Bella's Point of View
For a moment, it felt like all the air was taken from the room. It began to get difficult to breathe. Seeing my mother again, after everything that happened, was far more uncomfortable than I had thought. What small connection I felt for her in the past, was withered away completely. Even as she stood in front of me, sobbing, I felt nothing. No pity. No remorse.
She stepped towards me, with open arms. An attempt was made to hug me. But I backed away, putting distance between us. I held up a single hand.
"Don't," I replied callously.
My mother paused; pain reflected in her eyes. "P-please Bella, you are all I have left. Please let me hug you for just a second."
I shook my head stubbornly, noticing a few people turned to glance in our direction. It was beginning to get quiet, conversations paused to watch us.
"I don't want to hear this right now. We will talk later." I turned away from her, moving to focus my eyes on Ana's body. I leaned in, lightly touching her cold hand. I wanted to appear heartbroken and overcome with grief. But my mother's presence ruined that. I was just angry.
Edward held his hand out to my mother as I moved past her. She took his hand, shaking it slightly.
"You are… that boy… Bella's boyfriend, right?" She sniffed, wiping at her face.
"Edward," He nodded with a serious look. "Nice to see you again. And actually, we are engaged now."
"How wonderful," She responded in a hollow voice. "I owe you an apology, for my actions around Christmas. I wasn't myself."
"No need for an apology." He said, moving past her as well to follow me closely. His eyes swept over Ana's body briefly, before carefully offering her a silent prayer.
"I realize you have helped my family a lot. I do appreciate you taking care of my Bella. And trying to help Ana as well. It's an honor to have you join our family." My mother continued.
"I only wish I could have done more." Edward responded.
Now, Jacob and Ana moved to the casket. Ana seemed lost in thought as she stared at her own lifeless body. I could see that she was starting to feel overwhelmed. Her shoulders trembled as she averted her gaze from the casket. I'm sure this was so strange for her. Her body had failed her. But her soul lived on in another body. It was hard to wrap your head around this. I worried about how she would react to all of this.
"I don't recognize the two of you. Where you friends of my Ana?" My mother responded as they stood in front of her.
"We are Bella's co-workers. Mostly here to show her our support. But we met Ana briefly. She was a wonderful girl." Jacob spoke for the both of them. Ana was still at a loss for words.
My mother nodded her head with a glum look. "I'm glad my daughter has such nice friends. Thank you for coming." For a second, she glanced at Ana.
Ana moved without much thought and wrapped her arms around our mother. Hugging her tightly. She buried her face in her shoulder. "I'm so sorry."
There was a short pause, as a startled look came to my mother's face. But she hugged her back tightly as she began to sob again. "And what is your name?"
"I am Zara, it's..., very nice to meet you. Uhm, I'm sorry for your loss." Ana spoke, her voice thick with emotion. Ana released her, but my mother held onto her.
"You remind me of her, my little girl. It almost feels like she is inside of you." She said softly, lifting a single hand up to dry the tears from her face. "I know that sounds insane. Sorry, we just met and I'm being so strange. You're one of Bella's co-workers, right."
Ana nodded, offering a small smile. "Bella is like a sister to me; we are very close. So, I had to come and show my support."
"I really appreciate it." Finally, my mother let her go. "After meeting you, I feel a little better."
Now that we had all made it past my mother, we quietly went to a less occupied space within the room. The line of people keeps moving, everyone continued their quiet conversations, some moving to console my mother. There was soft music playing in the background, a piano piece. It was solum and offered just a slight distraction. I knew this was nothing my sister would have wanted. She was such an outgoing person and very upbeat. She wouldn't want such a bleak funeral.
"This is a bit depressing, isn't it?" I commented as Ana moved to my side. She had a forlorn look on her face. She twisted her fingers through her dark hair as she scanned over the room. Edward and Jacob watched over us closely.
She nodded with a heavy sigh. "It is, I feel so bad. Mom is really falling apart, isn't she."
Why would she even worry about that?
"She'll manage. Honestly, we are lucky she is in custody. Or she would be passed out drunk somewhere. Instead of here, honoring your death."
"Not everyone copes with things well Bella. She really doesn't know any other way. I wish you weren't so hard on her at times. We both know she wasn't a good mother. But she is still the only mother we have. We can forgive some of the things she has done. Can't we?" Ana muttered with a slight frown.
