Between Closeness and Restraint

"Hey Sarah. I have to go now. You know I have an appointment." Debbie went to Sarah, hugged her and left the room.

Sarah sat down on her desk chair and was about to start an assignment for English class when she suddenly heard a strange noise.

"FLAP FLAP FLAP"

She turned around and saw an owl—was it the same one?—flying in front of her window and wildly beating its wings against the glass.

Sarah was frozen, as if the room had held its breath. But then she forced herself to get up and slowly walked to the window. She hesitantly opened it and the owl flew into her room with an almost fluid swing. Still a little in shock, Sarah turned around and suddenly found herself facing a man. The man who had chased her through his labyrinth years ago. Jareth. He stood in her room and looked at her.

"Hello, Sarah."

He didn't say anything else, but his gaze was piercing and left no doubt that he was here to stay.

Sarah couldn't think clearly. Confused, she closed the window, then turned around and sat back down on her chair. Jareth pointed to the chair where Debbie had been sitting a short while ago.

"May I?"

"Oh, er, yes, of course. Sit down," Sarah stammered, her voice shaking, and a thrill ran through her that she couldn't explain.

"I see you remembered my name," Jareth said with a slight smile. It was the same smile that had made Sarah nervous back then.

"Was that you the whole time?" Sarah asked him, looking at the window.

"Do you mean the owl? Yes, that was me." Jareth stood up, and suddenly the owl appeared in the place where he had just been standing. A short while later, he was standing there again. "You haven't forgotten that I can do that, have you?"

"No. You don't forget things like that." Sarah couldn't look him in the face. The memories and everything she had experienced back then came rushing back with a force that almost overwhelmed her. Feelings she had actually wanted to forget wrestled within her.

Jareth looked at her and was still smiling. "I was just waiting for you to remember my name. That was the only way I could take on my real form. Did you miss me?" With these words he came a little closer to Sarah and looked at her challengingly.

"Why should I?" Sarah looked at him with a defiant look, although she could barely suppress the knot in her stomach.

Jareth raised an eyebrow and looked at her amused. "Because you were obviously still thinking about me. How else would you have remembered my name?"

He loved to tease her, to see her get angry or embarrassed.

"I, for one, have missed you very much." He took another step closer. He was almost standing directly in front of her, and Sarah noticed that she was in an awkward position on her chair. She bit her lip and tried to hide her inner conflict.

"I've thought about you often, Sarah." Jareth's voice sounded softer, but also more insistent than she was used to from him. Her heart beat faster as she looked at him. She couldn't quite tell if he was serious or if this was just a game he hadn't given up yet. But his gaze was different than before.

Sarah had the feeling that he was looking at her as if he wanted to eat her up. A wave of nervousness ran through her, but also a feeling that she didn't feel very often.

"Especially our dance in your dream. Should I let you in on a little secret? I wanted to kiss you so much back then." Jareth was now almost so close to her that she couldn't have avoided him even if she had wanted to.

Sarah collected her thoughts, but she had a hard time finding the right moment to speak. "Why didn't you do it?"

Jareth's face reflected genuine surprise. "You were very young, Sarah. And besides, I didn't know how you would have reacted."

His thoughts were racing. Could he have dared to do it back then? She was 16 years old and he was a 300-year-old Fae. The age difference couldn't have been more extreme. But the way Sarah was reacting now, he probably could have risked it. He cursed himself inwardly and felt a jolt of emotion as he realized how much he had held back, back then.

Sarah said nothing. She could only stare at him, her thoughts racing, but she did not speak. Her tongue was paralyzed.

Jareth took a deep breath. "Would you have wanted me to do it?"

Sarah turned away. Her hands played nervously with the edges of her dress. "Back in that situation? Yes, probably. Everything was so blurry and I didn't know what to think or feel."

She avoided his gaze, even though it almost penetrated her. Her nervousness was palpable and in that moment she felt like the girl she once was.

Jareth pulled the chair closer and sat down. Now he was even closer. He gently placed his hand under her chin and turned her head towards him. They looked at each other.

There was warmth in his eyes – a warmth she had never seen in him before. It was not the heat of a game or the lust for power. It was something else. A deeper desire that was not just physical or intrusive, but loving.

Jareth came as close as he could and the tip of his nose brushed her cheek. The touch shot through him like lightning. Sarah flinched briefly, but quickly calmed down.

His face came even closer to hers and suddenly she felt his lips on hers. It was a firework of feelings in her body that she had not expected, and yet it was exactly what she needed. What she had perhaps unconsciously wanted.

His lips were incredibly soft and warm, almost tender. He was careful, careful, as if he was afraid of breaking her. But Sarah did not know how to feel. Her senses were flooded and she wasn't exactly sure what the touch was triggering in her.

