Bella dreamt of a store filled with candy. The scent filled her lungs, making her slightly dizzy from the haze of sugary sweet air around her. The scene was only blurred images around her, No sound, only the vague impressions of the room, the smell, and the cold. The chilled temperature was wonderful, like stepping inside an air-conditioned building in Phoenix on the hottest day of the year.
A knocking sound echoed through the surroundings, rattling the vision. "Bella?" A distant voice announced, as the shelves of brightly colored sweets began to melt into darkness. The cold feeling was abruptly gone, jolting her awake.
"Bells? You awake?" Charlie called, feet scuffling against the floorboards in the hallway.
Bella's eyes felt crusted over from sleep. Her response scratched against her throat, "yes."
"It's nearly 9, the service starts at 10:30," he coughed, "I'd like to get there early."
"Sure, sure," Bella said, blinking quickly to keep her eyes open. "I'm getting up."
"Okay." His footsteps retreated down the staircase.
Bella lost the battle with her eyelids, they drift shut. Her mind was struggling with something enormous. A life-altering paradigm shift that was just out of reach for her sleep-addled brain. Sleep tried to pull her under again, the responsibilities of the day quickly forgotten.
Something cold touched her cheek with the softest pressure. It felt so lovely, Bella relaxed against it and shifted further under the blankets.
"Oh, no," an angelic voice whispered, "wake up, Sleeping Beauty."
Bella groaned weakly. "Don't want to."
"You'll be upset with yourself if you don't go with him," Edward said softly.
"Hmm." Bella stretched, keeping her eyes tightly shut. "What if it was all a dream? Or I did drown…that would kill Charlie."
"I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare," Edward huffed, "But I can't imagine what you could have done to end up in hell."
"If I was in hell, you wouldn't be with me."
"Yes, I would. There isn't anywhere you could go that I wouldn't follow."
Edward's thumb stroked gently along her cheekbone. Bella finally opened her eyes and found his perfect face just inches from hers. His irises were pitch-black, with dark purple bruises under them, but his entire expression was so full of adoration for her that it distracted from the evidence of his starvation. A faint blush rose under the skin of Bella's cheeks.
"Did all of that really happen?" she asked, dazedly.
Edward nodded. "Yes. You jumped off a cliff. I nearly walked all of us into the jaws of death."
"How strange," She mused. "Now I've been to Jacksonville twice, but before that I'd never been further East than Albuquerque."
He rolled his eyes. "Maybe you should just go back to sleep. You're not coherent."
"I'm not tired anymore." Bella slowly sat up, her head rushing. "What time is it? How long have I been asleep?"
Edward's small grin made her heart race. "As Charlie said, it's nearly 9 o'clock. So, about fourteen hours."
She stretched as he spoke. A few of her joints popped, everything was so stiff. Her mouth tasted horrible, the disjointed memories of their journey home did not include brushing her teeth before bed. Edward perched at the edge of the bed. When she leaned over to put her head on his shoulder, he wrapped an arm around her waist. His sweet scent filled her lungs while the familiar burn flared in Edward's throat.
"Charlie's about to check on you again," Edward said reluctantly, "he's listening for signs of life."
Bella sighed and forced herself to get out of bed. She was still wearing the same clothes, they felt plastered to her skin. Edward stayed seated on the bed, his expression dazed with happiness as she put her hands on his shoulders. "Stay. I need to shower and brush my teeth."
"Yes, ma'am."
Bella retreated into the bathroom, carefully shutting the door behind her. The return to tradition made her entire body feel light with giddiness. She showered without washing her hair and scrubbed her teeth until her mouth felt sufficiently clean. Only then did she realize she had forgotten to grab a change of clothes, so accustomed to darting across the hallway in her towel, with no one waiting in the bedroom for her. Suddenly, her entire face felt hot. Briefly, she considered putting her soiled clothes back on, but they were damp from the steam of the shower and she hated getting dressed in the bathroom anyway.
Memories of their touches in the hotel flooded Bella's mind, her face heated. Never before had their kisses become so intense. Edward was always steadfast in his prudishness and dedication to control. The idea of a different sort of relationship between them made her stomach tightened. Bella tightened the towel around herself, splashed some cold water on her face, and took a deep breath. Don't be a coward, she told herself.