"She isn't my mother at all. You're the one that told me that, remember? I'm not even sure if my real mother is still alive. So…"
Ana chewed her lip, anxiety covering her face. "I shouldn't have even told you. I wasn't supposed to. I knew it was a mistake. You don't even see her as family now, do you?"
I shook my head. "Not at all, I never really did to begin with. We never really had much of a relationship anyway. But actually, it's a relief that we aren't actually family."
"Do you feel the same way about me? Are we not family anymore?" I saw the hurt on her face.
"It's different with us, you are my sister. Blood or not. That's never going to change how I feel about you." I said, pulling her in for a hug.
She allowed me, holding onto me tightly. "Good, because I don't think I could handle living like this, without you. I mean… I'm actually dead. But I'm alive. This isn't exactly easy for me. I'm confused. And a little scared."
"I know," I stroked the back of her head. "I'm here for you, always and forever."
This seemed to put her mind at ease. She calmed down. We settled into more casual topics. A few out of town family members stopped over to talk, share their condolences and pry as much as they could into my personal life. I didn't offer many details; I kept things vague and open for speculation. I wasn't comfortable talking about my pregnancy, I haven't made an announcement for it. Having a baby before marriage was regarded as a taboo in this area. I'd be labeled a whore. It would bring disrespect to my family name. And I didn't want to make things any more difficult for Uncle Charlie. He was already going through a lot. I wouldn't cause him any more trouble.
So, I kept things simple. I worked for a business in the city. I was engaged to Edward, without a set date for a wedding. And for now, I had no plans on moving back to Plum or seeking any higher education. I was happy, content with life and just working through my grief of losing my little sister. Everyone I talked with seemed to easily accept everything I said. They didn't question anything or dig too much deeper for details.
As the viewing began to wind down and less people were lingering, my mother approached the group of us, with her guard right behind her. The burial would take place in another half hour. Then, we could finally leave. She looked exhausted, her face was completely flushed.
"Are you sticking around for the burial?" she asked, taking a seat down next to me.
"Of course I am. Why do you think I'm still here?" I muttered, avoiding eye contact with her.
"Bella, I know that we haven't always had the best relationship, but I am working on myself. I'm seeing a therapist in prison. He is wonderful and has helped me process my feelings. I realize I've been an awful mother. But I'd like to change that." She started, anxiously picking at her lip.
"Good for you. I hope you get your life together. Truly. But I still don't want any part of you in my life. The damage is done." I meant every word.
"That's really not fair." There was an edge to her tone.
"Neither is lying to me for my entire life." I shot back, glaring openly at her.
"What in the hell are you talking about?"
I folded my arms across my chest. "Ana told me your little secret. It was one of the last things she said before she passed. That I'm adopted."
At my words, my mother's eyes widened, panic and alarm colored her face. "So that's what you're pissed about? Listen, that doesn't even matter. I might not have given birth to you, but I've been your mother since the very beginning. You. Are. My. Daughter."
"You gave me a place to live, clothes on my back and a full stomach, but you have never been my mother. You were never affectionate. Never compassionate. Never showed any interest in me. Once Ana was born, I was cut off completely. If it wasn't for dad, I would have moved out of the house a lot sooner." I admitted, shrugging my shoulders.
"You didn't need me. Your father worshipped the ground you walked on. He spoiled you rotten. I thought you would turn into a complete brat if I didn't treat you that way. It wasn't because I didn't love you." She defended, lowering her head. "I realize that wasn't the right thing to do. But I had no idea how to raise a child. This was how my parents acted towards me."
I didn't want to hear her explanation. I didn't care. In this emotional state, reason and logic escaped me completely. I was furious. I wanted to be furious. I wanted to yell, scream and make my mother feel as much pain as possible.
"I'm more interested in hearing about my birth parents. Tell me everything you know."
My mother paused, her eyes dancing from me to the others. I could see the reluctance, pulling at her brows. "Your father was working in the coal mines with your Uncle Charlie. It was the only kind of work he could find at the time… we hadn't started the farm yet." She paused, taking a shaky breath. "A bad storm rolled in and the mining shaft collapsed, sealing a few of them in for a little while. Your father fell to the very bottom of the shaft. That's… were he found you."
I raised a brow, narrowing my eyes at her. "You expect me to believe that? I was just laying at the bottom of the mine shaft."
"It sounds outlandish, but it's the truth. Head back to the house. In your father's old office. There is a box. Inside it is everything that was found along with you. You were wrapped up in blankets, in a basket. There were a few other objects in there… but we weren't sure what they were. We never found out who your birth parents were."
