilized. And it seemed like she, at any rate, had been eating, which was more than Kagome could say for herself.

She was watching Kagome calmly, as though waiting for her to break the silence.

Kagome cleared her throat of the cobwebs.

"Will it be all right?" she asked.

Kaede smiled. "We cannot say," she answered. They both knew what Kagome was referring to.

"If I'd been quicker, I might have been able to save it for sure."

"Kagome, ye did more that night than anyone could have in your place. I would not be breathing had it not been for your presence of mind."

Kagome's eyes remained lowered. This didn't bring her much comfort. But then, what would?

"Should I lose my eye, I will miss it, that is certain," Kaede said. "But it served me well all my life. I am fortunate to have had both my eyes for these sixty-odd years, and I will be fortunate even if I have only one left to me. Plenty of people cannot say the same."

Kagome sat silently. She wished she could see the optimism in anything even half as clearly as Kaede could right now, despite having only one eye to see it with.

"I know ye did not come here only to enquire after my health," Kaede said, her voice gentle. "What do ye need from me, child?"

Kagome looked away. How could she ask it when she didn't even know herself? She didn't even think she'd stopped hurting over the fact that Kaede had known about it for so long.

"I don't expect ye to have forgiven me so quickly, Kagome," Kaede said, as though reading her mind. "So I shan't ask ye to. Ye have every right and reason to be angry with me for my part in your pain."

"Back then," Kagome said, "was that what you'd been trying to tell me? While we were fighting. That Inuyasha was..." her voice faltered.

"Aye," Kaede said. "Though, perhaps it was better that I hadn't the chance. I knew not how to say it. I could see in your face that ye were looking for him, wondering why he had not arrived. I thought I would tell ye that he could not come. But, I am glad I did not. It was not my truth to tell."

Kagome swallowed. It made things no easier, hearing confirmation from Kaede yet again that they had kept her in the dark all this time. Two of the people she'd trusted the most, trusted with the most. And they thought so less of her.

"Kagome, I do not take for granted that ye will believe me when I tell ye this," said Kaede. "But Inuyasha did not lie when he said he had planned to tell you that night. He had said as much as to me a few days before. It was the day I'd returned from the Holy Council."

That must have been the day after they'd kissed, Kagome realized. In that case, he'd told Kaede he was going to tell Kagome the truth after she'd made it known that she wanted him to kiss her again. If she could believe Kaede's story, of course. Not too long ago, she would never have questioned a thing that Kaede told her. Now, things had gotten so confusing and conflicting in her mind, she didn't know what to believe anymore.

"I know why you didn't want me to know," Kagome said at last. "You were afraid it would distract me from my duties."

Kaede shut her one unbandaged eye. "I cannot deny that this was part of my reasoning," she assented. "But most of my fears revolved around what it would do to you. Ye have so many burdens on your young shoulders, my child. To become involved with a demon, for someone in your position... I wished to protect ye from all that would come your way."

Kagome rubbed her eye. "Even so. I can understand why you did it. I just don't know why Inuyasha would keep it from me. I know you said you told him not to tell me. But I can't believe that's the only reason. Inuyasha's not one to do anything just because someone told him to. Deep down, he must have had his reasons, too."

Kaede was looking at her with sympathy. "This is something only Inuyasha can tell ye, my child. I cannot speak for him. I know ye turned him away. But it may soon come time to hear him out."

Kagome sighed. "I never thought I'd see you take his side," she murmured. What a long way they'd come.

Kaede smiled gently again. "I remain on your side until the end of my days, Kagome," she said easily. "That is why I say this now. And," she went on, "as I've said, I shan't answer in Inuyasha's stead. But ye mustn't forget the nature of his existence. Would Inuyasha keep his identity a secret from you if he had no reason to fear it coming out?"

Kagome couldn't answer that just yet. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath again. "Please rest well, baa-chan," she said finally upon opening them again. She allowed her gaze to focus on Kaede's fully. Whatever she was unsure of at the moment, at least she could be certain that she was grateful that Kaede was still here. Though it might take time to look at her the same way again, Kagome knew that she wanted that time to come.

As she rose to her feet, someone else came in with a basket of fresh bandages.

