Journal 1 - Entry 1


I'm not really sure what exactly I'm supposed to do with this. Inoue said it would relieve stress to write stuff down, but I've never been the type. I know Yuzu kept a journal, but it's not really something I'd ever consider. But if Inoue thinks it'll help, I'll at least give it a shot.

Am I supposed to introduce myself? Hi, I'm Ichigo Kurosaki! No, that's stupid, I'm the only one that'd read this, right? Whatever, Inoue said I should use this to vent about all the shit that's happened over the course of the last month or so, so I guess I will.

Everything started with fighting that Quincy bastard in Hueco Mundo, who trapped me in the garganta when I was trying to get to the Soul Society when the first invasion started. I guess… I don't know, it feels weird writing this out… It was a helplessness that I'd only felt twice before, the day I lost my mother, and the day that Ginjo seemingly took everything from me. And just like both those times, it was raining. Rain is always a bad omen for me I guess.

When I found Byakuya and he gave me his final request, I lost it, rushed in like an idiot, and nearly got myself killed. I lost my Bankai and had to go to the Royal Palace to get it fixed. Byakuya's death hit hard, but me, Renji, and Rukia, knew we needed to focus, to do what he asked, so we poured our all into training with the Zero Squad.

We didn't even realize that the second attack on the Seireitei had begun. By the time we arrived, even more had died. Once again I was too late to protect so many people. But I had to try. I fought my way through the Sternritter, my new power made me feel invincible. In hindsight, this was so incredibly foolish of me.

I made it down to the Seireitei, only to find out that Yhwach was already leaving to go to the Royal Palace. He made it and his Royal Guard killed the Zero Squad before I made it back up there. I was slow, always too slow, not able to protect anyone. It is my greatest flaw. My biggest failing. I'm never fast enough to protect what I need to. It seems like every time I close my eyes I see bodies. Byakuya, Rose, Kenpachi, Kira, the Zero Squad, Ukitake, Yoruichi, Shinji. Corpse after corpse.

Dammit, there I go again. If it weren't for Inoue and my sisters, I know I'd repeat the mistake of the first invasion and just try to go kill as many of those Quincy bastards as I could, my life be damned.

I need to calm down and get back on track. Yhwach used his control over my blood to cause me to attack the Soul King. Losing control of myself, another thing I hate. I'd lost myself to my hollow before, but this was different, and so much worse. I was thrown away from Ywhach and had to work my way back to him. I encountered Uryu right before I got to Yhwach. It was such a relief to see that he wasn't truly against us. He said he had a plan to finish this.

I knew I had to go ahead. It was the logical thing to do, and Uryu was always the logical one, but when that bastard Haschwalth appeared… I don't know what I should have done. Sometimes I think I should have stayed and fought him with Uryu. What would have happened then? Was that a future Yhwach foresaw? Or maybe it was something Haschwalth did when he had The Almighty. I don't know if I'll ever know. I guess I'll just have to live with the regret of that decision.

I reached Yhwach and began to fight him. He was a monster. I activated my true Bankai. I fought him with everything I had. I had help from so many people, Inoue, Renji, even bastards that were my enemies in the past, Aizen and Tsukishima. Every time it seemed as though victory was in our grasp, it would slip away.

But finally, we thought we had it, an opening, a chance to finally end it. Our only chance. Uryu's father, Ryuken, shot Yhwach with an arrow of some kind. It incapacitated him somehow. It was the perfect chance. A single swing of Zangetsu, and it would all be over. But one thing wasn't accounted for. Something that shouldn't have happened. Hat-and-Clogs said he was dead. He doesn't make mistakes like that, ever. Yhwach said he had used Auswählen on all remaining Quincy during our fight. Clearly that wasn't true. When I pushed forward to try and cut him, there was a pressure, pushing me down. It was much weaker than before, but I knew what it was. I had experienced it earlier.

He was clearly on death's door, only moving because of that damned technique Ransōtengai. Askin Nakk Le Vaar. During our first meeting he called the ability Gift Bad. It was weak but it was enough. (He muttered something about overwork but I wasn't exactly giving a fuck about him at that point)

Like what has happened so many times, one more time I was too damned slow. I cut through Ywhach, and the wound was severe, but it wasn't enough. Everyone there collapsed to the ground, Askin dead, me, Aizen and Yhwach wounded, but one person approached. He was wounded as well, but not as severely. It was Jugram Haschwalth. He had defeated Uryu, but had made it back. He retrieved Yhwach and went to ascend back to the Wahrwelt.

Both me and Aizen passed out. Aizen would have died if not for Inoue, and I was close too. When we woke up we were going through the gates out of the Schatten Bereich. I wanted to go back in, the fight wasn't done, we had to take them down. But Head Captain Kyōraku was there, and gave me the rundown. Put bluntly, everything had gone to shit. Turns out we never learned from the mistake made during the incident with Ginjo, Tsukishima, and Xcution. When Haschwalth possessed The Almighty, he was able to act independently of Yhwach. Hat-and-Clogs is still investigating how this was done. I'm not savvy with details like that, but from what I understand, it was done utilizing another pocket dimension, separate from the Schatten Bereich; something more reminiscent of the Valley of Screams.

So Haschwalth had taken Yhwach back up to the Wahrwelt, and connected his unconscious body to the Soul Kings remains, and it seems to be keeping everything in stasis, and as such that prophecy, Kaiser Gesang, as Uryu's father called it, has reset, but along a much shorter time period: 9 years to recover his pulse, 9 months to recover his intelligence, 9 weeks to recover his power. And as such, the power of The Almighty has been taken by Haschwalth for that period.

