I'll just live on with all my might
It had been several weeks since Mikan had established her new routine. Whenever boredom struck—and it often did—she found herself either at the gym or sitting quietly in the café downstairs, sipping tea and watching the world go by. Despite the change of scenery, what she missed most during these stretches of idle time was the simple act of talking to someone. Natsume was rarely around, and when he was, their conversations were sparse and perfunctory.
One particularly uneventful afternoon, Mikan found herself aimlessly wandering the apartment, feeling restless. She had already been to the gym earlier that morning, but with nothing else to do, she decided to go back for a second session.
This time, she chose the stair-climbing machine. The repetitive motion burned her legs and sent her heart racing, but she welcomed the discomfort. She could see her body changing, becoming stronger, and that was motivation enough to keep going. Minutes turned into hours as she lost herself in her workout, her focus narrowing to the rhythmic stepping and the steady thrum of her music.
By the time she left the gym, the sky had darkened. She hurried back to the apartment, realizing she had stayed out later than usual.
When she entered, she was surprised to see Natsume sitting in the living room. He was sprawled on the couch, one arm draped lazily along the backrest, a faint light from the television flickering across his face. At the sound of the door, he glanced up, his crimson eyes settling on her with mild curiosity.
"Where were you?" he asked, his voice calm but direct.
Mikan paused, taken aback for a moment. "At the gym," she replied simply, slipping off her shoes and placing her bag on the counter. "What about you? Did you eat yet?"
"Yeah," Natsume said, his voice casual as he leaned back on the couch. "I left some in the fridge if you're hungry."
Her eyes flicked to the kitchen, and she nodded. "Thanks," she said, offering him a small smile before heading toward her room.
She gathered her pajamas and stepped into her adjoining bathroom for a quick shower. The hot water was soothing, washing away the ache in her legs from the workout. After drying off and changing into her comfortable clothes, she returned to the kitchen, her damp hair tied loosely back.
Opening the fridge, she found a neatly packed portion of the dinner Natsume had prepared. Simple, but warm and inviting. She reheated it, the soft hum of the microwave breaking the quiet. Once it was ready, she settled at the dining table, quietly eating while Natsume remained in the living room, his attention back on the muted television.
After finishing her dinner, Mikan rinsed off her dishes and placed them in the dishwasher. She felt the familiar calm of the apartment settling around her once again. It had become part of her routine, the evening quiet that came after the simple tasks of the day were done.
She wandered into the living room, where Natsume was still on the couch, flipping through channels without any real interest. The low hum of the television was the only sound in the room, and Mikan stood for a moment, unsure if she should join him or just head to her room.
Finally, she opted for the latter, giving him a soft "Good night," before heading down the hallway.
Her room was a sanctuary of calm, a place where she could finally let go of the day's weight. The bed was inviting, the soft, beige sheets a sharp contrast to the stillness of the apartment. She lay down, propping herself up with a pillow and pulling her laptop onto her lap.
The screen lit up her face as she clicked through a few things, her mind wandering as she scrolled. She had grown used to this—being alone in the apartment, getting lost in her thoughts or in the occasional distraction that came from the internet. She couldn't help but feel the void of the day. She had moments when it felt like she was living a life dictated by others, like she was on autopilot, doing what was expected but not truly finding herself in it.
Sighing, she closed her laptop and set it aside. She couldn't keep going like this—feeling like an observer of her own life. She needed to find a way to fill the space she was creating in her mind.
The apartment was quiet, the only sound now the faint hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen. Mikan sat up in bed, pulling the covers over her legs as she turned off the lamp on her nightstand. Her thoughts settled as sleep crept in, pulling her into the peaceful stillness of the night.
One Saturday, Mikan had signed up for a yoga session at the building's gym, looking to break the monotony of her routine. The class was small, just a few people, and Mikan found a spot near the back of the room. As she settled onto her mat, she noticed a young woman with a bright smile taking a spot beside her.
The woman was short, with soft blue hair tied in a neat ponytail. Her presence was warm and inviting, the kind of energy Mikan had long missed. She introduced herself as Nonoko, a 22-year-old medical student who lived in the same building. Her parents ran a pharmacy in the city center, and she had just moved into the building a few months ago, hoping for a quieter place to focus on her studies.
Mikan smiled back, intrigued. "It's nice to meet you. I've been living here for a while, but I haven't met many people yet."
