AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I'm baaaaccckkkk *hides behind the wall*
Sorry it's taken so long guys! I planned a short hiatus to prepare for New Moon, then I got hurt, then some other stuff happened in life (as it always does), and after all that I kind of lost my motivation for this story.
As I'm getting back into it, I'm trying to find my passion again. I don't know how frequently I'll be able to update as I won't be doing definite weekly updates anymore, but I want to thank everyone who is still leaving favorites, follows, and comments!
I've also gone back, added an actual intro, and edited some chapters in hopes of fixing any mistakes I didn't catch the first time around and to make it easier to read on a phone screen 😚
You guys are the reason I came back
╰(*´︶`*)╯
~I've been too negligent and now Bella was suffering.~
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE - IRRESPONSIBLE
WHEN I CAME TO, I was already on the jet and more than halfway home. I nearly panicked until Jasper held me against him, soothing my frazzled emotions.
He filled me in on everything that happened so far, even the strange and brief call he had with Alice. I didn't need his gift to know he was angry—upset even.
My own emotions were all over the place and I felt discombobulated. Part of me still felt like I was sinking in the never ending dark sea, while the other part of me felt relieved that at least Jasper was still here. Still with me. Still holding my hand every step of the way.
By the time we reached my house, my dad was flying out of the front door, eyes red from clearly a sleepless night and perhaps a few tears. Jasper gently let go of my hand as I was engulfed in my dad's arms.
"Vega." He breathed, sounding relieved.
"Dad. How's Bella?" I blink, trying to fight the tears of worry away.
I could hear him swallow thickly and sniffle as he pulled back, "Not good. She woke up the whole street screaming bloody murder last night."
Peeking at Jasper in worry, I saw his own face full of concern.
I hold onto my dad's hands and chew my cheek, "I'll go see her."
"I'll grab your bags, Darlin'." Jasper's hand soothingly lands on my back and I nod as I usher my dad inside.
He clears his throat to kill the silence, "So, you and Jasper…"
"Mm. Later, dad. Let's see Bella first."
Stepping into the house felt like stepping into somewhere void of any joy. I bit my lip as I made it to the stairs, looking at my dad who gestured for me to go without him.
Stopping in front of Bella's closed door made me swallow thickly, the sound of Jasper carrying my bags in and talking to my dad fading to the background as I raised my hand and knocked lightly.
"Come in." Bella's voice was quiet and hoarse and it broke my heart.
The door swung open slowly, revealing Bella's frame curled up under blankets in bed, facing away from the door.
"Bells…" I croaked and her blankets were thrown off her body as she looked wildly to me.
Suddenly she's sobbing and hurling herself from the bed, slamming into me so hard we both hit the floor and I ignore the pain shooting up my tailbone in favor of hugging her back.
I wasn't ready for the dark haze to slam into me with such fever, my blood turning icy as I saw and felt Bella's newest worst memory. Edward leaving. I pull myself out of it as she cries in my arms.
"Vega…he left…"
She sounded so broken and I swear if I see Edward again I'm going to break his fucking face for this—and by that I mean have Jasper land one good hit on the vampire.
I can only hold her as she sobs in my arms, running my hands down her back as I think how this could be fixed.
My phone vibrates in my pocket but I ignore it in favor of finally maneuvering Bella back to her bed. She's clinging to me like a koala, refusing to let go, and even whimpering as I move to adjust us better on her bed. I kick my shoes off and settle more comfortably, letting Bella rest her head on my stomach—only a few short years ago this position was reversed as Bella comforted me during my darker years.
"Please don't leave, Vega." She begs, tightening her arms even more and I assume that the text was Jasper telling me he left so I could console Bella.
I card my fingers through her hair, "I'm not going anywhere, Bells."
At some point we both drift asleep, unaware of dad checking in on us with a sad smile.
I shoot awake, heart pounding as Bella screeches, the sound ricocheting like a bullet in my brain.
Squinting in the dark, I shake her to wake her up, "Bells. Bella, wake up."
"Vega?" She whispers, sniffling and then throwing herself back on me.
Most of the night is spent reassuring her I wasn't going anywhere and that she was okay.
The next morning, Bella was awake so I asked if she wanted to sit with me when I showered. I needed one desperately and maybe I could convince Bella to take one too. I was pretty sure I saw dirt still in her hair…
After checking my text, I saw that it was indeed Jasper. He told me he would be back and to call him if I needed anything. Yeah, I needed him to hunt down Edward and then string him up so I could beat him with a bat. But I knew he meant the whole mood control thing, and while I appreciated it, I wanted Bella to organically heal.
