Author's Note: Thank you very much to everyone that still likes/kudos/follows/reviews this long abandoned fanfic. I have an idea where I want to continue this fic but just like what happens to many people, I think, life gets in the way and/or ideas get stuck, or words just won't flow as nicely. I had many obstacles during the writing of this chapter. However, I hope I managed to adequately illustrate what I have in mind for this fic. Please enjoy.
The moment I made "what is right" as my ideal,
I got left behind
It made me unable to catch up
Inochi Bakkari - nulut feat. Flower, Yuzuki Yukari
"That new admiral, she is planning something."
"That Kudou is with her, it can't be coincidence."
"Why did you even let her man that base, Izumo? Were there no other candidates?"
"After Jiro's case, I assumed a woman can lower our loses from that base," Grand Marshall Izumo brushed his moustache, listening to all four of his Field Marshall's conversations. "Usually bases like that will require us to purge the entire base to curb the taint. I assumed putting a woman there would tone down the agitation and subdue the taint to save what was salvageable. So far, she has done it satisfactorily. To be honest, more than I expected."
"I believe it is undeniable that she has proved to be quite an adept admiral," Admiral Fukumoto added. "So far she has not done anything that may jeopardize our nation. I even seem to see she's just another good admiral growing, like Kudou-kun."
"You are always too lenient on the young ones, Fukumoto," Admiral Hirajima looked quite agitated. He folded his arms. "She is rising too fast. She must have something in her mind and I do not like that."
"Either that, or the other admirals have been underperforming," Admiral Harada said calmly. "Both of which are not good. We excused Jiro for quite long because we did not find anyone competent enough. Now we did, and it's a woman. That shows something about the state of our men at the moment, this cannot be okay."
Admiral Harada seemed rather neutral, albeit cautious, about their new rising admiral. Admiral Fukumoto appeared excited to see a good admiral in the making. However, Admiral Hirajima seemed to feel suspicious, in case Admiral Tendouji had anything up her sleeve.
"So you mean it was not that Tendouji is good in her work, it was that her male peers are not doing adequate work."
"Don't get me wrong, Fukumoto. I'd like to think she is exceptional, but you know I have been pushing for a better naval academy education. We should really evaluate how we raise our men."
"I think you have a point, Harada," Grand Marshall Izumo nodded. "I think we should talk about it once this campaign is over. For now, we have the large summer campaign to think of."
"That, I agree," Admiral Harada nodded. He turned at Admiral Hirajima. "What do you think about the proposal that Kudou and Tendouji brought up?"
"I think Tendouji might get the idea because of her own fleet," Admiral Hirajima furrowed his eyebrows. "I mean, look at her fleet. Her light fleets are high-level, which is why she came up with the idea. I do not like that."
"I agree that she might get the idea because her fleet is among the few capable of doing that," Admiral Fukumoto raised his shoulders. "But that's just how it is. We don't usually nurture our destroyers the way she does."
"Either way, we can use that to our advantage," Admiral Harada looked back at the Grand Marshall. "Let's see what her fleet can do without her. Let's test them to the brink. Then, we will know if the plan is sound. If it succeeds, I think it might be worth focusing on developing our destroyers."
"Good point, Harada," Grand Marshall ran his fingers over his smooth moustache as he nodded. "Let's test it out. Her destroyers are well-developed. It won't hurt much losing one or two destroyers anyway. She seems very capable of nurturing them, she'd be able to handle any loss if the plan were to go south. She could raise another fleet and we can facilitate her to have the better destroyers."
The Field Admirals nodded in agreement at his words. Admiral Fukumoto seemed a bit sad but he still nodded and smiled. Grand Marshall Izumo sighed deeply.
"Let's hope Hitosugi delivers. Whether Tendouji is shady or not is unimportant right now. We have her fleet and they are undeniably strong. What is more important now is victory."
– The Sunset –
"I believe you get it as well, Ai. They are looking for an opening to shoot you down."
"And my ships are my liability."
"Yes. Especially those ships."