"So, they just abandoned me at the bottom of a mine shaft? How is that even possible?" I shook my head, trying to wrap my mind around this story. It didn't make sense. How would someone safely enter a mine shaft, with an infant, travel down to the very bottom and place me there. What if I would have died? Was that the purpose of me being put there? It had to be. So, my birth parents didn't want me either. I had hoped they had passed away, forcing them to give me away. But this was even worse.
I don't know why but knowing this made me feel even more sad. I felt my eyes stinging with tears.
"Sweetheart, I don't know how or why you were down there, but your dad got one look at you and fell right in love with you. He brought you home. And finally, our family felt whole. You became our daughter. Our precious first daughter." My mother said softly. She reached out, touching my shoulder briefly.
I allowed her touch, but didn't react to it. I felt numb. Not even her words could reach me now. I felt like I was sitting still, while the rest of the world spun out of control around me. There was a heavy feeling in my chest. And a faint ringing in my ears.
"Yeah," I responded despondently.
Edward returned, he had gone out to take a work call and instantly came to me with a concerned look. He sat on the other side of me and pulled me in close. "Are you alright, what happened?"
"I'm fine,"
He looked to my mother, raising a brow. "What was said?"
"Well, I told her about the day we found her. Abandoned in a mine shaft. Maybe… now wasn't the time to bring it up. I'm sorry dear. I didn't think this would hurt you." She said with a sad glance.
Edward lightly stroked my back. "Do you want to leave?"
I shook my head. "Not yet, after the burial."
My mother stood now, taking a few steps away. "Again, I'm really sorry I didn't say anything about this until now. I was worried you would end up hating us. Or we would end up losing you… that you would leave to go find your birth parents. It was selfish…"
I just bobbed my head, still barely listening.
Edward cleared his throat. "Was anything left behind, maybe a hint of why this happened?"
"There are a few things back at the house. There was a little gold bracelet around her wrist. It had a name engraved on it. But I can't recall what the name was." My mother turned, just as the funeral director waved at her, signaling it was time for the burial. "Excuse me," She said, before walking away from us. Her guard eyed me for a moment, with just a trace of pity, before following her.
I lowered my head, allowing a few tears to escape. It had taken a toll on me to hold back all the emotions that I was feeling. Everything came out at once, like a waterfall. I hid my face in Edward's shoulder, clinging to his warm embrace.
Why was this so… heartbreaking?
He held me close, planting kisses at the top of my head. "It's alright Bella, before making any assumptions, we should investigate a bit further. It might not be what you think."
"I don't even want to know anything else. What more can be said? I was thrown away to die."
Edward sighed. "Honestly, I don't think that's the case. There is more to this story. Something your mother still isn't saying. It's a feeling I have in my gut. Please, trust me. After the burial… let's investigate this a little further."
"Alright," I gave in. Unwilling to fight with him. Maybe he was right. But I couldn't consider it any other way at this time. I was overwhelmed by my own emotional turmoil.
Ana and Jacob kept their distance as everyone was moved outside to the burial plot. The crowd had dwindled down to just a few people. A few words were spoken as the casket was closed and Ana's body was returned to the Earth. Gentle music played in the background. A final goodbye. Apart from our group, there wasn't a dry eye to be seen.
Next to our father's grave, Ana was put to eternal rest. Seeing his headstone only deepened my sadness. It's been years since I've visited him. I felt guilty. I wanted to bring Edward here, to introduce him, in a way, to my father. The two most important men in my life. I think my father would have loved Edward.
Uncle Charlie, Aunt Lucy and the boys came over to me, when the burial ended. Scottie, the youngest; had his eyes transfixed on his cell phone. Daniel, the oldest, offered each of us a rough handshake. And the middle boy, Matthew hung close to his mother, offering her tissues and keeping a hand on her.
"You're welcome to come to the house, we are going to have a big meal, in honor of lil Ana." Aunt Lucy sniffed, wiping her eyes with a tissue. "It's all her favorites."
"As much as I'd like to, I have to head back to the city. They only gave me today off." I lied smoothly. It wouldn't be a good idea to linger any longer here. Where even I was, those around me would become a target. I wouldn't allow anyone else to become tangled in this supernatural world. Ana had paid the price for being around me. She was lucky enough to be marked, that's the only reason I didn't lose her completely.
