Review. Faster updates for this and other stories if this and other stories get more reviews. Would love to see art work of this or any of my other work. Faster reviews for my other less popular stories means that more updates at a faster pace. Or just more stories like this one.
Also any requests in reviews will probably be ignored.
Also just to be clear. I do not do pedophilia, all characters are aged up in this stuff or aged down depending on the character, no loli, no yaoi, no shota, I don't do watersports (Shit/Piss/fart fetish shit)I don't do stuff like vore or entire bodies getting shoved into places (Shrink play) I don't do blood play or torture (Ball/cock crushing etc) or certain old people, (Yes I am a fucking hypocrite) . Also if you ask for something in reviews that normally means I won't do it. So anyone who asks for that will be disappointed. If you have questions/requests/suggestions PM me instead.
Also have an ao3 account under the same name. and same titles.
The splashing of the two girls in the water was musical. The birds reeling overhead were hypnotic. Kya waddled behind her mistress awkwardly. One hand on her lower back. Pregnancy bellies were heavy. And this baby felt absurdly dense. Her other hand holding a large heavy picnic basket stuffed with wine and treats. And a bag balanced on her head, with a rug tucked underneath her arm. She was already very warm and her bright red microkini was clinging to her sweaty skin like a leech on the wrong side of a manatee buffalo.
Ursa disrobed when they reached the two grand beach loungers set up underneath a beautiful red and yellow striped beach umbrella. Ursa had on a gorgeous looking white sling bikini that cupped her breasts and ran up her ass crack. It was gorgeous, form fitting, and insanely revealing.
Kya kneeled beside Ursa and began to unpack. The bags were stuffed to bursting. She flipped out the blanket and began to place treats, a few scrolls, some suntan oil, and even a small portable side table that she set up between the two chairs.
"Kya please sit and relax. You may have my chair." Kya glanced up, and sure enough there was Ursa's name embroidered on the other lounge chair. In solid gold threads no less. Kya awkwardly stood and then got into a comfortable position in the comfortable chair. The view of the ocean was breath taking, and the scent of the sea and the lap of the waves were almost as hypnotic as the green light that took up so much of her time every day.
"Thank you mistress." Kya said as she stroked her stomach absentmindedly. It really did feel nice sitting there. Almost as if they were a married couple expecting their next child. Ursa reached down and opened up a box of chocolate truffles, she popped one into her mouth before offering the box to Kya. Kya took it cautiously. The little tadpole swimming around inside of her either loved sweets or hated sweets, and it was a toss up on which one it was that day.
The two women watched Azula playing with Suki in the surf. Actually playing too. Not just attempting to drown the other girl. But lifting her up and flinging her. Or splashing after her. Or flinging salty water at the laughing young Kyoshian warrior.
"They look so charming don't they?" Ursa said opening up the silence. She pushed her large white straw hat back from her face and smiled as she watched her daughter playing with her friend.
"Adorable. Azula and Suki." Kya said with a soft smile. The musical laughter of children playing danced over the two of them.
"They make a fine duo. I can see great things coming about from them. Perhaps even a group of Kyoshian warriors raised under the Fire Nation sigil. They would be formidable as bodyguards, and even more formidable on the battlefield." Ursa mused to herself. She stroked her chin and glanced at Kya out of the corner of her eye.
"Why do you suppose Ozai sent for her? I knew to expect some sort of visitor here. But I wasn't expecting Suki of all people."
"The-The mind of Fire Lord Ozai is not mine to know. My duty is to obey his orders." Kya said as she looked anywhere but at Ursa. Not sure if this was another test. A trick, some cruel way to get her to lower her guard. No matter how chummy and friendly the two of them got. No matter how close intimately or romantically they became entwined….Kya could never afford to forget their different status. How Kya wasn't a friend, or a partner, or even a servant. She was Ursa's property. Her toy, a pet, a cum dump. Not even the child in her womb was technically hers. According to Ursa that too belonged to the Fire Nation.
"I am not trying to trick you Kya. I am curious. Why would he want to send a peasant all the way up here? Especially one that lives so close to the South Pole. It just doesn't seem like him. He is up to something. But I can't figure out what." Ursa frowned in irritation. Her husband and his games of subterfuge. They would be a lot more rewarding if he wasn't so straight forward and blunt. It was tough to tell what schemes were him pretending to be an idiot and which ones were him just actually being a full on idiot.
"Perhaps he wanted to reinforce the bond between them? Reinforce how she acts around them?" Kya ventured.
"Maybe."
"Or maybe it isn't for you, but for Kyoshi island. To let them know that he can take any of them at any point." Kya tried that. She never liked guessing games. Sure games were fun, but guessing normally distracted her from the reality of the situation right in front of her.
"Yes…Take a child away from her mother, her home, her family…Just to prove a point." Ursa fiddled with the box of chocolates. Her eyes downcast. Kya studied Ursa out of the corner of her eye. The queen's sharp fingernails were clicking together in irritation. Ursa took a deep breath, her nostrils flaring and face turning a deep wine color.
"Kya I'm sorry!"
Out of the many different things that could have been said, she was not expecting that.
"For…for what? Mistress?"
Ursa turned and gripped Kya's calloused hands with wide pleading eyes. Kya felt her heart start to go pitter patter.
"I should have fought harder! I should have checked in on her more! I should have done a thousand better things! I should have stood up and told Azulon no! I should have brought Katara back that very night! I should have gotten the servants to be kinder to our daughter! I am so so so sorry for what happened to Katara! I never meant for any of that to—" Kya leaned forward and pressed her lips to her mistress's. The two sat there quietly. Kya breathing in and out. Soothing her owner with a brush of the knuckles. Kya touched Ursa's face, her neck, her shoulders, stroked her hair.
Finally they broke apart. A small string of salivia connecting their full milf lips. Ursa was blushing and Kya smiled lovingly at the other woman.
"I know. It was not your fault. You did everything you could to keep our daughter safe. Thank you. Thank you so much. You turned a year long punishment into a mere six months. And now….Now I think she is—"
A wild woman like yodel came from behind the two. They glanced over their shoulders in time to spot Katara running full tilt at the ocean. A towel over her head like a waving flag. Zuko ran with her, caught up, scooped her up, and flung her into the waves head over heels. He dove in after her. Azula stared for a moment until yelping and falling into the water. Katara and Zuko popped back up and helped her back to standing. Laughing the entire time.