It's rare to have Hakurei Kanon sound so agitated. Airi stared at the list she just received from the Yokosuka Headquarters. Most of her ships would temporarily be relocated. Most went to Admiral Hitosugi, the one in charge of the decoy and supply depot mission. Airi already knew this would happen so she was not as angry as she thought she would be, but there was this sense of something heavy falling to the depth of her stomach. Seeing the list of the girls that would go made her know that it meant more than simple relocations. The ships that were asked were not only based on utility, but ships like Ashigara and Haguro, for example, were assigned to different bases. It did not make sense for Airi. There must be something else.
Kanon visited her at the base right after Airi was back from the Yokosuka general meeting to collect the most recent data and told Airi about it before the summer campaign mobilization started. The scientist now had heard of everything and she was obviously pissed. She claimed the hypocrisy annoyed her the most, calling it 'an insult to intelligence'.
"They want to prove that your method is false. They want to see if you're the only one anchoring them. If they are proven right, your base is a hazard and they have every green light to put you down."
Kanon waved the papers filled with the Kanmusu data in her hand. She went and sat on Airi's wooden desk.
"They merely try to take your ships off you, to see if your ships hold on. They want to make it only between them and your ship, to see if your ships are usable without you. I am sorry, but I don't know the answer to that myself. It must be different for each ship. We can do nothing but gamble on your ships."
Those ships.
"They need proof that the formerly broken ships are useful and are not tainted. I simply worry if Ashigara or Shiranui would reveal anything. They are the most stable now based on this data but that is all thanks to your intervention. Do we know what will happen if they meet any triggers? We don't."
Kanon threw the papers she had in her hand onto Airi's desk. Airi stared at the lists of numbers in it but said nothing. Kanon sighed audibly.
"We just have to believe that they won't break."
XXX
The Kanmusu lists had been submitted, checked, and approved. All Kanmusu were ready to be mobilized, or at least most of them had. One by one, they left the base for the temporary base in the northern peninsula, Admiral Hitosugi's temporary base. After the first two operations were carried out, among them are siege operation to the supply depot and abyssal anchorage, they would be mobilized again to the captured anchorage and set up for the next operation, of which they were further moved north to the enemy's main force. Meanwhile, several other fleets would try to intercept the attacking force reported by the recon team which had closed in to attack the main land. Needless to say, every part of the operation was essential for their victory. And for that to happen, a large number of Kanmusus were required, especially the special utility ships. Many of Admiral Tendouji's ships, especially the destroyers, fit the criteria completely.
The first operation, the attack on the abyssal supply depot, was among the earliest fleet to be deployed. Thus, before the big ships, Admiral Tendouji already had to say goodbye and good luck to Asashio and Shouhou.
"Can't believe that I will be without the two of you."
Admiral Tendouji gave a sad smile. Before her were Asashio and Shouhou, both ready to get on the wagon to depart for the temporary station for the big operation. Since they would have to remain until the main operation concluded, they were the first to go and would be among the last to go home. Admiral Tendouji seemed really sad when she had to stamp the approval.
"Then after that, Kaga will go too," the Admiral made a long sigh. "What were they thinking really, asking for my secretaries like this."
"I know Ooyodo-san is very capable, but I have told Inazuma and Ikazuchi most of the procedures as well," said Asashio with reassuring voice. "I believe they can help you later, Commander."
"You did? You don't know how much that means to me! Thank you!"
Shouhou watched as Admiral Tendouji gave Asashio a big, warm hug. She knew both of them probably would love to have a more private moment (and they had since Shouhou knew Asashio spent last night in the Admiral's home) but there was no more time left. They had to depart soon. After giving Asashio a head pat, Admiral Tendouji moved to Shouhou.
"Well, the most important thing still doesn't change," she said sadly. She put a hand on Shouhou's shoulder. "It's not about the secretary job or whatnot. Both of you will be away. I will miss you both very much."
Before the light carrier could process what happened, the admiral pulled her closer and embraced her tightly. The admiral smelled like spring flowers, a fragrance that wafted gently without being too imposing yet relaxing and calming. However, the moment Shouhou realized what happened her heart felt like it wanted to jump out of her rib cage, her blood rushed so fast she basically stood rigid like a statue.
Her admiral was hugging her, tightly. Her admiral. Something beyond Shouhou's wildest dream.
The admiral gave her a gentle squeeze with her embrace. That broke her trance and before she could stop herself, her trembling hands rose and embraced her admiral back. Burying her head onto her admiral's shoulder, Shouhou could hear her admiral's very light, gentle delighted laugh. It was almost like… she was happy that Shouhou hugged her back.