I was able to coerce Bella into the bathroom with me, tugging her along as we walked hand in hand and even managed to get her to shower after me by luring her with my favorite shampoo that she never touched.
As she was getting dressed, I changed her bedsheets and after finishing, I glanced at her as she blankly stared out her window. I gently sat her down on the bed, still holding her hands as I asked, "Will you tell me what happened?"
She flinched as if I hit her before her lips wobbled, "I don't know. I thought-I thought we were fine."
I purse my lips before trying to dig deeper, "Did something happen at your party? And don't lie to me, Bella."
Bella sheepishly looked at me, "Yes…"
"Mm. And what happened?" I press softly.
She bites her lip before word vomiting the entire event that transpired and I feel nauseous over the idea that Jasper leaving hadn't changed anything. It was as if this event had to play out. Instead of it being Jasper, it was instead Elias, the nomad the Cullens took in who was new to their diet.
Why they thought that was a good idea I would never know.
I was angry at myself for not thinking something would happen—especially after the James incident—but part of me was angrier with the Cullens for being too incautious. Who the hell lets some new nomad around a human that is just changing diets?
The party happened similar to what I could remember, Bella got a paper cut and then all hell broke loose from there.
"Why didn't you tell me when we talked on the phone?" I mumble, fighting tears.
"I didn't want to worry you and I thought it was fine." Bella squeezed my hands, trying to defend herself.
I gaped at her, "You almost died, Bella!"
"And now they're gone." She snapped back before sniffling, "It's like a part of me did die."
I sighed, getting through to her was going to be harder than I thought. I'm brought back to the present as she asks for some time to herself and I make her promise she won't start spiraling the second I walk out of the door.
As hesitant as I was to leave, I could tell after recounting the story she needed some time. And despite knowing she most likely would spiral, I needed a moment to process everything too.
While Bella is taking her alone time, I head to my room and text Jasper. Not three minutes later he is at my window, nearly startling me into a heart attack.
As soon as he's through the window, my body is wrapped around him and I'm crying. Tears just fall from my eyes these days like a broken faucet.
He lets me cry it out, taking us over to my bed and settling us down as he soothingly scratches my scalp and rubs my back. I'm sitting on his lap though this time not for anything sexy as my face presses into his shirt, no doubt leaving behind a mess of tears and snot.
When I finally have the strength to move away, he's already staring down at me with heartbroken eyes, clearly wanting to do something to fix my emotional state, but as always careful to not use his gift.
"Have you gotten in touch with anyone?" I sniffle as I swipe at my wet cheeks.
He nods, "Mm. Alice explained some stuff."
"Did they tell you why they left you behind without a word?" I peevishly question. Already upset about how they handled the situation, but to leave someone they considered an actual family member behind miffed me beyond belief.
And then, not only did Edward force them all to leave town, he left Bella in the woods! In the cold! Alone! And then they all had the nerve to just pretend Jasper didn't exist? They didn't even give him the kindness of a warning? Did Edward think I'd never return home? Or did he think Jasper would leave me to wither away like he has Bella?
There were too many questions and not enough answers because we weren't inside their heads during their sudden departure and me letting them run through my mind only made me feel resentful toward them.
Jasper looks a little uncomfortable, but admits that it was because they knew he'd choose me.
And this really wasn't the time for those words to light me on fire the way they did so I tamp down the flames, my arms loosely hanging around his neck as I give him a dainty kiss.
"I'm really worried about her…and I'm mad as hell at Edward. We should hunt him down and beat him for not being decent enough to leave anything behind. And then maybe rip an arm off because he did leave her in the woods, alone and in the cold." I grumble, before slowly turning it into a rant about how he took everything Bella had that involved him.
I huff, "Everyone knows Bella is stupidly uncoordinated, how could he do that?"
"I know he's my brother, but this was unreasonable. They even cleaned out the house." Jasper mutters into my hair as I relax against him.
I gasp, "Cleaned out the house?! Where are you staying?"
Jasper chuckled, "I'm redoing my room of course. In case we need to escape for a bit."
That is rather sweet of him and very much thoughtful because I could definitely see myself needing some time away for a small break just to bask in the glow of Jasper. The smile on my face must've been felt against his chest since he dropped a kiss onto my head and I felt his own smile on his face.