"Stronger." Kya said with a chuckle. "The entire ordeal hasn't broken her. If anything I think that it ultimately helped her learn a lot about where we stand in this world."
"Yes. Yes my pet. I think it has." Ursa said with a cocky grin. The crunch of bare feet on sand came to the two women. Keoza leaned down and placed a couple of glasses filled with sweetened mango juice between the two women. Ice cubes clinked in the glasses. A full pitched with a large slab of ice bobbing in the center was also on the silver tray.
"Mistress. Will there be anything else?" Keoza asked gently. Ursa grinned and shook her head.
"We have more snacks then we can eat and the best entertainment in the world. Thank you Keoza, that will be all."
"No it won't." Keoza said simply. She pulled a letter out of her robe and presented it to Ursa with a flourish. Ursa looked at it and then groaned in irritation.
"Really?" She whined like a spoiled child. Kya glanced over her lover's shoulder and frowned. It was in the Fire Nation dialect. Which meant that it used a lot of descriptors and adjectives that she didn't understand. On top of that the lines seemed to move up and down instead of diagonally like a self respecting Water Tribe script.
"The Ember Island Players insist on performing for their lost star. And they have the entire show prepared. Along with complimentary souveniors for the children." Keoza was smiling a smug little grin. Her eyes toying with the now fully pouting Ursa. Ursa groaned and rubbed her eyes with the ball of her wrists.
"But I don't wannnaaaaaaaa." Ursa whined like a child and kicked her legs playfully. Almost overdramatically, almost as if she was acting. "They absolutely butchered The Romance of The Final Dragons! And last time we were here it was that sappy retelling of The Dragon Prince! And the time before that it was the Gravity Falls catastrophe!"
"She used to be an actress you see. Until Ozai got his eyes on her." Keoza explained tactlessly to Kya. "So every year the Ember Island Players invite her family to come and see them perform. But they've been going downhill rapidly."
Kya appreciated the context. But was also amazed by the woman's absolute lack of self control. It was almost as if she didn't care about Ursa sitting right there! Keoza then frowned and dug into a bag sitting beside Kya.
"Also the sun's rays are remorseless here. If you don't want a burn—" Kya yelped as Keoza shot a stream of oil directly onto her belly bump and in between her tits. Just like an expert marksman. "You will cover yourself."
"I will have you know I can do that—" Keoza was kneeling and rubbing her strong smart hands quickly across Kya's round pregnant stomach.
"Yes yes, just because you're a pet doesn't mean you're helpless. But you aren't doing anything to stop me. So it's fine." Kya was about to open her mouth to complain some more. But Ursa scooted off of her seat and was running her hands over Kya's wonderfully round stomach. It was like a beach ball. Or a pumpkin. Round, but soft, giant, jumbo, a little wiggly, but tight as a drum. Ursa's long fingernails left little marks in the oil. She moved her hands upwards and shamelessly cupped Kya's breasts through the fabric. Massaging the mommy mammery with a flirtatious wink.
"Well we can at least have a little bit of fun before we need to get ready for that absolutely AWFUL show." Ursa said with a chuckle. She then moved her hands downwards. Her handprint still on the now oil covered bikini top. Kya bit her lip, her pussy lips were instinctively getting damp….Hot…sticky…wet….eager….
"But….Keoza is…"
"I've been in worse situations. I know miss Ursa….very well." Keoza said with a smirk. A long graying sprig of hair falling over her forehead. She chuckled at Kya's blushing response.
"So sit back and relax. We will deal with this lust." Keoza said as she grabbed the oil bottle and poured the entire thing onto Ursa's bare back. The mother of two gasped and shivered before wiggling. Kya's hands went to Keoza's face and left some slippery sweet smelling oil there.
"Well….As long as the kids don't—EH!" She let out a little gasp. Ursa had slipped two fingers into Kya's pussy. The oil acting as lubricant. Slipping the long sharp fingers in and out of her.
"Don't worry. They're too engrossed in their game. But keep quiet." Ursa ordered. Kya bit her lip and nodded. She flopped back. Her tits jiggling against her chin. Her toes curling. She was so pent up and horny. That even this absolutely debaucherous display right out on this private beach. Where anyone could see. Where anyone could walk past….She loved it. She felt her pussy lips starting to tighten around the long nimble fingers. Ursa was no monster, she was no masher. She was a master. She was an artists. And she was artistically using her fingers to feel out every last inch of Kya's increasingly sloppier pussy.
Kya arched her back. Now both breasts were almost against her mouth. Her eyes widened in amazement. Sure they had always been pretty big and perfectly round. But over the past few months from her new diet and exercise regime they were almost comically massive! She really didn't know what to make of them!
And here was her master, her owner, her lover, with two fingers in Kya's pussy, and a thumb in Kya's winking asshole. Rubbing and flicking and playing and massaging. Making her into a mewing slippery mess. Kya's eyes squeezed close. Her mouth popped open. Strands of spit making cobwebs in her lips.
She began to let out a bellow. But Keoza's bare hand was there in a moment. Slapping a hand down and deftly twisting a nipple underneath the sexy slippery sliding bikini top. Kya let out her scream against Keoza's palm instead of against the air. Her body shivered. Her mountain like belly trembled, an entire shiver went across her. And she felt her baby kick! Just a few times!
Kya flopped back. Panting loudly. Her legs kicked, entwined and finally collapsed. Leg's spread. Ursa carefully replaced the bikini bottom. And grinned, giving Kya's pussy a little loving pat.
"There we go. All back to normal. No one the wiser. You look ravishing my dear." Kya let out a little moan. Then sipped at the juice glass placed to her lips. Ursa quickly rubbed the rest of the slippery oil across Kya's legs and against her own skin. Until both women looked like they were a slippery gorgeous mess. A shining beacon of two gorgeous jiggly intoxicating gigamilfs.
Kya took the glass and sipped some more. Her heart rate dropping back down to normal. She smiled lovingly at her stomach and gave it an affectionate pat.
"You know this damn thing might make me look ridiculous….But I have enjoyed our time together."
"You look like you're about to pop." Keoza remarked as she wiped her hands on a towel. She flicked her kimono back up. Her bare breasts looking white and milky in the sunlight. For a woman who lived on the beach her skin was pretty fair. Only her hands and face got the sun. Kya noticed healed scar tissue on Keoza's nipples. Right where a pair of rings would fit nicely.
