A/N: A belated Merry Christmas, everyone!
glorialopezgl534.03: Thank you for your review. I am glad you enjoyed the chapter
Special thanks to my beta Vnillachamomile for helping out with this chapter. Enjoy, guys!
12:30 a.m.
Jan Di sat in Jun Pyo's bedroom in the F4 lounge. "Hey, Jun Pyo. This is Jan Di. I haven't heard from you since—well, since—you know. How are you holding up?"
1:30 a.m.
"Hey, Jun Pyo, Jan Di again. I just wanted to check if—are my calls going through?"
2:30 a.m.
"Hey, Jun Pyo. I—" Jan Di slammed the decline button. No, she wouldn't do this. She wouldn't let Jun Pyo's witch of a mother turn her into one of those girls.
She shot up from the bed. So what if it had been a month since he left for New York, and she'd gotten nothing but one-liner texts since then?
There was a 14-hour time difference. And maybe he was busy. With everything that happened last month, the witch was more volatile than ever. She must be keeping him on a tight leash
She sat down at the study table and opened her textbook. She was busy too. It was already December. Exams were only two weeks away. Time to cram in some late-night revision.
Her eyes fell back on her phone. Maybe one last try.
"The number you are trying is currently busy. Please—" Tears stung her eyes. Jun Pyo, where are you?
Someone knocked on the door. "Come in," she said, wiping the tears on her sleeve.
Ji Hoo Sunbae stood at the doorway, a stunned expression on his face.
"It's exam stress, Sunbae. You know how it can get sometimes."
Suspicion flickered across his face, but when he finally spoke, his voice showed no sign of it. "Let me fetch my old notes. We'll go through the chapter together."
_oOo_
Woo Bin and Yi Jeong met Il Hyun's Hyung at a coffee shop.
"Some girl agreed to marry you?" Woo Bin asked Yi Jeong's brother.
Why did Yi Jeong keep taking Woo Bin places? When Hyung called asking to meet urgently, Yi Jeong feared the worst. He feared Hyung would take off again. Considering what an emotional wreck he was the last time that happened and that he drank himself into oblivion a month ago, it seemed prudent to invite Woo Bin along. Just in case.
But he should've factored Woo Bin's unreasonable hatred for his brother into the equation.
Yi Jeong kicked him under the table. "He means congratulations."
"Congratulations," Woo Bin murmured.
"Thanks. I'm yet to propose. Fingers crossed." He turned to Yi Jeong. "That's why I called. You have an artistic eye. Help me pick out a ring?"
"Of course."
Yi Jeong rushed Hyung to Woo Bin's car. The quicker they reached the jewelry store, where he could distract Woo Bin with shiny merchandise, the better.
The plan failed.
Woo Bin looked at the emerald earrings and then back at Yi Jeong. "I don't mean to cramp on your style and all, but isn't this a little too girly for you?"
"Not for me, you dimwit! For Jae Kyung," said Yi Jeong.
"Don't be ridiculous. I can't randomly buy her expensive presents. It'd make her uncomfortable." Woo Bin called the sales lady over. "Excuse me, Miss. My friend here was wondering if you have a 'buy one, get the other 50% off' on any of the rings? The brothers are planning to have a joint wedding of sorts."
She took a second to recover. "Let me check with my manager."
"He's just joking," said Yi Jeong. "Excuse me." He grabbed Woo Bin's arm, dragging him to a remote corner. "Not another word out of you. Stay here."
Woo Bin obeyed—for around 2.5 seconds.
"Bro."
"That's a word, Woo Bin."
"I am sorry."
Yi Jeong jerked his head up.
"How could I even consider buying Ga Eul's ring at a discounted rate? I am so sorry."
"I need new friends," said Yi Jeong.
_oOo_
Jae Kyung skipped her way to her usual after-class hangout spot. Exam week ended, finally. She slumped on a bench. The sweet, sweet taste of freedom.
Hana slid in next to her, question paper in hand. "What did you put for question 39?"
"I put 'C.'"
"Won't it be 'B' since—"
Yu Ri snatched the sheet. "Come on, nerds. Give it a rest. Finals just ended. We'll be seniors next semester. Live a little."
"Right, because getting wasted at a bar is the only way to live."
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Hana. I meant a road trip."
Jae Kyung loved that idea. It'd been ages since she went on an all-girls road trip. "I say we leave tomorrow at dawn. Just rent a car and see where the road takes us."
"Not tomorrow." Hana fixed her hair. "I'm meeting someone."