For the next half hour, I bounce ideas off of Jasper on how to get Bella to start healing. It would be no easy task, Bella had been infatuated with Edward. Her entire life, and future, entwined around him. I never thought it was the healthiest, warning her time and time again to take it slow.
For all of us, Edward simply left. But for Bella he took a piece of her I'm afraid she'll never get back. And the fact was, that it was rather daunting to think about what the future now held.
The more I think about it all the angrier I get to the point I hop off of Jasper and start pacing. He stays seated, watching as I unleash all of my fury and frustration in words that blend together before sighing.
"I just think it was really irresponsible of all of them to leave even if Edward was demanding it. Not only does Bella know that everyone is a vampire, she even knows about everyone's abilities. On top of Victoria still being on the loose!" I can't stop venting as I fire off reason after reason on why it was a horrible idea for them to leave.
Weren't they all supposed to be old as hell? Did common sense leave after so long?
Jasper snorted when I said that and the glare I shot him made him obnoxiously fake frown and agree with me.
I run my hands down my face, "And isn't there like that secret society of ruling vampires that'll kill us if they found out?"
"The Volturi won't know." He practically spat the name, scorn thick in his voice before his eyes harder with determination, "I won't let them hurt you."
My eyes hold his as I mutter, "But if they did find out, there's only two choices and the fact your family left still knowing that was careless of them."
My feet lead me to stand in front of him as I softly hold onto his face, "And it wouldn't be just Bella or I that got hurt. They would punish you guys for even involving us humans in your lives."
His hands move to cover my own, "I'd take a thousand deaths twice over if it meant that I still got these last few months with you, Vega."
I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks as I bump my nose to his as I tease, "Cheesy."
"You love it." The cocky smirk on his face was too attractive—I had to look away.
I simply hum in response and let my eyes flutter shut as he gently kisses me. It's light and chaste, but envelopes me with a sense of security, safety.
And just like that I could hear an angelic ding in my brain as I recalled what helped Bella in the 'original' universe. Jake.
Sure, it was early. And yeah maybe I'll be screwing up the plot, but I was ready to throw caution to the wind. I mean clearly if something had to play out, it would. The universe would make it so. I've been too negligent and now Bella was suffering.
I pull away from Jasper with a devious smile, "I know what to do."
"And what is brewing in that brain of yours, Darlin'?" He grins, waiting for me to divulge my latest plan.
"Bella needs friends. And Jake is perfect. Yeah, maybe he likes her a little too much, but maybe that's exactly what she needs!"
Jasper could control his face as much as he wanted but his eyes spoke that he didn't love the plan. But that was probably because Jake was from La Push. The boy wasn't a werewolf yet. Totally safe to hang around and a perfect distraction for Bella in my opinion.
He stands up and huffs loudly as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, "I don't love the idea, but I know you'd do anything for Bella. And I'd do anything for you. So if you think this is the best plan to follow, I'll help where I can."
"Mm. You are too good to me, Jasper Hale." I sigh blissfully as I pucker my lips, silently asking for another kiss knowing he'd have to leave soon so I could go back to Bella.
He drops a light kiss onto my lips, mumbling against them, "I love you, Darlin'. Call if you need me."
"I will. I promise." I sigh wistfully, already missing him despite him being in front of me as I whisper, "I love you too."
In the blink of an eye, Jasper is gone and I'm left on my own. It was time to be the big sister again. I swallow and steel my nerves before waltzing over to Bella's room.
She's catatonically sitting in a chair facing the window and I throw my hands up in disbelief. I told her not to spiral!
I'm glad it's the start of the damn weekend at least. I force myself to calm down before walking over to her and shaking her shoulder a bit, "Bells."
She breaks out of her trance-like state to look at me, an apology falling from her mouth.
"It's okay. I know it's still raw right now. But maybe we could hang out with Jake? Get you out of the house?" I suggest, crossing my fingers behind my back that she says yes.
Her face says she doesn't really want to, but my face must be showing how much I do. She hesitantly agrees and I'm quick to grab her hand before dragging her downstairs to call the Black residence.
I hand the phone over to her, urging her to be the one to initiate. Jake would probably think it's a little weird if it's me doing the talking.
A small part of me quivers at changing the plot, but a larger part of me is feeling vindictive. Not only did I try to manage and navigate the original plot so that most of the horrible stuff wouldn't happen, it all happened anyway. If there were events that were fated to be, the world would create it so that something would still happen.