"Oh! Kagome-sama," he said upon seeing her.

"Juro-san," Kagome said in slight surprise. "It's good to see you up and about in spite of your injuries." She noticed that his shoulder was heavily bandaged beneath his kosode, and his side likely was as well, albeit hidden under his clothes.

"I only have you to thank for this, Kagome-sama," said Juro deferentially. "I willed myself to recover more quickly, all so I could be of more use to you. The reason why my Chiaki still has his father, why my wife is not a widow... I owe it all to you, Kagome-sama."

He looked grateful, contrite, awed and beseeching all at once.

"You don't owe me for anything, Juro-san," Kagome said. "It was my duty to do what I did. I'm the one who's grateful for what you and the other villagers did that day to protect us. If you hadn't, maybe you wouldn't have been injured in the first place."

Juro shook his head vehemently. "It was our duty and honor to protect our village. And that night opened my eyes to how much you are truly willing to sacrifice for us, Kagome-sama. I ought never to have doubted you. I'm ashamed for ever suggesting that you could abandon us and your devotion to us."

"Not at all," she said wearily. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate Juro's words. She just didn't feel very worthy of them at the moment. "Excuse me, Juro-san, I need to go and rest. Please stay with Kaede baa-chan for as long as you can."

"Of course," he said, bowing his head as she walked past. "Oh, and Kagome-sama," he called after her. "I'd heard that you'd been refusing to see Inuyasha as well. Nothing could be wiser! The nerve of him to come here after what's come about. I hear that people heard him say that night that he was a hanyo? Is it true, Kagome-sama? All the more reason to banish him from this village. Such foul creatures aren't even trusted by their own kind, how could we possibly expect any loyalty from him!"

Kagome froze in her tracks, a chill running down her spine. Slowly, she turned back towards the room she'd exited, shock and bewilderment in her eyes. She stared at Juro's nonchalant, self-satisfied face, so oblivious to the horror on hers. Behind him, Kaede lay still, meeting Kagome's gaze steadily. Her grim, understanding smile told Kagome that she knew her last question had been answered.


Many Moons Ago

They were all small-fry yokai, so they wouldn't be a hassle for him. It was only when they banded together that they'd make a serious threat, especially when they were as numerous as they were. But they usually only did that when targeting humans. Their senses weren't acute enough to spot his true nature, or at least they wouldn't catch on fast enough. He'd be out of the forest by the time they recognized him for what he was. He certainly would be out by the time he transformed. And it would be worth it in order to get to the village on the other side. Any simple-minded demons who would dare to try and mess with him in the meantime would be easily dispatched of. He got the sense that they'd been tormenting the nearby villagers for quite a while.

So he'd ventured in, jumping from tree to tree as he cleared the forest. He gotten at least halfway through before his nose and ears picked up on something aside from the creatures that surrounded him.

The scent of humans.

He paused, crouching on a tree branch, and turned to see a horse-drawn carriage approaching, with riders on other horses leading the way. The people didn't appear to be common villagers. They wore robes and ornaments that suggested that they were here on a task. The size of the party and the belongings they carried indicated that they had come from a long way off.

What's their deal? he thought. He shouldn't be this interested. He was just curious as to why any humans would come to this forest when it was clear it posed a danger to their kind. They weren't close enough that he could make out all of their details, but they were of various ages, mostly men, but women, too.

He watched as they dismounted, exchanging words. One of them strode over to the carriage, opening one door, and then the next. As the doors opened, a most pleasant scent met his nose. One that was unlike any he'd ever smelled before, warm, lightening and sweet.

Still perched on the tree, he watched as the person helped someone out of the carriage. It was a young dark-haired woman, from what he could see. Her white hakui and red nagabakama told him that this was a priestess.

That cleared things up: this was a group of holy leaders of some kind, who had come to purify the forest. Perhaps the villagers had enlisted their services, or news of the forest had spread far enough that they'd decided to come and help.

Well, no sense in my stickin' around then, he thought as he watched the group of people conversing. This was all the more reason for him to clear the forest fast. Strangely, they all seemed to have gathered around the young woman, as though she was the one they wanted to talk to. In any case, it was none of his business.