"My mother would be more then willing to help you bring this one into the world. She helped Mistress Ursa with those two." Kya looked up, she could just see Suki tackling Zuko into the waves. Katara helping both up and then tackling them again. Azula finally having enough and yelling at both girls about tackling a prince. And about how commoners should act.
"Really?"
Ursa shivered in response.
"Ugh don't remind me. She was efficient I'll give her that. But brrrrr. So cold. It felt like I was getting advice from a glacier. You want to know what she told me when we realized Azula was coming out sideways? 'push harder.' That's what she said." Ursa winced at the memory. Kya turned very green at that and sipped more of her juice.
"Mom! Mom! Mom! You and Mistress Ursa can help with this!" Katara came running up with an armful of seaweed. The trio of women glanced in surprise. Kya looked nervously towards her mistress. Ursa shrugged in response. She didn't play with her children that often, that was for special occasions. Or as a reward. More often they were left to entertain themselves. Or for a servant to take care of. Or more often then not it was Katara's job. Although from what Ursa had seen these children probably did need more adult supervision for the games that they played. What with poor Mai's face….
"A game? What are you planning my sweet little snow goose?" Kya asked as she eased her sizable bulk causing her a bit of trouble. But she eventually got up and onto her feet. With a little help from Ursa of course. Keoza had turned on her heel and left to go back inside. Clearly she had a number of other things to work on. Such as preparing dinner for the large gathering and also preparing their evening wear for the show.
Katara smiled as the two women got to her. Azula and Zuko had found driftwood and were crudely putting it up into arch. Suki was gathering shells and discarded feathers and setting up a small pathway.
"Mother! Sit here! And Kya here!" Azula ordered. The two women did so. The kids were obviously having some sort of strange fun. Then both women got an armful of seaweed dumped on their heads and across their shoulders.
"How amusing. Are we done yet?" Ursa deadpanned underneath the pile of rotten smelling beach drift. Kya blew a strand of seaweed off of her face. It flapped a little. She chuckled at how ridiculous Ursa looked. Like some sort of rare sea monster then an actual woman. More mermaid then land queen.
"Now take hands!" Suki said excitedly as she popped feathers onto her laps. The oil caused them to stick. Zuko had run back to the beach house and back. A handful of still dirty flowers held in his palms.
"What even is this?" Ursa stage whispered to Kya. The pet shrugged and squeezed the other woman's hands playfully.
"Who knows? Just go with it!" Kya chuckled feeling red faced, flushed and joyfully silly. Ursa blushed and felt her heart do a double backflip. By the spirits and the glory of the Fire Nation this woman was cute. There was a glow about here, either the reflection off of the sea, the salt brining her hair. Or maybe it was the very glorious pregnancy. Ursa knew women tended to 'glow' when they were expecting. And Kya had more then just a glow. It was a full on supernova at this point.
The children stood at attention around the two women. Eyes closed and chins folded to their chest. Ursa and Kya glanced around in stunned silence. Then Azula clapped her hands dramatically over her head. She hopped onto one foot and then onto the other.
"Wedding!" She shouted at the top of her strange little lungs. The others all jumped onto one foot and copied her.
"Wedding!" They all bellowed. Kya and Ursa glanced at each other in amazement.
"Marriage!" Azula shouted this time and jumped onto her other foot.
"Marriage! The three other children copied her.
"Brides!" Azula finished her strange little dance by pointing dramatically towards both women.
"Brides!" The other children joined in the chant. Katara was grinning red faced at a now fully blushing Kya and an utterly confused Ursa.
"To the sea!" Azula finished. She sprinted between the two women with a whoop. Zuko was soon beside her. Katara and Suki bringing up the rear with shouts and whoops and gleeful bellows. The game changing rapidly, and the randomness of the ceremony completely moved on from.
"What…What was all of that?" Ursa asked in confusion. She grabbed the chunks of seaweed all over her head and plopped them onto the ground in absolute bewilderment.
"Oh who can tell the games of children? Madness that's all they are, madness given legs." Kya said as she snorted and stood up. She brushed off her knees and rump. Sand was absolutely caked to her generous thighs. "But if I had to guess it looks like the two of us are now 'married.' At least in the eyes of the children." Kya chuckled and Ursa flapped her mouth open and closed in confusion and bewilderment.
"Come on. The last part of the game is to take to the sea. We wouldn't want to leave our children waiting now would we? My 'wife'?" Kya said with a playful chuckle. Ursa stared up at Kya and then took her hand, a little shyly in fact. As if even this little pretend ceremony had been more then enough of a binding act.
The two women strolled into the rolling ocean to splash and toss water at the children. And remarkably enough the kids were very respectful and careful of Kya's belly the entire time.
Katara was dunked by Azula. The swirling salt water shooting up her nose. Stinging her eyes. Getting into her mouth. Her feet slid out from under her. For a moment she was weightless. Completely submerged in the water. She paused there. Floating an inch off of the sandy bottom. And a few hands widths from the shimmering ceiling.
Her eyes blinked open. The salt stinging them. She gazed outwards. Trying with all of her might to see what was around her. There was the small patch of legs where everyone was standing. There were shells swirling across the sand. And out there. In the deeper water. Hovering himself. Was the blue arrow spirit.
He looked sad. He looked young. He held up a hand. And waved.
Hello? Katara called out with her mind. Can you hear me?
Yes Katara. He said back. She smiled. Her chest was starting to ache. She looked at the legs and then back at him.
Will you be here when I get back?
No Katara.
Will I see you again?
In a way.
What does that mean? Why don't you just say yes or no? I want to see you again.
I know you do. But want's change. They change so quickly. I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted any of this to happen. But it has. And now….Now we both must live with it.
You talk like you know what's going to happen in the future. Can you see the future? Will I have gray hair? Will I look like Mom? Katara asked her questions rapidly. Her eyes were starting to burn from the sea splashing over them. The spirit seemed to chuckle. And then he smiled. For a moment he looked more like a young man. A seventeen year old boy, then an ageless sprite of the world of magic and spirits and reincarnations.
All these questions swirling around in your head. And I wish I could answer them all. But I will see you in about a decade. It won't be long. In fact I bet that the time will just fly by for you.
Suddenly he was in front of her. The water swirled around her head. Her hair making a halo. He was oddly handsome. He had eyes unlike any she had ever seen before. Sad ancient ones. With peace and war seated in each orb. The Air Nomad tattoos across his body were shining with a deep inner light.