Nonoko laughed lightly. "I can relate. I'm mostly at school or at my parents' pharmacy. But I figured this class would be a good way to break out of my usual routine. Plus, I've always wanted to try yoga."
As the session started, the two women fell into the rhythm of the class, silently stretching and breathing together. Mikan couldn't help but notice how easily she connected with Nonoko. There was something comforting about her presence, like meeting a kindred spirit after a long time of solitude.
After the session ended, they both stood, stretching and gathering their things. Nonoko was quick to offer Mikan a smile. "Hey, do you want to grab a coffee sometime? I've been wanting to explore the café downstairs. Maybe we can hang out after the next class?"
Mikan's heart lifted at the invitation. It felt nice to have someone to talk to again, someone who wasn't part of her long-standing circle of family and acquaintances. "I'd like that," she replied. "Let's do it."
Before they parted ways, Nonoko pulled out her phone. "Let's exchange Instagram accounts. That way, we can keep in touch and plan something for next week."
Mikan quickly followed suit, typing in her handle and pressing "send." A small, genuine smile crept onto her face as they both exchanged numbers and waved each other off. For the first time in a while, she felt a sense of excitement, the promise of new friendship and possibility tugging at her heart.
The next few days passed in a blur of routine, but Mikan found herself looking forward to her next yoga class, eager to see Nonoko again. She had always been content with her solitary life, but after meeting the young woman, she realized just how much she had missed genuine connection and the excitement of making a new friend.
By the time the next class rolled around, Mikan was feeling unusually excited. She arrived early, finding a spot in the back of the room, just like the week before. As the other students trickled in, she kept her eyes on the door, anticipating Nonoko's arrival.
It wasn't long before Nonoko walked in, her face lighting up when she spotted Mikan. She waved enthusiastically and headed straight over to her. "Hey! Ready for round two?"
Mikan laughed. "I'm ready. I hope my muscles remember what we did last week."
Nonoko grinned, rolling her eyes playfully. "Don't worry, I'm sure we'll survive. I'm still sore from last time."
The two women shared a brief chuckle before settling into their mats. As the yoga session began, they exchanged occasional glances and smiles. The class felt different this time—more relaxed, somehow. Mikan found it easier to focus on the movements with Nonoko there beside her, adding an element of camaraderie she hadn't realized she needed.
After class, as the students packed up, Mikan and Nonoko made their way toward the exit, chatting about their plans for the weekend. Mikan was surprised at how natural the conversation felt, as if they had known each other far longer than just a few days.
"So, what do you like to do for fun?" Nonoko asked, glancing at Mikan as they stepped into the hallway.
Mikan paused, considering. "I don't know, I guess... I usually just stay in or go out for a walk around the city. I've been meaning to check out more places around here, but I never really get around to it."
"Same!" Nonoko exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. "I feel like I've barely scratched the surface of Osaka. We should make a day of it sometime—wander around and explore new spots. I'm always up for an adventure."
Mikan smiled, feeling a warmth spread through her. "That sounds fun. I could use some fresh air, honestly. When are you free?"
Nonoko thought for a moment. "How about next Friday afternoon? We can grab lunch first, then just wander around. I know a few good spots around the city."
"Friday it is," Mikan agreed with a nod. "I'm looking forward to it."
As they parted ways, Mikan felt a sense of anticipation bubbling inside her. The idea of spending a day exploring with someone, having a true outing and a chance to experience Osaka in a way she hadn't before, was a welcome change from the quiet, solitary life she had been living. For the first time in a long while, she was genuinely excited about what was to come.
Friday arrived, and Mikan was eager to meet Nonoko for their adventure. She'd spent the morning getting ready, choosing a comfortable outfit for walking around the city. As she made her way to the café in the building to meet Nonoko, she couldn't shake the feeling of excitement.
When she arrived, Nonoko was already there, sitting at a table by the window. She waved energetically when she saw Mikan. "Hey! Over here!"
Mikan smiled, her heart lifting. She joined Nonoko at the table, and the two of them quickly settled into conversation over coffee, chatting like old friends. The easy flow of conversation, the shared laughter, and the sense of connection felt like a refreshing breath of air.