The woman was warm, very warm. Shouhou knew her heart yearned for more.
"Please, come home safely."
The admiral said as she let her go. With a smile, she slipped something into the sash of Shouhou's kimono and then gave her a light, reassuring pat. What happened next turned into a blur, as Shouhou's head still processed everything that had happened, even if she managed to bow and salute to her admiral before turning back and went into the wagon with Asashio.
Inside the military wagon, sitting with the other Kanmusu, Shouhou finally took out the thing that her admiral slipped into her sash. It was a lilac-colored handkerchief with her name embroidered on one of the side. Bringing it closer to the face, Shouhou could still smell the admiral in it–her faint fragrance of spring flowers. She could also feel something was slipped between the folding. It was a piece of paper taken from one of Admiral Tendouji's frequently used notebook.
Good luck! Be careful and come back home safely. -Tendouji Airi
The moment she read it, her heart was flooded with warmth and at the same time, unbearable yearning. The Admiral did not sign it as "Admiral Tendouji", she signed it as "Tendouji Airi". She signed it as an individual, not the superior that she was. Shouhou tightened her grip on the soft fabric to contain the flood of emotions in her heart. It was getting so hard. It was getting so much harder to repress the extent of her feelings to her admiral now. Shouhou did not know what to call this mix of yearning, happiness, and admiration, but she knew 'devotion' would be amongst them.
She knew she would miss her base much more now.
"Oh, you got a handkerchief. Nice!"
Maya's remark from the seat right before her made Shouhou look up. Choukai sitting beside Maya appeared flustered, like she had failed from stopping her sister's loud remark.
"M-Maya! Um, Shouhou-san, she only…"
"I got this hairclip too!" Ignoring Choukai's words, Maya continued her talking. She showed a pretty sunflower patterned hairclip she kept on the flap of her uniform. "Nice, right? Man, I don't usually wear fancy things, but this look kinda cool, don't you think? Your handkerchief… Ugh, what is it, Choukai? You keep tugging me! You got something yourself, right?"
"N-No! I mean, yes, b-but that is not what I meant!" Choukai looked frustrated. Maya cocked her head to the side, not understanding her sister at all.
"Then what is it that you meant?"
"It's… oh, goodness, Maya…"
Shouhou could not help but chuckle. Maya always managed to brighten things… or screw things, depending on the moment. Hearing Shouhou's chuckle, Choukai made rapid apologetic bows for her sister's sake. Maya furrowed her eyebrows.
"What?"
"It's nothing," Choukai sighed audibly. She took out a piece of fabric from her glasses case. It was light blue and had her name on one of the side. "I got a glasses cleaning cloth."
"Oh, I remember you wanted one of those!"
"Yes, I think the Admiral caught me saying it as well. She is very thoughtful."
"Everyone got something, I think. Right?"
Maya turned to look at the others in the wagon. All kanmusu in the wagon–Asashio, Mutsuki, Suzuya, Shiranui, Kagerou–nodded. Kagerou folded her arms and said, "I think each of us got something different. That's pretty sweet."
"What did you get, Kagerou?"
"Eh? I'm not going to show you!"
"Tsk. Stingy!"
"I can at least kind of read the room."
"Hey, are you implying I can't?!"
Maya and Kagerou continued to bicker for a while, but Shouhou did not really catch their bickering. The light atmosphere their playful bickering created allowed her to drift back to her thoughts. She now could properly feel the softness of the fabric and absorbed the situation.
The Admiral gave them all something personally to keep as they went to another base. They most likely got a message with it as well. If Shouhou were to guess, the Admiral must have asked them all to get home safely.
She did not write "back to Aoya base". She said "Home".
XXXXXX
The base almost felt barren with most of the Kanmusu gone. Airi put on her white Admiral cap again after she had finished waving to the last wagon that departed and disappeared when it took a turn by the gate. The last ones leaving were the big ships. Airi knew Kaga would probably not spare a glance at her, but Kongou's "I WILL MISS YOU DESU!" echoed right when the car disappeared. She could only hope none of the storefronts near the base would file noise complaints.