She found Edward in the same spot on her bed, halfway through Fungus of the World, Volume One: North America. He didn't look up as she entered and shut the door. "Your book collection has diversified significantly."
"Don't worry, I still love Heathcliff and Mr. Darcy."
"Thank goodness," Edward grinned. When he looked up at her, he froze. Only his eyes ran up and down her body, leaving a trail of heat across her skin.
Bella shuffled carefully over to her closet, and stared at her clothes. Of course, there was nothing appropriate for the occasion. The only new things she'd purchased recently were outdoor and work clothes, and she hadn't been to a funeral in over ten years.
Edward cleared his throat and said, "Alice brought you something, while you were sleeping."
"Oh, good," Bella said. He wasn't looking at her, still staring at the book clutched tightly in his hands.
Alice's bag included a pair of black tights and shoes, and a modest black dress. Edward turned himself to face away from her, so Bella dropped her towel and dressed hastily. The dress had cap sleeves, a high neckline, and the hemline came down past her knees. The silk fabric was beautiful, and it was expertly made, but when Bella looked in the mirror the beautiful dress made her eyes sting. There was no other occasion for such a garment, only a funeral.
Across the room, Edward heard the small hitch in her breath. A split second later, the salty scent of her tears filled the air, even before the first one rolled down her cheek.
"Love?" He murmured into her ear, standing behind her, staring into the mirror.
She looked his reflection in the eye and smiled sadly, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Sorry."
"No," he said, gently holding her by the hips, "cry if you want to cry."
Bella sniffled. "I think I just realized that he's gone…I knew him my entire life. I called him 'Uncle Harry' when I was little."
"I never realized you were close, I'm sorry," Edward said.
"It's okay," Bella shrugged, leaning back against his solid chest. "We weren't really, but I spent a lot of time down in La Push, umm, while…"
"While I was away," Edward suggested.
She nodded. "Jacob worked in his auto shop. I sometimes helped with the bookkeeping, Harry was terrible at it."
The statement left a suggestion of history that needed to be shared, but Edward let it pass without asking. No more tears came, which was a relief. Bella wanted to be there for Charlie, not fall apart herself. They stood for a minute, until their chests were rising and falling in unison. Bella closed her eyes and dropped her head back against Edward's shoulder. One of his hands moved from her hip to her elbow, gently turning her arm.
"What's this?" He asked.
Bella opened her eyes, and found his hand a few inches from her tattoo. Explaining the strange trance that had overcome her one Halloween and the euphoric sense of relief that followed was too daunting a task for the moment. She said, "My lion. He kept me company."
Her light tone did not reassure Edward, his face crumbled with anguish.
Bella turned around in his arms and put her hands on his cheeks. "Edward?"
"I thought I would have to beg on my knees for your forgiveness," he said. "But you're kinder than I deserve, as usual."
"Edward," she chided.
"No, please," he said. He cupped the side of her face, his liquid black eyes staring into hers. "Let me say this…The only reason I left is because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy life."
"I know."
"The things I said." He groaned. "I'll spend eternity earning your forgiveness."
"Eternity?" She said, hopefully.
"I think it's clear that I don't know how to live without you."
Bella let her hands fall to his chest, then pressed her nose into the hollow between his collarbones.
"I swear, I will never fail you again." His voice was thick with emotion, the sound of it made Bella's chest ache, already to exhaustion from the day ahead. One of his hands stroked her head, "I'm so sorry."
Bella tried to formulate a response, but Charlie interrupted from downstairs. "Bells, time to go!"
"Okay, one minute!" She called in return.
Edward took a half step backwards, his cool fingers gently straightened her hair. "Please be safe. Alice won't be able to see anything around the wolves and they make me nervous."
"I'll be sure to tell them that, they'll love it."
"Let me correct myself," he said, "your internal danger magnet makes me nervous."
Bella couldn't help but smile. "Go hunting while I'm gone?"
Edward's eyebrows drew together unhappily, "I'll be here when you get back."
"I'm counting on it." She touched the smears of purple under his eyes. "But I can't reintroduce you to Charlie when you look like you haven't slept in a week."
"I haven't slept in a century," he said grumpily. "You better go."
Bella nodded, and made herself walk towards the doorway. She looked over her shoulder as she opened it, and found the bedroom empty. The curtains swayed in the gentle breeze from the open window.