I didn't like it, in fact I hated it. So now, what else am I left to do but disregard the plot entirely and try to make Bella's life better despite what really happened when Edward left in the 'original' world? Nothing was holding me back now and I should have felt a smidge worried over that, but Bella comes first.
I wasn't there for her enough, too absorbed in my own head and Jasper. But no longer will I put off Bella's wellbeing. Maybe I'll even get her to call Edward a piece of shit later. If his car was still here we could've spray painted it—Jasper would have even helped us.
As I focus back on Bella, she's just hanging up with a tense and nervous, somewhat forced, smile, "He said we can come over now if we want."
"Mm. Let's go. I'll tell dad while you change." I push her toward the stairs, already dressed for an outing myself, the only thing I need are my shoes.
Dad was still asleep, probably from lack of rest and complete stress. I knocked on his door softly before cracking it open to see him squinting at me with worry.
I give him a reassuring smile, "Bella's fine. We're just going to go hang out at Jake's. I think getting her out of the house will be a good distraction."
"Thanks, Vega. I'm sorry I left you alone like that."
Even after I told him it's fine, he tried to apologize a few more times before I told him to go back to sleep and went to get my shoes while sending Jasper a text about what the plan was.
He wouldn't be pleased that I was heading to the rez, but with Victoria still being a menace out there somewhere it was the second safest place for us to be—being next to Jasper's side of course being the first safest place.
I was fairly certain there were already some shifters…though my memories have grown hazier over the years, especially involving the wolf pack. But dad did say Sam Uley found Bella and I was pretty sure he wasn't running around as a human in the forest when that happened.
There was so much I didn't know about the wolves and not because I disliked them, but simply because I don't remember any vivid details about their members as Jake was sort of the catalyst of it all and he definitely is not a werewolf yet.
Jasper offered to drive us, but I declined saying I wanted to drive with Bella and take The Beast. It had been months since I sat in the abomination. Besides, the last thing I want is to raise any tension between the wolves and Jasper.
Of course, Jasper has no idea that I knew of the werewolves in La Push. That was something he didn't divulge, the most he said is that they—the Cullens—weren't allowed on the land. I assumed there were some stipulations in place surrounding their entire agreement. Such as not being allowed to tell others the supernatural secret of one another. AKA, them being vampires and werewolves.
As my phone buzzed, I checked the message rolling my eyes as I read the words of his fretful worrying. It felt weird not being next to Jasper after months in his presence and I was a little glad to have this space. It was alarming how empty I felt when he wasn't around.
Part of me understood why Bella was feeling the way she was. Why in the 'original' she spent months as an empty shell of herself. Because if being away from Jasper for a few short hours already had me feeling like this, what the hell did Edward vanishing do to her? I didn't even want to imagine if Jasper did that to me.
Speaking of Jasper, I do plan to have him come around and see Bella. I would have already had it happen before suggesting going to Jake's, but I wasn't sure if that would do more harm than good at the moment. It wouldn't be healthy for Bella to latch onto Jasper's presence just to have proof the Cullens existed. So, for now I will talk about him and slowly introduce him into her life.
A tap on my open door drew me from my thoughts, Bella stood there looking every bit like she did not want to leave.
"Ready?" I ask, hopping up and shoving my phone in my pocket before prancing toward her, snagging her hand, and pulling her downstairs and out of the door.
As we stepped into the brisk air, I could only think that this would all go spectacularly or blow up in my face. I could only hope that I was the only one wounded in the end if it was the latter.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I don't *love* this chapter, but writing it has helped me get reacquainted with Vega's character and where she is emotionally.
Vega is not a SI for me so it took a LONG time and a lot of rewrites of this chapter before I even felt happy enough to post it.
One thing to know as we go forward is that this will obviously not follow the exact plot of New Moon haha so while I will be pulling some bits from it, there will be changes! This is also why it may take a little longer for updates.
Vega is about to start full on crashing out over everything. Not only is she trying to keep Bella from slipping into a catatonic state like in the 'original', she's also balancing her own emotional state (which is A LOT of feelings mixing together creating a dangerous molotov cocktail internally)
Once again, I can't thank YOU all enough because it was you guys that really helped bring me back to this! I hope you keep supporting me on our journey together
( ´θ`)ノ
I've been having issues with this website for a while and some chapters say outdated url, but all of my work is crossposted on AO3 as well.
AO3 current pseuds:
Twilight Fandom: Incandescent_Glow (Draught_of_Dreams)
Other Fandoms: Draught_of_Dreams