I promise you this. We will be great friends. If nothing else, we shall at least be that.
He leaned forward and placed his forehead against hers. He breathed in. Katara copied him. Then she gagged and shot straight for the surface. She had forgotten she was underwater. She came up coughing and gagging. A strand of seaweed caught in her hair. She felt like she'd swallowed an entire elephant seal.
"Are you alright?" Suki splashed awkwardly to Katara. Swimming was never a major part of Kyoshian island life. Even compared to somewhere like the poles. A Water Tribe member at least had a passing knowledge of how to swim. Even if they didn't do it that often. Kyoshian Islanders normally avoided the shallower water on cultural grounds instead of practical ones. If she was out deeper with less current she would have been more at ease.
"Yep! Just swallowed wrong!" Katara shouted and hacked up half of a crab leg. How that got in there she couldn't tell you. Kya paddled past Katara. Looking more like a member of Walrus Whale clan then usual. In fact she even resembled the great beaked animals that they deified. What with how big her ass, tits and stomach were.
"Be careful down there Katara." Kya said purposefully. "We don't want you to get sucked out to sea."
"Yes Mom." Katara said as she swam beside her mother. Even nuzzling against her side briefly. Kya smiled, to be a seal lion with her cub, nothing to worry about but food and safety, and dedicating days in the water to frolicking.
Ursa helped Kya to a standing position and the two mothers stood chatting thigh deep in the water. About the absolutely vapid asinine things that adults are prone to talking about within eavesdropping range of their children.
Suki and Katara let out matching yelps as the Fire Nation heirs swept them up into bear hugs and tossed them into the water. Suki came back up spluttering. Her swimsuit top starting to slide. She readjusted it just as Zuko launched himself playfully at her again. She swept his legs out and rolled into the surf with him. Half laughing half seriously fighting.
As she pinned him he chuckled in a very boyish way. And Suki was reminded of her blood sister. All the way in the South Pole. She glanced at Katara and Kya. She knew those two were Water Tribe….could they possibly know Sokka?
Then she chided herself for being racist. After all it wasn't like every member of the Water Tribe's knew each other. The South was a massive place. She doubted that Katara or Kya had even heard the name Sokka before.
Katara stumbled past as Azula held onto her collar. The two rolled into the water. Katara came up sputtering with her water logged hair plastered to her face. Azula let out a howl of laughter.
"You look ridiculous!" She crowed in delight. Katara flipped her hair over her shoulder with a scowl.
"Oh you are so going to get it!" With that Katara took a water benders stance. Her hands balled into fists. Azula's eyes widened as reality hit her like a brick through a rice paper fan. The fact that they were standing in Katara's element had been entirely lost on her for a bit. It wasn't as if Katara used her water bending all that often as an actual fighting style.
Katara whipped out her hands with an over the top 'sha sha!' sound. Azula dropped instinctively to her back. The whip of water flew out like a tentacle from heck. The water sprung through the air, half wild, half controlled. Only barely being guided by Katara.
Ursa yelped and bounced upwards. Grabbing her ass in shock. Katara hadn't been aiming for it. But Ursa's massive behind had just naturally been the place to hit. The red mark throbbed like a whip crack on her big bitable rubber like booty. Ursa stumbled and flopped into an oncoming wave. Her tits bounced majestically out of the sling microkini that she was barely wearing. The water and wave spinning over and over her. She tried to get up only to get hit by another wave. Her long black hair was hanging down over her face. Her maginificent breasts bouncing up and down a few times. Her bare pink nipples hard as glass by the shock. Kya let out a snirk of laughter and tried to disguise it as a cough.
"Oh you think that's funny do you?" Ursa responded with a smile. She stood back up, tucking her teats back into their wraps. A grim grin on her face. Kya's eyes widened.
"Ah! Mistress! I'm sorry!" Kya shouted as Ursa began to splash water onto the other mom. The two fell into laughing fits, splashing and washing each other. Another splash of a water bender wave crashed over Ursa and Kya. Katara let out a eager giggle. Ursa spun on her heel and splashed towards the little girl. Roaring playfully the entire time. Katara let out musical giggles as she was chased into the deeper water.
Kya waddled into the deeper water before finally sitting down and swimming gently through the water. She felt a warm presence beside her. She smiled down at the little girl hugging tightly to her. Suki struggling along beside Azula. The two girls swimming gently beside the pregnant milf. Finding warm satisfaction alongside her.
The hours passed peacefully like that.
The four children were rifling through the cupboards. While Keoza was the technical chef of the house, she did not do snacks for the kids. That was a rule she had listed out firmly for them. Snacking was only permitted for adults between meals. Children in her opinion should eat when told to.
Suki popped her lips again. The thick layer of lipstick that Azula had applied felt a little garish. Sure she was used to wearing make up, it came with the territory of being a warrior, all good warriors wore make up.
But Azula really had a bad habit of glopping it on. Plus the Fire Nation make up didn't taste right. It was too bitter and tingly. Good make up was meant to be soothing. Zuko pulled out a bag of potatoes and held them up.
"Do you even know how to cook those?" Azula snarked in irritation. He frowned and stuck his tongue back out. His black hair was combed slick against his scalp. His skin looked red, raw and scrubbed to perfection. He dove back in underneath the cupboard and rooted around for something that the children could snack on until it was time to go to the theater.
"I'm sure they will have popcorn there Azula. And Fire flakes." Zuko shouted over his shoulder. The little princess was wearing a ridiculously sized dress. With puff sleeves and a wide hip hoop. It was a new experimental fashion. And she looked rather ridiculous.
"I don't want popcorn or fire flakes. Besides the snacks there always taste like garbage. I don't even know why we're going. They absolutely BUTCHERED the last few shows we've gone and seen. It's a waste of time." Azula grumbled. Zuko stuck his head back out of the cupboard and shimmied to the next one.
"I said the exact same thing to mother. She said that it was healthy for us to get in some of the local culture. I think she also just misses being up on stage." He opened the cupboard and started rooting through it. Keoza had hid all of the fruit. And if they ate any of the sweets then the adults would know. They always seemed to know.
"Hey while they're busy….I've been meaning to ask." Suki said pointing at her own neck and then gesturing towards Kataras. Katara glanced down at the gold and ruby encrusted collar and smiled shyly.
"It's mostly a sign of status. It shows' who I belong to. That I'm their pet."