Downstairs, Charlie nervously adjusted the buttons of his suit. The sight sent another pang of grief through Bella's heart. The feeling stunned her, everything seemed so intense, like she'd only been operating at half-capacity and now the whole system was back online.
"Pretty dress," Charlie said gruffly.
Bella shrugged into her coat, the dark yellow looked ridiculous against the black dress. "Alice picked it out."
Charlie nodded.
They drove down to La Push in Charlie's cruiser. Bella wondered grimly if they'd be the lead in a funeral procession. The gray sky was heavy overhead, pinning them to the ground with the threat of rain. Charlie drove to the reservation's school, because their gymnasium was the only indoor space in La Push large enough to accommodate such a large crowd. Even arriving half an hour early, they had to park down the block and walk up the street.
Charlie straightened his tie nervously as they approached the wide doors. The scent of flowers filled the space, and Bella didn't realize her hand was shaking until she reached for one of the programs. Harry's face smiled back at her: Harry Clearwater, October 11, 1963 - March 24, 2007.
Bella held Charlie's hand as approached the group of people gathered around the casket, feeling all of seven years old again. She recognized Billy and Quil's grandfather. Sue sat between her two children in the first row, both of them with an arm around her. Sam was there too, hovering protectively over the family with a heavily pregnant Emily by his side.
When Charlie released her hand to shake Old Quil's hand, Bella waited. Her throat burned with unshed tears as she watched him clutch Billy's shoulder. She followed him towards Harry's body, surrounded by the pure white of his coffin and half a dozen enormous potted ferns. Her heart thudded painfully against her chest as she stared at his cold face. He did not look like he was sleeping peacefully, he just looked dead. His sun-kissed brown skin had an eerie paleness about it, devoid of all warmth. It was all so wrong, to see someone so vibrant and full of life lying utterly still.
Bella turned away. Her feet carried her forward until she was standing just steps from Harry's family.
"I'm so sorry for your loss," she said mechanically.
Sue nodded weakly, not responding. Seth offered a sad smile instead, "thank you. We appreciate you coming, Bella."
He sounded so much older than the last time Bella had spoken to him. All his boyish cheer was gone, leaving only a young man struggling to stand under the weight of an unimaginable tragedy. His nostrils flared. A look of disgust briefly crossed his face, before it disappeared behind a stony mask.
Face hot, Bella retreated. Thankfully, Charlie had already claimed a pair of seats a few rows behind the Clearwaters. He put his arm around Bella's shoulders when they sat, like he'd always done when she was little.
Bella stared at the funeral card until her vision blurred with tears. An entire life, summarized in a short paragraph.
The room quickly filled to bursting. A long line formed down the center aisle, members of the tribe and friends from all over the peninsula saying goodbye to Harry and offering his family their condolences. The string of black clothes made Bella very aware of her dress. The fine fabric that Alice had chosen just for her. Her stomach roiled at the strain of carrying such joy and pain in the same body.
A few minutes before the service was set to begin, Jacob moved across the room to his father's side, pushing his wheelchair into place behind Sue. A lovely woman followed closely behind, and sat next to Jacob. Bella had only seen her that one time on the beach, and then only in the dim firelight. But Agnes was very pretty, with soft waves in her onyx hair and thick glasses that somehow managed to look adorable. She leaned her head against Jacob's shoulder and he softly kissed her hair. Beside Bella, Charlie sniffed and tightened his arm around her.
During his eulogy, Old Quil told the gathering - now with dozens of people standing in the back - that they needed to keep things short, because the Mariners were playing and Harry wouldn't want us to miss the game. A wet chuckle rolled through everyone, but the service was short and sweet indeed. This was just for the general public, a private Quileute ceremony would take place that evening. Somehow, that eased the ache in Bella's chest slightly, that Harry's family would have a chance to say goodbye without so many eyes on them. Billy bent centuries of tradition for Charlie to be allowed to attend too.
When it was over, there was a rush of activity as tables and food were brought in. The casket was closed, but still occupied a centerplace in the room. Bella didn't bother getting herself a plate of food, though she hadn't eaten in nearly a full day. It was a nice tradition, this final meal with a lost loved one, but she had no appetite.