Afterward, they spent the afternoon wandering through the bustling streets of Osaka, checking out hidden cafes, browsing little shops, and even stumbling upon a small art gallery. Mikan felt a lightness she hadn't experienced in a long time, and with every step, she felt like she was reclaiming a part of herself that had been buried under the weight of obligations and routines.
As the sun began to set, casting a warm glow over the city, Mikan turned to Nonoko with a smile. "Thanks for today. I had a really great time."
Nonoko grinned. "Me too. I'm glad we did this. We should do it more often."
Mikan nodded in agreement. "Definitely."
For the first time in a while, Mikan felt a sense of belonging. Not in her marriage, not in her family's expectations, but in this new friendship. It was a small but important step in rediscovering who she was outside of the roles she had been placed in. And as they walked back to their apartment, the city lights twinkling around them, Mikan felt a flicker of hope for the future.
Nonoko and Mikan had quickly become close, meeting up regularly at the café and gym when they weren't attending yoga classes. Their shared love of exploring the city had added an extra spark to their friendship, and Mikan was beginning to feel more and more comfortable in this new chapter of her life. For the first time since moving to Osaka, she was truly starting to enjoy her free time.
One afternoon, Nonoko had asked Mikan if she would like to join her and a few friends for dinner at a restaurant on Saturday night. Mikan, taken aback by the invitation, was thrilled. It had been a while since she had spent time with a group of people her age, and the idea of going out to eat and meeting new faces was something she eagerly looked forward to.
"I'd love to," Mikan had said, her voice bright with excitement. "Thank you for inviting me!"
Later, she made sure to let Natsume know that she'd be home late and that he didn't need to wait for her. She wasn't sure if he'd even notice, as he rarely seemed to be around anyway, but it felt like the polite thing to do.
Saturday night finally arrived, and Mikan was looking forward to her evening out. She'd dressed specially for the occasion, choosing a pretty brown dress that complemented her figure, paired with tights and ankle boots. She tied her hair into a neat ponytail and applied a light touch of makeup, just enough to feel a bit more polished without going overboard. She smiled at her reflection, glad to see a version of herself that didn't feel as restrained by her usual responsibilities.
Mikan left her apartment and made her way downstairs to the lobby of the building where she was to meet Nonoko. As she entered the lobby, she spotted her friend almost immediately. Nonoko was standing near the entrance, looking effortlessly chic in a sleek black blouse and dark jeans. Her bright smile when she saw Mikan instantly put her at ease.
"Hey, you look amazing!" Nonoko greeted her with genuine enthusiasm.
"Thank you! You too," Mikan replied, her heart warming at the compliment. She was glad to feel like she was part of something, finally.
The two women exchanged a brief smile before heading out together. As they made their way to the restaurant, Mikan couldn't help but feel a little nervous—she hadn't been out with a group of people in a long time. Still, she was excited at the prospect of meeting new faces and stepping out of her usual routine.
The walk to the restaurant was brief, and soon they arrived at a cozy, dimly lit place with an inviting atmosphere. Nonoko led Mikan inside, where they were greeted by the host and shown to a table in the back. A few minutes later, two women arrived, all in their mid-20s, each with a friendly, open demeanor.
"This is Anna," Nonoko said, pointing to a pretty cute girl with pink hair.
"And this is Hotaru," she added, gesturing to a woman with short black hair and purple eyes.
"Nice to meet you," Mikan said, feeling slightly awkward but doing her best to hide it. She was genuinely happy to be part of the group.
They all greeted her warmly, and soon enough, the conversation flowed easily. Mikan was surprised by how comfortable she felt with them. Hotaru was quiet but kind and Anna was easygoing and made everyone laugh. They all seemed to genuinely enjoy each other's company, and Mikan couldn't help but feel grateful to Nonoko for including her in their night.
The food was delicious, and Mikan found herself laughing and sharing stories with the group, despite her initial reservations. They talked about everything—from their favorite local spots to funny experiences at work—and before she knew it, the evening had flown by. She had almost forgotten how nice it was to be part of a group, to have people to talk to who weren't bound by obligations or formalities.
As the night wound down, Nonoko and Mikan walked back to the building. The air was cool, and the streets were quiet, but Mikan felt a sense of warmth and contentment.
"Thanks again for inviting me, Nonoko. I had a great time," Mikan said as they reached the lobby.
Nonoko smiled brightly. "I'm glad you could come! It was fun, right? You're always welcome to join us."
