After Sarah had blindly left the kitchen, she ran without stopping. She felt the cold night air that seemed to bore into her skin. Her thoughts were a single whirlwind of pain and confusion. She didn't know where she was going, but she just wanted to get away. Away from Jareth, away from the image that was indelibly burned into her memory and away from the heartache he caused her.
Her legs carried her out of the dorm and further and further until her lungs burned and she stopped in front of a small park.
The park stretched out before her like an oasis of solitude, enveloped in the gentle melancholy of the moonlight.
It bordered the campus and reminded her of the park in her home town. She had once held her theatre rehearsals there, with her dog, who had to serve as the goblin king. What she didn't know: Jareth had often been there in his guise as a barn owl. He had been watching her long before they met.
Sarah sank exhausted onto a park bench, laid her head in her hands and closed her eyes. Thoughts stormed through her mind, a wild whirlpool of memories and questions to which she could find no answers. She was now sure that Jareth knew exactly what he was doing to her. And that he was doing this on purpose. Did he want to torture her, to make her feel what he had felt back then? Or was he simply over her? The questions wouldn't leave her alone until the tears came unstoppably. Why did she feel like she was always floating between two worlds? Between light and shadow, between longing and pain? Jareth had once messed up her life – and now he was doing it again.
She thought she was alone and wanted to give in to her pain, but a rustling from the bushes startled her.
She quickly wiped away her tears and looked intently into the darkness, but despite the lanterns it was too dark to see anything. Then a shadow stepped out and came towards her. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw who was standing there. It was Jareth.
Sarah was frozen. She couldn't understand how he could be here so quickly when he had just been enjoying himself with Amber. Was it an illusion created by her desperate mind? She closed her eyes and opened them again – he was still there.
He approached slowly, his eyes fixed on her. When he stood in front of her, he sat down next to her without saying a word. Sarah sat stiffly on the bench and didn't dare move. There was a moment of silence, broken only by the rustling of leaves.
"Hello, Sarah. I knew I would find you here."
Sarah flinched and raised her head. His voice sounded like a distant bell, quiet but unmistakable. Jareth sat next to her, his hands in the pockets of his long jacket, and looked at her with a mixture of caution and hope.
Sarah needed a moment before she could answer. "Hello," she murmured and dared to look at him. What she saw made her recoil imperceptibly. His eyes were red. Had he been crying? No, that couldn't be. Someone like Jareth doesn't cry.
"You look like shit," she said suddenly, and to her surprise a fleeting smile flashed across his face.
"Well, you don't look particularly brilliant at the moment too, Sarah," he replied dryly. The way he said her name always gave her a shiver. It had been no different back then. He whispered it more than he spoke it.
"What do you want here?" Her voice was rough, broken.
"Talk to you. Explain things" Jareth tilted his head.
Sarah laughed quietly. "Explain? What is there left to explain, Jareth? You made it so clear. Why don't you go back? You had... to do." Sarah tried to sound matter-of-fact, but her voice betrayed her. She took a deep breath.
Jareth couldn't help but look at her closely. Why hadn't he noticed how beautiful she had become? He had found her very sweet back then, but after the years she had really blossomed. His heart skipped a few leaps.
He cleared his throat before he spoke. "Hm," he whispered, looking thoughtful. "This matter is settled."
"I hope my interruption doesn't have anything to do with it?" Sarah asked with the faint hope that it did.
Jareth shook his head slightly. "Unfortunately, I have to take that hope away from you, dear Sarah," he said and looked deep into her eyes. His gaze was so intense that she felt as if he could see her soul. How he had missed that.
Jareth thought of how he had locked away his feelings for Sarah and how they had now taken on a life of their own. He massaged his temples.
"I'm sorry," Sarah tried to say, but her voice was quiet and she had to look away.
Jareth smiled slightly. "I don't believe you," he remarked and looked at her intently.
"You don't have to." Sarah still couldn't look at him. "Whatever. You seem to have settled in quickly." Her voice was barely more than a whisper and her heart was pounding wildly in her chest.
Jareth looked at his fingers and sighed: "You can say that."
"I'm happy for you." Her words sounded hollow and she wondered why she was still speaking.
Jareth watched Sarah, who was staring at her hands.