"Like a date?" asked Yu Ri. "Hana, you little minx. Tell us about this mystery man with nerves of steel." She poked her in the ribs. "Is he hot?"
She removed Yu Ri's arm. "He is—aesthetically pleasing."
"Ooh. Can we see a picture?" asked Jae Kyung.
"I don't have one."
"Not a problem." Yu Ri unlocked her phone. "I just need a name."
"Let's get back on topic," said Hana.
"Oh, come on. Don't leave me hanging."
"If tomorrow goes well, I'll introduce you, happy?" Before Yu Ri could respond, she turned to Jae Kyung. "How about next weekend?"
Jae Kyung looked at the pleading look Hana shot her. A first date can be scary at times. An exhilarating, butterfly-inducing, good kind of scary, but still scary. It made sense why Hana would want to keep things to herself for a bit. She'd tell them eventually.
Currently, Jae Kyung should help her change the topic. "Sorry, the weekend won't work. I've plans. How about next-to-next Tuesday?"
"Sure." Yu Ri grinned. "I wouldn't want to keep either of you from your hot man-cakes." She turned to Jae Kyung. "Where's he taking you anyway?"
"Just this cabin his family owns, a little outside the city." Woo Bin had wanted to go for a while now. She finally found the time.
"Away from civilization? Just the two of you?" Yu Ri grinned. "You kids remember to use protection."
It took a second for the words to sink in.
"Why do you look as if you heard a hurricane announcement? You remember who you're dating, right?"
Logically, it made no sense, but she'd almost forgotten about that aspect of his dating history. He'd let her set the pace.
"Seriously, what's up with that expression? I'm telling you, if my boyfriend was that hot—"
"Yu Ri, stop talking," said Hana. "Don't listen to her. She loves spouting nonsense. Enjoy your trip."
Jae Kyung could tell Hana was holding herself back. After their spat a month ago, she made a point to not say anything negative about Woo Bin or their relationship.
Yu Ri put an arm around her. "I was pulling your leg."
Jae Kyung forced a smile, only half-listening. The excitement of this trip is what kept her sane the past week, but if Yu Ri was right, then should she still go? She needed to speak to Woo Bin.
_oOo_
Woo Bin handed Jae a small container. "Saltwater taffy. Gran brought some back from her trip." Jae mentioned how much she loved them a few months back, so he saved her some.
"Thanks." She smiled, but it looked just a little forced.
He joined her on the couch. "Bad day?"
"No. All good," she said, a slight quiver in her voice.
He touched her shoulder. "Jae—"
She flinched. "Sorry. I didn't mean to—can we talk?"
"Sure," he said in his most reassuring tone. In the two and a half years he'd known her, she'd never looked this—terrified.
"About this weekend—let's do something else."
"That's it? Jae! You really had me worried for a second."
"You don't have a problem?"
"Sometimes things come up. We'll just reschedule."
She picked her sleeve. "Yeah, sure."
"I'm guessing it's more complicated."
She didn't answer.
"Come on, what happened?"
"Maybe it's better to rip the Band-Aid straight off. I spoke to Yu Ri—about our trip, and she insinuated that—and guess I shouldn't be surprised, given everything—but since you never brought it up, I forgot—not that I think it's your fault."
"Jae, sweetheart, take a deep breath. It's alright. Whatever it is. It's alright."
"I don't want to have sex."
That confession, however sudden, made her ramblings sound more coherent in hindsight. "That's okay."
"I'm sorry. I know we've been together for a while, and most people around you have, and—"
He took her hand. "Stop. It's not a problem. Whatever you're comfortable with."
She visibly relaxed.
"And please don't apologize. Your ex mentioned how you felt about all this. So—"
"You talked to Yoo Jin about this?"
Sometimes Woo Bin acted dumber than Jun Pyo. What was he thinking dropping that tidbit on her? "It's not like it sounds. We weren't discussing—I didn't ask; he offered."
"I see."
"No, you don't." He pushed his hair back. "It's not like that. I didn't seek him out or anything. It happened that day at the karaoke bar. I shut down that line of conversation almost immediately, and I haven't spoken to him since."
"He said I wasn't your type, didn't he?"
Shifting closer, he intertwined their fingers together. "Well, he's an idiot. Who cares what he thinks?" He brushed her knuckles. "The important thing is, I knew all this going in. So, don't worry, okay? I'm happy to take things slow."
She smiled again, only this time it was real.
While they still required a longer discussion, he had more questions, this wasn't the time. Right now, he needed to calm Jae down. He put some taffy in her palm. "Try some."