Still, he lingered. The smell really was nice. It was most likely coming from her, he realized. It was also the one that came through most strongly out of the others. He'd have stayed and breathed it in longer if he wasn't on a short timeframe.

Then suddenly, the people began mounting their horses. One of them, after some final parting words to the girl, climbed back into the carriage.

The hell?

What did they all come for, if all they were going to do was leave? Then, to his shock, he saw that the woman had not budged from her spot. In fact, she was the only one who wasn't making motions to leave. He watched, transfixed, as she stood there, watching as all the rest of her party rode away, leaving her alone.

What are they, nuts? he wondered, perplexed. What are they thinkin', leaving one girl to fight off all these things alone? He was aware that priestesses were powerful, some very much so. But this was a next-level threat, taking on this many demons at once. And, squinting, since she was still a ways off, he could discern that she definitely was young. It seemed wrong to just abandon her. How many such battles had she taken on before...?

He shook his head, trying to rid himself of these concerns. It was none of his business, he reminded himself. The girl seemed to have agreed to whatever was about to happen, and she seemed resolute in that she had not yet run off. If she was so eager to give up her life, what did he care. Still, he sat, unmoving, for a little longer. Why wasn't he carrying on? He wanted to see what she would do next.

As though steadying herself for what lay ahead, the woman appeared to take a deep breath. Then, she turned and faced the forest, looking up directly at the tall trees.

His eyes widened when he fully saw her face.

She looked... scared. So pale. And yet, her expression was unwavering. The fear she harbored in those large brown eyes was plain as day to him. But she stood straight, holding a bow firmly in her hand, a quiver slung around her shoulder. She was slight of figure. Yet she took in measured breaths as though nothing could daunt her.

She was brave. Although afraid, it could not be clearer that she would never let this stop her from doing what she believed in. She was ready to fulfill whatever promises she had made.

Don't do it, he suddenly thought, possessed by an urge to stop her. Don't. I don't know if you'll make it out alive.

Why did that matter to him? He needed to focus on just getting himself out. Any other night and he might have. But though he couldn't explain it, he knew he didn't want to see this woman die. Whether she would or not was uncertain. But just by seeing her now, he knew she didn't deserve it. And just like that, he knew something else. If she did decide that she was going to complete whatever task she'd come here to do, he was going to stay behind. He couldn't explain that, either. He just knew that his conscience would not allow him to turn his back on her.

There was a chance that she would sense him, or even spot him.

But tonight was a new moon. The darkness could protect him from her sight. His youki could be disguised among all of theirs. If there was ever a night where he could fight close enough by her, and remain undetected, it was tonight. He just needed to know whether that was what he'd do, and soon. Otherwise he wouldn't be able to make it out before turning human.

Sure enough, the priestess strode straight into the forest.

And sure enough, his plan to escape it before he transformed was abandoned.

Hours later, as he lay in a cave he'd barely managed to crawl into, gasping as he clutched the gash in his side and wondering how much he was going to regret this, he realized that he would have regretted it even more had he not.

Even as he desperately willed her to leave after slaying the rest of the demons on her own after he transformed, he couldn't help but hope that she would be unhurt. He didn't know if there would be any way for him to confirm it, not in this condition. By the time his transformation triggered his regeneration, she would probably be long gone, whether she was killed or whether she left of her own accord after defeating them.

These thoughts ran through his mind as he fought against the pain through the hours, his panic heightening once he began to hear the rustling approaching the cave he'd made his sanctuary, a lilting, silvery voice penetrating the dismalness of his predicament.

"Whoever you are, if you're peaceful, you needn't fear me."


Dawn would break soon.

The night-dark sky was tinged with magenta and teal streaks, signifying that the sun's ascent was to come.

For the first time since the moonless night, Kagome ventured out of the shrine.

She stepped down the stairs and made her way to the outskirts of the village. There, she stopped once she was faced with the Sacred Tree.

So many memories she had with Inuyasha here. Not to mention the village, her family home, the Bone-Eater's Well, even her own room at the shrine. Everything reminded her of Inuyasha now. This had been the longest she'd gone without seeing or even hearing from him. And she felt as though it was slowly killing her.

