Elliot knew his daughters had been there simply by the smell of the Glade plug-in on the wall. Apple spice or some shit like that. Katie always said it made everything feel warmer and more inviting, but he thought it smelled like fake apple pies.
He kept a hand on Hannah's elbow as he guided her down the hall. Had Hannah been one of his own daughters, he would have scooped her up and carried her where she needed to go, but up to this point, Elliot had tried to keep his physical presence minimal and unimposing.
They knew she had been abused, but it was unclear if any sexual abuse had taken place. She wasn't afraid of him, which is surprising considering the level of physical abuse she must have endured. He hoped to continue to build that trust.
"I'm going to put you in my guest room." He tilted his head toward the door across the hall. "Olivia and I will be just across the hall, and Noah will be in the next room over."
"Okay," she responded softly.
"I told my girls to get the room ready. It's been a little while since my mom has used it." He chuckled to himself. "She kept some pretty weird knickknacks, so I made sure someone got things ready for you ahead of time."
Hannah's gaze dropped to her feet. "You didn't have to do that. I mean, I don't want to be in the way or anything.
Elliot reached for the door handle. "You won't be. Promise," he said sincerely.
She nodded, but remained silent as he opened the door.
His jaw dropped and Hannah's eyes widened when the door swung open. The room wasn't at all how he left it. He didn't know which of his daughters took the lead on the room transformation, but his heart swelled with pride. Despite his many imperfections, he and Kathy raised some pretty great kids.
Hannah's hand remained on his forearm as he led her inside. The dresser that had once been cluttered with his mother's things had been cleaned off and replaced with various hair care products, bracelets, and a stuffed bear. The bedspread had been replaced with a teal and gray striped set, including fuzzy pillows and a coordinating minky blanket. To the side of the bed was a bean bag chair that matched the whole set.
Elliot guided Hannah to the edge of the bed so she could sit, but her eyes never stopped taking in everything in the room. "This, this, it's for me?"
Elliot chuckled. "It's clearly not for me." From the corner of his eye he noticed a sticky note stuck to the mirror above the dresser. He reached for the note, plucking it off the corner of the mirror.
Noah and I *might * have gone a little overboard. We wanted her to feel comfortable, and hopefully this helps. Love you!
-Maureen, Kathleen, and Noah
"What's it say?" Hannah asked as she scooted herself closer to the headboard.
"A note from the kids." He lifted it up so she could see it better. "They want you to feel comfortable."
Hannah glanced around the room. "I've never had nice things like this. Never."
Elliot sensed an opportunity and sat next to her on the bed. "Your parents never bought you stuff for your room?"
She aimlessly picked at the fabric of her pajamas. "I never had my own room or anything."
Elliot nodded. "I always had to share with my brothers. I hated not having privacy. Plus they were always acting like idiots."
Hannah let a small smile through. "I didn't mind having my sister with me. The other kids too. It was warmer."
"Other kids?" Elliot asked nonchalantly. His heart pounded. Hannah had never given them any real clues to where she came from.
Her eyes finally landed on her backpack—the one Elliot bought for her to put her things in at the hospital. "Can you grab my bag?"
Elliot reached for the backpack. He resigned himself to the fact that she wasn't going to give any more details about her family.
She took the backpack from his hands and unzipped it. There wasn't much in there, but she pulled the stuffed animal Noah had bought for her at the hospital. Once she retrieved it, she tossed the bag onto the other side of the bed.
She held the animal close to her chest, refusing to make eye contact as she continued. "My family wasn't the only family that lived there. I mean, there were other families that lived in the same area as we did."
Elliot sensed that Hannah was intentionally remaining vague. He knew he was walking a tightrope. He needed more information, but he couldn't press too hard if he wanted to get it. Patience was the name of the game. Instead of demanding a location or even the number of kids stuck in whatever hellhole she managed to crawl out of, he asked a more natural question and hoped it might lead the conversation where he ultimately needed it to go. "Do you have any brothers?" Up until this point, Hannah only ever mentioned a sister.
"No, but I helped a lot with the younger kids. The other kids weren't really my family, but I always felt like the younger kids were my brothers and sisters too." Before he had a chance to ask how many younger kids were there, she asked him a question. "How many kids do you have? I know you've mentioned you have daughters…and Noah said that Dickie was your son too."
"Yes, and Eli," he added.
"Oh yeah." She seemed a little embarrassed about forgetting Eli.
"Hey, don't worry about it. You've had a tough few days and have met a lot of people." He laughed to himself. "I've got a lot of kids. Most of the time I can't keep them all straight," he joked. The comment earned a small smile from Hannah. "I've got three girls and three boys," he said, finally answering her question. "Maureen is the oldest. She's married with two kids. Kathleen is next. She helped me pick out all the clothes, so if you hate them, you can blame her." That earned him another smile. "Lizzie and Dickie are twins. Eli came along a lot later, and you met Noah." He shook his head. "Try not to worry about remembering them all. They all sort of pop in and out of here like they own the place, so you'll probably know everyone eventually."
