She was sitting on the bed, one leg folded in with the other splayed out, so relaxed like she was settling in for the night. It all felt so comfortable, the bed, being there with him. She felt the warmth of the room, and it was a chilly night. She heard herself say she wanted to go back to the office, but she didn't like the thought of leaving what felt like a cocoon.
David could read her body language—she didn't really want to go. When he proposed staying there, he wasn't sure if she'd actually go for it, and she didn't at first. But she wasn't angry, and when she didn't get up, he leaned in and kissed her. She still didn't get up, and they lay down on the bed together, still kissing.
This was happening again, the occasional sex that at once felt so familiar but so new, like they were rediscovering each other. They both knew things were different now, and there were moments that David missed how they used to be together, but he had to admit that there was something exciting in seeing where this went now that they had been through so much together.
Afterward they lay there, him holding her, spooning her in the pillowy hotel bed.
"David?"
"Maddie?"
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
He held her closer.
"Don't you think we should make it official? Maddie, I want to be with you."
"I want to be with you too."
"So?"
"David, this is the first time in a long time that we aren't fighting. It feels easier, doesn't it? Please don't think I'm trying to pull away. I just want to take it slow right now. I don't want to screw this up again."
"I don't want to either. We can be pals first. We can go slow. We can do whatever you want."
She turned around to face him and kissed him.
"Thank you."
She closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest. He could go slow, he thought. He could be where she was instead of pushing her again. The sex was so different now, too. Before it had been a cycle of passion and regret for her, with him always feeling like he had failed her. Now he felt as though maybe he was actually making her happy. It almost felt like real love. He definitely didn't want to lose that, so he could wait. They were on that ladder. He shut his eyes too and listened to the unfamiliar hotel sounds mixed with her breathing.