"Isn't that sort of super messed up? You're a person. Not an animal." Katara paused and thought for a few seconds. Trying to put it into words.
"It was tough at first. I wasn't born in the Fire Nation. I had to learn my place. But after learning it….I liked it. Why do you want to be a Kyoshi warrior? Isn't is sort of the same thing?" Suki frowned in irritation.
"I am being taught how to defend my home. It's part of my culture. It gives thanks to Kyoshi. And it respects the Avatar and the natural cycle and balance of the world." Suki said sharply. Katara shrugged in response.
"Well there you go. It's sort of like that. I learn my proper place. And I feel satisfaction from my service. Plus no offense….But my masters and teachers are still alive. Kyoshi died over two hundred years ago. How much can she really give to you to learn?" Suki blinked sullenly. She didn't have a good retort to that. It still made her head hurt.
The entire situation made her head hurt. Katara seemed so content following orders. Wearing her strange outfits and constricting collars. Being a working draft animal for the spoiled rich duo. But they didn't seem cruel to her. In fact they almost seemed to defer to her on certain points. Such as physical comfort and proximity.
"Okay found something." Zuko said poking back out of the cupboard. He held up the small paper bag and jostled it a little. He unrolled the bag and sniffed the interior. He wrinkled his brow and sniffed again.
"It's those mushrooms that your Mom keeps on eating." Zuko said. He pulled out one of the small blue mushrooms with the white polka dots. He sniffed it again.
"What does this smell like?" He asked in confusion. He handed one to Azula and one to Katara then a final one to Suki. The three girls sniffed it then wrinkled their noses.
"Sorta like fresh milk?" Suki offered. She had been told not to eat strange mushrooms that she just found out in the wild. But at the same time they said that this was something that Kya ate a lot of the time. It seemed a little….strange. The texture was a bit too soft. The tops were a bit too broad. Even the mushroom trunk seemed a little long and thin.
"No….Almost like baby powder." Azula said in irritation. "I've seen her eat them raw. Only one or two."
Zuko picked one out and hefted the bag a bit.
"There's plenty there. We could each probably have two or three without them noticing."
"Do you really want to have a mushroom as a snack?" Suki pointed out. Zuko responded by popping his into his mouth and chewing. He swallowed and took out another.
"It's not bad. And it feels a bit more filling then you would expect." Suki stuck her tongue out and licked it softly. It felt soft as silk, and a weird sort of fluttery mix. She popped it into her mouth and chewed. She felt a weird tingle in her neck and fingertips. But that was all.
Each of them ate one more. Then pocketed a final one for later. Which stayed in Suki's pocket until she left for home. It then fell out of her pocket, took root, and sprouted. And that is how the mushroom made it to Kyoshi island.
The clacking of sandals came to the children. Zuko shoved the bag back into the cupboard. The four of them stood at attention and attempted to look inconspicuous. Keoza and Kya walked into the room. They had been whispering fiercely to each other. They paused and frowned in unison at the quiet politely standing children.
"Alright what did you two do?" Keoza said sharply staring from one child to another. They all put their hands behind their backs and rocked back and forth on their heels.
"Nothing." They said in sing song unison. Definitely not making their innocence all that convincing. Keoza glanced at Kya and raised an eyebrow.
"I leave those four to you. The best of luck to you at the theater. Make sure they behave themselves. It is a VERY long show." Keoza said with a smirk. Kya rolled her eyes and held her hands out.
"Come along children. It is Keoza's turn in the kitchen." Zuko took one hand. Azula the other. Zuko then took Suki's hand while Katara took Azula's. Like a find chain necklace they all walked to meet Ursa in the courtyard.
"Ugh! That was terrible!" Zuko shouted at the top of his lungs. The seats had been perfect. Right in the royal balcony box. So they could see everything. And they could hear perfectly too. But of course that also meant that they could hear and see everything. Including how bad the acting had been.
"I mean it felt a little….pro Fire Nation?" Suki said as politely as she could. Azula rolled her eyes.
"Of course it was pro Fire Nation. It is Fire Nation art. Isn't all of your art pro Kyoshian? Or pro Earth Kingdom?" Suki frowned. She wasn't wrong. But still the play seemed different. At points the actors actually turned towards the empty audience and would talk about just how great the Fire Lord was. And how the war was noble and the war effort powerful and brave.
There was even a moment when all of the characters had talked about someone named Lu Ten and how he was a brave powerful chivalrous man who deserved to be the Fire King of the world. Their exact words. The Fire King of the World, it was strange.
"I enjoyed myself." Katara said with a happy smile. Azula rolled her eyes and plopped down onto a mountain of pillows that were arranged on the main lounging floor. There were plenty for everyone. And she somehow took an absurd amount of them.
Katara sat on the floor beside Azula, she then took one of Azula's legs and started to instinctively massage her. As was her duty.
Zuko took a seat beside Azula and Suki joined them. The kids instinctively cuddling together with small tired smiles. Kya awkwardly sat down beside them. Her ankles were sore and the baby was kicking again. As if they demanded more attention. Or was telling their own displeasure at the theater.
"Mother could have done it much better." Zuko said with a grin. Ursa walked in with a casual flick of her wrist.
"Oh please it's been years since I did something like that. And besides it is very difficult to do those dance moves. Acting isn't just about movement and pretend children. You have to really inhabit the character. And you need to embrace the—"
"She was almost an actress. And she did actually do some dancing and acting. But she never got far before marrying father. So she is a touch OVERDRAMATIC." Azula plopped backwards, putting a hand to her forehead and smirking at Ursa.
Ursa crossed her arms and frowned playfully down at her daughter.
"Oh be nice you. Besides you had to have gotten it from somewhere." Azula frowned in irritation and then rolled over until she was almost in Katara's lap.
"You can definitely out act any of those well fed fools. They were moving like turtle ducks without their shells. They were hardly emoting. I couldn't tell what was meant to be comedic and what was meant to be dramatic. It was honestly insulting." Azula said. Zuko grinned eagerly and sat up straighter.
"Can you mom? Just do a little scene? It's not too late. And I'm not sleepy." Zuko asked excitedly. Ursa sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. She tapped her foot and then took a dramatic pose.
"Very well! A brief sonnet for the lot of you!" She then dove directly into a dramatic retelling of the fall of the Air Nomad army. Followed by the story of the death of the last dragon at the hand of their uncle. She then described in detail the battle of Omashu that Fire Lord Azulon was involved in as a young man. Her voice dropping. Her posture stiffening. Her legs seemed to move like a mans. Then just as suddenly she was a sorrow filled women, mourning a loss beyond all imagining.