Charlie ate with Billy, Sue, Seth, and Leah, and Bella felt like she would be intruding, so she drifted away from the table. Across the room, she flipped through the displayed photobooks. To her surprise, she found a few images of herself, in the background of summer barbecues and shoved in with group photos of the younger generation at sports games or days at the beach. There were dozens of Charlie, as recently as a few years earlier, and faded images of three scrawny preteen boys on the back of a boat. She admired Sue's wedding dress and the way Harry had managed to carry Leah on his back and Seth on his shoulders simultaneously.
"Hey," a voice interrupted her viewing, gruff and sharp.
Bella turned to find Jacob hovering over her. His eyes were rimmed with red and bruised from exhaustion, his hair a mess. She responded tentatively, "hey."
"I didn't think you'd be here," he said.
"Harry was one of my dad's best friends, why wouldn't I be here?"
"The bloodsuckers turn up again, then you disappear. Can't blame me for making assumptions." His voice was thick with disgust.
Bella blinked. "Well, you were wrong."
"Of course," he said darkly.
"Excuse me?"
"I said," he enunciated, "of. Course. Of course you're back with him, even after everything he did."
"Don't start this here, Jacob, please," Bella begged.
His face rippled with anger. "You started it when you turned up on our land reeking of them," he hissed. "How much longer until it's your funeral I'm watching?"
Bella flinched. "Th-That's none of your business, Jake."
"The treaty says differently."
"My choice," she said firmly, "has nothing to do with you."
"Bella, they're not even alive!" There were angry tears in his eyes now. "Better you really be dead than one of them."
Her mouth fell open. Jacob's eyes widened as he heard his own words land like a bomb between them. Bella ground her teeth to keep her tears from falling, and was gratefully when Agnes suddenly appeared beside them. "Jake? Quil and Embry are looking for you."
The tension shattered between them, Jacob followed Agnes to where his friends were waiting for him. Embry and Quil nodded their greeting to Bella, but it didn't feel like an invitation for conversation or reconnection. Instead, she returned to where Charlie sat with Billy and the Clearwaters.
"Hey," Charlie said, his gaze shifting between her obviously upset face and Jacob.
Billy groaned. "I'm sorry, Bella. He's not himself, none of us have been sleeping much."
"I know," she said, "but I think I'm going to head home."
"You don't have a car," Charlie said, "I can drive you."
"No, no," she rushed, "Umm…I'll call Alice and have her meet me."
Everyone at the table except Charlie tensed at that, even depressive Sue. Bella quickly hugged Charlie goodbye, before anyone could ask questions, and left through the side door. It released her onto a sidewalk facing the ocean, as so many things did in La Push. There was no view, but she could hear the distant crashing of waves and smell the salt in the air.
Paul and Jared emerged a few moments later, looking nothing like the carefree men they'd been a few months earlier. As she walked away, she said over her shoulder, "don't worry, I'll walk."
The trek all the way back to Forks would have taken the entire day, but Bella figured she wouldn't have to walk far before someone in an expensive car appeared to rescue her. Just far enough to pass the invisible line of demarcation between the territories of enemy mythical creatures. She turned up La Push road a few minutes before the sky opened, a torrent of rain suddenly soaking her to the bone. Her feet were sliding in the fine leather of her shoes, so she pulled them off. The tights Alice had provided shedded between the gravel and her bare feet.
Bella had a ridiculous vision of herself. Trudging along the roadside, all in black, soaking wet, with her shoes in her hand. Like a ghost in a gothic novel. But the cold rain did help to clear her head. The sting of Jacob's words faded, leaving the sadness of shared grief. Harry had been like a second father to Jacob, especially since Sarah's death and Billy's injury.
With the all-consuming hole in her chest now gone, completely gone without a trace, Bella now felt the remembered pain of losing Jacob. That moment at New Year's had reignited the agony of losing Edward, but it was the old Jacob that Bella mourned now. The easy friendship of childhood, Jacob always so accepting of her quiet, cautious approach to life. And then, the warm companionship that had brought her through the darkest days of her life. She thought of the young, bashful version of Jacob that had spilled the secret about the Cold Ones and crashed the prom on Billy's orders. He didn't exist anymore, the hidden magic in the world transforming him into something else as surely as it had transformed the Cullens from human to vampire.