She held his gaze for a moment, then tried one. "Even better than I remember. You know, the last time I tried these was in Chicago."
She launched into a story about her teenage years, the tension dissipating the more she talked. By the time the story ended, she was back to her usual self.
He grabbed a taffy from the bag, twisting the wrapper in his fingers. "Jae?"
"Yeah?"
"Now that we've got all that sorted out, can we still go on our trip?" He raised both his hands. "Pleasure of your company, that's all. No ulterior motive."
"Sure, I'd like that." She regarded him, an amused glint in her eyes. "So, your intentions were purely kosher? One hundred percent?"
"I resent the implication. I'm a perfect gentleman."
"Of course."
"Did the thought cross my mind? Sure. But that's not why I asked." He took another taffy. "It's a beautiful place. With how stressed you were for finals, I thought you needed a break. The possibility of some action was just an added bonus."
_oOo_
"Ready to go in?" Yi Jeong asked.
She paced the floor. "Maybe we're being too hasty by jumping straight to skydiving? Let's start smaller."
"You survived the Sky Tilt. You survived the Ferris wheel. You can survive this too."
"I suppose," she said, but made no move towards the gate of the skydiving center.
"You made me promise I wouldn't let you back out." He swung her hands back and forth. "Mr. Cho comes highly recommended—ten years in the business, zero accidents."
She refused to budge.
"Okay. How about we take this step by step? All you've to do right now is go inside and meet Mr. Cho. That's all. No pressure."
She took a deep breath. "Yeah, I can do that. Talking, just talking."
She finally let Yi Jeong lead her inside.
"Welcome," said Mr. Cho, shaking hands with both of them. "Let's get you started with the safety demo."
Ga Eul pressed his arm. "I can do this. Just watching a video. Nothing scary about that."
Luckily, Yi Jeong had the foresight to familiarize himself with the safety instructions a week before, because he was far too focused on her to pay attention.
Mr. Cho's soothing voice did the trick. She looked much calmer now.
"The city looks breathtaking," she said, pointing at the video feed.
He returned her smile. "Ready to board the plane now?"
"No, but I will anyway."
He slipped his hand into hers. "Don't worry. We're only boarding an airplane. Nothing else. You've done that before."
She buckled her seatbelt. "Yeah, nothing else."
"Let's go over the safety instructions once more," said Mr. Cho.
This time, Yi Jeong paid attention.
"What's the next step?" asked Ga Eul.
"Putting on some gear."
She took a deep breath. "Some clothing. That's all it is."
She walked to the edge of the gate, staring down at the city below.
Yi Jeong put on his own gear. "Mr. Cho will be with you. He's the best."
Nodding, she let Mr. Cho help her into position. "Yi Jeong—"
The howling winds drowned out her words. "What?"
"Any last words?"
Yi Jeong looked at the ground below then back at her. "I love you."
"Sorry, didn't catch that."
He bit his lips. "I said we're going to be fine."
She gave his hand a final squeeze, then jumped off the plane.
Yi Jeong stood at the door for a moment, coming to terms with what he almost did. Maybe it was for the best that she didn't hear him. What if she turned him down? He wasn't sure he could handle that.
_oOo_
Chef class with Vietnam was never a bore.
"Seriously, that's why our class is predominantly Asian-European?" Ga Eul asked.
"Of course it isn't," said France. "Ninety percent of Vietnam's stories are pure fabrication."
Vietnam kept a firm hand on his shoulder. "Oh, Damian, why must you always doubt me?"
"The countries are decided based on the location of the chefs in the selection committee," said Chef Lee. "Not because I got chased off a remote island by tribals when I tried to diversify." He tasted Ga Eul's dish. "Passable."
Vietnam glanced at her grade. "Ninety-eight? I believe she beats you again, Damian. What is it, the third time this week now?" Slinging his bag on his shoulder, he turned to France. "Come on, pay the piper."
"I don't recall making any wager." France sprinted towards the exit.
Ga Eul wiped her station. "Aren't you going to chase him?"
"Where's he going to go? We live together," said Vietnam. "Do you need help cleaning up?"
"No. That's alright."
"Then I bid you adieu."
Ga Eul put her apron back in the drawer, a small smile on her face. Today's dish was more experimental than usual. If it hadn't been for the morale boost from skydiving, she would have never attempted it.
"Korea." Chef Lee called her to his desk. "Here," he said, pushing an envelope towards her.
It was an invitation to the most exclusive culinary event in Korea. Most aspiring chefs would sacrifice a kidney for the chance to attend.
