Hello! Hello! Hello! This story has sat on the backburner for forever, and finally felt pushed enough to finally rework some things. I had felt a little lost direction wise but now I think I know where I want this to go!

So mostly, I've complied some things, cleaned up some things and edited to the best of my ability, some things may still be a bit rough around the edges, because, well, its my own writing so i may have missed/glazed over some things in my review before publishing but I tried my best! I also realized what I had written wasn't as terrible as I had made it out to be in my head, I've both written and read worse haha, so really a lot has stayed the same, just a few plot things adjusted and hopefully new chapters to come!

Here's to new beginnings! And dear reader I hope you like and join me along for the ride!


Kagome had never been one known to deal with anxiety.

At least not before.

She was fairly confident and outgoing and had faced down literal demons within her lifetime, she was fairly confident in her prowess to tackle most things…

And yet…and yet, it took staring down her new class at Kaibara, a new high school, in a new place, for that dreaded well of anxiety to weed in her and grow. She clasped her hands together tightly in front of her to hide the tremble, on the outside at least being the very picture of poise and grace as she looked over her new classmates while inside she wished this moment would end.

Kagome was a late transfer into their class.

Transfers weren't totally odd or new to Kaibara High, they had a relatively easy entrance examine and low expenses compared to other high schools.

It wasn't relatively top rated, but, it was one of the biggest and easiest to get to into, so, new transfers at the start of term were common, even the occasional late transfer which had happened with the Sohma's.

Of course, to the students, anybody new would be a topic of interest, and reprieve of boredom from mundanity of the school life. It was something to gossip about and a source of interest for a while.

So not only was this prime fresh meat ripe for entertainment, the added boon was that possessing a small and dainty height, Kagome was quite an alluring sight. Her voice though quiet, was crystal clear and she held her posture with a rigidity only one with such a background could tell was a taught trait.

That being the two Sohma's situated near the back of the class.


For Hatsuharu, the first few of weeks at Kaibara were interesting to say the least.

It was a slight but welcome adjustment going to a public school, compared to that of his primary and middle that had been chosen by the Sohma's.

At the end of the day, it was still a school, a tad freer than the previous but one still filled with droning lesson plans, long drawn out sighs and attention that he had long since gotten use to getting.

One of the many upsides is that he got to see Yuki much more often, and he could more easily challenge Kyo if he wanted to. It was also always nice being in the company of Honda-san and having Momji not only by his side but in the same shared class helped as well.

The downside, much like his private school was the fawning. At least in the private school, he had built up a bit of a reputation so he had a bit of a wider berth given than that of Kaibara.

Most of his classmates had caught the hint that he didn't like to be bothered. He wasn't certain that it had fully gotten through to everyone yet…. but that wasn't his problem to deal with…

They had nearly reached a month of the first term when the news had dropped they'd be getting a new transfer student joining in their class.

The rumor mill was high, from guesses of another Sohma to a gang leader who was kicked out of their last school, to something out of a cliche tv drama.

Hatsuharu knew it was no Sohma so he barely cared, so on the day of arrival he merely blinked in slight surprise. It completely left his mind until the teacher was literally introducing them.

When she stepped into the room, the class quieted like something out of a movie. She stood face forward, head high but didn't seem as if she was actually taking in any of their faces. Not that he could blame her; looking into a sea of faces while you were the paraded around sideshow attraction left much to be desired.

She was tiny, looking as if she'd only be so much taller than Momiji who he knew was shorter than even half the girls of their class. He meant to take her in briefly, but a glance at her face and something about her eyes caught him in a trance.

They were a shade of blue, but somehow they reminded him a bit like Yuki's when they were younger.

And before he could help it, he was as tuned in as the rest of the class.

There was another Sohma whom she reminded him of, one he never thought would cross his mind here at Kaibara of all places.

Her hair was long, extremely so, he would think she were more confident than she let on if he didn't notice how she imperceptibly tilted her hair over her shoulder to block the view of her face from others.

She sat just a seat or two away by the window, the only seat that was made available.

Why he took such notice, his only guess was pure chance of curiosity.

He could tell that his classmates were not even trying to hide their curiosity as they watched their new classmate, Hatsuharu himself, idly tapped his pencil and focused on the board, distracted with other thoughts now.

Their teacher was trying his best to reign everyone's attention back to the lesson plan. It was clear however, he knew it was a lost cause. Simply directing them to the agenda of the day, the reading assignment for the period and giving a warning to at least try not to pounce on their new transfer classmate.

Hatsuharu didn't even bother to pretend to read, simply scribbling in the edge of his notebook, his eyes, outside of his control landed on the petite student who despite no lecture notes being given seemed to be arduously studying.

Curiosity.

Pure and simple curiosity he told himself as the bell rang for lunch and he hurried along.

Thoughts of blue eyes he left behind for the welcomed routine he usually followed.

There was nothing more to it.

Nothing.


Kagome found that anxiety was a new friend.

Panic attacks and dissociating were now things she found happening irritatingly often nowadays.

Doctors were torn between PTSD and Generalized Anxiety, not to mention the depression, it was funny how accurate they were with only half the story told. Because who could she tell? She was lucky, in that she at least had, had her family on the other side of the well, but even with them knowing, they didn't truly know.

It was both isolating and alienating and an overcoming wave of emotions she no longer knew how to deal with. At times she was snappy, at others just generally morose, she didn't know what to do with herself, and yet she had to keep going, she had to keep going, because what other option was there?

And she knew the option….but it hurt too much to consider, and so she kept on living, not because she wanted to die per se, but because she had seen and done so much that she wanted to make use of her life. She wanted so badly to use up her days for joy and happiness, for finding her purpose and just, she wanted….

Still, living said life it was another story.

She found Tokyo her home city and birthplace too overwhelming. Her powers while never out of control were harder to reign in, and it was something both daunting and overwhelming just how many people there were. No demons, just people, and that simple fact kept her up at night, and it made dealing with crowds the worst, she almost didn't know how to regularly interact with people anymore.

The questions, it was always the questions, 'Oh the old Kagome would do this', 'The old Kagome use to love this', 'What happened to the Kagome who did-' and it made her want to scream, she wasn't the same person anymore! She couldn't be!

She -

….

She was and would always be, Kagome Higurashi.

Just a Kagome that was different now…