Jareth's emotions were going crazy. He could hardly believe that this was actually happening. What he had wished for years ago was suddenly reality. He took his hand and gently placed it on her cheek, gently stroking it and gently pulling her a little closer to him. Her skin glowed under his fingers and he could hardly get enough of her. He had never been so attracted to anyone, so deeply in love with anyone. This realization hit him with full force.

Jareth was surprised that Sarah went along with this kiss. Surprised and overjoyed.

He put his arms around Sarah and pulled her into a tight embrace. She let it happen and her body relaxed a little. She was almost sitting on his lap and in all that time they never broke the kiss.

Back then his plan had only been to seduce her, to make her stay with him, to let him control her. But that was all water under the bridge. Now he only wanted her. Just to be with her, to kiss her and never let go again. And now he was sure of something he couldn't quite admit back then: He loved her. He loved Sarah so much that it hurt.

Jareth began to breathe harder, which Sarah noticed of course. Her heart was racing. 'What's happening now? He doesn't want to...'

Jareth noticed her sudden uncertainty and pulled his lips away from hers. "I think I know what you're thinking," he said quietly and gently stroked her cheek with a finger. "Don't worry, Sarah. I may have a certain... erotic charisma, but that doesn't mean that's the only thing I'm thinking about. Right now, the only thing that's important to me is being with you."

Sarah lowered her gaze, her thoughts whirling around.

"Sarah..." Jareth took her head in his hands and looked at her, a smile on his lips. This time it was completely genuine and warm. It was a warmth that almost overwhelmed her. His eyes sparkled with love, and it was as if he couldn't get enough of her.

"If you want me to go, then I will." A hint of sadness crept into his voice. He didn't want to go. He wanted to stay with her, even if he just sat quietly in the corner and watched her read or do something else.

Sarah looked him in the eyes and shook her head. "I don't want you to go."

She was surprised at how much she wanted him to stay. She was older now, almost 23, and her feelings for Jareth had changed. She found him incredibly attractive and his closeness drove her mad. His smile made her heart beat faster, and the kiss had affected her more than she ever expected.

Jareth's heart leapt with joy. "Then of course I'll stay."

He leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"And what do we do now?" he asked, the words almost casually, but with a hint of curiosity.

"Um...well...I have this to-do list that I still have to work through," Sarah confessed. "And I also have to do an assignment for English class. You probably won't find that very exciting."

"I find everything you do exciting, Sarah. I don't know the human world that well, and it would be nice to just watch you. Only if you want to, of course." Jareth had been gently running his fingers up and down Sarah's arm the whole time and looked back at her.

She stood up and sat back down on her chair. "That's okay." She smiled at Jareth, almost driving him insane.

Good. So just act like I'm not even here. He stood up and walked through the room.

"Why is that?" We can talk to each other, can't we? Sarah was confused. "Or don't you want to?"

"Oh yes, I do. Very much so. I just thought that it might distract you too much." He had sat down again.

Sarah turned her chair around to face Jareth. She looked him straight in the eyes. "If that's the case, then it's a welcome distraction." Sarah put her hand over her mouth. Had those words just come out of her? She was so incredibly embarrassed.

Jareth, on the other hand, was very amused. He laughed and hugged Sarah. "That's nice to hear," he whispered in her ear. "Even though I can see that you're a little shocked by those words yourself." He kissed her cheek and Sarah pulled away from the hug.

"I have no idea what got into me." She wanted to turn back to the desk, but Jareth held her chair.

"Hey. It's all good. Don't worry about it, my dear." He stroked her head and took her hand. "You're just not used to all this. It will come with time. Before you dive into your work, I need to give you something."

Sarah was just about to ask what that was, when Jareth was already very close to her again and started to kiss her. Sarah sighed and fell into his arms, which he had wrapped around her.

Neither of them wanted to break the kiss and so they sat there for a while, tightly embraced. Until Jareth let go of Sarah and gave her another little kiss.

"Maybe I really shouldn't distract you like that," said Jareth after taking a deep breath.

He hugged her tightly one last time and Sarah started to do her homework.

Jareth looked around her room during this time and kept discovering things that he found interesting and asked Sarah about them. They both enjoyed the quiet time together, and when Sarah had finished the most difficult tasks, she realized that she needed a break.

"I'm going to lie down in bed for a while," she told Jareth.

He had been sitting on one of the wing chairs and leafing through a book. He put it down and watched Sarah as she got into bed. Then he got up and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Will you stay here?" Sarah asked him.

'As if she had read my thoughts,' thought Jareth and smiled.

"If that's what you want." Jareth smiled at Sarah, who just nodded.

He took off his shoes, crawled under the covers with Sarah and turned to her. Their faces were very close, and neither of them wanted to rush the moment.

Jareth took his hand and gently stroked Sarah's cheek. Finally he took her in his arms and after a while they both fell asleep.