When this occurred, Haschwalth opened the way of this other dimension and thousands more Quincy troops poured into the Schatten Bereich. If we wanted the Gotei to survive as an organization, retreat was the only viable option. Within the couple weeks of the retreat we started encountering new Sternritters. We learned that Haschwalth was able to bestow Schrifts using Yhwach's blood. This made our situation much, much worse. The first to arrive in pursuit of us were small fry, about Lieutenant level, and Captains could clean them up with ease. It was the arrival of the first new Schutzstaffel. With this encounter we learned that the title of Schutzstaffel was being used more as an elite rank for high-level Sternritter rather than a specific job. This didn't diminish those bastard's strength though.

The first one to show up called herself Sternritter W - The Wrath. She was wrapped almost entirely in bandages, and used a chain made of reishi with small hooks on the end. She attacked with reckless abandon, it almost seemed suicidal. She lived up to her title, she screamed in rage, and the same emotion bubbled up within me. I started getting mad too. At the Quincy for what they did, at Yhwach, at her, but then I started getting mad at the Shinigami for retreating, at Rukia for dragging me into the supernatural in the first place, at the Captains for their failure, at my mother for dying, at my father for failing to save her. At that point I caught myself. I realized I had turned back and started walking towards the retreating Shinigami, with the intent to take out my rage on them. The ones nearby had fallen to the same effect, but hadn't been able to resist and started killing each other in blind rage. We were still in the Rukongai, so regular people were trying to attack Shinigami, as well as each other.

At this point I understood her ability. She could control and intensify emotions, and to an extreme degree, cause those affected to go mad. It could resonate between people as well, meaning the more people within the area of effect, the more intense and dangerous the ability became. Fighting her while trying to keep a lid on my own emotions was extremely difficult, but maybe it was the fact that I had Quincy blood, or my connection to Zangetsu, I was able to grasp a sliver of sanity. I'm not sure if many others would be able to resist it. I eventually managed to land a blow, a deep cut across her chest. What was suspicious was that she didn't block it this time. Didn't use Blut Vene to counter it. What she did was far worse. She used Vollständig.

Immediately, all the surviving people around me, Rukon citizens and Shinigami, fell to the ground, blood flowing from an identical gash in their chest. That led to a terrible realization. In Vollständig she wasn't just sharing emotions anymore, but also physical wounds. I needed to get her away from other people, and fast. Thankfully, since she seemed to use her own rage as a catalyst for her ability, her awareness wasn't all there, so I was fast enough to rip open a garganta and throw her through before she could do any more damage.

We continued to fight in the garganta, trading blows. She taunted me, saying that killing her would kill me as well, basically suicide. I had no reason to doubt that, but with less people around, her effect over emotions seemed to reduce, I assume because there was no-one for it to resonate with. Finally I was able to think relatively clearly. But thinking clearly didn't resolve the situation. She was clearly buying time, but I also couldn't let her go. I also couldn't kill her so the battle dragged on as I tried to find a way to something, anything. The time difference was ticking higher and higher, the longer I spent in here, much more was passing out there. I couldn't let this keep going. Then, finally, a plan formed in my mind.

It was simple, I jumped forward, opened a garganta to Hueco Mundo, and hit her with a Blut Arterie enhanced punch to send her through. Then charged a Gran Rey Cero. Fired it through and closed the garganta moments before impact. It worked to perfection. Because her ability was not targeted, but rather affected the area around her, sending her into a different realm caused the ability to no longer affect me. I went through after and confirmed she was dead.

Considering the fact that her ability nearly controlled me, if she had made it into the main part of our forces, the Gotei could have been wiped out then and there.

However I returned to find that the Quincy had used my absence to launch a full scale assault on our rear lines. I had arrived too late once again. Shinji had gone to repel the attack by himself. I tried to go after him, but it was too late. His reiatsu was already gone, and the Head Captain ordered me to stay in case another Schutzstaffel showed up.

It's a frustrating, helpless feeling that has become the norm recently. I understand the logic behind staying. I get it. But it doesn't make it easier. We just need to take it day by day.

The Head Captain says we're bound for Fake Karakura, and he plans to use that as our place to regather our force. Once we set up and get some fortifications together he said we can start counter attacking in places. It can't come soon enough.

While I'm staying with the convoy for now, Toshiro went to get Yuzu and Karin since I can't go to the World of the Living, and leaving them there is way too dangerous. Bringing them here is also dangerous, but at least I'll be able to protect them.

Protect them… All I seem to do is put them in danger. Looking back, I seem to put people in danger more often than I protect them. . . . .

I guess I should probably go to sleep. I'm still not sure about this whole journal thing. I guess writing it out was a bit therapeutic, but I don't know. I just need to face forward, like Old Man Zangetsu used to say.

Ichigo Kurosaki

July 11, 2003


Author's Notes:

My longest chapter yet, with a ton of stuff packed in. A new Sternritter along with the last bit of details about what happened with Yhwach and how everything went to hell. Hopefully this clarifies some power scaling points and answers some questions about where new Sternritters are coming from. Though other stuff was left vague on purpose.

Big thanks Crobatman, and although I had never planned for it, as a thanks for all your help, I had to give Askin a little spotlight. Originally it was just Jugram interfering with Ichigo, but honestly Askin's Gift Bad was the perfect technique to do so instead. Hopefully it wasn't too out of character for him to put in a bit of extra effort. He did want to see the world Yhwach would create after all. As for how, well, Quilge survived a hole in his chest while using Ransotengai, and Askin is much stronger than him and has a schrift that offers some level of healing.

Lastly, one question that might come up is about Ichigo's Quincy powers. Yes, he does still have them. I plan on writing a chapter from one of the defected Quincies POV (Bazz-B or Liltotto) to expand upon that a bit.

I've been focused on this chapter for a while now, I'm not sure what to do next. I have a notepad with like 20 chapter ideas on it, I just gotta flesh it out.

As always, thanks for reading!