"Don't be late."
"Yes, sir. And—thank you. It's an honor."
"Don't flatter yourself. I had to take someone. You were just the least repulsive option."
She suppressed a smile. There was no such requirement. Chef Lee attended this convention solo on several occasions.
_oOo_
"First impressions?" asked Woo Bin.
Jae Kyung glanced around at the wooden cottage. A large fireplace stood in the corner surrounded by overstuffed armchairs. Family photos lined one side of the wall, and a large bookshelf the other.
"A beverage, young Miss?" asked the butler.
"Yes, thank you." Accepting the steaming cup of hot chocolate, she walked to the window. Snow-covered pine trees spread out for miles. "Gorgeous. It looks like a Christmas postcard cover."
"Wait till you see it from high ground. I'll show you tomorrow when we ski." He gestured for her to join him by the fireplace.
She slid in next to him on the armchair. "You know skiing is one of the few sports I'm actually great at."
"You said the same things about skating."
"No, I said I took classes when I was younger. You assumed that meant I was good."
He chuckled. "Right, my mistake."
She took a sip of hot chocolate. "Want to watch a movie?"
"There's this great one about a group of friends who go to this cabin on top of a mountain, but unbeknownst to them, the place is haunted."
"Sure, but it might get a little uncomfortable for you the next time you bring a girl up here—having to explain how your last girlfriend died in this very spot from a heart attack and all."
He played with the lapel of her coat. "You're awfully cheeky tonight." He tugged at it, pulling her closer till their faces were inches apart.
He released her. Strolling to the other end of the room, he rummaged through drawers. "Want to play board games?"
She followed him. "Ooh, Ludo. I used to love that game."
"Yeah, but we don't have enough people. Snakes and ladders?"
"That's a solid backup." She shuffled through the drawer again, until landing on a pack of cards. "Uno? Brings back so many memories."
Stacking the other games away, he said, "We can play, but I'd warn you, I am the unofficial champion of all card games."
"Will the others back that up?"
He followed her back to the couch. "Ji Hoo, no, but Yi Jeong and Jun Pyo, sure."
Shuffling the deck, she dealt the cards. "Chen and I used to play this all the time. We'd have month-long championships. George, that's Mom's bodyguard, would referee." She paused. "I don't think we finished our last tournament."
Woo Bin put down a skip card. "Jun Pyo kept track of all that. He forgets nothing, at least when it comes to group activities."
"You know, I recently learned that you can end the game with a Draw four."
"Don't tell Ji Hoo, or I'd owe him ten bucks."
"My lips are sealed." She put down a card. "Now draw four cards."
Jae Kyung won that game and the two more after that, not that she kept count.
"I'm just rusty," he said.
"Of course." She picked up both their empty mugs. "I'll just put this in the sink."
When she returned, she found him staring out the window, a pensive expression on his face.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
He studied her face for what felt like an eternity. "I want to ask you something, but"—taking her hand, he led her back to the couch—"this isn't me trying to pressure you, okay? Just trying to understand. Is it a 'not before marriage' kind of situation or…"
"No. It's not a religious thing." She fiddled with the blanket. "It's more of a—" She tapped her thigh, thinking of the best way to frame her response. While Woo Bin was an understanding partner in most cases, she didn't have a good track record with these kinds of conversations.
"Whatever it is, I promise I've heard worse. I once dated someone who was celibate during the full moon. Seriously, I was half-convinced she was a werewolf."
She wasn't sure if that was true or something he made up to calm her down, but it worked. This was Woo Bin. He was her friend. Despite how different they were when it came to physical intimacy, he'd understand, or at least try to. "I'll tell you, but promise not to laugh." She grabbed the edge of her blanket. "I don't want to sleep with someone unless we're in love."
Surprise flickered across his face, but he recovered quickly. "I get it."
Her shoulders unclenched. Leaning back, she shut her eyes. This was normal, wasn't it? Men who genuinely cared didn't push boundaries. With them a hug could just be a hug. It didn't need to lead to something more. They didn't guilt-trip, didn't cajole, didn't pretend to respect your decisions, but later punish you with passive-aggressive jabs, screaming matches, and the silent treatment.
Yoo Jin never gave a damn.
Two years, she wasted two years on a man who never respected her. She bit her lips. On some level, she knew this. But a part of her still clung to the belief that at some point he loved her, that the entire relationship wasn't a waste of time. Faced with a live demo of how a decent partner handles a no, however, she found those delusions impossible to cling to.