She changed her posture, her movements, her dramatic poses, her very voice changed accents and octaves. The way she held her body to the way she contorted her voice. The four children sat entranced. In absolute amazement. Eyes wide, jaws slack, some smiling, some recoiling, Suki actually clapped her hands and gasped at a couple of moments.
Finally with a flourish and a deep bow she was finished. And a round of applause bounced around the small room.
Katara stood up and clapped all the harder. Absolutely amazed by the woman. By the performer. By her new adopted mother. By her master.
Suki was on the floor, snoring. Her head tossed back. The blankets wrapped crudely around her. The candlelight was flickering across her face. Still Kya continued to read the scroll. The remaining awake children were probably too old for a bedtime story.
But they had asked for one….So she continued to read. She got to the moment where the brave and resourceful water bender was surrounded by the ferocious Fire Nation soldiers. She paused and had to struggled over the next few lines.
"And they were triumphant. Their prize firmly in hand, the loyal fighters trussed her up, placed her on a pole, and brought her through the camp. She was forced to wear a collar and answer for her crimes against the nation. And they all lived happily-They all lived happily ever after." Kya finished and rolled the scroll closed.
Zuko's head was nodding, his chin touching his collarbone. His small eyes starting to flutter closed. Azula was nuzzling against Kya. One hand protectively resting on Kya's belly.
Katara was finishing off some chores for Keoza. She would not be ready for bed for a long while yet.
"That was a good story mom." Azula grumbled through sleep thick lips. Kya blinked in amazement. She hadn't been called that by the young lordling yet. A small gasp came from the doorway. Ursa stood there, one hand on the frame. The other to her throat.
Kya took a steady breath.
"Thank you darling. I am glad you liked it. I can read it whenever you want. And you can call me mom whenever you want. I don't mind." Kya leaned down and gave the top of Azula's head a little kiss. As intimately as any mother could. Ursa pushed the door open all the wide. Behind her stood Katara. Who was holding more blankets and pillows. And stared in at the little trio. Like a family seated next to the fire light.
"Bedroom. Now." Ursa ordered. Kya untangled herself from the two now thoroughly asleep children and awkwardly hefted herself up. She did not make eye contact with Katara as she went into the bed chamber.
Ursa tossed her head back and let out an eager gasp. She was riding Kya's face like a ranch hand on an especially stubborn donkey iguana.
"Yes! Yes! Mmmm! Fuck! Use that tongue! Yes! Darling! Mmmmm! Darling! Oh fuck! You're amazing! You're reaching so deep! Oh fucking fucking fuck! I'm cumming! Are we sure that tongue isn't a cock! I've never had it so deep before! Oh! AH! ERMMMM!"
Ursa slowed her rubbing and then orgasmed all across Kya's face. Kay began to eagerly drink it up. Her throat constricting. Her big tits were starting to leak some milk. And Ursa was sliding off of her ride with a happy red faced grin.
"Now you! Now you! This is our honeymoon after all. I want to make my 'wife' feel good too. By the spirits you make me feel intoxicated. You make me feel…Oh so fucking wet." Ursa's naughty tongue was hanging past her lips. Her eyes were drinking Kya in greedily. Every last inch of Kya was being prodded and probed by Ursa's eyes. Like she was the finest piece of art in the world. And Ursa just couldn't draw herself away. Ursa bit her lip and giggled gleefully.
She kissed Kya right on the lips. Then she kissed between Kya's massive fuck bags. The fun pillows were sloshing with fresh milk that was just begging to be sucked out of her impressive meat jugs.
Ursa then got to Kya's belly. Her hands rubbed across it in delight. As if she was gazing into a crystal ball. But while she couldn't see the future she could very well guess what it was going to be.
"I can't wait to meet you." Ursa whispered in awe at Kya's stomach. She kissed Kya's belly button a few times. Then peppered the entire lovely piece of real estate. Leaving large red and black lipstick marks. Making sure that Kya knew exactly who owned that belly. And the baby that slept inside of her.
"I can't wait for you to come out. To meet your mommy's. We are going to be so wonderful to you. I am sure that you will be fantastic. You are going to make me so happy. I am going to give you a wonderful life. One that mirrors your mother's." Ursa said with a grin. She gave Kya's stomach a playful little nip. And Kya wondered just which mother Ursa meant. The one who lived in the lap of luxury. Or the one who served.
Ursa brought her face down across Kya's furnace like body. Until finally coming to a rest at Kya's pussy entrance. She looked absolutely scrumptious. Ursa bit her lip nervously. She felt like a school girl about to experiment with her first kiss. But these lips were far more inviting then any chapped ones she might have quickly smooched while still in school.
She puckered up and leaned forward. Giving one of Kya's thighs a kiss, and the other a lick. She heard a sloshing sound. Her tongue was toying with Kya's entrance. Flicking the bean and massaging her own nipples. She gazed up and then slowly pushed herself onto her elbows. She peered over the curvature that was Kya's stomach. She licked her lips.
Kya was holding up a bottle of fine Fire Wine. It was uncorked. She shook it again and then she began to pour it over her breasts. The fine red and purple liquid began to bubble and plop and dollop across Kya's full round breasts. A long rived of wine wound through the valley of her breasts. A few droplets tossed themselves through the air. Bouncing off of her nipples. Making her nipple rings turn a dark sexy purple color. Staining the gold of her collar.
Ursa gasped happily and made her way up to Kya's breasts. She began to lick. She slurped. She cooed. She opened her mouth and unashamedly rubbed her mouth and tongue all across Kya's teats. The warm soft smell of wine and lovely mommy meat filled her nose and throat. Her adams apple bobbed and bopped. She bit a few little pieces of browned skin. Just to get a bit more of Kya's taste into her mouth.
Kya let out little hisses of pain. Her one free hand began to massage the back of Ursa's head. Ursa had latched onto a nipple and was suckling happily. Kya let out a wince of surprise. Her milk was leaking out. And Ursa was shamelessly drinking it down. She was joyfully drinking it down. Her legs were kicking like a content little child's. Kya's toes curled and she cooed lovingly.