Perhaps it would be the right time to fix some of the dormitories properly… but then it would be counted as extra expenses. Airi took a deep breath. Perhaps she should think about it later.
Summer made the air smelled like salted fish. Airi disliked that, she checked that as one of the reasons why she disliked summer. Kyoto city was far away from any beach so it was one of the first things Airi noticed during her academy year in the naval base by the coastal city Maizuru. It was also one of the things she hated right away about the summer sea, other than the heat. Another thing why summer sucks was that the daylight duration grew longer. Airi should agree that the sea provided the view of the sun whenever it was by the horizon. Aoya naval base faced to the west so they could see the sunrise but not the sunset as the sun set behind the mountain ranged in the east. With the daylight drawing longer, it was even harder to catch the sunrise. That kind of crossed out one of the very few things Airi enjoyed about the sea.
Standing by the port with the horizon blackening slowly, Airi felt like sighing. Now, most of her Kanmusu are away too. She suddenly felt like taking a long break, which obviously was not feasible. Almost deserted as it was, she still had work to do in this base.
"Hmm?"
She saw a figure, sitting by the edge of the port not so far away. A young girl.
With most of the Kanmusu gone, Airi had several names in mind who that could be.
"Anything bothering you?"
"C-Commander-san!"
Inazuma jumped at her voice. It seems she was just blanking out at the sea, staring into the distance. Inazuma fiddled with her fingers, her eyes darting to the Admiral then to the sea rather shyly. She looked nervous but not necessarily avoidant. Perhaps she needed time. That meant waiting was probably a good option/
"Can I sit beside you?"
"Ah, o-of course, Commander-san."
"Thank you."
With the sun low on the horizon, the heat got slightly more bearable. The concrete port was still quite hot when Airi sat on it though. Her butt kind of burned. How could Inazuma just sit there with that low skirt was beyond her, but it was no use dwelling on that.
Beside her, Inazuma was staring into the distance again. She was usually together with her sister, Ikazuchi, so it was strange seeing her alone like this. Asking where Ikazuchi was now did not seem like a good idea, though. It was not about Ikazuchi after all, it was about her.
Airi took off her cap and started fanning herself. Honestly, why should summer be this hot, humid, and salty? And what's with the smell of fish?
"C-Commander-san…"
"Yes?"
Inazuma looked beside her nervously, fiddling her fingers even more.
"A-Are you sure you're okay being here? Aren't you busy? Or… Or aren't you bothered with the heat?"
A kind girl as always. Airi smiled brightly.
"Well, it is a bit hot for me, but I don't mind. I want to be with you. Unless my presence bothers you?"
"N-No, I just…" Inazuma looked away, before returning to her again. "A-Are you sure it is me you want to be with?"
"Well, of course. Else, I wont be asking, right?"
"But… why…?"
"Because I want to…?"
"But I…" Inazuma bit her lips, trying to find a word to say. "But it's just… me?"
"Why "just" you?" Airi smiled kindly. Inazuma shyly looked away then fiddled with her fingers again.
"Because… because I am just… a destroyer. I don't even have any special utility, Commander. I… I am not that… important."
"Hmmm…" Airi folded her arms. She looked into the horizon. "Is that why you are here?"
Inazuma looked surprised. It seemed Airi hit the spot. She smiled and gave the young girl a gentle headpat. Inazuma kind of shrunk after her touch. She still fiddled with her fingers, but the tension on her shoulder seemed to have eased.
"Why do you always know everything, Commander-san?" She said, averting Airi's gaze on her again. Airi chuckled.
"I don't 'always' know, Inazuma. I just happened to guess right most of the time."
"It's… It's the same thing, Commander-san."
"It is not, My Dear. But that is beside the point now, is it?"
Inazuma's shoulder hung low again, knowing that she could not run away from the topic. She slowly rocked her body. The sun had now completely set on the other side, it seemed. The lamplight above them flickered and lit up. The private had finally switched the lamp on. Sea water lapped by the wave breakers below them. Despite the lamplight's help, it was too hard to really make out the details of everything by the edge of the water at this hour.
"If you don't want to talk, I am fine too, by the way."
Airi broke their silence after a while. Inazuma shyly looked up.
"Commander-san… Am I not a burden?"
"Why do you think so?"