That transformation loomed for Bella too. Even without asking Alice, she knew it was as solid in her future as her next step. Edward would drag his feet, she knew, but she would convince him. Because what other option did they have? His alternative nearly killed them both.
Somehow, the road was completely clear for her entire walk. Everyone in town was back at the funeral. The trees shooting into the sky all around her were just waking for spring, their branches bowing from the weight of the rain. The sudden flash of rain calmed to a lazy drizzle, and the sky brightened as the clouds thinned. Her coat abandoned in Charlie's car, Bella shivered with cold, but then her path crossed a sliver of sunshine. It warmed her whole body as she closed her eyes and tilted her face towards the sky.
Bella knew she had reached the invisible treaty line, because there was a shiny silver volvo parked on the shoulder. Edward waited, rigid, until she was a few steps away. He moved too fast for her eyes to follow, crushing her to his chest. His cold body somehow felt warm against her sodden clothes. He pressed his lips to the side of her head, then stroked the damp sides of her face. Concern coated his angelic features, but all she could see was the familiar topaz of his eyes.
"Did you have a good hunt?" She brushed her fingertips across the cheekbones, her illusions really had been terrible compared to the reality.
"I hunted, but I certainly did not enjoy being away from you."
Bella grinned.
He loosened his hold on her and steered her towards the car. "You'll catch a chill."
The car's interior was very warm, and Bella immediately realized that it wasn't the same car. It was a slightly newer version, with a more advanced stereo system and the lingering scent of a new car. A calm piano melody drifted through the speakers. Edward settled behind the driver's seat and drove back to the Cullens' house with one hand on Bella's thigh.
Bella prepared for a wet run through the forest on Edward's back, but the long driveway had already been cleared. The exterior of the house looked as clean and beautiful as it had on the night of her eighteenth birthday. Edward parked in the garage, between the Jeep and Esme's SUV. Both of those, she was sure, were the same, only the Volvo had been replaced.
The door into the house swung open, revealing Alice. She was beaming from ear to ear. "I have some clothes for you!"
Bella smiled. "Thanks, Alice."
As they followed Alice inside, Bella left wet footprints across the floor. Esme interrupted them on their path to Alice's room. She looked entirely different from Bella's expectation. Her shoulder length hair was in two french braids. Instead of her usual refined outfits, she wore a faded pair of jeans and sweatshirt.
"Bella!" Esme cooed, dancing across the unfinished flooring towards them.
Bella sank into embrace, though Esme's usual sweetness was tinged with the scent of paint. "Hi, Esme."
"Are you hungry? Did you have lunch?"
"Not really," Bella confessed.
"She hasn't eaten since the flight from Amsterdam," Edward said.
Esme looked like she would faint from worry, she patted Bella's cheek and said, "I'll go make you something. I went shopping this morning."
"Thank you."
Esme smiled as she headed to the kitchen while the others headed upstairs.
The house was in a state of upheaval. The living room had been cleared of all furniture and the subfloors were exposed as they replaced the clean white tile with rich hardwood. In several places, someone had ripped large strips of sheetrock from the walls, leaving holes. On the second floor, the art pieces still leaned against the walls, covered with bubble wrap. Channels of fresh drywall ran along every wall, waiting to be repainted.
Alice's bedroom had been entirely redesigned. Fitting with her vision for the house, the windows now occupied an entire wall. The bedding and furniture and rug all created a feeling of connection with the forest outside. Like they'd all worked together to make this little oasis of calm. The bathroom was the same clean white marble, which Bella actually found comforting.
Edward and Alice waited outside while she changed clothes, leaving the damp blacks in a pile in the bathtub.
"Can I brush your hair?" Alice asked when she emerged.
"Sure." It was a mess, blown into tangled by the wind and rain.
Alice smiled and patted the edge of the bed. Bella sat down, facing the windows, with Alice behind her and Edward at the little seating area in front.
"Where's Jasper?" Bella asked as Alice began at the ends of her hair.
"Downstairs."
Bella blinked in confusion.
"He didn't know if you would want to see him," Edward explained.
"Me?" Bella asked. "Why?"
Edward raised an eyebrow.
"Oh," Bella said dumbly, realizing. Hot blood rushed to her cheeks. "That wasn't his fault, I'm not mad."
"So forgiving, as always," Edward sighed. His tone was serious, but his face was content.