Like she was encouraging her future baby to drink deep and enjoy the thick creamy liquid that she so generously provided. Ursa popped off and took a deep gasp. Milk and wine was running down her chin. Her eyes were crossed and she was rubbing her still damp thighs together. Her tongue was taking up over 100% of her mouth. The tip was hanging past her chin. She panted and then smooshed her face back against that wonderful perfect lovely boob.
Kya smiled and gave Ursa's head a few loving kisses. Just like she had done with Ursa's daughter. She smiled and sloshed the wine, swirling the bottle right next to the other woman's ear.
"Oh mistress. Drink up. There is plenty there. And it is your favorite." Ursa opened her mouth with an 'ahhhhh'. And Kya placed the lip of the bottle to her mistress's lips. She then turned the bottle up, higher, higher and higher. Until she was pushing it upwards. Holding the wine bottle up with two fingers.
Ursa tried to pull away, but Kya kept the bottle and the head in place. Finally she gave Ursa the chance to get some fresh air. Ursa smiled dully at Kya with crossed sleepy eyes and a knowing expression on her face.
"Little miss Kya…If I didn't know any better…any butter…any better…I would say you're trying to get me drunk!" Ursa slurred before hiccupping. Her heart was beating so fast. And Kya looked so beautiful. Kya chuckled and bopped Ursa's nose playfully.
"Oh don't be absurd. I'm just making sure that my lovely wife is getting all she can drink. And more. Because I love you so much." Kya bit Ursa's nose playfully. Ursa let out a drunken chuckle. She wrapped her arms around Kya's shoulders and nuzzled lovingly against the other woman. She closed her eyes and began to mumble.
"It'll be better when da baby's here. We gonna have lotsa babies. Gonna make you preggo again. I wanna be yer baby dady and get you big and wound and knocked up….I wanna sport you…support you…sport you? Support you and baby….my baby….my….Kya…Love you babe." Ursa petered off and began to snore. Kya stared up into the darkness of the ceiling. She counted the seconds until they became minutes. Then hours. And she only untangled herself when she was positive that Ursa was asleep. And not going to get up and move.
Katara was woken with a hand to her lips and a shushing sound. She opened her eyes and blinked in surprise. She should have had her knives with her. She was supposed to be training to be strong and to keep her friends safe. But how could she do that without her weapons?
Luckily enough it wasn't a threat. It was just her mother. Wearing a big black robe and carrying a beach bag and a towel. Katara quirked an inquisitive eyebrow. The full moon was high up in the sky. She could see the light stream down onto the Fire Nation siblings. Azula and Zuko were curled up around each other on the bed. Suki was snoring like a log splitter. Her arms thrown willy nilly. Clearly dead to the world from all of the excitement and the traveling.
Kya removed her hand and slowly helped Katara up. The two of them, mother and young daughter, moved through the household. Avoiding the creakiest floorboards. Only opening half closed doors. And finally padding out onto the beach. Kya held Katara's hand and started walking faster. Her bare feet sliding in the fine white sand.
"Mom?" Katara yawned and rubbed her eye. Kya kept a firm grip on Katara's hand. Her other hand firmly holding her stomach. Trying not to jostle the little sleeper too much.
"It's fine Katara. Just be quiet." Kya snapped. She was sore. She didn't even have time to wash off the lipstick that dotted her stomach and face an thighs. Luckily enough it was too dark to see her.
She finally stopped when they got close to the private docks. She eased herself down onto her haunches and then onto her butt. Her legs splayed outwards. Katara sat down and carefully leaned herself against her mother's impressive stomach and large bust. She definitely didn't want to accidentally squish her younger sibling. Or her mom. Katara was such an attentive, considerate child. Everyone in the palace said so.
Kya let out a little breath. Now that they were so close to the boats…She felt as if she could actually relax. There was plenty of time to choose one. There were yachts, cutters, large catamarans, small warships, tiny iron sides that were made by military enthusiasts. And a few dozen row boats and sailboats. Glorified fishing vessels that not a single person would notice.
Any of the smaller ones would do. Any of which could get the two escapees as far as the Earth Kingdom. And if they got to the Earth Kingdoms' they could make their way North. And if they got to the North Pole they could meet other Water Benders. They could ask for sanctuary from their tribes men.
Kya could have her child somewhere safe and private among her own people. Then when she was positive that Katara and the baby were safe…Kya could make her way back to the South Pole. She could find Wolf Cove. Track down Sokka and her darling Hakoda. Then they could go and fetch Katara and the infant. Or maybe completely relocate to the Northern Water Tribe.
The two tribes had not heard from each other in almost one hundred and twenty years. It was about time that they started to get cross cultural contact again. And perhaps…perhaps it would be safer there. They could live their life's peacefully there, free of the tyranny of the Fire Nation.
Kya had thought it all out. With a strong current, a midnight breeze, and Katara encouraging the water along, the two…or two and a half of them….could be all the way in open waters by the time that anyone at the beach house woke up. They could be walking along the Earth Kingdom coast by breakfast. And maybe even at the North Pole in a matter of weeks.
"The stars are beautiful tonight." Katara said sighing as she stared upwards at the countless constellations and tiny pin pricks of light so far above them. She didn't get much time to star gaze anymore. Even during the summer months it was wise to go out with some blankets and a thick parka. But the night sky was utterly alive with the stars.
Kya rested her chin on her daughter's head and gazed upwards. Her hands crossed over Katara's stomach.
"You can see The Two Sisters." Kya breathed in amazement. She hadn't ever seen them both at the same time.
She pointed upwards and sketched the outline to her daughter.
"See? There is the Northern sister, pointing towards the north pole. And there is the southern sister, pointing to the south pole. You can only see both at certain latitudes. But you can always see the Southern sister back at the South Pole."
"Gran Gran said they were put there by the spirits. So that Sailors could always find their way home. And that the Founders used them to guide them all the way from one pole to the other." Katara said with a smile. She felt very mature and smug having remembered all of that.
"So smart. So sweet. So proud of you." Kya said kissing Katara's head with a dozen little pecks. Kya took a deep breath. It was now or never.
"The two sister's point towards home. They help us find our way. Do you want to leave Katara? Do you want to go home? Back to our real home?" Katara turned around and looked at her mother in confusion. Kya did not see a light go off, or realization dawn, or comprehension break.
Kya expected a thousand different reactions. A whoop of excitement. A gleeful smile. A terrified nervous look. Apprehension for the journey. Joy at the possibility of escape. Nerves for the danger.
But Katara just looked confused.
"But Mom…We are home."