"I mean, I…" Inazuma fiddled with her fingers again. "I am not… as useful as the others. I don't have any special utility. I… I even… um… broke your ribs… Commander-san."
"You're still feeling guilty about that?"
"O-Of course I am, Commander-san! You… You took so long to heal…"
"I am simply not a Kanmusu, it was not that much of a deal."
"But you were in so much pain."
"You didn't mean it, though. I don't mind."
"But…" Inazuma dropped her eyes to the sea again. "But I was, am, careless, Commander-san. I don't think I am as useful as anyone else nanodesu ."
Silence once again came between them. The sound of the waves felt a lot louder with none of them talking. Inazuma suddenly seemed to get something in her mind.
"Ah! But I don't mean I will not try my best! I will do my best in my sorties, Commander-san. I just… seeing everyone got mobilized, I just… I just wonder if I am useful… at all. I just…"
"You don't feel good enough to be here?"
Inazuma quickly looked up to Airi. It seemed once again, Airi guessed right. Inazuma bit her lips and slowly nodded. She returned to her fiddling with her fingers and averted her gaze again. Airi smiled, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"But you are. You are here. You are here because I need you here."
Inazuma did not answer. She did not look up to see Airi.
"Or do you not believe me? Maybe you think it is only because I am trying to be kind?"
Airi's words made Inazuma whipped her head to look at her superior in shock. She tried to voice something but did not know what to say. Airi chuckled, patting her head reassuringly.
"Inazuma. Who will I ask to do expeditions if you are not here? Or to patrol the waters?"
Inazuma still fiddled with her fingers.
"Who will protect the big ships? Protect them if they need to be escorted back?"
"C-Commander-san…"
"Inazuma, you may feel like you are not as useful as the others but that is not true. Everyone has a role to play. Yours is just as important."
Inazuma went silent.
"B-But… the other ships can… do… the same," Inazuma stammered. She still did not look up to meet Airi's eyes. "Asashio-chan can carry Daihatsu… Mutsuki-chan too… But I… I don't have any specialty, Commander-san. I don't think they would want to find a remodel for someone like me…"
Inazuma sighed at the end of her words. Inazuma and Ikazuchi never got their second remodels. Airi herself had been waiting but they did not seem to be among the priorities of the military at the moment. Airi let silence drowned Inazuma's words. She would rather not let it linger in the air. Once she felt like everything had settled, Airi broke their silence again.
"Inazuma, no one can replace you."
Inazuma bit her lips.
"I don't think as I am now, I am worth keeping, Admiral."
"But you are," Airi said gently. "Like I said, no one can replace you."
Inazuma still did seem to think that was so. Airi put one of her hand over Inazuma's fiddling hands.
"Tell me, then, who else carry your memories, if it is not you?"
The girl froze.
"Each one of you carries your own memories, harbors your own soul. You use that, all the time. Like the time you can remember a route no one else in the fleet does. Do you remember, Inazuma?"
It was a sortie to the South. Inazuma remembered within her preprogrammed memories, from the soul that she was made out of.
"That's why I need you. You. No one else. Every one of you has a role. As a destroyer… and as yourself. You're not useless. Never."
Inazuma slowly looked up, into Airi's eyes. She had tears in her eyes.
"So… I can be here, Commander-san?"
"Of course," Airi chuckled, brushing tears away as it fell. "I won't have it otherwise."
The destroyer slowly smiled. She nodded firmly now.
"I understand, nodesu."
Airi nodded back and patted her head gently. Being a destroyer was the most underappreciated role in the military rank at the moment. It was also among the reasons why Airi wanted to push for the regulation. It was always the destroyers who took the brunt of everything. They were used as dispensables and were never prioritized for development. It was not fair. Airi knew it was not the destroyers at fault. It was the ones who utilize them.
Seeing the smile back on Inazuma's face was such a relief. It did not suit the destroyer at all. Airi patted the destroyer again. The gesture, however, seemed to remind Inazuma of something.
"O-Oh! P-please don't tell Ikazuchi about this conversation, Commander-san. She would be… noisy."
Airi could imagine the ruckus if Ikazuchi knew. She chuckled.
"Leave it to me! Nanodesu! "
Seeing the phrase from Airi's lips made Inazuma's face reddened, visible even with the darkness of their surrounding. The lamplight did its job well.