Stepping forward, she touched the bark of the tree. This was where Inuyasha had asked her to shoot him, and where she had refused. She'd shot at his sleeves instead, pinning him there. Come to think of it, he could have broken free, but he waited for her to come and set him loose. She thought back to that day. She couldn't bring herself to shoot him, even just as practice, because she knew it would be wrong. Even back then, Kagome had known she was never going to hurt Inuyasha. Why should she? Leaving aside the fact that he'd saved her life, what had he ever done wrong?

He lied.

The sting ripped through her heart anew, and she shook her head, trying to rid herself of the pain. Where was this coming from, she wondered? Was it really just about the dishonesty? She thought back to Juro's vile words in the shrine. She was beginning to see what Kaede might have meant now. Remembering the gashes in the sleeves and trousers of Inuyasha's-yes, it was Inuyasha-robe, she could feel her indignation and affront rise up at Juro's ingratitude. Perhaps someone like Inuyasha did have plenty to fear in revealing his true identity after all. She could see that now. So then why did it still hurt so badly?

It's because he didn't trust me enough to at least tell only me, she thought, and she knew this was true. But there was more. More that she hadn't fully been able to process since that night. More behind the pain she was feeling now, the pain she'd been feeling since she'd walked away from Inuyasha that night.

Her palm still on the tree, she shut her eyes so that she could finally process it now.

Inuyasha's golden eyes filled her sight. His laugh. His scent of cinnamon and pine. His warmth, the warmth that made her feel so safe. His arms. His strength. His smile. His lips.

Bringing her other hand to her mouth, Kagome felt the overwhelming force of emotions finally hit her.

It had always been Inuyasha. Inuyasha was the one with whom she'd shared every single one of those moments. Every moment she'd spent with Tsuya, it had really been with Inuyasha. It was Inuyasha who had held her so tenderly at night. Inuyasha who had kissed her so passionately. Inuyasha, who caressed her, comforted her, whispered those words that had stayed with her forever. All of those things that had made her so happy, all those things that made her fret over what she should do about her feelings, they were done by Inuyasha! Tears began filling Kagome's eyes behind her lids, and leaked out from beneath them.

From within all the hurt, Kagome could finally sense what struggled to poke through. It was joy.

Joy, not because she'd learned that Inuyasha was Tsuya. But because Tsuya was Inuyasha.

Kagome did not wish that he was anyone else. And not only that: she was glad that he wasn't. It was clear to her now.

She didn't have to worry about what she would do about Tsuya. She didn't have to choose. Because they were the same person. It did not hurt her that Tsuya didn't exist. Because Inuyasha did. Tsuya just happened to be part of him. Just another form of someone who had become so much more precious to her over the months. That man, the man he truly was... there could be no doubting how he felt for her now. Inuyasha had met her once, during a rainy night. And although it had taken him far too long, he had found her again, all because of that one night, just because he'd promised he would. And they'd made new memories together. And none of that was wrong. None of it meant that she was fickle, or disloyal, or easily swayed. She'd grown close to Inuyasha, she was drawn to him, because he was none other than the man she'd been drawn to in the first place. It was him the whole time. The things she wanted about Tsuya were Inuyasha's, they always within Inuyasha, and even though she didn't know it, her heart did. It was only for this reason that it found its way to him again: as though it was always meant to, because it was him, regardless of which form he took.

The tears were flowing freely down Kagome's cheeks now and as she opened her eyes, gazed up at the Sacred Tree's branches, and pictured Inuyasha lying there, his easygoing, relaxed pose with his arms behind his head, a grin on his face as he looked down at her. Her heart skipped a beat at the memory, as she fully realized what this meant.

I love Inuyasha, Kagome realized, wiping her cheek of its tears. Since when... did I love him so much?

It didn't matter. All that mattered was that she understood it now. She wished that it didn't have to take all this for her to finally know for sure. But she would have realized it in the end anyway. She was bound to, she had to. So did it matter how it happened?

Inuyasha, I want to see you again.

She let out a half-laugh, half-sob as her heart sped wildly, soaring as these feelings flooded her body. No wonder she couldn't get her mind off the kiss, despite knowing how much more they'd done before that. It was because in her mind, that kiss was the first they'd ever shared. It was because she'd known for sure, from the moment it happened, who it was from, and that it was from him. From Inuyasha.