"There's nothing to forgive."
Edward hummed, not looking like he agreed. But a few moments later, Jasper quietly entered the room and settled in the chair beside him. His normally stoic facade was interrupted by his efforts to avoid her gaze, though he still stared at Alice as much as he could. His twitching embarrassed Bella, so she closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the hairbrush running along her scalp.
"You need a trim," Alice said seriously.
"Okay."
Alice brought her into the bathroom and sat her in front of the mirror. She brushed out a lock of Bella's hair and held the ends between two fingers. "Look, this is all split ends here."
"I always wear it up for work anyway." Bella shrugged.
"Oh, Bella," Alice sighed.
Small pieces of hair began to drift towards the floor, until it was covered in brown curls. When Alice finished, the change was barely noticeable. Only slightly shorter, but the gentle waves looked lighter and softer. When Edward saw her, he used both hands to brush the strands behind her ears then held her face. "Beautiful."
Bella touched her lips against his, his cold skin searing hers. She wanted to wrap herself around him and never let go, but she was too aware of Alice and Jasper with them in the room.
"Your lunch is ready," Edward said, his lips still close enough to feel his breath.
The kitchen looked exactly as Bella remembered, sleek and white with enormous windows. Esme set a bowl of pasta in front of Bella as she sat in her usual seat. The smell made Bella's mouth water.
She hummed around her first mouthful of food. "Yummy."
Esme leaned over the counter and beamed at her. "I'm glad you like it. The kitchen was mostly unharmed. Unlike Edward's room."
"What happened?" Bella asked. "I saw some of it with Alice but it was dark."
"Water damage, rats chewing the electrical, rot beneath the roofing." Esme shrugged, like these were just minor inconveniences, something to fill the time. "And I wanted to decorate."
Bella only nodded in response. After watching a few more bites, Esme drifted out of the room. The distant whirring of power tools drifted through the house. Edward plucked a lock of hair from her shoulder and twirled it around his finger. While she ate, Edward detailed the damage that had been done to his bedroom. A leak in the roof had caused a collapse in the ceiling. Several animal residents had moved in quickly. The floors were rotten all the way through and the windows nearly shattered. All of this, he explained without any sense of stress. "Esme already has some nice ideas."
The meal was delicious, and as it settled in Bella's stomach, it seemed to warm her all the way through. They retreated to the covered portion of the balcony. Edward produced an electric blanket from somewhere in the house, and wrapped it around her before pulling her against him. Her head lolled against his chest and his hand gently stroked her hair as they watched the trees sway in the gentle breeze.
"Bella?"
"Hmm?"
"What happened in La Push?" He asked gently.
Bella cringed, remembering Jacob's cruel words. Their relationship felt like a looming cloud that Bella couldn't escape. She swallowed. "Nothing really, Jacob was upset. He said some things he didn't mean."
"Jacob Black?"
She nodded. "We, um…went out? For a few months?"
"I know," Edward said. Bella stared at him questioningly. His lips pulled into an unhappy imitation of a smile. "Charlie was thinking about it this morning. Worrying that you would be uncomfortable seeing him again, with his new girlfriend."
"Oh," Bella said, "Charlie always worries."
Edward chuckled darkly. "I do too, when you walk two miles barefoot in the rain."
"Maybe that was a bit dramatic of me."
"You were upset," Edward said. He didn't want to force the story out of her, but his curiosity burned behind his words.
"Jake's grieving. I know he didn't really mean it. And apparently I turned up smelling like a vampire."
"What did he say?"
"He asked how long until it was my funeral." Bella sucked in a breath, "And said I'd be better off dead than…like you."
Edward was too still, controlling the reaction he didn't want Bella to see.
"What?" She asked.
"It's nothing."
"Please, tell me."
"It might make you angry," he warned.
"I think I can handle it."
He sighed. "I could quite literally kill him for saying that to you. I want to."
"Good thing you have such excellent self control," she said, pressing a kiss to his jaw.
"I could slip," he said thoughtfully.
Bella rolled her eyes and snuggled closer to his chest. A cold gust of wind rattled the forest, but she was warm and safe in his arms. Time passed faster than she could follow, with her lullaby rumbling from Edward's chest.
"What happened to my CD?" She wondered aloud.
"CD?"
"My birthday present."
"I'll show you this evening, in your room," he said.