"C-Commander-san!"
XXXXXX
… Sometime later, by the northern seas…
Night battle was not among her favorites. She even hated it. She remembered vividly of Yamashiro, Fusou, Michishio... everyone else who stayed behind her. Night battle brought out the worst of her. The Admirals saw that part of her. Shigure knew they utilized it well. Once night battle fell, she would not let any enemy get away.
"Enemy ship on bow side!"
Waves spread out as Asashio maneuvered away from the path of incoming shelling. The searchlight by her belt illuminated, shining over an Abyssal fleet of cruisers and destroyers. She flashed lights for her fleet to command them, then moved for a night battle preparation.
"Keep in line! Engage the enemy!"
As they started to exchange shots of shells, waterspouts started to burst around them. Ayanami released her shots and then changed directions, away from incoming torpedoes. Explosions echoed from afar, along with shrieks of abyssal destroyers. She got one of them. Behind her, shockwaves after shockwaves spread as her fleet started to fire. Asashio maneuvered among shells, still lighting up the enemy fleet with her searchlight and drawing the fires to her. This transport route should have been quite safe, but it appears the enemy had started to attack them from this side as well. Kagerou and Shiranui seemed to be doing well. Whereas Yamakaze...
"Yamakaze! Your portside! Look out!"
"Yamakaze!"
In one fast stride, Shigure was between Yamakaze and the shells... with depth charges in her hand. She threw them towards incoming shells and explosions lit up the sky above them as the depth charges blew up on impact. Shigure aimed at two heavy cruisers in the distance—clear as day under Asashio's searchlight.
Three consecutive shots. In the distance, she knew Kagerou maneuvered for a torpedo volley. One shell busted into a heavy cruiser's face, two others into another's body... and torpedoes' wake signalled their defeat.
"Torpedo hit!" Asashio's voice beat the sound of the far off shrieks and explosions. Firm, positive, energizing. Asashio's energy reverberated to them. Her voice urged them all "hang in there, it'll be okay" with how strong she called out to them. "Enemies eliminated! Good work, everyone!"
Such a contrast.
Such contrast with the girl by her heel at the moment. Trembling.
Shigure turned around to a figure that floated on the water's surface. Smokes wafted out of her equipment while her ripping clothes showed obvious wounds. She covered her head with both of her arms, crouching like she wanted to just disappear from that place.
"Yamakaze? Are you okay?"
There was almost no return from her little sister. Shigure knelt near her little sister and slowly extend her hand, touching the green haired girl's body gently. She could feel her trembling.
"Yama—"
"... I will go first, won't I?"
"Eh?"
Green eyes, dark without light around them, slowly looked into Shigure's blue ones.
"Will I be sacrificed...?"
"Blue fleet, continue to transport checkpoints. "
The voice of their commanding officer sounded almost bored in their communication device. Asashio sailed closer, beside her Kagerou, Shiranui, and Ayanami. Shigure met eyes with the others, who only silently returned her gaze. The second ship of the Shiratsuyu class extended her hand to Yamakaze.
"It'll be alright," She said gently. "We won't let him."
They were in this together. And all of them had a place to go home to.
Yamakaze finally took that hand and stood up, her sister quickly offered a shoulder to lean on. Shigure's own fairies jumped onto Yamakaze's parts and helped their friends putting out the fire by Yamakaze's engine. Shigure circled a hand around her sister's body and drew her closer. They still have a long way to go. Asashio assessed Yamakaze's condition briefly with a sweep of her eyes and nodded, before turning her back and continuing her sail. Shiranui gave a slight nod when she sailed pass, while Kagerou gave Yamakaze a pat on the shoulder. They all followed Asashio who sailed in front of them all–the blinking of her lights signalling their next destination.
Asashio reached for her radio, her eyes hard but brimmed with determination.
"Admiral. Blue fleet will continue to transport checkpoints."
"Good. Go on."
Their long, arduous mission had just begun.
- To Be Continued -
Author's Note: It was so hard to pick this up again after so long. Lately I also had started to play Kancolle again to keep my "Admiral feelings" up and boy, so many new mechanics! That said, I was reminded on why I love the game.
I also married new ships, so it makes me pretty happy.