He was a hanyo. A half demon. That meant that half of him was human. Half of him, Kagome thought in wonder, was just like her. They weren't even all that different, after all-!

But with each wave of joy, Kagome felt an undertow of despair.

None of this erased her pain. She still couldn't shed her hurt over all that had happened. What would she say to Inuyasha now? How would she face him the next time he came back? She didn't trust herself to stop being angry just yet. The prospect of seeing him, after knowing everything they'd shared, and learning that he'd kept quiet about it all this time, still mortified her.

I want to know why it took him so long to find me, she thought bitterly. I still want to know so much more about him. But how could she be sure she could trust him? Could they really go back to the way they were? If he'd lied about this, what else was he lying to her about? What else could he lie about in the future?

Sighing, long and deep, Kagome placed both hands on the bark of the Sacred Tree and wept silently.


It was early evening when Kagome ventured out of the shrine and walked through the village.

The villagers who were still out and working on repairs stopped what they were doing to greet her, murmuring their gratitude and bowing their heads as she passed. But aside from politely bowing her head return, Kagome did nothing to acknowledge them. She passed on in silence.

She walked on until she reached the house she sought. The sun was beginning to set when she walked through the door. There didn't seem to be anyone home. Everything sat still, in all same spots as it was when she was last here. It was hard to fathom that Inuyasha had been here back then. She was relieved to see that the house hadn't been too damaged. It was far enough out of the way of battle to have come away with just some thatch and wood splintering off the roof. It was still livable.

"Kagome?"

Kagome turned to see her mother coming in, a basket of dried laundry in her hands.

"Mama," Kagome said, a lump coming to her throat. Her eyes and nose began burning. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to come."

Calmly, her mother set her basket down, walked over to her daughter and took her in her arms. Kagome's lips trembled. She fought hard not to break down like a little girl, but something told her it was futile.

"Mom," was all she could say before the tears came, and she buried her face in her mother's shoulder. Her mother stroked her hair calmly, standing there in silence as she cried it out.

The sound of approaching footsteps made Kagome pull away to see Sota in the room, surprise on his face.

"Sota," Kagome said, rubbing her face with her sleeve. She strode over and hugged him. "I'm sorry I pushed you that day," she whispered. "When you were trying to help. I didn't know what else to do."

"I'd already forgotten about that," Sota said sheepishly. "Don't cry, nee-chan."

Their mother strode over and put her arms around them both. Kagome shut her eyes. Really, they were all so lucky. Whatever happened that night, at least the worst had not come to pass.

"If anything happened to you guys, I... I..."

"Hush, Kagome," Higurashi-san said soothingly. "We didn't doubt for a moment that you would protect us. And none of this is your fault, dear. You've always been far too harsh on yourself."

Kagome wanted to say more, but felt exhausted. All she wanted to do was curl up and sleep for days, peacefully, but she knew that it was going to keep evading her, when her heart was this heavy.

"Are you hungry?" her mother asked softly. "Sota's already eaten, so it would just be the two of us."

Kagome had no strength to protest, nor did she see any reason to. She doubted she would be able to eat much anyway, since she hadn't consumed a proper meal in days, but maybe she could start to try now.

Several minutes later, she and her mother were knelt around the table, while Kagome picked at pickled vegetables and millet. Sota had gone back to his room. Her mother, sitting next to her, had managed to make her scarf down more than a few morsels.

"There's a lot on your mind, isn't there?" she asked gently.

Kagome blew her nose into a piece of cloth.

"I'm just so scared, Mama," she said at last. "I don't know if anything can go back to the way it was. I want to believe it could, but how do I know it will?"

She felt silly. She was being so vague, she couldn't expect her mother to understand. But if her mother was confused by any of this, she didn't say so. She simply sat in silence, one arm around Kagome's shoulder, the other feeding her from her bowl.

"Do you visit the Sacred Tree often, Kagome?" she asked presently.

"Huh? The Tree?" Kagome said, caught off-guard. She had just touched it this morning. It wasn't as though her mother knew that, so she was surprised by her asking this.