"Okay," she said while gently toying with the stuffed puppy's ear. "Where does Noah fit exactly? You said you and Olivia have only been together for a little while. Noah doesn't call you Dad or anything, but he looks like you. Both of you, actually."
Elliot adjusted his weight so he was facing more towards Hannah. "We get that a lot." For more reasons than he could ever explain in one conversation. "It's a weird coincidence." Or fate, as he would like to believe. "Olivia adopted him when he was a baby. I was…I wasn't around then. I didn't meet Noah until a few years ago."
For a moment Hannah sat silently, rubbing her thumb over the plush fabric of the stuffed dog. "He's lucky," she finally said. "You know, to have you, and a mom that really loves him. Not everyone gets to have that."
Elliot understood that more than most.
Somewhere in the distance he heard a key jingle in a lock. He hoped it was Olivia coming home, but it was a bit of a crapshoot based on how many people in his life had keys to his place.
"That's probably Liv, he said while tugging back the comforter. "Why don't you get some rest?" He glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand. "Noah's going to be home from school in a few hours, and I doubt he will give you a moment's peace when he gets here."
Hannah smiled, a little wider than she had minutes before. "It's okay," she said with a yawn. "I'm used to having lots of people around." She burrowed herself further beneath the heavy blanket. "It feels weird when I'm by myself." Her eyes closed as she rolled onto her uninjured side.
Elliot tucked the comforter over her a little more snugly. "Well, you are at the right place then. We've got lots of family. You won't have to ever be alone if you don't want to be."
Elliot moved towards the door. Before passing through it he asked, "Open or shut?"
Hannah shifted her weight and mumbled something unintelligible, obviously too sleepy to really care. He pulled the door most of the way closed, ensuring he left it open enough to hear her if she needed anything but closed enough to muffle whatever sounds he made around the apartment.
In the hallway he heard the familiar sound of Olivia depositing her keys and purse on the counter before heading to one of the cabinets for a glass of water. He smiled to himself. The glass of water the second she got home was a well-worn habit. He figured she was so distracted or busy during the day that she would forget to hydrate, and her body would suddenly remember she was totally parched the minute she got home.
As expected, she was leaning against one of the counters, a fresh glass of water in hand.
"Didn't think I'd see you for a while," he thought aloud. "Figured you'd try to avoid me for a little bit longer."
She finished her glass of water and placed it in the empty sink. "Fin kicked me out. He said I either needed to get some sleep or work things out with you."
Elliot folded his arms and leaned his hip against the counter. "Which one do you want to do first?"
She took a few steps toward him. "I want to sleep, but I think we need to get this," she motioned between them, "figured out if we are planning on parenting two kids together. Even if it's not permanent. She'd been through enough, and we can't be at each other's throats." She took another step closer so she was within arm's reach. "I didn't mean it when I said Noah was only mine."
Elliot shook his head. "I know that. I do."
"But?" She prompted.
He pressed the heel of his hand into his eye. "I don't know, Liv." He dropped his hand back down to his side. "I want to explain it, but I can't. I'm always worried that you are going to wake up and realize I'm not what you want, and Noah…God, that kid is everything to me. The idea that you could leave at any time—and take him with you—scares the shit out of me."
Olivia folded her arms. "Seriously? You are seriously questioning my commitment here? If you remember, I'm not the one who took off for ten years without a word. Ghosting is your MO. Not mine."
"Is this how it's going to be? Is this going to be your ammo for the rest of our lives? I left, so that makes me a crappy person?"
Olivia groaned and moved around him towards the living room. "That's not even close to what I said!"
"You don't have to say something for it to be obvious. You've always been Saint Olivia, and I've been your bonehead partner. Your worse half."
Olivia threw her hands up in the air. "I've never tried to be a saint, Elliot, and I'm not planning on bringing up your leaving for forever. I've forgiven you for all of that. I truly have, but just because I've chosen to forgive doesn't mean that the hurt won't crop up! I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm not even saying I'm worried you'll leave again. I just…" She sighed and dropped herself onto the couch, her head falling into her hands.
For a moment Elliot just stood at the end of the couch, struggling to find words to make all of it better. He wanted a blanket apology. A Band-Aid to fix the bullet hole he left all those years ago, but no such fix existed.
Elliot carefully sat down on the couch next to her and waited for her to find the words to express herself.
After a few moments she lifted her head from her hands. "I need you to trust me."
"I've never trusted anyone more in my life."
"But not in this way. El, in a work situation I know you'll always have my back, and I think you know that I will have yours, but this… this relationship is different than what we had before. I think we are both holding ourselves back while we wait for the other shoe to drop."
Elliot breathed a slow breath through his nose. "I don't want to hold back." He dropped a hand on her knee. "I'm in this."
"I am too." She lifted her hand to cup his cheek. "And I need you to trust me. I'm not going anywhere. Noah's not going anywhere." She smiled gently. "You're stuck with us, Stabler. For better or worse."