"I'll take you up on that offer," Mikan replied, feeling more at ease than she had in a long time.
As she entered her apartment a little while later, Mikan couldn't help but smile to herself. She was starting to find her place, one small step at a time.
Despite her growing friendship with Nonoko, Mikan still sometimes felt a sense of isolation. She cherished their time together, their casual conversations, and the ease with which they could talk about almost everything. But there were things Mikan couldn't share—not because she didn't trust Nonoko, but because there were parts of her life that felt too foreign, too heavy, to discuss.
Her family, the ryokan, her engagement, the pressure of being groomed as an heir—these were topics Mikan avoided, even with someone as kind and open as Nonoko. Mikan's family came from wealth and status, and she had been raised to uphold a carefully crafted image, one that didn't allow room for vulnerability. As much as she longed for an honest conversation, she knew she couldn't risk revealing too much. Her name was well known in certain circles, and every word she spoke could reflect back on her family, for better or worse. And given how much her future had already been mapped out for her, even a small misstep in public could have consequences she didn't want to imagine.
Nonoko, by contrast, seemed to live in a different world. She came from a respected family of pharmacists, yes, but her upbringing felt freer, less constrained by the weight of tradition and reputation. Their social status was similar, but the boundaries within which they moved were vastly different. Nonoko was still a student, surrounded by a diverse mix of people from all walks of life. She was open, expressive, and curious about the world, and that made Mikan a little envious. Mikan had been raised to know her place, and although she loved learning about the world, her education had always been narrowed to the practicalities of running the ryokan. There hadn't been much time for anything outside of that, certainly not for making friends from varied backgrounds.
Her family's ryokan was a revered establishment, tied to her bloodline, and it came with responsibilities that Mikan had never asked for but had been prepared for her whole life. She was expected to be the heir, the future of the family business. Everything had been planned, from her education to her future marriage, and even though she didn't resent it, the weight of it all often made her feel stifled.
Mikan sighed one afternoon, her thoughts wandering as she sat across from Nonoko in the café, sipping her coffee. She admired her friend's carefree attitude, her ability to flit between people and places without hesitation. It was something Mikan longed for, but it seemed out of reach.
She often wondered what it would be like to have a life without the constant pressure of expectations, without the looming shadow of the ryokan's legacy. What would it be like to make choices for herself, without worrying about family duty, her future marriage, or the opinions of others?
As she looked across at Nonoko, smiling and chatting with her, Mikan felt a pang of longing. She wanted to be like her—free.
However, despite the weight of the expectations and the constraints that defined her life, Mikan remained, at her core, a responsible person. The role she had been handed—heir to the ryokan, bound by family duty and tradition—was not one she had chosen. But it was hers, and she would face it with the same diligence that had been instilled in her since childhood.
She had moments of doubt, of frustration, but deep down, she knew that this was just the beginning. Tomorrow, she told herself, things would be different. It wouldn't always be like this. In time, she would find her place within the ryokan—not just as a figurehead but as someone whose voice mattered. She would assert herself, get involved in the decisions that shaped the future of the ryokan. Mikan had always admired her mother, Yuka, for her strength and the way she commanded respect. And Mikan longed for the same sense of purpose, not out of obligation but because she truly wanted to contribute, to be heard, and to be supported by those around her.
She wanted to prove that she could be more than just the face of the family business. She wanted her ideas to be taken seriously, her opinions valued. She wanted to stand beside her mother, not behind her, and contribute to the ryokan in a way that felt authentic to her own vision.
And as for Natsume—despite the distance between them, despite their cold, polite exchanges, Mikan still hoped for change. She didn't expect sudden closeness, nor did she want to force anything that wasn't meant to happen. But she did hope that over time, they could find a way to understand each other better, to work together as partners, even if it wasn't in the romantic sense that society might expect. She didn't need a grand love story; what she longed for was something simpler, something more grounded. She wanted to be able to rely on him, to support each other as equals. Kindness, she believed, could grow between them—not as an obligation, but as a natural progression of time spent together, of shared experiences.
Maybe, just maybe, with patience and understanding, they could bridge the gap that had formed between them. Not as strangers forced into an arranged marriage, but as two people learning to be companions in the journey ahead. That was what Mikan hoped for most: not perfection, but the quiet comfort of mutual respect and care.