"Yes. It's such a special tree. Did you know that your father and I used to picnic near it? Quite often. He even asked me to marry him during one of those times. It was such a romantic, lovely moment that I'll never forget. It was a beautiful day. The Tree looked so magnificent. I already knew how much I loved him, but everything from that day confirmed my feelings."

Kagome couldn't help but smile. She vaguely recalled hearing about the picnics, but not the proposal. Considering she knew how this story ultimately ended, it was nice to know about the beginning.

"But I said no."

Kagome blinked. "Huh?" She looked up at her mother, confused. "What do you mean, you said no? Why?" she blurted out.

Her mother laughed. "At the time I said it was because we were too young. But the truth is, I was afraid. Your grandparents didn't approve of your father. They thought he wasn't ambitious enough, and that I'd be marrying beneath me. It made me doubt whether the two of us should be together."

Kagome stared at her mother, wide-eyed. "But then, what did Papa..."

"Oh, he was crushed, of course. I didn't tell him the real reason for my fears, but I know he knew it. But then a few days later, I wanted another chance. My heart was so empty without him. I went back to the Sacred Tree, and realized I couldn't let my fears hold me back from what my heart wanted. I chose to trust that your father was the man for me, and that no matter what our fears were, that we could make each other happy."

Kagome's heart gave a little thump, and her cheeks reddened a bit as she listened to her mother's story. She gave a small smile, and rested her head on her shoulder.

"The next time he asked me, I said yes," her mother went on. "In time, my parents were as pleased with the union as his were. And then we had you, and Sota. I've never regretted my choice." She stroked Kagome's hair again. "I won't ask what's troubling you so. But I have faith in you, Kagome. I know that you'll be able to choose the path that's right for you, too."

With a small sigh, Kagome shut her eyes, letting her mother's words wash over her. She still didn't know what she would say or do when Inuyasha came back. And there were still so many other things she had to think about that she could barely even consider over the last ten days. But at least she felt a little less fear over what would come next.

Presently she heard some rustling sounds, and opened her eyes to see that Sota had walked in again. She rubbed her eyes to try and appear more cheerful.

"How have you been doing?" she asked "Happy that school's been out for so long? You get to sleep in, don't you?"

Sota nodded silently. "Yeah," he said, coming towards the table and kneeling down himself. Kagome realized he'd seemed quite morose the whole time she was here. Come to think of it, even his eyes looked a bit red-rimmed. She had initially suspected that it was from the shock of the attack, but now she wasn't so sure.

"Is everything all right, Sota? You're not upset about the house being damaged, are you?" Kagome asked, looking around from him to their mother.

"No, not at all," Higurashi-san said breezily. "The villagers have been wonderful. The men have been steadily fixing our roof, and our home will be as good as new in no time."

"Is that right, Sota?" Kagome asked, encouragingly. "You're really okay?"

"Mhm." Sota still wouldn't meet her eyes. He appeared to be chewing on his lip a little, as though trying to weigh whether he should speak again. "Nee-chan, can't you and Inuyasha nii-chan just make up?" he blurted out suddenly. "Did he really do something that bad? Why won't you forgive him?"

Kagome blinked. Of course, she ought to have already suspected this. Sota had grown so fond of Inuyasha. It shouldn't come as any surprise that he'd be so downcast by his absence in the village lately.

She gave a shuddering sigh. "It's not easy to explain, Sota. I'm sorry."

"I know I didn't see or hear anything that happened, but didn't he come and save you again?" Sota protested. "And Kaede-sama, too. Otherwise we'd have lost you. Even if he upset you somehow, isn't that still reason enough to be his friend again?"

Kagome looked up at her mother helplessly, unsure of what to say. Higurashi-san only gave her an encouraging smile. Kagome sighed again. "It's not that I'm not his friend anymore. It's more complicated than that."

"So, if he said he was sorry, would it be okay then?" he said pleadingly. "You always told me that I should apologize to my friends if I do anything wrong, and if they still want to be my friend, they'd accept it. Couldn't you do that, too

"He has apologized," Kagome said patiently. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry it's taking so long, Sota. I just didn't know what to say to him every time he came to talk. I wasn't ready. Maybe the next time he comes, I'll know by then."

Sota suddenly made a strange, petulant sound. "You mean if he comes. Even if he does, who knows how long it'll take now!"