"I know we look at certain things differently, Jae, but you seem to think we're on the opposite spectrum of things. We're not, okay?"
His tone took her aback. He sounded almost hurt.
"I never slept with Ji Ah."
While Jae Kyung avoided thinking about Woo Bin and Ji Ah's relationship, if forced to consider it, this isn't the conclusion she would've drawn.
"We fought about it once—a few days after you two met. I said it was nothing but chivalry on my part. That while she wanted a committed relationship, I still wasn't sure. That I just didn't want her to feel used. None of that calmed her down."
Despite their tense relationship, Jae Kyung couldn't help but feel a tinge of sympathy for Ji Ah. She must have felt so undesirable. Nobody deserved that.
He leaned his head back. "She kept accusing me of holding back. I thought she meant sexually, but… since our breakup, that fight's lived in my head rent free." He glanced at the fireplace, guilt evident on his face. "It wasn't just sex. It was any kind of physical affection."
Jae Kyung failed to keep the disbelief out of her voice. "But I was on your date. That didn't seem like a problem. You seemed quite affectionate—"
She paused. Did he? Or did Jae Kyung's pain stop her from seeing things clearly? "She almost always did the initiating."
"Yeah, I'm not proud of it, but I was kind of terrible to her. No idea why she put up with me for so long." He crossed his arms. "The point is, despite the lies I told myself, I didn't turn down her advances because I was being chivalrous. It felt wrong, on some level." He met her eyes. "Yes, I can sleep with a woman without getting emotionally attached, but not if I've feelings for someone else."
"Is that why you didn't date anyone for a year after Kiarra?"
"A part of it."
Shifting closer, she wound her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder. Despite how wrong it was, a small part of Jae Kyung couldn't help but feel flattered.
"Don't tell anyone. I've a reputation to maintain," he said.
"Wouldn't dream of it. Can't risk people knowing you're a real softy."
_oOo_
"And while I trusted Mr. Cho," said Yi Jeong. "In that moment, looking down at the cold, hard ground, I thought: what if something did happen to me? Accidents can happen. Do I really want to die with regrets?"
Woo Bin clapped him on the shoulder. "Bro, you finally did it?"
"Well, yes and no. She didn't hear me because of the wind. So, I pretended I said something else. But still, I finally said the words. That's huge, right?"
Shaking his head, Woo Bin marched into the F4 lounge kitchen and walked back with a jar. He handed it to Yi Jeong. "Look inside. What do you see?"
"It's empty."
"Look closer. You see that tiny speck over there? That's your masculinity."
"That's so sexist."
"Oh no, I'm not calling you a woman. That'd be insulting to Gran, Jae, Jan Di, Ga Eul, and all the other strong, brave, wonderful women I know. No, I'm calling you spineless. Wuss!"
_oOo_
Jun Pyo snuck back into his room. His mother was still at the meeting with the Smiths. That should give him at least an hour. Firing up his laptop, he called the F4 lounge.
"Hi," said Jan Di.
"Hi." He touched her picture on the screen. How did he survive a month without seeing her face?
"How's New York?" asked Ji Hoo.
"Cold and empty without my friends and my Jan Di." Jun Pyo took a second to savor the sight of her. She'd her hair clipped back, and wore her usual raggedy pajamas. None of that did anything to diminish her beauty.
"—Wuss." Woo Bin's voice cut through the daydream.
"I'll remember that next time you—" he heard Yi Jeong reply.
"Is that Woo Bin and Yi Jeong?" Jun Pyo asked. "What are they talking about?"
"Yi Jeong's masculinity," said Ji Hoo. "Or lack thereof."
"That's kind of mean," said Jun Pyo.
"Thanks, bro," said Yi Jeong.
"I don't know," said Jan Di. "He has been looking a little lanky lately."
Jun Pyo looked Yi Jeong up and down, then nodded. "Yeah, a little, but still…"
"That's it." Yi Jeong marched towards the door.
"Where are you going?"
"To the gym."
"Bro," said Jun Pyo. "We haven't talked in ages. Come—"
The call disconnected. Jun Pyo turned around to find his mother glaring at him.
"But I haven't spoken to them in weeks," he said.
"Why aren't you in class?"
"I'm already ahead of the syllabus. I don't need any more extra classes."
"200,000. That is the number of people who depend on Shinwa staying afloat for their livelihoods, for their health insurance, for their children's education. Remember that the next time you decide to skip class or lounge around with your friends."
A/N I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! What was your favorite part? Tell me in the reviews!