"Sarah..." He couldn't help himself and carefully reached out and touched her Hand. She flinched as if she had been burned.
"Why are you here anyway? You surely didn't just think that you wanted to go to this college in my world so badly."
Sarah raised her head and looked at him. He couldn't read her look. Something in it gave him hope, but something else dashed it.
"I was alone for many years, Sarah. After your victory over me and after you..." he breathed out. "After you rejected me and broke my heart, I really wasn't feeling well. My heart was broken. I needed time to put it back together. I got better bit by bit. But even then I couldn't forget you. Even though my heart was repaired, my feelings for you were still there. So I did the only right thing."
Sarah looked at him and her heart beat faster. She wanted to say something, but she couldn't get a word out.
"I locked my feelings for you in a corner of my heart," Jareth continued. "And I thought I had banished you from my thoughts. But when I found out you were going to college here, I couldn't help it. I wanted to see how you were doing. I thought I could write it off as pure curiosity. But..." He stopped and ran his hand through his hair.
Jareth looked at her again and sighed. "I was over you. At least that's what I wanted to believe."
He looked into the distance, as if he hoped to find the right words there.
Sarah swallowed hard. "And Amber? She seemed to keep you company enough. You certainly gave the impression that you were over me."
She couldn't bear to look at him any longer and looked at a ladybug that had landed on her knee.
"Impressions can be deceptive," he said, more to himself, watching Sarah as she tried to get the ladybug onto her finger. He smiled. "You don't seem to be entirely sure of your feelings either, Sarah."
She slowly turned to Jareth, who was looking at her intently. "What do you mean?" she asked, trying to sound as ignorant as possible.
"Sarah, come on." Jareth looked at her seriously. "I have noticed how you always reacted when Amber and I were together. Or the situation in the kitchen? Your look spoke volumes. You were suddenly very pale and frozen. If you hadn't cared, you wouldn't have reacted like that." He looked at Sarah with a questioning look. "Amber was also a distraction, nothing more. It was a mistake. I was trying to find something I thought I would never find again." He looked straight at her. "You."
Sarah felt her eyes moisten. "This is... so confusing, Jareth." Her voice was quiet, but she knew he had heard her.
He could see Sarah's heartbeat double. 'Please let me be right about my feelings this time,' thought Jareth and took Sarah's hand.
She looked with wide-open eyes at her hand, which was now in his, and raised her gaze. The two looked into each other's eyes for a while until Jareth decided to move closer to Sarah. He didn't let go of her hand.
Sarah made no move to remove her hand from his either. It just felt too good. However, she felt like she was almost going to faint, as fast as her heart was beating.
"Apparently, it looks like I'm not over you after all, Sarah," said Jareth and ran his index finger over the back of her hand. That sent a huge shiver down her spine and she shuddered.
He put his face in his hands and sighed. Then he raised his eyes and looked at Sarah. There was something in his eyes that made Sarah's heart jump. She tilted her head.
"What is it?" she asked him and her voice betrayed how nervous she was.
"I'm letting my feelings for you take hold of me again." He said this without taking his eyes off her for even a second. "It feels like a missing piece of the puzzle is returning to its place." He smiled at her. A smile that Sarah had found beautiful back then, and she couldn't help but smile back. When she noticed it, she quickly looked away.
Jareth put his hand on her cheek and turned her face so that she had to look at him again.
"Sarah..." he whispered, leaned forward, took her face in his hands, and gave her a kiss on the forehead that couldn't have been gentler.
Sarah almost died. A wave of emotions ran through her body and she couldn't help but sigh. Jareth's hands were still on her cheeks. She looked at him with wide eyes and he looked into her eyes. They sat there like that for a while until Jareth simply took her in his arms.
Sarah leaned her head on his chest and closed her eyes. Jareth stroked her hair. "Sarah. I know that I'm not a perfect man. But one thing I know for sure: I love you."
His words penetrated the wall she had built around her heart. She looked up at him, tears streaming down her cheeks, and she could only whisper, "I don't know if I can trust you."
Jareth nodded slowly, his face full of pain and understanding. "Then let me prove it to you, Sarah. Give me the chance to make everything right."
She hesitated, but finally leaned her head against his chest again. "I don't know, Jareth. But... I want to know."
He wrapped her in his arms, and for a brief moment the world seemed to stand still.