Kagome looked up, puzzled, staring at him. "What do you mean, "how long it'll take now"?"

"Because he's gone!" Sota suddenly burst out, his eyes, to her surprise, filling up with tears.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" Kagome stammered, bewildered. "He what?"

"He told us," Sota said hotly, "he came to thank us for everything, and said he was leaving. He came to say goodbye. I asked when we'd see him again, and he said he didn't know!"

Kagome leapt to her feet, her head spinning. Sweat began beading on her forehead, and her heart started pulsing wildly in her chest. Inuyasha was here? And she hadn't realized it? It must have been so long ago, there wasn't even a hint of youki.

"When?" she cried.

"This morning. Mostly everyone was still asleep. I asked him why he was going, and all he said was that he couldn't stay here anymore."

This morning... that was hours upon hours ago. The sun had already set by now. How could she not have considered that something like this would happen!

Swooping down on Sota, Kagome seized his shoulders. "Did he say where he was was going?" she asked urgently.

Sota wiped his eyes. "No. We thought you already knew. He made it sound like you were the one who told him to leave."

"No," Kagome whispered, more to herself than to him. "No... I didn't-" But the events of the past several days swarmed her mind. Inuyasha had come three times to the shrine, and three times she'd turned him away. And the last thing she had even said to him was to leave! How could she have expected him to interpret that any other way? Why had she been naive enough to just assume he would stay here until she was ready to receive him? What made her think he would never give up?

"Did he say anything else?" Kagome asked frantically. "Was there anything he told you to tell me?"

"Kagome," her mother said, sounding concerned as she rose from her spot. She leaned over her daughter, taking her shoulders in her hands. "I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. We just never thought Inuyasha would go anywhere without telling you first."

Maybe that's what he'd wanted to tell me before, only I wouldn't listen! Kagome thought, ravaged by worry.

"No," Sota said, looking concerned now himself. "I asked him, and he said you wouldn't want to hear anything from him anymore."

Kagome burst into tears. Releasing Sota's shoulders, she fell to her knees and sobbed into her open palms, loud and unrestrained.

"Kagome!" her mother exclaimed. Both she and Sota put their arms around her to comfort her, but it would be of no avail. Nothing could console her now, not in the wake of this. Just when she had realized what he meant to her... and now, she wouldn't get the chance to mend things with him!

No, a voice in her head suddenly spoke up. I can't let things end this way. However long it took him, Inuyasha never gave up searching for me. So now, I... I won't give him up, either!

She sprang to her feet, possessed with newfound energy and drive. Her body rippled with determination. She looked down at her mother and brother, who were staring up at her in awe.

"I will come back," she promised them. "But I don't know when. All I know is that I'm not coming back without Inuyasha!"

And with that, she hurtled out of the house, and took off running.

Everything within her told her that this was fruitless. She knew how fast Inuyasha could run. Even if all he'd done was walk, by now, he could easily be li away if he'd been traveling since morning. And who knew which direction he'd set off in? How could she find out where he'd even left from? By all accounts, she didn't even know where to start, much less how long it would take to find him.

But as she tore through the village, past the startled villagers who were pausing work to eat their dinners, she knew she wouldn't let up until she did. She ran past the shrine, towards the Sacred Tree, as though hoping that this would at least give her a sign.

Think, Kagome, think, she willed herself desperately.

And then the words from her memory floated into her mind, as they'd been spoken in Inuyasha's own voice: The lake in the middle of the forest, by the small creek.

Immediately, not slowing her pace for even a second, she turned in its direction and raced there with all her might. It was a long shot. But the only place that might have a clue. This was where she'd intended to go all those days ago. She'd been stopped by the demon attack, and never had a chance to know what would have happened had she made it. But nothing was going to stop her now.

Wait for me, Inuyasha, Kagome thought, determined. I'm not ready to let you go yet.


The first chapter without an interaction/new scene between Inuyasha and Kagome :'( Hopefully not the first of many. Fun fact, there was almost going to be none of Inuyasha in here at all, but I realized that that just didn't feel right, and I couldn't bear to finish it without that flashback!

Hope you all enjoyed reading, and I'll see you in the next one :)