Those three words broke her. Something inside of Kya snapped. Something she didn't even know she had been holding onto. Something so deep and private and buried that when it broke in two and shattered away it unleashed all of the emotions Kya had kept at bay. With those three words Kya broke. With those three words Kya snapped. With those three words Kya lost hope.
And what little resistance she had built up was gone.
"Yes…Yes baby. We're home. Oh no. Oh we're home." Kya sniffled. Katara let out a nervous gasp and fluttered to her feet. Her hands took Kya's chin and raised her face. Holding it in the moonlight in surprise and a loving fear.
"Mom! Don't cry! It's okay. We'll be back at the palace before you know it. The rest of the vacation will go fast. Don't cry! Please! It's okay. It's okay. IT's okay. Please. Don't cry." Katara leaned forward and began to kiss the tears off of her mother's face. Pressing her lips to the salty droplets. Each one heavier and saltier then a thousand seas. Katara peppered her mom's face with love. Her smaller lips briefly placed on a lipstick mark left by Ursa.
Soon Kya had stopped crying. She sniffed and wiped her face with a small smile. Kya took Katara's head in her hands and gave her daughter a few dozen kisses to the forehead and face and cheeks and neck. Katara's little bell jingled out in the night.
"What's in the bag anyway?" Katara asked as Kya stood back up and wiped her butt off. The sand was still sticking to her feet and legs. But that was fine.
"Nothing that matters now." Kya hefted the bag full of provisions and knives onto her shoulder. She took Katara's hand and smiled sadly down at her completely domesticated daughter.
"Do you want to go back home? Mistress and Master might wake up and wonder where you are." Katara smiled and took Kya's hand and began skipping across the sand beside her slowly lumbering mother.
The two Fire Nation pets paused on the first step to the porch. The flame flared into light. Keoza leaned forward on her rocking chair. She lit her pipe and stared down at the two. She was wearing an open robe. Of blue and red swirls. With a large golden demon face on either arm sleeve.
"And where were you two off to? A midnight walk across the dunes? Towards town and the boats?" She blew some smoke out. One of her impeccably applies eyebrows rose warningly. Kya squeezed Katara's hand comfortingly. The little girl cowered behind her mother.
Keoza confused and scared Katara a little. She had hoped that the other woman would have the tug. But instead all Katara felt was a little burning feeling of incredulity. Like when a bird of prey is circling overhead and has you in it's crosshairs.
"Yes actually. We were stargazing. The Fire Nation capital is too polluted with the light and fires all the time. We can actually see some of the night sky here. And it is lovely." Kya lied easily. Keoza raised another interested eyebrow. So she had a strange shocked look on her face. Then shrugged her shoulders and smiled.
"I can understand. That is one reason why my mother moved me out here to take over the household. She said it would be healthier for me. Fresh salt air or something like that." She took another drag on her pipe to drive the point home. "And I assume my father probably followed her orders. Or encouraged the promotion along."
"Who is your—" Katara cut herself off as Keoza leaned way over and tapped her pipe clean.
"There is a bag of masks for the children. Souvenirs from the theater to thank the Fire Lady and her heirs for attending the show tonight. A blue spirit for Zuko, a face shifter for Lady Ursa, what looks like a phoenix for Lala although I certainly can't tell, a snarling warrior for the Earth Kingdom girl, and matching ones for you and your daughter. Kabuki masks I believe. With blue and red stripes around the eyes. Very lovely. You should distribute them around the dining room table for breakfast." Keoza said sharply.
Katara and Kya began to walk back inside. Kya leading her daughter. Katara was soon asleep on her feet and stumbling forwards. Eyes blinking in exhaustion.
"You're not going to bed?" Kya asked Keoza. The other woman chuckled and gestured out to the waves.
"What and miss all of this? Besides I don't sleep well with guests in my house. I will finish my juice and my pipe and go to sleep on my own time." She waved Kya off. A dismissal as much as anything else.
Kya reached out. Then hesitantly pulled her hand back. She wanted to ask. She wanted to beg, to plead, to bargain and offer. She would do anything, utterly anything. Just as long as Keoza didn't tell about the evening escape attempt. Or the lack thereof. But Keoza was dismissing her. And technichally she was a superior. Which meant that Kya had to obey her.
Kya took a deep breath and bowed respectfully.
"Good night mistress Keoza."
"Good night Kya." Keoza sighed and closed her eyes. The door closed with a soft slide. She took good care of the house. Not a hint of sag to the gutters, no trash in the courtyards, even the door frames were oiled and opened and closed silently. She took pride of the home she had made here. And the privacy it afforded her.
She restuffed her pipe and used her fire bending to light it.
Then she stirred her fingers over her glass of papaya juice, reaching out and spiritually feeling for the little bit of water in the sweet treat. She then used her water bending to make little chunks of ice that floated and bobbed to the surface. She took a puff from her pipe and then a sip from her cup.
She stared out towards the ocean and closed her eyes.
"I know you are out there. Why don't you come back for us?"
Review. Faster updates for this and other stories if this and other stories get more reviews. Would love to see art work of this or any of my other work. Faster reviews for my other less popular stories means that more updates at a faster pace. Or just more stories like this one.
Also any requests in reviews will probably be ignored.
Also just to be clear. I do not do pedophilia, all characters are aged up in this stuff or aged down depending on the character, no loli, no yaoi, no shota, I don't do watersports (Shit/Piss/fart fetish shit)I don't do stuff like vore or entire bodies getting shoved into places (Shrink play) I don't do blood play or torture (Ball/cock crushing etc) or certain old people, (Yes I am a fucking hypocrite) . Also if you ask for something in reviews that normally means I won't do it. So anyone who asks for that will be disappointed. If you have questions/requests/suggestions PM me instead.
Also have an ao3 account under the same name. and same titles.
Editor's Note: Well like that other chapter any one of these could have easily been expanded into a full chapter.
Creeply: Yep.
Editors Note: Just a timing thing? An inspiration thing? A pacing thing?
Creeply: We're already pushing 40 chapters before the time skip.
Editors Note: I also looked up what you described. It's called a complete mental break from reality. Which is bad.
Creeply: Huh. Well just make sure to delete that when we post this chapter. I don't want the readers to know about my mental health.
Editor's Note: Still don't know why you told me all of that since I'm just the guy who makes sure you don't add two upper case letters in a row.
Creeply: Which you are bad at.
Editor's Note: That I am.