"That's a damn shame. But we understand. Your work is important. Gotta make a living." Uncle Charlie spoke up with a sad smile. "Just remember lil brownie, you are family. If you ever need us, you have a home to come back to."
His words cheered me up a bit. He reminded me so much of my father. It was always a comfort to be around Uncle Charlie. I truly did wish we could stay a little longer. But this was for the best.
"I did want to mention, I know this isn't really the time or place, but I am engaged now. So, I was hoping, when the time comes, you will come to our wedding." I said, feeling a bit coy.
Aunt Lucy gasped, taking a few steps forward. "Engaged? That's wonderful, let me see the ring dear. Don't be shy. Let's have a look." She was thrilled.
I held my hand out, revealing the gorgeous ring. Everyone circled around to look at the ring, even the boys.
"Beautiful," Lucy nodded with a wide smile.
"It's black." Scottie said with a raised brow, looking between me and Edward. "Is it supposed to be… like… gothic?"
Uncle Charlie gave him a swat on the back of the head. "Quiet boy, a ring is a ring. Doesn't matter the color."
The other boys snickered, watching the youngest of them get scolded.
"A black diamond is unique, it's thought to represent strength, resilience and personal transformation. I thought it perfectly suited Bella." Edward said with a king smile.
"How romantic, that's just lovely. I'm so happy for the both of you." Lucy said cheerfully. "It's nice to have a glimmer of joy today. Of course, we will be there for your wedding."
"Do you think they will let Aunt Renee out for the wedding?" Scottie asked, turning to look in my mother's direction. She still was standing at Ana's grave. Crying quietly. Her back was to us. But I could see her body shaking as she sobbed.
"I hadn't considered inviting her." I muttered.
Uncle Charlie shook his head in disapproval. "Now now, don't be like that. She isn't perfect. Hell, your mother is as far from perfect as possible. But… we are family. Like it or not. Our family is messy, sure. We are loud. And a bit dysfunctional. However, no matter the distance, or the fights… we will come together when it counts and be there for each other for all the ups and downs."
Uncle Charlie always had a strong opinion of family. It was exactly how my father was. So, I wouldn't be able to argue with him. Instead, I let that topic of discussion drop. Surely Uncle Charlie knew I wasn't a blood relative either. Since he had been there, when my father found me. I wondered what he might know about it.
But I didn't have the heart to ask. I wasn't sure if I could emotionally withstand anything more. Instead, we said our goodbyes and parted ways. I decided not to speak with my mother again. I turned my back, even as she was calling out to me. I didn't want to hear anything else from her. I got the information that I needed. Now, I can cut ties completely. Without needing any further closure. I wished her well. But from this point on, she would be a stranger to me.
Once we all returned to the car, there was a brief period of silence. Maybe no one knew what to say. That's how I felt. There were no words. In fact, as Edward drove, the only one to speak was him and Jacob. Ana faced the window, staring out it with a bleak look on her face. I didn't bother asking her what was wrong. I'm sure she was feeling a little sad. She didn't get to interact much with our mother, and she probably had more to say. This likely would be the last time she would get to see her. Instead, I listened to the other conversations.
"It sounds like they are needing us back at the office." Jacob commented casually.
"Alice has it under control. She can handle things until we get back." Edward answered.
"Are you sure, your sister doesn't seem like the kind of person that can peacefully resolve issues."
Edward shrugged his shoulders. "She wanted this position more than anything, if she can't handle this. I'm sure the grim will most likely demote her."
I wonder what they were talking about. But I didn't have the energy to even ask. If it was important, I'm sure they would fill me in with the details if the time came for it.
"Aren't you worried? I mean, you're the boss of the company, if she fails, doesn't that get held against you as well?"
"I couldn't care less. There is a more important task we need to do here."
Jacob snorted, folding his arms across his chest. "What is this important task?"
"We are stopping over to Bella's house. There may be some clues to her birth parents there. After we collect that, we will head back to Boswell."
"Are you sure this is something she even wants? Or are you just being an insensitive ass?"
Edward clicked his tongue with an annoyed look on his face as he looked at Jacob in the rearview mirror. "Keep your snarky comments to yourself."
"It's fine, we might as well get it over with. So, I don't have to come back to this town ever again." I muttered, mostly to myself. I wasn't sure that I really did want to know.
Ana made a noise in the back, something like a huff. "That's so like you. Willing to leave your family behind forever. Turn your back and just run away."
I sharply turned back to meet her eyes. We glared at each other for a moment.