Bella nodded in acceptance, but the suggestion kept needling at her brain. Less than ten minutes later, they returned to Edward's car and made the drive back into town. Charlie still had not returned from La Push, and the empty house felt unnaturally still as Edward led Bella up the stairs. He gently pulled up a floorboard along the far wall of her room, and there was all the evidence of her disastrous eighteenth birthday.
The papers from Esme and Carlisle were covered in dust. Bella cleaned them off and reread the fine print. The vouchers were long since expired, but they still brought a strange warm feeling to Bella's chest. The photos were there too, Bella stared at them. She remembered the day after her party, looking at those photos. Edward before and after the catastrophe. Even now, the difference in his face shocked her. The CD case opened with a soft click, but Bella just confirmed that the disc was safe inside. She didn't think her heart could take the strain of listening to the music again, not today.
Edward watched nervously while Bella drifted from one memory to the next. She knelt on the bed and spread everything out in front of her. Once each item had been examined carefully, she looked at him and asked, "why did you leave all of this?"
"I wanted to preserve some evidence of…us, I suppose. Looking back, that probably should have been a clue that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. But I think I started going insane the second Jasper lost control. My mind wasn't right again until you found me on that beach."
Bella nodded in understanding. "Me too. At least, I think even at my worst, some part of my subconscious knew you still cared about me. That would explain the voices."
There was a very deep silence for a moment. "Voices?" He asked flatly.
Bella shifted, wishing she hadn't brought it up. "Just the one. Yours. It's a long story."
He waited.
"Well, you know about the cliff jumping," she started.
"Yes, Alice explained your new interest in extreme sports."
"Er, right. And before that with the motorcycle–"
"Motorcycle?" He said, something brewing behind his voice.
"Well, um…I found out that when I was in some kind of danger, I could remember you better. I heard your voice. It sounded just like you when you're angry with me for being reckless. Even at first, when I tried not to think about you, this didn't hurt. It felt like you were protecting me again." She swallowed. "And then, later, I was so terrified to forget any little detail."
"So…you…" his words came out half-strangled, "risked…your…life–"
"Shh," she interrupted.
Edward remained still as a statue when Bella leaned forward. She put her fingers over his mouth to stop his panic from spiraling. His eyes bored into hers, something hot swimming in the deep golden pools. She felt his jaw flex under her hand as her breath fanned over his face. She brushed her nose against his and said, "please, only happy thoughts for the rest of today. The rest can wait for another day."
He nodded minutely, his lips pressed a kiss to her fingers. She shifted her hand to his cheek, then his jaw and into his hair. The familiar electric current sizzled between them, thrumming through both of their bodies. Edward felt the pulse of her wrist against his face, the steady beat of her heart a gentle hypnosis. His eyes drifted closed as her fingers twisted into his hair. The burning in his throat presented no temptation, it was his surest reminder that Bella was living and breathing beside him.
"Do you know where this is headed?" She asked.
"Yes," he said, thinking of Bella pale and cold, her brown eyes exchanged for newborn red. Alice saw no other alternative now, all of his efforts were fanciful. But the idea no longer repulsed him. "I'm as selfish as ever."
"Good," she said, smiling.
"If you could have anything in the world at all, what would it be?" He asked.
"You."
"Something you don't already have."
Bella considered. "I want you to be the one to change me, not Carlisle."
She braced for fury, the Edward she'd known before would have torn his own head off before ending her human life with his own hands. But he only stroked her cheekbone, a small smile lifting his lips, "What would you be willing to trade for that?"
Bella blurted, "anything."
Edward leaned forward and pressed his lips to her temple. "Five years?"
"That's too long," she whined.
His cold exhale made her shiver as his lips moved across her cheek to the hollow beneath her ear. "Three?"
She scoffed.
"You're so stubborn." He kissed her throat, the blood pulsed against his lips.
"What are you waiting for? I'm not gonna change my mind."
"Fine," he sighed, moving to the other side of her neck. His lips were cold and gentle, but somehow still sent fire down her spine. "Then I just have one condition."
"Let's hear it," Bella breathed.
Edward smiled against her skin. "And then forever."
She nodded, staring into his eyes with her pupils blown wide. He brought his face a few inches from hers, their breaths interweaving. "Marry me, Bella."