"That's not what I'm doing." I said heatedly.
"Oh really? What do you call it? Because you are still alive, you have family that love you and want you to come around. I'm just a stranger to them. If I could, I'd come visit them as much as possible." She snapped.
"Well, I can't do that. Don't you realize, if I come home to visit, I'll be putting them all in danger. Why do you think you died? Because of me. Because a bad person wanted to hurt me. So, they used you as a means to do that. I'm not about to let that happen to the rest of the family."
Ana hung her head, deflating completely. She went quiet for a moment. "So, you're trying to protect them? I'm sorry Bella, I didn't realize."
"I've never left the family because I wanted to. You realize that right? I never wanted to leave. I did because I was trying to save your life. I wanted to stay in Plum and live a peaceful, simple life. Surrounded by family. But now, I can never do that." I felt tears in my eyes again.
"Bella, I'm sorry, I don't know why I said all that." Ana squeaked with tears in her eyes as well.
"Just leave me alone. I don't want to talk anymore." I rattled, before turning completely around in my seat. I stared blankly in front of me as I tried to calm myself down. I was angry. Hurt. And just ready to go to bed. Today was more than I could handle.
The rest of the drive to the house was quiet. Edward kept glancing over at me with worried looks. He kept his hand on my thigh. It was a comforting feeling, but I didn't allow myself to relax. I was bracing myself for further disappointment.
The moment the farm was in view, I felt anxiety take hold of me. A lump came to my throat. Memories rushed back to me in waves. Some good and some bad. Nothing had changed. Not even a little. This was the place I had grown up in. The fields, the barn, a small pond around the back of the house. There was a smoky fragrance wafting through the air as I exited the car. It appeared the fireplace was working against the chilly temperatures outside.
Ana and Jacob went inside first. Ana had wanted to get a few things from her old room to bring back to the city with her. I paused outside on the porch, taking in my surroundings for a moment. Edward stayed at my side, watching me quietly. He appeared concerned, but didn't speak. He was giving me a little time and space. It was appreciated. I needed to ease myself into this.
Once I gathered the courage, I made my way inside and straight to my parent's old room. This was an area of the house that was off limits for my entire childhood. So, it felt so foreign being here. I scanned all over the room, noting the thin layer of dust on everything. The old pictures and knickknacks, none of them were familiar. I moved around the bed, to a door that lead into my father's private study.
I've never even seen what the inside of this room looked like. Unsurprisingly, it was locked. Edward moved to my side and with one hard pull, he broke the lock, allowing the door to open. I stopped at the threshold, peeking around the area.
It was small, even smaller than my closet at home. A wooden desk sat in the middle of the space, surrounded by books, mountains of papers and large maps pinned to the walls. I wasn't expecting something like this. My dad was a farmer, I'm not sure what he did in this study, but it didn't seem to have anything to do with farming.
Strange symbols decorated some of the papers. We entered the room fully. Edward moved to analyze the bookcases, while I went to the desk. Under the desk was a small box. I guessed that this was the box my mother had spoken about.
Cautiously, I sat down at the desk and lifted the box up to examine the contents. Everything was so dusty, and the stale air of this area was suffocating. Edward moved to hover over me, he eyed the box with curiosity.
A blanket, a tiny gold bracelet and a few wooden trinkets, all shaped like animals. There were strange carvings all over the animals. Intricate patterns and unfamiliar symbols. I could feel Edward's escalating tension.
"These aren't normal." Edward muttered, lightly picking up the wooden toys, scanning over them with a deep frown. "They aren't of this plane of existence."
"What do you mean by that?"
"These objects aren't man-made. The materials don't exist here. I've only seen something like this one other time. The wooden frame used to hold the mirror in place in the patron hall. It's made of the same thing." Edward answered, looking at me closely.
"Well, what does it mean? A reaper created these objects?"
"Only the grim can create things like this. This isn't an ability that just any reaper can do."
How could this be explained? How was I connected to the Grim? Why would these things be found in the same area I was in?
I lifted the little bracelet from the box, wiping some of the dust off. On the gold band, a name was inscribed, 'Zara'. My body froze. My breath cause in my throat.
It couldn't be. There was no way that was possible.
Edward stroked my back softly, watching me quietly for a moment. But I sensed his growing anxiety and concern. He lightly took the bracelet from me and looked it over. His expression reflected my own.
"You are the daughter of the Grim?" He stuttered.
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